A few days ago, my male cats (Bo and Svenn) were helping my in the yard. The disaterous ice storm here in Kentucky did a real number on trees, and since we have a virtual forest in our yard, we had limbs and branches down like you wouldn’t believe. It honestly looked as though a tornado had torn through.
My husband was out of town and I thought he’d be glad to see a lot of the work done when he came back. My boys followed me every step of the way. They were delighted with the entertainment and I loved the company – even though I was totally aware that I was their matinee.
They watched as I dragged most of the heavy limbs and carried the ones that could be carried. Some were so heavy they had to stay right where they were. The rabbits under one of them appreciated it greatly. My brave, tough boys just peeked through the branches at the rabbits and turned away. Fortunately for the rabbits (and for me who would have tried to stop it), my one cat who would have sent fur flying is now a house cat.
It wasn’t long before I realized that, although the large limbs had to be dragged a great distance and taxed what few muscles I own, the small branches were much more of a headache. They required frequent bending over as I gathered them up and it seemed as though I never gained on them! They were great nuisances, in spite of their innocent appearance.
It occurs to me that many of our habits are like these sticks. Many of the negative traits or habits that hold us back are usually the small ones. These “stick habits” add up and can cause some serious damage in our lives.
What are some of these habits or traits?
- Temper
- Being judgmental
- Being too hard to please
- Laziness
- Being sloppy
- Selfishness
It seems to me that when we have large habits, we often find a way to “muscle up” and control them. We KNOW they’re there, they’re too big to miss! Some of these include smoking, overeating, not controlling your weight, spending too much money (shhhh), lying, etc. These big bama jammas are so in your face that we couldn’t ignore them for long if we tried (and most of us do indeed try!). All the while we’re looking at these larger ones, the smaller habits just keep lying there, causing a perfect mess.
That’s how it was when I was cleaning the front yard. I hauled limb after limb after limb – then on one of my last trips back to the front of the house, I noticed that there were only a couple of large limbs left. My mind started to celebrate by mapping out the rest of the afternoon’s schedule – warm shower, chili for lunch, a pot of coffee, a Sanford and Son episode, perhaps a second warm shower (what can I say, I was freezing). Then when I pulled away a few of the big dudes, I noticed what had to be a gazillion sticks and branches. Fred and Lamont were going to have to wait.
Our “Stick Habits” Keep Us.
- They keep our relationships from being as close as they could be.
- They keep us from moving up the ladder at work.
- They keep us from having the things we want.
- They keep us from making the world a better place.
- They keep us from being as happy as we could be.
- They keep peace and contentment at arm’s reach.
Take a good close look at your negative habits. Not the big ones (at least not this time!), lean in close and observe the small ones.
Do you expect too much from others? Are you judgmental and critical of other people and situations? Do you get angry more than 3 times a day? Do you spend most of your time thinking about the world around you or yourself? Do you honestly try to make other people happy or do you expect them to make you happy? What’s the last totally selfless thing you did for someone else? Are you honest? Do you tend to overreact to situations, causing them to grow larger than they should actually be? Are you quick to label people based upon their sex, race, social position, or car they drive?
Once the stick habits are there in plain view, pick them up and throw them out of your life. Mark my words, it will make a huge and profound difference in every area of your life. Cast them away so far that you can’t even see them any more, then do everything in your power to make sure that nothing carries them back into your life. It won’t be long before people around you notice the difference as much as you do.
Things that were so wrong will suddenly be so right.
**** Click HERE to find out why you should be knocking Saturated fat out of your life – it isn’t just your heart that you’ll be saving. – Joi
by joi on October 2, 2008
in General
We are a generation of to do lists, multi-tasking, Palm Pilots, and appointment calendars. We proudly wave our “git ‘er done” mentality and vow to do just that. Of course we want our coffee to go – after all there are places to go, people to see, and plenty of ‘er to get done.
I won’t even lecture (well, not today anyway) about what this does to our health, psyche, and relationships. You get a free pass, I’ll mother you about your well-being another day.
What we fail to realize, however, amongst all of our business, is that we can have an admirable list of “To Do’s,” but if we keep doing certain negative things – we’re UN-DO-ing the positive ones in the process.
That paragraph confused even me and I wrote it, so I’ll give an example. An example that pats all of us on the backside. We can walk five days a week for 45 minutes, thinking we’re creating a physical masterpiece. However, at the end of two months, the scales don’t seem to realize the work we’ve put in. Scales are hateful.
The problem is, while walking is a very smart thing to do, more likely than not we aren’t adhering to any to don’ts: Such as, Calorie-packed Lattes, Quarter Pounders with Cheese, fries, potato chips while watching the Cardinal-less playoffs (bitter, much)…
We cancel out perfectly wonderful DOs when we hold tight to the DON’Ts.
Think of these 10 self-destructive thoughts or actions as your To Don’t list. Then, move Heaven and earth to make sure you never do them. They’re your UnDOing. Literally.
- Don’t put things off. I know I just heard God laugh at me for writing this one first. Me – the queen of putting things off? I honestly drive myself crazy and get myself into so many corners by having the Scarlett O’Hara syndrome, “I won’t think about that today. I’ll think about it tomorrow. After all, tomorrow is another day.“ I’m working on it, and hopefully one day I’ll work on it like I mean it. O. M. G. Did you see that?! I just said, “..one day..” Fiddle de de.
- Don’t let others determine how you feel about yourself. Never look to other people to see your own reflection – you’ll never get the same one twice. Taking a good, hard look at yourself is the first step in the self improvement journey. But YOU are the one that has to take inventory. Don’t let others build you up too high, but certainly don’t allow them to tear you down. When someone else determines your highs and lows, don’t they pretty much have control over you? Yeah – not cool, that.
- Stop wasting time in your car! This is perfectly good time that you could benefit from. Instead of driving along, listening to the same old songs over and over again, use the time to learn and grow. Get a connector for your MP3 player in your vehicle, then fill it up with quality podcasts. If you go to itunes and search out podcasts, you’ll be amazed with the variety of information that wants to take a ride with you. There are also, of course, countless books on cds.
- Don’t waste money. Okay, God’s laughing again. Even if we weren’t in the middle of an ill-tempered economy, wasting money is d— du–duu— duuu….. not smart. We could all cut corners and never miss them. What’s the sense in trying to earn more money to get ahead if we keep out-running ourselves. Wonderful, now my husband’s laughing, too.
- Don’t make excuses. If you mess up, and come on, who doesn’t – own up to it. Don’t try to laugh it off if it isn’t funny, don’t try to resize it (upsize or downsize), and most of all, don’t try to put the blame on someone else. And, yes, saying, “I may have been 20 minutes late, but you scheduled the meeting at a stupid hour.” is shifting blame, being rude and being childish. Nobody wears those titles well.
- Don’t underestimate karma. Do Not ever fail to give karma her due – you’ll be sorry. I’ve been telling my daughters about her as long as I’ve been telling them to say please and thank you. Karma can be a rewarding, kind, beautiful seeker of justice, but she can also be a hateful, vengeful b—-. Either way, she has an impossibly long memory. You can’t outrun her, you can’t hide from her. The only thing you can hope to do is to stay on her good side. You know the old adage that says the mother is the “heart” of the home, and that if she’s happy, everyone’s happy – but if she’s miserable, everyone’s miserable? Welcome to the heart of life. She goes by the name Karma. When you make a point of doing the right thing (whether anyone’s watching or not), Karma keeps score and your world will be more harmonious. But when you dodge what’s right in favor of what’s wrong, you’re instantly on her list. And make no mistake about it, she’ll get to you.
- Stop doing what you hate. If you’re working in a job that makes you miserable, find another one. Life’s too short to spend it being miserable.
- Stop thinking so much about money! That’s another thing that sort of defines our generation. We never seem to think we have enough money. Think about it this way – if we had more, we’d just spend more. When my husband and I were first married, he was in the Air Force and we had very little money. When our beautiful daughters started arriving, we had even less. More love, more happiness, more laughter – but most definitely less money. Today, we’ve been blessed to have enough money, but guess what? We still spend it. We simply pay a little more for what we wear, where we live, what we eat, and what we drive. We were as warm, as comfortable, as full, and as mobile then as we are now. I’ll let you in on a little secret too, we were as happy. We’re the same people now as we were then. We laugh out loud at Andy Griffith reruns, argue over who the better NFL team is, spoil our daughters and cats, and so on. Money buys stuff but it doesn’t buy happiness, it doesn’t buy relationships, and it doesn’t buy memories. If you’re sacrificing any of the three in it’s pursuit, you’ll be more than sorry in the end – you’ll be devastated.
- Don’t worry about other people! Sorry for the exclamation mark – I had to yell. How this person wears his hair, how that person dresses, what this person eats, how that person talks – none of your concern. Not your problem. In the new testament, at the point where Jesus has risen and is addressing his apostles, one of them sees fit to ask Him about another apostle. Jesus’ response was, “What is that to you?” A very loving and long-suffering way of saying, “Now remind me how that’s any of your business.” We get SO off track by looking at what others are or are not doing. They are responsible for their own lives – how they dress, where they work, how they live, etc.
- Finally, stop doing what isn’t working. If you’ve been working toward a particular goal and don’t seem to be gaining on it whatsoever, it’s time for Plan B because Plan A is belly up. You can either keep wasting time and hope it suddenly flips over and miraculously starts working, or you can abandon what doesn’t work and find something that does.
Sometimes we have to STOP doing things in order to START doing things. The negatives just weigh the positives down, so ditch them on the asap.
* P.S. Click HERE to see what we can all learn from dogs!
