Self Help
What We Can Learn From The Biggest Loser’s Ashley
As you know, I’m a self-confessed addict of The Biggest Loser. I never make it through an episode without crying, laughing out loud, and feasting on high levels of inspiration and motivation. And that’s all before the first commercial break. This show is in a league of its own. It’s one of the few truly important shows on television and one of few that I’d totally recommend to anyone and everyone. It can change your life.
This has been one of the best seasons of The Biggest Loser yet. There hasn’t been one single contestant that I wanted to drop kick to Kansas (Remember Tracy?). In fact, each elimination has kind of smarted and a few brought tears. Any of these remaining 4 could be – and should be – the winner.
I’ve got nothing but love for the entire group, but there’s one particular contestant that I fell hard for: Ashley. What a doll! As the mother of three girls, I’m always a bit partial to young girls. When they’re on the show, I pull for them with the same passion I shop for coffee with. There’s something extra special about this girl, though, and it’s all in her beautiful personality. She and her gorgeous smile have lit up this entire season and I guess I always knew that there’d be a future “Ashley post.”
Understandably, these contestants are going through huge, emotional changes. They’ve been uprooted and forced to face – head on – past mistakes and unhealthy lifestyles. We cry as they cry, we curse fatty, fried foods with them, and we feel their pain when they see the original number on the scale.
They struggle with challenges – especially early on. Again, understandably. They get frustrated and some lash out while others cry. Some, like Daris just summon up fresh, newly-found courage and charge right through it. My girl, Ashley, fell countless times early on. How she kept from really hurting herself is beyond me.
But she kept getting back up. And what’s truly remarkable – none of it ever took her personality away and it never wiped the smile off of her beautiful face. She seemed to always be extremely thankful for being on the show and always ready to give it her all.
In the last episode, the contestants were watching early clips of themselves. Like most past contestants, the rest of these contestants cried at the sight of their former selves. Ashley smiled. That struck a chord with me. She didn’t seem to detest the old Ashley – she knew that she was still a beautiful, vivacious, fun, spirited, and lovely girl. In a clip that was about to show one of her epic falls, Ashley laughed and said something like, “Here it comes!”
She’s having fun with life and that’s probably the number one trait I’m drawn to in people.
I realize that it’s risky to write an article or tribute like this when the season isn’t quite through – I mean my girl could go all swamp girl psycho in the next episode. Hopefully she won’t go to the dark side.. there are far too many people there already.
Personally, I think she’ll finish as beautifully as she started.
We can learn something from Ashley’s attitude and upbeat personality. Our situation shouldn’t dictate our personality or our happiness. We should be who we are regardless of what’s happening to us or around us. You can tell Ashley would be a fun person to be around. She wouldn’t mope around, complain, or wallow in misery or self-pity. Since she is human, I’m sure she’d have her moments – but I’m also sure she’d have the humor and spirit to overcome them in record time.
At the first of the season, Ashley seemed like a complete underdog. There was something about her, though, that told me she’d be around for a while. There was a certain determination and focus in her eyes – plus, whenever she fell she didn’t yell at Jillian or snap at Bob. She didn’t whine.
She just got up.
At one point she was talking to the camera (how odd must that feel?) about how she knew she was considered the underdog. Her smile and her words made her an all-time favorite of mine. She said, “I’m going to sneak up like a ninja on their a$$es.”
And she did.
She did a couple of other things too:
- She reminds us all that life is beautiful and is worthy of embracing whether we feel like we’re on top of the world or not. No matter what we think we have that is so hideous, there are always others who have it far worse.
- With her beautiful face, stylish clothes, and perfect hair, Ashley proves that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes.
- Her sense of humor and upbeat personality show that if a girl can smile while climbing such a huge mountain (with falls along the way!), there’s no excuse for the rest of us.
- Ashley seemed, to me, to be almost like a tonic to her friends. When she was around Mike and Daris, they seemed happier. We should all have that effect on people around us. They should leave our presence happier than they were when they first entered it. Are you a tonic or a wet blanket?
- What others think of us or expect from us isn’t what counts. The only thing that matters is what WE think of us and expect from us.
Who, or what, would you like to sneak up on like a Ninja? Whatever it is…. disarm it with your smile, jump back up when you fall, and believe in yourself.
Going All Robin Hood with Time Management
Erroll Flynn in “The Adventures of Robin Hood” 1938 Giclee Print
Buy at AllPosters.com
I’m actually going to put together a post here. Rah, rah, rah! Since the weather turned so gorgeous, I have trouble staying indoors. There are so many things to do in the yard. In fact, recently, one of my daughters asked me which “site” I’d been working on lately and I said, “The one outside!” Sometimes SIGHTS win out over SITES. Which is something that I hope each and every person who works online realizes. I’ve often said that we should all be very careful that the backs of our heads aren’t the views our family members see most.
But it’s more than that. It’s about balance. Those of us who work from home – especially those alpha humans of you who have outside jobs AND work online – have to be particularly mindful of the balance we’re creating in our lives. A while back, I felt like my life’s balance was a bit out of whack.
You know me… I broke out the notebook and pen.
I wrote down things that were important to me – activities that made my day worthwhile, enjoyable, and productive. Not JUST worthwhile, not JUST enjoyable, and not JUST productive – I included everything: spending time with my family, playing with my cats, staying on top of housework, Bible reading, Agatha Christie reading, cooking, gardening, writing, e-mail correspondence, baking, , bird-watching, walking, yoga, my blogs, baseball (watching, not playing) and so on.
It occurred to me that some of my favorite activities were being neglected, because I didn’t have time for them. Then I took a close look at areas where I could “steal” a little time – like a Time Management Robin Hood (I’m beginning to think that Social Media is the Sheriff of Nottingham).
Honestly, these periodic self-examinations are vital. Why? Because we humans (yes, even you alpha humans) are creatures of habit. We grow so accustomed to doing particular things and doing them in a particular way that we don’t even realize what’s going on half the time.
Why do you think refrigerators get so overrun with leftovers (which reminds me…)? No one in their right mind would stack container upon container of food that’ll never see the light of day again on purpose. We just don’t think about it. We’re cleaning off the table and there are a few spoonfuls left of baby carrots – – – – of course they have to be salvaged! Into a plastic container they go for a future meal.
Never to be heard from again.
We just get sort of wrapped up in a way of doing things and we, half the time, don’t fully even realize what we’re doing.
My husband told me not long ago about an older man that he does business with. This man is what my husband calls “Straight up country.” The man was doing his business in a way that, frankly, didn’t make sense. When my husband (politely) asked him why he did things this particular way, the man said,”Well, that’s just how we always done it.” How many of us could put on our best “country-fied” accent and say the same thing about our systems, “Well, that’s just how we always done it.”
Whether it worked or not!
Time management is one of those things in life that, in my opinion, requires frequent adjustments. Why? Because things change! What worked like a charm three months ago may not work at all today. Chores change, projects change, seasons change, Monday night sports change, goals change, situations change, and WE change.
We may require more “ME time” now than we did then. We may simply want to spend more time bird-watching and flower sniffing this month than last. We may have a clear goal that has come into focus and we may need more time to work toward that goal.
The point is, always take a good look at your average day and how you spend it. Are you spending your time or is your time spending you?
Grab pen and paper and write down how you spend a typical day. Are there any areas that are given too much time at the expense of others? Trim off a little of this excess time and put it to better use.
Below are just a few Time Management tips that may help.
- Set goals for particular projects. If you want a particular task completed, give yourself a deadline. It keeps you honest and, often, will bring out your best. We tend to get pretty creative when we’re under the gun.
- Prioritize. Make an honest assessment – which things are the most important? Tackle them first and put the others on the back burner.
- If a project is particularly difficult or time-consuming, take it on early in the day. If I’m working on a project that involves a new learning curve, I schedule it for my am coffee hours. This is the period of time when I have the least interruptions, the most caffeine, and my mind seems to be the sharpest. Personally, I credit the coffee.
- Do – NOT – Procrastinate. It’s as easy to do as breathing, and sometimes infinitely more enjoyable, but it causes more headaches tomorrow. Do it now and be done with it.
- Always beware of time wasters. Now let me say this: If you have a particular activity that brings you peace, enjoyment, and serves as a way for you to unwind – it’s not a time waster! Sitting back after a long day and watching a re-run of The Golden Girls (love those gals!), catching up on tweets, or playing a video game is a perfect way to unwind. What one person may call “wasting time” can be the next person’s sanity preserver. Everyone needs personal time and, again, that’s not a time waster. However, if there are activities that you find yourself spending an unusual amount of time doing – while getting nothing out of them – it’s time to invite them to leave. If e-mail has become overwhelming, unsubscribe to a few newsletters that no longer serve a purpose. (Frankly, half of them have become sales pitches and commercials anyway – PET PEEVE alert: Don’t promise me something gloriously cool in your title then throw a price tag on it once I’m in the e-mail!)
- Stop chasing perfection. The person who thinks their outfit, their hair, their blog post, their blog’s design, their tweet updates – everything – has to be perfect is chasing unicorns. Perfection doesn’t exist any more than unicorns do, and chasing after either simply makes a spectacle out of the one giving chase. It also wastes precious time.
- Create a schedule and stick to it. If you allot yourself the 9:00 to 10:00 hour for a certain task, you will do everything in your power to make the deadline. Again, when we know we have a “cut off” time, we dig deep into our well of creativity and make things happen.
- If you do make a schedule, don’t fill every hour of the day with work. What kind of a life is that?! Even Superman takes his cape off when his work is done.
- Make certain times of the day a “HANDS OFF” zone – a period of time when you don’t even touch the computer or iPhone (or any other tech-y marvel). I read an article not long ago about “Unplugging” your kids. We adults need to be periodically unplugged as well – it’ll make us more efficient!
- Don’t take on more than you can handle. Don’t be afraid to say, “I’m sorry but I’m simply too busy right now.” Don’t let other people make unnecessary demands on your time. If they aren’t cool enough to keep their pens and plans off of your to do list, they’re the ones with the problem, not you. Don’t let other people confiscate your time. Just refuse to let them have it.
A final thing about your daily schedule: Be sure to include activities that promote your health, your happiness, and enrich your mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. Ask yourself what activities you enjoy the most. Are you able to do these activities or are other things crowding them out? Your happiness is at stake, here!
Life is absolutely beautiful. It can be unexpected, for certain, and it can completely catch us off guard at times – but, make no mistake about it, life is breathtakingly beautiful and incredibly precious. If you’re too busy – chasing dollar signs, fortune, fame, or the perfect body – you just might miss the magic. Slow down. Sit down. Most of all, enjoy the ride.
Never postpone happiness and never squeeze what you want to do out of the way for things you think you have to do. There’s room for both. So, my good merry men and women, examine your day and see if you need to rob any time from one area to shore up another. And, seriously, keep an eye on social media sites – they’re the real robbers.
Now, for that refrigerator….
~ Joi
What Your Words Reveal and How They Affect Self Growth
What we say reveals who we are.
Cats, children, peanut butter fudge, coffee… These are just some of the billions of things that fascinate me. There’s something else you can add to the list. Something I spend at least 8 hours each day surrounding myself with – sorting them out, putting them under the microscope to determine if they’re suitable for the job or not, toying with them, and so on.
Words, glorious words.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve been at their mercy. The six year old that read the back of her colorful cereal box as she ate a bowl of its sweet contents can still be found reading the back of her colorful cereal box as she eats its healthy contents. The girl’s quite a bit older and a little bit taller, the cereal is (usually) healthier, but the love of reading is still very much in place.
I love the spoken word every bit as much as the written word. As you know, I collect quotes as though my very life depends upon it. I don’t just jot down quotes as I read, I jot down quotes from tv shows, movies, speeches, and (often) even casual conversations – I just wait until the conversation’s over! One of my favorite quotes is actually from my daughter Emily. Years ago, she and her sisters were riding their bikes and Emily wrecked, breaking her collar bone. About a week passed and the sleepless nights, frustrating sling, limited freedom, and pain were taking its toll. We were talking about the whole shebang and she sighed and said, “What doesn’t kill you makes for a great story.” She then pointed out that one day it’d make a great story.
For some reason, for such a small girl – in so much discomfort – to put her thoughts together in such a way, and give them a positive spin, no less, made me smile. It still does.
I don’t quite remember what I had said or done at the time, but I remember my husband once laughing and saying that he wished he could see inside my head. Fortunately, for him (I just don’t think he’s ready for that), that’s not quite possible. However, there IS a can’t miss way to tell a lot about what goes on inside someone else’s head: Just listen to their words.
Mothers who are particularly close to their children can often tell what’s going on inside their child’s mind by paying close attention to their words. Many times they make what they think is a grand announcement, when we’d been expecting it for months. They’ll look at us and say, “Well, aren’t you surprised?” while we think, “Surprised? I’ve been reading this between your words for 5 months, what took YOU so long to figure it out?!?!”
We’re all more transparent than we’d like to believe. We give more of ourselves away with our words than we realize. In fact, if we truly realized the extent to which we expose our minds each time we open our mouths, we wouldn’t just think twice before speaking – we’d think over our words about 10 times apiece.
This truth can actually help us along our self help and self improvement journey. If you’re like me and like to jot everything down, grab a pen and paper. If you’re like my husband and like to bounce everything off the insides of your head, just keep your mind handy. Now think about the past week. Write down (or visualize) your top 5 topics of conversation…. the things you frequently talked over with your family, friends, and co-workers. If this top 5 is in line with what you’re trying to accomplish in life, then your head is in the game. If the thoughts and topics of conversation are productive and constructive – you’re in it to win it!
However, if the most frequent topics of conversation are destructive, negative, or of a gossiping nature, you aren’t doing yourself or anyone else for that matter any good. Remember, our words only show what’s going on inside of our minds. If what’s spilling out of our mouth is negative, berating, sarcastic, or gossipy, that doesn’t say much for our think tank does it? Where’s that stinking thinking going to get us? Answer: Nowhere worth going.
Spend a little time thinking about… well… spend a little time thinking about what you’re thinking about. It’s coming out in your conversation. If you don’t like what you hear, tinker with your thoughts.
We can also flip this exercise around to help us understand the people around us a little better. What are their frequent topics of conversation? If someone you love frequently talks about wanting to lose weight – you can rest assured that it’s weighing heavily on their minds. Be the sort of “hero” to them you’d want someone to be for you – go walking with them, encourage them, take them to healthy restaurants and share healthy food and recipes with them.
Many times when someone talks about a subject frequently, it’s a cry for help – whether they even realize it or not.
Finally, be very careful when judging someone by their words. For example, if someone comes across as mean and hateful – many times it’s simply an indication that they are hurting inside. Different people handle pain and stress differently. Some get sad and mope around while others verbally abuse anything and everything within earshot. They sort of “take out” their stress on others like 6 year old kids having temper tantrums.
Whenever possible, try to get to the root of the problem and find out WHY their words are so angry. Don’t get caught up in the theatrics as much as you do the meaning behind the whole production.
Always remember to pay close attention to your words – they reveal more about you than you realize.
What we say reveals who we are.
How to Prevent Diabetes: Making Healthy Life Choices
My husband’s older brother was recently diagnosed with diabetes. Diabetes is a word that, for me, conjures up an image of an ogre. An huge, ugly, angry ogre. My mom battled diabetes for years and I saw, first hand, just how relentless this disease can be. I honestly admire diabetics because they fight a daily battle that most of us (hopefully.. prayerfully…) will never have to suit up for.
My mom, like many diabetics, got the worse end of the deal: Being diagnosed later in life. Personally, I think this makes the whole fight nastier. She, like my brother-in-law, was quite accustomed to strawberry shortcake, cokes, banana pudding and other lovelies we take for granted. When you’re diagnosed as an adult, you have to stop right in the middle of the road and completely change directions. The ogre stands in the way that you want to go – like a roadblock. And if you try to sneak past him, you’re going to pay.
My poor, hard-headed little mother (with a head-full of sweet teeth) tried to sneak past him often. The toll it took on her health ultimately led to heart disease, many hospital visits, and even a stint. In the end, she died far, far, far, far too young.
So, yeah, I’ll always hate diabetes and heart disease with a cruel, unChristian passion. (Hence the many articles on Self Help Daily about heart health, healthy eating, and creating a healthy lifestyle. The fight? It’s on!)
“Exercise: You don’t have time not to.”
– Author unknown
My brother-in-law’s diagnosis has reignited the flames of hatred for this disease and made me realize that we all need to keep this ogre (Diabetes) in mind when we go about our daily lives – making choices that directly affect our health and, thereby, the lives of everyone we love.
A few facts from Shop to Stop Diabetes.org:
- Diabetes kills more Americans every year than breast cancer and AIDS combined.
- It’s the #1 cause of blindness in adults.
- It doubles the risk of heart attack & stroke.
- 1 in 3 American children born today will develop diabetes if current trends continue.
- In the next 24 hours, 4,320 new cases of diabetes will be diagnosed.
- 1 in 4 Americans who have diabetes don’t know it.
Ogre.
Fortunately, there are actually things we can do to keep the ogre from showing up on our doorstep. As the Crucifix sends Count Dracula on his way, there are things we can do and things we can avoid that’ll send Diabetes crawling back into its corner.
“Did you ever stop to taste a carrot? Not just eat it, but taste it? You can’t taste the beauty and energy of the earth in a Twinkie.”
– Astrid Alauda
The American Diabetes Association and WebMD Provide A Wealth of Information Including:
- The larger your waist, the higher your risk of developing diabetes. People with “Apple” shapes (more fat around your middle than around your hips) are at a higher risk than “Pear” shapes (more fat around your hips and backside). All experts agree, getting in shape and maintaining a healthy weight is one of the most important steps to take for preventing diabetes.
- Watch how much you eat. We’ve become a society of big eaters – we eat often and we eat a great deal. Watch your portion sizes and eat to live, not live to eat.
- Get plenty of exercise. Couch potatoes are ripe for trouble! Be sure you get at least 30 minutes of activity at least 5 times a week.
- Address any health problems you have asap. If you’re overweight, lose the extra pounds. If you have high blood pressure, see a doctor. Use common sense and take control of your health and your life.
“When it comes to eating right and exercising, there is no ‘I’ll start tomorrow.’ Tomorrow is disease.” – Terri Guillemets
From WebMD.com: “A study done by the Harvard School of Public Health and published in The New England Journal of Medicine found that being overweight and obese was the single most important risk factor that predicted who would develop type 2 diabetes. During a 16 year follow-up period, study results showed that regular exercise — at least 30 minutes a day, five days a week — and an improved diet that’s low in fat and high in fiber significantly helped with type 2 diabetes prevention. The bottom line: type 2 diabetes prevention could be as easy as adopting healthy lifestyle habits.” – Preventing Type 2 Diabetes, WebMD.com (Click the link to learn more!)
Also…
- According to Medical News Today, broccoli may helpful in diabetes prevention. Broccoli contains phytonutrients — compounds that may help prevent diabetes, heart disease and some cancers.
The best six doctors anywhere
And no one can deny it
Are sunshine, water, rest, and air
Exercise and diet.
These six will gladly you attend
If only you are willing
Your mind they’ll ease
Your will they’ll mend
And charge you not a shilling.
– Nursery rhyme quoted by Wayne Fields, What the River Knows, 1990
Learn more about the causes and symptoms of diabetes at EverydayHealth.com