From the category archives:

Make a Difference

The World as Viewed by Mother Teresa

by joi on March 3, 2010

in Book Reviews, Books I Love, Daily Quote, Helping Children, Make a Difference, Positive Thought, Spiritual

“In these times of development, the whole world runs and is hurried.  But there are some who fall down on the way and have no strength to go ahead.  These are the ones we must care about.” – Mother Teresa

The powerfully beautiful and beautifully powerful quote above is just one of the gems from Mother Teresa found in In the Heart of the World: Thoughts, Stories and Prayers.

Mother Teresa’s name and image will forever be associated with her kindness, gentleness, and compassion.  Her selfless work with the “poorest of the poor” should be an inspiration to all of us.  In the Heart of the World, written by Mother Teresa, is filled with her eloquent wisdom, motivation, and inspirational teachings.  Below are a few more examples.

Be kind in your actions.  Do not think that you are the only one who can do efficient work, work worth showing.  This makes you harsh in your judgment of others who may not have the same talents.  Do your best and trust that others do their best.  And be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength shines.

We too are called to withdraw at certain intervals into deeper silence and aloneness with God, together as a community as well as personally.  To be alone with him – not with our books, thoughts, and memories but completely stripped of everything – to dwell lovingly in his presence, silent, empty, expectant, and motionless.  We cannot find agitation.

If we were more willing to see the good and beautiful things that surround us, we would be able to transform our families.  From there, we would change our next-door neighbors and then others who live in our neighborhood or city.  We would be able to bring peace and love to our world, which hungers so much for these things.

As I read this book, I lost myself in the beauty that was and is Mother Teresa.  Reading her words was so incredibly peaceful and relaxing – yet, at the same time, an unrest crept up inside of me and stirred around.  I realized that there is far more that I can and should do to help others in the world who are far less fortunate.   While on the early pages, I kept thinking, “What the world needs right now is another Mother Teresa.”  But, as I approached the final pages, I thought, “What the world needs right now if for more men and women to start caring more about people and less about possessions.  It needs more hearts that are broken for the suffering of others.  And more people refusing to look the other way.”

We don’t need another Mother Teresa as much as we need to learn from the one we were blessed with.

“I must be willing to give whatever it takes to do good to others.  This requires that I be willing to give until it hurts.  Otherwise, there is no true love in me and I bring injustice, not peace, to those around me.”  – Mother Teresa

The Mother Teresa quotes are from In the Heart of the World: Thoughts, Stories and Prayers

Leave the Soft Drinks on the Shelves, Put the Tea Bags in the Cart!

by joi on February 17, 2010

in Health, Make a Difference

A new study has found that even drinking just two soft drinks a week can increase your risk of pancreatic cancer. As a former soft drink addict, I know that two soft drinks is usually a daily thing for most people.  At the height of my soft drink fanaticism, I easily drank an entire 2 liter of Dr. Pepper over the course of a day.  Easily.  Then, when I switched to Diet Dr. Pepper, I served it with the same dedication and devotion.  Who am I kidding, I still have a soft spot for my beloved DDP.  Fortunately,  I love tea, iced coffee, and green tea even more, so I’m slowly but surely pulling away from the habit.

The new study that’s generating all the buzz has greatly affected what drinks I bring into my house. Researchers say that drinking as little as two soft drinks a week appears to nearly double the risk of getting pancreatic cancer. Scary stuff.

”People who drank two or more soft drinks a week had an 87% increased risk — or nearly twice the risk — of pancreatic cancer compared to individuals consuming no soft drinks,” says study lead author Noel T. Mueller, MPH, a research associate at the Cancer Control Program at Georgetown University Medical Center, Washington, D.C. The study is published in Cancer Epidemiology, Biomarkers & Prevention, a journal of the American Association for Cancer Research.

If your kids (or your spouse!) seem to think that the only thing they can drink are soft drinks, introduce them to different fruit juices, teas, and flavored water. As a green mom, I really don’t want to recommend bottled flavored water.  Instead, buy a water filter – turning your own water into bottled water.  Then, flavor it – if need be – with lemons, limes, strawberries, blueberries, Stevia or Truvia, peaches, etc.  I confess, I drink what my daughters call “hummingbird water” – I sweeten it with Truvia or Stevia.  I guess it’s all those years of drinking soft drinks and sweet tea (very, very sweet tea – I take my southern heritage seriously).

If you, or anyone in your family, misses the “fizz” in soft drinks – try adding a little club soda to juice.  It’ll give you the fizz without the fright.

Personally, I’ve found that flavored tea bags have enough personality and taste to make you all but forget about soft drinks.  The Peach Celestial Seasonings tea bags (pictured above) make outstanding cups of hot tea and equally outstanding glasses of iced tea.  Remember, tea not only tastes wonderful, it has antioxidants to boot.

Everything good, nothing bad. Where can you beat it?  If you’re going to put something into your body, don’t you want it to be a worthwhile guest and benefit you in some way?  Make today the day you stop putting bad things in your body and start putting more good things in… and start with your drinks.

Random Acts of Kindness for Seniors

by joi on February 12, 2010

in Make a Difference

If there’s one group of people that I feel nothing but love for it’s the elderly. I think they’re adorable in every sense of the word. What’s more, I think we could all learn a great deal from them – their experiences and their wisdom. If you are blessed enough to have parents and grandparents living who would be considered the “older” generation, I’ve got some of the best Self Help advice you’ll ever hear (and remarkably, it goes hand in loving hand with the guest article I posted earlier today!): Pull out all the wonderful information, stories, recipes (!!!), remembrances, and living history from your family members that your brain and heart can hold.

The beautiful thing is, you won’t have to pull hard. Parents, grandparents, older neighbors, co-workers, aunts, uncles, and friends love to talk and visit – we just often get so busy that we don’t take time to listen. This arrangement makes everyone a loser. You’ll make their day if you start visiting with them and listening to them regularly and, mark it down, you’ll be a better person for it.

I want to tell you about something today that’s truly beautiful.  Something that I hope you’ll take advantage of – not just for the good that you’ll give, but for the good you’ll receive.   As I told a friend through e-mail recently – there are certain things I believe in with all of my heart and soul: God’s love, the goodness of coffee and chocolate, the peacefulness of a cat on your lap, and the miracle of a child’s laughter. I told him that I believed in something else just as much: Karma. I believe know that we get out of life no more than we put into it. If we expect amazing things to happen to us, guess what: We have to be worthy!    Here’s a test for you to try:  Think of about 5 people.  Think of the ones who seem, more often than not, to just have it made – they have a good life, they’re happy, and even when things  go wrong – they seem to just kind of laugh through it.   Then think of the ones who never seem to catch a break – things seem to work against them more than for them and they seem to almost always be on the brink of a crisis of some sort.  Now think about the karma they’re generating with their lives.  More times than not, the first group generally loves people and would do anything for anyone, within their power – and sometimes outside of their power.  People, animals, birds, the earth – the first group genuinely just wants to make the world a better place for everyone. The second group?  Well, they’re the  Me, Myself, and I crowd.

And they pay dearly for it.

If you suspect that your karma needs a make over, below is your chance!  If your karma is already sweet… here’s a golden opportunity to sweeten it even further.  Coffee can never be too bold and karma can never be too sweet… that’s kind of Life 101 in my book.

Either way, I’d love for  you to visit Seniors For Living and learn more about Random Acts of Kindness Week.  They’re heading up an outstanding movement to generate random acts of kindness for seniors.  How beautiful is that?!?! Read their suggestions and jump in with both feet and a full heart.

My own personal suggestion?  Nothing matters as much as your time.  No one is so busy or so important that they can’t take at least an hour out of their day to visit with the people who need it the most and will appreciate it the deepest.  Before my grandmother got Alzheimer’s, she absolutely cherished our visits more than anything.  When my girls and I would go by to sit and talk with her, she would talk about it for days!  She’d say things like, “I told Juanita (amongst her other partners in crime!) that my girls came by today and we had a lovely visit…”  I’m sure you’ve had similar experiences.  They’re faces light up and their lives light up.

Now doesn’t that sound like something you’d like to see more of?

Random acts of kindness week is February 15-21.  Like most things, this kindness should start at home, then spread outward.  Read more at random acts of kindness for seniors.

How to Deal With Stress Before It Deals With You

by joi on February 4, 2010

in Animal Protection, General, Health, Self Help

Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. – Richard Carlson

Have you ever seen an individual in the throes of stress?  They look like they’re convinced they have it worse than anybody on earth and seem to be almost incapable of functioning.  Sometimes they lash out in a temper tantrum like a 5 year old that’s being forced to leave the McDonald’s playground or cry and/or sulk like one that never made it to the playground in the first place.    Other times, they internalize and cause themselves a whole host of health problems.

Irregardless of how the host reacts, stress is a most unwelcome guest.  Like all unwelcome guests, it boils down to two choices:

  1. Get rid of it.
  2. Learn to live with it.

If you’re one of those people who seem to stress out over every little thing, you truly need to learn some great coping techniques.  Not for the sake of everyone around you, but for your own.  Blowing up, internalizing, sulking, stressing – these are all things that are causing damage inside your body.  If you could somehow look inside and see what your inability to handle stress is doing, you’d find a way…. make a way… to cope.

When you feel stressed or on edge, picture the Blue-Footed Boobie! There’s no way you’re going to feel cranky or upset when you picture these guys or even just say their name out loud. I guarantee you’ll smile long before you explode or implode. Now, won’t that feel better?

I’m not judging and I’m not condemning.  I’m probably the least judgmental person you’ll ever encounter.  I get that everyone is different and I, honestly, love that fact.  I also have read enough, observed enough, and simply know through good old common sense that everyone reacts to things differently.  On any given day, three people can get a flat tire and each will react differently:

  1. One may cuss, pound the steering wheel, and search for the nearest person to blame – the road crew, the city, construction workers, the spouse (always a good one), God (yeah… He’s always home and has nothing better to do than pop tires), etc.  The blamers of life are real pills, aren’t they?  My oldest daughter and I watched a man outside of a coffee shop one day last week.  Something wasn’t quite right under the hood of his truck and he put on a display unlike anything I’ve seen in a while.  He hit the hood, he screamed at his mortified wife, he stomped, he kicked…  Some people were laughing at him, my daughter said he was “gross” and I just went back to my coffee hoping I never met him face to face.
  2. One may tear up and have a little “poor me, nothing ever goes right for me” cry.
  3. The third one might just say, “Wow, didn’t need that, but at least no one was hurt.  Oh well, if this is the worst thing that happens to me today, I’ve got it made.”

One person isn’t OVER ALL any better, smarter, or cooler than the other two.   Each simply copes differently.  The thing is, when we get to the place where we’re able to cope with stress like the individual in the third example, we’ll enjoy life more, we’ll function better, our health will be better, our relationships will be sweeter and we won’t be spectacles for others to laugh at, call gross, or wish we’d never even seen in the first place.

One of the best ways to deal with stress is to identify your triggers.  The man in front of the coffee shop obviously couldn’t cope with adversity.  (Good luck with life, buddy!)   I also wonder if a little bit of feeling helpless had something to do with his performance.  After all, if he knew what to do, wouldn’t he have been doing it rather than acting a fool?  The lashing out at his wife was probably somewhat of a defensive reaction to keep from showcasing that he didn’t know what to do.  (Pick up the phone… call someone who does…)

We can’t all know everything and there is no shame in simply smiling and saying, “I know as much about this as I do the mating habits of the blue footed boobie.“  There never has been and there never will be any shame in admitting that you’re human.  Some of my best friends are human.

Other people are triggered, seemingly, when they think the world isn’t doing enough for them or giving them enough.  Ah, the selfish crowd.  God love their little hearts, they honestly feel like everyone’s day should center around serving them, catering to them, and bowing down to their mightiness.  I guess it’s obvious why they’re so miserable – that’s just not going to happen. If you go around demanding respect and telling everyone why they should (or MUST!) respect, fear, and applaud you – you obviously don’t deserve any of the accolades.  If you did, they’d be yours.

My advice for these people is this:  Love yourself, feel proud of yourself, and pat yourself on the back all you want.  But, you must let others make up their own minds about you.  Don’t tell them how great you are, show them.  The world doesn’t owe you anything.  If this is your thinking, let me hasten to point out that you’ve got it all twisted…. You owe the world.  Start giving and you won’t have time to throw a pity party.  Also, while you’re at it, stop complaining that others aren’t doing enough for you.  If you want something done, do it. Try this on for a while:  Go out of your way to do things for other people.  Compliment them, smile at them, help them out whenever and however you can.  There’s a great old saying, What goes around comes around – maybe you’ve been living that out and what you’re receiving is what you’ve been giving… or, in this case, haven’t been giving.

Just a thought.

A third stress trigger is feeling overwhelmed – like life is just giving you too much at one time.  We’ve all been there and few of us ever want to go back.  The emotions, turmoil, and so forth that surrounded my mom’s sudden death in 2006 left me feeling like I was completely and totally spent.   If not for prayer and an outstanding family, I might still be in bed with the covers over my head.  I remember the day that I “got up.”  I hadn’t physically stayed in bed for days after losing my mom, but my spirit did.  Then, one day, I was in the back of the house and I heard my husband and our youngest daughter in the front of the house looking for something.  I knew that, not only wouldn’t they be able to find it, they’d make a mess trying.  I flipped a switch that I’d forgotten even existed and, literally, rejoined my family.

Sometimes we have to admit that we’ve “gone under.”  Make no mistake about it, we all do at one time or another – we feel overwhelmed and worn out.  The trick is not to stay there.  Remember Lao-Tzu’s words, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.“  If relationships, finances, work, or another potent opponent has you on the ropes…. or even if it has knocked you to the mat!… you have a choice to make:  Are you going to stay there or are you going to fight back?!?!

The answer to your triggers, your problems, your adversities, and your stress lies within your heart.  Find someplace quiet and sort things out.  Stop placing blame on anyone, beginning with yourself.  Blame is the most irrelevant and useless expense of energy I can think of.  Forge past blame, forge past self-pity, and forge past anger. Find the solution you need to either remove your personal stress from your life or determine how you’ll learn to live with it.

Life is too precious and too wonderful to spend it stressed out and on edge.  Be happy.  Lighten up.  Dance.  Repeat.

Photo Credit: The picture of the beautiful Blue Footed Booby Birds is from Animal Corner.

To learn what you can do to protect the Blue Footed Booby Bird, visit the Adoption Center of the WWF.

Better Because of You: Get Ready for a Shot in the Arm

by joi on February 1, 2010

in Book Reviews, Books I Love, Make a Difference, Positive Thought, Self Help

I mentioned, in my last post, an inspirational little book I just finished, Better Because of You by Ginny Hutchinson and Kathy Haffner.  I am absolutely in love with this book and I hope you’ll soon have the opportunity to fall head over heels in love with it as well.

This book is perfect for you if you….

  • Love inspirational books and writings.
  • Love books that read very fast, leaving you more time for other things.
  • Are looking for more peace and zen in your life.
  • Are looking for more joy and happiness.
  • Would like to have your life touched and enriched.
  • Would welcome a ray of sunshine into your world.

Okay, I could have said this book is perfect for anyone and everyone, but I had a few bullet points lying around and wanted to use them.

This colorful, wonderful-natured, and fun little book is just a little over 100 pages.  It’s not the sort of book that you get half-way through, put on the shelf and then have to force yourself to continue.  Truth be told, it’ll never make it to the shelf.  This is the sort of book you like to keep near you, just in case you need a uplifting quote, an inspirational shot in the arm, a soothing pat on the back, or a motivational kick in the behind.  Believe me, you’ll find just what you need when you need it inside Better Because of You.

I highly recommend this delightful book.  Its positive outlook is contagious and it will give you a lift just when you need one the most.  The gist of the book is to show the reader small, simple things they can do each day to make a big difference in their life… as well as in the lives of others.

The authors give many original insights into life and its many facets.  They share useful tips to help the reader get more joy from life while derailing stress that would like to rob them of this joy.  One of my favorite suggestions is below:

Create a Visualization Board.

Buy a blank poster board.  Think about your life one to two years from now.  Cut out and paste up pictures from magazines or download images from the Internet that represent your dreams, key relationships, a dream home, education, charities to support, vacation destinations, or hobbies that interest you. - Page 30, Better Because of You

I love the thought of having a Visualization board.  My oldest daughter recently put one together on a computer program (Paint), using pictures she rounded up online.  What can I say, my offspring is as environmentally-conscious as I am.

Along with each tip and/or suggestion, the authors include personal examples of individuals who have experienced the fruits of the tip.  As you’d expect, these have as much of an impact on the reader as the tips do.

The book also includes over 40 pages of inspirational and motivational quotes.  They’re grouped by subject, so you’ll always be able to find just the inspiration you need, in just area you need it.  Sort of like making sure you get the right shot in the right arm.   There’s even a great (equally inspiring) website you can visit and take part in, http://www.betterbecause.com/.

Book Description:
This book shows you how to make life just a little bit better in all 7 facets of your life.

Read true-to-life, inspirational stories that can help you do small things each day to make a big difference in these 7 areas:

- Health
- Wealth
- Wisdom
- Work
- Play
- Others
- Service

Authors Ginny and Cathy are successful Fortune 100 executives who wanted to make a positive difference in the world.

Simply revealed are their 3 core beliefs based on the valuable (and humorous) lessons they learned in the corporate world, decades of marriage and raising children.

This book is essential reading for anyone looking for simple insights on leading a happier life. This book shows you how you, as one individual, can be an irresistible force for positive change.

A portion of proceeds support Room to Read, a non-profit leader educating children in developing countries.

Look Up!

Take time to be present and relish the ordinary moments of your life.  Be aware of your current place, not the past or future.  This means, look up from your cell phone, laptop, or TV.  See what’s going on around you. - Page 16, Better Because of You

I actually read the quote above (about looking up) during a lunch break last week while  serving jury duty.   All of the jurors had spread out and gone to different restaurants but (you know me), I rushed across the street to a coffee house. I was sitting near a window thinking about this website that hadn’t been updated, that blog that needed a post, the laundry that could frighten small children, my cats who would surely sulk for a month, supper that wouldn’t make itself, and so on.  After getting my Steak and Cheese Panini, iced tea, and coffee – I sat down and pulled the little book from my purse and began to pick up reading where I’d left off.  The quote above is the first thing I read.

I realized that I was very guilty of not relishing the moment I was in at the time – something that I normally excel in.  I’m simply not the person who can be found living in the future or the past – for better or worse, I’m forever in the moment, trying to make it count double.  However, a chaotic couple of weeks was beginning to turn me into a bundle of caffeinated nerves – and a bundle of caffeinated nerves doesn’t do anyone any good.

I literally took a deep breath, put the book back in my purse, and enjoyed my sandwich and tea. Then I sat and slowly drank my (outstanding) coffee without thinking about anything except my surroundings, my blessings, and this wonderful ride we call life.   The next time you find yourself coming unwound or unraveled, take a deep breath.  Then take in your surroundings and the beauty that’s outside your window.  Within this pause you’ll find clarity, peace, and relaxation.  As the ladies say, “Look Up!”

The adorable logos above are available on BetterBecause.com – I obviously chose my own mantras, but there are plenty to choose from. You can have the logos printed on a number of products, including coffee mugs and tumblers.   How cute are they?

Order Better Because of You on Amazon today.

A Few Thoughts and The Best Quote You’ll Read This Year

by joi on January 30, 2010

in Make a Difference, Positive Thought, Self Help, Self Help Daily

Hello!  You remember me, right?  Oh, come on… you do so.   I’ve gotten behind this month on Self Help Daily – with writing, responding to comments, and just about everything else.  I served all of January on jury duty and had to sit got to sit on the jury for a major trial.  It was an utterly fascinating, gut wrenching, educational, and profoundly moving experience. I’ll never forget any of it for the rest of my life.  I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again – if you ever are chosen to serve on a jury, just do it.  Don’t do back flips trying to get out of it or throw the notice away, acting like you never saw it. You’re cooler than that, I know you are.

For one thing, you could get into a lot of trouble and who really wants to invite trouble into their home… especially the kind in uniform.  For another thing, it’s the least you can do to serve your community and to stand up for your neighbors.  Lastly, why should YOU run scared from something that others are facing head on?  The entire process is laid out for you plainly and like most things in life, your primary responsibility is to just care enough to show up.

If you’re lucky, really lucky, you’ll be rewarded with the honor of serving your community and getting a chance to meet life head-on out on the battlefield.  Invigorating, much.  As I pointed out in a recent post (Behold: The Land of the Lost... sorry, someone had too much coffee and not enough chocolate that day.  There’s a sweet balance and when I get out of rhythm, I’m thrown. Too much coffee and not enough chocolate makes me testy.  Too much chocolate and not enough coffee makes me punchy.), doing things such as serving on a jury or even just reporting for jury duty is considered out of the ordinary and most people hate “out of the ordinary.”  Yet, this  is where TRUE growth happens.  Out of the ordinary is where you learn new things.  As I said in the testy post,  Each experience helps you to develop new layers and fill up fresh wells of life experiences to draw from.

I didn’t start out to lecture you on jury duty – honestly!  I just wanted to take the opportunity to let you know where I’ve been and why updates have been unusually sparse.   I also wanted to say that I’m nearly caught up on responding to comments and e-mail.  That leads me to something I’ve been meaning to say for a very long time:  Check out the comments!  In the sidebar, you’ll find a heading that says (creatively enough) COMMENTS.  Below, you’ll find the most recent 8 or so comments.  Granted, at the moment, because I’ve been playing catch-up, most are my own.  But if you click through any of these you’ll see the other comments.

My regular commentators on Self Help Daily (for whom I’m very grateful) are a colorful bunch and always give me food for thought. Pull your chair up next to them and share the thoughts – there are plenty to go around.  Also, I ask you to visit their websites and/or blogs as well.  I have a plugin set up on Self Help Daily (CommentLuv) that allows each comment to include a link back, automatically, to the commentators last blog post.  Please visit the blogs of these individuals and see what else they have to say…. After, of course, you leave your comment here on Self Help Daily – the more food for thought, the better!

I have gotten behind… make that BEHIND on books I’ve been wanting to review and tell you about as well.  I’ve read some amazing books lately and can’t wait to share them with you.  Book reviews take a little longer with me simply because I don’t just say, “I read this book. I liked this book.  You should read this book.”  My approach is this:  If the book was worth my time and I believe will be worth your time, I incorporate the book into an article that could stand on it’s own.  That is, I try very hard to tell you about the book and review the book without making you feel like you’re in the midst of a book review.    My book reviews, I feel, are worth reading because they’re simply articles as usual here on SHD – they’re simply articles that mention a great book or two.

The book that I’ll be focusing on in the next post is called Better Because of You by Ginny Hutchinson and Cathy Haffner.   I read it this month during my jury duty – on breaks when no one was around to talk to. When others were near, I talked with them.  I love books, but I’d never ever choose one over a human.   Anyway, this is a fantastic little book and I’ll tell you all about it either later today or tomorrow.

I want to end this post with a quote from this book.  I read it during a long day of jury duty.  A day that found me missing my family, my cats, my house shoes, and my kitchen  – and hoping they all remembered who I was.    I was on schedule with my coffee/chocolate balance, so I wasn’t punchy or testy.  However, I still got a lot out of this quote and loved how it showed up at just the right time.  I’ve written this passage down and I think you’ll want to do the same.  Heck, I’d recommend starting each and every day by reading the words from front to back.

This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of Nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.

I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community, and as long as I live it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can.

I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work, the more I live.  I rejoice in life for its own sake.  Life is not brief candle to me; it is a sort of splendid torch which I have got a hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.  – George Bernard Shaw

Splendid, Mr. Shaw, splendid.

Playing Like a Bunch of Girls! A Tribute to the Human Spirit

by joi on January 20, 2010

in Make a Difference, Positive Thought, Relationships

Men are only great as they are kind. – Elbert Hubbard

I’m sure Elbert Hubbard wouldn’t mind if I took liberties and said, “Men, women, and super cool young ladies are only great as they are kind.”

I have a new personal heroine and her name is Mallory Holtman. I think we can all learn a thing or two from her. I love the quote about stepping up and doing the right thing at the right time.

May we all keep those words and the image of these beautiful young ladies in our mind forever and ever, amen.

Time for a Reality TV Adjustment

by joi on January 18, 2010

in Helping Children, Relationships

Day Of Anger Poster Print

I’ve noticed a very disturbing, yet escalating trend: People seem to be more disagreeable than ever before.  It seems to me that they’re lashing out with less provocation, disagreeing more readily, and all but refusing to see the other person’s point of view.   I don’t know how people who work with the public on a daily basis stand it.  If it keeps going like this, Wal-Mart greeters will need to arm themselves with mace.

Okay, I’m exaggerating but you get the point.

Frankly, I think part of the blame lies in the the things we watch on television, specifically certain reality shows. The ones that treat fighting, yelling, name-calling, and being obnoxious as something desirable and even entertaining. Is this really what most people are drawn to these days? The Reality shows on MTV are the worst.

My husband and I went to Best Buy a few nights ago and as we were leaving, some kids were standing near the door.  A few young girls were yelling and cussing – really trying to be toughies, yet looking and sounding ridiculous.  The loud f-bombs, the overly dramatic anger, the attempts to seem out of control..  it was obvious that they regularly bowed at the alter of reality television.  I’d rather have my toenails yanked out one by one than to see the average young lady begin to look and sound like these girls.  Instead of looking bright, the future would look (and sound) dim, dark, and dank.

More adults need to pay attention to what their kids are watching – and think twice about what they’re watching, themselves.  I really am sorry if that sounds…. no, I’m not.  I’m not sorry how it sounds – it’s the truth.

Don’t get me wrong, a few of my favorite shows fall under the heading of Reality TV.  I just dare you to get between me and The Biggest Loser or Survivor!  These shows, however, aren’t the ones causing the problems.  The ones that are beginning to spew nastiness out into our culture are the ones that serve absolutely no purpose at all – other than polluting their viewers, especially the ones who are a little weaker emotionally and/or mentally.  They’re the shows that highlight crass behavior, yelling, crudeness, and vulgarity.  They’re the ones that celebrate depravity and tastelessness.

I think everyone needs a refresher course in class, decency, and what it means to have character rather than be a character.

The other day, I was reading a thread of comments under a blog post.  The post was about one of these ridiculous reality shows, one of the newer ones – Heaven help us.  I’ve never seen an episode, nor would I watch one for money – but I have seen  previews.  The most recent preview showed females fighting, screaming, and then being carted off to jail as men stood around laughing.

Wow, so entertaining.  So enriching, educational, and uplifting.

One of the comments said something to the effect, “Remember when America had class?” I have no idea whether or not this was an American who made the comment or not.  Either way, as a proud American, I found the comment to be very depressing.   I’d like to go on record as saying that, as a whole, we do have class.  Most of us still shun this sort of ignorance and we cringe when people act like barbarians in public or private.

Our biggest fault, I suppose, may be the fact that we’ve remained too quiet and too laid back for too long.   I’d l0ve to see a big, beautiful, long overdue movement rise from the heartland of America.  A movement that said we’re tired of what television is doing to our country and its young people.  A movement that said, America has as much class now as it ever did!

Remember, just because you can watch morons on television acting like morons on television and realize that they are abnormal doesn’t mean that a young person is capable of the same separation. Even the most intelligent and mature young person will come away from these types of shows worse than they were beforehand.  Sit down with the young people in your life and watch what they watch with them – if you can stand it.  Ask yourself if there’s anything remotely in this show that will make them a better, stronger, more intelligent individual.  Does the show promote class, character, or tastefulness in any way?

If you think I’m over-reacting, you haven’t seen what’s on television right now.  Sadly, odds are that the young people in your life probably have.  Don’t feel left out, though, given enough time, you’ll  see exactly what they saw.  Through them.  And it won’t be pretty.

Thursday Throwback: A Grandfather’s Top Ten List That’s Pure Gold

by joi on January 7, 2010

in Books I Love, Helping Children, Positive Thought, Relationships, Thursday Throwback

The following is a wonderful article from a book from 1947.  The book’s title, Words to Live By, sums up this author’s thoughts perfectly.  They are, indeed, words to live by.   The author, Will Durant, wrote these ten rules for his own grandchildren – but, as you’ll see, many of the rules apply to people of all ages.

Send a list to your own children and/or grandchildren.  For that matter, send it to everyone you know.  Personally, I think the world would be a much better place if every single one of us read through… then lived out… the following grandfatherly advice.

FOR VERY YOUNG PHILOSOPHERS by Will Durant

EDITOR’s NOTE:  Mr. Durant, as everyone knows, is the distinguished author of an impressive list of important books, including the multivolumed The Story of Civilization.  But when we asked him to contribute some thoughts to the “Words to Live By” page, he stepped out of his role as philosopher and historian into that of grandfather.  The advice he gives here was written for his own three grandchildren.

  1. Begin the day with cleanliness.  Keep your bathroom immaculate.
  2. Before leaving your room in the morning put all discarded clothing into a dresser or a closet.
  3. Dress yourself neatly; other people can judge us only by what they see, until they know us well; and their judgments will affect our progress and our happiness.
  4. Enter into the life of the family and the community with good cheer; make little of your troubles, much of your good fortune.
  5. Do not speak while another is speaking.  Discuss, do not dispute.  Absorb and acknowledge whatever truth you can find in opinions different from your own.
  6. Be courteous and considerate to all, especially to those who oppose you.
  7. Reduce to a minimum your reading, hearing, and watching of material intended for immature minds.  The mind is formed by what it takes in.  Don’t be a wastebasket.
  8. Do some studying every day; grow old while learning.
  9. Combine external modesty with internal pride.  Your modesty will make it easier for those around you to bear with you; your internal pride will stir you to shun meanness and sloth.
  10. You will find the Golden Rule the simplest and surest secret of happiness.

**********************

Reduce to a minimum your reading, hearing, and watching of material intended for immature minds.  The mind is formed by what it takes in.  Don’t be a wastebasket. Leave it to a grandfather to beautifully sum up what the rest of us have been trying to convey for two forevers.  I love this!

Make a Difference in the Life of a Child This Christmas

by joi on December 4, 2009

in Helping Children, Make a Difference, Must Reads, Positive Thought

Toys for Tots Bear

“We make a living through what we get, but we make a life through what we give.” – Winston Churchill

During a Christmas season when all of us are feeling the tightening of the money belt,we have to be careful not to get sidetracked with the wrong kinds of thoughts…. “stinkin’ thinkin’” as it were.  Christmas shouldn’t be a time for worrying, fretting, or stressing over how much we’re able to buy or not buy.  Christmas is a time for celebrating!

Now, having said that, I  completely understand wanting to have the house all decked out in beautiful colors and lights.  I understand wanting to have oodles of cookies, piles of fudge, and jars of homemade candies.  As a doting (there really can be no other word for it) wife and mother, I most certainly understand wanting to buy your husband the best sweaters, your daughters the loveliest lovelies, and your sons the best games.  What’s more, we want them all wrapped in the most gorgeous gift wrapping possible.

Then there’s the bank balance – letting you know, every step of the way, that this year isn’t quite like any other.  At least not one like most of us have ever seen.  Since I can remember, Christmas was always bright, wonderful, and lavish.  As an only child, most Christmases presented me with so many presents I was positively worn out at the end of it all.

However, none of the toys, stuffed animals, bikes, barbie airports, barbie townhouses, dolls (not even the one that tumbled) symbolize Christmas for me.  When I think back over my favorite Christmases, I think of…

  • My MeMe’s divinity – she was paralyzed on one side but could outbake just about anyone!
  • My mom’s peanut butter fudge
  • The year my grandmother set out her Nativity set and gave Mary’s position to a shepherd and put Mary in the back with the sheep.  When I asked her why she wanted to change history, she nearly collapsed in laughter.  I was 10 at the time, but her laugh is still in my mind… and heart.
  • The year my mom broke with tradition and decorated her tree all fru-fru like with mauve bows, angel heads, and baby’s breath.  My very traditional dad snarled at it every time he passed by it.  One night as he happened to be turning off the lights, my mom called from the back of the house, “Turn off the tree lights, we don’t want it catching fire!”  Just then, he flipped the switch back on and winked at me.
  • The first year my husband and I were married – he was in the military and money wasn’t exactly flowing in our direction.  We went to a craft’s store and loaded up on supplies.  Then we went home and, after I baked us some warm chocolate chip cookies – we made gifts for everyone in our family.  They still have, and treasure, them!  We had a blast, too.  I do remember, however, losing my husband a few times during the process when football was on television.  Then, again to be fair, he lost me a few times when UK basketball was on.
  • Watching Christmas specials with our girls when they were little.  These days, if Johnny Depp, Miley Cyrus, or Tyra isn’t in the special – my girls aren’t in the room.  That’s cool with me, my cat Alexa and I watch them anyway!
  • I remember our cat Prissy always climbing the Christmas tree -every single year!  I stopped using breakable ornaments when she was still alive, because I didn’t want her hurting herself. Get this – I didn’t even use the hooks during the Prissy years.  When she hit 20 years, she didn’t get much higher than the bottom branch, but she still gave it a go.  Thankfully, Alexa (a good 10 pounds heavier) is content to lie under the tree and sneak into presents.

The list of memories goes on and on and on, but the remarkable thing is, what I received or didn’t receive is nowhere near the top of the list.  It just didn’t matter.  Laughter did, love did, chocolate did.  And Mary in the field.

If you’re cutting back this year, don’t fret it and don’t sweat it!  In fact, I’d like to make a suggestion:  Take a particular area and do something completely selfless and wonderful instead.  For example:  If you planned on decorating the outside of your house, use the money for Toys for Tots instead.   Go to the website and find out when they’ll be collecting toys in your area, then go straight to the store and buy some fantastic toys to give.  If you do this (for example) in place of lighting up your house – you will have a great deal of money to spend on toys.

Which had you rather light up – your yard or the face of a child in need.  Not even close.

Another suggestion: If your office normally has a huge Christmas party or dinner, suggest this year that each individual brings in a toy for children.  Then, appoint someone to take the collection to Toys for Tots or another agency which is moving Heaven and earth to help children.  If you and I are feeling the pinch this year, for crying out loud (literally) can you imagine the predictament others are in?  The thought of a child not having a present on Christmas makes me want to cry. (In fact, there come the tears now.)

I’m just incredibly afraid that, this year, toys and donations are going to be especially low and there will be many, many children left out.

Please, please, please go to Toys for Tots right now and learn more about your local campaign.

If you make one precious child smile this Christmas – whether you realize it or not, you had a richer Christmas than most could ever hope for.  The smile on a child’s face will warm God’ s heart more than a billion lights.  I suspect it’s the kind of light show angels line up to see!

Toys for Tots

North Star Fine Coffees

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