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How to Make Money Writing Online

by joi on July 27, 2010

Right out of the box, I want to apologize for the cheesy title.  I mulled over a few others in my mind then thought, oh just cut to the chase.

The cheesy chase, as it were.

Most people are looking for ways to make more money these days.  I’m not sure why, I mean the economy did an about face, right? </ sarcasm> I can’t even begin to advise anyone on jobs outside of the home (never had one… well, I babysat once when I was 16, does that count?).

However, I am more than a little familiar with working online. I’ve been at it for many enjoyable years.

I’ve written other articles on Self Help Daily about building blogs, publishing blogs, and making money with blogs:

50 Tips, Plus 4, For Tripping the Blog Fantastic

Bloggers and Would-Be Bloggers, For Your Eyes Only

Being Sly as a Firefox When Blogging

Frequency of Blog Posts

Words of Motivation from a Fellow Blogger

A Great Must Read for Bloggers

The ABC’s of Blogging

There are others, of course – all of which can be found under the category BLOGGING.

I have done very well with web publishing and, if you have the drive and the time, it’s something you should consider.  If you have any questions, I’m just an e-mail away.

This article, however, isn’t about making money with blogging. This article is for those who either don’t have the inclination to blog or who are bloggers who wish to make even more money.  After all, life’s a beautiful thing – but it isn’t getting any cheaper to enjoy it. Below are a few websites you may want to look into.  There are varying requirements and the pay, most certainly, varies.

About.com One of the most popular and informative websites online accepts About.com Guides and Contributing Writers.  Guides are responsible for creating a “web” of resources within a particular niche (subject).  The Guide must be able to write articles that are informative to the novice as well as articles that will challenge and inform the expert.  About.com has a list of subjects which they are currently seeking Guides for.

About.com also has a list of subjects in which they’re seeking qualified writers.

With the reputation of this website (combined with the fact that they’re rumored to pay the most), this would be an excellent place to start you journey if you’re looking to make money writing online.

Associated Content – Associated Content is another great way to make money writing online.  Payments are made through Paypal and, like About.com, the reputation is golden.

As a bonus, I personally think having Associated Content contributor on one’s resume would look pretty impressive.  The same can be said of being an About.com Guide or Contributing writer.  If you were to one day branch out into writing for magazines or books, being able to back up your expertise with these reputable websites could really make a difference.

From Associated Content:

Upfront Payments:  Certain types of content can be submitted for Upfront Payment, meaning we’ll review your content, and send you an offer before we publish it. Current offers range from $2-$15. Be sure to read our Upfront Payment guidelines before choosing this option.

Assignments:  Need an idea? Just look at our Assignment Desk – the Web’s first – and claim one! Many assignments offer Upfront Payment. Claim one of these opportunities and we’ll send you the advertised payment amount if your content meets the requirements. Once you’re established on Associated Content, you can apply to our Featured Contributor program. Featured Contributors have access to top-dollar assignments for AssociatedContent.com and partner sites (these assignments typically pay between $10 and $100 upfront).

Performance Payments: Every piece of content you publish on AssociatedContent.com generates unlimited revenue for you based on the amount of traffic it receives (in addition to any Upfront Payment).

You earn money for every one thousand page views your content generates (PPM™ rate). The baseline PPM™ rate is currently $1.50 – meaning if you generate 30,000 page views, you’re paid $45.00 in Performance Payments. As your library of content grows and your total page views accumulate, your Clout level increases. When you reach Clout 7 and beyond, your PPM™ rate will gradually increase up to a maximum of $2.00 per thousand page views. Click here to read more about the Clout system.

Our top Contributors earn hundreds (in some cases, thousands!) of dollars per month in Performance Payments – and so can you. Performance Payments are sent monthly and are based on an aggregate of the page views on all your content – the more you publish, the more you can earn!

E-How.com – Finally, E-How.com is a fun way to make money online.  This is actually the only one of the three suggestions here that I write for.  I plan to look into the others, however, simply because I love to write.  As someone who writes, I’ve found that the best way to hone your writing and keep your skills sharp is to use them as often as possible.

When I first signed up with E-How, I found that (instantly) doing extra writing made words flow more freely.  When anyone asks me how I come up with so much to write about and how I keep the well from running dry – my answer’s always the same:  I never stop!

E-how articles show up incredibly well in Google, and since your payment is based upon the number of eyes that read your article – this is a very good thing for you.

  1. Look to the past, as in the Public Domain. Books that were written prior to 1930 often carry a wealth of information.  I use them often in my research – after all, a lot of advice simply doesn’t change.  I also read them for fun.  I recently began reading a book filled with tips and advice from teachers (Copyright 1918) and principals.  The book reads beautifully and is like a journey into history each time I open the book.  The point is, I grabbed a notebook and pen a few nights ago, while reading this amazing book, and counted up information that could potentially be converted into 100 articles.  Truth be told, I flat-out quit at 100 – it was undoubtedly a lot more.  The same could be said for countless other books in the public domain.
  2. Are you a fan of libraries? I (along with daughters #1 and #3 aka Emily and Stephany) could spend days on end in a library – assuming coffee is served. Often.  You could very well take a great notebook and a couple of pens to your local library and research a given subject.  Accumulate as much great information as possible and turn it into articles.
  3. You can also write informative how-to articles and tutorials about things you’re good at or things you know how to do. I’m an avid cook, so I’ve written several articles centered around cooking and recipes. For someone who’s kitchen is their favorite playground, turning out articles like this takes very, very, very little time.

When it comes to making money writing online, it’s like a lot of other things in life – you can make as little or as much as you’d like.  Nothing can stop you except your own goals and your own determination.

These are, of course, just three of the many places available to make money writing online.  There are many others.  I’m in the process of checking into the others for a follow-up post, but I wanted to go ahead and run with these three.

Cheesy title and all.

Writers, here’s something really fun: I Write Like is a website that will analyze your writing and tell you which author you “write like.” They’ll compare your writing style to some of the greatest authors in the world and let you know who’s style yours’ most resembles.

I entered a few paragraphs from a recent blog post and I was told that my writing most resembles Gertrude Stein.  I wasn’t familiar with the author, so I embarked on a little research.  The first quote attributed to Gertrude Stein told me that I Write Like is onto something: “I do want to get rich, but I never want to do what there is to do to get rich.”

She had another quote that sounded pretty much like me too: “To write is to write is to write is to write is to write is to write is to write”.

Liking Yourself and Self-Esteem: The Heart of it All

by joi on July 6, 2010

“The more you LIKE yourself, the less you ARE LIKE anyone else, which makes you unique.” - Walt Disney

I spend a lot of time thinking.  Now I’m not saying that’s always such a good thing… nor am I always fully equipped for the sport.  However, it is what it is and I am a thinker.  I’ve been thinking a great deal about self-esteem lately.  Self-Esteem – it even sounds high brow, doesn’t it? But it isn’t – it’s simply the state of liking yourself and being comfortable with the good looking person you see in the mirror.

Yesterday, my husband (on Twitter) bemoaned the appearance of some recent WordPress themes.  Seems they simply aren’t what he has in mind for his golf blog.  He’s one picky guy, but geez I could have told them that.  Whether it’s a Christmas present, a lawn mower, a trellis, a movie, or a theme – once he gets an image in his mind of what he wants or expects, nothing will “do” and nothing will be “good enough” until reality measures up to his mental picture.

He’s a perfectionist – with himself and the rest of the world.   Again, it is what it is – not all great, not all horrible.

Anyway….  he unleashed the hounds.  He made some designers (and even some who weren’t… go figure that one) turn into savages.  Spitting, cursing, eye-bulging, fist-clinching savages.  It was a little too much drama for me for a Monday, but my Cardinals weren’t playing  – so the entertainment was kind of welcomed.

What was even more welcomed were the three guys who stepped away from the crowd.  Two pointed Mr. Perfectionist in a direction where he might find something he had in mind and one (a super cool coder from St. Louis) good-naturedly told him that he was accepting this as a challenge… kind of a “class assignment.”

Apparently class had already been assigned to this man long ago.  I’d wager that this gentleman has a great deal of self-esteem as well.

The thinker in me, naturally, kicked in.  Like I said, baseball wasn’t on…..

In the quote at the top, Walt Disney points out how important it is to like yourself – how that doing so will make you unique.  Personally, I think there’s something else that’s remarkable about people who genuinely like themselves… they’re cooler people.  When you’re comfortable and at peace with the person you spend 24 hours a day with, it makes your disposition much cooler…. and much harder to rattle.  When people have self-esteem, they’re simply too cool to instantly heat up and too steady to shake.

I honestly think that a lot of the grouches in the world, those who always seem angry at someone or something, simply don’t like themselves very much – or, at the very least, something in particular about themselves.  They come across as angry at the world because they’re angry at themselves.  Their attitude sucks because, as far as they’re concerned, something about their life sucks.

How much better (and quieter) would it be if they pinpointed what they disliked about themselves – the thing they aren’t comfortable with – and took action.

“If I have lost confidence in myself, I have the universe against me.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson (More quotes by Ralph Waldo Emerson)

A lot of people who seem to have personality problems, in truth, simply have a personal problem.  Many times they expect too much out of themselves. They expect themselves to be totally without blemish, fault, or flaw.  They forget that there was only one human who this description fit… and he was killed for it!

I think this whole “self esteem” and “liking yourself” problem is behind many ills in our homes and relationships.  The person who gets overly angry about a criticism actually feels pretty weak or insecure about it. If not, why get so mad?  If someone told me that I didn’t grow absolutely beautiful flowers, I’d laugh at them.    If they told me my world-famous Almond White Cake from Scratch with Homemade Creamy White Icing wasn’t delicious, I’d realize they were born without taste buds.  I’d pity them – then I’d go back to eating my cake.

I also believe that the reason some people age better than others boils down to self esteem.   Look at Helen Mirren – she isn’t scared of looking her age or insecure about aging… the lady’s capitalizing on it.  And beautifully, at that.  She likes herself and is totally comfortable with who she is.  Contrast that to the actresses who are going under the knife more than peanut butter fudge (what is it with me and sweets today?).  There are some celebrities who are so uncomfortable with themselves that they’re plastic surgeon regulars before they’re even out of their twenties.

When they’re Helen Mirren’s age, they won’t be starring on the big screen, they’ll be starring on websites poking fun at them.  And they’ll be just as miserable as they are now.

If there is anything – anything at all – you don’t like about yourself or anything you feel insecure about, write it down.  Consider this the most important TO DO list of your life, because it is.  It can be something as major as “I don’t like my temper” or as superficial as “I hate my hips!”  Maybe you feel insecure about being able to talk in public (who doesn’t?) or maybe you’re insecure about your vocabulary.

The point is, if you sit down with yourself for about 10 minutes, you can pinpoint the area(s) you truly feel insecure about.

“The most difficult secret for a man to keep is the opinion he has of himself.” – Marcel Pagnol

When you have your TO DO list, I want you to turn it into a WILL DO list.  Just like that!  You know the old quote, “When all’s said and done, more’s said than done.“?  Don’t ever let that be you – ever.  If your TO DO list just sits there, it’s of little use to anyone.

Your TO DO list needs to evolve – from a TO DO list….

……..to a WILL DO list…..

and, finally…..

……..to a DONE list.

To do, will do, done.  To go from one to the next takes will power and determination.  But what’s the alternative?  Not evolving, not getting anything done, failure.  Thanks be to God that caterpillars don’t “wimp out” – otherwise there’d be no butterflies in the world.

“You may find the worst enemy or best friend in yourself.” – English Proverb

Granted, it all sounds easier than it is.  If someone isn’t happy with their temper, weight, public speaking, vocabulary, financial situation, etc – it takes more than just WISHING things were different.  The individual has to MAKE them change, no one’s going to do it for them.  In the end, though, a lot of it is just good old fashioned common sense.

Let’s take a scenario.  “Jane Doe” (it appears I can’t get my mind off sweets long enough to be very original) has started a new job and feels woefully insecure about her ability to speak in public.

Her TO DO list may read something like:

  • Gain confidence in public speaking
  • Find out what others know that I don’t know!
  • Improve my vocabulary

Jane’s WILL DO list may look something like:

  • Take a course in public speaking at the local community college
  • Read all the books I can get my hands on that deal with public speaking
  • Attend a few Public Speaking seminars or workshops
  • Take online grammar and/or literature courses
  • Write down every new word I come across, along with the definition
  • Read more
  • Go to the library and walk out with a selection of vocabulary and public speaking books

The DONE list?

  • I’ve gained so much knowledge about public speaking and feel so confident about my vocabulary that I’m looking for opportunities to speak publicly rather than running from them.

See Jane win.

We all have areas we can improve in – big areas, small areas, “deep” areas, “shallow” areas.  Like my quest for Jillian Michael’s abs (sick, just sick) or Michelle Obama’s arms.  Seriously, women?  Must you set the bar so high and must those definitions be so pronounced? Just picturing these ladies right now pretty much defines my TO DO list.  My WILL DO list involves yoga and weights (per chance if I could move beyond 10 pound weights, I’d have more luck).  My DONE list?  We’ll see… but my wardrobe has sleeves until then.

Could there be a correlation between a sweet tooth and… nah.  It’s the weights.

“While one person hesitates because he feels inferior, the other is busy making mistakes and becoming superior.” – Henry C. Link

See More quotes about self-esteem.

Focus: Possibly the Most Vital Word in the Self Help World

by joi on June 11, 2010

Focus!Our thoughts create our reality, where we put our focus is the direction we tend to go. – Peter McWilliams

What you do is the only thing that really matters – not what you say.  I don’t give jack about what you say.  Show me what you do.

The quote above is a nicer version of an argument I served up to someone tonight.  I was tough.  Firm.  Assertive. I didn’t back down.  I didn’t even give him an opportunity to respond.

Granted, he was on television and I was at home.  On my couch. Beside my cat.  In polka dot pajamas (me, not my cat).  But still…

The poor man in question is a baseball player.  He’s actually one of my favorite athletes of all time.

Loves him.

But…. well… if you see the world’s biggest rut somewhere on the side of the road, look smack in the middle of it.  You’ll see my boy, bat in hand.

Don’t be afraid – even if he swings at you, he’ll miss you.

It is wise to direct your anger towards problems, not people; to focus your energies on answers — not excuses. – William Arthur Ward

In all fairness, we’re all guilty of talking a bigger game, at times, than we’re currently playing.  We all get in ruts.  Fortunately, most of us don’t have to experience these ruts in front of the whole world,  subjecting ourselves to pajama clad cat lovers drinking iced green tea and muttering under her breath.

Personally, I think most of our “ruts” are the result of distractions or a lack of focus.   Getting distracted is easy.  Losing focus is easy.  What’s hard is realizing what the heck is going on and doing something about it.

It’s far easier to throw on your cloak of denial.  I’m just as great as ever.  The one with the problem might just be you.  Ever thought of that? No? I didn’t think so.

“The ability to apply your mind steadily and exclusively to one subject at a time is a mark of superior power and essential to really great achievement.” - Grenville Kleiser

Overcoming distractions, as well as distracting thoughts, takes practice.  To be sure, it takes a bit of concentrated effort.

When my girls were just learning to crawl, they’d sometimes head off to parts of the room that I (the world’s biggest mother hen and epitome of an over-protective mommy) didn’t want them to be in.  Perhaps they were close to the television set that might get a wild hair and fall on them… or maybe they were near a window where a giant pterodactyl (a holdout) could come crushing through…

Whatever the perceived danger, “mommy” didn’t want “baby girl” there.  So, I’d physically pick her (whichever her it happened to be at the time) up and physically move her to a safer place – i.e. my lap.

I’ve learned that this is the same approach we have to take with distractions – whether they’re physical distractions or distracting thoughts.  We have to take the upper hand, recognize that they are the enemy of our success, and remove them from our vicinity.

I’ll close with a passage from a book from 1917, “Inspiration and Ideals.” It was written by Grenville Kleiser, a favorite author.

Concentration (or focus) can be cultivated by regular and conscientious practice.  When you detect your mind wandering, instantly substitute the desired subject for the intrusive one.  Repeated efforts of this kind will rapidly remedy the fault.  Be on your guard against mind-wandering and idle daydreaming as enemies of culture and progress.  Be deeply interested in what you are doing, and ignore vagrant ideas.  Concentration will rapidly build your mental power.  It is vital to large mental growth and personal advancement.

I love this part best of all:  “Be deeply interested in what you are doing, and ignore vagrant ideas.”

Beautiful.  Now I have a baseball game to get back to and an athlete to apologize to.  He’s human.  Who knew?

For some outstanding quotes about focus, click the link.

Do it Anyway, Indeed!

by joi on May 31, 2010

I’m not at all sure who the original author is, but the words below are brilliant. I’ve always been a huge fan of the “Do it anyway” concept – when used properly, that is!

Sometimes we come up against seemingly impossible odds.  For example, when giving to a favorite cause, don’t you sometimes wonder, “What good will this $50 actually do?”  You’d be amazed!  Give anyway.

DO IT ANYWAY
People are unreasonable, illogical and self-centered.

Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.

Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.

Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.

Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.

Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest people with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest people with the smallest minds.

Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.

Fight for the underdog anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.

Build anyway.

People really need help, but may attack you if you help them.

Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you’ve got and you’ll get kicked in the teeth.

Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.

Have a safe and happy Memorial Day – and an especially big THANK YOU to all of the brave men and women who have ever served our beautiful country. You don’t get nearly enough credit, respect, or gratitude. I don’t think any of us could ever thank you enough for the sacrifices you make.

Be Happy! Grandma Moses, Bison, Flashy Ribbons, and a Heavy Love Seat

by joi on May 20, 2010

One of my dearest online friends recently told me that he was going through a particularly tough time and feeling incredibly sad. My heart breaks for anyone who feels this way – but never more so than when a person who’s face I know feels such crushing sadness.

We’ve all been there, haven’t we? Some who are reading these words right now may find themselves under a dark, heavy sadness.

Unfortunately there are no magic words. If there were, I’d bottle them and give them away. You can’t GOOGLE “How to be happy,” early in the morning, click on the first result and be on top of the world by noon.

However, there is hope. There’s always hope. For every one person who is, at this very moment, in the shadow of sadness, there is another stepping out of the shadow. For every one person who is on the verge of crying, there is another who is suddenly having trouble containing their laughter. One can’t remember how happiness feels and the other can’t completely remember how sadness feels.

I only hope that something within these words can help you find your way out of your own personal shadow.

The Heavy Love Seat

Not long ago, we got a new couch and love seat. They are incredibly heavy.  I remember when my husband and our daughter Stephany’s boyfriend (Rusty) moved them into the house.  Each looked like he’d just ran a marathon – while packing a bison on his back.  These are strong guys, mind you, but the furniture nearly did them in!

Last week, while watching an episode of the Golden Girls (an afternoon ritual for me and our cat, Alexa), I decided that the love seat needed to move back some.  I love to do yoga while watching the Girls, and my feet kept hitting the love seat. With great heaving, I pushed its ridiculously heavy girth backward.

I noticed that it had left indentions in the carpet.  How could it not, when it was the size of a bison? I’m nothing if not anal, so I tried to force the crushed carpet to rise to the occasion.  I coaxed, fluffed, and tried to make it look as good as it did pre-burden.

It was having none of it.

A few days went by, however, and the carpet seemed to lift its spirits.  The spot of the weighty burden can’t even be detected.  It’s as though the carpet told me, “I just needed a little time.”

It was like a huge bison standing on grass, then slowly moving away.  The “injured” grass beneath his heavy feet slowly heals and rises to blow in the wind once more.  For the grass that was once crushed beneath the beautiful bison’s weight to stay crumples would be perfectly ridiculous and would serve no purpose whatsoever.

In “My Life’s History,” Grandma Moses wrote, “Then Anna was born, so I had four babies to care for.  But we got along very nice till the children got the scarlet fever, that was a hard year but it passed on like all the rest.“

Given the fact that Grandma Moses lived to be 92, she knew a thing or two about the passing of time – good or bad.  As she looked back over her life, she was able to see, clearly, that a very bad time passed on like the rest.  She remained (for over 90 years!) alert, creative, happy, and full of life and, in my very humble opinion,  her attitude was one of the reasons.  Grandma Moses realized that… well… life is as beautiful as you want it to be.

Life may be full of people getting knocked down but it’s also full of people getting back up, dusting off their backsides, and telling their opponent (whether it be cancer, the economy, an individual, a personal struggle…), “I’m stronger than you gave me credit for.  You may have caught me off guard and knocked me down but it’ll take a whole lot more than YOU to keep me there!”

It’s human nature, after being knocked down, to just stay there.  I’m not sure if we stay down because we’re afraid to get back up (after all, that’s where we were last time we were knocked down – what if it happens again!?!), we’re too weak to stand, or it’s simply easier to stay down than to exert the effort to rise.  Whatever the reason, we all have a tendency to just lie there – creating spiritual and emotional scars the way my love seat created indentations in the carpet.

I moved – with no small effort – the love seat and allowed the indentations to rise. We can just as surely move – with no small effort – our heartaches and allow the scars to heal.

It’s all about making a choice.  Remember, we make our choices and, then, our choices make our lives. You have to choose to get back up, choose to look at the beauty around you and within you, choose to let go of negative emotions, and choose to get on with your life.  Bitterness, anger, resentment, and jealousy are the things that give sadness its weight.  When you release these negative emotions, you’ll find that you can move the burden off of you.

Say, out loud, I‘m releasing my anger (or bitterness, remorse, guilt, pain…).  Good riddance!

I know I’ve shared this story before on Self Help Daily and Out of Bounds, but it’s worth repeating because I know that if it’s an emotion I’ve felt before, others have as well.  The first Christmas after my mom died, I felt so completely sad and missed her so much that Christmas trees and decorations were the furthest things from my mind.  Me… the person who loves Christmas more than anyone in the world!

I had brought in the Christmas ornaments, the tree, the lights, the decorations, and so forth.  Stephany and I stacked them in a corner of the living room.

Then, I more or less ran to my bedroom and threw myself across the bed.  Tears came down hot and heavy as I recalled the years my mother and I had put up Christmas trees – talking a mile a minute about cookies, candy, presents, and so on.   I got my profound love for holidays from my mom.  She always did things up HUGE and I’m proudly carrying on the tradition!

While lying across the bed, I knew that my daughters and husband were in different parts of the house – possibly even wondering if it would be okay to even try to get in the Christmas spirit.  I’d managed to slip away and have my tear fest without them seeing – but they had to know what I was going through.

I reasoned with myself that I could lie there and feel completely miserable or I could get up, wipe my eyes, and get on with life.  I knew full-well what my mom would want me to do:  Get up and decorate that Christmas tree with the brightest lights, the flashiest ribbons, and the most magnificent ornaments at my disposal.

She’d want me, Michael, and her much, much, much beloved granddaughters to be happy and our home to be filled with joy and the Christmas spirit.

I made the decision to dry my eyes, put on a little makeup, throw on a smile, and get after that tree.  My husband smiled at me as I walked through the house, and Stephany sprung up to help make the Christmas tree magnificent.  We talked a mile a minute about cookies, candy, presents, and so on.

I made the right choice.

I did the right choice in another very emotional and trying situation as well.  Due to my husband’s career, my family and I lived on Pensacola Beach (in a beautiful beach house – right on the water) for a while. We lived on Santa Rosa Island with countless sea gulls and pelicans.  The dining room wall was nothing but windows looking out over the ocean and its beautiful gulls, pelicans, waves, dolphins, and so on.  Each morning and each evening, I’d watch with joy as dolphins played, basically, in my back yard.

Paradise?  You betcha.

Michael’s career then pulled a fast one on us and demanded that we leave Florida and move back home to Kentucky.  I love Kentucky, but it’s never easy to leave paradise.

On the day we were leaving the island, I drove our Caravan while Michael drove ahead of me in the U-Haul. While driving over the bridge – leaving the island – part of my mind questioned me, “Are you going to take a look back in the rear view mirror to see what you’re leaving one last time?”  I thought, “Heck no. I’m looking forward, toward my next great adventure!”

Right decision.  Where we live now (Kentucky) is greener and I can actually enjoy snow again! We also got the blessing of spending a lot more time with my mom in her last years.  Huge blessing!  It was just in a bit of a disguise, that’s all.

When things happen that hurt, you have to INSIST on healing and INSIST on moving forward.  Don’t stay where you are, weighed down with “bison-like” weight – cementing your emotional scars in deeper and deeper.  Please make the decision to get up and move on with your life.

We all only get one shot at life.  Any time spent feeling sad is time wasted.  The best revenge you can have on anyone or anything that has knocked you down is to get back up….. stronger, better, and happier than ever before.

Heck, that’ll knock them down.  Sweet.

Photo Credit: Bison Pictures

Going All Robin Hood with Time Management

by joi on May 12, 2010

Erroll Flynn in "The Adventures of Robin Hood" 1938

Erroll Flynn in “The Adventures of Robin Hood” 1938 Giclee Print
Buy at AllPosters.com

First of all, apologies for the lack of updates recently.  If you’ve followed Self Help Daily (or any of my blog/sites for that matter) for any length of time, you know that around holidays and the first of spring I spend far more time offline than online.  So many flowers, plants and herbs to plant and so little time!

Recently, one of my daughters asked me which “site” I’d been working on lately and I said, “The one outside!”  Sometimes SIGHTS win out over SITES.  Which is something that I hope each and every person who works online realizes.  I’ve often said that we should all be very careful that the backs of our heads aren’t the views our family members see most.

But it’s more than that.  It’s about balance.  Those of us who work from home – especially those alpha humans of you who have outside jobs AND work online – have to be particularly mindful of the balance we’re creating in our lives. A while back, I felt like my life’s balance was a bit out of whack.  You know me… I broke out the notebook and pen.

I wrote down things that were important to me – activities that made my day worthwhile, enjoyable, and productive.  Not JUST worthwhile, not JUST enjoyable, and not JUST productive – I included everything:  Housework, cooking, gardening, reading, writing, e-mail correspondence, baking, playing with my cats, birdwatching, walking, yoga, my blogs, baseball (watching, not playing!) and so on.

It occurred to me that some of my favorite activities were being neglected, because I didn’t have time for them.  Then I took a close look at areas where I could “steal” a little time – like a Time Management Robin Hood (I’m beginning to think that Social Media is the Sheriff of Nottingham).

Honestly, these periodic self-examinations are vital.  Why? Because we humans (yes, even you alpha humans) are creatures of habit.  We grow so accustomed to doing particular things and doing them in a particular way that we don’t even realize what’s going on half the time.

Why do you think refrigerators get so overrun with leftovers (which reminds me…)?  No one in their right mind would stack container upon container of food that’ll never see the light of day again on purpose.  We just don’t think about it.  We’re cleaning off the table and there are a few spoonfuls left of baby carrots – - – - of course they have to be salvaged!  Into a plastic container they go for a future meal.

Never to be heard from again.

We just get sort of wrapped up in a way of doing things and we, half the time, don’t fully even realize what we’re doing.

My husband told me not long ago about an older man that he does business with.  This man is what my husband calls “Straight up country.”  The man was doing his business in a way that, frankly, didn’t make sense.  When my husband (politely) asked him why he did things this particular way, the man said,”Well, that’s just how we always done it.“  How many of us could put on our best “country-fied” accent and say the same thing about our systems, “Well, that’s just how we always done it.”

Whether it worked or not!

Time management is one of those things in life that, in my opinion, requires frequent adjustments.  Why? Because things change!  What worked like a charm three months ago may not work at all today.  Chores change, projects change, seasons change, Monday night sports change, goals change, situations change, and WE change.

We may require more “ME time” now than we did then.  We may simply want to spend more time birdwatching and flower sniffing this month than last.  We may have a clear goal that has come into focus and we may need more time to work toward that goal.

The point is, always take a good look at your average day and how you spend it.  Are you spending your time or is your time spending you?

Grab pen and paper and write down how you spend a typical day.  Are there any areas that are given too much time at the expense of others?  Trim off a little of this excess time and put it to better use.

Below are just a few Time Management tips that may help.

  1. Set goals for particular projects.  If you want a particular task completed, give yourself a deadline. It keeps you honest and, often, will bring out your best.  We tend to get pretty creative when we’re under the gun.
  2. Prioritize.  Make an honest assessment – which things are the most important?  Tackle them first and put the others on the back burner.
  3. If a project is particularly difficult or time-consuming, take it on early in the day.  If I’m working on a project that involves a new learning curve, I schedule it for my am coffee hours.  This is the period of time when I have the least interruptions, the most caffeine, and my mind seems to be the sharpest.  Personally, I credit the coffee.
  4. Do – NOT – Procrastinate.  It’s as easy to do as breathing, and sometimes infinitely more enjoyable, but it causes more headaches tomorrow.  Do it now and be done with it.
  5. Always beware of time wasters.  Now let me say this:  If you have a particular activity that brings you peace, enjoyment, and serves as a way for you to unwind – it’s not a time waster!   Sitting back after a long day and watching a re-run of The Golden Girls (love those gals!), catching up on tweets, or playing a video game is a perfect way to unwind. What one person may call “wasting time” can be the next person’s sanity preserver. Everyone needs personal time and, again, that’s not a time waster.  However, if there are activities that you find yourself spending an unusual amount of time doing – while getting nothing out of them – it’s time to invite them to leave. If e-mail has become overwhelming, unsubscribe to a few newsletters that no longer serve a purpose. (Frankly, half of them have become sales pitches and commercials anyway – PET PEEVE alert:  Don’t promise me something gloriously cool in your title then throw a price tag on it once I’m in the e-mail!)
  6. Stop chasing perfection.  The person who thinks their outfit, their hair, their blog post, their blog’s design, their tweet updates – everything – has to be perfect is chasing unicorns.  Perfection doesn’t exist any more than unicorns do, and chasing  after either simply makes a spectacle out of the one giving chase. It also wastes precious time.
  7. Create a schedule and stick to it.  If you allot yourself the 9:00 to 10:00 hour for a certain task, you will do everything in your power to make the deadline.  Again, when we know we have a “cut off” time, we dig deep into our well of creativity and make things happen.
  8. If you do make a schedule, don’t fill every hour of the day with work.  What kind of a life is that?! Even Superman takes his cape off when his work is done.
  9. Make certain times of the day a “HANDS OFF” zone – a period of time when you don’t even touch the computer or iPhone (or any other tech-y marvel).  I read an article not long ago about “Unplugging” your kids.   We adults need to be periodically unplugged as well – it’ll make us more efficient!
  10. Don’t take on more than you can handle.  Don’t be afraid to say, “I’m sorry but I’m simply too busy right now.”  Don’t let other people make unnecessary demands on your time.  If they aren’t cool enough to keep their pens and plans off of your to do list, they’re the ones with the problem, not you.  Don’t let other people confiscate your time.  Just refuse to let them have it.

A final thing about your daily schedule:  Be sure to include activities that promote your health, your happiness, and enrich your mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being.  Ask yourself what activities you enjoy the most.  Are you able to do these activities or are other things crowding them out?  Your happiness is at stake, here!

Life is absolutely beautiful.  It can be unexpected, for certain, and it can completely catch us off guard at times – but, make no mistake about it, life is breathtakingly beautiful and incredibly precious.  If you’re too busy – chasing dollar signs, fortune, fame, or the perfect body – you just might miss the magic.  Slow down. Sit down. Most of all, enjoy the ride.

Never postpone happiness and never squeeze what you want to do out of the way for things you think you have to do.  There’s room for both.  So, my good merry men and women, examine your day and see if you need to rob any time from one area to shore up another.  And, seriously, keep an eye on social media sites – they’re the real robbers.

Now, for that refrigerator….

What Your Words Reveal and How They Affect Self Growth

by joi on May 4, 2010

What we say reveals who we are.

Cats, children, peanut butter fudge, coffee…  These are just some of the billions of things that fascinate me.  There’s something else you can add to the list.  Something I spend at least 8 hours each day surrounding myself with – sorting them out, putting them under the microscope to determine if they’re suitable for the job or not, toying with them, and so on.

Words, glorious words.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been at their mercy. The six year old that read the back of her colorful cereal box as she ate a bowl of its sweet contents can still be found reading the back of her colorful cereal box as she eats its healthy contents. The girl’s quite a bit older and a little bit taller, the cereal is (usually) healthier, but the love of reading is still very much in place.

I love the spoken word every bit as much as the written word.  As you know, I collect quotes as though my very life depends upon it.  I don’t just jot down quotes as I read, I jot down quotes from tv shows, movies, speeches, and (often) even casual conversations – I just wait until the conversation’s over!  One of my favorite quotes is actually from my daughter Emily. Years ago, she and her sisters were riding their bikes and Emily wrecked, breaking her collar bone.  About a week passed and the sleepless nights, frustrating sling, limited freedom, and pain were taking its toll.  We were talking about the whole shebang and she sighed and  said, “What doesn’t kill you makes for a great story.”  She then pointed out that one day it’d make a great story.

For some reason, for such a small girl – in so much discomfort – to put her thoughts together in such a way, and give them a positive spin, no less, made me smile.  It still does.

I don’t quite remember what I had said or done at the time, but I remember my husband once laughing and saying that he wished he could see inside my head.  Fortunately, for him (I just don’t think he’s ready for that), that’s not quite possible.  However, there IS a can’t miss way to tell a lot about what goes on inside someone else’s head:  Just listen to their words.

Mothers who are particularly close to their children can often tell what’s going on inside their child’s mind by paying close attention to their words. Many times they make what they think is a grand announcement, when we’d been expecting it for months.  They’ll look at us and say, “Well, aren’t you surprised?” while we think, “Surprised?  I’ve been reading this between your words for 5 months, what took YOU so long to figure it out?!?!”

We’re all more transparent than we’d like to believe.  We give more of ourselves away with our words than we realize.  In fact, if we truly realized the extent to which we expose our minds each time we open our mouths, we wouldn’t just think twice before speaking – we’d think over our words about 10 times apiece.

This truth can actually help us along our self help and self improvement journey. If you’re like me and like to jot everything down, grab a pen and paper.  If you’re like my husband and like to bounce everything off the insides of your head, just keep your mind handy.  Now think about the past week.  Write down (or visualize) your top 5 topics of conversation…. the things you frequently talked over with your family, friends, and co-workers.  If this top 5 is in line with what you’re trying to accomplish in life, then your head is in the game.  If the thoughts and topics of conversation are productive and constructive – you’re in it to win it!

However, if the most frequent topics of conversation are destructive, negative, or of a gossiping nature, you aren’t doing yourself or anyone else for that matter any good.  Remember, our words only show what’s going on inside of our minds.  If what’s spilling out of our mouth is negative, berating, sarcastic, or gossipy, that doesn’t say much for our think tank does it?  Where’s that stinking thinking going to get us?  Answer: Nowhere worth going.

Spend a little time thinking about… well… spend a little time thinking about what you’re thinking about. It’s coming out in your conversation. If you don’t like what you hear, tinker with your thoughts.

We can also flip this exercise around to help us understand the people around us a little better.  What are their frequent topics of conversation?  If someone you love frequently talks about wanting to lose weight – you can rest assured that it’s weighing heavily on their minds.  Be the sort of “hero” to them you’d want someone to be for you – go walking with them, encourage them, take them to healthy restaurants and share healthy food and recipes with them.

Many times when someone talks about a subject frequently, it’s a cry for help – whether they even realize it or not.

Finally, be very careful when judging someone by their words.  For example, if someone comes across as mean and hateful – many times it’s simply an indication that they are hurting inside. Different people handle pain and stress differently.  Some get sad and mope around while others verbally abuse anything and everything within earshot.  They sort of “take out” their stress on others like 6 year old kids having temper tantrums.

Whenever possible, try to get to the root of the problem and find out WHY their words are so angry. Don’t get caught up in the theatrics as much as you do the meaning behind the whole production.

Always remember to pay close attention to your words – they reveal more about you than you realize.

What we say reveals who we are.

How to Cut Back on Salt and Why You Should Do So

by joi on April 21, 2010

Basil: A wonderful, fragrant, and delicious herb that’ll pull you away from your salt shaker.

Americans pass the salt…and we pass lots of it! We’ve gotten so accustomed to the flavor and deliciousness of salty foods that it’ll take a real concentrated effort to cut back on sodium.  However, experts tell us that it’s an effort we HAVE to make.

The average American diet has turned into a dangerous diet and salt has a lot to do with it.   I’m not sure that we’re necessarily being more aggressive with the salt shakers. I think a lot of the salty trouble is from salt lurking in “innocent” foods – foods like soups, frozen pizza, diet drinks, etc. In fact close to 80 percent of salt in our diet comes from processed foods.

It has gotten so bad that the government is being asked to step in and force food makers to change their salty ways.

New research shows that Americans consume about one and a half teaspoons a day. ..more than double what we need for good health.  More than double… wow.

I never have a salt shaker on our table, and use very little in my cooking.  I prefer herbs, garlic, pepper, and other innocent spices.  But that certainly doesn’t keep us from having to wage a full-out salt battle in our home.  Even a so-called low calorie salad dressing can be loaded with sodium… Up 994 milligrams . That’s just half a teaspoon per serving. And half the recommended amount of sodium for an entire day.  In fact, if you check the nutritional values on the labels of your favorite foods, you’ll be in for quite a shock. Especially on LOW FAT and LOW CALORIE foods.  It seems that the companies think they have to compensate for the reduced sugar with salt.  Why not herbs and spices?

The Institute of Medicine is urging the government to step in and force food makers to gradually cut the salt in those food.  Doctors point out that some salt is necessary for good health, but the effect of too much salt is well known.  Not only does it elevate blood pressure, which by itself causes heart disease, kidney disease and brain disease but it also has a direct effect on the heart, kidney and brain.

The American Medical Association says that if salt in processed and restaurant food were cut in half over ten years, over 150,000 lives a year could be saved.

Start checking the labels of your favorite foods and make smart choices.  A lot of foods are available with “LOW SALT” and, trust me, you seldom miss the salt.  In fact, it’s kind of refreshing to simply taste the food as it was intended to be enjoyed.

As I said, my favorite tool in my cutting-back-on-salt arsenal is herbs. The time is perfect to plant your own herb bed and experiment with different flavors.  We grow thyme, rosemary, cilantro, stevia, chives, mint, basil, oregano, and sage in our garden and I’m always looking for fresh herbs to grow and try.  My biggest challenge?  Diet Dr. Pepper – without a doubt.  I’ve cut “back” but “out” just doesn’t seem to be an option.  I don’t  smoke or drink and I certainly don’t do drugs.  Heck I don’t even cuss (unless I were to smash my toe, see a snake, or endure a misfortune so foul that a D– were truly the only appropriate response).  I’m clinging to this vice in a 2-Liter and trying to pry it out of my hands might lead to one of those misfortunes I just spoke of.

Let’s not try it, shall we?

Another trick that’s worth trying is something my mother often did and my daughter Brittany does a great deal of:  Turn to pepper.  My mom would even put pepper on fruit – I know, I agree, ewww – but it kept her away from the salt.  The woman put it on watermelon, tomatoes, cantaloupe, apples, and even pears.  Personally, I like all of these without anything on them – however, I did put pepper on cantaloupe once (just to see if my mother was as whacky as I suspected at time – I was about 12) and it was actually pretty good.  I prefer it completely naked, however.  I’ve also put pepper on tomatoes, but I prefer fresh basil or rosemary.

My daughter Brittany puts pepper on just about everything as well.  She never adds salt to potatoes of any kind, but the pepper rains down like a black thunderstorm.  Again, (in an effort to gauge her whackiness – my age isn’t available at this time), I tried salt on some oven-baked fries (the good Lord knows they needed something) and I was very pleasantly surprised.  It was all they needed and the salt stayed on the shelf.

The best advice available is this:  To cut back on salt….. cut back on salt.  Make a conscious effort to avoid processed foods that boast a lot of salt and try to use your salt shaker less often.  Remember, you aren’t trying to eliminate salt completely from your diet! You’re simply trying to cut back.

Random Thoughts Because I’m a Random Gal

by joi on April 13, 2010

  1. Yesterday, when I told my youngest daughter (Stephany) about the quote I’d chosen as the Daily Quote – - – - Do good, and disappear. – - — she said, “I love that.  Like a superhero.”  Great take on the quote!  Ironically,  in the comments,  Quinn, had the same take.  I think it’s odd that superheros never occurred to me – I’m positively obsessed with them!  Too busy thinking about flower gardens and herb beds, I guess.  Don’t tell Batman or Hawkgirl, ‘kay?
  2. I’m completely in love with restaurants having to put caloric values in the menus.  Talk about eye openers.  I think it’s a giant step in the right direction and a quick look around town let’s us all know that it’s a step that needs to be taken.
  3. My name is Joi and I’m a Farmville addict…. Oh, and I’m not ashamed to admit it.  It’s a 100 percent harmless way to have a little fun and connect with family members and friends that live miles and miles away.  It’s akin to playing a board game in which I have all of my daughters, girlfriends from high school, an aunt I love to distraction, and friends of my aunt’s (who are too, too cute to be believed) – all sitting around the table, drinking coffee and having fun.  People who are critical of harmless games like this?  They need more fun in their own lives… it’d cheer them up! Cranks.  I think it’s pretty much like girlfriends and wives who complain about their sweethearts fishing, playing video games, or golf – let other people have their fun and find your own.  No one person is completely responsible for another person’s entertainment or amusement.
  4. Tiger Woods made his own beds – could everyone just let it go and allow him and everyone involved to get on with their lives? Athletes, stars, politicians, and everyday Joes unfortunately mess up and sometimes it’s messier than other times. But once it’s all out in the open, how many times must he be flogged, embarrassed, hunted, and chastised for it?  He’s human and he did some dumb things.  He knows that and is just trying to get on with his life and rise from the ashes.  Why do some people delight in trying to hold him down and throw more ashes on him.  In my book that makes THEM the villain.  Bullying someone (even when they made dumb mistakes) makes the bully just as vile as the bullied – you could make a case for “more so.”
  5. This season (and every season!) be sure to buy your  fruit, vegetables, flowers, and plants from local farmers and stands.  How disheartening it must be to have your little stand all set up and your homemade sign in full view just to watch cars zoom by to pay more for punier produce at the super store.
  6. I can’t say that I’m obsessive about counting calories in everything I eat and drink but I am a big fan of staying in the ballpark. I’m especially careful about the little “extras” and wasted calories that can be one’s undoing. For example, if you’re a huge fan of French Salad Dressing like me – do yourself a favor. Compare the calories in our beloved French dressing to those in Italian. I’m pretty sure you’ll switch countries as fast as I did! If you want to get a good idea of how many calories your consuming on average, check out CalorieKing.com. You can find fast food caloric values (holy french fries! – come to think about it, if it has French in the title, I”m giving it up), condiments, drinks, and so on. Great information.
  7. I just posted an article on Out of Bounds that has to with DEEP THINKING as opposed to shallow thinking. It looks at a variety of ways to stimulate your brain cells and keep your mind sharp. I’d love for you to check it out: Go Deep: A Mental Exercise to Keep You Mentally Sharp.
  8. If you have the means, the heart, and the ability to do so – go to your local humane society and give a precious animal a place to call home and, better yet, the family they so desperately want.  A cat or dog can absolutely light up your world and bring warmth, love, and joy to your life.  You can’t ask for a better walking or driving companion than a dog and when it comes to doing anything around the house, a highly inquisitive cat is the best company you could hope for.  Imagine how great you’ll feel when you walk in and catch your new family member’s eye – better still, imagine how you’ll both feel when you walk out the door together.

Have a beautiful, outstanding, and utterly remarkable Tuesday.  It’s one of my favorite days of the week – courtesy of The Biggest Loser and Lost!

Jillian Michaels On and In May’s Success Magazine

by joi on April 9, 2010

There are certain things that I love so much that I can’t even imagine life without them…

  • Favorite restaurants (Applebee’s, Ninki’s Japanese Steakhouse in Owensboro, Kentucky, Olive Garden, Cracker Barrel…)
  • Favorite magazines (SUCCESS Magazine, Taste Of Home, Psychology Today,Woman’s World…)
  • Favorite authors (Max Lucado, Dan Koontz, Dr. Oz, Grenville Kleiser…)
  • Favorite tv shows (The Biggest Loser, Survivor, LOST, The Amazing Race, the Food Network…yes, the entire network..)
  • The 4 6 food groups (vegetables, fruit, dairy, meats, chocolate, and coffee )

Recently, I did a double take when a few of these lovelies intersected:  I pulled my SUCCESS magazine out of the mailbox and badabing, Jillian Michaels’ beautiful smile greeted me from the cover.

If, like me, you’re a huge Jillian Michaels fan, you’ll want to grab this issue right away.  The article inside, “Tough Love,” gives you insight into the Holy Terror that paces back and forth in the gym looking for someone’s a$$ to land on.  A favorite part of the show for me is when she gets that spark in her eye when she sees a place to land.

Priceless.

I don’t allow people to be victims, because if they’re victims, they’re not in control of their own destiny.  – Jillian Michaels

In the article, Jillian and her business partner (Giancarlo Chersich) discuss Jillian’s new reality show that will air this summer on NBC, “Losing It.” There’s no way I’ll miss a single episode.  In Losing It, she’ll spend a week living with an American family – identifying and treating their unhealthy habits.  In the interview, she also discusses why she cares so deeply for her contestants, what makes her tick, and what advice she has for people who are trying to achieve their own personal goals. The amazing thing is, her advice is spot on whether your goals are centered around the scale or not. In fact, Jillian has a personal development book coming out next year, “Unlimited: How to Build an Exceptional Life.” I look forward to it!

It’s a great, great article and you won’t want to miss a single word.

Also in this issue of SUCCESS (as if Jillian Michaels isn’t enough):

  • A really good article on Decision Making by best-selling author John C. Maxwell
  • A clever article on using reality shows to spark family conversations (some of our best discussions stem from tv shows – whether they’re debates over whether or not Boston Rob should have been voted off of Survivor or which contestant will lose the most weight on Loser)
  • An article about stress by Drs. Oz and Roizen – great tips
  • A profile and interview with Paul Newman’s daughter Nell Newman (she’s a lovely combination of Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward’s features – one could do a heck of a lot worse than that!)
  • Much, much more!

As I was reading through this issue of SUCCESS, I realized one of the things that makes this magazine one of my favorites:  It’s always relevant.

Visit Success Magazine online and be sure to grab the newest issue.

I also loved the following quote by Robin Williams, featured in a section about being yourself:  “You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t’ lose it.”

Indeed!

Books and DVDs by Jillian Michaels:

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