- TOGETHERNESS: Everyone enjoys spending time together.
- RESPECT: They respect one another’s thoughts, feelings, boundaries, and possessions.
- ACCEPTANCE, APPRECIATION, AND AFFIRMATION: They encourage and BUILD ONE ANOTHER UP.
- LOVE: They not only love one another, they communicate this love.
- RULES AND RESPONSIBILITY: They follow certain rules and share family responsibilities.
- COMMUNICATION: Everyone talks to one another about what is in their hearts and on their minds. (Talks and listens!)
- FUN AND LAUGHTER: They relax and have good times together.
- HONESTY: Everyone is honest and truthful with one another.
- TRADITIONS: They have routines, patterns, and traditions that bring them closer.
- FAITH: They have a common faith that gives them hope and gruides them through the easy and difficult times.
The above outline of a great family is by Dr. Steve Stephens, Psychologist and Seminar Speaker. It’s a great set of goals, but if you think, even for a second, that your family might not be ”great” because it can’t check mark each of the 10 everyday, you’re just plain wrong.
There’s only one family that could achieve all 10 on just about any given day, and you saw them in the picture above. (The fictional television version anyway, because if you read the actual books, you’d know that Laura’s family actually had flaws. They were human rather than Stepfords.)
Families are made up of individuals – and each individual has his or her own likes, dislikes, quirks, strengths, and weaknesses.
We parents can be a funny lot – we raise our children to have strong wills (they’ll need them to face the world as it is today), to be independent thinkers, and to respect themselves and their thoughts – then, very often, when (having done our job brilliantly!), they take an independent, self-reliant stand or make a decision we don’t 100 percent agree with, we’re utterly floored.
And, another thought while I’m on the subject. (I apologize for the post running longer than usual – but families are such an important subject!!) My husband and I spent a lot of years in a church and a denomination that taught and preached, basically, “Break the will in your child.” That never set right with either of us. As the parents of three daughters, we wanted – and still want – for them to be strong-willed. Weak-willed young ladies in the world today – are you freakin’ kidding me???
Anyway, back to the “10 Signs” – It is a great guideline, but keep one thing in mind. The funnest, easiest way to approach the list would be to go….
- Oh, he messes up here – royally…
- This one has her name all over it…
- Why can’t she see…
- Yep, this is him again…
That approach, while typical, is dead wrong. The only way goals, guidelines, affirmations, (or anything of the kind) work is to approach it as it relates to self.
- Am I fun for my family to be around?…
- Do I respect everyone’s thoughts, limits, goals, boundaries – even when they don’t reflect my own?…
- Am I more often an encouragement or a discouragement?…etc, etc, etc…
Have a great Sunday and an amazing week,
Joi
{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }
The real-life Ingalls family was also a heckuva lot more interesting than the simplistic one Michael Landon created!
Some of the things Ma and Pa told Laura and her sisters have stayed with me and popped up at the most unpredictable times; e.g. “Just do your best — nobody can ask any more of you than that.”