“The cyclone derives its powers from a calm center. So does a person.” – Norman Vincent Peale
Ever see someone go completely ape? Maybe you’ve even been on that side of the ape before yourself.
Okay, let’s be honest, we all have.
It’s a frustratingly miserable position to be in – to get yourself so worked up that you want to explode all over the room. But it doesn’t matter whether we’re in the right or whether we’re in the wrong, one thing’s perfectly clear. When we lose our cool, we lose our power.
There’s a certain little transition we go through that separates us from owning our cool to losing it. We refer to it as feeling our temper flair, feeling hot under the collar, or (very aptly) losing it.
The surest way to tell that you’re crossing from the control side to the out of control side is to listen to your voice. If it starts to squeak, shake, or scream – you’re on the verge of losing your temper, your presence, your footing, and your control. Ironically, we think that by yelling we’re more likely to be heard - but think about it, if someone’s yelling at you do you hang on to every word or get defensive and yell back? Exactly.
If, the minute we heard our own voice changing, we took a deep breath or two (three, if we’re dealing with a male – just not kidding), and found our footing again – we’d be in control enough to make ourselves heard. Especially if the person we’re talking to is quickly losing their footing…..When they’ve lost theirs, we’ll still have ours.
Footing and control.
Joi
