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Pushing Boundaries with March Madness

by joi on March 16, 2010

in Articles, General, Positive Thought, Self Help

When I named my first self improvement blog, I chose Out of Bounds because I’m in love with the idea of pushing boundaries.  The concept was, and is, to never allow yourself to be trapped in a restricted area – confined by boundaries set by anyone, including yourself.  Of course it’s a lot easier to say, “Go as far as you think you possibly can and then go further” than it is to actually do it.  Sadly, it is very easy to create these boundaries for yourself.  It’s easy to say, “I’ve gone as far as I possibly can – so leave me alone. Leave me comfortable. Hand me a Coke while you’re up.”

But, really, just how wonderful is stagnation?  How comfortable is it to cease to grow? If you ask me, few things are sadder than the individual with a world of potential who won’t get out of their own way. They take a look around and see boundaries that have been set either by others or their own insecurities and laziness.  Then, instead of summoning up enough fight to push the boundaries back – they go back to the couch.  How much are they missing out on?  What are they robbing themselves, and possibly the rest of the world, of?

Unless gumption finds them on the couch and taps them on the shoulder, we may never know.

In the world of sports, this sort of comfy cozy thinking seals athletes’ fates again and again.  You know the inspirational quote, Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results? Apparently, many more people are flirting with insanity than we ever thought possible.

Here’s one scenario: An NCAA basketball program sits down to make out a schedule for the coming year.  The coach and athletic director, who of course value their  job, take caution when scheduling other teams.  They often opt for more cupcakes than they do serious competition.   After all, wins are all that matter to them at that moment.   Then, along comes March and they find themselves again on the “bubble” for being selected into the highly coveted NCAA Tournament.  The experts play the familiar song of “a weak schedule” and how important it is to have a strong schedule.  Every.  Year.

The coaches and the athletic directors KNOW they have to play stronger teams to stand a chance of making the dance.  Yet, somehow they keep setting their own boundaries – then waiting on a miracle in March.  They make one of the worst mistakes in the world – leaving their fate in someone else’s hands.  Whenever possible, we should move Heaven and earth to control our own fate and make our own way… yes, even if that means pushing the boundaries back and taking chances.  Never leave your fate up to someone else. Stay behind the wheel of your own car.

Taking on challenges is like playing stronger teams – it makes you stronger, and isn’t that the whole idea?

Of course (sticking with NCAA basketball – partly because I eat, sleep, and breath it… I’m from Kentucky, it’s a birthright) the kids aren’t always completely blameless, either.  How about the games they throw away because they lose focus?  Sure it’s tough to have laser focus during final exams week or the holidays – but sometimes you have to dig deep and if you can’t find the strength – create it.

My own beloved UK Wildcats lost focus earlier in the season.  They achieved the coveted #1 ranking, got a call from President Obama (for raising an incredible amount of money for Haiti), were lead by candidates for player of the year, freshman of the year, and coach of the year, and were the last undefeated team in the country.  Distractions, much? They went to South Carolina to play a team who (on paper), while comprised of talented kids with a lot of heart, in no way, shape, or form, should have beaten UK.  No way. No way. No way.

But they did.

The South Carolina kids, coaches, and fans had a look of sheer determination and focus in their eyes and in their play.

Our guys lost focus for one game and – in the end – it could have cost them (months later) a #1 seed in the NCAA tournament.  At the time, the tourney was the farthest thing from their minds.  If the President had just called me, I’m pretty sure it would be far from my mind as well!  This lack of focus wound up drawing boundaries for them – locking them out of the #1 spot in the rankings.

They had to fight like crazy the rest of the year – especially in the SEC Tournament – to keep their top seed hopes alive.  Thanks to a team who was fighting for their NCAA life (Mississippi State), we could have easily lost our number one seed.

Although no one really wants to think about it (because it makes the head throb and the heart sink), if UK had kept their focus in South Carolina, they could have finished the year ranked #1 and gotten the very top seed.

When we lose focus, even for 40 minutes – we create our own boundaries.

Approach each day with more than just that day in mind.  Think of the big picture, what you’re working toward.  Don’t think about who you are, where you are, or what you’re doing, think about who you want to be, where you want to go, and what you want to be doing.   At the first of each season, and before each game, if the players and coaches all remembered that they were playing for top positions in the NCAA tournament (or even an invitation to the dance), they’d be SO much better off.

Thinking about it in March is too late.

  • If you want a promotion or a raise next year – it’s something you have to keep in mind each and every day.  You can’t wait for next year to roll around, then hope you did enough.  You have to think about it every single day and make sure you do enough!  Don’t let laziness or lack of focus create boundaries.
  • If you want to lose weight – you can’t slack off.  You have to commit yourself to the task each and every day – yes, even on weekends.  You know the smart decisions, just make them and make them and keep making them until you get to where you want to be.  Don’t set deep-fried or sugar-coated boundaries for yourself and don’t let laziness or a lack of focus fence you in.
  • If you want to grow your home business and make more money (who doesn’t?!), you can’t just think about it once or twice a week.  You can’t just focus your attention on it when the bills are due.  It’s something you have to focus on and commit to every day – 24/7.

When we lose focus, things that shouldn’t in any way defeat us sneak up on us.  Whether they’re Gamecocks or other forces of evil!

Stay focused and keep pushing yourself to go further, do more, and be more.  This is the only way to keep pushing the boundaries AWAY from you and to keep growing.  The alternative?  The boundaries won’t just close in on you – they’ll collapse on you and you won’t have anywhere to go…. or grow.  Keep pushing the boundaries.  Keep pushing the boundaries.  Keep pushing the boundaries.  Out of bounds is where the sweetest music is.

Dance on!

What We Can Learn From Subway’s Five, Five, Five Dollar Footlong

by joi on March 11, 2010

in Articles, Health, Positive Thought, Self Help

I heart Subway.  I, literally, could eat lunch at my neighborhood Subway each and every day.  I’ve tried each of their sandwiches over the many years I’ve been in love with them and I’ve never left a bite untouched.  My only request would be the addition of Guacamole… come on, I’ll pay more for it!

A few minutes ago, one of Subway’s catchy “Five Dollar Foot long… ANY Five Dollar Foot long….” commercials came on.  In addition to making me want a Veggie Delite with black olives, lettuce, American Cheese, cucumbers, banana peppers, pickles, and sweet onion dressing, it made me think about their successful advertising campaign.  This one took guts – and paid off.

If I had a Sales and Marketing blog, I’d applaud Subway’s brilliance for attacking the fragile economy head on with their infamous $5 Subways.  I’d point out that they know that they get that the best way to woo the public is to tap into into the things that matter most to them:

  1. Health and Fitness. Remember Jared?  He showed us how “one of us” (the guy or gal next door) actually lost weight while eating delicious food.  They’re also prominent sponsors of the popular show The Biggest Loser… again reminding us that they’re on our side.  They’ll provide us with delicious, healthy alternatives and save us from the fried, greasy stuff we might get elsewhere.
  2. Saving Money! A footlong sub (piled with goodness) for $5.00 is an excellent deal, just when we need excellent deals the most.  Brilliant.

Alas, I don’t have a sales blog because I know diddly squat about selling.  I’m on team buying, not team selling.  Which, I suppose explains why my husband is on team selling.

From a Self Help and Self Improvement standpoint, I think we can actually learn something from this popular, catchy Subway campaign.  Whether we use the lesson in our daily life, in our writing and blogging, in our work, or in the ways we try to make the world a better place – it’s right there, waiting for us to scarf it up as readily as we do the subways,  themselves.

Here are a few of the lessons I think we can learn from Subway:

  • Originality rawks and originality rawks hard.
  • We shouldn’t take ourselves too seriously.
  • We should often look for ways to renew, refresh, and reinvent ourselves.

Think about it.  Subway took a huge chance on this campaign.  They chose a jingle which, let’s be honest, is a little cheesy. Yet they went with it. In fact they ran with it – laughing at themselves in the process.  How cool is that?!   Jingles like this are very hit or miss.  Subway could have been laughed AT or laughed WITH.  They went over the top and landed in the zone.  Life is about taking chances and taking risks. Sometimes you have to just go for it – without hesitation and without fear.  Many times, these risks pay off better than you ever even hoped for.

Don’t ever be afraid to be yourself.  Don’t ever be afraid to stand out from the crowd. Don’t ever aspire to be a wallflower.

I also love the fact that this successful campaign doesn’t involve them trying to sling lettuce on their competition (though they have in the past gone down that yellow and red brick road).  These types of campaigns always turn me off.  It’s like, if you believe in what you have to offer, why bring the other guys into it?  In fact, some fast food restaurant recently had a campaign where they took a swipe at Wendy’s (by showing the back of a girl with big red ponytails).  Here’s the effect it had on me:  I rushed out for some Wendy’s chili.  I got an instant craving and addressed it immediately.

Hmmm, I seriously can’t even tell you who’s commercial it was.  For me, it was Wendy’s.

Brought to the world of self improvement and self help:  We will never climb higher by stepping on other people. Putting our footprints on others never adds value to them – it lessens what value they had. Every time.

If you value what you have to say and what you have to offer, what does it matter to you what others are doing or saying?  Why go to their blogs and leave negative comments or try to run their name down on yours’?   If you believe in yourself, believe all the way and keep the spotlight on yourself.  I suspect that many times insecurity is the reason people shine the spotlight on others.   Why else wouldn’t they want it on themselves?

I know that many things in life are gravely serious.  I’m as aware of that as anyone.  However, I also know that many people take things far too seriously.  Life should be enjoyed, not stressed over.  Let go of little things and you’ll find that the world is a beautiful, wonderful place.  Let it be.

Finally, Subway teaches us the value of reinventing yourself.  They knew that Jared’s campaign had kind of worn itself out.  The public had gotten pretty accustomed to his handsome face and winsome disposition.  I’m not saying he doesn’t have a lot of mileage left – I love the Jared commercials!  I am saying this, Subway knew it was time to mix things up a little and throw something unexpected out there.

Now, when Jared does come back, we’ll be more apt to pay attention.

Never allow yourself to fall into a rut.  Mix things up every now and then!  Be true to your message, your goal, your dreams, and your life’s mission…. but keep things interesting.  If you lull everyone to sleep, they’ll never hear a word you’re saying.

You know what makes me sad?  When people WANT to do something, learn something, or try something but hold themselves back.  No one else is standing in their way but themselves.

  • If you wish you kept a cleaner house, pick up the broom and make it happen.  Start now!
  • If you wish you knew more geography (or history, math, botany, a foreign language), what are you waiting for? As soon as you leave Self Help Daily, find some wonderful educational websites and/or head off for the library.  Learning new things is invigorating and makes you feel more alive than ever.  Have at it!
  • If you wish you were known for having an easy-going, laid back temper instead of being a hot head – start working on it.

You get the point.  If you aren’t happy with the path you’re on… make a new one.  No one’s making you stay on this one.  Pave your own path and, you know the rules by now, don’t just walk down it, dance.

Dance on!

Scribe SEO Plugin: Love at First Site

by joi on February 25, 2010

in Articles, Blogging

Yankee legend Mickey Mantle worded it this way:  “It’s unbelievable how much you don’t know about the game you’ve been playing all your life.” - Mickey Mantle

Starbucks legend Joi words it this way: “Holy cats. I didn’t know what I thought I knew.“

Funny, isn’t it? You can do something for what seems like your whole life and then suddenly realize that you didn’t know quite as much as you thought you did.  It happened to me recently and I’m still reeling.  You might think this would be a distressing, sickening feeling but, truth be told, I’m completely invigorated and excited.

Knowledge does that to me.  Especially when it comes bearing fruit such as new horizons, fresh opportunities, and unlimited possibilities.

As you know, I’ve been working online for well over 12 years.   Currently, I have 14 blogs and websites.   When it comes to traffic, generating income, and so on – the majority of them do quite well.   They’re like kids.  Some are over-achievers, some are under achievers, and some are so quiet, I forget they’re even in the room.

Since I work from home, I”m allowed the luxury of researching seo (search engine optimization), themes, plugins, and so forth.  I know (and use) the best themes online and work hard to stay on top of the best plugins, optimization practices, and so on.  Quite honestly, I thought I was sitting on a seriously impressive amount of information and skill.  Then…..

“Holy cats! I didn’t know what I thought I knew.“

I recently installed the Scribe SEO Copywriting Made Simple plugin on a few of my blogs and have been overjoyed with what I’ve seen so far.   I want, not only to make my future posts and articles as SEO-friendly as possible, but to go back to older posts and perk them up as well.  You know, the early posts of a blog when you didn’t even know what SEO or Meta Descriptions were.   These old posts can still get traffic and they still have a lot to offer – but they’ll never reach their potential if no one knows they’re there.

Originally, I was going to use Scribe SEO  for a few weeks, or even a month, and see if the results were impressive enough to recommend to my readers.  As you know if you read Self Help Daily regularly, I absolutely, positively am not in the hait of recommending very many products or services. One of the reasons for this is that when I do – I want you to know I flat out mean business.  It’s also a personal thing, I hate, loathe, and despise any newsletter or blog that sees me as nothing but a dollar tree with nothing but bracelets and money on its branches.   If a product, tool, theme, or service convinces me that it could help some of the people I value the most (my readers) – I’ll share it with them.  But I hold these things under a magnifying glass for quite a while first.

The problem with this original “wait and see” plan was that I fell in love with Scribe on the first date.  Indeed, it was love at first site.

From Scribe SEO.com

In the old days, a scribe was a writer entrusted to record the most valuable and important information for kings, nobles, and cities.

These days, Scribe™ helps writers create content that gets found online, and that’s become as valued and important as any old scroll or parchment.

Scribe is an SEO software service for WordPress that analyzes the content of web pages, blog posts, online press releases, you name it… at the click of a button

One of the first blogs I installed Scribe on was my Kentucky blog, Genuine Kentucky.  This site does pretty well in search engines and I normally rank pretty well for my keywords.  But “pretty well” isn’t a goal I set for anything I do and I’m certain it isn’t one of your’s either.

Because I have a high number of niche sites combined with the fact that I love knowledge, I have been a huge fan of Google News Alerts since day one.  I subscribe to a great number of news alerts covering different areas of interest.  I use a lot of the different “keywords” and “subjects” that are relevant to my blogs.  The Google news alerts come into my e-mail and serve as taps on the shoulder telling me, “You’ll find this interesting…”

After installing and using Scribe on just ONE post on Genuine Kentucky, something happened that had never happened before:  My showed up in the Google News Alert for the main keyword.  One post.  That very day.  I have never had this happen before.  And I thought I knew so much.  Hmph.

This post also showed up better in Google for its keywords than normal – and faster.

Scribe is as easy to use as pouring a cup of coffee.  After installing and activating (easy, easy, easy), you simply write your post, article, or page as you normally would.  The Scribe Content Optimizer shows up on the right with the other WP-Admin widgets (Post Tags, Categories…).  When you think you’re finished, click the button that says Analyze.  In a few seconds, Scribe lets you know what you’ve done well and what you could improve upon.

Scribe led me to make a few changes to this particular post and basically slapped it on the backside and sent it in Google’s direction.  Something that I want to see happen again and again and again.

Before installing Scribe, I knew it was going to be fantastic.  Brian Clark (Copyblogger) is behind it and he would never put his name on anything that wasn’t 100 percent golden.  Because of this, he has a reputation online that few attain and all desire.   However, over the years I’ve seen a lot of tools and services come around the bend.  Most of the time, you get either what you expected or less than you expected.  This is one of the few times when I got far more than I expected.

What Scribe Can Do For You

Okay, let’s get down to the heart of the matter.  I know a lot of my readers are bloggers.  I know a lot of you are very talented and successful authors with blogs and websites of your own.  I also have quite a few publicist friends who follow Self Help Daily.  While all of you are, no doubt, happy for me and my little Kentucky blog, you’re no doubt wondering, “What can Scribe do for me?”

  • Scribe can help you rank better in the search engines – The better you rank, the more people will find you.
  • Scribe can free up the time you have to spend actively looking for visitors, buyers, prospects, etc.  This SEO tool will cause people to come to you rather than you having to go to them.
  • Scribe will give you a valuable education in SEO, keywords, meta descriptions, copywriting for search engine optimization, and so on.  If you desire a strong online presence and following, this education is priceless.
  • You won’t have to wonder if you did “this” or “that” right – Scribe will let you know… all with the click of one button.

Scribe as Your Own Personal SEO Assistant

I work online all day.  Everyday. I also am an avid cook who isn’t quite happy if she can’t spend at least a couple of hours each day cooking.  Add to this a house that refuses to clean itself, cats that think it’s always the right time to play, movies that must be watched, shopping that must be done,  articles to write, daily exercise, and a host of other things that fall under the category LIFE.  Because of the blissful business, I’ve often thought, “How cool would it be to have an assistant?!“  Because I’m not trained in the ways of search engine optimization, the assistant in my fantasies always was an SEO genius.  And worked for free.  Well, I’d give her all the coffee she could drink.

Now I have my assistant and I don’t have to share my coffee.  The Scribe Content Optimizer is a virtual SEO assistant – sitting right beside you as you work, giving you advice and coaching you in the ways of  SEO.  What’s more, Scribe is very inexpensive.   I know for a fact that it could be priced higher than it is.  The opportunities that this service will open up are nothing short of outstanding.

When I first saw all that Scribe SEO entails and saw, firsthand, what it can do for my blogs/sites, I felt a little bit ill.  I couldn’t help wondering where my sites would be right now if I’d been utilizing these simple techniques all along.  I couldn’t help wondering how much more traffic my sites could have, how much better they’d rank in Google, how many more advertisers I could have generated, and so on.

Then it occurred to me, the game isn’t over.  I can create search engine friendly posts forevermore AND go back and tweak all of  my older posts.  After all, it’s a never-ending game.  The sweet thing is Scribe just put Albert Pujols in my starting line up.

Batter up!

I strongly urge you to go immediately to Scribe SEO Copywriting Made Simple and give yourself the edge you need – not just to compete in the competitive world of blogging – but to win.

SEO Copywriting Made Simple

Mickey Mantle: The Man Behind the Legend

by joi on February 24, 2010

in Articles, General, Positive Thought

After I hit a home run I had a habit of running the bases with my head down. I figured the pitcher already felt bad enough without me showing him up rounding the bases. – Mickey Mantle

If there’s a better illustration of character, than the quote above gives, I’d love to see it.  In an era where most athletes love nothing more than gloating and showboating, Mickey Mantle could teach everyone a thing or two (or a gazillion) about what it really means to have character as well as talent.  After all, the talent will fade eventually whereas character never has to go anywhere.

As we lead up to Baseball season (I’m as big a baseball fan as you’ll ever find – whether it’s my St. Louis Cardinals or any random team, if there’s a baseball game on tv or the radio, you’ll know where to find me), I thought it’d be fun to look at a different baseball player each week and learn a little more about them.  I’ve pulled out some fantastic quotes and stories from some of these men and I know you’ll enjoy them, whether you’re a baseball fan or not.  (If you aren’t a baseball fan, please don’t tell me.  I… I… don’t want to see you like that.)

Mickey Mantle:  The Man Behind the Legend

Mickey Mantle was born in 1931 in Spavinaw, Oklahoma – a small town put on the map by the baseball giant.  Mickey’s parents were Elvin Charles Mantle and Lovell Mantle. Mickey’s dad, a huge baseball fan, named his son after Mickey Cochrane, a Hall of Fame catcher for the, then, Philadelphia Athletics.

Mickey Mantle always spoke very highly and lovingly of his father, calling him the bravest man he ever knew. “No boy ever loved his father more,” he said. Tragically, his father died of cancer in 1952 at the ridiculously young age of 39.  To compound the tragedy, he died just as his son’s amazing career was just getting started.

“A team is where a boy can prove his courage on his own. A gang is where a coward goes to hide.” – Mickey Mantle

Mickey Mantle was called up to the majors on April 7, 1951.   How’s this for high praise? – Joe DiMaggio, in his final season, called Mantle, “the greatest prospect I can remember.”

After a bit of a slump, Mantle was sent down to the Yankees’ top farm team, the Kansas City Blues. Possibly due to frustrations and putting too much pressure on himself, Mickey struggled and became so overwhelmed that he was ready to throw in the proverbial towel.   He even called his father one day and told him, “I don’t think I can play baseball anymore.”  Like any good father would, his dad drove up to Kansas City that very day. When he arrived, Mickey remembered that he said, “I thought I raised a man. I see I raised a coward instead. You can come back to Oklahoma and work the mines with me.”

The mines never saw the younger Mantle.

Mickey immediately broke out of his slump and after 40 games, he was called back to New York.  For good.

The great number 7 was retired by the New York Yankees in Mickey Mantle’s honor and he was inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame in 1974, as soon as he was eligible.

“I hated to bat against (Don) Drysdale. After he hit you he’d come around, look at the bruise on your arm and say, ‘Do you want me to sign it?’” – Mickey Mantle

Unfortunately, even great baseball players have their demons and Mickey’s was alcoholism.  He sought treatment and got the upper hand on the demon.  Sportscaster Pat Summerall was one of the main people who urged him to go to The Betty Ford Clinic.

Mickey Mantle spoke with great, deep-seeded remorse and heartache about his alcoholism in a 1994 Sports Illustrated story. He said that he was telling the same old stories, and realizing how much of them involved himself and others being drunk, and he decided they weren’t funny anymore.

“It was all I lived for, to play baseball.” – Mickey Mantle

He acknowledged that alcohol had caused him to often be hurtful or neglectful to his family, friends, and fans, and that he wanted to make things right.

Mickey Mantle became a born-again Christian thanks, in part, to his former teammate Bobby Richardson, an ordained Baptist minister who shared his faith with him.

Mickey died in Dallas on August 13, 1995.  During the first Yankee home game after his death, Eddie Layton played “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” on the organ because Mickey had once told him it was his favorite song.

In his eulogy, sportscaster Bob Costas described Mickey Mantle  as “a fragile hero to whom we had an emotional attachment so strong and lasting that it defied logic.” He added: “In the last year of his life, Mickey Mantle, always so hard on himself, finally came to accept and appreciate the distinction between a role model and a hero. The first, he often was not. The second, he always will be. And, in the end, people got it.”

“Somebody once asked me if I ever went up to the plate trying to hit a home run. I said, ‘Sure, every time.’” – Mickey Mantle

See Also: Quotes by Mickey Mantle

7 Sound Reasons to Have a Mentor in Your Life

by joi on February 12, 2010

in Articles, Relationships, Self Help

Below is a guest post by Arina from Arina Nikitina.com. After Arina contacted me, I visited her site to have a look around. I always go to an About Page when I’m checking a new website or blog out for the first time – it feels like a handshake. When I saw the quote she had at the top of her about page, I knew we were going to get along brilliantly – not only is it one of my favorite, it’s pretty much my mantra: “If it’s not fun, you’re not doing it right.” – Bob Basso

After reading her wonderful article, I hope you’ll visit her bright and beautiful blog. You can always tell her the coffee drinking polar bear chick sent you. She’ll know exactly who you mean.

7 Sound Reasons to Have a Mentor in Your Life

“Many receive advice, few profit by it.” - Publilius Syrus

For the longest time, just like many other people, I underestimated the importance of having a mentor. After all why look for a specific person, when you can always turn to your parents, friends, colleagues, multiple social networks and even public forums when you need advice and moral support. If like me, you, are wondering why anyone would need a mentor, here are some serious reasons for having one:

1.  Valuable experience.

As much as it boosts our ego to think that we are smart and we can “handle everything” and “figure it all out”, sooner or later we might face a problem bigger than we can handle. You would never think of using a trial and error method to neutralize a bomb. Neither would you try to fly a plane for the first time without an instructor. It might not sound very optimistic, but life is infinitely more complicated than plane flying or neutralizing a bomb. There are some situations when too much is at stake and guesswork is simply not an option. In this case a mentor could be the only person, who is knowledgeable and experienced enough to help you make the right decision and prepare you for the serious exam called everyday life.

2. Self-improvement.

It is not always easy to live according to our conscience. The line that separates “right” from “wrong” and “good” from “bad” is often blurred and it can be tempting to make a convenient choice instead of the right one (especially if our heart is telling us one thing and our mind another). A mentor is a person who with one simple question is able to clear your doubts and gently, but firmly push you in the right direction.

3. Encouragement.

We all have those days when everything seems to go wrong. We feel demotivated, tired, frustrated and alone. Good-intended remarks like “Cheer up!” or “It is going to be ok” accompanied with an affectionate pat on the shoulder may have the opposite effect, especially if there are coming from a person who has never been in our situation and has no idea what we are going through. A mentor, on the other hand, might not tell you that everything is going to be just wonderful, but somehow they still manage to reassure you and give you the necessary encouragement to keep on going forward.

4. Honesty.

Wise men of ancient times believed that a people can be qualified to give a good advice if they meet three conditions:
a. They should not be emotionally attached to you, because otherwise they will not be unbiased. Their emotions will interfere with their judgment.
b. They should not ask to be paid for their advice or depend on your income, otherwise they will be conditioned to tell you what you like to hear.
c. And finally, they should practice what they preach.
There are plenty of friends, coworkers, and neighbors who will readily give you advice, but only a few can overcome the impulse to tell you what they believe you WANT to hear and have enough wisdom and inner strength to tell you what you NEED to hear. A mentor is a rare person who can do this.

5. Better chances of success.

Basically there are two ways to gain wisdom in life – learn from your own mistakes or learn from the mistakes of other people. The first way is more painful and more time consuming. The second one requires a mentor who will share their experience with you and help you to avoid mistakes that you would otherwise make. There is no doubt that any failure holds a valuable lesson that in the future will help you to improve your performance. However, why fail more than it is necessary? If you want to achieve success faster and with less effort, finding a mentor might be your best option.

6. Greater motivation.

Most of us have a pretty clear idea about what we should do to improve our health and quality of life: exercise regularly, eat less fried and greasy foods, be more patient with our children, go to bed at a reasonable hour, yada yada yada… But for some unknown reason we do not do any of these things. Why? Because there is a huge difference between knowing something and really understanding it. We might know something for years, but one day out of nowhere it just makes sense. If you have ever had those “Aaaah…Now I get it!” moments, then you know exactly what I am talking about. A good mentor has the rare ability to explain to you what you need to do and why, in a way that makes sense. That is why an encounter with a mentor often becomes a turning point in many people’s life.

7. Less room for excuses.

Our ability to quickly come up with excuses and half-truths is basically a built-in self-defense mechanism that serves to protect our sense of self and ultimately our ego. Think about it… Excuses allow us to procrastinate, give up on our dreams, blame our failures on someone or something else, or avoid helping another person when we do not feel like it (and we can do it all without having to deal with such unpleasant feelings as guilt, fear and embarrassment). The only real problem with this excuse mechanism is that it holds us back and makes it impossible to succeed at anything. A real mentor will easily be able to see through your carefully fabricated stories and will not let you get away with them. Why? Because his main purpose is not to please your ego, but to bring out the best in you.

“A mentor is someone who allows you to see the hope inside yourself.” - Oprah Winfrey

The article above was written for Self Help Daily by Arina.  Please visit her Self Improvement blog.

Great stuff, Arina – thank you!

Wonderful Lesson About Quitting from Napoleon Hill

by joi on January 22, 2010

in Articles, Books I Love, Positive Thought, Self Help, Thursday Throwback

A goal is a dream with a deadline. – Napoleon Hill

One of my favorite authors of all time is Napoleon Hill. He was a brilliant man, in every sense of the word, and I simply cannot read a single paragraph written by Mr. Hill without wanting to take on the hounds of Hell with my Swiffer mop. Two paragraphs and I put the mop down.

Napoleon Hill was born in 1883 in a one-room cabin on the Pound River in Wise County, Virginia. His life as a writer began at the ripe old age of 13 when he became a mountain reporter for a small town newspaper.

This mountain reporter went on to become one of the greatest forces the motivational world has ever known. Men and women will quote this great man forever because his words will forever be worth repeating. Napoleon Hill passed away in November 1970 but not before securing a beautiful legacy anyone would be proud of.

For today’s Thursday Throwback, I’d love to direct you to a wonderful piece of writing by Napoleon Hill titled Three Feet From Gold.  Now where’s that Swiffer…..

New Jesus Movement Takes Social Media by Storm

by joi on January 6, 2010

in Articles, Spiritual

What follows is a press release that I found to be fascination and I knew you would as well!

Innovative Strategies for Social Media Help Group Raise Funds

Dallas/ Ft. Worth, TX — Christians from all over the world are tweeting, facebooking, and blogging the same message: It’s time for a new Jesus film that will reach the next generation with the gospel. It’s time for a movie that captures the true character of Christ as revealed in Scripture—heroic, passionate, winsome, the Living God made man. What began as Bruce Marchiano’s God-given vision has now become a growing movement that is energizing the church through a social media blitz reaching Facebook, Twitter, and a host of other online tools. And now it’s easier than ever to join the movement that will bring Jesus…No Greater Love to the world.

In the past few years, social media has reshaped the way organizations and individuals share their stories with the world. Sites like Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube have made it possible to reach masses of people in an instant. Paradoxically, even as social media broadens the reach of any given message, it also provides opportunities to craft messages tailored specifically for different affinity groups. Drawing on the successful approaches of a variety of groups—everyone from Tom’s shoes to the Obama campaign—the executive team behind the new Jesus film has engineered a strategy that will unite Christians from around the world in support of the film.

The purpose of the social media blitz is two-fold: to spread the word about the movie through the viral nature of social networks and to recruit millions of producers who will contribute $10 to the production of the film. Social media will be the venue through which producers from around the world will interact with Marchiano and filmmakers. They will also be invited to submit their own videos as part of the promotion and creative process for the film. Upcoming additions to the social media campaign include a custom Facebook landing page and video submissions that will reach many video sites at once.

The film’s executive team recently added to its social media strategy a new mobile way to contribute—texting. Now anyone can easily donate $10 instantly via text message through an organization called Mobile Giving Foundation. When givers text “NJM” to the number 85944, a one-time $10 donation will be added to their mobile phone bill or deducted from their prepaid balance.

“Through this application, we have seen worthy causes meet 100% of their fundraising goals in one evening,” says Doug Plank, CEO of Mobile Giving Foundation. “As a supporter of Jesus…No Greater Love, I am excited to offer this tool that will help convert enthusiasm for the movement into instant donations.”

The fundraising aspect of the campaign is directly dependent on raising awareness of the project, so the film’s executive team is keeping social media the main emphasis of its communications strategy.

“So far, our use of social media has been very effective in raising awareness of the new Jesus movie project and engaging people of all ages. Contributions have been coming in from all over the world, including South Africa, Asia and Europe,” says Gary McClure, who is coordinating all social media for the New Jesus Film movement.

“The addition of mobile giving is an exciting complement to our many online ways to interact with people around the world. Not only will it be effective for individual users, we anticipate mobile giving will be a fun group action, such as at a concert or youth event,” McClure adds.

The mobile nature of social media has also proved invaluable for Bruce Marchiano and www.NewJesusMovie.com. During a recent trip to South Africa, he was able to maintain contact with the film’s supporters and to share compelling stories from the field. For Marchiano, social networking is symbolic of the heart and soul of the new film. “This film was never about a group of elite investors. In essence, this movie belongs to every believer. This is a movie produced by the body of Christ to reach the entire world for Christ,” Marchiano says.

For more information visit www.NewJesusMovie.com

Is this a movie you’d be interested in seeing?  Count me among those who’d love to see such a film!

Goal Setting – Why New Year’s Resolutions Waste Your Time & What to Do to Accomplish More Goals

by joi on December 31, 2009

in Articles, Positive Thought, Self Help, Self Help Daily

When I first received the following guest post, I thought “As if!” I mean, I’m the queen of all New Year’s Resolutions and truly believe in them (personal experience backs me up). Yet here’s an article wanting to present itself to my friends on Self Help Daily and it’s waving its anti New Year’s Resolutions flag.

Ha! Like I’m ever going to publish that sort of thing. I thought, “I’ll be kind enough to read the article, then I’ll get back to my resolutions…” Problem is, I read the article and I totally liked the article.

What’s more: I’m totally publishing the article. Enjoy! I’ll be back later with the other side of the story – when I wave my PRO New Year’s Resolution flag. ;)

Goal Setting – Why New Year’s Resolutions Waste Your Time & What to Do to Accomplish More Goals
By Karim Ismail

If you’re looking to accomplish more goals this coming year then forget about New Year’s resolutions. The people that profit the most from New Year’s resolutions are…

* Owners of fitness centers
* Authors of weight loss books
* People who sell programs about how to make money online
* Other sellers of things we use to try to fulfill our dreams and fantasies

The people that make the resolutions don’t tend to benefit as much from their resolutions. Case in point: When is the last time you heard someone say something like, “I started my successful business as a result of a New Year’s resolution?”

I’ve never heard anyone say that and I suspect you haven’t either. That’s because resolutions are mostly based on feelings. It’s the beginning of a new year and we want it to be a new beginning for ourselves as well.

This desire for change is well and good, of course. The momentum that comes from change helps propel us forward. But instead of expecting a resolution to give you this momentum (it won’t) I recommend trying this exercise instead.

What You Should Be Doing Instead of Relying on Your New Year’s Resolutions

1. After the first of the year, schedule an appointment with yourself. Grab a notebook or a laptop and go to a quiet place-a coffee shop, a room in your house, or even a night alone in a hotel-and write a letter to yourself as if you were writing from the future, one year from now.

In my book Keep Any Promise I write about the importance of setting audacious goals.In this letter, describe what you are doing a year from now and make sure what you’re describing -career, house, vacations or whatever your writing about is audacious as possible. But, don’t make it totally outside the realm of possibility.

2. Remember, you are writing the letter to yourself from the future. Address the letter to yourself and sign it with your name. Here’s an example of something I might write:

“Dear Karim,

No doubt that it is a freezing cold Canadian winter day as you’re reading this. Rest assured that a year from this date you will be spending a vacation in the Fiji Islands. The weather here is perfect.

The Keep Any Promise Live Workshops were more successful this past year than I could have possibly imagined. Enrollment was more than triple what it was last year, making the Fiji trip possible…”

Write in this way for as many paragraphs and pages as you wish. Don’t worry about grammar and writing style because no one else has to see this letter. The whole purpose is to get you thinking beyond mere resolutions and thinking much bigger and more long term than you normally would.

3. Don’t restrict yourself to things like career and vacation. Feel free to talk about things like home decor and other small goals you might have. Those are important too. For example, maybe there’s an expensive appliance you’ve wanted for some time but couldn’t afford. Things like this have a place in the letter too.

4. After writing the letter, read it very carefully and meditate upon it. In your mind’s eye visualize the things in your letter coming to pass. Then put the letter away until the next year. Resist the temptation to pull it out and read it during the year. Wait and reread it a year from now and before writing your next letter. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised at how close you’ve come to achieving the audacious goals of the previous year-maybe you will have even surpassed some of them!

Accomplishing Goals Can Become Automatic
If you follow my advice, you will accomplish more goals than if you just set mere resolutions that fade away before Valentine’s Day. You’ll find yourself automatically making decisions throughout the year that will make your audacious goals possible. This will happen without you even realizing it. For example, if I had set the audacious goal of a trip to Fiji, throughout the year I will automatically notice ads for Fiji. I would find myself making decisions in my business to increase my income so that I can pay for the trip. It has a snowball effect!

The story format really helps pull everything together and it will help you visualize your audacious goals and implant them in your subconscious. Now, you will be able to achieve more in the next 12 months than you have in the previous 12 years.

In his new book “Keep Any Promise,” Karim Ismail provides many other exercises and tools that will help you achieve your audacious goals this coming year so you can be successful in business and life Now, you can get started with my free Life Quiz at: http://www.KeepAnypromise.com. This Life Quiz is a survey about YOU (think of it as a 50 Point Personal Check Up) and will help you create your successful life blueprint for a satisfying life.

*** What are your personal thoughts about New Year’s Resolutions?  Let us know in the comments! – Joi

Thursday Throwback to 1923: How to Get What You Want in Life Part 2

by joi on December 24, 2009

in Articles, Positive Thought, Thursday Throwback

Continued from How to Get What You Want in Life Part 1

HOW TO MAKE YOUR DESIRES MATERIALIZE by Elsie Lincoln Benedict, 1923

A friend in Denver once told me she “wanted a new spring suit more than anything.”  We were walking down Sixteenth Street a few days later and there in a front window she saw the VERY suit she was looking for – for $35.  In the olden days$35 actually bought a suit good enough for anybody, you remember?

“How lovely,” I exclaimed, “and to think you have the $35 right in your purse.  Let’s go right in and get it before somebody else does!”

Would she?  No.  She had said she wanted that suit more than anything else in the world.  But she didn’t even want it as much as she wanted the $35.

She WISHED she had a new suit like this one, but what she really WANTED was the money.

“But what about the person who hasn’t the $35?” I hear you ask.  And the answer is you will find is the utter truth.  It is this:  You can GET it, honestly, legitimately, quickly, and surely, provided YOU WANT IT.

…Decide to restrict yourself because you “can’t get the money for things you want” and the money you do get will come that much harder.

But make up your mind to MAKE ALL THE MONEY YOU NEED for the things you want – and from the hour of reaching that decision you will make five dollars easier than you now make one.

The richer you become the easier it is to make money.  The less you have the more difficult it is to get more.

…. All successful men and women who are frank will admit that many good things followed in the wake of that first big effort, and followed almost without further effort.

“Nothing succeeds like success” is an old and true saying.  Another not so old but equally true is that nothing fails like failure.

The world always helps you along whichever way you are going.  If you are headed uphill it will help pull you up.  If you are headed downhill it will give you a push.  We should not complain of this, but awaken to the fact that it IS a law, and instead of fighting it put it to work for us.

If you want to go uphill you must manifest this to the people around you.  They are all driving along Lif’e’s Highway too, and they see you, think of you, and get an impression of you.

If you want to go down all you have to do is to let it be known and you will have plenty of kicks and company.

The world gets one of its deepest impressions of you FROM THE DIRECTION IN WHICH YOUR CAR IS MOVING.  Everything about you tells what that is.  Even children and those who catch a glimpse of you for only a moment sense this and act toward you accordingly.

You never deceive them very much of very long in any way. Bluffing and pretending do not deceive anyone.  These only make you resemble a man who tells you he is traveling north when at every corner possible he turns south.

All of life is a journey along the great Highway.  We are always coming to crossroads.  We always make our own choice.  We turn or go straight ahead – as WE CHOOSE.

We come to scores of these corners every day and the world notes the turns we make.  It will give you plenty of time to get to your destination in the North, and many a lift besides, provided at the crossroads you keep heading in that direction.

Another strange thing about it is that the higher up you get the MORE help the world gives you, and the lower down the harder it gets.

You can see it for yourself.  If you haven’t a cent and ask the world for a quarter to keep you from starving, it will not give it to you very quickly or very graciously.  It says it “cant’ encourage that kind of thing.” It is afraid you “might not deserve it.”

But if you are a millionaire, with more money than you know what to do with, people will gladly loan you millions…

To the big dinners the hungry are not invited.  The guests are those already overfed.

“This is all true,” you say, “but how is one to get started in the right direction?  Especially when, as you say, the whole world is busy helping us downgrade already?”

The answer is: Change the CAUSE and you also change the EFFECT.

Your present condition…  is the natural and ineveitable outgrowth of the attitudes and feelings HARBORED in your subconscious mind.

Most people secretly cherish the delusion that this is not a law-ruled universe, and that somehow they will be able to get something for nothing.

Look again at the word “harbored,” for it reveals the crux of your situation.

All kinds of things come into your consciousness.  You can’t help seeing and hearing and even sometimes thinking these destructive things.

But you CAN refuse to HARBOR them.

The things that get down into your subconscious mind come out in your life.

But remember, nothing can get into your subconscious mind save as you dwell upon it and encourage it.

“But how can I start forward NOW, from this very spot?,” you ask.

To begin to go uphill in life instead of down…. it is only necessary that you TURN AROUND.  Other things will come later, but for today this will be enough…

To get anything you want, gently open your mind to the idea that you CAN get it, somewhere, somehow.  Do not dwell upon the things which just now seem to stand in the way of your getting it.

It is a law that two things cannot occupy the same place at the same time.  So, turning your attention toward the good thought drives the bad one out.  Soon this becomes a habit, and then out of your subconscious will comes the ideas of HOW to get what you want.

Behold: The Land of the Lost

by joi on December 17, 2009

in Articles, General, Self Help

Land of the Lost TV Show

I admit it: I’m a people watcher from way back. My mom said that, in the hospital nursery, all the other newborns were either sleeping or crying but I kept looking around. I kept an eye on the nurses, the parents, and the other babies. I guess I was just born to watch people with the utmost fascination.  Who needs to sleep, cry, or drink milk when they can try to get a handle on everyone else?

In a completely good-natured, innocent way, I sometimes “group” people into categories. There are the grumble guts (the ones with permanent scowls on their faces – I avoid them at all costs), the sweet seniors (love them), the jocks (you know, they’re the sort that wouldn’t just foul you on the b-ball court, they’d foul you hard), the sour seniors (grumble guts with years of practice under their belts), the Tree Huggers (they don’t just carry their own bags, they snarl at your plastic ones – they also seem to be waiting for the opportunity to lecture you on global warming, Polar Bears, seals, world hunger….) and many others – ranging from baby divas to the geek squad.  Of course there are some groups who are obvious: SuperMoms are the ones with 30 arms, the Cellphone Jokeys are the ones who are always riding a cellphone, Store Spinners (they take all day to shop and delight in each spin of the shopping cart) etc.   My daughters are baby divas (well-dressed, perfectly groomed, very young females) and my husband’s a geek-squad/jock/Cellphone Jockey.  Busy boy.  Me? I’m a SuperMom/Tree Hugger/Coffee Chugger/Store Spinner.  I’m also the driver you most want to avoid on the road.  One of those who never seems to know where she’s going until she’s about a mile past it.

Yesterday, I reported for jury duty and, lo and behold, I discovered a whole new breed of people:  The Land of the Lost.

I’ll get back to them in just a minute, but first a mini-rant.  Why do people panic over the mere proposition of jury duty?  It doesn’t last that long, it’s not that big of a deal, it isn’t hard, physical work, no one will pull a single tooth, and you sit more than you do anything else.  Yet people practically panic over the prospect.  I’ve heard of so many individuals who don’t even go – they act as though they never got the letter.  Why flirt with that kind of trouble?!  Even while there, people were trying to squirm out – even after the judge gave an excellent speech about civic duty and pointed out that he had served in Vietnam and suffered greatly all in the name of duty.

After hearing his speech, people still lined up trying to weasel out.

If you ever get a letter – just go. It’s not a big deal AT ALL.  It’s actuallyvery interesting.  You might discover a whole new breed of people, too.

Which, of course, brings us back to our beloved Land of the Lost.  There were over 100 of us there and this people watcher was in her element and on her game. So many people to observe and so little time.  There were lots of sweet seniors, a couple of  grumble guts and zero sour seniors (must’ve stayed home, miserable).  There was 1 cowboy, 5 Woodstock Holdouts, and several Honey-Dos, husbands who looked lost without their wives to show them where to sit.  There was a baby diva who was about 8 months pregnant – and she wore it beautifully.  She was brave enough to show.

There were enough Christmas Sweater Ladies to make a softball team, and they each smelled amazing.  Christmas Sweater Ladies are a tidy bunch and they have excellent perfume skills.

However…. a special group began to materialize in front of me.  It was as though I was a photographer for National Geographic – on assignment to photograph…oh, I dunno, let’s say polar bears… when a family of seals (a new species never seen, let alone photographed) comes flopping up.  Oh joy! How unexpected!

Hello, The Land of the Lost.

There were several individuals who seemed so completely out of their element that getting onto the elevator seemed taxing to them.  They seemed frightened of every person they passed, they acted as though they were being sent to the Middle East for a stretch of 5 years.  Following simple instructions seemed to be almost painful for them, poor dears.

It didn’t take long to figure them out.  The Land of the Lost doesn’t get out much.  Oh,  they know their way around a television set and can work a remote control like an airplane pilot works his controls.  They could tell you which show comes on which night, which channel it comes on, when the series finale will be, etc.  The high end Land of the Lost-ites can even tell you which series are on dvd.  They know what they’ll eat Friday night, they know where they’ll eat Sunday afternoon – after all, practice makes perfect and they don’t step outside of the lines very often.  They don’t know any good books, they don’t quite know what’s going on in the world, and life outside of their home is a little overwhelming.

Their lives have become so routine that when they have to step outside of the norm, they are utterly lost.  They’re the ones who don’t want to visit new cities, let alone other states (Heck fire, we’ve got all we need right here!).  New experiences?  Thanks, ma’am, but I like the ones I’ve been having for all these years. Time has cast them into a tiny little mold and they’ve hardened over the years.  When taken out of the mold for any length of time they seem to have one thing on their mind:  Getting back!

We can’t really be too hard on them.  It’s easy to get into a routine.  Why?  It’s comfortable and everyone loves being comfortable.  That’s probably why a lot of people have such an issue with serving on juries – it’s just a little too far out of the norm for them.  Yet, outside of the norm (outside of the mold) is where TRUE growth happens.  Each experience helps you to develop new layers and fill up fresh wells of life experiences to draw from.

The next time you’re faced with a situation that will be a stretch for you, welcome it! Don’t shy away from it or do back-bends trying to get out of it.  See it as an opportunity to keep you on your toes, an opportunity to keep your senses sharp, an opportunity to stretch yourself and an opportunity to meet new people and gain new experiences.

See it as a way to stay out of The Land of the Lost.

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