From the category archives:

Must Reads

While I was making an outstanding Peanut Butter Sheet Cake (I’ll have the recipe up on my food blog today – trust me, you’ll want this one in the worst way) yesterday, my mind went on one of its famous wandering expeditions.  I found myself deliberating in a lot of different neighborhoods:

  • A movie my husband and I saw Friday – SALT.  It stars my favorite actress, Angelina Jolie, so naturally we saw it on opening night.  Awesome movie! I debated whether or not I liked it as well as or better than Mr. and Mrs. Smith and Wanted.  I decided that SALT was one of her 2 best movies to date.  With that dilemma solved, the brain headed off in a different direction.
  • Why can’t rice cakes have a gazillion calories and cake, cookies, pies, fudge, etc have virtually nil.  Why can’t it be a world where Bob Harper and Jillian Michaels say, “Calories in… Calories out… Eat all the peanut butter fudge and cheesecake you want, but if you even touch a rice cake – I’ll know and I’ll know.  I’ll yell. You’ll cry.”
  • Why do pets ever have to die? One of my outside cats died a few days ago.  Fortunately my youngest daughter’s boyfriend buried him for me.  Pets dying just seems so unnecessary and cruel.  Why can’t our pets just live and live and live…  This little guy (“Scratch”) was one of the sweetest-natured cats we’ve ever had. I’d just look at him and he’d start purring.  When I petted him or talked baby talk to him (yes, I’m one of those cat lovers), forget about it – his body would nearly explode with purring.  Love him muchly. Miss him terribly.
  • Why are the St. Louis Cardinals shopping around for more pitchers when pitching isn’t our weakness this year.  Wev’e got 3 of the best starting pitchers in all of baseball, a guy in the bullpen (Motte) that’s scary good, and a few other relievers who’d be equally scary good if they got more work – but with starting pitchers like Adam Wainwright, Chris Carpenter, and Jamie Garcia – sometimes they’re like Maytag repairmen out there.

My final thoughts were centered around people who seemingly love to help others.  Not just the ones who come through for others, but the ones who come through and don’t resent it.  A lot about Rusty ( he’s daughter #3′s boyfriend) reminds me of my husband. They’re hard workers with great senses of humor.  They had to overcome difficult childhoods and don’t seem to harbor the slightest bit of bitterness.

Rusty also has a trait that reminds me of my mom (and a trait I certainly hope I possess).  He is always incredibly willing to do whatever he can to help other people.  Not just willing – downright happy about it!  My mom was the same way.  She’d do everything in her means – and often beyond her means – to help someone… anyone… who needed it.  Smiled the whole time doing it.  The only thing she seemed sorry about or seemed to regret was that she couldn’t do more.   She never complained.  In addition to working full-time in the school system, she worked with and volunteered for the local Red Cross, the Lion’s Club, and the Salvation Army.  I remember countless times she’d come home and tell me about the children she’d helped during the day.  She didn’t name names, of course, but I heard all about the underprivileged  little girls and boys who she’d taken to doctors, optometrists, dentists, etc.  She’d tell how excited they were when she took them to McDonald’s, Dairy Queen, or Wendy’s.

Sometimes these precious little babies – born without a plastic spoon let alone a silver spoon – would mention to her that they didn’t have this or they wish they had that.  If these things were within her reach, they soon had just what they needed – whether it was a pair of gloves, a notebook, a backpack, rain boots, pajamas, etc.

She didn’t go to any agency for the funds.  She went to her own purse.  Being able to help others who needed it made her smile more than just about anything.  She only frowned and only complained when she couldn’t do more.

She was even more generous to her family.  All of us knew that if we needed anything in the world, she’d be there for us, smiling the whole time.  She was a giver and relished the role.

As I glazed the peanut butter cake, my thoughts finally wrapped themselves up with this:  Our homes, our families, our communities, and our world would all be a lot better off if there were more joyful givers amongst us.  If more people smiled when they helped others – rather than looking around for pats on the back, accolades, or praise.  If, rather than feeling sorry for themselves, more people saved their compassion for others.

My daughter had gotten Rusty out of bed to bury Scratch for me.  He’d just been in bed for a few hours (after working a night shift).  He walked around my yard with me, looking for just the right spot.  He even found a perfect little box and carefully dug a large whole in the merciless heat.

When he was through I began telling him how grateful I was but he stopped me.  He just said, You know I was happy to do it.

And I did know.  I also know something else, I’d never have heard the end of it if I’d attempted to do it myself!

I guess the ambitions of this post are simple:  To make people more aware of what’s going on in the lives of the people around them. Stop worrying so much about how many hours a week you work, how little sleep you got last night, or how “burdened” you believe yourself to be.

Take a good look around. Look at other people’s needs. Ask yourself what you can do to touch the lives of other people.  Of course, if you’re one of those people who resent doing anything for anyone else, you’d be better off watching the grass grow.

The world doesn’t need any more selfish people – it has plenty.  The world needs more selfless people – it hasn’t nearly enough.

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Ever Wonder what your brain craves on the weekend? Find out in the newest article on Out of Bounds.

As I’ve said before on Self Help Daily and Out of Bounds, I’m hooked on The Skinny On books by Jim Randel. They’re extremely fun to read, they look colorful and wickedly handsome on your desk and shelves, the illustrations leave you smiling inside-out, and they’re absolutely packed with great information, advice and tips.

The most recent Skinny book I’ve read is The Skinny on Time Management: How to Maximize Your 24-Hour Gift.

“Time Management.”

The phrase, alone, conjures up a host of reactions, doesn’t it?  From “Time Management? Is there really such a beast?” to “Time management? Where do I get me some of that?!” -  and every reaction in between, one thing’s for sure, you hardly ever hear anyone say,”I’m an expert at time management.  In fact, I think there are too many hours in the day…”

If anyone ever did say that, I’d be tempted to kick them in the shin.  The warning has been issued.

The Skinny on Time Management: How to Maximize Your 24-Hour Gift by Jim Randel is presented in a way that can actually be read in one hour. There’s little doubt in my mind that this is true. I, however, am not a good example. I enjoyed my advance copy (sent to review on Self Help Daily) in the front yard one evening – between a bird feeding station and flower garden. I kept taking time to reflect on what I’d read by staring at butterflies, hummingbirds, golden finches, and the like.

When I read, I like to mentally digest each nugget of information and each Jim Randel book is packed with golden nuggets. I also keep a notebook and pen nearby to jot down notes or ideas as they come to me. A few times I was so furiously taking notes that the butterflies and birds were watching me.

The hurrier I go, the more I fall behind. – Anonymous

As I always state in my book reviews, it’s especially hard to give a book review for a book (or series of books) that blow me straight away. If I”m lukewarm on a book or simply like it, it’s easy – I just say so. I give the link, I pull out a quote or two and that’s that. If I don’t like the book, it’s even easier – I pretend the whole thing never happened and forget that the book and I ever met…. as in zero review. Zero mention.

Well, you can’t mention something that never happened.

However, when it’s a book that I’d dearly love to see all of you read, it’s a bit of a dilemma. How can I stress upon you the magnificence of a book without giving away key points, ideas, and advice from the book? I’ve read some book reviews that pretty much give away the entire heart of a book – to me, as a book lover extraordinaire, that’s almost a criminal act. The true beauty of a book lies in the nuggets that are experienced, first-hand, by the reader.

Someone once suggested that I pluck out one key element and present it. While I use this approach most of the time, I do so with hesitation – after all, what if every book reviewer plucked out a different element? Then the precious book would be all but given away online!

Nothing worse than a worry-wart-book-worm.

Time is the coin of life. Only you can determine how it will be spent. – Carl Sandburg

If time management is a concern for you, your solution is one click away. In The Skinny on Time Management: How to Maximize Your 24-Hour Gift, Jim Randel has done all of the work for us. He has researched the topic at great length – reading the giants in the field of time management. He then brilliantly presents what he has uncovered in an entertaining yet highly informative presentation.

You’ll find tips, advice, quotes, recommendations, and simple ideas to help you get the most from your 24 hours.

I was delighted to read that Jim Randel is an advocate of to do lists – I live by my to do lists! However, the author takes to do lists to a whole new level of productivity with a few simple tactics that make all the difference. I’ve already implemented a few of the tips I picked up from The Skinny on Time Management: How to Maximize Your 24-Hour Gift and I’ve been extremely impressed.

I have, as you may know, many blogs and websites. With all the other hats I wear offline (mother, wife, avid cook, bird watcher, baseball fanatic… come on Cardinals…. movie addict, gardener…), this leaves me without a lot of leeway in the amount of time I have to work with each day. Time management has always been a huge issue with me.

In fact, when the e-mail came through, asking if I’d be interested in an advance copy of this book to review, I was having one of “those” days and couldn’t help laughing at the irony. A lot of us laugh when we’re about to completely crack.

I have been using the tactics and ideas from The Skinny on Time Management: How to Maximize Your 24-Hour Gift for nearly a week and am blown away with the impact it has had.

I have found myself able to accomplish more – and one of the main reasons can be attributed to what Jim Randel advises to do with one’s to do list…. a little classification tweak that has made a world of difference for me.

And I believe it will for you as well.

For less than what you’d pay to eat out, you can buy a book that can lead you to being able to afford more meals out.

The Skinny on Time Management:

  • Learn how to improve your memory with 10 outstanding tips.
  • Learn how improving your memory will improve your time management.
  • Learn the importance of To Do lists.
  • Learn how to make your To Do list work for you like never before.
  • Using your hours to maximum effectiveness.
  • What INERTIA is and the evil role it plays.
  • Organization tips and strategies.
  • A link to a fun, online self-assessment test to determine how well you manage your time.
  • How to determine how you are budgeting your time currently.
  • Habits, quadrants, and sequences… oh my!
  • Techniques for time management.
  • You’ll learn how to Live on 24 Hours a Day.

You simply will not find more delightful books than those written by Jim Randel in The Skinny On series.  Come on, you know me!  I’m the person book worms look up to.  I read a great deal of books and am familiar with what’s out there.  The Skinny On books can’t be topped.

I strongly urge you to grab a copy of The Skinny On Time Management today.  Then, I further urge you to grab copies of the rest in the Skinny On series.

I resolve to live with all my might while I do live. I resolve never to lose one moment of time and to improve my use of time in the most profitable way I possibly can. I resolve never to do anything I wouldn’t do, if it were the last hour of my life. – Jonathan Edwards

To order your copy today, go to The Skinny on Time Management: How to Maximize Your 24-Hour Gift – it’ll rank up there with being one of the smartest things you did this year.

More quotes about Time and Time Management.

Choices as Viewed by Max Lucado

by joi on July 3, 2010

I choose patience . . .

I will overlook the inconveniences of the world. Instead of cursing the one who takes my place, I’ll invite him to do so. Rather than complain that the wait is too long, I will thank God for a moment to pray. Instead of clinching my fist at new assignments, I will face them with joy and courage.

I choose kindness . . .

I will be kind to the poor, for they are alone. Kind to the rich, for they are afraid. And kind to the unkind, for such is how God has treated me.

I choose goodness . . .

I will go without a dollar before I take a dishonest one. I will be overlooked before I will boast. I will confess before I will accuse. I choose goodness.

I choose faithfulness . . .

Today I will keep my promises. My debtors will not regret their trust. My associates will not question my word. My wife will not question my love. And my children will never fear that their father will not come home.

I choose gentleness . . .

Nothing is won by force. I choose to be gentle. If I raise my voice may it be only in praise. If I clench my fist, may it be only in prayer. If I make a demand, may it be only of myself.

The above passage, one of the most beautiful and powerful passages ever written by a human hand, is from When God Whispers Your  Name by one of the greatest authors of all time, Max Lucado.  Mr. Lucado eloquently points out the importance of the choices we make.

The choices we make… daily…. hourly… define who we become.  In the end, they “identify” us to everyone around us.  We make the choice, and then the choice makes us.

No choice is so small that it shouldn’t warrant careful thought.  Very careful thought. One of the reasons for this is that we are – and always have been – creatures of habit.  In the morning, my husband or I, one, (depending on which climbed out of bed first and which one tried to steal 5 more minutes of shut eye) walk directly to the coffee pot and turn it on.  As the beautiful sound of coffee being created and the intoxicating aroma of said production fills the kitchen, we walk to the windows and open the blinds – letting the sunshine in as we watch the birds at the bird feeders.

All of this is done almost on auto pilot.  Our morning habits became so ROUTINE that they can almost carry themselves out without us.  Truth be told, we probably just get in the way.

Our morning habits aren’t unlike any other habits because that’s what habits do – they become ROUTINE.  They become FIXED.  They’re like permanent tattoos inked onto our lives.

Now tell me they aren’t worth careful thought and consideration.

If habits are going to become a permanent fixture in our life, shouldn’t we hold them accountable?  Shouldn’t we demand that our habits be the type of habits that will make us better people.  Smarter people.  More successful people. More giving people.  People funner to be around.  People who make the world a better place….

Spend a little time thinking about your own choices.  What habits are these choices creating and what impact are they having on your life? Your relationships? Your health? Your happiness?  Your future?

Your legacy?

Go back to the top of this post and re-read Max Lucado’s beautiful words.  How do your choices measure up?   If they fall short, congratulations…. you’re human!  However, you’re an intelligent human (after all, you’re on Self Help Daily – you’re top of  the line) and you realize that it’s never too late to break a bad habit and it’s never too soon to pick up a good one.  It’s always the right time to take a closer look at the choices you make.

Get in touch with your choices and be mindful of future choices.  They’re dictating your life – choose them wisely.

Also See Max Lucado Quotes

First of all, before getting to any sort of other thoughts or tangents, a happy belated Happy Father’s Day to my wonderful husband and all of the other dads out there.  I was busy cooking for my special guy all day yesterday (Grilled hot dogs and baked beans for lunch, Spinach Manicotti and Garlic Bread for supper and a mulit-layered cake from scratch with lemon fruit filling between the layers – frosted with my favorite fluffy frosting recipe… serious YUM!) for dessert.  Then I collapsed (along with a few of the golfers) and watched a little golf with him.

For obvious reasons, I didn’t get by Self Help Daily to wish you guys a happy day yesterday – so here are your dues today… Happy Father’s Day!

A few of my daughters and I have been talking a lot about relationships lately.  So, I figured since my thoughts were already headed in that direction, I’d just run with it.  Whether you’re still looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right or you’ve found your soul mate, you know how very, very important it is to choose wisely.

Jackson Brown said it best, “Choose your life mate wisely because from that one decision will come 90% of your future happiness or misery.”  So. True.

Young people (and even not so young!) often have the wrong priorities when looking for their life partner. If you base your relationship solely on money or solely on attraction, you’ll soon learn that if someone doesn’t have more than a full bank account or a beautiful face going for them, they’re of little worth – to you or themselves.

I wish I could sit down and talk with every girl, boy, woman, or man who’s looking for that special person.  I wish I could write down Jackson Brown’s outstanding quote and frame it for them.   Getting inside their head with this truth would do one of two things:

  1. Help them avoid making the biggest mistake of their life.
  2. Help them make the smartest decision of their life.

Forget money, forget strong shoulders, forget beautiful eyes, forget beautiful smiles, even forget a laugh that makes you laugh right along with them – even when you don’t get the joke.  You have to make certain that the person you commit yourself to spend your life with is your soul mate.  You have to be certain that this is the person that will bring you happiness, peace, and joy.

He or she has to be the person that will make any apartment, house, or trailer feel like Heaven on earth.

Make no mistake about it, you’ll have arguments.  If, that is, you’re both humans and not sheep.  You’ll have some doozies, mark it down!  You’ll yell, you’ll stomp around, and you’ll (at times) make a perfect fool of yourself.  These things happen when people love one another…. comes with the territory.  Keeps things interesting.

When I think of the words Soul Mate, I think of my husband – I guess it’d pretty much suck if I didn’t.  My husband, Michael, is my blue-eyed proof of Jackson Brown’s quote.  See, I think a soul mate should be someone who “jives” with you, someone who speaks your language even when you aren’t speaking.  He/she should “get” you and respect you even when they may not see eye to eye with you.

A soul mate should be ready to stand beside you, even when you’re wrong – and dare anyone to say the words out loud.

Here’s one of the things I adore most about my husband:  He lets me be me.  He doesn’t try to change me or make me feel bad for my quirks (I have a collection of them, but that’s another article.).  You may have guessed by now – but I’m the poster child for animal lovers.  If I could, I would surround myself with about 20 of every kind of animal known to exist.

I’ve always been this way.  When we first met, Michael didn’t have any pets whatsoever.  I quickly took care of that.

Over the years, I’ve subjected this man to countless cats, dogs, and birds. Strays are drawn to me like bees to honey.  Whenever a new dog or cat has ever come into our yard, the process never deviates:

  1. I rush out to welcome (and name) the new family member.
  2. Michael quietly heads off to the store for dog food or more cat food.

He isn’t what you’d necessarily call a “dog person” but not long ago two beautiful, frisky, adorable black dogs came into our yard.  He  went for food.

When my mom passed away, we took in her adorable dog Wednesday.  Michael and Wednesday became the best of buddies and took walks each night.  I’m not sure which one of them looked forward to them more, but I suspect that he was the one with just two legs.

The thing is, if you want to have a happy life – one filled with laughter, smiles, peace, and love – choose the individual you’ll spend your life with more carefully than you’ve ever chosen anything.

  • Choose the person who makes you smile even when you’re down.  Stay away from the person who brings you down even when you’re smiling.
  • Choose the person who makes you feel good about yourself.  Stay away from the person who makes you feel bad about yourself – as though you don’t quite measure up.
  • Choose the person who fits in well with your family.  Avoid the person who ridicules your family, causes tension, or tries to start trouble.  So not worth it.
  • Choose the person who makes life fun! Avoid the person who seems to be allergic to fun and laughter.
  • Choose the person who has similar interests to your own.  Sure, you need to have individual interests as well (I’ll never be a golfer any sooner than my husband will be a baker), but you should have plenty of things in common.  If you don’t, you’ll never have anything to talk about!
  • Choose the person who respects you, your opinions, your beliefs, and what you stand for.  Avoid the person who’s looking for a clone of themselves. Give them a mirror and send them on their way.

If you, like me, have already found your soul mate, you might want to pause for a while and just think about how lucky you are.  It’s a pretty rare thing, you know.

Choose your life mate wisely because from that one decision will come 90% of your future happiness or misery.”  – Jackson Brown

I’m a firm believer that you can learn something from every single person you meet – and often even those you don’t meet.  I’m the sort of person who wants to learn something new and/or be inspired and motivated as many times as possible during the day.  Whether I’m reading a favorite magazine, blog posts, Twitter updates, or watching something on television. My “live to learn” antenna is up at all times!

Case in point:  This morning, I was reading a story on one of my favorite websites – Prevention.com.   The story profiled 5 finalists in the 2010 Picture of Health competition. 5 finalists – 5 motivating and inspiring hits to the antenna. I’ll hit the highs with these finalists below, so you can be inspired by them as much as I have been.

Paula Bruchhaus (43 – on the far right in the picture above), from Florida, is an elementary school teacher who lost 80 pounds and inspired her students to fall in love with running. “We’re not all going to be super fast or strong, but our goal is simply to improve,” Bruchhaus tells her students. “It is possible to change simply by eating healthy and exercising.” Her kids have run in marathons and over the years have raised $25,000 for charity.

I love that she’s reaching out to kids and to her community. She improved her own life and now has her mind set on improving other’s lives as well.

Dawn Forgione (51 – on the far left in the picture above), also from Florida, has had her fair share of scrapes and bruises, literally. She endured serious injuries, including 40 stitches to her face and knocked-out teeth, after a bad bike spill while training for a 150-mile charity ride. That was apparently one of her better days.

She has also faced bouts of cervical dysplasia, endometriosis (which led to multiple surgeries and ultimately a radical hysterectomy), knee surgery, two hip replacements, and breast and skin cancer.

Instead of sitting around feeling sorry for herself, she has been a busy girl! She has helped many organizations through the years, such as the American Cancer Society, the Children’s Cancer Caring Center in Miami, and the March of Dimes. “I love to be a positive role model and show others that a diagnosis is not a death sentence.” Those words just jumped off the screen at me – A diagnosis is not a death sentence. I’d say that she made diagnosis a life sentence! You. Go. Girl.

Linda Goff (42 – second from right in the picture above), from Missouri, once weighed over 300 pounds. She realized that her eating habits were setting a bad example for her kids and her weight wasn’t doing her marriage any favors. She prayed for the courage to take the first step —and it worked. A switch flipped, and by exercising and eating right, she went from a size 26 to 6.

Today, Goff says she feels better than she did at 25. She helps counsel weight loss support groups at the hospital, gym, and church. “I want to let people know that good choices are just like bad ones—they can become lifelong habits too.

There were several things that stood out to me in Linda Goff’s story:

  1. She knew that it would all begin with a first step – the same place everything begins…. step number 1.
  2. Her quote about good choices becoming lifelong habits just like bad ones is a complete and total lesson in itself.  What’s more, it’s as much a self improvement lesson as it is a physical fitness lesson.  Anything we want to change in our lives can be cone by making good choices – then doing it again and again and again until these good choices become good habits.

Kristi Marsh (39 – the young lady in the middle in the picture above), from Massachusetts, found a lump in her breast when she was 35 years old. She was diagnosed with an aggressive kind of breast cancer, but didn’t cave under the pressure.  What’s more, she used the horrifying experience to learn things about her body and to inspire her to make a difference.  “Our bodies try so hard to survive, but we often compromise that with unhealthy choices that increase our exposure to pesticides and pollutants.”

She researched nontoxic products, joined a CSA (community supported agriculture) farm, and even started raising hens in her backyard for organic eggs!  I love that.  Seriously, I want some hens in my yard.  Stat.  My husband never knows exactly what kick I’m going to get on next or what will come out of my head or mouth next.. I hope he braces himself for this one.  I want hens.

Krisit even started an educational organization called Choose Wiser, sharing her tips and advice with local groups. “I hope to educate people about what best fits into their lives so they can make healthy changes.”

Chris Word (52 – Let’s see… I believe he’s second from the left :) ), from California, used his battle with colon cancer as a springboard for a life of service on the behalf of children.My cancer struggle inspired me to help sick children. Motivated by all the child cancer patients he met during his recovery, he decided to start the Lifedriven Foundation, a nonprofit foundation that supports research and treats children battling the disease with trips to Disneyland. How cool is that?!

There is so much about cancer that people have no control over, but we can give a family a moment in time to experience some joy,” Word says.

If I were asked to design Heaven’s lay out (oddly enough, I have not been consulted), there’d be a special place… a very, very, very special place for people who help children.

I love the spirit, the fight, the drive, and the compassion in these individuals.  If you ask me, they have plenty to teach all of us about life and about bouncing back.

When these people were knocked down, they not only got back up, they got back up fighting!   This is the sort of spirit that makes the world a better place.  Think about it.  If everyone took their knocks and used them as inspiration to make the world around them a better place, can you imagine what a world we would live in?  Unfortunately, many people are far too busy whining, moaning, sighing, and feeling sorry for themselves to take the time to reach out to others.

I hope you’ll read the full stories on each of these individuals by vising Prevention’s 2010 Picture of Health Story and Slideshow.  Whether you’re looking to lose 10 pounds, improve the way your family eats, or simply want a inspirational fodder  for your own antenna, these stories will touch your heart… flip a switch in your brain…. and light a fire under your feet.  If that sounds like something that’d be all kinds of cool beans – have at it!

Photo Credit: Prevention.com

The Tale of the Fancy Pink Handbag

by joi on April 7, 2010

Do you remember the whole Y2K scare?  People were loading up on groceries, bottled water, flashlights, and so on.  I remember that even the stores had special displays featuring necessities one would need in case of a disaster.  I’m not sure what it says about my family (maybe we’re just trusting souls, I don’t know), but we didn’t do anything to prepare for what could have been… I don’t know… a day of complete shutdown.

I didn’t see such a shutdown coming and didn’t expect one, but I have to admit that when the clock’s all got “on the other side” and we still had lights, water, communications, air, and so on – I let out a sigh of relief.

Most people expected the worst, and fortunately it never showed up.

Flash forward to the morning of September 11, 2001.  I’ll always remember that morning.  Ironically, I had always been one to turn on Good Morning America first thing in the morning. It was part of my morning routine – get up, turn on the coffee, feed my cats, turn on GMA, open the blinds, and get ready to roll.  On this one morning, however, I didn’t turn on the news.  One morning out of hundreds.  Can you imagine the odds of that?

Anyway, I went out and sat on my back deck with my cup of coffee.  Where we were living at the time (my dream house, as it was known at the time), we had a huge yard that was perfectly adorned with plants, bulbs, shrubs, flower beds, and an herb garden that Paula Deen would envy.  I loved to go out and sit and just stare at the beauty – and there was plenty of it.   Just when I decided that this was, indeed, going to be a glorious day, a neighbor (Kristie) called to talk about the horror.  She knew that I was a GMA addict and assumed I was on top of everything.

I wasn’t.  She told me what had happened as I sat my coffee down, reached for the remote control, and uttered a strand of “Oh my God“s through tears.

On a beautiful September morning when everyone expected the best, hell showed up.

I use the two illustrations often with my daughters and in my own little web of a mind – as reminders that you just never know what the day will bring.

This morning, on a far, far, far smaller scale – I was reminded of this truth.  After my husband left for work, I walked to where I keep my purse (to get my cellphone out).  The purse wasn’t there.  Odd, since it’s the only place I keep my purse.  So, I figured I’d left it in the car after going to the store yesterday.  I have never done this before, but there’s always a first time.

The purse wasn’t there.

A house-wide, and even yard-wide because I was desperate, search ensued.  I even called Kroger to see if “A hot pink, really fancy looking purse” had been turned in.  I could hear the worker’s smile through the phone as she told me it hadn’t, but that she’d keep her eyes out for one.

Let the haters hate, it is a fancy looking purse – and one that I love dearly, which is why it rattled my brain that it could be missing.  You see, my oldest daughter (Emily) gave me this purse for Christmas.  She goes to school full-time, so she is only able to work part-time.  College and a part-time job equal not a heckuva lot of money.  Yet, somehow she bought her mother a very expensive handbag for Christmas – and a handbag I adore.  I’m all about flashiness and this beautiful designer handbag screams FLASHY!

So, my mind was all over the place.  I knew I needed to call my husband and ask what we needed to do regarding the credit cards, but I was busy missing my beautiful purse and pictures in my billfold.  Then it occurred to me that my asthma inhaler was in the purse!  I also mentally groaned over the headaches of replacing my driver’s license, social security card, and cellphone.

Just as I was nearing full-tilt panic, I saw a brilliant flash of hot pinkness in the living room beside the sofa.   At first, my brain told me not to get overly excited, my youngest daughter could have gotten a hot pink stuffed bear or something, but as I got closer, I knew it was my beloved handbag.

Saved from disaster, tears, and headaches!  I celebrated with another cup of coffee.

Another splendid, if not annoying, example of YOU JUST NEVER KNOW what the day’s going to bring.

The main purpose of this post is just to remind us all to stay on our toes – keep our A game in our pocket.  Our front pocket.  Preparation is a good thing, and I’ve learned a few things from this scare.

A Few Things I Did Right

  • While looking for the purse, I didn’t panic.  I’ve seen many people flat-out panic when something goes wrong.  God knows I’m far from perfect, but I’ve been blessed with the ability to remain calm and keep my cool.  Even when it involves a treasured hot pink, fancy-looking handbag from a daughter! If I had panicked, and allowed emotions to get the better of me, I would have made a total jackass out of myself.  When you’re busy crumbling, you can’t be busy doing what has to be done.
  • At the insistence of my husband years ago, I’ve always had a back-up asthma inhaler.  The one in my handbag is the better of the two, but I do have a back-up if it’s ever needed. He was brilliant to insist on that and anyone with medications should always, always keep their options open.
  • I have gazillions of pictures of my family – the ones in my billfold aren’t the only ones by any means.

Something I Could Have Done Better

  • I will never, again, keep all of my cash in one place.  I’m not one of those people who never carries cash with them – operating only with plastic. For some reason, old-school-itis maybe, I prefer using cash all the time.  This morning’s alarm reminded me, however, that keeping too much on you at all times can be kind of foolish.

We should always be prepared for whatever may or may not happen – because one thing is for sure,  God’s the only one with Life’s Script.  We have no way of knowing what will happen next, we only assume we know.

The most dangerous place to live just might be in the condition of assuming you know what the day or week will bring.

We all need to pay extra attention to what’s going on.  When we get too busy (another dangerous place to live), we don’t pay attention to the moment as closely as we should.  When we don’t pay attention to each moment, we’re practically begging for things to be lost, misplaced, or even taken.   Keep your wits about you, pay close attention to your surroundings, be prepared for anything and everything, and keep your handbag in sight at all times.

Especially if it’s a fancy little number.

Credit: I made the image at the top of the post using pictures from Peanuts brilliant creator, Charles M. Schulz.  I love the Peanuts characters so much my knees ache.

I’m a great lover of books, but you probably already know that… I recommend one nearly twice a week and always have one or two nearby.  I’m also a great believer of education – mostly self-education.  However, I’m convinced that the greatest education isn’t found in a book or a university.  The greatest education is found in life.  I’ve been reminded of that a couple of times lately.

One of these lessons is a simple one.  A kindergarten lesson, no less:  Square pegs don’t go in round holes.

Have you ever found yourself trying to cram a square peg into a round hole – trying to do something that’s just outside the realms of the possible?

Maybe you’ve gotten caught up in the trap we all do from time to time – trying to be someone we aren’t.  We put on this facade, thinking that we’re fooling everyone when in fact we aren’t fooling anyone, especially ourselves.  The facade doesn’t fit and we’re incredibly uncomfortable yet we seem to be unable to just step out of it and be ourselves.  We get this ridiculous image of who we SHOULD be or who others EXPECT us to be – then we fight a silly battle to try to fit into that skin instead of our own.

Have you ever seen someone in ill-fitting clothing?  Maybe it’s a 17 year old boy with pants falling down below his rear.  He walks kind of duck-like trying to keep them from sliding down.

Why not buy pants that fit you – instead of trying to fit pats that aren’t suited for you?

Maybe it’s a woman who’s trying to fit into her daughter’s jeans.  She shuffles down the aisle at the grocery store, barely able to walk OR breath. You know that if she drops something and has to pick it up, she’ll be buying her daughter a new pair of jeans.

Why not buy jeans that are your size instead of trying to squeeze into jeans that are someone else’s size?

I’m sure that, like me, you can’ t help snickering at the imagery.  Yet, we’re just as guilty aren’t we?  Maybe not in the clothes we wear, but we’ve certainly fallen into other sections of the tap.  After all, we’re human.  Below are some of the most common instances of trying to fit square pegs into round holes, skinny bums into huge pants and huge bums into skinny pants:

  • The individual who wants to save a few dollars and tries to be his own plumber, roofer, web designer, mechanic, and/or electrician.  If you have a career – stick to it. Do what you do and let others do what they do. Think about it.  If you try to do other people’s jobs (jobs you aren’t trained for, experienced in, or proficient at) a few things are going to happen: [1] Odds are you’re going to mess up and have to contact them anyway. [2] During the time you’re spending doing THEIR job, who’s doing YOUR’S?
  • The spouse, girlfriend, or boyfriend who try to be someone different around their guy or gal.  Who are you fooling?!  Be who you truly are. If you are with someone who wants you to be a different person, that’s a big problem.  Throwing on a make believe persona isn’t the answer.  It’ll slide off in time and then where will you be?  On the wrong side of wasted time, ridiculous facades, and bad acting.
  • Maybe you’re the type of person who bites off too much.  We (I’m going with we here because this is where I wiggle into the wrong jeans…) think, “If this is good…. this, this, and this will be better!”  Not necessarily. I made a Red Velvet Cake recently and made a double amount of cream cheese frosting. Why? I wanted to erase all doubts about having enough – that, plus my daughter Brittany is a Frosting Finger Swiper.  I bake all the time and one of my biggest pet peeves is when I have to try to stretch something to go further than it’s capable of going.  I despise coming up with less frosting or toppings than I need.  I find myself spreading delicious frosting so thin that it can’t even be tasted or appreciated.  Then, I’d try to overcompensate by piling on chocolate chips, walnuts, or coconut.  Fancy facades are always second best.
  • How about followers who are in leader’s positions?  We’ve all seen them – bosses and managers who sit at the big desk simply because of family or friends.  They don’t have the personality or drive to fill the desk and, deep inside they know it.  They live each day trying to spread walnuts and coconut over their insecurities and inefficiencies  -hoping no one notices.  The sad thing is, they feel just as out of place as they look.  The check (and their pride) is too big to rock the boat – but they’d be much happier at a smaller desk. They’d be healthier, more fulfilled, and infinitely more comfortable.  Why? It’d fit.

These are just a couple of examples – I’m sure you can think of more.

This may seem like an unusual post coming from blogdom’s Mary Poppins.  After all, I’m ALL ABOUT aiming high, fighting the good fight, never giving up, challenging yourself and all of that great stuff.  However, I’m even more about not making a dang fool of oneself!

I was up against something a little while back.  When I’m doing something that matters to me, I’m as stubborn as any mule could hope to be.  I stick with it until I either figure it out or twist it around to where I want it.  I think it came from being an only child – my parents always led me to believe I could do anything I decided to do and I guess I took them at their word.  However, I have sense enough to know that square pegs don’t go into round holes – they weren’t designed to.

After spending a few hours with the square peg and the unrelenting round hole, it occurred to me, “The time and energy you’re spending here could be better used elsewhere.  You could actually be accomplishing something other than frazzled nerves.”

So I laid the square peg down and moved on.  And guess what?  It felt pretty darn good!  I actually moved along to something that was within the realms of the possible and accomplished something I’d been meaning to do for weeks.

No amount of time, no amount of inspirational quotes, no amount of motivational books, not even 3 pots of coffee will make a square peg fit in a round hole or a size 18 arse  fit into a size 4 pants.  However, a square peg will be divine in a square hole and a size 18 arse will be bootylicious in a size 18 pair of jeans.

Basically, this long post boils down to this:

  • Don’t try to be someone you aren’t.  Be the original, quirky, warm-hearted person your mother raise.  Never try to be someone she wouldn’t recognize.
  • Don’t try to do things you aren’t equipped to do.  It’s great to have an area of expertise – and it’s brilliant beyond compare to stick to it.
  • If you ever bite off more than you can chew – spit it out before you choke.
  • Don’t try to be the queen or king of everything – stick to your own castle and your own kingdom.  Remember, if you leave your throne – it’ll be empty, at best, and taken, at worst.
  • The next time you seem to be up against the impossible, realize that it may be just that – impossible.  Ask yourself, “What could I be accomplishing if I put my time and energy elsewhere?”
  • The same lessons hold true for broken dreams and relationships.  If you keep staring back at what was “lost,” you’ll never be looking in the right place – ahead – where something truly beautiful can be “found.”

Vow, today, to never waste any more time trying to put square pegs into round holes…. and always wear pants that fit you.  Just thought I’d throw that in there.

I heart Subway.  I, literally, could eat lunch at my neighborhood Subway each and every day.  I’ve tried each of their sandwiches over the many years I’ve been in love with them and I’ve never left a bite untouched.  My only request would be the addition of Guacamole… come on, I’ll pay more for it!

A few minutes ago, one of Subway’s catchy “Five Dollar Foot long… ANY Five Dollar Foot long….” commercials came on.  In addition to making me want a Veggie Delite with black olives, lettuce, American Cheese, cucumbers, banana peppers, pickles, and sweet onion dressing, it made me think about their successful advertising campaign.  This one took guts – and paid off.

If I had a Sales and Marketing blog, I’d applaud Subway’s brilliance for attacking the fragile economy head on with their infamous $5 Subways.  I’d point out that they know that they get that the best way to woo the public is to tap into into the things that matter most to them:

  1. Health and Fitness. Remember Jared?  He showed us how “one of us” (the guy or gal next door) actually lost weight while eating delicious food.  They’re also prominent sponsors of the popular show The Biggest Loser… again reminding us that they’re on our side.  They’ll provide us with delicious, healthy alternatives and save us from the fried, greasy stuff we might get elsewhere.
  2. Saving Money! A footlong sub (piled with goodness) for $5.00 is an excellent deal, just when we need excellent deals the most.  Brilliant.

Alas, I don’t have a sales blog because I know diddly squat about selling.  I’m on team buying, not team selling.  Which, I suppose explains why my husband is on team selling.

From a Self Help and Self Improvement standpoint, I think we can actually learn something from this popular, catchy Subway campaign.  Whether we use the lesson in our daily life, in our writing and blogging, in our work, or in the ways we try to make the world a better place – it’s right there, waiting for us to scarf it up as readily as we do the subways,  themselves.

Here are a few of the lessons I think we can learn from Subway:

  • Originality rawks and originality rawks hard.
  • We shouldn’t take ourselves too seriously.
  • We should often look for ways to renew, refresh, and reinvent ourselves.

Think about it.  Subway took a huge chance on this campaign.  They chose a jingle which, let’s be honest, is a little cheesy. Yet they went with it. In fact they ran with it – laughing at themselves in the process.  How cool is that?!   Jingles like this are very hit or miss.  Subway could have been laughed AT or laughed WITH.  They went over the top and landed in the zone.  Life is about taking chances and taking risks. Sometimes you have to just go for it – without hesitation and without fear.  Many times, these risks pay off better than you ever even hoped for.

Don’t ever be afraid to be yourself.  Don’t ever be afraid to stand out from the crowd. Don’t ever aspire to be a wallflower.

I also love the fact that this successful campaign doesn’t involve them trying to sling lettuce on their competition (though they have in the past gone down that yellow and red brick road).  These types of campaigns always turn me off.  It’s like, if you believe in what you have to offer, why bring the other guys into it?  In fact, some fast food restaurant recently had a campaign where they took a swipe at Wendy’s (by showing the back of a girl with big red ponytails).  Here’s the effect it had on me:  I rushed out for some Wendy’s chili.  I got an instant craving and addressed it immediately.

Hmmm, I seriously can’t even tell you who’s commercial it was.  For me, it was Wendy’s.

Brought to the world of self improvement and self help:  We will never climb higher by stepping on other people. Putting our footprints on others never adds value to them – it lessens what value they had. Every time.

If you value what you have to say and what you have to offer, what does it matter to you what others are doing or saying?  Why go to their blogs and leave negative comments or try to run their name down on yours’?   If you believe in yourself, believe all the way and keep the spotlight on yourself.  I suspect that many times insecurity is the reason people shine the spotlight on others.   Why else wouldn’t they want it on themselves?

I know that many things in life are gravely serious.  I’m as aware of that as anyone.  However, I also know that many people take things far too seriously.  Life should be enjoyed, not stressed over.  Let go of little things and you’ll find that the world is a beautiful, wonderful place.  Let it be.

Finally, Subway teaches us the value of reinventing yourself.  They knew that Jared’s campaign had kind of worn itself out.  The public had gotten pretty accustomed to his handsome face and winsome disposition.  I’m not saying he doesn’t have a lot of mileage left – I love the Jared commercials!  I am saying this, Subway knew it was time to mix things up a little and throw something unexpected out there.

Now, when Jared does come back, we’ll be more apt to pay attention.

Never allow yourself to fall into a rut.  Mix things up every now and then!  Be true to your message, your goal, your dreams, and your life’s mission…. but keep things interesting.  If you lull everyone to sleep, they’ll never hear a word you’re saying.

You know what makes me sad?  When people WANT to do something, learn something, or try something but hold themselves back.  No one else is standing in their way but themselves.

  • If you wish you kept a cleaner house, pick up the broom and make it happen.  Start now!
  • If you wish you knew more geography (or history, math, botany, a foreign language), what are you waiting for? As soon as you leave Self Help Daily, find some wonderful educational websites and/or head off for the library.  Learning new things is invigorating and makes you feel more alive than ever.  Have at it!
  • If you wish you were known for having an easy-going, laid back temper instead of being a hot head – start working on it.

You get the point.  If you aren’t happy with the path you’re on… make a new one.  No one’s making you stay on this one.  Pave your own path and, you know the rules by now, don’t just walk down it, dance.

Dance on!

Bridge

Today’s Thursday Throwback is from a real powerhouse of motivation:  Elsie Lincoln Benedict.  This is an excerpt from a lesson-lecture that she delivered to students in various cities of the United States long, long, long ago.  Don’t let the multiple longs fool you, though.  The advice, the motivation, the inspiration, and the grit will leave an impression on you.  I plan to publish more of this amazing lady’s teachings on Self Help Daily because she simply moves me.  When I read Elsie Lincoln Benedict’s writings, I feel much as Brad Pitt must have felt the first time he saw Angelina JolieMy world?  She rocketh it.

I will type in Elsie Lincoln’s Benedict’s words as they appear in the texts I have.When I skip around a little (because some illustrations simply aren’t built for time traveling), you’ll see a family of dots….. just call them The Dots and follow them to the next room.  Once or twice you’ll notice something in parenthesis – this is where I pitch in my two cents for clarification.  Having read the entire series of lectures, some things may be clearer to me – and I thought I’d wipe the window, so that you can see more clearly as well.

When the writing/teaching begins, Elise Lincoln Benedict is addressing the subject of “Making Your Desires Materialize.”

Enjoy!

HOW TO MAKE YOUR DESIRES MATERIALIZE by Elsie Lincoln Benedict, 1923

The distance we cover (in the pursuit of our desires) depends on the number of hurdles we are able to take and the speed with which we cover the distance between.

We may run along for quite a while on smooth ground, thinking “Everything’s going to be smooth from here on,” but pretty soon looming up ahead we descry an obstacle.  It may be a low one which we scarcely notice.  Or it may be a high one.  If we refuse to scale it, thinking it looks impossible, or if we are tired of running, we can stop right there and our progress ends….

But if we draw upon our courage we will always find that this hurdle, high and forbidding though it appears, is nothing compared to the first ones (previous obstacles, trials and tribulations). Because we have developed strength from jumping those before – a strength we are not aware of till we put it to the test, but which never fails us if we take a good jump and try for it….

There come times in every human life when the game doesn’t seem worth the candle. But it is.  When the price looks bigger than the prize.  But it never is.

The price is always less, when you come right down to paying it, than it looks to be – just as a piece of work looks impossible as long as you postpone it but is suddenly easy when you begin.

Life always lets you make your own decisions and she takes you at your word.  Your words always express themselves in your secret attitudes.

To try to fool others is bad enough, but to fool yourself is fatal.  You never can really fool your subconsciousness. It knows whether you really want a thing or not, and whether you are in earnest.

If you are not it lets you alone.  But if you are it will find a way. It will help you get what you really want MOST.

You may not believe it at first glance, but many poverty-stricken, sick, shiftless failures already have what they want most in life.

They won’t admit it to you, but in their inmost souls they know it is true.

They don’t really want riches, health, and success MOST.  They only WISH they wanted these things most.

What they really want most of all is doing what they please with their time, taking things easy, sleeping late, overeating, being free of responsibilities – and they are getting every one of them!

They delude themselves with the notion that they are getting them for nothing – that success, health and happiness would cost more.  But the fact is that they are paying the highest price for the worst articles when the very best could be had at a bargain.

If you have ever seen a man trying to get out of work, you know that he worked twice as hard at it as those who pitched in and did something….

Your great subconscious will get for you the things you want MOST in life.  It will do so more completely and more quickly than you can believe.  It will do so with unerring accuracy and unfaltering, unswerving perfection.

If you want happiness, success, fame, it will show you how to get them.  They must be paid for, but the price is not as high as you think, not even as great as that we pay for failure.

I often think of the world as a colossal department store.  In it are all the things we want, displayed on the counters within reach of all, and to be had the moment we pay for them.

If we really want the things we SAY we want, we will do what we always do to get the things we want in the store – walk up and pay for them and TAKE them.

You see something you say you want.  But if you are not willing to pay for it, Life knows you only wish for it.

- – - – - – - – - –

I’ll continue the lecture next Thursday.  Trust me, it only gets better!

Toys for Tots Bear

“We make a living through what we get, but we make a life through what we give.” – Winston Churchill

During a Christmas season when all of us are feeling the tightening of the money belt,we have to be careful not to get sidetracked with the wrong kinds of thoughts…. “stinkin’ thinkin’” as it were.  Christmas shouldn’t be a time for worrying, fretting, or stressing over how much we’re able to buy or not buy.  Christmas is a time for celebrating!

Now, having said that, I  completely understand wanting to have the house all decked out in beautiful colors and lights.  I understand wanting to have oodles of cookies, piles of fudge, and jars of homemade candies.  As a doting (there really can be no other word for it) wife and mother, I most certainly understand wanting to buy your husband the best sweaters, your daughters the loveliest lovelies, and your sons the best games.  What’s more, we want them all wrapped in the most gorgeous gift wrapping possible.

Then there’s the bank balance – letting you know, every step of the way, that this year isn’t quite like any other.  At least not one like most of us have ever seen.  Since I can remember, Christmas was always bright, wonderful, and lavish.  As an only child, most Christmases presented me with so many presents I was positively worn out at the end of it all.

However, none of the toys, stuffed animals, bikes, barbie airports, barbie townhouses, dolls (not even the one that tumbled) symbolize Christmas for me.  When I think back over my favorite Christmases, I think of…

  • My MeMe’s divinity – she was paralyzed on one side but could outbake just about anyone!
  • My mom’s peanut butter fudge
  • The year my grandmother set out her Nativity set and gave Mary’s position to a shepherd and put Mary in the back with the sheep.  When I asked her why she wanted to change history, she nearly collapsed in laughter.  I was 10 at the time, but her laugh is still in my mind… and heart.
  • The year my mom broke with tradition and decorated her tree all fru-fru like with mauve bows, angel heads, and baby’s breath.  My very traditional dad snarled at it every time he passed by it.  One night as he happened to be turning off the lights, my mom called from the back of the house, “Turn off the tree lights, we don’t want it catching fire!”  Just then, he flipped the switch back on and winked at me.
  • The first year my husband and I were married – he was in the military and money wasn’t exactly flowing in our direction.  We went to a craft’s store and loaded up on supplies.  Then we went home and, after I baked us some warm chocolate chip cookies – we made gifts for everyone in our family.  They still have, and treasure, them!  We had a blast, too.  I do remember, however, losing my husband a few times during the process when football was on television.  Then, again to be fair, he lost me a few times when UK basketball was on.
  • Watching Christmas specials with our girls when they were little.  These days, if Johnny Depp, Miley Cyrus, or Tyra isn’t in the special – my girls aren’t in the room.  That’s cool with me, my cat Alexa and I watch them anyway!
  • I remember our cat Prissy always climbing the Christmas tree -every single year!  I stopped using breakable ornaments when she was still alive, because I didn’t want her hurting herself. Get this – I didn’t even use the hooks during the Prissy years.  When she hit 20 years, she didn’t get much higher than the bottom branch, but she still gave it a go.  Thankfully, Alexa (a good 10 pounds heavier) is content to lie under the tree and sneak into presents.

The list of memories goes on and on and on, but the remarkable thing is, what I received or didn’t receive is nowhere near the top of the list.  It just didn’t matter.  Laughter did, love did, chocolate did.  And Mary in the field.

If you’re cutting back this year, don’t fret it and don’t sweat it!  In fact, I’d like to make a suggestion:  Take a particular area and do something completely selfless and wonderful instead.  For example:  If you planned on decorating the outside of your house, use the money for Toys for Tots instead.   Go to the website and find out when they’ll be collecting toys in your area, then go straight to the store and buy some fantastic toys to give.  If you do this (for example) in place of lighting up your house – you will have a great deal of money to spend on toys.

Which had you rather light up – your yard or the face of a child in need.  Not even close.

Another suggestion: If your office normally has a huge Christmas party or dinner, suggest this year that each individual brings in a toy for children.  Then, appoint someone to take the collection to Toys for Tots or another agency which is moving Heaven and earth to help children.  If you and I are feeling the pinch this year, for crying out loud (literally) can you imagine the predictament others are in?  The thought of a child not having a present on Christmas makes me want to cry. (In fact, there come the tears now.)

I’m just incredibly afraid that, this year, toys and donations are going to be especially low and there will be many, many children left out.

Please, please, please go to Toys for Tots right now and learn more about your local campaign.

If you make one precious child smile this Christmas – whether you realize it or not, you had a richer Christmas than most could ever hope for.  The smile on a child’s face will warm God’ s heart more than a billion lights.  I suspect it’s the kind of light show angels line up to see!

Toys for Tots