From the category archives:

Books I Love

Without a Doubt, The Next Book You Should Read Is…

by joi on August 23, 2010

The Instant Millionaire: A Tale of Wisdom and Wealth should absolutely be the next book you read. In fact, if you read only one (non-human-authored) book this year, I encourage you to choose The Instant Millionaire by Mark Fisher.

(Of course, then I’d encourage you to read the rest of the books I recommend on Self Help Daily – one by one.  After all, books can encourage, motivate, enlighten, and inspire.  Who wants to miss out on any of that?)

My great love of books and my eagerness to publish book reviews – recommending the best of the best to my friends (that would be you) – often creates a bit of a quandary for me.  I read so many great books that sometimes I fear that truly outstanding ones (such as The Instant Millionaire) will get lost in the masses.  There are times I wonder if each book I recommend will be able to stand on its own two brilliant feet.

However, I saw something the other day that alleviated this book worm’s fears:  A Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval.  They’ve given out gazillions of these honors – the total surpasses even the number of books I’ve read… this year, anyway.  Yet each one of their recommendations more than stands on its own two feet, it stands tall.

Which is my fervent hopes for the books I recommend.  As I often remind you, I don’t recommend each book I read.  Remember the song by Salt & Pepa, Push It.  The great voice at the first of the song says, “Now wait a minute, y’all. This dance ain’t for everybody. Only the sexy people. So all you fly mothers, get out there and dance.  Dance I say.”

In an equally dramatic voice, that’s what I say to my very, very favorite books – aka the ones that blow my socks off.  So here is my review for one such book.  A fly mother, to be sure.

The Instant Millionaire: A Tale of Wisdom and Wealth by Mark Fisher is a highly unique book. It is exactly as the title suggests:  A tale.  A fictional story – as in colorful characters, a plot, unexpected twists, drama, humor, and the whole shebang.  However, the lessons to be taken away from the entertaining story are more than worth the time and money you invest in them.  You’re apt to learn as much, or more, from this book than any book you’ve read in a very long time.

This book has the potential to change your life in ways you never imagined. One of the main reasons is that it reminds you just how important your thoughts are.  Your thoughts build your world or they tear it down.  In this remarkable little talk, Mark Fisher does a beautiful job of illustrating the difference between constructive thoughts and destructive thoughts.

Below are the 3 main reasons I’m so excited about The Instant Millionaire.  These, added to the fact that the book reads fast (although I promise you that you’ll want to read it through several times) AND meets my much-ballyhooed “Treadmill Criteria,” meaning I was able to hold the book and read it as I worked out on the treadmill.   You know the drill, bonus points are awarded to books that allow me this luxury.

  1. The Instant Millionaire opens up a door that leads to a new way of thinking. Not only are you challenged to look at the world and everything in it in a different light when it comes to money, you’re challenged to do so in other areas as well.  In reality, everything in life is a matter of attitude.
  2. The Instant Millionaire opens up a gate that leads to a new view of life. You will realize that the world, as you know it, was created by YOU.  Your every thought has led to your every action, which ultimately have led you to the world that you currently know.  When your mind wraps itself firmly around this truth… look out!  You’ll learn how to harness your thoughts and make them work for you.
  3. The Instant Millionaire opens up a world where you’re only limited by the limits you set yourself. Everything that happens to us is a product of our thoughts.  Positive affirmations spring from this powerful reality.  Life is, to a very real extent, exactly how you see it.  What’s more, we tend to get from life what we expect from it.

Are you as struck by that truth as I am?  We tend to get from life what we expect from it. What do you say, is it time to raise the bar high or what?!  I promise you this:  The Instant Millionaire is the first step in raising this bar, higher than you ever dared to before.

“All the events in your life are a mirror image of your thoughts.” - The Instant Millionaire, Page 46

The Instant Millionaire: A Tale of Wisdom and Wealth contains the single most profound example of the power of words I’ve ever read. It’s something that happens to the main character in Chapter 8 – something that makes you stop and truly think.  You’re along for the ride with him and you FEEL what he’s going through.  Suffice to say it’s more than an AHA moment, it’s an Oh Wow moment.  I won’t give it away here because…

  1. I want you to read the entire book.
  2. It’ll have more of an impact if you meet it head on.

It’s not an overstatement to say that it’s one of the most powerful illustrations regarding the power of words I’ve ever seen. It’s pretty much THE illustration that all of us who are huge believers in positive affirmations have been looking for our entire lives.  It’s proof, positive, that words (whether they’re the ones we say to ourselves or words others say to us) carry far more weight that we give them credit for.

In most cases reasoning and logic become roadblocks in the way of great achievement, because great things are created only by those who have faith in the powers of the mind. – The Instant Millionaire

The Instant Millionaire: A Tale of Wisdom and Wealth will show you how you have been getting in your own way and, more importantly, it’ll show you how to get out of the way.  I read a GREAT DEAL of books that relate to self help, self improvement, mental fitness, positive affirmations, attracting success, and so forth.  Let’s be honest, I swim in the ocean of these books daily.

Okay. Hourly.

However, this particular little book has stopped me in my tracks and has caused me to dig deep into my own cellar of thoughts.  I honestly wish I could put a copy of this book into everyone’s hands – I feel that it’s that important.

I urge you to go immediately to Amazon (by clicking the following link) and order your copy of this outstanding book.  It’s only 121 pages and, as I’ve said, it reads very fast.  I believe most people could read this book in the time it takes them to read the newspaper.  However, when you put the newspaper down, you aren’t any better off for having read it.   When you put The Instant Millionaire: A Tale of Wisdom and Wealth down, you will have taken the first giant step to raising the bar higher.  What’s more you’ll have the tools, keys, affirmations, and knowledge you’ll need to sail right over the bar with room to spare.

So all you fly mothers, get out there and soar.  Soar I say.

Children Explain Why They’re Happier Than Adults

by joi on August 4, 2010

In the December 2009 issue of SUCCESS Magazine, there was a great article called “Child’s Play: Learn to think like a kid again – and unlock your hidden potential.”  (Click the link to read Chelsea Greenwood’s excellent article online).

The magazine put together an adorable little panel of children who answered the question “Why are children happier than adults?”  Below are their priceless… and, quite frankly, thought provoking answers and insights:

“Cause kids haven’t forgotten how to have fun.” – Caitlyn, age 5

“Maybe because we get to play outside and have recess, but grownups have to stay inside buildings.” – Audrey, age 7

“Because mommy and daddy take me to the park.” – Alexandra, age 4

“They get to eat ice cream and go into little spaces.” – Rob, age 6

“Because we finger paint.” – Aidan Rhea, age 4

“Because kids get to play more and do more fun things.” – Daniel, age 6

“Kids are happier than grownups because they have more energy.  Kids are more excited about everything.” – Sarah, age 8

Well, there you have it, straight from the mouth of babes.  We need to have fun, get more excited, and… best of all… eat more ice cream.  Thanks Rob!

The Skinny on Time Management by Jim Randel: Another Must Read Skinny Book

by joi on July 12, 2010

As I’ve said before on Self Help Daily and Out of Bounds, I’m hooked on The Skinny On books by Jim Randel. They’re extremely fun to read, they look colorful and wickedly handsome on your desk and shelves, the illustrations leave you smiling inside-out, and they’re absolutely packed with great information, advice and tips.

The most recent Skinny book I’ve read is The Skinny on Time Management: How to Maximize Your 24-Hour Gift.

“Time Management.”

The phrase, alone, conjures up a host of reactions, doesn’t it?  From “Time Management? Is there really such a beast?” to “Time management? Where do I get me some of that?!” -  and every reaction in between, one thing’s for sure, you hardly ever hear anyone say,”I’m an expert at time management.  In fact, I think there are too many hours in the day…”

If anyone ever did say that, I’d be tempted to kick them in the shin.  The warning has been issued.

The Skinny on Time Management: How to Maximize Your 24-Hour Gift by Jim Randel is presented in a way that can actually be read in one hour. There’s little doubt in my mind that this is true. I, however, am not a good example. I enjoyed my advance copy (sent to review on Self Help Daily) in the front yard one evening – between a bird feeding station and flower garden. I kept taking time to reflect on what I’d read by staring at butterflies, hummingbirds, golden finches, and the like.

When I read, I like to mentally digest each nugget of information and each Jim Randel book is packed with golden nuggets. I also keep a notebook and pen nearby to jot down notes or ideas as they come to me. A few times I was so furiously taking notes that the butterflies and birds were watching me.

The hurrier I go, the more I fall behind. – Anonymous

As I always state in my book reviews, it’s especially hard to give a book review for a book (or series of books) that blow me straight away. If I”m lukewarm on a book or simply like it, it’s easy – I just say so. I give the link, I pull out a quote or two and that’s that. If I don’t like the book, it’s even easier – I pretend the whole thing never happened and forget that the book and I ever met…. as in zero review. Zero mention.

Well, you can’t mention something that never happened.

However, when it’s a book that I’d dearly love to see all of you read, it’s a bit of a dilemma. How can I stress upon you the magnificence of a book without giving away key points, ideas, and advice from the book? I’ve read some book reviews that pretty much give away the entire heart of a book – to me, as a book lover extraordinaire, that’s almost a criminal act. The true beauty of a book lies in the nuggets that are experienced, first-hand, by the reader.

Someone once suggested that I pluck out one key element and present it. While I use this approach most of the time, I do so with hesitation – after all, what if every book reviewer plucked out a different element? Then the precious book would be all but given away online!

Nothing worse than a worry-wart-book-worm.

Time is the coin of life. Only you can determine how it will be spent. – Carl Sandburg

If time management is a concern for you, your solution is one click away. In The Skinny on Time Management: How to Maximize Your 24-Hour Gift, Jim Randel has done all of the work for us. He has researched the topic at great length – reading the giants in the field of time management. He then brilliantly presents what he has uncovered in an entertaining yet highly informative presentation.

You’ll find tips, advice, quotes, recommendations, and simple ideas to help you get the most from your 24 hours.

I was delighted to read that Jim Randel is an advocate of to do lists – I live by my to do lists! However, the author takes to do lists to a whole new level of productivity with a few simple tactics that make all the difference. I’ve already implemented a few of the tips I picked up from The Skinny on Time Management: How to Maximize Your 24-Hour Gift and I’ve been extremely impressed.

I have, as you may know, many blogs and websites. With all the other hats I wear offline (mother, wife, avid cook, bird watcher, baseball fanatic… come on Cardinals…. movie addict, gardener…), this leaves me without a lot of leeway in the amount of time I have to work with each day. Time management has always been a huge issue with me.

In fact, when the e-mail came through, asking if I’d be interested in an advance copy of this book to review, I was having one of “those” days and couldn’t help laughing at the irony. A lot of us laugh when we’re about to completely crack.

I have been using the tactics and ideas from The Skinny on Time Management: How to Maximize Your 24-Hour Gift for nearly a week and am blown away with the impact it has had.

I have found myself able to accomplish more – and one of the main reasons can be attributed to what Jim Randel advises to do with one’s to do list…. a little classification tweak that has made a world of difference for me.

And I believe it will for you as well.

For less than what you’d pay to eat out, you can buy a book that can lead you to being able to afford more meals out.

The Skinny on Time Management:

  • Learn how to improve your memory with 10 outstanding tips.
  • Learn how improving your memory will improve your time management.
  • Learn the importance of To Do lists.
  • Learn how to make your To Do list work for you like never before.
  • Using your hours to maximum effectiveness.
  • What INERTIA is and the evil role it plays.
  • Organization tips and strategies.
  • A link to a fun, online self-assessment test to determine how well you manage your time.
  • How to determine how you are budgeting your time currently.
  • Habits, quadrants, and sequences… oh my!
  • Techniques for time management.
  • You’ll learn how to Live on 24 Hours a Day.

You simply will not find more delightful books than those written by Jim Randel in The Skinny On series.  Come on, you know me!  I’m the person book worms look up to.  I read a great deal of books and am familiar with what’s out there.  The Skinny On books can’t be topped.

I strongly urge you to grab a copy of The Skinny On Time Management today.  Then, I further urge you to grab copies of the rest in the Skinny On series.

I resolve to live with all my might while I do live. I resolve never to lose one moment of time and to improve my use of time in the most profitable way I possibly can. I resolve never to do anything I wouldn’t do, if it were the last hour of my life. – Jonathan Edwards

To order your copy today, go to The Skinny on Time Management: How to Maximize Your 24-Hour Gift – it’ll rank up there with being one of the smartest things you did this year.

More quotes about Time and Time Management.

Choices as Viewed by Max Lucado

by joi on July 3, 2010

I choose patience . . .

I will overlook the inconveniences of the world. Instead of cursing the one who takes my place, I’ll invite him to do so. Rather than complain that the wait is too long, I will thank God for a moment to pray. Instead of clinching my fist at new assignments, I will face them with joy and courage.

I choose kindness . . .

I will be kind to the poor, for they are alone. Kind to the rich, for they are afraid. And kind to the unkind, for such is how God has treated me.

I choose goodness . . .

I will go without a dollar before I take a dishonest one. I will be overlooked before I will boast. I will confess before I will accuse. I choose goodness.

I choose faithfulness . . .

Today I will keep my promises. My debtors will not regret their trust. My associates will not question my word. My wife will not question my love. And my children will never fear that their father will not come home.

I choose gentleness . . .

Nothing is won by force. I choose to be gentle. If I raise my voice may it be only in praise. If I clench my fist, may it be only in prayer. If I make a demand, may it be only of myself.

The above passage, one of the most beautiful and powerful passages ever written by a human hand, is from When God Whispers Your  Name by one of the greatest authors of all time, Max Lucado.  Mr. Lucado eloquently points out the importance of the choices we make.

The choices we make… daily…. hourly… define who we become.  In the end, they “identify” us to everyone around us.  We make the choice, and then the choice makes us.

No choice is so small that it shouldn’t warrant careful thought.  Very careful thought. One of the reasons for this is that we are – and always have been – creatures of habit.  In the morning, my husband or I, one, (depending on which climbed out of bed first and which one tried to steal 5 more minutes of shut eye) walk directly to the coffee pot and turn it on.  As the beautiful sound of coffee being created and the intoxicating aroma of said production fills the kitchen, we walk to the windows and open the blinds – letting the sunshine in as we watch the birds at the bird feeders.

All of this is done almost on auto pilot.  Our morning habits became so ROUTINE that they can almost carry themselves out without us.  Truth be told, we probably just get in the way.

Our morning habits aren’t unlike any other habits because that’s what habits do – they become ROUTINE.  They become FIXED.  They’re like permanent tattoos inked onto our lives.

Now tell me they aren’t worth careful thought and consideration.

If habits are going to become a permanent fixture in our life, shouldn’t we hold them accountable?  Shouldn’t we demand that our habits be the type of habits that will make us better people.  Smarter people.  More successful people. More giving people.  People funner to be around.  People who make the world a better place….

Spend a little time thinking about your own choices.  What habits are these choices creating and what impact are they having on your life? Your relationships? Your health? Your happiness?  Your future?

Your legacy?

Go back to the top of this post and re-read Max Lucado’s beautiful words.  How do your choices measure up?   If they fall short, congratulations…. you’re human!  However, you’re an intelligent human (after all, you’re on Self Help Daily – you’re top of  the line) and you realize that it’s never too late to break a bad habit and it’s never too soon to pick up a good one.  It’s always the right time to take a closer look at the choices you make.

Get in touch with your choices and be mindful of future choices.  They’re dictating your life – choose them wisely.

Also See Max Lucado Quotes

Relationship Adivce: Realize You’re on the Same Side

by joi on June 29, 2010

Interview continued from John E. Welshon’5 Tips for Healing a Difficult Relationship:

Q: Recently we have seen celebrities and political figures run amok in the manners department.  Where do manners fit in with the practice of being mindful?

A:  Well, the practice of being “mindful” suggests living most of your life in a state of meditation, or meditative awareness.  It is an integral part of our quest for inner peace. And inner peace ultimately translates into outer peace.  In fact, there is no way to argue your way to peace in relationships, and no way to fight your way into peace in the external environment.  you know, insulting another human being, or acting in a way that diminishes their value is not generally a good way to heal a relationship, or to improve the world.  As Gandhi said, you must be the change you’re looking to see in the world.  Don’t be so busy telling everybody else how to act – just see to it that you are acting in a manner that is most healing to relationships and to the world.

Now that brings us to the situation of our culture.  We have become incredibly disconnected and narcissistic.  So many people in the culture have gotten the idea that the only way to be safe and happy is to be emotionally disconnected – to think, essentially, that the world revolves around “me”, that “I” am all that matters.  Have you ever noticed, for instance, that when someone is going to cut you off in traffic, or in the grocery store, they won’t look in your eyes?  Because if we really look in each other’s eyes, our whole game of disconnection is over.  If we really look, we see another being just like us in another body.  We get a glimpse of our soul – our eternal, unbreakable connection.  So if we want to feel free to be rude and self-centered, we have to keep up our sense of disconnection.  Otherwise, we just can’t do it.

It turns out that the practice of good manners is not just some uptight, outdated, Emily Post system of etiquette for girls who went to “finishing school.”  If you really examine “good manners,” they are practices aimed at cultivating the awareness that there is someone in the world besides “me,” and that the other people in the world have an equal right to be acknowledged, to be valued, to be given opportunities, to be respected.  If you are endeavoring to create a meditative awareness in your life,  practicing good manners will help you.  Because meditation is simply paying attention to what is happening in the moment.  It is about connecting fully with your experience of life in this moment.  And the same is true of manners.  So if your experience of life in this moment includes someone who is waiting for the same parking space you want, you simply acknowledge that and move on to find another parking space.  That kind of consideration and awareness of others not only enhances your moment-to-moment awareness, but it simultaneously connects you to other human beings in a way that becomes very nurturing and nourishing to your soul.  When you practice good manners, suddenly you feel less alone in the world.

As a culture, unfortunately, we have become increasingly tolerant of rudeness.  In fact, we have turned rudeness – and its eventual counterpart, violence – into entertainment.  Rudeness and violence have become acceptable behavior because the news media, and the entertainment industry feed us a steady diet of it.  It causes our youth to idolize and want to emulate some of the most self-absorbed people in the culture.  The problem with that is that self-absorption can never lead to happiness.  In fact, it leads in the opposite direction.  Our cultural values are so askew that our children wind up worshiping and wanting to emulate some of the most unhappy people in the culture.  Isn’t that bizarre?

The current situation in our government, in television journalism and in political commentary is really quite tragic.  When conservatives and liberals demonize each other, and refuse to engage in meaningful, civil, rational dialogue, both sides just keep getting angrier and angrier, louder and more irrational, and less and less inclined to work together for the benefit of the country.  There is little inclination to want to compromise, and come to a consensus because each side has decided that the other’s ideas are so repugnant and wrong that they shouldn’t even dialogue in a civil fashion.  I read a survey about a year ago in which conservatives were asked to define liberals, and liberals were asked to define conservatives.  The study showed that over eighty-five percent of the respondents on both sides used the word “evil” to characterize the other. Now when you start from that vantage point, where do you go in terms of working together for the common good?

John E. Welshon is the author of One Soul, One Love, One Heart: The Sacred Path to Healing All Relationships.

I love several things about the author’s answer. For one thing, how right he is: People are becoming more and more self-absorbed as they model themselves after some of the most self-centered, self-obsessed people the world has ever seen.  If you want your relationships to be all that they can be, putting yourself first, middle, and last is the worst move you can make.

I’m blown away by the fact that conservatives and liberals described one another as “evil.”  While it makes me kind of sad all over, it’s not surprising.  After all, one camp blamed President Bush for everything that went wrong, including natural disasters – and the other camp suggested Barack Obama was the anti-Christ.

Relationships have to be built – constructed, even.  Yet so many people seem to be only interested in tearing the other person down.  You can’t build something worthwhile if you spend so much time and energy trying to tear something down.

Common sense? Definitely.  Yet it’s something few… very, very few… people actually “get.”

John E. Welshon’5 Tips for Healing a Difficult Relationship

by joi on June 28, 2010

I get a great number of requests for relationship-related articles and book reviews for books written by relationship experts.  In a disturbing trend, it seems that these requests are growing.  I recently wrote a post dealing with relationships – and the feedback was tremendous.

On my websites, I don’t want to write about what I want to write about, I want to write about what my readers want to read about!  So, to that end, I’m going to devote this entire week to an interview with a relationship expert and author, John E. Welshon.   Each day will feature a great answer he provides to a basic relationship question.   I’ll also include excerpts from his recent book, One Soul, One Love, One Heart: The Sacred Path to Healing All Relationships as well as my own personal thoughts, experiences, and reflections.

Even our daily quotes will have relationships on their mind!

Dealing with Difficult Relationships

How do we deal with difficult relationships?  How do we mend broken relationships? Can a marriage be saved when it seems all hope is lost? Can bad relationships with siblings be mended?

In One Soul, One Love, One Heart, John E. Welshon shows how any, and all, of our relationships can be mended (if they’re broken, breaking, or shattered) and strengthened (even if they’re nowhere near breaking – what better time to strengthen them, right?!)

As you read his thoughts over the coming days, think about your own relationships – at home and at work.  DO NOT make the mistake that most people make when reading relationship advice:  They read along, thinking, “Wow, she really needs to do this…”  or “Yeah, that’s him – that’s him all over the place!”  Do that and you miss the boat entirely.

Read.  Relate. Respond.

Take the words to heart – your heart, that is.  You’re seeking advice for ways to fix the relationship, heal what has been broken, and head into a fresh, beautiful new direction.  Let go of blame, let go of fault-finding, and put your pointing fingers down.  Your desire to be HAPPY should be greater than your desire to be RIGHT.

Plenty of RIGHT people find themselves alone.  Right?  Absolutely.  But still alone.

Below is the first question along with John E. Welshon’s wonderful answer.  Remember, you don’t have to be involved in any difficult or strained relationships to benefit from his advice, and this advice is just as golden for non-romantic relationships (children, siblings, co-workers, friends, neighbors…) as it is for romantic relationships.

Q: What are 5 tips that can be put into immediate practice to begin healing difficult relationships?

A: Well, let’s start with the most difficult first. That would be to do whatever you can to let go of your expectation that the person you’re having difficulty with should be different than they are. Now, of course, that doesn’t mean tolerating abusive, dishonest, or violent behavior. It just means standing back from the situation and taking the perspective that this other being – no matter how difficult they seem – is just being who they are at the moment. The are just working through their own confusions and difficulties. And – if it’s not too uncomfortable a concept – you might try to accept that they are just the way God created them – with all their blemishes. And you are just the way God created you – with all of your blemishes. So don’t take the other person’s difficult personality personally.

The second is to resolve that you won’t participate in making the situation worse. That is to say, in most difficult relationships each person knows how to push the other’s emotional buttons. Each knows what irritates the other, and the two people have usually become enmeshed in a painful dance in which – rather than seeking healing – they are going toward making each other angry, and blaming each other for all the problems that exist. So you – personally – resolve to not make the situation worse by deciding to step back from emotionally charged situations, and making a commitment not to use profanity and accusatory language.

The third is to learn to actually – actively – listen to another human being. That is something few people understand in this culture. But you have to set ground rules for the communication and you both have to agree to the ground rules. Each, in turn, gets an opportunity to express themselves and be fully “heard” by the other – no interruptions, no corrections, no defensiveness – just an open-hearted attempt to hear and feel exactly what the world looks like and feels like to the other person. It’s really the cultivation of empathy – the ability to stand in someone else’s shoes, the ability to feel their pain. And empathy ultimately leads to compassion. Eventually, rather than asking, “Why is this person such a jerk?,” you begin asking, “Why is this person suffering so much? What is causing them to be mean, unpleasant, or disconnected?” That is an incredibly important step, because the truth of the matter is, it is not natural for any human being to be insensitive or cruel. Insensitivity and cruelty have to be taught. Or, another way to look at it is to say that a human being has to be taught not to be loving, kind, and sensitive… because love, kindness, and sensitivity are aspects of our true nature – and everyone has them, even if those aspects of their being have been nearly extinguished by their upbringing, or cultural training.

The fourth is to share your feelings – your truth – in a manner that seeks to convey what you feel and why you feel it. In both of these interactions, it’s best to try to avoid phrases like, “You always..” or “You never”…. you know, accusatory statements. It’s better to say, “When you do so-and-so, it makes me feel…” whatever it makes you feel.

The fifth is to try to remember that love and peace, and joy are all within you – and they are always within you. You can’t lose them. You can temporarily lose your ability to experience them. And you can temporarily lose your awareness of how to find them. But they exist in a place deep within your awareness that can never be damaged or lost. It is sometimes called the soul, or Buddha nature, or Christ consciousness. There are a thousand names for that place. You just have to know how to find it. It is not something another person can give you or take away from you. It is the essence of who you are – your highest nature. The light of love is always within you just as the sun is always shining at the center of our universe, and the light of love is always shining in the center of your being.

John E. Welshon is the author of One Soul, One Love, One Heart: The Sacred Path to Healing All Relationships.

Book Description
How do we heal our difficult relationships and nurture our healthy ones?

What is their significance in our spiritual life?

In this deeply moving, groundbreaking book, John E. Welshons answers these questions and many more. He shows why the path to real and lasting happiness lies in recognizing that we are all One, and in living in that awareness.

He shows us how to heal our most difficult relationships by transforming them into our greatest spiritual lessons and how to love, forgive, and care for our fellow human beings — even those we find most difficult to love and forgive. With compassion and wisdom, Welshons invites us into a revolutionary new understanding of ourselves, our spiritual life, our world, and all our relationships.

Tomorrow, John E. Welshon will address celebrities and political figures who have lost all touch with manners and decency!

8 Attributes of Great Achievers

by joi on May 18, 2010

If you read even half as much as I do, you fully understand what it’s like to have favorite authors. Those men and women who simply speak to you on a level that others can’t seem to reach. I have quite a few favorite authors:

  • Max Lucado
  • Cameron C. Taylor
  • Dean Koontz
  • Stephen R. Covey
  • Agatha Christie
  • John Grisham

The list goes on – including other authors (fiction, non-fiction, inspirational, cookbooks, etc.), all falling in line behind God, Himself, of course.  Even the greatest authors in the world have peace with that positioning.

One of the books that can always be found in my home office is Cameron C. Taylor’s Does Your Bag Have Holes? Click the link for my review of this very special book. When I heard that Cameron had a new book out, 8 Attributes of Great Achievers, I was all kinds of anxious to get my hands on it. Fortunately, I was sent a copy and devoured it like it was covered in chocolate.

I, like a lot of people, love to read about successful men and women.  Not only are biographical profiles and stories more fascinating than anything even the wildest mind could make up (with a respectful nod toward Mr. Koontz), I realize that if you listen to what successful people have to say – - – really listen – - – you’ll learn from them.  Within their achievements are valuable lessons you’ll never find anywhere else.

Cameron C. Tayor, in 8 Attributes of Great Achievers, has taken some of the most fascinating and successful people to ever live and has given us wonderful insight into what made each one special.  Each of these individuals possessed special qualities, habits, and character traits that set each on his path to success.

“The greater danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it.” – Michelangelo

Last night my husband and I were watching a baseball game (our beloved St. Louis Cardinals). During a commercial, he handed me a USA Today book review for a book he thought I’d be interested in – you know, the kind you read.  I read the review and thought, “Wow, how professionally written.  How eloquent.”  How nice it’d be to be able to sit down and simply type out exactly what you’d like to say about a book and have it read as professionally as the book, itself did.

Alas, I’m many things but professional isn’t one of them.  So, I’ll just have to sum this outstanding book up “Joi style.”

Reading 8 Attributes of Great Achievers was as though Cameron C. Taylor had invited me to a dinner and sat me at the table with himself, Sam Walton, Walt Disney, George Washington, Winston Churchill, Benjamin Franklin, Abraham Lincoln, Orville Wright, Warren Buffett, Mahatma Gandhi, and others.  Large table.

He then introduced me to each giant and allowed each to share with me personal stories and words of motivation.  I wish you’d been there!

Several times, while reading 8 Attributes of Great Achievers, I closed the book simply to process what I’d just read.  After “meeting” Mahatma Gandhi, I closed the book for the entire day.  I simply wasn’t ready to meet anyone else yet – I wanted to spend time alone with everything I’d read from the life of this one remarkable man.

Funny how “remarkable” is usually such a sufficient word.

I have always known Mahatma Gandhi’s story – or, at least, I thought I knew his story.  However, within mere pages, Cameron C. Taylor showed me a side of Mahatma Gandhi that I’d never really seen before.  It, at once, broke my heart and made my hear soar. I was profoundly touched by the words and by Gandhi’s life.

Like I said, “remarkable” is usually so sufficient.

I also saw yet a different side of a man who has always been a personal hero.  A man who had a bulldog tenacity and strength that changed history: Winston Churchill.

As you read the words, from and about, these great men you can’t help but step into their shoes and realize how they must have felt as they trudged along life’s path.  By taking the journey with them, and retracing the most pivotal steps, I literally basked in the motivation, the inspiration, and the education.

I’ll close with a passage from the book.  This is from the Section where the reader spends time with Mahatma Gandhi.

Be the change you want to see in the world. – Gandhi

A mother once brought her child to (Gandhi), asking him to tell the young boy not to eat sugar, because it was not good for his diet or his developing teeth.  Gandhi replied, “I cannot tell him that.  But you may bring him back in a month.”  The mother was frustrated as… she had traveled some distance, and had expected the great leader to support her parenting… Four weeks later she returned, not sure what to expect.  The great Gandhi took the small child’s hand into his own, knelt before him, and tenderly cautioned, “Do not eat sugar my child.  It is not good for you.”  Then he embraced him and returned the boy to his mother.  The mother, grateful but perplexed, queried, “Why didn’t you say that a month ago?”  “Well,” said Gandhi, “a month ago, I was still eating sugar.” Gandhi knew that to effectively lead others he must first lead himself.  Gandhi wrote, “How can I control others if I cannot control myself?” - Page 25

Please head over to Amazon, or Does Your Bag Have Holes.org, to purchase your own copy of this very special book.  I absolutely love it and have instructed everyone in my family to read it.  As soon as they do, I intend to read it again!  I know you’ll love it as much as I do: Order 8 Attributes of Great Achievers and secure your spot at the dinner table with these remarkable men.

Photo Credit: Does Your Bag Have Holes

Thursday Throwback: Look Inside the Husk

by joi on April 22, 2010

Self Help Daily’s Thursday Throwbacks look at great articles, books, quotes, and teachings from the distant past.  Just because these great writings have a little dust on them doesn’t mean they don’t have a great deal to teach us.   In fact, I’ve personally be impacted the most by older writings (certainly including the oldest one of all, the Bible!)  This is why I collect old books and magazines – the inspiring, motivating, and educating lessons waiting inside these books are like gold waiting inside wooden boxes.

I love to take one off the shelf,  find a great place to kick back (coffee nearby, of course) and soak up my lesson.

The following article, written by Dr. Maxwell Maltz – author of “Doctor Pygmallion” – recently accompanied me to our front yard.  I read the beautiful words as a choir of cardinals provided the soundtrack.

Coffee, a great book, a busy bird feeder, and sleeping cats at my feet (too fat, old, and/or lazy to even acknowledge the birds) – the stage was set for one blissful hour.  This article really struck me as something special, so I thought I’d share it with you.

LOOK INSIDE THE HUSK

by Dr. Maxwell Maltz

“And what is a weed? A plant whose virtues have not been discovered.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

When did these splendid words occur to Emerson?  Perhaps one day when the harvest was ready to be gathered home and the bright fields rippled in the wind, wheat for the winter’s bread.  For, ages ago, wheat was thought to be a weed, useless to mankind.

Perhaps on that day, looking at the ripe bronze fields, Emerson was returning from a visit to his friend the teacher Bronson Alcott – that tireless, undefeatable, unquenchable man – and paused to reflect on Alcott’s stubborn insistence that it was never the “bad boy” or the dullard who was to blame but those who lacked the patience and the care to probe beneath the surface for what was good, however unpromising or unfriendly the surface might be.  There were no “weeds” in Bronson Alcott’s schoolroom.

So many times, in clinic and hospital ward, have I seen the apparently hopeless misfit transformed into a hopeful and helpful person – a giver, not a taker – by the simplest display of interest and belief in him.  It always makes me wonder how many good citizens, creators and builders, and contributors to our common health as a nation, have been lost because someone, somewhere, was misled by the husk and did not see the golden grain within.

I suppose it comes down to this:  Our first “must” for everyday should be to pause before passing judgment, remembering that the apparently useless weed in the dirt of the roadside, with care and cultivation, provide tomorrow’s bread.  - Dr. Maxwell Maltz

Jillian Michaels On and In May’s Success Magazine

by joi on April 9, 2010

There are certain things that I love so much that I can’t even imagine life without them…

  • Favorite restaurants (Applebee’s, Ninki’s Japanese Steakhouse in Owensboro, Kentucky, Olive Garden, Cracker Barrel…)
  • Favorite magazines (SUCCESS Magazine, Taste Of Home, Psychology Today,Woman’s World…)
  • Favorite authors (Max Lucado, Dan Koontz, Dr. Oz, Grenville Kleiser…)
  • Favorite tv shows (The Biggest Loser, Survivor, LOST, The Amazing Race, the Food Network…yes, the entire network..)
  • The 4 6 food groups (vegetables, fruit, dairy, meats, chocolate, and coffee )

Recently, I did a double take when a few of these lovelies intersected:  I pulled my SUCCESS magazine out of the mailbox and badabing, Jillian Michaels’ beautiful smile greeted me from the cover.

If, like me, you’re a huge Jillian Michaels fan, you’ll want to grab this issue right away.  The article inside, “Tough Love,” gives you insight into the Holy Terror that paces back and forth in the gym looking for someone’s a$$ to land on.  A favorite part of the show for me is when she gets that spark in her eye when she sees a place to land.

Priceless.

I don’t allow people to be victims, because if they’re victims, they’re not in control of their own destiny.  – Jillian Michaels

In the article, Jillian and her business partner (Giancarlo Chersich) discuss Jillian’s new reality show that will air this summer on NBC, “Losing It.” There’s no way I’ll miss a single episode.  In Losing It, she’ll spend a week living with an American family – identifying and treating their unhealthy habits.  In the interview, she also discusses why she cares so deeply for her contestants, what makes her tick, and what advice she has for people who are trying to achieve their own personal goals. The amazing thing is, her advice is spot on whether your goals are centered around the scale or not. In fact, Jillian has a personal development book coming out next year, “Unlimited: How to Build an Exceptional Life.” I look forward to it!

It’s a great, great article and you won’t want to miss a single word.

Also in this issue of SUCCESS (as if Jillian Michaels isn’t enough):

  • A really good article on Decision Making by best-selling author John C. Maxwell
  • A clever article on using reality shows to spark family conversations (some of our best discussions stem from tv shows – whether they’re debates over whether or not Boston Rob should have been voted off of Survivor or which contestant will lose the most weight on Loser)
  • An article about stress by Drs. Oz and Roizen – great tips
  • A profile and interview with Paul Newman’s daughter Nell Newman (she’s a lovely combination of Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward’s features – one could do a heck of a lot worse than that!)
  • Much, much more!

As I was reading through this issue of SUCCESS, I realized one of the things that makes this magazine one of my favorites:  It’s always relevant.

Visit Success Magazine online and be sure to grab the newest issue.

I also loved the following quote by Robin Williams, featured in a section about being yourself:  “You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t’ lose it.”

Indeed!

Books and DVDs by Jillian Michaels:

A Really Cool and Simple Self Help Exercise

by joi on March 26, 2010

I’ve mentioned several times that I’ve fallen in love with a new type of “book feature” – books that allow me to comfortably read them while I’m on the treadmill have a very special place in my heart. When they’re just the right size and pliable, and the font is large enough to read at arm’s length and (come on let’s be honest!) they’re interesting enough to keep me in place for at least 30 mintues, I’ve made a paper friend for life.

I just finished such a book, WOW: A Handbook for Living. I want to share one particularly interesting page from the book that really made me think. I’ve shared it with a few of my daughters and it has tickled their brain cells as well.

The authors, Zen Ohashi and Zono Kurazono, have filled the book with beautiful, random photography as well as outstanding advice and… well, brain cell ticklers. I’ve gotten a lot out of many of them, but I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t appreciate me giving everything away in one post! I will, however, share one in particular.

If you want to improve your abilities such as listening, love, enthusiasm, expression, rate yourself on a scale of one to ten. – Page 60

  1. Rate the ability on a scale of one to ten, ten being the best you’ve been able to perform up to this point in time, one being the worst you’ve ever done.  Do this on a daily basis.
  2. To raise your ability just one point, think of what you have to do to improve.
  3. Try it.  – WOW: A Handbook for Living – Page 62

After reading this particular page, I folded the book and placed it on the front of my treadmill – then I just finished my physical exercise as I thought about this mental exercise.  This is really excellent advice.  Think of the different areas this advice could be utilized in:

  • Personal. Rate your relationships with the people you love.  On a scale of 1-10, how close are you? What could YOU do (don’t worry about them right now) to move UP the scale.  Do you criticize or “push” them too hard?  If so, laying off and offering more support, praise, and back pats would certainly be good for an upward swing.
  • Home. Rate your living conditions.  Have your closets gotten out of control (Shhh, don’t judge me.), are your bookcases haggard?  Do you need more furniture with organization on its mind?! Take an honest assessment and, again, come up with what will get you moving in the right direction.
  • How about money? How would you currently rate your finances?  Do you have as much money in the bank as you want or need?  If not, come up with a plan to either make more or spend less.
  • Your Self Image. Without being unnecessarily cruel or chippy, how do you rate your self image right now?  Packing around a few extra pounds that you aren’t terribly thrilled with?  Maybe your hairstyle has worn out its welcome. Unhappy with your wardrobe? Whatever your pet peeves are, keeping them as pet peeves isn’t going to do anything for you.  Rate the different areas, then come up with a plan to move on up to a happier place on the number line.
  • Your Self Confidence.  Are you comfortable speaking on a number of different subjects? If not, read more.  Stretch your mind and stretch your horizons.

Push your limits and push your way up the number line.  Don’t stop until you’re rocking a #11 in every category.  Think it’s not possible?  All I have to say to that is, Gambaru!

In addition to the rating exercise, I highly recommend the following:

  1. Daily exercise!  Not only is it the best thing you can do for your physical health, it’s golden for your mental health.  You’ll feel so much better if you simply MAKE time to get at least 30 minutes of activity at least 5 days a week.  As an added bonus, while you’re walking or working out, you’ll come up with some of your best ideas and will be able to do more creative thinking than ever before.  For reasons that a doctor could explain far better than I can, exercising sets the stage for clearer thinking and creative ideas.  I’m completely hooked on working out problems and ideas on the treadmill or while walking outdoors (assuming it ever warms up again!)
  2. WOW: A Handbook for Living.  This is a beautifully written and illustrated book that will stimulate your thoughts as it inspires and motivates you to live your life out loud.  This one’s a real winner, and so are you.

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