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Why I Hate, Loathe, and Despise Beauty Pageants for Little Girls

November 12, 2012 By 1 Comment

Why Turn Children Into Mini Adults?!

Today’s Writing Prompt for the National Health Blogger’s Challenge is “Call BS on something. What’s something that is just ridiculous?“  A few things came to mind, what with it being election month and everything. However, there is something that I hate with such a cruel and unusual hatred that I pretty much knew what I’d write about instantly.

exploit [ik-sploit] – to use selfishly for one’s own ends

I hate, loathe, despise, and am sickened by the trend of turning little girls into tiny versions of women.  I am, by nature, a very peace-loving, you-live-your-life-and-I’ll-live-mine, laid back person.  Maybe it’s a Kentucky thing, I don’t know. However, little girl’s pageant shows make me want to kick every parent involved right in the shins.

What’s more, it makes me want to throw something (just about any projectile will do) at the people that pay for advertising on these shows and anyone and anything associated with their promotion in any way.

How’s that for a vent?

The costumes, makeup, and hair they put on these babies makes my insides turn. It’s just wrong. The fact that millions of people tune in doesn’t make it right – it only makes me sicker.

In an age where people abuse children in deplorable ways and in an age where they are photographed in deplorable ways makes me ask, “Who in the hell thinks it’s a good idea?!”  This entire process defines “something that is just ridiculous.”

I read an article a few weeks ago about the disturbing trend in children’s Halloween clothing. It had pictures of the popular costumes a few years ago, along with popular (“sexier”) clothing today.  I couldn’t decide which I wanted to do more – cry or throw up.

I honestly believe it can be attributed to one particular program that’s been allowed to continue and flourish.

Let’s watch an episode of little children being made to look like tiny little women with lipstick, fake tanning, and big hair.  Let’s watch them cry when they aren’t “pretty enough” or “good enough.” Wow! What fun!

Total BS.

If you’re a fan of this type of show, I apologize for stepping on your toes.  Hopefully we can just disagree and respect one another.

exploit [ik-sploit] – to use selfishly for one’s own ends

Having said that, nothing would make me happier than to see a huge, grass roots type movement swell up and boycott any show, any network, and any advertisers involved in using children to get rich.

  • I’d LOVE to see America make a statement to the moms: “Get a life of your own – quit living through your little girl! This is a child. Not a meal ticket.”
  • I’d LOVE to see America make a statement to the advertisers: “I don’t respect any product or service that supports this. This are children. Not meal tickets.”
  • I’d LOVE to see America force networks to make quality programs – programs that actually educate, inspire, motivate, and/or do something beneficial for society. Without exploiting children.

Self image is one of the most important things in the world. How we feel about ourselves determines, to a very large extent, how far we’ll go in life.  Young girls already have a nightmarish time with the media. Experts tell us that potentially fatal eating disorders and teenage pregnancies are both attributed to self image. 

Then again,there’s a show for teenage pregnancies too… but I’m getting off track.

This one may shock you, but networks,  producers, and parents who make put these shows within reach of the viewing public aren’t the people I’m most disappointed in.  Times are tough – and tough times make people desperate. There’s a lot of competition with networks and programs – again, people get a little desperate. I’m the most disappointed in the people who tune in again and again and again. I’m a little alarmed by people who think of this as entertainment.

What’s the best part, the expression on the little girls’ faces who don’t win…. when they aren’t “pretty enough” or the part where 95 percent of their day is dedicated to superficiality?

I’m in the middle of a big old vent – and it’s uncommonly hard to “back off” when the vent gets rolling! However, in all fairness, I will stop and say that I IN NO WAY feel that anyone involved in this sort of thing sees it the way I (or a lot of people) do. If they did, they’d avoid it like the plague.  If parents or people behind these shows realized how the children were being expoited, they’d courageously pull out and allow the chips to fall where they may.

I also don’t think that parents who buy their children “sexy” Halloween costumes totally realize what they’re doing either.   They may concede that, yes… they’re forcing their children to grow up too quickly.. but they may not fully realize the wrongness of it all.

People become kind of desensitized to things, don’t they?  You see shows like the ones I’ve talked about, you see sitcoms, movies, and even some commercials and you start thinking that abnormal is normal.  Problem is, this sort of thinking is the very place where everything wrong, perverse, and destructive is born.

Ever write (or said) something, while the whole time thinking, “I’m going to hear about this!!!”?  I know for a fact I’ll get negative feedback for this rant – in e-mail for sure.  For someone who hates controversy or adversity at all, it’ll be hell for me.  However, it’s no where near the hell of watching tv shows, magazines, etc exploit children.  Small children – arguably anyone under the age of 18 – simply aren’t capable of determining what’s best for them.

They aren’t even deemed worthy of knowing who to vote for until they’re 18!

I just want to see the tide turn and children resume their rightful place in this world – not as entertainment, not as meal tickets, not as mini-adults -  but as adorable, fun-loving, innocent children.

Okay. Rant over.  We’re good.

Filed Under: General, Helping Children

6 Reasons to Consider Veganism

October 3, 2012 By 2 Comments

I Guarantee These Points will Make You Ponder

Koya Webb

Below is a guest post by the ridiculously beautiful Koya Webb. I remember the first time I saw a picture of Koya Webb. The article was discussing healthy diets and promoting healthy lifestyles.  When I saw Koya’s picture, I thought, “Just give me what she’s having.”

I hope you’ll just put aside your preconceived opinions about veganism and read the article with an open mind. It’s only when we have ALL the facts that we can make the healthiest decisions in life.  – Joi

Unveiling the Vegan Lifestyle: 6 Points to Ponder

by Koya Webb

Dietary veganism—the practice of abstaining from eating animal products—is a lifestyle rife with mystery, myths and misconceptions, and is often erroneously regarded as a dietary regime for extremists.  In fact, amid copious health and wellness benefits, the vegan diet is far more mainstream today. This is exemplified by the number of vegan restaurants, and vegan dishes at traditional restaurants, increasing exponentially as well as the high profile personalities that have adopted a vegan diet.

Perhaps the vegan diet officially “arrived” when Oprah Winfrey went on a vegan diet for 21 days in 2008, and in 2011 asked her 378 production staff to do the same for one week, as well reported*. Reports also note that Former U.S. president Bill Clinton adopted a vegan diet in 2010 after cardiac surgery, while his daughter Chelsea was already a vegan. In November 2010 Bloomberg Businessweek stated that a growing number of American CEOs were becoming vegan, such as Steve Wynn, Mortimer Zuckerman, and Russell Simmons. A list of other notable vegans can be found on Wikipedia.

[Read more...]

Filed Under: Conservation, Fitness, Health Tagged With: , , , ,

Parents, Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, and Teachers…

August 14, 2012 By 2 Comments

A Wonderful Little Book for Children for Kindle

I Create My World

I’m in love with this little book – more to the point, I’m in love with the concept of providing children with positive affirmations, self confidence, and self worth. I Create My World; the Power of Thought to Shape Our Lives: a Book of Affirmations is a Kindle book for children that I wish I could put in every child in the world’s precious little hands.

I Create My World

I don’t have to tell you how important self worth is, nor do I need to remind you how important it is to our happiness and even health to realize that we are..

  • important
  • special
  • wonderful
  • worthy of love, happiness, and all things good!

What I might need to remind a lot of people of is this: People need to be grounded in these truths very, very, very early in life.  The first years of development are more important than most people realize.  A lot of the beliefs, feelings, and thoughts we develop as very young children stay with us throughout our lives.  That’s why the thought of a loving adult sitting down with a child and reading a book like this, together, fills my heart with warm hope.

I Create My World

 

Picture it: A parent, grandparent, older sibling, or other family member sitting with a precious little child reading a bright, beautiful book that’s all bout THEM!  Kids are their own favorite topic of conversation, after all – and this is a book reminding them.. reinforcing in them… that they are…

  • special
  • talented
  • loved
  • gifted
  • wonderful
  • the artist who’ll paint their life’s picture

 

 

I Create My World

I read to my daughters (Emily, Brittany, and Stephany) from the moment they were old enough to listen.  The time spent together was sweeter than any cupcake could ever hope to be. I found that it was often the words shared between us… between pages.. that were the most powerful.  The same would be true with this delightful and colorful book.  Think of the wonderful opportunities you’d have to instill positive life affirmations!  Having a book as a “tool” helps immensely.  The author’s words can guide your words, while the picture holds the child’s attention.

I’m reminded almost daily  just how strong children’s memories are.  My daughters often bring up things that happened so long ago that my mind had nearly misplaced the entire scenario! They remember books we checked out at the library and read as soon as we got home, they remember lessons from our home school – all the way back to when they were 5 and 6.  A few months ago, one of my girls brought up a story I’d made up when they were all younger than 8.  They remembered the “moral” and even the illustrations I drew to go along with it!

What a child experiences early in life helps mold and form them into the person they’ll become. It’s as though we provide them (when they’re very small) with the colors they’ll use to paint their life’s picture.

I Create My World; the Power of Thought to Shape Our Lives: a Book of Affirmations is a beautiful palette of colors you can use to your child’s advantage!

Click through any of the links or images to learn more.

Filed Under: Books I Love, Helping Children Tagged With: , ,

The TRUE Opposite of Boldness

May 9, 2012 By 2 Comments

It Isn't What You Think

Hannah

 

In the Bible, there’s a passage that used to bumfuzzle me.  When I was much younger, I even wanted to ask my preacher about it.  I didn’t because I didn’t want to seem, at best, a simple little dummy or, at worst, a Hell-bound little heathen. I’m certain I’m neither, so I just decided to figure it out for myself.

The passage basically says that it’s better to be cold or hot than to be lukewarm. To my young mind, I was certain the Bible had gotten it twisted. After all, wouldn’t it be better to be at least a little warm than to be altogether cold?  Time and life experience have taught me that, OF COURSE, the Bible was right.

When I came home from the store this morning, one of our outside cats (Hannah – pictured above, showing off her beautiful markings) was standing in the middle of the driveway.  Naturally, I had to wait (while finishing off my breakfast sandwich and black coffee from Burger King) as she decided which way she intended to go – toward her favorite patio chair on the carport or toward a sunny spot in the yard with her name on it.  It didn’t take long (I timed it right around two bites and four sips) for her to realize her chair just didn’t look quite right without her.

Hannah, in the middle of the driveway, is like a lukewarm person.  You almost want to yell, “Pick a side!”  But I never yell at cats, so that’s out.

It sort of comes down to two things:

  • If we’re right, we should always stand up for our beliefs. Head up, chest out, feet firm. Move us if you dare.
  • If we’re wrong, we should always stand up for our beliefs. Head up, chest out, feet firm. Move us if you dare.

Someone once told me they “hated” certain men and women who go door to door with little books.  Although I don’t personally agree with their literature, I have no ill-will toward them.  In fact, many years ago I invited a few of these women into my living room for what turned out to be a very interesting conversation. When I told them I wasn’t interested in reading their little books, one of them (the lead, I presume) asked if I’d listen to her for a few minutes. I told her I would if she’d return the favor. We talked and debated for 45 minutes.   The lead did all of their talking -with the younger woman looking back and forth between both of us.   The older lady had a huge Russian-style hat on and at one point I told her that a certain point I was making was as obvious as the hat on her head.   The younger woman burst out laughing. They retreated. My daughters applauded. I bowed.

I don’t hate these people. Far from it. In fact, can I let you in on a little secret? I admire their conviction, their determination, and.. yes… their bravery.

What if those of us who have strong convictions of our own…..

  • Fighting child abuse
  • Trying to end childhood diseases
  • Protecting wildlife
  • Believing that prayer, the Bible, and the Pledge of Allegiance to the American flag should have NEVER been taken out of schools

….. were just as determined, passionate, and brave?  What if we didn’t stand in the middle of the road – afraid to say what we really think (not giving two shakes about what people would think) but picked our side and defied an army to move us?!  Then the noisy, misguided minority would never win another battle.

Don’t quote me on an school exam, but meekness is not the opposite of boldness.  Middle-ness is.  As Charles Krauthammer said,  Middleness is the very enemy of the bold.

Below are some of my favorite quotes about standing up for what you believe in, whether it’s a political hot topic or a favorite patio chair.

When something important is going on, silence is a lie. – A.M. Rosenthal

Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by the traffic from both sides. – Margaret Thatcher

A man’s judgment is best when he can forget himself and any reputation he may have acquired and can concentrate wholly on making the right decisions. – Adm. Raymond A. Spruance

You can lean over backward so far that you fall flat on your face. – Ben H. Bagdikian

He who turns the other cheek too far gets it in the neck. – H. Hert

The main discomfort in being a middle-of-the-roader is that you get sideswiped by partisans going in both directions. – Sydney J. Harris

You’ve got to stand for somethin’ or you’re gonna fall for anything. – John Mellencamp

A thing moderately good is not so good as it ought to be.  Moderation in temper is always a virtue; but moderation in principle is always a vice. – Thomas Paine

He that always gives way to others will end in having no principles of his own. – Aesop

It’s important that people should know what you stand for.  It’s equally important that they know what you won’t stand for. – Mary H. Waldrip

Learn to say no. It will be of more use to you than to be able to read Latin.  – Charles Haddon Spurgeon

Compromise makes a good umbrella, but a poor roof. – James Russell Lowell

A good resolution is like an old horse which is often saddled but rarely ridden. – Mexican Proverb

Never give in – in nothing, great or small, large or petty – except to convictions of honor and good sense. – Winston Churchill

Filed Under: Make a Difference, Self Awareness, Vintage Self Help Daily Tagged With: , , ,

Very, Very Special Gift Idea for Mom

May 4, 2012 By 1 Comment

Make this a Mother's Day Neither of You'll Forget

A Community Garden

I have been meaning to post about this for about a week now – but with the week I’ve had, I’ve had to write notes on Post Its that say, “Breathe.”  Occasionally I see the reminder and breathe.

When I have time.

But as I’ve always said, when we’re our busiest, we should be our happiest.  Grateful to be alive and healthy enough to be busy and thankful to have things to keep us busy.  Even when it’s ridiculously busy.

Breathe.

Mother’s Day is just around the proverbial corner and you’re probably thinking about gifts for one of the most special people in your life right about now.   I hope you’ll read the information below (and visit the links of interest) and take the opportunity to touch your mother’s life as you also touch other lives.

Mom wouldn’t have it any other way.

You can give your mother something she’ll treasure as you help those who need it most. The Community Garden Rescue Gift is spot-on for the mom with a green thumb, for example, and the Emergency Food for Children Rescue Gift is a beautiful way to thank the mom who always kept her kids well-fed and nourished.

This Mother’s Day, family and friends can delight the moms in their lives with a gift that gets to the heart of motherhood – a Rescue Gift.

Rescue Gifts like Emergency Food for Children ($68), a Community Garden ($60), and a Flock of Chickens ($30) are symbolic gifts that represent – and support – the very real work of the International Rescue Committee (IRC). The IRC protects and empowers mothers and their families whose lives have been disrupted and uprooted by conflict or natural disaster around the world. Gift-givers can choose the Rescue Gift with the most meaning for their mother – including several with a food focus – and dedicate it in her honor. We send gift recipients a beautiful personalized print or digital card to let them know how their Rescue Gift contributes to vital supplies and services for vulnerable people struggling to endure.

Plus, shoppers who spend $75 or more will receive a stylish “Rescue” T-shirt designed and donated by Threads 4 Thought, or they can opt to have it sent as a gift.

“The Walking Dead” star, IRC Voice and proud mom Sarah Wayne Callies is endorsing Rescue Gifts and giving Maternal Health Care ($52) this Mother’s Day. Following a recent trip to see the IRC at work in Ban Mai Nai Soi, a refugee camp along the Thai/Myanmar border, she said,

“I had my child with a midwife and I could not see any difference in the quality and the thoroughness of the care the women were getting at Ban Mai Nai Soi and the quality and thoroughness of the care I received … Even the little scale they were using to weigh the babies was exactly the same scale my midwife brought to my house, stuck my kid in, and hung up. It was amazing to see.”

While flowers wilt and chocolates melt, “Rescue Gifts” have a lasting impact and are perfect for:

The socially conscious giver or receiver: Rescue Gifts make a real difference for people in need.

The eco-conscious giver or receiver: Rescue Gifts have a minimal carbon footprint and there’s no need to worry about wrapping paper.

The financially prudent shopper:  Rescue Gifts offer real value at every price point, from Mosquito Nets ($18) to Community Health Worker Training ($335).

The last-minute shopper: E-Cards for Rescue Gifts bought on Mother’s Day can be delivered right away.

About the International Rescue Committee: A global leader in humanitarian assistance since 1933, the International Rescue Committee works in more than 40 countries offering help and hope to refugees and others uprooted by disaster, conflict and oppression. During crises, IRC teams provide health care, shelter, clean water, sanitation, learning programs for children and special aid for women. As emergencies subside, the IRC stays to revive livelihoods and help shattered communities recover and rebuild. The IRC also helps resettle refugees given sanctuary in the United States. A tireless advocate for the most vulnerable, the IRC is committed to restoring hope, dignity and opportunity. For more information visit www.rescue.org.

Filed Under: Make a Difference, Relationships

Quote About Paying it Forward

February 27, 2012 By 4 Comments

Sail Beyond the Horizon!

Kentucky Lake at Lighthouse Landing

Beautiful Kentucky Lake

“Sail beyond the horizon; fly higher than you ever thought possible; magnify your existence by helping others; be kind to people and animals of all shapes and sizes; be true to what you value most; shine your light on the world; and be the person you were born to be.” Blake Beattie

 

Filed Under: Daily Quote, Make a Difference Tagged With: ,

In Praise, High Praise, of Slowing Down

November 16, 2011 By 4 Comments

Attention to Detail Can Save More Than Just Time

Jelly Bean, a sweet and beautiful black cat.

Over the past two weeks, I’ve been reminded of the importance of slowing down and giving your entire attention and focus to what’s at hand. I’ve also become a HUGE fan of checking and double-checking, even when you’re 99.9 percent certain there’s no need to check even once. Doing so probably saved a very sweet cat’s life.

First off, let’s get something straight, I’m not a “go slow and be cautious” kind of gal. I’m a card-carrying “fly by the seat of your pants” kind of gal.  The kind who walks fast, talks fast, types fast, and challenges everyone and everything to keep up.  So, slowing down and scrutinizing details doesn’t come natural to me.  However, after living with my husband (who’s typing fingers, walking shoes, and words never seem to be in much of a hurry) for going on 28 years, I’ve picked up some of his country boy ways.

Slow down. Pay attention to what you’re doing. Check and double-check.

Sometimes when we’re in a parking lot and he grabs my hand in an effort to slow me down, I want to kick him in the seat of his pants. But I’d have to walk backwards to catch him.  I thought about his effect on me in this regard a few days ago and the last thing I wanted to do was kick him.  I realized I owed such a debt to him that the feeling of relief has yet to fade away.

At the risk of rambling (Who? Me?), I have to set the stage.  We live in a rural area that happens to be behind a gate (the gate’s probably a 1/2 a mile from our house).  From the window in front of my computer desk, I can see the gate, so I know when someone’s there. Usually the UPS man leaves our packages in a certain spot, but lately we’ve had a “fill in” that tends to turn around and take off.  Since we’ve got packages coming regularly for Christmas, I’m keeping a keen eye out.

The day before yesterday, I saw the UPS man pull up to the gate and ran out the door in my house shoes and jumped in my vehicle to go stop him from getting away.

As you probably know, we have 4 cats (3 outside and 1 inside).  It’s been chilly, so the outside cats have been staying in their various cat houses or even in the garage.  Even when they do occasionally get under the vehicles, they sprint out as soon as a door’s opened.

As I threw myself into the driver’s seat, I took a quick mental inventory of where I’d seen my cats (just minutes ago).  The two girls were in sight, by the carport door and I was 99 percent sure the sweet boy cat (Jelly Bean) was still in his favorite cat house, where I’d seen him only about 10 minutes ago.  As I saw the UPS man beginnng to swing around, I thought, “I’m just going to double check…” and I hopped out, got on all fours and looked under the vehicle.  Sure enough, there was my chubby, solid black, much beloved Jelly Bean SOUND asleep – right behind a front tire.  He didn’t even wake up when I called his name.

One of those nights, I guess.

I lured him out and took off for the UPS man, ironically enough, thinking, “Slow down for crying out loud! What’s your freakin’ hurry?”

I’ve been thinking a lot since then.  If I had ran over my sweet chubby faced cat that day I’m not sure I would have ever recovered.  My vehicle is a big heavy thing and he would have, undoubtedly, been killed.  I cannot even imagine the feelings I would have had if the unthinkable had happened.  It’d take another animal lover to understand when I say that it’s something I would have lived with forever.  Jelly Bean was a feral kitten that I won over with endless patience and even more love.  In the picture above (in his thinner days!), I was as close as I could get to him. He’s now a big baby who trust me completely. He purrs loudly as soon as I even look at him.  Such a sweetheart.

Thanks be to God – and to the influence of country boys who refuse to get in a hurry about anything – the scenario ended with one caught UPS man, two delivered packages, one relived cat mom, and (most importantly) one safe and unharmed black cat who isn’t so unlucky after all.  Can you even imagine the cat treats he got that day???

On a lesser… make that much lesser… level, I have also dropped the ball a couple of times lately.  I’m sure it’s because my mind is on Thanksgiving recipes, Christmas gifts, and cookies but I’ve made a couple of STUPID spelling errors and little goofs online lately.  Ironically, one was even a huge pet peeve of mine.  I forget the details (because they’re too horrifying to remember for someone who has always had a love affair with grammar) but I sent a tweet out in which I used “there” instead of “their.”  I happened to catch it several days later and was mortified.

Yes, silly to be mortified by such a thing, but I’m obsessive about things like that. Allowing myself to get in a hurry and not taking the time to slow down and double check led to a regret.  That almost always happens, doesn’t it?

This post is simply to serve as a reminder for everyone to take pains to slow down and double check what’s going on around you.  We live in a society that’s so fast-paced right now, it’s almost on hyper drive.  Think about it, people get ticked off if they have to wait in a drive through for more than 3 minutes!

I’m convinced a lot of grief could be spared if we just learned to slow down and live completely in the moment.  At worst we’ll spare ourselves embarrassment, at most we’ll save a life.

Filed Under: Animal Protection, Self Awareness

Be Who You Are, Say What You Feel

November 7, 2011 By 2 Comments

It's Never Wrong to Be Y-O-U!

A Peacock Spreads its Feathers at the Alipore Zoo
Peacock
Buy This at Allposters.com

Have you ever stopped to think about the peacock? He doesn’t look like other birds. He doesn’t act like other birds.  He doesn’t put on a facade or try to hide who he is, though. In fact, he downright celebrates it. Each day is a holiday for a peacock because he wakes up as himself.   His self confidence, pride, and even arrogance make him one of of the most beautiful things on earth.  He doesn’t just accept his originality. He doesn’t just embrace his originality.  He struts his originality. Man, I love that.

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”- Dr. Seuss

Last night my husband and I were talking a little bit about our daughters. We were, to be quite honest, counting our blessings that the biggest dramas we’ve ever had to worry about with our girls are things like too much self-tanning, not eating enough vegetables, creative use of makeup, and the fact that one of them drives like her mother (okay, admittedly, that’s a pretty big drama). We’ve never had any “huge” worries or problems (drinking, drugs, or even cigarettes) and, believe me, we thank God every morning, noon, and night. We could not have asked for better daughters and our pride in them could light up an entire continent.

After my husband fell asleep, I stayed awake for about 20 minutes – just thinking , while petting Alexa (our diva cat). One of the things I’m most proud of when it comes to my girls is the fact that they are who they are and they say what they think – NO APOLOGIES. Each one is at the steering wheel of her own life and Heaven help the fool that tries to take the wheel out of their hands.

I’ve seen that attempt made and it’s never pretty. There have been casualties and I’m sure there’ll be more.  They learned at an early point in life that if someone can’t accept you for who you are, they aren’t worth your time. As Marilyn Monroe said, “If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”

Our middle daughter, Brittany, went through a phase where she wore black – as in only black.  Here she was one of the most colorful little girls you’d ever want to be around (colorful personality, colorful sense of humor) and she wore one color. Black. As her mother, I was proud that she wore what she wanted to wear in spite of the ribbing she got from some people.  Deep down I had a lot of respect for this child who decided what she wanted to wear and refused to be swayed.  When shopping for my beautiful girls, at that time, I’d buy yellows, oranges, and reds for Stephany, blues, whites, and more blues for Emily and for Brittany? Black.  I never tried to talk her down off of her black cliff, I simply bought her the cutest black clothes I could find.

I knew it’d pass, but I wanted her to know that I loved her and accepted her for who she was and, what’s more, I respected her choices. Having said that, I did a little happy dance the first day she ran (she never walked, she always ran) through the house wearing an orange t-shirt she’d dug out of the back of her closet.  Emily and I did a double-take at the orange streak. The black phase was officially over.

Developing a strong will in young people may seem counterproductive.  When they’re small, parents want them to “DO AS I SAY” right now and every single time after that. Many parents seem to think the goal is to BREAK their will.  Big, dumb, colossal, stupid mistake.  You want your kids to grow up with a backbone – you want them to have a strong enough will to say NO when the time arises.  When others around them pick up the wrong kind of drink, you want your sons and daughters to pick up the right kind of  drink.

When others around them do drugs, you want your child to head for the door.

In the end, when others tell them, “You’re different.” – You want your little girl or little boy to say, “Damn right I’m different!”

You know me and my obsession with inspirational quotes, right?  It won’t come as a surprise that, when our daughters were little, I had them memorize a lot of great quotes in home school. One of the first ones they ever learned was one of my absolute favorites: “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”  Dr. Seuss said these magical words and I never leave home without them.

Be who you are!  Socrates said, “To find yourself, think for yourself.”  More magical words!  Don’t let anyone else think for you. Don’t let them dress you, do your hair, choose your major, pick your job, plan your time, or put words into your mouth.  If you think you have to be someone you’re not to “hold on” to someone, ask yourself if they’re even worth hanging on to.  You don’t want to go through life with a facade on any more than you’d want to go through life with a mask on.

Be you. Stay You. If anyone ever tries to get you to budge, look at them like they have two heads and neither one works for you.

Filed Under: Helping Children, Self Awareness, Self Confidence Tagged With: , ,

An Open Plea to Help Young People

October 17, 2011 By 2 Comments

Before We Lose Another Precious Young Life

Goose

I was in the midst of writing a post on this very self help blog, about something entirely different, when one of my news alerts took my mind and heart completely away from where they were.

Truth be told, I’d give almost anything if they’d never been uprooted.  More to the point, if there’d been no reason for them to be uprooted.

The news story was about another precious young person who committed suicide. He was a beautiful 15 year old boy who happened to be gay. Subjected to bullying and succumbing to depression, he took his own life. If you think you can handle the heartbreak, you can read his story here.

I’ve written about tolerance on Self Help Daily before and I’ve written scathing words about bullying and shaken my cyber finger at bullies. This post doesn’t even qualify as a post. It’s not an article.  It’s not a review.

What is it? A plea.

As someone who loves young people so much it hurts, I’d simply like to beg any and all people who are smarter than me, have more power and influence than me, and more resources available to them to DO SOMETHING PLEASE.  We all seem to be focusing so much attention on the bullies, but maybe we should turn our attention more to the bullied. If we could get inside their heads and find out what they need, what sort of support would help them – maybe we could find the solution.

Think about the organizations we have that have become household names and organizations with colors and/or logos that leave lasting effects.  Think about all the good that these organizations have done:

  • PETA
  • Breast Cancer Awareness
  • The American Heart Association

Those of us who support these organizations are proud to do so – we feel as though we are part of a strong and powerful community and we take pride in doing our part.  In a clumsy, forgive-me-but-its-hard-to-think-with-tears-in-your-eyes blundering way, I’m simply asking for someone to step up and find a way to help these kids. If you think that something is being done for them already, I’d quickly tell you that it isn’t enough. Obviously. I just wish I knew what could be done to reach out to kids who don’t love themselves enough to want to live any longer.

Can you imagine hating yourself so much that you want to murder yourself?  Neither can I but the thought breaks my heart.

One thing that we can all do is to control what we say and so… as well as what we laugh at.  Adults should be especially careful what they say and how they treat the subject of homosexuality around their kids. If (for crying out loud) the adult doesn’t want to do it for other kids, he or she should keep in mind that if they raise an intolerant bully – he or she may one day end up in prison.

I know I’m all over the place here, and I’m sure you’ll forgive me, but do you know what I absolutely cannot stand? People who lash out against these kids and say they’re doing so because of God. Seriously!?!?! God isn’t about hating people, He’s about loving them.  If the love of God is in you…. truly in you… you’ll be the sort of person who loves others. You’ll be the sort of person who doesn’t want to see young people hurting.  You certainly wouldn’t want to be the sort of person who causes the pain.

If you are part of a movement or an organization that wants to help these kids – or if you’re trying to get something off the ground, I would dearly love to hear from you.  Self Help Daily would love to do whatever it can… whatever I can… to help.

As a Christian, as a mother, as a human being, I don’t want to see another news alert like this ever again. Let’s help these precious kids in whatever way we can.

Filed Under: Helping Children, Make a Difference Tagged With: ,

How to Turn Your Lofty Resolutions into Lovely Reality

August 5, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Concentration, Iteration, and Vigorous Assertion

How to keep daily Goals and Resolutions

I love Thursday Throwback posts on the Self Help Blog!  As a book lover, I get a special thrill out of reaching back into the distant past and retrieving a piece of brilliance left for us.  When they wrote these wonderful words, the authors, no doubt, hoped that the words would reach as many people as possible.  That’s why I LOVE to see others doing their best to keep old books that are in the public domain alive and well.   Riches untold lie in the books that are lying around in attics and musky used book stores.  The authors would want their words dusted off, revived, and put in front of a whole new generation.

Whenever I type in one of these articles or excerpts from great authors of the past, I always imagine them walking the earth today, alive again and teaching as always! I try to imagine what they’d make of our dress, the way we talk, our progress in many areas, and cars!! Can you imagine what’d they’d think of today’s cars?  I’m obsessed with the idea of bringing them back to teach and inspire us, so I’ll turn the post over to one of my favorite self help authors of yesterday, Grenville Kleiser.  The following article appeared in one of Kleiser’s books (from 1917), Inspiration and Ideals.  As always with Thursday Throwbacks, I’ll remind you that I”m typing the words in just as they are written in the book from 1917!

Put Your Ideas Into Practice

by Grenville Kleiser

Make more positive resolutions regarding the things you ought to do. Bring every available reinforcement to bear upon such resolutions.  Write down on a card the special things you resolve to do, and read it several times a day.  Repeat it aloud at frequent intervals.  Assert in vigorous tones of voice the thoughts you wish to establish as unconscious habits of your life.  The best means of impressing new resolutions upon your mind is by concentration, iteration, and vigorous assertion.

At the close of every day review your thoughts and actions, and know precisely what you have done with your new resolutions. It is a great thing to conceive a great idea, but it is still greater to put it into execution.

- From Inspiration and Ideals by Grenville Kleiser, 1917

It’s funny, isn’t it. When we think of the word RESOLUTIONS, we think of New Year’s Day.  Yet, resolutions are simply things we’ve resolved to do or keep from doing. We can (and certainly should) make resolutions all year – not just at the first.  If we, as Kleiser suggests, wrote these resolutions down on index cards and confronted them several times a day (as opposed to writing them down at the fist of the year, and never looking at them again!), we’d stand a much better chance of turning them from resolutions into reality.

Resolutions, or goals, should be made often and confronted daily.  The Grenville article above was plucked from a book in which he gave advice and motivation for each day of the year – much like devotions.  This particular one actually fell on the date March 7 – far removed from New Year’s Day.  Just a reminder that we need to think about self improvement and growth every day of the year, not just the first one.

“The best means of impressing new resolutions upon your mind is by concentration, iteration, and vigorous assertion.” – Grenville Kleiser

 

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