Self Help Daily’s Must Read Articles and Posts

On the following pages you’ll find some of the articles and posts that I deem Must Reads. These include articles about relationships, empty nest syndrome, health, stress, self improvement, and more.

Preventing Prediabetes and Diabetes

Tips from South Beach Diet

by joi

in Health, Must Reads

Vegetables: A Weapon in the battle against Diabetes!

One of the scariest diseases of all is diabetes.  If, like me, you’ve seen it up close and personal in a family member, you know that diabetes doesn’t play well with others. Can it be lived with? Absolutely. Can you still have a full, beautiful, and wonderful life? Of course!  But it’s no picnic and those of us who don’t have prediabetes or diabetes today would be fools if we didn’t do ALL we can to make sure we don’t have it tomorrow.

According to South Beach Diet, our weight, level of activity, and food are HUGE contributing factors that decide our risk of getting diabetes.  The good news, of course, is that we can obviously control these things.

Below are the foods recommended by the South Beach Diet – foods that’ll help you keep diabetes off of your radar.  I’ve thrown in my own two cents (in italics, to separate me from the experts) with tips for preparing, enjoying, and actually eating (!!!) these foods.

  • Eat plenty of whole grains:  brown rice, barley, quinoa, wild rice, bulgur, slow-cooking oatmeal, whole-wheat pasta, and 100% whole-grain bread.  Brown rice and whole-wheat pasta can be enjoyable. It’s all about adding flavor. With brown rice, I love to throw in slivered almonds. Whole-wheat pasta’s a little bit more challenging. Personally, I don’t love the smell.  That’s easy to take care of, however, with combinations of garlic, basil, thyme, and even red pepper. Barley can be added, effortlessly, to just about any kind of soup imaginable and as for quinoa? Try it! It’s versatile and fun to cook with.  Whole wheat bread takes one simple trick: Buy it instead of white bread. If it’s the only bread you have, it’s the only bread you’ll eat.  I actually like, and prefer, wheat bread with everything now.
  • Eat lots of beans and legumes. Fall in love with beans!  Just be sure you don’t throw in a pound of bacon or bacon grease, please. This all but cancels out the good you’ve done.  Flavor beans with onion, red pepper flakes, bay leaves, and (my favorite) liquid smoke (in the aisle with BBQ sauce). Beans are heavenly with cornbread and green onions. You won’t miss the bacon, I promise.
  • Enjoy a lot of vegetables, prepared using healthy cooking methods such as steaming, sautéing, or grilling.  Don’t drown your veggies in creamy, rich sauces or butter. The same rules that apply to bacon apply to these sauces – you cancel out the good.  My fave way to fix most vegetables is in my bamboo steamer. Delicious.
  • Consume whole, fresh fruits like berries, apples, and/or citrus fruits.  Buy fresh fruit and enjoy it often. Grab an apple on the way out the door instead of a pastry or candy bar. Make fresh fruit salads for dessert and snacks.  My family LOVES smoothies made with fresh fruit as well as fresh fruit served in yogurt. The natural sweetness of fruit, honestly, makes a great after-dinner choice.
  • Include nonfat or low-fat dairy in your diet, such as fat-free or low-fat milk, plain or artificially sweetened low-fat soy milk, and nonfat or low-fat plain yogurt.  If you serve fresh fruit in a whole-grain cereal with low-fat milk, you’ll be a diabetes-fighting ninja.
  • Focus on lean proteins, like skinless poultry or turkey breast, and lean cuts of meat, as well as fish and shellfish. Remember, though, that preparation matters. Fall in love with baked and grilled meats as opposed to fried food.
  • Avoid saturated fats and trans fats; instead, choose monounsaturated and polyunsaturated fats, found in olive oil and canola oil, for example, and foods high in omega-3 fatty acids, such as fatty fish like salmon and sardines, soybeans, flaxseed, and walnuts.  When you put your mind and palate to it, you can find endless ways to use olive oil. I even cook my eggs in olive oil now instead of butter. That’s a giant step for a southerner, trust me. I also love to slice tomatoes and mozzarella and drizzle them with a little olive oil and fresh basil.  Here’s an alternative for traditional garlic bread for pasta night: First of all, buy a loaf of whole wheat Italian bread.  Bake the bread as directed, with no butter.  In a platter, pour out a little olive oil and dust the top of the oil with freshly ground black pepper.  Delicately dip your bread into this flavorful concoction in lieu of butter.  You can even buy flavored olive oil for this purpose. YUM!

See all South Beach Diet Tips.

Adding More Activity to Your Day
One of the best tips I ever heard concerning activity and exercise basically is this: Your body doesn’t know whether you’re in the gym or in your living room. Just move! If you’re cleaning house or raking the yard, your body’s getting exercise and that’s what’s important. It’s as simple as adding more movements and steps into your daily routine. March in place while watching television, walk the long way to everything you need in stores, park further from the door, adopt a dog (or two) from an animal shelter and fall in love with the joy of taking dogs for walks each day.

The Art of Manliness

Human Creativity on Manly Display

by joi

in Blogging, Must Reads

Peter Graves, Mission Impossible

I was on the brink of sharing the link to this creative, innovative, imaginative, clever, witty, and informational website on Twitter but then it hit me – why keep it from people who may not be on  Twitter (if any such people exist). My oldest daughter Emily and I LOVE to find new websites and show them to one another.   We try to outdo one another and, I’m afraid, I have to give her the WIN this week. All caps.

Somehow, my ridiculously feminine, small-framed, tea-drinking daughter came across a website so manly you can practically smell the Old Spice.   It’s called The Art of Manliness and it’s both a hoot and a holler.  However, it’s not just FUN (again, all caps), the advice, tips, and instructions are actually very informative and helpful – not that there’s a generation of males that could benefit from such information or anything…

Whether you’re male or just know a male, you’ll want to check out this website.  I noticed that it’s on the Thesis WordPress Theme, which is cool.  SO many great websites and blogs are built with Thesis! Before I break out in a Thesis plug, I’ll just say again… check out The Art of Manliness!

 

 

Theodore Vail Quote About Difficulties

Well, He's Got us There

by joi

in Daily Quote, Must Reads

Monkey Deep in Thought

“Real difficulties can be overcome; it is only the imaginary ones that are unconquerable.” – Theodore Vail

What a profound quote! This is the sort of inspirational quote that makes you think… my favorite kind. When I come face to truth with a quote like this one, I’m like the precious monkey above – deep, deep in thought, sometimes with my paw to my head as well.

When I think back over my life, I can recall certain difficulties. I think of these difficulties as unwanted visitors.  They always intrude in the same way.  My family, figuratively, is sitting comfortably in around the dining room, having a wonderful meal – talking about University of Kentucky Basketball, St. Louis Cardinals baseball, the Denver Broncos (no, wait, not at the supper table – too upsetting).  Then trouble arrives banging on the door, upsetting everyone and causing chaos.  The most unwelcome guest of all time.

However, as I think back on these difficulties…. none of them won.  We always survived.  What’s more, we walked away stronger and wiser.

As Theodore Vail points out, it’s the imaginary visitors at the door that are our undoing.  If we were to sit around the imaginary, figurative table again, an imaginary difficulty would be the type where we’d interrupt the dinner conversation with an anxious, “What’s that?!? Did you hear that?!?!” only to be met with wide-eyed, questioning looks from everyone else.  Of course they didn’t hear anything at the door.  Nothing was there.

As important and vital as thought is, and truthfully don’t we wish more people practiced the art, sometimes we can think too much.   A lot can be said for dealing with difficulties and troubles as they come.  Face it, people are going to talk if we run to the door, waving a Louisville Slugger in the air and threatening something that isn’t even there.

More Quotes About Adversity.

Have you signed up yet for Self Help Daily’s Daily Inspirational Quotes? You’ll receive inspirational quotes in your e-mail everyday, seven days a week. These famous sayings and quotations will be highly inspirational and motivational in all areas of your life. You can use them on Facebook and Twitter as well as your daily life. I’ll choose only the best quotes I can find and will make them harmonize with the seasons, days of the week, upcoming holidays, and world events. I look forward to seeing you in your e-mail everyday!

How to Achieve Your Goals

Turning Resolutions into Reality!

by joi

in Must Reads, Positive Thought, Self Help

The vision must be followed by the venture. It is not enough to stare up the steps – we must step up the stairs. – Vance Havner

My husband, Michael, has been in the building industry for many years. He sells bricks, blocks, mortar, and other constructional materials, so he visits job sites regularly. I love to ride along with him and see what it looks like when a store, house, hospital, school (or whatever) is more of a VISION than a VISUAL.  It never ceases to amaze me how returning to the same dirty, cluttered, and genuinely unimpressive-looking location months later can take on a whole different meaning.

The architect has a clear vision of what the end result will look like. Even an architect years ago who envisioned an elementary school in New Albany, Indiana had a clear vision. It was a checkered, whack-a-doodle kind of vision, but a vision nonetheless. When my husband showed me the building, he asked what I thought. I said it was probably the biggest eye sore I’d ever had the pleasure of seeing. He laughed and said he felt the same way but that the architect was so delighted he was beside himself.

Yay, him!

When it comes to self improvement, resolutions, and self growth goals, we’re a lot like architects. We have a clear vision of what the “end result” will look like and, more importantly, feel like.  (More about feelings later.)

If we want to lose weight, we envision ourselves in the same size of Levi’s we wore in college. We think of how amazing it will feel to have better mobility and to look in the mirror without hating the golden arches with a cruel, unChristian hatred.

If we want to make more money, we envision ourselves in a new UK Wildcat’s blue Ford Edge, making a joyful trek from Starbucks to Target to the Mall and back to Starbucks (say hello to my personal vision).

If someone wants to learn to control their temper, they may envision themselves smiling and remaining calm while dealing with every nut job in the county.

You get the idea. No matter what the end goal is, we have a clear vision of it. Oddly enough, there are a lot of well-meaning, usually high-pitched men and women who’d lead you to believe that having this vision, alone, will bring good things your way.

H-o-g-w-a-s-h.

That’s akin to telling an architect, “Stand in the field and attract the building to you. The universe wants you to have the building.” I don’t know who the universe is, but even God expects us to earn the things we want.

Anything worth having has to be built. One brick at a time. Is it fun? Not always – but it is necessary. One of the problems we run into is feelings and emotions.

Make no mistake about it, we are governed to a great extent by feelings.

Some of us (my hands in the air) more so than others. That’s one of the reasons we have trouble “staying on course” while trying to achieve goals or adhere to resolutions. Eating a cream-filled, chocolate-covered doughnut feels better than NOT eating a a cream-filled, chocolate-covered doughnut (did I mention that the hand in the air has chocolate on it?).

Obviously, this makes it vital to focus on the end result. We HAVE to picture – throughout the day – ourselves at the finish line, whether we’re in a smaller size Levi’s, in a Ford Edge, or lying on a beach in Hawaii.

Picturing ourselves there won’t transport us there. What it will do is motivate us to stay on track…. and not just any track. The track that WILL lead us where we want to go.

Motivation is when your dreams put on work clothes. – Author Unknown

All of this SOUNDS lovely, doesn’t it? It SOUNDS pie in the sky amazing. We read or hear words like the ones above and we get so motivated and inspired that we can hardly sit still. Unfortunately, there is a rub. A rub so powerful that it knocks the majority of people clean off the track.

It’s the rub of instant gratification. If you work from home like I do, you know how hard it can be to fight the urge to just get up from the computer and…

  • watch a cooking show
  • take a walk
  • play with the cat
  • raid the fridge
  • go to Starbucks
  • read a book
  • feed the birds
  • stare out the window
  • play solitaire
  • stroll through the house and make sure the layout’s the same as it was an hour ago

… basically do anything BUT work.   Unfortunately there is instant gratification in slacking off.  However, giving in a couple of times makes it far too easy to give in more times.  After a while, everything you’re working toward moves further and further away from you. You look around and you ARE now where you WERE then and the only thing around you is your “slack.”  The tv shows and the wasted trips say, “Hey, you still have us!”

Somehow, it’s just not what you’d envisioned, right? There’s an old saying, Always do what you’ve always done and you’ll always have what you’ve always had!

What does a construction crew do when they have a building to erect?  They keep going back each day until the job’s done. It doesn’t matter if they’re tired, it doesn’t matter if they’d rather be home watching tv.  They have a job to do and they keep at it until the job is complete.  One brick at a time.  One day at a time. One victory at a time.

It’s the same way with resolutions, self improvement, and goals.  We have to earn what it is we desire.  We have to show up, show up, show up, and show up again – until the job is done. It doesn’t matter if we’re tired, it doesn’t matter if we’d rather be doing (or eating) anything else.  We have to put on our proverbial hard hat and work our butts off if we want to build the future we want.

It is NOT going to build itself.  The premise is lovely, but then again so is the premise of a Tooth Fairy.

Remember to take pride and pleasure in each small victory.  If you drive right past a hamburger joint and choose Subway instead – revel in the victory! If you stay at your desk and work a whole hour longer than you expected to, celebrate the victory with a pat on the back!  It’s these small victories that lead to the finish line.   Do you watch college basketball or football?  Many teams will take certain games for granted during the season and lose a game they should have won.  They lose focus and a much less talented, but hungrier, team gets the best of them.  It may seem like a small deal at the time to most people – but those of us who follow the sports regularly know that every game counts in the home stretch.  When you’re playing for the championship, losing games you SHOULD have won count against you in the worst way.

Often, it keeps the best teams on the sidelines watching less talented teams play for the championship title.

It’s a natural law: You receive as much as you give. – Paul Karasik

It doesn’t matter if it’s sports or self growth:  Each victory counts.  Each victory is huge.  Each loss counts.  Each loss is costly.

Whatever your goal is, I hope with all that’s within me that you reach it.  I know you can – IF you keep your focus.  Focus on what it is you want and where it is you want to be.  Focus on this image daily – throughout the day.  But don’t for a second think that visualizing it is equal to realizing it.  You have to work for it.  You have to fight for it.  You have to approach each day with the mindset that you WILL rack up as many victories as you possibly can and avert any potential chocolate doughnuts losses.

When it comes to success, attract isn’t the keyword, action is.  You have to take action – and not just once.  You have to be ready to take continuous action.  The more action you take, the more progress you make.

Victory after victory after victory….

Do this and you’ll build a masterpiece that’ll knock your darn socks off.

Everything you want is out there waiting for you to ask. Everything you want also wants you. But you have to take action to get it. – Jack Canfield

Choices: Good or Bad, They Pen Your Autobiography

What are Your Choices Saying?

by joi

in Animal Protection, Conservation, Helping Children, Make a Difference, Must Reads, Positive Thought

I read an article this morning by a mother who’d recently taken her 15 year old daughter to the DMV for her permit’s license.

Here’s an excerpt:

Yesterday I sat at the DMV with my 15 year-old daughter while an officer talked to Ashley about how important it is to make good choices. She was getting her learner’s permit and entering the often scary world of teenage drivers. “We’ve had 320 teens killed this year in fatal car accidents so we want to do everything possible to keep you safe,” the officer said sternly as she highlighted for Ashley all the many rules for new drivers. Then she suggested signing a contract with her parents incorporating these rules.

I’ve never wanted to hug a DMV officer. But, it was all I could do not to reach across the desk and throw my arms around her. My husband and I wrote a driving contract that we’ve made each of our teenaged children sign. I’m sure our kids have thought our contract to be a bit over the top. After all, none of their friends have had to sign such a document with their parents. So, it was good to hear another adult speak truth into the life of my child. –   Lysa Ter Keurst

The author or, more importantly, the mother went on to explain how her daughter was encouraged to make RIGHT decisions when behind the wheel of a car as opposed to WRONG, SILLY decisions such as texting, playing music too loud, acting foolish, taking pictures of herself or friends, and so forth.  You know, the sort of things that lead to the hospital.  Or worse.

I’ve been thinking a lot about choices lately, this article just kind of brought all of these thoughts full circle. As the old saying goes, choices are the hinges of destiny.  When we make bad choices, the odds of opening bad doors go through the roof.  Karma exists and she has teeth.

How can reasonably intelligent people make so many poor choices?  I’ve often asked myself this question and can’t say that I have any answers.  Either they aren’t as intelligent as they’re given credit for OR they fall for lies like I fall for chocolate – hard and every time.

Here’s an example:  Jersey Shore.  Plenty of people are going to hate me (and probably out loud) for this – after all, it’s a very popular show.  I, for one, am not AT ALL happy about that fact.  Here’s why.  The “cast” of Jersey Shore is known for doing two things on/off the show:

  1. Drinking – a lot.
  2. Sleeping around – a lot.

Our young people are watching this show religiously.  They’re laughing about it.  They’re dressing, tanning, and doing their hair like the Jersey Shore cast.  The show is a “reality” show but, like a lot of reality shows, it’s played up a great deal.    Problem is, a lot of young people don’t “get” that.   They see these people who come into their living rooms and bedrooms each week as funny, cool, and hot.  They’re trying to emulate them and I don’t have to tell you how that should scare the wits out of parents… all adults, for that matter.  Seriously, do we want a generation of people making nothing BUT stupid choices?!?!  What do any of these people do to make the world a better place?  How do they help those who can’t help themselves?

“Life is the sum of all your choices.” – Albert Camus

Bad Choices

Let’s take drinking alcohol. How, in any shape or form is that a good choice? Drinking isn’t smart, it isn’t cool, and it certainly isn’t pretty. Drinking, followed by driving… I’m sorry, but that’s simply ignorance in its lowest form.

How about promiscuity? Sexually-transmitted diseases, unwanted pregnancies, and hideous reputations lie on the other side of this particular door. Pretty?  Hardly

Drugs? Smoking?  Again, poor choices that don’t lead to anyplace worth going.

Drinking, drugs, and smoking harm the individual physically, mentally, and emotionally. Poor choices tend to do that – in spades.  So, why do people keep doing them?!?!  Again, I think they fall for the LIES.  They see silly, ridiculous celebrities and reality-show stars doing it and they foolishly fall for the image… “OH! This is what cool people do.  This is the only way to have fun.”

LIES.

I’m sorry if I’m preaching.  I really am.  I’m not trying to because (A) It’s not in my nature and (B) I’m not the least bit qualified to do so!  I simply want to see humans prove that they’re capable of making good choices.  As a mother, I admit my heart goes out mainly to young people.  I can’t help it – I just want to gather everyone under the age of 30 in a room and plead with them to make good choices in their life.  I want to tell them how precious their life is and how they can use it to actually do something positive in their life as well as in the world.  These young people who are so passionate about taking their pictures and posting them on Facebook… who are so passionate about hitting up weekend parties… who are so passionate about watching Jersey Shore – I wish I could make them see that they deserve more from life than that.

And it deserves more from them.

I’d love to introduce them to children with very special needs, animals who are being mistreated and neglected, abused women and children, patients who are undergoing chemo, young people who are being bullied because they’re so-called different, and so forth.  I’d love for them to see all of the needs in the world.  NEEDS that they could help take care of if they’d step outside of themselves and stop making bad decision after bad decision.

Good Choices

Two of my daughters (Emily and Stephany) and I were talking recently about taking a stand for someone or something in life.  Each of these girls does just that.  I’m ridiculously proud of them for that.  Not only do they avoid BAD choices (neither smokes or drinks, and Tylenol’s their only drug), they avoid people who make BAD choices. That’s key.  What’s more, they make GOOD choices.   Emily works with children who are challenged and feels particularly drawn to the Muscular Dystrophy cause.  She’s “all about” every cause or organization that seeks to help improve the lives of children. She understands how precious children are and would fight a zombie clown for a child she’d never met.

The clown wouldn’t stand a chance.

Stephany is my tree hugger.  She’s passionate about conservation, the environment, and saving every animal on the planet (wonder where she got that from?).  Like her mom, she often goes in a direction that some would call “too far.”  For example, she’s on an anti Swamp People crusade!  That’s my girl.  If you ask me, it’s better to go too far than to not go at all.  Steph always lets me know about what Madonna is up to – things like providing fresh water for communities, etc.   Someone who’s music I loved as a teenager is now inspiring my youngest daughter in a positive way.  I love that.

The Material Girl is using her materials to make the world a better place.

Like Angelina Jolie and other celebrities, it’s like the light kicked on.  They realized that there was far more to life than celebrating themselves or making money.  They realized that true happiness and joy come from improving other’s lives, not your own.

My middle daughter, Brittany, wasn’t with us on this particular walk and talk fest.  However, Britt also cares about making a difference in the world.  She feels passionate breast cancer research and autism.  I remember years ago, while we were homeschooling, she read about Autism in a health textbook.  It spiked her interest, so I had her do a research paper on the subject.  She fell in love with autistic individuals!  I believe she’s read every book ever written about autism.

Personally, my own causes are Down’s Syndrome, animal protection, world hunger, Muscular Dystrophy, bullying, heart disease and cancer research.  Each one of us FEELS for all of the needs, but we’ve chosen our own particular fights.  I honestly wish everyone would find what they feel most passionate about in life and follow that cause.  Support the cause(s) financially, with word of mouth… basically in any way you can.  Place badges and banners on your websites, blogs, Facebook, and Twitter pages.  Even if it takes making a pest out of yourself – sometimes that’s what it takes to get the job done!

Right, good, positive choices.  They’re better for the individual, the community, and the world in general.

Another cause I’ve really taken up is battling the drinking epidemic in young people.  Again, I don’t mind making a pest (or worse) out of myself.  In fact, I kind of insist upon it. I don’t want young people (or old ones, for that matter) throwing their lives away with one of the dumbest choices known. Keep your head and wits about you – stay in the game!  Ask Charlie Sheen and Mel Gibson how cool drinking really is. It looks a hot mess if you ask me.

“The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn.” - David Russell

Think about the quote above, it’s a beaut.  Sometimes, I believe, people can “burn” bad bridges simply by choosing a better bridge.  If you have bad choices in your life (it could even be something unrelated to one of the things we talked about – it could be anger issues, bigotry, overeating, gambling, overspending…) – call them out on the floor!  Make a decision to burn that bridge and cross a better bridge.  Take up a new, positive hobby or – better yet – a cause you feel passionate about.  If you’re burning a particular bridge that you KNOW others are on… why not take up the cause?!  After all, you know the pitfalls, the temptations, and so forth.  Pull a Harriet Tubman and go back for others who are in bondage.

You could make a positive difference in the lives of others.  What a legacy!

It’s time for the ME generation and the FACEBOOK generation to wake up and take a look around.  There’s more to life than you and more important things than letting the good times roll. Snap out of it and lend a hand.

A final thought about decisions and choices.  If you’re on the fence about something, or waving back and forth like an autumn leaf on a tree – remember this:  With time, indecision becomes decision. If you’re indecisive about making your life COUNT for something – you’re actually making your decision.  You’ve decided that it will count for nothing.

Talk about a tragedy.

If you have any special causes or crosses you’ve personally taken up, use the comments section to bring attention to them.  That’s how all great progress begins – bringing attention to the need.  If you are interested in finding a cause that needs you, first of all GOOD FOR YOU!  Second of all, one of the first places I’d go is http://pujolsfamilyfoundationblog.org/

Drug abusers young and old alike would do well to consider joining a drug addiction recovery program to completely eliminate drugs from their lives.

Breast Cancer: Surprising Ways to Reduce Your Risks

Surprising, As in Flabbergasting-ly Surprising

by joi

in Health, Must Reads

Breast Cancer Prevention Starts at HOME!

Eat Hormone-free Meat and Dairy. When we eat meat and dairy products, we’re also eating the residue of what those animals ate, including pesticides, growth hormones and contaminants. Choose hormone-free beef or dairy to eliminate those traces of hormones that can enter our bodies and contribute to an increased risk of breast cancer. – Breast Cancer Fund.org

It’s nearly the end of October and that means several important things:

  • Time for Joi to put up her Christmas tree (yes, I’m one of those annoying early birds… sorry)
  • Time to buy my outside cats plenty of straw for their loft
  • Time to bake those Sweet Potato Pies!
  • Time to start Christmas shopping
  • An end to Breast Cancer Awareness Month

The one that concerns me is the last one.  As a mother of three daughters I am pre-conditioned to love all females.  Every one of them symbolizes my much, much, much beloved and treasured daughters.  So I’ve loved seeing all of the extra talk about preventing breast cancer.  I’ve heard my own daughters talking about breast cancer prevention, about getting extra exercise, about eating healthier, and about choosing Breast Cancer as one of the diseases they personally want to support and fund.

Eat Your Veggies, but Kick the Can. We all know vegetables are great for us, but the lining in canned food can leach chemicals like BPA. Farmers’ market-fresh vegetables are a better choice, but if you can’t make it to the market or want something out of season, choose frozen over canned or look for brands that make BPA-free cans. – Breast Cancer Fund.org

It has been a wonderful thing and I can only hope that November 1st doestn’t bring it all entirely to an end.  How educated (and healthier) we’d all be if other diseases had their own month to raise awareness!

Before October runs out of time, I want to tell you about another GREAT resource for Breast Cancer awareness and prevention: Breast Cancer Fund.org.

Breast Cancer Fund is all about raising awareness for Breast Cancer treatment and prevention. Their October never ends… they’re heores/heroines proudly wearing pink capes!

Here’s something I do and something I tell my daughters to do as well.  Now…. I’m suggesting it to you as well. I’m bossy like that when it comes to health.  I have a Favorites folder on my computer called HEALTH – I place the best websites under this folder that have resources, information, news, recipes, and so forth that promote better health and fitness.   Dr. Oz lives in this folder as does Everyday Health, WebMD, the American Heart Association,  Breast Cancer Fund.org, and a host of others.

I have certain times of the day/week (those that update often warrant daily peeks) when I check in on these trusted sites for news and updates.  You’d really wax especially brilliant if you did the same.

Breast Cancer Fund has a great publication that you’ll love, State of Evidence: The Connection Between Breast Cancer and the Environment.

The science is here: it’s State of the Evidence: The Connection Between Breast Cancer and the Environment, the landmark publication from the Breast Cancer Fund.

Our just-released sixth edition catalogues the available scientific research into breast cancer’s links to toxic chemicals and radiation.

arrow2 View State of the Evidence online.

Find out why….

  • We should take special care to protect pregnant women, newborns, young children and teens from exposures to certain chemicals.
  • Exposure to mixtures of chemicals in everyday products matters.
  • Traditional factors like family history represent only a small part of breast cancer risk.
  • “Just a little” exposure to some chemicals and radiation can be a big concern.

The weight of the evidence can be overwhelming. The good news is, the Breast Cancer Fund is working every day to translate this science into action that reduces breast cancer risk for you and for all women. In fact, we use State of the Evidence as a roadmap that shapes our public education and policy work.

Toss (or Cover) the Crumbling Furniture. Older furniture with foam stuffing, cushions or mattresses could contain harmful flame-retardants called PBDEs, and, if the foam is falling apart, the PBDEs are more likely to be released into the environment. Exposure over time could increase the risk for breast cancer, so it may be time to upgrade that hand-me-down easy chair! – Breast Cancer Fund.org

I hope you’ll visit Breast Cancer Fund and learn more about the many things we can do to prevent breast cancer.  Click the following link and educate yourself, then share the information (and link) with your family, friends and everyone you know!  – Reduce your risks and prevent breast cancer

Ellen DeGeneres: A Plea to End Bullying

Please Take a Stand Against Cyber Bullying

by joi

in Helping Children, Make a Difference, Must Reads

The video below is a plea from Ellen DeGeneres regarding teenage bullying. She sums up, beautifully, everything that’s been running through my mind since reading about the most recent tragedy. Another precious young life has been destroyed because of individuals who don’t have enough going on in their own lives to keep from nosing into other lives.

After being what is termed cyber-bullied, Rutgers University freshman Tyler Clementi jumped to his death. The short (and heartbreaking story): Tyler’s roommate apparently set up spy cameras in their dorm room – recording Tyler kissing another young man. He then went to a young female student’s room and fired up the livestream recording.

The kids (you know, the ones without interesting enough lives to keep them busy) then distributed the video over Twitter.

Mortified, young Tyler Clementi said his goodbyes on Facebook and jumped to his death.

Cyber Bullying Has to End

As someone who loves young people more than I love my next breath, I am completely shaken by this whole thing. Some people are hoping that the young people who caused this (or should I say played a role in causing this) get years in prison. Personally, I can’t see even more lives wasted as a glorious solution.

They should be made to do community service, in my opinion, and lots of it. They should have to join a group that seeks to find a solution for bullying. Maybe they should be guinea pigs – allowing us to probe under their skin to find out just what sort of people find bullying to be an entertaining sport.

My mind is drawing blanks as to where one would even look for a solution to cyber bullying. As adults who know better, are we setting the example?

Here’s an example.  What about all of the “touched up” photos that are everywhere online featuring celebrities?  The blogs show the original picture of the individual, along with the photoshopped, airbrushed, and often completely altered version.  People take great pleasure in these.  Recently, there were pictures of a Madonna photo shoot – before and after.  I have to admit, even I laughed at the headline (Re-Touched, Not For the vVery First Time).

Clever, right?  Well,maybe not.

As a society, we’ve become kind of obsessed with “knocking people down” and “exposing” them.  Why is that? Most of us have all that we need and then some…. Why not want the same for everyone?   At what point did we stop pulling for people and start pushing them?

If Madonna’s arms are airbrushed, so freaking what?!  Why fixate on that? Fixate on her career and the fact that she looks amazing.

We have to STOP making the act of “knocking people down” a form of entertainment. We need stricter laws, I acknowledge that, but we need – first and foremost – to look deep inside of us and ask ourselves, “What makes us behave like monsters?!”  It isn’t cool, it isn’t cute, and it in no way makes us look better to anyone – least of all to God.

Since the beginning of time, being “different” has kind of marked a person. Whether it’s your sexuality, your race, your appearance, or how you talk – if you’re different from the “norm,” people will sit up and take notice.  Those who are comfortable in their own skin and are completely have their act together will notice you, then grant you the freedom to live your own life.  They may not 100 percent agree with everything you do, but they’ll fight for your right to live your own life – safely and happily.  Besides, they’re too busy living their own lives to interfere with yours’!

However, the uncool crowd – those filled with hatred, prejudices, and vile – will do more than just notice you. They’ll do all they can to ostracize you, bully you, and try to make everyone else do the same.  That’s all they’ve got – they don’t have any real game to speak of.

Steps We Can Take to End Cyber Bullying

  1. Take a Stand. Talk to everyone you know about the destructiveness and ugliness of bullying others. Be bold.  When you see someone bullying others, point out that it isn’t funny.  If you normally follow people on Facebook or Twitter or visit blogs that do this sort of thing, stop!  Don’t support anyone or anything that makes bullying entertainment. Take a stand… but first make sure you’re on the right side.
  2. Talk to Your Kids if You Suspect They’re Being Bullied. Whether your kids are the ones who’d be considered “different” from the norm or your kids are smack dab in the middle of Norm-ville, talk to them about bullying.  If you suspect that your son or daughter is being bullied, don’t be passive – be pro-active and do everything in your power to make the bullying stop.  Do your homework and find role-models for them to look up to – people who have not only overcome the stigma of being “different” but have made it downright fashionable!
  3. Talk to Your Kids Even if They Aren’t Considered “Different.”  I would be just as worried about my children becoming bullies as I would be about them being bullied. The kids who now face charges in the death of individuals they’ve bullied?  I wouldn’t want to change places with their parents for anything in the world.  Think about that for a minute.  Can you imagine living with the fact that your child not only played a role in another child’s death but that your child’s entire life is now VERY negatively affected as a result.  Is there anything sadder than young lives being destroyed? Please talk to your kids today – don’t put it off another minute.  Be certain they know the consequences of bullying – EVEN if it’s young girls talking about other young girls on Facebook or in the lunchroom. You never know the emotional stability of another person, your cruel words may be the last they can cope with.  Please be sure your children truly “get” this.  Make an ass of yourself if you have to – get your point across.
  4. Support stricter laws for bullying and cyber bullying. Let your lawmakers know that we’ve had enough. Let your voice be heard and encourage others to take a stand as well.  If young people see that we’re standing up for them, maybe they won’t feel so alone.

I honestly hope this is something you’ll think long and hard about.  Please talk to the young people in your life and, again, please take a stand.  Take an honest look at the people you hang around with offline or the people online who you follow on social media sites, forums, or blogs.  If you ever detect any form of bullying or intolerance, run… don’t walk… in the other direction.  If you stick around, you’re condoning what they do.  You’re an enabler.

Be a part of the solution, not a part of the problem.  As someone who loves young people, I’m begging you.

Random Thoughts Covered with Peanut Butter

Self Help and Self Growth Advice

by joi

in Helping Children, Make a Difference, Must Reads

While I was making an outstanding Peanut Butter Sheet Cake (I’ll have the recipe up on my food blog today – trust me, you’ll want this one in the worst way) yesterday, my mind went on one of its famous wandering expeditions.  I found myself deliberating in a lot of different neighborhoods:

  • A movie my husband and I saw Friday – SALT.  It stars my favorite actress, Angelina Jolie, so naturally we saw it on opening night.  Awesome movie! I debated whether or not I liked it as well as or better than Mr. and Mrs. Smith and Wanted.  I decided that SALT was one of her 2 best movies to date.  With that dilemma solved, the brain headed off in a different direction.
  • Why can’t rice cakes have a gazillion calories and cake, cookies, pies, fudge, etc have virtually nil.  Why can’t it be a world where Bob Harper and Jillian Michaels say, “Calories in… Calories out… Eat all the peanut butter fudge and cheesecake you want, but if you even touch a rice cake – I’ll know and I’ll know.  I’ll yell. You’ll cry.”
  • Why do pets ever have to die? One of my outside cats died a few days ago.  Fortunately my youngest daughter’s boyfriend buried him for me.  Pets dying just seems so unnecessary and cruel.  Why can’t our pets just live and live and live…  This little guy (“Scratch”) was one of the sweetest-natured cats we’ve ever had. I’d just look at him and he’d start purring.  When I petted him or talked baby talk to him (yes, I’m one of those cat lovers), forget about it – his body would nearly explode with purring.  Love him muchly. Miss him terribly.
  • Why are the St. Louis Cardinals shopping around for more pitchers when pitching isn’t our weakness this year.  Wev’e got 3 of the best starting pitchers in all of baseball, a guy in the bullpen (Motte) that’s scary good, and a few other relievers who’d be equally scary good if they got more work – but with starting pitchers like Adam Wainwright, Chris Carpenter, and Jamie Garcia – sometimes they’re like Maytag repairmen out there.

My final thoughts were centered around people who seemingly love to help others.  Not just the ones who come through for others, but the ones who come through and don’t resent it.  A lot about Rusty ( he’s daughter #3′s boyfriend) reminds me of my husband. They’re hard workers with great senses of humor.  They had to overcome difficult childhoods and don’t seem to harbor the slightest bit of bitterness.

Rusty also has a trait that reminds me of my mom (and a trait I certainly hope I possess).  He is always incredibly willing to do whatever he can to help other people.  Not just willing – downright happy about it!  My mom was the same way.  She’d do everything in her means – and often beyond her means – to help someone… anyone… who needed it.  Smiled the whole time doing it.  The only thing she seemed sorry about or seemed to regret was that she couldn’t do more.   She never complained.  In addition to working full-time in the school system, she worked with and volunteered for the local Red Cross, the Lion’s Club, and the Salvation Army.  I remember countless times she’d come home and tell me about the children she’d helped during the day.  She didn’t name names, of course, but I heard all about the underprivileged  little girls and boys who she’d taken to doctors, optometrists, dentists, etc.  She’d tell how excited they were when she took them to McDonald’s, Dairy Queen, or Wendy’s.

Sometimes these precious little babies – born without a plastic spoon let alone a silver spoon – would mention to her that they didn’t have this or they wish they had that.  If these things were within her reach, they soon had just what they needed – whether it was a pair of gloves, a notebook, a backpack, rain boots, pajamas, etc.

She didn’t go to any agency for the funds.  She went to her own purse.  Being able to help others who needed it made her smile more than just about anything.  She only frowned and only complained when she couldn’t do more.

She was even more generous to her family.  All of us knew that if we needed anything in the world, she’d be there for us, smiling the whole time.  She was a giver and relished the role.

As I glazed the peanut butter cake, my thoughts finally wrapped themselves up with this:  Our homes, our families, our communities, and our world would all be a lot better off if there were more joyful givers amongst us.  If more people smiled when they helped others – rather than looking around for pats on the back, accolades, or praise.  If, rather than feeling sorry for themselves, more people saved their compassion for others.

My daughter had gotten Rusty out of bed to bury Scratch for me.  He’d just been in bed for a few hours (after working a night shift).  He walked around my yard with me, looking for just the right spot.  He even found a perfect little box and carefully dug a large whole in the merciless heat.

When he was through I began telling him how grateful I was but he stopped me.  He just said, You know I was happy to do it.

And I did know.  I also know something else, I’d never have heard the end of it if I’d attempted to do it myself!

I guess the ambitions of this post are simple:  To make people more aware of what’s going on in the lives of the people around them. Stop worrying so much about how many hours a week you work, how little sleep you got last night, or how “burdened” you believe yourself to be.

Take a good look around. Look at other people’s needs. Ask yourself what you can do to touch the lives of other people.  Of course, if you’re one of those people who resent doing anything for anyone else, you’d be better off watching the grass grow.

The world doesn’t need any more selfish people – it has plenty.  The world needs more selfless people – it hasn’t nearly enough.

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Ever Wonder what your brain craves on the weekend? Find out in the newest article on Out of Bounds.

The Skinny on Time Management by Jim Randel: Another Must Read Skinny Book

How to Manage Your Time Effectively

by joi

in Book Reviews, Books I Love, Must Reads, Time Management

As I’ve said before on Self Help Daily and Out of Bounds, I’m hooked on The Skinny On books by Jim Randel. They’re extremely fun to read, they look colorful and wickedly handsome on your desk and shelves, the illustrations leave you smiling inside-out, and they’re absolutely packed with great information, advice and tips.

The most recent Skinny book I’ve read is The Skinny on Time Management: How to Maximize Your 24-Hour Gift.

“Time Management.”

The phrase, alone, conjures up a host of reactions, doesn’t it?  From “Time Management? Is there really such a beast?” to “Time management? Where do I get me some of that?!” -  and every reaction in between, one thing’s for sure, you hardly ever hear anyone say,”I’m an expert at time management.  In fact, I think there are too many hours in the day…”

If anyone ever did say that, I’d be tempted to kick them in the shin.  The warning has been issued.

The Skinny on Time Management: How to Maximize Your 24-Hour Gift by Jim Randel is presented in a way that can actually be read in one hour. There’s little doubt in my mind that this is true. I, however, am not a good example. I enjoyed my advance copy (sent to review on Self Help Daily) in the front yard one evening – between a bird feeding station and flower garden. I kept taking time to reflect on what I’d read by staring at butterflies, hummingbirds, golden finches, and the like.

When I read, I like to mentally digest each nugget of information and each Jim Randel book is packed with golden nuggets. I also keep a notebook and pen nearby to jot down notes or ideas as they come to me. A few times I was so furiously taking notes that the butterflies and birds were watching me.

The hurrier I go, the more I fall behind. – Anonymous

As I always state in my book reviews, it’s especially hard to give a book review for a book (or series of books) that blow me straight away. If I”m lukewarm on a book or simply like it, it’s easy – I just say so. I give the link, I pull out a quote or two and that’s that. If I don’t like the book, it’s even easier – I pretend the whole thing never happened and forget that the book and I ever met…. as in zero review. Zero mention.

Well, you can’t mention something that never happened.

However, when it’s a book that I’d dearly love to see all of you read, it’s a bit of a dilemma. How can I stress upon you the magnificence of a book without giving away key points, ideas, and advice from the book? I’ve read some book reviews that pretty much give away the entire heart of a book – to me, as a book lover extraordinaire, that’s almost a criminal act. The true beauty of a book lies in the nuggets that are experienced, first-hand, by the reader.

Someone once suggested that I pluck out one key element and present it. While I use this approach most of the time, I do so with hesitation – after all, what if every book reviewer plucked out a different element? Then the precious book would be all but given away online!

Nothing worse than a worry-wart-book-worm.

Time is the coin of life. Only you can determine how it will be spent. – Carl Sandburg

If time management is a concern for you, your solution is one click away. In The Skinny on Time Management: How to Maximize Your 24-Hour Gift, Jim Randel has done all of the work for us. He has researched the topic at great length – reading the giants in the field of time management. He then brilliantly presents what he has uncovered in an entertaining yet highly informative presentation.

You’ll find tips, advice, quotes, recommendations, and simple ideas to help you get the most from your 24 hours.

I was delighted to read that Jim Randel is an advocate of to do lists – I live by my to do lists! However, the author takes to do lists to a whole new level of productivity with a few simple tactics that make all the difference. I’ve already implemented a few of the tips I picked up from The Skinny on Time Management: How to Maximize Your 24-Hour Gift and I’ve been extremely impressed.

I have, as you may know, many blogs and websites. With all the other hats I wear offline (mother, wife, avid cook, bird watcher, baseball fanatic… come on Cardinals…. movie addict, gardener…), this leaves me without a lot of leeway in the amount of time I have to work with each day. Time management has always been a huge issue with me.

In fact, when the e-mail came through, asking if I’d be interested in an advance copy of this book to review, I was having one of “those” days and couldn’t help laughing at the irony. A lot of us laugh when we’re about to completely crack.

I have been using the tactics and ideas from The Skinny on Time Management: How to Maximize Your 24-Hour Gift for nearly a week and am blown away with the impact it has had.

I have found myself able to accomplish more – and one of the main reasons can be attributed to what Jim Randel advises to do with one’s to do list…. a little classification tweak that has made a world of difference for me.

And I believe it will for you as well.

For less than what you’d pay to eat out, you can buy a book that can lead you to being able to afford more meals out.

The Skinny on Time Management:

  • Learn how to improve your memory with 10 outstanding tips.
  • Learn how improving your memory will improve your time management.
  • Learn the importance of To Do lists.
  • Learn how to make your To Do list work for you like never before.
  • Using your hours to maximum effectiveness.
  • What INERTIA is and the evil role it plays.
  • Organization tips and strategies.
  • A link to a fun, online self-assessment test to determine how well you manage your time.
  • How to determine how you are budgeting your time currently.
  • Habits, quadrants, and sequences… oh my!
  • Techniques for time management.
  • You’ll learn how to Live on 24 Hours a Day.

You simply will not find more delightful books than those written by Jim Randel in The Skinny On series.  Come on, you know me!  I’m the person book worms look up to.  I read a great deal of books and am familiar with what’s out there.  The Skinny On books can’t be topped.

I strongly urge you to grab a copy of The Skinny On Time Management today.  Then, I further urge you to grab copies of the rest in the Skinny On series.

I resolve to live with all my might while I do live. I resolve never to lose one moment of time and to improve my use of time in the most profitable way I possibly can. I resolve never to do anything I wouldn’t do, if it were the last hour of my life. – Jonathan Edwards

To order your copy today, go to The Skinny on Time Management: How to Maximize Your 24-Hour Gift – it’ll rank up there with being one of the smartest things you did this year.

More quotes about Time and Time Management.

Which Dog Do You Feed the Most?

The Importance of the Choices We Make

by joi

in Daily Quote, Must Reads

“There is a good dog and a bad dog fighting within each of us. The one that is going to win is the one we feed the most” - Chinese Proverb

As the wonderful quote above reminds us, we are in control of our destiny, our character, and our lives.  We’re in the driver’s seat – not our spouse, our parents, our children, our neighbors, our co-workers, our favorite self help authors… we’re in control.  Always have been.  Always will be.

It all comes down to choices.  The good, old-fashioned choices we make every day.  When we blow up at our spouse for a comment that rubs us the wrong way or when we fail to budget our money or time like we know we should – we make poor choices and these poor choices always have a price tag attached.

I don’t like using myself for positive examples, simply because I’m as gloriously flawed as anyone.  I have to confront these flaws on a daily basis, so I know all too well that I don’t make a good example for too many things!  However, I did make a smart move yesterday.  My husband came home during the day just for a pit stop before heading back to work.  It was obvious from his demeanor, expression, voice, and black cloud following directly over his head that his day was going horrendously. It would have been easy to have gotten annoyed with him for the grumpy karma he came and dumped into the house within those 10 minutes (!!!) and I would have been well within my rights to have said, “Buddy, just go back where you came from!“   But I actually outdid myself.

As soon as he took his grumbling self and little black cloud back to work, I went to the store and got all the ingredients I needed to make one of his favorite meals.  I’d actually had something else planned (and something that I already had the ingredients for) but I just thought, “If his day’s going this badly, I think he’d really appreciate stew and yeast rolls for supper.”

So, off I went.

He definitely did appreciate the meal and his mood improved greatly.  It made me feel good to make him happier but it also made me feel good to outsmart myself.  The temptation was there to make the bad choice but I kicked it to the curb and found the right choice.

How much better would my finances be if I did that every time I’m tempted to overspend?!?!  How much better would my health be and how much better would my Levi’s fit if I made the right choices at the table or in the restaurant?!?!

Choices.  Make the better choice and better things happen. Feed the good dog and he grows strong and healthy.  Feed the bad dog and he gets the upper hand.  Honestly, the choice is clear.

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