Self Help Daily is honored to welcome Janice Lynne Lundy as our Guest Blogger today. We’re also very honored to welcome the readers who are here by way of WOW – Women on Writing. We hope to see much more of all of you!
I also hope you allow this wonderful author’s words to touch your heart as they have mine.
Transparency: A Key to Spiritual Growth
Janice Lynne Lundy
Like many others, I discovered self-help books when my life wasn’t going as planned. I was stressed and overwhelmed, trying to be the perfect wife, mother, friend, and co-worker. I was sick and tired—literally—of working to make everyone around me happy, and I had the poor health to prove it.
In 1994, I dove headlong into a personal growth journey to reclaim my truest self. I was willing to do the inner work required to uncover her because I really wanted my life to change. I wanted to feel less strained and more peaceful. This was the year I discovered women like Iyanla Vanzant and Sue Patton Thoele, a glorious array of self-help mentors whose words gently guided me toward the “recovery” of my whole self.
Your Truest Self: Embracing the Woman You Are Meant to Be is the summarization of everything I learned at the feet of these esteemed women. Through their guiding words and soulful presence, I was able to uncover twelve Transformational Truths that women can use to live more peaceful, confident, and courageous lives. The Truths are universal and interspiritual.
The key to living as our truest self, I discovered, lies in our ability to be “transparent.” This means we are passionate about our healing journey; willing to look at ourselves openly and honestly. We acknowledge our history and the stories we continue to tell about ourselves. Transparency means that there is no more hiding from our self, from others, and most importantly from our Source.
In Your Truest Self, Iyanla Vanzant is the “holy” and whole woman who serves as our role model for transparent living. In the course of two interviews, she shared with me the technique she has used to become more transparent. “Journaling,” she said, “is the very best way I know to look at what you’re thinking, what you’re saying, how you’re feeling, and what you’re doing. Journaling is self-reflection, self-correction.”
What Iyanla is referring to in her practice of self-reflection is being the “observer.” The observer is the dispassionate watcher of our thoughts and feelings. To observe we begin to adopt the mind of a scientist who desires to take something apart to better understand how it works and why. Through being our own observer, we can take an honest look at the thoughts that continue to dominate our mindset. These thoughts inevitably become our words, as well as our actions in the world.
Iyanla agreed with me that anyone can benefit from journaling. Putting pen to paper helps us tell the truth and become aware. Having taken a good look at ourselves in this way, we can begin to make new choices and remake our lives. This was the method she used and the method I have used to take a good, long, loving look at what’s “real.”
We set the intention to engage in self-reflection without self-criticism, judgment, or shame. We do so with love and compassion for ourselves, because we are making significant strides toward releasing old habits and hurts. We treat ourselves gently, kindly, because we do want to live as our truest, most loving and peaceful self.
Without transparency, we will not move forward on our personal growth path. Without transparency, we will continue to delude ourselves, stay stuck, or wounded. We’ll continue to read self-help books for “head knowledge,” but postpone our heart’s growth. If we truly desire personal change, we must be willing to put the book down and start engaging with our innermost self.
Uncovering our truest self is the journey of a lifetime, and one well worth taking. With faithful mentors cheering us on, trusty journal in hand, we can take the first steps toward living as the radiant people we are meant to be.
Janice Lynne Lundy’s Bio:
Janice Lynne Lundy is an inspirational speaker, interfaith spiritual director, syndicated magazine columnist, and the author of four self-help/spiritual growth books for women. Her newest book, Your Truest Self: Embracing the Woman You Are Meant to Be, has just been released by Sorin Books.
Described by her readers, audiences, and colleagues as “practical and poetic, possessing deep and gentle wisdom,” Janice Lynne Lundy serves as an interfaith spiritual guide to tens of thousands of women throughout the United States through her nationally syndicated magazine column in Women’s LifeStyle, as a professional speaker and retreat facilitator, and as a Spiritual Director. She has been recognized for her sensitive and compelling interviews as well as for her gift for connecting with soul-searching women. Jan is an adjunct staff member for the Institute of Spirituality at the Dominican Center in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Her newest book, Your Truest Self: Embracing the Woman You Are Meant to Be, was released in October 2008 by Sorin Books.
Jan is the author of three previously published personal and spiritual growth books: Coming Home to Ourselves: A Woman’s Journey to Wholeness; Awakening the Spirit Within; and Perfect Love: How to Find Yours and Make It Last Forever (co-authored with her husband, Brad Lundy).
The mother of three, stepmother of four, and grandmother of three more, Jan resides on the peaceful shoreline of Grand Traverse Bay in northern Michigan with her husband, Brad, her creative partner and soul’s companion.
Learn more about Jan at her website: www.awakenedliving.com. Register for her newsletter and she’ll send you her new, inspirational 90-page e-book, The Awakened Woman’s Guide to Life.
Visit her blog: www.awakeisgood.blogspot.com. She enjoys hearing from her readers and responds personally. Email: jan@awakenedliving.com.
Thanks so much for your inspirational words, Janice. They’re welcome here anytime!
Buy Janice Lynne Lundy’s newest book on Amazon: Your Truest Self: Embracing the Woman You Are Meant to Be
{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }
Good morning, Joi and visitors,
I am so happy to be here today on this wonderful, inspirational, informative site! I’ll be checking in throughout the day to answer any questions you might have. Thank you for taking the time to learn more about me, my life’s work, and my new book—which I am most excited about!
Blessings on your journey into YOUR truest self,
Jan
Jan’s last blog post..Simple Things…
Jan, we’re thrilled to have you here. Best of luck with your beautiful book – I honestly believe it could, and will, touch a lot of lives.
I’m a firm believer in the importance of keeping a journal. Many nights I’ll find myself feeling tense after work and pouring it out into a journal makes me feel instantly better.
Great post – I’m heading to Amazon!
Count me amongst the true blue journal-ists! There have honestly been times when I’ll be feeling kind of blue or anxious but can’t figure out why. I’ll sit down with pen and paper, start writing down my thoughts and, usually within 10 minutes a light bulb goes off and I realize what’s really on my mind.
I guess we all (especially females?) get pretty good at putting our feelings on the back burner. Problem is, if left untended, we get a slow burn that might spark a larger fire.
I agree that a journal makes a great smoke alarm!
Hi Jan,
I love this quote, “Without transparency, we will continue to delude ourselves, stay stuck, or wounded. We’ll continue to read self-help books for “head knowledge,” but postpone our heart’s growth.”
I think it’s so true…we can read and read and read, until we’re so overwhelmed with info that it just causes us to get stuck. I’ve done that before with writing “how-to” books. It got to the point where I was so bombarded with writing advice that I couldn’t write in my true voice. I became unsure of my abilities, and gave up on my novel for the moment. I think at that point we need to step away from advice and focus on our true inner being.
I’m glad I read this! I haven’t heard it put quite so eloquently.
Hugs,
Ang
Angela,
I wrote that quote down and pinned it to my fridge! It’s just beautiful.
Kelli and Joi,
I apologize for the delayed response here. I am “on the road” and my computer access is limited.
Kudos to you for sticking with the journaling process. Truly, journaling (though I admit I was a reluctant journal at first) broke me wide open. It was the first time I had the guts to put what I was feeling down on paper. Scary! I made the connection though. When I journaled (or just scribbled something , what one might call “venting”, I actually felt better, more clear, empowered. Doing so became a vital part of my personal growth process. It can be for all of us, if we just give ourselves permission to get started. I suggest using a spiral notebook or legal pad at first, then “graduating” to a more permanent journal when we feel more confident about our process. I believe that what cannot be expressed, cannot be healing. Truly, journaling can heal what ails us!
I wish you both the best on your journaling venture. An inner adventure, to be sure! Blessings to you.
jan’s last blog post..Simple Things…
Angela and Joi,
I am so happy to hear that this bit of wisdom spoke to you. It is true. Our stuckness, when it comes right down to it, becomes a matter of choice. In truth, we are the only ones who can release ourselves from old, habituated patterns that no longer serve us. Journaling can shed light on those and release us launch us on a new path of inner freedom.
For any newbie journalers out there, there is a video clip on my blog about getting started with journaling. It might help. http://www.awakeisgood.blogspot.com. Also, my first book, Coming Home to Ourseves, has a small chapter on journaling for the purposes of healing and returning to wholeness. That might be helpful. (It can be found on amazon or on my website: http://www.awakenedliving.com
Blessing to you both on your unfolding journey!
jan’s last blog post..Simple Things…
Beautiful post. Ah it was great! Thanks go to both of you!!
Joi,
Love the name, BTW! I think your statement to “use journaling as a smoke detector” is brilliant! As a writer alone, I can feel the burn boiling inside if I don’t get my pen to paper for any length of time. And Jan: thanks so much for posting the link to your video on newbie journalists! I’m giving a speech next month to young girls (HGNA.org) about journaling and this will surely help. I’ll see you on my blog next week!
Happy writing to all!
Mary Jo : )
Mary Jo Campbell’s last blog post..“In order to write about life, first you must live it!” ~ Ernest Hemingway
Mary Jo – Thanks! My mom wanted to name me Joy. To make a long story short, early in her pregnancy with me, she was told that her baby wouldn’t live – that they needed to abort the pregnancy. The doctors said that if a miracle happened and she did carry the baby the full 9 months, something would be “very wrong” with it. In addition, they said it’d be dangerous for her to go through with the pregnancy and birth.
THANKFULLY, mom was having none of it! She defiantly told them she was going to have her baby and that, what’s more, the baby would be perfectly healthy.
9 months later, I arrived on the scene – with all digits, lungs, etc. Mom looked at me and said I was a “joy.” Then, she gave me the name. My great grandmother asked her if she’d spell it with an i, because she thought that would look “cute.”
Every time I’m complimented on my name it’s a reminder of how my mom fought for me and it brings a tear (or twenty) to my eye.
Thanks so much for the kind words, Mary Jo!
Thanks, Steph!
By the way, everyone (Look out! Proud mother coming through!) – Steph is my daughter. She’s the “baby” of the family and one of the lights of my life.
Jan,
Great video! Thanks so much.
Stephany-
Thanks for the kind comments on the article!
Mary Jo-
Good to hear that the article and the video on my blogsite helped. (www.awakeisgood.blogspot.com). I used to teach intro. to journaling classes many years ago and will probably relaunch them due to popular demand. I often conducted them for health-care systems, especially with women diagnosed with cancer. As you know, journal writing is a powerful process for self-healing. What cannot be expressed, cannot be healed. I am so very happy that you may be introducing this “art” to young women. Both my daughters journaled in their teen years and it was central, I believe, to their well-being, but it also enhanced their creativity. My youngest daughter is a visual artist, currently at a university with art as her major. My oldest daughter is back in college and is heading towards journalism. Fancy that! Amazing what a few well-placed words can carry you. Blessings on your endeavors!
Joi,
I’m back from “the road.” Happy to be back here checking in with folks. Your name is a treasure, a gift, that will always be special to you. What a beautiful reminder of a mother’s love.
Blessings!
jan’s last blog post..Simple Things…
Pardon the error in the above post. “Fun” in the last line, should read “few.” Oy, evay. I think it’s time for a nap. Sacred rest, I call it! One of the best acts of self-nurturing we can engage in…
J
jan’s last blog post..Simple Things…
Jan,
“Pardon the error in the above post. “Fun” in the last line, should read “few.” – Thanks to the powers of a comment editor… now it does!
Joi, I absolutely love your blog. You are so positive and have such good advice. I love your most recent post-Your Truest Self. If you could give me your opinion on 2 of my posts on my blog I would appreciate it. The posts are TO BLOG OR NOT TO BLOG and the other one is HAS ANYONE FOUND ME? I would really appreciate any comments you have for me.
I think I am going to have to get the book!
Thank you, Keri
Thank you, Keri. How very sweet of you! It’ll be my pleasure to read the posts – the titles both intrigue me!
Keri,
Thank you for the kind comments on the post. I do hope the book will touch your heart.
Yes, Joi, you have a gift for daily inspiration. Keep up the great work. I love your positive energy. I will now bookmark your site as one of my favorites on my blog site!
Are you familiar with http://www.gratefulness.org? It is the website founded by Br. David Steindl-Rast, and a great source of inspiration and helpful leads. I subscribe to their daily quote and it jumpstarts my day with a big dose of gratitude. You might enjoy it, perhaps even featuring it as a resource for your readers, if you haven’t already.
It’s nice to be back at my desk. Ahhhh… Blessings of “joy” to you this day.
J
jan’s last blog post..Simple Things…
Thank you so very much, Jan. You are a sweetheart. I absolutely LOVE that one of my beloved polar bears shows up beside my link. That’s just the coolest thing.
I’ve also added your blog to my blog roll, with supreme pleasure.
Keri, I can’t find you! Which makes the second blog post’s title ironic, huh? Your link got messed up, somehow, and when I try searching for you, I can’t find anything. I’ll keep looking.
Macro!!!
http://daisee46.blogspot.com/
That is my link
I hope you can find me. I am really looking forward to your thoughts.
Keri
Keri’s last blog post..To blog or not to blog?
Yeah! I found you. Your blog is beautiful – the colors are so relaxing and pretty. I love flowers, too, so I found myself just staring at the prettiness!
I had trouble leaving comments, though. A lot of blogs are set up these days where it’s tough to comment. I’ve ran into problems 3 times this week alone.
I really enjoy your writing and get a great sense of how kindhearted and sweet you are as a person.
Below is the comment I tried to leave you for your post titled “Someone is Trying to Get My Attention!”:
Wow, girl, you’d better start taking care of yourself!
When the heart tells you that it wants you to slow down, not listening to it would be mighty dangerous!
My aunt had the same sort of problem years ago and made a few lifestyle changes (she began drinking less caffeine – she’d drink a few cups of regular coffee in the morning, then decaf the rest of the day), she quit smoking (cold turkey! – the ER visit scared her that much), and she learned the value of relaxing.
She learned that sometimes there will be dishes in the sink, sometimes the laundry may back up a little, etc. She made more time for herself – for example, it may seem small, but she set aside two hours each evening, after everyone had gone to bed, for her to grab a cup of hot decaf tea, a couple of vanilla wafers, and sit down with Animal Planet. She has kept this routine up for as long as I can remember! It’s “her” time and when the day gets hectic, she looks forward to it and kind of keeps her eye on the prize!
The changes she made and kept have taken care of the problems she had and she hasn’t heard any complaining from her heart since!
Take care – your in my prayers and thoughts. Joi (Self Help Daily.com)
Also, for “Change is Rough,” I wanted to say – Being sick is rougher, so you get your rest! That’s very, very sweet that your family wants to help. I’m sure they realize how many years you’ve spent taking care of their every need and want to take care of you when you need it. We caregivers just aren’t accustomed to being on the other end, though. I know it’s tough. The bottom line is you don’t have a choice.
Rest and relaxation are what your body needs to heal. Think of summertime as a goal. Tell yourself that by the time pretty weather arrives, you’ll be feeling a great deal better. You’ll be ready for planting flowers, grilling chicken, walking at the park (IF your doctor says it’s okay, of course!), etc.
You want to be around for many, many, many years. And you want those years to be happy ones. What you do now will make sure that you get what you want!
Joi
P.S. By the way, I’ve added you to my blogroll. Now, go drink some hot green tea, watch birds from you window, and listen to classical music. That always makes me feel completely chilled!