Ever notice that some people are easier to be around and more enjoyable to hang out with than other people? It isn’t necessarily the things they say or don’t say or the number of times they make us laugh. Actually it all comes down to this: How do they make us feel? How do we feel about life and ourselves when we’re around them?

Scientists from Harvard Medical School and University of California at San Diego tell us that happiness is, indeed, contagious.  What’s more, we can actually “catch” other people’s moods. Their study of more than 5,000 people over a 20 year period found that people are more likely to be happy when the people they spend the most time with are positive and upbeat.

Grumble guts, Eeyores, and Negative Nellys do nothing but pull our moods down to their level. Whether you encounter them online or in person, you’ll find yourself wanting nothing more than to avoid their presence at all costs. They make you feel down, angry, sad, discouraged, tense….

The reason? Mirror Neurons. Mirror neurons are nerve cells in the brain that make us automatically adopt the mood of those around us. The funny thing is, you can even “pick up on” someone’s negative vibes online!  Although I can’t prove it, I personally think some people are more susceptible to these effects than others. For instance, I’m highly, highly, highly susceptible to mirror neurons and their mojo, for better or worse.  If, for example, I come across someone in a comment’s section of a blog who is obviously just trying to pick a fight or be difficult and argumentative – I can literally feel my neck muscles tensing. Their negative energy seems to jump right out at me.

On the other end of the spectrum, when I come across people with positive energy, upbeat attitudes, and great vibes – a smile appears on my face without me even telling it to.

You may or may not feel the effects as strongly or as easily as I do, but make no mistake about it – you feel them.  And if that isn’t reason enough to choose who you hang out with carefully, nothing is.

Here’s the thing.  Ultimately, we can’t make everyone around us play nice and, quite frankly, blowing sunshine up their  keester amuses us far more than it does them.  We can, however, choose how we react to people and their moods.  If there are people in your life who seem to get you down, frustrate you, or on a consistent basis bring about negative feelings – recognize it  and do something about it. Maybe you can’t avoid these people – heck, maybe you don’t even want to.  That’s cool.  Just be on guard against the effect they have on you.  Often, just realizing the tendency can help you keep it from happening.

Try to lift their spirits when you can – make them laugh, help them recall happy memories, smile warmly and smile often.  Approach the time you spend with them determined to have the stronger “mood germs” and make them catch YOUR good mood rather than the other way around!

Give them an ear, give them a shoulder.  But don’t give them the power to affect your day.

Follow me on Twitter! http://twitter.com/JoiTaniaSigers

Are Moods Contagious?

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Every human being, of whatever origin, of whatever station, deserves respect. We must each respect others even as we respect ourselves. - U Thant

I’ve been thinking about respect lately. Not necessarily having respect for yourself and definitely not demanding respect from others. I’ve been thinking about respecting others and the blatant lack of this practice these days. I’m not a Pollyanna – I know we’ll all disagree with one another from time to time. I know there are some people who we’ll disagree with more often than we agree with them. Seriously, there are some individuals that I think would say grass was orange just to stir up a debate.

But this isn’t about the other person, is it? Respecting others begins in our own hearts and minds. If we consistently show a lack of respect toward others, the problem isn’t with them as much as it’s with us.

As you may know, I’m from the south – a fact that I’m very proud of… just as I’d be very proud to be from Minnesota or Iowa if my birth certificate boasted these states instead of Kentucky.   I think that being from the south often gives one a different view of the world. Maybe it’s the way we’re raised and the way our ancestors were raised, I don’t know. Anyway, where I come from….

• men open doors for ladies
• ladies appreciate the opened door, smile, and say “Thank You!“
• men try very hard not to swear in front of women
• men and women respect their Presidents, servicemen and women, Police Officers, etc.
• The Bible is the Good Word – always has been, always will be
• God is God.  He isn’t just a “higher power” or “the Man upstairs.”  (Come on, God isn’t such a hard name to say!)

The list goes on, but these are simply things I grew up with.  I suspect that many of you did as well – whether you’re from the north, south, east, or west.

Back to respect.

I am astounded lately at the number of people in the media, on blogs, in books, on television, and so on who show so much disrespect toward our Presidents -  Whether it’s President Obama or recent Presidents Carter, Clinton, Bush Sr. or Bush Jr.    I miss the day when people respected the office and the men in the office, whether they agreed with everything they stood for or not.

Yesterday, I was reading a really good (make that really, really, really good) book by an author who came across as highly intelligent, witty, and very gifted.  Then, out of the blue, this author referred to one of our recent presidents as a “fool.”  I re-read the passage again, to make sure I hadn’t taken it wrong.  This wasn’t even a political book for crying out loud.

A President.  In print.  A fool.  Not cool.

Men are respectable only as they respect. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Again, I know I have different opinions than many people (including this author) and I have an incredibly idealistic view of the world.    I know that, I own it as surely as I own my obsession with chocolate.  I admit, I don’t even care for the comedians who mock President Obama or Sarah Palin.  I know that’s going too far on my part, but there you have it.  I also didn’t like a particular magazine cover that displayed Mrs. Palin in shorts (looking like she’d been working on a farm), with a headline asking what we were going to do about her. Where’s the respect in that?  You may not agree with everything she or President Obama do or say, but a level of respect isn’t so much to ask for.

After all, when we show respect to others it reflects directly upon us and the level of respect we command.  Do you respect disrespectful people? Neither do I.

Something else, while I’m on a roll.  I hate the unprofessional manner that a lot of people are doing business online.  To use your blog, forum, social media, or whatever platform to attack another person’s integrity, work, ethics, popularity, or even hairstyle (don’t know where that one came from to be honest) just isn’t cool.  You know what it’s like?  When one adult “calls out” another adult on their own turf, it’s like a 13 year old girl running down another 13 year old girl on her own MySpace.  It’s her turf, she can say whatever she wants about the other girl – vent, baby, vent!  What’s more, she can have her own friends respond and say, “You’re so right! I don’t like her either!”

But you can’t expect all 13 year old girls to have the maturity to take up disagreements and disputes face to face, without an audience.

Kids call names and try to create a “pick sides” atmosphere.  Adults don’t.  Adults shouldn’t.

Again, a lot of it comes down to our buzz word of the day: R-E-S-P-E-C-T.   Now I guess you found out what it means to me…

What does it mean to you?

Respect for ourselves guides our morals; respect for others guides our manners. – Laurence Sterne

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Respect: Is It a Word We’ve All But Forgotten?

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Below is a guest post by Arina from Arina Nikitina.com. After Arina contacted me, I visited her site to have a look around. I always go to an About Page when I’m checking a new website or blog out for the first time – it feels like a handshake. When I saw the quote she had at the top of her about page, I knew we were going to get along brilliantly – not only is it one of my favorite, it’s pretty much my mantra: “If it’s not fun, you’re not doing it right.” – Bob Basso

After reading her wonderful article, I hope you’ll visit her bright and beautiful blog. You can always tell her the coffee drinking polar bear chick sent you. She’ll know exactly who you mean.

7 Sound Reasons to Have a Mentor in Your Life

“Many receive advice, few profit by it.” - Publilius Syrus

For the longest time, just like many other people, I underestimated the importance of having a mentor. After all why look for a specific person, when you can always turn to your parents, friends, colleagues, multiple social networks and even public forums when you need advice and moral support. If like me, you, are wondering why anyone would need a mentor, here are some serious reasons for having one:

1.  Valuable experience.

As much as it boosts our ego to think that we are smart and we can “handle everything” and “figure it all out”, sooner or later we might face a problem bigger than we can handle. You would never think of using a trial and error method to neutralize a bomb. Neither would you try to fly a plane for the first time without an instructor. It might not sound very optimistic, but life is infinitely more complicated than plane flying or neutralizing a bomb. There are some situations when too much is at stake and guesswork is simply not an option. In this case a mentor could be the only person, who is knowledgeable and experienced enough to help you make the right decision and prepare you for the serious exam called everyday life.

2. Self-improvement.

It is not always easy to live according to our conscience. The line that separates “right” from “wrong” and “good” from “bad” is often blurred and it can be tempting to make a convenient choice instead of the right one (especially if our heart is telling us one thing and our mind another). A mentor is a person who with one simple question is able to clear your doubts and gently, but firmly push you in the right direction.

3. Encouragement.

We all have those days when everything seems to go wrong. We feel demotivated, tired, frustrated and alone. Good-intended remarks like “Cheer up!” or “It is going to be ok” accompanied with an affectionate pat on the shoulder may have the opposite effect, especially if there are coming from a person who has never been in our situation and has no idea what we are going through. A mentor, on the other hand, might not tell you that everything is going to be just wonderful, but somehow they still manage to reassure you and give you the necessary encouragement to keep on going forward.

4. Honesty.

Wise men of ancient times believed that a people can be qualified to give a good advice if they meet three conditions:
a. They should not be emotionally attached to you, because otherwise they will not be unbiased. Their emotions will interfere with their judgment.
b. They should not ask to be paid for their advice or depend on your income, otherwise they will be conditioned to tell you what you like to hear.
c. And finally, they should practice what they preach.
There are plenty of friends, coworkers, and neighbors who will readily give you advice, but only a few can overcome the impulse to tell you what they believe you WANT to hear and have enough wisdom and inner strength to tell you what you NEED to hear. A mentor is a rare person who can do this.

5. Better chances of success.

Basically there are two ways to gain wisdom in life – learn from your own mistakes or learn from the mistakes of other people. The first way is more painful and more time consuming. The second one requires a mentor who will share their experience with you and help you to avoid mistakes that you would otherwise make. There is no doubt that any failure holds a valuable lesson that in the future will help you to improve your performance. However, why fail more than it is necessary? If you want to achieve success faster and with less effort, finding a mentor might be your best option.

6. Greater motivation.

Most of us have a pretty clear idea about what we should do to improve our health and quality of life: exercise regularly, eat less fried and greasy foods, be more patient with our children, go to bed at a reasonable hour, yada yada yada… But for some unknown reason we do not do any of these things. Why? Because there is a huge difference between knowing something and really understanding it. We might know something for years, but one day out of nowhere it just makes sense. If you have ever had those “Aaaah…Now I get it!” moments, then you know exactly what I am talking about. A good mentor has the rare ability to explain to you what you need to do and why, in a way that makes sense. That is why an encounter with a mentor often becomes a turning point in many people’s life.

7. Less room for excuses.

Our ability to quickly come up with excuses and half-truths is basically a built-in self-defense mechanism that serves to protect our sense of self and ultimately our ego. Think about it… Excuses allow us to procrastinate, give up on our dreams, blame our failures on someone or something else, or avoid helping another person when we do not feel like it (and we can do it all without having to deal with such unpleasant feelings as guilt, fear and embarrassment). The only real problem with this excuse mechanism is that it holds us back and makes it impossible to succeed at anything. A real mentor will easily be able to see through your carefully fabricated stories and will not let you get away with them. Why? Because his main purpose is not to please your ego, but to bring out the best in you.

“A mentor is someone who allows you to see the hope inside yourself.” - Oprah Winfrey

The article above was written for Self Help Daily by Arina.  Please visit her Self Improvement blog.

Great stuff, Arina – thank you!

Follow me on Twitter! http://twitter.com/JoiTaniaSigers

7 Sound Reasons to Have a Mentor in Your Life

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The Looking Glass by King Vidor appears in the a wonderful collection of articles from the 1940s and ’50s called Words to Live By.  It’s one of the best and sums up what I have found to be one of the greatest truths in all of the world:  We are the artists of our own life.  The majority of the strokes come from our own hand… for better or worse!

The Looking Glass

by King Vidor, Producer and Director

“The world is a looking glass and gives back to every man the reflection of his own face.” – William Makepeace Thackeray

I had to live a long time before I found the courage to admit to myself that we – all of us – make our own world.

The realization came to me in a very simple way.  Though I am a Californian, I make frequent trips to New York, and I had decided that all New York cab drivers were impatient, bad-tempered or hated their jobs.  And hotel employees and railroad personnel were the same.  I found them all difficult to get along with.

Then one day in New York, I came upon the words from Thackeray quoted above.  The very same day when a cabbie and I were snarling at one another, this thought occurred to me:  “Could this whole situation be the result of my own thinking and outlook?“

I began to live Thackeray’s idea and soon it became a part of me.  The result:  On my next trip East, I encountered not one unpleasant taxi driver, elevator operator, or employee!  Had New York changed or had I?  The answer was clear.

To abandon excuses for one’s own shortcoming is like journeying to a distant land where everything is new and strange.  Here you can’t continue to blame someone or something else for failures or difficulties; you have to assume the responsibility for them yourself.  Of course, outside pressures do influence our lives, but they don’t control them. To assume they do is sheer evasion – it’s so easy to say, “It’s not my fault!“

Since that day in New York I’ve come to believe that this idea is the basis of all human relationships.  It doesn’t matter whether it is your neighbors,  your mother-in-law or the people of a foreign nation.  The quickest way to correct the other fellow’s attitude is to correct your own.

Try it.  It works.  And it adds immeasurable to the fun of meeting people and being alive.  -   by King Vidor

Several things about this wonderful article stand out to me.

1. I love how King Vidor words it, “I began to live Thackeray’s idea..”  He doesn’t say “I read Thackeray’s words…” or even “I thought about Thackeray’s words….”  He says I began to LIVE Thackeray’s idea.  There’s the difference, right there!  If we merely READ inspirational, educational, or motivational teachings (whether they’re from the Bible, a favorite Self Help author, or wonderful quotes from outstanding men and women) – we aren’t changing and we aren’t growing.  We’re reading!  Big whoop, most people over the age of 6 can do the same.  However, most people won’t change and that’s where we can really gain ground and make a difference in our lives and world.
2. I love that he points out that  outside influences and occurrences DO influence our lives but they don’t have to control them.  We are at the controls – always have been, always will be.
3. I love that King Vidor didn’t have too much foolish pride to admit that he was headed off in the wrong direction before someone else (Thackeray) showed him a better way.  Too many people are so afraid of looking less that perfect – whether they’re politicians, authors, online marketers, salespeople, authors…. the list goes on.  It takes character to admit that you’ve made a mistake or came up short in some area.  It takes guts to share it with others.  Others can benefit from our mistakes, not allowing them the benefit to do so is thisclose to selfish.
4. He’s as right as rain!  Your own attitude and disposition affect how you see the world and others.  If you are genuinely happy and positive, your outlook will be the same.  If you tend to think negative thoughts about 5 out of every 10 people that you see or meet, it’s way past time for a gut check.  The problem doesn’t lie with them.
5. “Try it.  It works.  And it adds immeasurable to the fun of meeting people and being alive.” Shouldn’t being alive be MORE about fun and less about finding fault? Dang right it should!  Thackeray’s quote appears again below.  Are you going to read it, write it down, or live it out?

“The world is a looking glass and gives back to every man the reflection of his own face.” – William Makepeace Thackeray

Follow me on Twitter! http://twitter.com/JoiTaniaSigers

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Men are only great as they are kind. – Elbert Hubbard

I’m sure Elbert Hubbard wouldn’t mind if I took liberties and said, “Men, women, and super cool young ladies are only great as they are kind.”

I have a new personal heroine and her name is Mallory Holtman. I think we can all learn a thing or two from her. I love the quote about stepping up and doing the right thing at the right time.

May we all keep those words and the image of these beautiful young ladies in our mind forever and ever, amen.

Follow me on Twitter! http://twitter.com/JoiTaniaSigers

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I’ve noticed a very disturbing, yet escalating trend: People seem to be more disagreeable than ever before.  It seems to me that they’re lashing out with less provocation, disagreeing more readily, and all but refusing to see the other person’s point of view.   I don’t know how people who work with the public on a daily basis stand it.  If it keeps going like this, Wal-Mart greeters will need to arm themselves with mace.

Okay, I’m exaggerating but you get the point.

Frankly, I think part of the blame lies in the the things we watch on television, specifically certain reality shows. The ones that treat fighting, yelling, name-calling, and being obnoxious as something desirable and even entertaining. Is this really what most people are drawn to these days? The Reality shows on MTV are the worst.

My husband and I went to Best Buy a few nights ago and as we were leaving, some kids were standing near the door.  A few young girls were yelling and cussing – really trying to be toughies, yet looking and sounding ridiculous.  The loud f-bombs, the overly dramatic anger, the attempts to seem out of control..  it was obvious that they regularly bowed at the alter of reality television.  I’d rather have my toenails yanked out one by one than to see the average young lady begin to look and sound like these girls.  Instead of looking bright, the future would look (and sound) dim, dark, and dank.

More adults need to pay attention to what their kids are watching – and think twice about what they’re watching, themselves.  I really am sorry if that sounds…. no, I’m not.  I’m not sorry how it sounds – it’s the truth.

Don’t get me wrong, a few of my favorite shows fall under the heading of Reality TV.  I just dare you to get between me and The Biggest Loser or Survivor!  These shows, however, aren’t the ones causing the problems.  The ones that are beginning to spew nastiness out into our culture are the ones that serve absolutely no purpose at all – other than polluting their viewers, especially the ones who are a little weaker emotionally and/or mentally.  They’re the shows that highlight crass behavior, yelling, crudeness, and vulgarity.  They’re the ones that celebrate depravity and tastelessness.

I think everyone needs a refresher course in class, decency, and what it means to have character rather than be a character.

The other day, I was reading a thread of comments under a blog post.  The post was about one of these ridiculous reality shows, one of the newer ones – Heaven help us.  I’ve never seen an episode, nor would I watch one for money – but I have seen  previews.  The most recent preview showed females fighting, screaming, and then being carted off to jail as men stood around laughing.

Wow, so entertaining.  So enriching, educational, and uplifting.

One of the comments said something to the effect, “Remember when America had class?” I have no idea whether or not this was an American who made the comment or not.  Either way, as a proud American, I found the comment to be very depressing.   I’d like to go on record as saying that, as a whole, we do have class.  Most of us still shun this sort of ignorance and we cringe when people act like barbarians in public or private.

Our biggest fault, I suppose, may be the fact that we’ve remained too quiet and too laid back for too long.   I’d l0ve to see a big, beautiful, long overdue movement rise from the heartland of America.  A movement that said we’re tired of what television is doing to our country and its young people.  A movement that said, America has as much class now as it ever did!

Remember, just because you can watch morons on television acting like morons on television and realize that they are abnormal doesn’t mean that a young person is capable of the same separation. Even the most intelligent and mature young person will come away from these types of shows worse than they were beforehand.  Sit down with the young people in your life and watch what they watch with them – if you can stand it.  Ask yourself if there’s anything remotely in this show that will make them a better, stronger, more intelligent individual.  Does the show promote class, character, or tastefulness in any way?

If you think I’m over-reacting, you haven’t seen what’s on television right now.  Sadly, odds are that the young people in your life probably have.  Don’t feel left out, though, given enough time, you’ll  see exactly what they saw.  Through them.  And it won’t be pretty.

Follow me on Twitter! http://twitter.com/JoiTaniaSigers

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First of all, I haven’t drowned in a river of coffee – - – though, what a way to go.  I haven’t been on Self Help Daily in quite a few days simply because I’ve been a busy bee, buzzing around everywhere else.  I had a few blogs that were demanding a great deal of work.  Plus, well I’ll just be honest, I got a lot of cool kitchen appliances, pans, gadgets, and gizmos and I’ve been having the time of my life cooking and baking.

It reminded me of Christmas when I was a little girl, I’d get so many Barbies (along with Barbie airplanes, cars, and houses) that I wouldn’t know where to start – I’d just plop down in the middle and lose myself for hours.  Seriously, sometimes I’d forget to eat.

A few (he he he) years later, I took the same approach – perched myself in the midst of fajita makers, iron skillets, a huge new griddle, gadgets, bowls, new dishes, etc and lost myself for hours.  And hours. And hours.  Somehow I don’t forget to eat these days though…

During the holidays, I noticed a number of things that I’m particularly grateful for with my family; traits that each member has that I love even more than kitchen gadgets.  I may be biased because these are the people who hung the moon and stars, but I think there are certain things we can all learn from each, so here goes – My I’M GRATEFUL FOR list that has a few lessons hidden in its midst:

• I’m grateful for a husband that gets along beautifully with our daughter’s boyfriends.  He doesn’t look down on the young men for enjoying video games – he just tries to beat them!  I’m also grateful that he not only keeps my vehicle going and checked over, our girls’ cars going and checked over… he even looks out for their boyfriend’s cars.  I think that’s too cool for school.  It makes the family dynamic so much sweeter and funner when everyone looks out for one another.  The fact that all of the kids love spending time with us and around us will make my life a lot happier for years and years to come.  Family is the most important thing in the world to me and when mine’s around, the sun shines brighter, the coffee’s warmer, chocolate tastes even better, and the birds sing a sweeter song.
• I’m grateful for my oldest daughter (Emily) who genuinely loves spending time with her mom.  We go shopping, we eat out, we look at clothes, we talk for hours in the kitchen, we go to the library, and we most definitely do the whole Starbucks thing.  She’s an absolute joy to spend time with and I’m grateful that she considers “mom” cool enough to hang out with.  She’s a ridiculously bright girl who keeps me on my toes.
• I’m grateful for my youngest daughter (Stephany) who is the most spirited and, beautifully strong willed person I’ve ever met (right up there with my husband/her father).  She will take nothing off of anyone, and has a way of putting them in their place that simply amuses me.  With this girl, I know someone may offend her once, but they won’t do it twice.  I love her spirit and I love her strength.  She is, at once, incredibly sweet-natured and very petite but also strong-minded and strong-willed.  Like her father, she doesn’t suffer fools well and that keeps them at arm’s length…. and out of harm’s way.
• I’m grateful for my middle daughter (Brittany) who amazes me with her grit and determination.  If the girl wants something, she makes it happen – whether it’s a car, her education, a job… she’s a fighter in every sense of the word and sometimes it’s just fun to sit back and watch. If she came home today and said, “I want to go to Hawaii for two weeks next summer,” I’d buy her a cool new pair of sandals and tell her to bring me back a coffee mug.  I’d also sit back and enjoy watching her make it happen.
• I’m grateful for my daughter’s boyfriends. Dill (Emily’s) never fails to make me laugh.  His personality is larger than life and to know him is to adore him. When this kid opens his mouth, you tend to stop what you’re doing because you know it’s going to be priceless.  I don’t know where he comes up with the stuff he comes up with, but the world’s a funner place because he does.  When he and my husband are watching a game together or playing Madden football, the rest of us just listen – they’re a couple of characters and laughter always follows them.  Rusty (Stephany’s) quite honestly lights up the room when he comes through. He’s full of life, fun, and (like me) never met an animal he didn’t love and want to name.  Left to our own devices, we’d surround ourselves with more animals than Noah ever saw.  Rusty and Steph are hilarious with gifts.  They (without fail) always give me gifts early.. whether it’s for Christmas, my birthday, Mother’s Day or just a day they wanted to buy me something… they’ll come through with Cheshire grins and I know I’m about to get a goody!  The concept of making others happy makes them happy.  Come on, how cool’s that?    Chris (Brittany’s) is one of the nicest people I’ve ever met.  You hear that saying thrown around a lot, but this kid lives up to each word. He keeps me armed with Starbuck’s cards, but he’s such a sweetheart I’d think the world of him even if he didn’t!  I’ve never heard him raise his voice to anyone and can’t even begin to imagine him saying anything bad to or about anyone or anything.   My mom and dad and my in-laws would have adored each of these boys and they would have been popping-at-the-seams proud of their granddaughters.
• I’m grateful for my cats – each one makes me melt when they look at me!

I’m not boasting or bragging with these words, just stating facts.  The people and cats around me rock.  These are just a few of their wonderful traits that I’ve been thinking about lately – they have countless more.  They’re just beautiful people, inside and out.

The thing is, I’m willing to bet the people around you rock too.  If you haven’t thought about it in a long time, think about it now.  What traits do they have that mean the world to you?  Do they make you smile?  Do they make you laugh so hard you have to double over?  Do they seem to know just the right thing to say at just the right time?  Spend more time with positive thoughts about your loved ones and refuse to let the negative ones hang around.  Really, nothing good comes from them.  In fact, I”ll tell you what DOES come from negative thoughts:  Negative words and negative actions.

If you keep thinking negative thoughts about the people in your life, how long do you think it’ll be before you say something negative to them or about them.  Something that’ll only lead to tension, unhappiness, hurt feelings, and misery for everyone.

Negative begets negative.  Positive begets positive.  Mark it down.

If you have people in your life who smile when you come into the room, you have all the riches you will ever need.  It’s my hope that you will truly appreciate them, treasure  them, look out for them, love them, and smile at them so often they think you’re up to something.

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Loving Your Family and Showing It!

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The following is a wonderful article from a book from 1947.  The book’s title, Words to Live By, sums up this author’s thoughts perfectly.  They are, indeed, words to live by.   The author, Will Durant, wrote these ten rules for his own grandchildren – but, as you’ll see, many of the rules apply to people of all ages.

Send a list to your own children and/or grandchildren.  For that matter, send it to everyone you know.  Personally, I think the world would be a much better place if every single one of us read through… then lived out… the following grandfatherly advice.

FOR VERY YOUNG PHILOSOPHERS by Will Durant

EDITOR’s NOTE:  Mr. Durant, as everyone knows, is the distinguished author of an impressive list of important books, including the multivolumed The Story of Civilization.  But when we asked him to contribute some thoughts to the “Words to Live By” page, he stepped out of his role as philosopher and historian into that of grandfather.  The advice he gives here was written for his own three grandchildren.

1. Begin the day with cleanliness.  Keep your bathroom immaculate.
2. Before leaving your room in the morning put all discarded clothing into a dresser or a closet.
3. Dress yourself neatly; other people can judge us only by what they see, until they know us well; and their judgments will affect our progress and our happiness.
4. Enter into the life of the family and the community with good cheer; make little of your troubles, much of your good fortune.
5. Do not speak while another is speaking.  Discuss, do not dispute.  Absorb and acknowledge whatever truth you can find in opinions different from your own.
6. Be courteous and considerate to all, especially to those who oppose you.
7. Reduce to a minimum your reading, hearing, and watching of material intended for immature minds.  The mind is formed by what it takes in.  Don’t be a wastebasket.
8. Do some studying every day; grow old while learning.
9. Combine external modesty with internal pride.  Your modesty will make it easier for those around you to bear with you; your internal pride will stir you to shun meanness and sloth.
10. You will find the Golden Rule the simplest and surest secret of happiness.

**********************

Reduce to a minimum your reading, hearing, and watching of material intended for immature minds.  The mind is formed by what it takes in.  Don’t be a wastebasket. Leave it to a grandfather to beautifully sum up what the rest of us have been trying to convey for two forevers.  I love this!

Follow me on Twitter! http://twitter.com/JoiTaniaSigers

Thursday Throwback: A Grandfather’s Top Ten List That’s Pure Gold

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While Ralph Waldo Emerson’s daughter was away at school, she wrote a letter to her father telling him how devastated she was about a past mistake.  Apparently this mistake haunted her and she was having difficulty putting distance between herself and her mistake.

Her father, with the wisdom we’ve all come to expect from him, wrote the following reply to his daughter:

Finish every day and be done with it.  You have done what you could.  Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; but get rid of them and forget them as soon as you can.  Tomorrow is a new day, and you should never encumber its potentialities and invitations with the dread of the past.  You should not waste a moment of today on the rottenness of yesterday.

“Finish every day and be done with it…” great advice!

I’ve always taught my daughters to take a certain, systematic approach to mistakes.

1. Own it. If you made a mistake, admit it. Never, ever try to pin the blame on someone else or even try to share it with another.  If you did something that was less than your best – admit it, how else will people know you’re capable of better?!
2. Apologize When Necessary. Oy. Pulling teeth, this one.  Amongst my daughters, apologies are are as rare as unicorns.  Their approach (like most siblings) is to simply stew a while, then return to normal.  As their mother, I’d much rather see sincere apologies – but as any parent knows, the return to normal is goal number one!
3. Learn From the Mistake. Sit your mistake down at the table and interrogate him.  Find out why he came onto the scene, where the crack was that allowed him to creep through, and what you can  do to keep from seeing his miserable face again.  If you had an angry outburst, you may determine that you aren’t getting enough sleep or that you’re carrying stress from work home with you.
4. Let Go. Once you’ve admitted your mistake, apologized, when necessary, and have learned at least one lesson… let go!

Letting go is silver advice for your own mistakes – but it’s golden advice for others’ mistakes.   If someone has made a mistake – let it go as well. Even if they owed you an apology and you didn’t get it – you have something else:  You have a chance to be the bigger, cooler, kinder, more mature person.  And do you really think they won’t notice?

Something I’ve always told my daughters is this:  When a mistake is made, you’ve lived through it once – and that’s plenty.  If you keep dwelling on it and reliving it, you’re living through it again and again and again and that’s downright insane.

Whether the mistake was your own, someone elses’ or a combined effort… Let go and live on.

Follow me on Twitter! http://twitter.com/JoiTaniaSigers

Finish Every Day and Be Done With It

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So,here you are -  on a website surrounded by polar bears, arctic seals, cats, wolves, dogs, and so forth – so you fully realize that you’re dealing with an animal lover extraordinaire here. Animals aren’t just beautiful, adorable, cuddly, and loving – although they are all of those things. They’re also incredibly good for you, body and soul.

I’ve seen, firsthand, the beautiful things animals can bring into a person’s life. After my dad passed away, my mom was (of course) unspeakably lonely.  She had me and my family living near her, of course, but her house and life had suddenly become unbearably quiet.  Out of the blue, one morning, an adorable little dog who resembled a white Benji (remember him?) appeared on her porch. After placing an ad in the paper and on the radio, she realized she had a new “baby.”  He had shown up on a Wednesday, so that became his name.

He kept my mom company and provided her with more entertainment than a roomful of Jim Careys.  His extremely playful personality and a sweet face that always seemed to be smiling helped light up my mom’s world in its darkest hours.

Caring for him and pampering him like crazy helped her healing process and made the impossible possible.

I was reminded of  precious Wednesday a few days ago when I read the story below.  I’m sure it’ll touch your heart just as it did mine.

“Lucky”

Mary and her husband Jim had a dog named ‘Lucky.’ Lucky was a real character. Whenever Mary and Jim had company come for a weekend visit they would warn their friends to not leave their luggage open because Lucky would help himself to whatever struck his fancy. Inevitably, someone would forget and something would come up missing.

Mary or Jim would go to Lucky’s toy box in the basement and there the treasure would be, amid all of Lucky’s other favorite toys, Lucky always stashed his finds in his toy box and he was very particular that his toys stay in the box.

It happened that Mary found out she had breast cancer. Something told her she was going to die of this disease…in fact, she was just sure it was fatal.

She scheduled the double mastectomy, fear riding her shoulders. The night before she was to go to the hospital she cuddled with Lucky. A thought struck her…what would happen to Lucky? Although the three-year-old dog liked Jim, he was Mary’s dog through and through. If I die, Lucky will be abandoned, Mary thought. He won’t understand that I didn’t want to leave him! The thought made her sadder than thinking of her own death.

The double mastectomy was harder on Mary than her doctors had anticipated and Mary was hospitalized for over two weeks. Jim took Lucky for his evening walk faithfully, but the little dog just drooped, whining and miserable.

Finally the day came for Mary to leave the hospital. When she arrived home, Mary was so exhausted she couldn’t even make it up the steps to her bedroom. Jim made his wife comfortable on the couch and left her to nap..

Lucky stood watching Mary but he didn’t come to her when she called. It made Mary sad but sleep soon overcame her and she dozed.

When Mary woke for a second she couldn’t understand what was wrong. She couldn’t move her head and her body felt heavy and hot. But panic soon gave way to laughter when Mary realized the problem. She was covered, literally blanketed, with every treasure Lucky owned! While she had slept, the sorrowing dog had made trip after trip to the basement bringing his beloved mistress all his favorite things in life.
He had covered her with his love.
Mary forgot about dying. Instead she and Lucky began living again, walking further and further together every day. It’s been 12 years now and Mary is still cancer-free. Lucky still steals treasures and stashes them in his toy box but Mary remains his greatest treasure.

Follow me on Twitter! http://twitter.com/JoiTaniaSigers

The Wonders of Animals in Our Lives

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