From the category archives:

Helping Children

While I was making an outstanding Peanut Butter Sheet Cake (I’ll have the recipe up on my food blog today – trust me, you’ll want this one in the worst way) yesterday, my mind went on one of its famous wandering expeditions.  I found myself deliberating in a lot of different neighborhoods:

  • A movie my husband and I saw Friday – SALT.  It stars my favorite actress, Angelina Jolie, so naturally we saw it on opening night.  Awesome movie! I debated whether or not I liked it as well as or better than Mr. and Mrs. Smith and Wanted.  I decided that SALT was one of her 2 best movies to date.  With that dilemma solved, the brain headed off in a different direction.
  • Why can’t rice cakes have a gazillion calories and cake, cookies, pies, fudge, etc have virtually nil.  Why can’t it be a world where Bob Harper and Jillian Michaels say, “Calories in… Calories out… Eat all the peanut butter fudge and cheesecake you want, but if you even touch a rice cake – I’ll know and I’ll know.  I’ll yell. You’ll cry.”
  • Why do pets ever have to die? One of my outside cats died a few days ago.  Fortunately my youngest daughter’s boyfriend buried him for me.  Pets dying just seems so unnecessary and cruel.  Why can’t our pets just live and live and live…  This little guy (“Scratch”) was one of the sweetest-natured cats we’ve ever had. I’d just look at him and he’d start purring.  When I petted him or talked baby talk to him (yes, I’m one of those cat lovers), forget about it – his body would nearly explode with purring.  Love him muchly. Miss him terribly.
  • Why are the St. Louis Cardinals shopping around for more pitchers when pitching isn’t our weakness this year.  Wev’e got 3 of the best starting pitchers in all of baseball, a guy in the bullpen (Motte) that’s scary good, and a few other relievers who’d be equally scary good if they got more work – but with starting pitchers like Adam Wainwright, Chris Carpenter, and Jamie Garcia – sometimes they’re like Maytag repairmen out there.

My final thoughts were centered around people who seemingly love to help others.  Not just the ones who come through for others, but the ones who come through and don’t resent it.  A lot about Rusty ( he’s daughter #3′s boyfriend) reminds me of my husband. They’re hard workers with great senses of humor.  They had to overcome difficult childhoods and don’t seem to harbor the slightest bit of bitterness.

Rusty also has a trait that reminds me of my mom (and a trait I certainly hope I possess).  He is always incredibly willing to do whatever he can to help other people.  Not just willing – downright happy about it!  My mom was the same way.  She’d do everything in her means – and often beyond her means – to help someone… anyone… who needed it.  Smiled the whole time doing it.  The only thing she seemed sorry about or seemed to regret was that she couldn’t do more.   She never complained.  In addition to working full-time in the school system, she worked with and volunteered for the local Red Cross, the Lion’s Club, and the Salvation Army.  I remember countless times she’d come home and tell me about the children she’d helped during the day.  She didn’t name names, of course, but I heard all about the underprivileged  little girls and boys who she’d taken to doctors, optometrists, dentists, etc.  She’d tell how excited they were when she took them to McDonald’s, Dairy Queen, or Wendy’s.

Sometimes these precious little babies – born without a plastic spoon let alone a silver spoon – would mention to her that they didn’t have this or they wish they had that.  If these things were within her reach, they soon had just what they needed – whether it was a pair of gloves, a notebook, a backpack, rain boots, pajamas, etc.

She didn’t go to any agency for the funds.  She went to her own purse.  Being able to help others who needed it made her smile more than just about anything.  She only frowned and only complained when she couldn’t do more.

She was even more generous to her family.  All of us knew that if we needed anything in the world, she’d be there for us, smiling the whole time.  She was a giver and relished the role.

As I glazed the peanut butter cake, my thoughts finally wrapped themselves up with this:  Our homes, our families, our communities, and our world would all be a lot better off if there were more joyful givers amongst us.  If more people smiled when they helped others – rather than looking around for pats on the back, accolades, or praise.  If, rather than feeling sorry for themselves, more people saved their compassion for others.

My daughter had gotten Rusty out of bed to bury Scratch for me.  He’d just been in bed for a few hours (after working a night shift).  He walked around my yard with me, looking for just the right spot.  He even found a perfect little box and carefully dug a large whole in the merciless heat.

When he was through I began telling him how grateful I was but he stopped me.  He just said, You know I was happy to do it.

And I did know.  I also know something else, I’d never have heard the end of it if I’d attempted to do it myself!

I guess the ambitions of this post are simple:  To make people more aware of what’s going on in the lives of the people around them. Stop worrying so much about how many hours a week you work, how little sleep you got last night, or how “burdened” you believe yourself to be.

Take a good look around. Look at other people’s needs. Ask yourself what you can do to touch the lives of other people.  Of course, if you’re one of those people who resent doing anything for anyone else, you’d be better off watching the grass grow.

The world doesn’t need any more selfish people – it has plenty.  The world needs more selfless people – it hasn’t nearly enough.

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Ever Wonder what your brain craves on the weekend? Find out in the newest article on Out of Bounds.

Can you believe that Father’s Day is just around the proverbial corner?! It seems like I just took down our Christmas tree.

If a father in your life enjoys reading, I have a book to tell you about – one that would make a wonderfully thoughtful gift for Fathers Day: The Modern Dad’s Dilemma: How to Stay Connected with Your Kids in a Rapidly Changing World.

This very timely book helps dad connect (or re-connect) with their children. Written by an author who is, himself, a dad, The Modern Dad’s Dilemma recognizes and addresses the unique challenges facing today’s fathers.

Parents face situations in 2010 that parents in previous years could not have even imagined. Today, peer pressure can lead to far more disastrous circumstances and negative outside influences can, literally, wreck a child. Add in the competition parents face with technology (television, music, games, the internet, cell phones..) and it’s easy to see why the home can, at times, feel like a battleground.

The Modern Dad’s Dilemma: How to Stay Connected with Your Kids in a Rapidly Changing World provides hands-on advice, tips, insight, and even exercises that can help a father break through all of the chaos and develop the sort of relationship that will benefit his children the most.

The author, John Badalament, EdM, is an author, filmmaker, and Harvard-trained educator. He is an internationally recognized speaker on parenting and is the director of the acclaimed PBS documentary All Men are Sons: Exploring the Legacy of Fatherhood. He consults with schools, parent groups, and organizations throughout the world and his private world is shared with his wife and two children in Massachusetts.

The Modern Dad’s Dilemma

More is expected of dads today than ever before. Drawing on his experience working with thousands of dads and families, John Badalament delivers a hands-on approach to meeting the everyday challenges of modern fatherhood.

Told through the stories of a diverse group of fifteen real dads who have attended John Badalament’s pioneering workshops, The Modern Dad’s Dilemma is filled with practical information, road-tested activities, and key skills dads can put to use right away.

Learn to:
* Balance family time with work demands
* Build open communication with your kids, no matter how old they are
* Model a healthy relationship with your children’s mother
* Sort through your own father’s legacy

Whether you’re adding to your Father’s Day gift bag or looking for a great book to read, head over to Amazon and grab a copy of The Modern Dad’s Dilemma: How to Stay Connected with Your Kids in a Rapidly Changing World. You’ll be very glad you did.

I’m a firm believer that you can learn something from every single person you meet – and often even those you don’t meet.  I’m the sort of person who wants to learn something new and/or be inspired and motivated as many times as possible during the day.  Whether I’m reading a favorite magazine, blog posts, Twitter updates, or watching something on television. My “live to learn” antenna is up at all times!

Case in point:  This morning, I was reading a story on one of my favorite websites – Prevention.com.   The story profiled 5 finalists in the 2010 Picture of Health competition. 5 finalists – 5 motivating and inspiring hits to the antenna. I’ll hit the highs with these finalists below, so you can be inspired by them as much as I have been.

Paula Bruchhaus (43 – on the far right in the picture above), from Florida, is an elementary school teacher who lost 80 pounds and inspired her students to fall in love with running. “We’re not all going to be super fast or strong, but our goal is simply to improve,” Bruchhaus tells her students. “It is possible to change simply by eating healthy and exercising.” Her kids have run in marathons and over the years have raised $25,000 for charity.

I love that she’s reaching out to kids and to her community. She improved her own life and now has her mind set on improving other’s lives as well.

Dawn Forgione (51 – on the far left in the picture above), also from Florida, has had her fair share of scrapes and bruises, literally. She endured serious injuries, including 40 stitches to her face and knocked-out teeth, after a bad bike spill while training for a 150-mile charity ride. That was apparently one of her better days.

She has also faced bouts of cervical dysplasia, endometriosis (which led to multiple surgeries and ultimately a radical hysterectomy), knee surgery, two hip replacements, and breast and skin cancer.

Instead of sitting around feeling sorry for herself, she has been a busy girl! She has helped many organizations through the years, such as the American Cancer Society, the Children’s Cancer Caring Center in Miami, and the March of Dimes. “I love to be a positive role model and show others that a diagnosis is not a death sentence.” Those words just jumped off the screen at me – A diagnosis is not a death sentence. I’d say that she made diagnosis a life sentence! You. Go. Girl.

Linda Goff (42 – second from right in the picture above), from Missouri, once weighed over 300 pounds. She realized that her eating habits were setting a bad example for her kids and her weight wasn’t doing her marriage any favors. She prayed for the courage to take the first step —and it worked. A switch flipped, and by exercising and eating right, she went from a size 26 to 6.

Today, Goff says she feels better than she did at 25. She helps counsel weight loss support groups at the hospital, gym, and church. “I want to let people know that good choices are just like bad ones—they can become lifelong habits too.

There were several things that stood out to me in Linda Goff’s story:

  1. She knew that it would all begin with a first step – the same place everything begins…. step number 1.
  2. Her quote about good choices becoming lifelong habits just like bad ones is a complete and total lesson in itself.  What’s more, it’s as much a self improvement lesson as it is a physical fitness lesson.  Anything we want to change in our lives can be cone by making good choices – then doing it again and again and again until these good choices become good habits.

Kristi Marsh (39 – the young lady in the middle in the picture above), from Massachusetts, found a lump in her breast when she was 35 years old. She was diagnosed with an aggressive kind of breast cancer, but didn’t cave under the pressure.  What’s more, she used the horrifying experience to learn things about her body and to inspire her to make a difference.  “Our bodies try so hard to survive, but we often compromise that with unhealthy choices that increase our exposure to pesticides and pollutants.”

She researched nontoxic products, joined a CSA (community supported agriculture) farm, and even started raising hens in her backyard for organic eggs!  I love that.  Seriously, I want some hens in my yard.  Stat.  My husband never knows exactly what kick I’m going to get on next or what will come out of my head or mouth next.. I hope he braces himself for this one.  I want hens.

Krisit even started an educational organization called Choose Wiser, sharing her tips and advice with local groups. “I hope to educate people about what best fits into their lives so they can make healthy changes.”

Chris Word (52 – Let’s see… I believe he’s second from the left :) ), from California, used his battle with colon cancer as a springboard for a life of service on the behalf of children.My cancer struggle inspired me to help sick children. Motivated by all the child cancer patients he met during his recovery, he decided to start the Lifedriven Foundation, a nonprofit foundation that supports research and treats children battling the disease with trips to Disneyland. How cool is that?!

There is so much about cancer that people have no control over, but we can give a family a moment in time to experience some joy,” Word says.

If I were asked to design Heaven’s lay out (oddly enough, I have not been consulted), there’d be a special place… a very, very, very special place for people who help children.

I love the spirit, the fight, the drive, and the compassion in these individuals.  If you ask me, they have plenty to teach all of us about life and about bouncing back.

When these people were knocked down, they not only got back up, they got back up fighting!   This is the sort of spirit that makes the world a better place.  Think about it.  If everyone took their knocks and used them as inspiration to make the world around them a better place, can you imagine what a world we would live in?  Unfortunately, many people are far too busy whining, moaning, sighing, and feeling sorry for themselves to take the time to reach out to others.

I hope you’ll read the full stories on each of these individuals by vising Prevention’s 2010 Picture of Health Story and Slideshow.  Whether you’re looking to lose 10 pounds, improve the way your family eats, or simply want a inspirational fodder  for your own antenna, these stories will touch your heart… flip a switch in your brain…. and light a fire under your feet.  If that sounds like something that’d be all kinds of cool beans – have at it!

Photo Credit: Prevention.com

The World as Viewed by Mother Teresa

by joi on March 3, 2010

“In these times of development, the whole world runs and is hurried.  But there are some who fall down on the way and have no strength to go ahead.  These are the ones we must care about.” – Mother Teresa

The powerfully beautiful and beautifully powerful quote above is just one of the gems from Mother Teresa found in In the Heart of the World: Thoughts, Stories and Prayers.

Mother Teresa’s name and image will forever be associated with her kindness, gentleness, and compassion.  Her selfless work with the “poorest of the poor” should be an inspiration to all of us.  In the Heart of the World, written by Mother Teresa, is filled with her eloquent wisdom, motivation, and inspirational teachings.  Below are a few more examples.

Be kind in your actions.  Do not think that you are the only one who can do efficient work, work worth showing.  This makes you harsh in your judgment of others who may not have the same talents.  Do your best and trust that others do their best.  And be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength shines.

We too are called to withdraw at certain intervals into deeper silence and aloneness with God, together as a community as well as personally.  To be alone with him – not with our books, thoughts, and memories but completely stripped of everything – to dwell lovingly in his presence, silent, empty, expectant, and motionless.  We cannot find agitation.

If we were more willing to see the good and beautiful things that surround us, we would be able to transform our families.  From there, we would change our next-door neighbors and then others who live in our neighborhood or city.  We would be able to bring peace and love to our world, which hungers so much for these things.

As I read this book, I lost myself in the beauty that was and is Mother Teresa.  Reading her words was so incredibly peaceful and relaxing – yet, at the same time, an unrest crept up inside of me and stirred around.  I realized that there is far more that I can and should do to help others in the world who are far less fortunate.   While on the early pages, I kept thinking, “What the world needs right now is another Mother Teresa.”  But, as I approached the final pages, I thought, “What the world needs right now if for more men and women to start caring more about people and less about possessions.  It needs more hearts that are broken for the suffering of others.  And more people refusing to look the other way.”

We don’t need another Mother Teresa as much as we need to learn from the one we were blessed with.

“I must be willing to give whatever it takes to do good to others.  This requires that I be willing to give until it hurts.  Otherwise, there is no true love in me and I bring injustice, not peace, to those around me.”  – Mother Teresa

The Mother Teresa quotes are from In the Heart of the World: Thoughts, Stories and Prayers

Time for a Reality TV Adjustment

by joi on January 18, 2010

Day Of Anger Poster Print

I’ve noticed a very disturbing, yet escalating trend: People seem to be more disagreeable than ever before.  It seems to me that they’re lashing out with less provocation, disagreeing more readily, and all but refusing to see the other person’s point of view.   I don’t know how people who work with the public on a daily basis stand it.  If it keeps going like this, Wal-Mart greeters will need to arm themselves with mace.

Okay, I’m exaggerating but you get the point.

Frankly, I think part of the blame lies in the the things we watch on television, specifically certain reality shows. The ones that treat fighting, yelling, name-calling, and being obnoxious as something desirable and even entertaining. Is this really what most people are drawn to these days? The Reality shows on MTV are the worst.

My husband and I went to Best Buy a few nights ago and as we were leaving, some kids were standing near the door.  A few young girls were yelling and cussing – really trying to be toughies, yet looking and sounding ridiculous.  The loud f-bombs, the overly dramatic anger, the attempts to seem out of control..  it was obvious that they regularly bowed at the alter of reality television.  I’d rather have my toenails yanked out one by one than to see the average young lady begin to look and sound like these girls.  Instead of looking bright, the future would look (and sound) dim, dark, and dank.

More adults need to pay attention to what their kids are watching – and think twice about what they’re watching, themselves.  I really am sorry if that sounds…. no, I’m not.  I’m not sorry how it sounds – it’s the truth.

Don’t get me wrong, a few of my favorite shows fall under the heading of Reality TV.  I just dare you to get between me and The Biggest Loser or Survivor!  These shows, however, aren’t the ones causing the problems.  The ones that are beginning to spew nastiness out into our culture are the ones that serve absolutely no purpose at all – other than polluting their viewers, especially the ones who are a little weaker emotionally and/or mentally.  They’re the shows that highlight crass behavior, yelling, crudeness, and vulgarity.  They’re the ones that celebrate depravity and tastelessness.

I think everyone needs a refresher course in class, decency, and what it means to have character rather than be a character.

The other day, I was reading a thread of comments under a blog post.  The post was about one of these ridiculous reality shows, one of the newer ones – Heaven help us.  I’ve never seen an episode, nor would I watch one for money – but I have seen  previews.  The most recent preview showed females fighting, screaming, and then being carted off to jail as men stood around laughing.

Wow, so entertaining.  So enriching, educational, and uplifting.

One of the comments said something to the effect, “Remember when America had class?” I have no idea whether or not this was an American who made the comment or not.  Either way, as a proud American, I found the comment to be very depressing.   I’d like to go on record as saying that, as a whole, we do have class.  Most of us still shun this sort of ignorance and we cringe when people act like barbarians in public or private.

Our biggest fault, I suppose, may be the fact that we’ve remained too quiet and too laid back for too long.   I’d l0ve to see a big, beautiful, long overdue movement rise from the heartland of America.  A movement that said we’re tired of what television is doing to our country and its young people.  A movement that said, America has as much class now as it ever did!

Remember, just because you can watch morons on television acting like morons on television and realize that they are abnormal doesn’t mean that a young person is capable of the same separation. Even the most intelligent and mature young person will come away from these types of shows worse than they were beforehand.  Sit down with the young people in your life and watch what they watch with them – if you can stand it.  Ask yourself if there’s anything remotely in this show that will make them a better, stronger, more intelligent individual.  Does the show promote class, character, or tastefulness in any way?

If you think I’m over-reacting, you haven’t seen what’s on television right now.  Sadly, odds are that the young people in your life probably have.  Don’t feel left out, though, given enough time, you’ll  see exactly what they saw.  Through them.  And it won’t be pretty.

The following is a wonderful article from a book from 1947.  The book’s title, Words to Live By, sums up this author’s thoughts perfectly.  They are, indeed, words to live by.   The author, Will Durant, wrote these ten rules for his own grandchildren – but, as you’ll see, many of the rules apply to people of all ages.

Send a list to your own children and/or grandchildren.  For that matter, send it to everyone you know.  Personally, I think the world would be a much better place if every single one of us read through… then lived out… the following grandfatherly advice.

FOR VERY YOUNG PHILOSOPHERS by Will Durant

EDITOR’s NOTE:  Mr. Durant, as everyone knows, is the distinguished author of an impressive list of important books, including the multivolumed The Story of Civilization.  But when we asked him to contribute some thoughts to the “Words to Live By” page, he stepped out of his role as philosopher and historian into that of grandfather.  The advice he gives here was written for his own three grandchildren.

  1. Begin the day with cleanliness.  Keep your bathroom immaculate.
  2. Before leaving your room in the morning put all discarded clothing into a dresser or a closet.
  3. Dress yourself neatly; other people can judge us only by what they see, until they know us well; and their judgments will affect our progress and our happiness.
  4. Enter into the life of the family and the community with good cheer; make little of your troubles, much of your good fortune.
  5. Do not speak while another is speaking.  Discuss, do not dispute.  Absorb and acknowledge whatever truth you can find in opinions different from your own.
  6. Be courteous and considerate to all, especially to those who oppose you.
  7. Reduce to a minimum your reading, hearing, and watching of material intended for immature minds.  The mind is formed by what it takes in.  Don’t be a wastebasket.
  8. Do some studying every day; grow old while learning.
  9. Combine external modesty with internal pride.  Your modesty will make it easier for those around you to bear with you; your internal pride will stir you to shun meanness and sloth.
  10. You will find the Golden Rule the simplest and surest secret of happiness.

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Reduce to a minimum your reading, hearing, and watching of material intended for immature minds.  The mind is formed by what it takes in.  Don’t be a wastebasket. Leave it to a grandfather to beautifully sum up what the rest of us have been trying to convey for two forevers.  I love this!

Toys for Tots Bear

“We make a living through what we get, but we make a life through what we give.” – Winston Churchill

During a Christmas season when all of us are feeling the tightening of the money belt,we have to be careful not to get sidetracked with the wrong kinds of thoughts…. “stinkin’ thinkin’” as it were.  Christmas shouldn’t be a time for worrying, fretting, or stressing over how much we’re able to buy or not buy.  Christmas is a time for celebrating!

Now, having said that, I  completely understand wanting to have the house all decked out in beautiful colors and lights.  I understand wanting to have oodles of cookies, piles of fudge, and jars of homemade candies.  As a doting (there really can be no other word for it) wife and mother, I most certainly understand wanting to buy your husband the best sweaters, your daughters the loveliest lovelies, and your sons the best games.  What’s more, we want them all wrapped in the most gorgeous gift wrapping possible.

Then there’s the bank balance – letting you know, every step of the way, that this year isn’t quite like any other.  At least not one like most of us have ever seen.  Since I can remember, Christmas was always bright, wonderful, and lavish.  As an only child, most Christmases presented me with so many presents I was positively worn out at the end of it all.

However, none of the toys, stuffed animals, bikes, barbie airports, barbie townhouses, dolls (not even the one that tumbled) symbolize Christmas for me.  When I think back over my favorite Christmases, I think of…

  • My MeMe’s divinity – she was paralyzed on one side but could outbake just about anyone!
  • My mom’s peanut butter fudge
  • The year my grandmother set out her Nativity set and gave Mary’s position to a shepherd and put Mary in the back with the sheep.  When I asked her why she wanted to change history, she nearly collapsed in laughter.  I was 10 at the time, but her laugh is still in my mind… and heart.
  • The year my mom broke with tradition and decorated her tree all fru-fru like with mauve bows, angel heads, and baby’s breath.  My very traditional dad snarled at it every time he passed by it.  One night as he happened to be turning off the lights, my mom called from the back of the house, “Turn off the tree lights, we don’t want it catching fire!”  Just then, he flipped the switch back on and winked at me.
  • The first year my husband and I were married – he was in the military and money wasn’t exactly flowing in our direction.  We went to a craft’s store and loaded up on supplies.  Then we went home and, after I baked us some warm chocolate chip cookies – we made gifts for everyone in our family.  They still have, and treasure, them!  We had a blast, too.  I do remember, however, losing my husband a few times during the process when football was on television.  Then, again to be fair, he lost me a few times when UK basketball was on.
  • Watching Christmas specials with our girls when they were little.  These days, if Johnny Depp, Miley Cyrus, or Tyra isn’t in the special – my girls aren’t in the room.  That’s cool with me, my cat Alexa and I watch them anyway!
  • I remember our cat Prissy always climbing the Christmas tree -every single year!  I stopped using breakable ornaments when she was still alive, because I didn’t want her hurting herself. Get this – I didn’t even use the hooks during the Prissy years.  When she hit 20 years, she didn’t get much higher than the bottom branch, but she still gave it a go.  Thankfully, Alexa (a good 10 pounds heavier) is content to lie under the tree and sneak into presents.

The list of memories goes on and on and on, but the remarkable thing is, what I received or didn’t receive is nowhere near the top of the list.  It just didn’t matter.  Laughter did, love did, chocolate did.  And Mary in the field.

If you’re cutting back this year, don’t fret it and don’t sweat it!  In fact, I’d like to make a suggestion:  Take a particular area and do something completely selfless and wonderful instead.  For example:  If you planned on decorating the outside of your house, use the money for Toys for Tots instead.   Go to the website and find out when they’ll be collecting toys in your area, then go straight to the store and buy some fantastic toys to give.  If you do this (for example) in place of lighting up your house – you will have a great deal of money to spend on toys.

Which had you rather light up – your yard or the face of a child in need.  Not even close.

Another suggestion: If your office normally has a huge Christmas party or dinner, suggest this year that each individual brings in a toy for children.  Then, appoint someone to take the collection to Toys for Tots or another agency which is moving Heaven and earth to help children.  If you and I are feeling the pinch this year, for crying out loud (literally) can you imagine the predictament others are in?  The thought of a child not having a present on Christmas makes me want to cry. (In fact, there come the tears now.)

I’m just incredibly afraid that, this year, toys and donations are going to be especially low and there will be many, many children left out.

Please, please, please go to Toys for Tots right now and learn more about your local campaign.

If you make one precious child smile this Christmas – whether you realize it or not, you had a richer Christmas than most could ever hope for.  The smile on a child’s face will warm God’ s heart more than a billion lights.  I suspect it’s the kind of light show angels line up to see!

Toys for Tots

61 Ways to Feel Happier During the Holidays

by joi on November 23, 2009

Christmas ornament

The holidays can be either the happiest time of the year or the saddest.  For those who have reasons to feel sad (lost loved ones, grown children, divorce, a recent break up, loved ones who’ll be away from home on Christmas…), all of the ridiculously happy faces only add to their own unhappiness – Why can’t I feel as happy as everyone else? If you recognize yourself in this scenario, don’t give up hope just yet.  You don’t have to face Thanksgiving and Christmas with a frown on your face or a tear in your eye.

Below are some suggestions for putting the Happy back in Happy Thanksgiving and the Merry back in Merry Christmas.  A lot of them would actually work for any time of the year – after all, the blues aren’t exclusive to the Holiday Season!

  1. Number one for a reason:  Buy and wrap new toys for the different Toys for Children programs in your area. Find the prettiest, brightest Christmas paper (or bags) you can find and let the joy that they’ll bring to underprivileged children fill your heart and soul.  Think about their little faces lighting up and about the fact that they’ll have something to brag about to other kids about when they go back to school.  Blues? What blues?
  2. Go to your local animal shelter and adopt a couple of new babies! It’s just not possible to be miserable when you’re giving a wonderful new life and home to a couple of precious cats or dogs.  Buy them new fluffy beds, bright food and water bowls, and (of course) toys.
  3. If cats or dogs are out of the question for some reason, head off to a local pet store. You’ll find hamsters, guinea pigs, and a host of little cuties looking for love.
  4. Work a puzzle.
  5. Buy a coloring book and crayons and don’t worry about staying inside the lines.  Extra points if you grab one with Santas, Elves, and candy canes.
  6. Make homemade boiled custard.
  7. Go to Starbucks for a special latte of the season.
  8. Take someone who always makes you laugh out to lunch.
  9. Take a ride around town with the radio blaring.  Sing out loud to each and every song.
  10. Watch It’s a Wonderful Life.
  11. Go up to a department store Santa and ask, “So, what do you want for Christmas?”
  12. Watch re-runs of your favorite sitcoms. I Love Lucy, Sanford and Son, Andy Griffith, Roseanne, Friends… If it tickles your funny bone, give it a chance to do so.
  13. Volunteer.
  14. Make taffy.
  15. Bake sugar cookies  and cut them into wonderful different shapes.
  16. If you have a blog, give it a new look. Change the colors, graphics, or whatever.  Mixing things up can be fun.
  17. Check with a local nursing home. See if it’d be okay to give each resident a cute little snowman or Santa. If you’re allowed to do so, deliver each one personally and visit for as long as they’ll have you. I don’t even have to tell you how much this would mean.
  18. Put up a Christmas tree with the gaudiest, most pimped out decorations you can find! (On a safety note, if you have pets, skip the garland and silver icicles.)
  19. Move that body! Pop in an exercise dvd, ride a stationary bike, or clean house with a vengence.  Physical activity releases feel good endorphins that’ll have you back in the fa la la la la in no time.
  20. Go see The Blind Side while it’s in theaters. After that, buy the dvd. Also, read about the family behind the movie.
  21. Make a list of the people and things you are thankful for.
  22. Make a list of the people in your life. Now go back and, for each one, think about one of the times they made you laugh out loud.  In no time at all, you’ll be laughing out loud again.
  23. Make someone’s day. Compliment a loved one, cook their favorite meal, bake their favorite cookies, or write them a heart-felt note telling them how much they light up your world.
  24. Don’t over-expect. Real life is not Little House on the Prairie.  People generally don’t stand around the table singing carols, spew lovely little speeches, or hug out of the blue.  If my family behaved this way I’d think someone had spiked their egg nog. Accept and love your family just the way it is.  Yes, they’re quirky.  Sure, they leave their socks all over the place.  No, they don’t say “Thank you” nearly often enough – but they’re your’s and you love them, quirks and all.  (Besides, if we were to be honest, don’t we own a few quirks ourselves?)  Also, don’t over-expect with yourself.  You are going to flat wear yourself out if you try to bake every recipe in your favorite cookbook and you’ll flat ruin yourself if you try to get everyone all of the presents you want to get them.  Dial down!
  25. Be sure you get enough sunlight. Open up the blinds and let the sunshine in.  It can make a real difference in how you feel.
  26. Did you know that learning something new can lift even the nastiest mood?  Pick a subject that you know very little about and research the heck out of it.  It’ll give your brain a great workout and your spirits will soar.  Learning feels good, pure and simple.
  27. LOL Cats – This website should come with a warning, You Will Become Addicted to the Fun.
  28. Chocolate. I’m not even kidding – eating chocolate is a shortcut to a better mood.
  29. Well, that’s Bananas! Science has proven that eating a banana can make you feel more relaxed.  This fun fruit contains tryptophan, which helps the body manufacture serotonin.  Serotonin is a natural relaxant.  What s more, low levels of serotonin tend to go hand in hand with depression.  Monkeys are on to something here.
  30. Get plenty of rest. Sometimes what we think are “blues” are actually just the “drags.”  During this time of year we actually need MORE rest, yet we tend to get less.
  31. Get as much fresh air as possible.
  32. Eat healthy foods.
  33. Smile even when you’re in the room alone.
  34. Find a church home. Having a church home and family are wonderful blessings – but for the individual who is feeling lonely, they could make all the diffenece in the world.
  35. Research your family’s history. You’ll probably meet some very interesting characters along the way. It’s fun and it’s educational.
  36. Take up crafts. My youngest daughter and I were talking about this recently.  We both want to learn to make jewelry and other crafts, we want a sewing machine, and I want to make a huge doll house and fill it with little furniture and people!  The more we talked about it, the more excited we got.
  37. Re-arrange the furniture in your living room.
  38. Wake up a tired room by giving it a whole new look and vibe. If your bedroom has been green and white since Carter was in the White House, but a bright red (or blue, purple, or orange) new comforter and contrasting pillows.  The happier the colors, the better.
  39. Watch Runaway Bride, starring Julia Roberts.
  40. Buy a new, fun set of dishes.
  41. Sing to your cat.
  42. Write a list of your 10 favorite actors, 10 favorite actresses, 10 favorite movies, and 10 favorite all-time television shows.
  43. Watch the Game Show Network.
  44. Set up a Twitter account and tweet like you mean it.
  45. Eat Ramen Noodles. No scientific claims, here.  They’re just kicky. And good.
  46. Give yourself a facial. You can buy some really cool masks at the store – exfoliate, darling.
  47. Go to the driving range and take it all out on the little golf balls.
  48. Play frisbee.
  49. Make ice cream cones.
  50. Build a Gingerbread House.
  51. Stop thinking about what you don’t have and dwell only on what you do have.
  52. Buy bird feeders and fill them with seed. Your yard will soon be a lot more beautiful with colorful little appreciative birds.
  53. Take up yoga. I love myself some yoga.
  54. Buy your dog a new toy and help her break it in.
  55. Have your nails done.
  56. Learn to play a new card game.
  57. Gather your golf buddies together for a game of poker.
  58. Buy a Pilates dvd and have at it.
  59. Make handmade gifts for your loved ones. They’ll appreciate them more than you’ll ever know, and creating them is incredibly fun.
  60. Chill. Be perfectly still and quiet for 20 minutes each day. It gives life a chance to catch up with you!
  61. If something specific, which is out of your hands, is bothering you – crumble it up. Literally. Write it down on a piece of paper (I wish I had more money, I wish my parents were still alive, I wish my home were bigger, I wish I were smaller…. ).  Now crumble up the piece of paper and throw it away.  This symbolic action is a reminder that somethings just have to be let go of.  Carrying around burdens, resentment, guilt, grief – or any host negative emotions – is akin to taking a big gulp of rat poisoning.   I’m convinced that many people stay miserable simply because it’d take a little effort to be any other way.  They somehow manage to get comfortable in this misery.  Make a vow to never let that happen to you.  When you feel even the slightest tinge of sadness, realize that the next move is up to you.  You can lie down with the blues or kick them out of your bed. You look like a kicker to me!

Remember the holidays are to be enjoyed, not complicated.  Relax and enjoy every single minute and every single person.

It probably goes without saying, but I’m never one to let something go unsaid:  These are suggestions for individuals who are feeling blue – not depressed.  We’re referring to a feeling of sadness that has you back on your heels – not the sort of sadness that knocks you completely off of your feet.

If you are so sad that you don’t want to even get out of bed, and if this sadness has lasted more than a few weeks – please see a professional asap.  They can help you.

The Shoe Company With Heart AND Sole

by joi on September 22, 2009

Precious Child

I know where my next pair of shoes will come from.  In fact, I know where I’ll be doing a great deal of Christmas shopping!

Toms Shoes was founded with a simple yet beautiful premise: With every pair of shoes a customer (such as you, such as me…) buys, they give a pair of shoes to a precious child in need – like the little doll in the picture to the left (If there’s a person who can look at this picture and not get either a smile or a tear…or both… I hope I never meet them).

TOMS calls the process “One for One.”   I  just call it beautiful.

In their words: In 2006 an American traveler, Blake Mycoskie, befriended children in Argentina and found they had no shoes to protect their feet. Wanting to help, he created TOMS Shoes, a company that would match every pair of shoes purchased with a pair of new shoes given to a child in need. One for One. Blake returned to Argentina with a group of family, friends and staff later that year with 10,000 pairs of shoes made possible by caring TOMS customers. Since our beginning, TOMS has given over 140,000* pairs of shoes to children in need through the One for One model. Because of your support, TOMS plans to give over 300,000 pairs of shoes to children in need around the world in 2009. Our ongoing community events and Shoe Drop Tours allow TOMS supporters and enthusiasts to be part of our One for One movement.

Some may ask, “Why shoes?” Simple. Most children in developing countries grow up barefoot – they don’t have the luxury of sneakers, sandals, houseshoes, etc. that other children have. Whether they are walking to school, doing their chores or playing, this puts them at risk. Keep in mind that these children often have to walk miles for food, water, shelter and medical help. Wearing shoes literally enables them to walk distances that aren’t possible barefoot. And with far, far, far less pain. Not only are the injuries to their little feet painful, they can become very dangerous if, and when, infection sets in.

The leading cause of disease in developing countries is soil-transmitted parasites which penetrate the skin through open sores. Wearing shoes can prevent this and the risk of amputation.

There are even cases of children not being able to attend school because their school requires shoes as part of the uniform. If they don’t have shoes, they can’t go to school!

I hope other companies will see the steps TOMS is taking to improve the lives of others and will pave out their own path to a brighter tomorrow.

Give while you shop! For every pair of shoes you purchase from TOMS Shoes, another pair is given to a child in need. ONE FOR ONE.

“Beauty isn’t worth thinking about; what’s important is your mind. You don’t want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head.” - Garrison Keillor

Girl Chewing Gum.Ever stop to think about the emphasis that looks are given in our society? Young people give their appearance more attention than ever. In fact, a lot of them spend hours primping and preparing for their self-directed photoshoot, then take tons of pictures of themselves for social websites.

During the years when they should be cultivating their relationships, their mind, their conversational skills, their education, and so forth, they’re spending the most time finding their most flattering angles and poses.  Then, of course, they have to take the pictures to photoshop to make them all the more flattering. When all else fails, make that picture black and white.

Then, it’s to the presses! They publish the pics on their favorite social websites with a pleading “Say something about me!

Of course they have to caption the picture themselves – which usually brings gems such as, “I’m just so silly.” or “Wow. I look drunk LOL!

What a LOOK AT ME world!

Ever stop to wonder what the future will be like for the MySpace generation if they don’t start giving their “insides” as much attention as they give their “outsides?”  THAT picture isn’t quite as pretty.

If you’re blessed enough to have young people in your life, you know darn well that you can’t just talk to them about this. You have to outsmart them. Fortunately, if you catch them in photoshop, they’ll be so distracted, your odds will be extraordinary.

Your main goal is to get the young person away from the shallow end of the ME pool and coax her or him into deeper waters.

  • Talk to her about what she wants to do with her life. Feed her interest, whether or not it’s YOUR first choice or not.  Whatever interests her should interest you – buy her books, cut out newspaper articles for her (and of course, read them yourself), talk with her, find websites and television documentaries that focus on her interest, etc.  Tell her that you’re proud of her for having goals and aspirations.
  • Don’t criticize and condemn. Kids need their parents approval more than anything. Just because your son  seems like a cocky little devil doesn’t mean he doesn’t absolutely crave your approval.
  • Compliment your daughter or son’s personality and sense of humor. Let them know that they crack you up and that you love their company. Let them know that there is so much more to them than how they look.
  • Make your child feel smart. Don’t ridicule and make fun of things they say and do.  Whether or not you realize it, this makes them feel dumb.  If they feel like they aren’t “smart enough,” they’ll only look for ways to get the approval they crave.  If they don’t get attention and approval from you, rest assured they’ll get it somewhere else.
  • Show your child the different “needs” in the world. Hand them a copy of  “One Can Make a Difference” and challenge them to find a way to make their  own difference.  Get them away from themselves – for their own good.

Finally, realize that a certain amount of social networking is perfectly normal.  Young people (and even not so young people) are having a blast with it.  It’s downright invigorating to talk to people from around the country and even around the world.   Sharing interests, learning about  different cultures, and so forth – great stuff.  But, come on, when all you have to offer them is,  “My eyes look kind of green in this picture, don’t they?  Well, they’re really brown.  Deep, dark brown… ” – you’d be better off sitting alone admiring your own eyes.

Wow.  What a life well-spent that’d be.

Naturally, we adults aren’t immune to this sort of thing either.  We’d do well to follow our own advice, wouldn’t we?  When we find ourselves on social sites with the attitude of “Look at me!” or “Listen to me!” – we’d do the world a huge favor if we examined our intent and our motivations.  Are they purely selfish, to the tune of simply wanting people to hear us because they happen to have something you want (as in money) or because we want desperately to climb a social ladder and each follower or “convert” represents another step on the ladder?

Or are we genuinely trying to help other people – whether it’s teaching them things we happen to know or motivating and inspiring them to bring out the best in themselves.  Everyone has certain gifts and talents – and if you spend your days using yours to help others I’ve got two words for you:  You’re cool.

We should all frequently step away from ourselves and see the needs in the world. If we can help anyone or anything, even in the smallest way, wouldn’t it be selfish not to? I have no more interest in Fifty Dollar Jackets Covering Fifty Cent Hearts than I do Fifty Dollar Haircuts on Fifty Cent Heads.