How to Be Happy

Happiness is a Choice!

When my daughters were 8, 7, and 4, they got along beautifully most of the time. However, as you’d imagine, they were perfectly capable of mini wars that left everyone miserable.

I remember one summer day in particular. Each of the 3 was positively furious with the other 2. Such scowls! It was one of those, “She’s touching me!” and “Make her stop looking at me!” days. Even our cats were in nasty moods.

Around 3:00 pm, things began to return to normal and the oldest (Emily) and youngest (Stephany) even headed out to the backyard to play. While I was fixing supper, my 7 year old (Brittany) came around the corner with lopsided pigtails and a pooched out bottom lip. She had one sandal on her foot and carried the other in her hand, seemingly undecided about what to do next. Put the second sandal on and join the fun outdoors or take the first one off and stay inside, away from the laughs, sunshine, and playing.

She said that her sisters were outside playing and she didn’t know what to do. I sat down at the kitchen table and asked her what she wanted to do.

I can still hear her response, word for word, after all these years: “I want to go out and play and have fun and act like I was never mad. But my face still knows it was mad.”

I couldn’t hold the smile back and barely swallowed the laughter.

I straightened her pigtails and helped her put on her other sandal. I explained to her that “Brittany” was in charge of “Brittany’s face.” If “Brittany” had decided she wanted to be HAPPY instead of MAD, all she had to do was tell her face to smile. She seemed to like the idea of being in charge. So often her younger sister refused to listen to her and her older sister never even considered the arrangement. She finally had someone she was in complete control of.

I told her that the happiness and fun that came after being mad or sad was some of the best happiness and fun ever made. It’s similar to the feeling you get after a cold – feeling good never felt so good! It all made sense to her and I sent out three Popsicles with her to make sure she got a heroine’s welcome. Her sisters ran to her and they all 3 made beautiful, colorful, sticky messes as they played happily – as though nothing had ever happened.

Although the air conditioning was running, I opened the kitchen window just to listen to the laughter and squeals.

Sometimes we’re all like this beautiful little 7 year old, with one sandal on and one sandal off, standing in the kitchen with her mother. We all get caught in that “betwixt and between place.” We want desperately to smile, have fun, and even break out in the most carefree laughter imaginable. But….

….but we don’t make enough money.
….but we want a new job.
….but we haven’t met Mr. or Mrs. Right.
….but we want to lose 20 pounds.
….but our kids are making mistakes.
….but we hate our dining room set.

….. but I’ve fought with my two sisters all day and my face can’t forget that it’s mad.

We are as much in charge of our faces and feelings as Brittany was her’s. We have to realize that there is a choice to be made and that we are the only ones who can make it.

If we want to be happy, all we have to do is put on that second sandal and have at it!

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About the Author:
The article above was written by Joi Sigers of Self Help Daily – a web site dedicated entirely to helping people bring out the best in life by bringing out the best in themselves.
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Feel free to use the article above on your own web site or blog. Please make sure the blurb between the dotted lines is in plain view and be certain the link is active. Thanks! – Joi

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