Posts tagged as:

goals

Unlocking Your Own Magic

by joi on March 5, 2009

in Fitness, Relationships, Self Help

Bernie - Before the Magic

“Not everything that is faced can be changed. But nothing can be changed until it is faced.”  – James Baldwin

During certain months of the year, I can tell you right where you’ll find me every Tuesday night: Most of my family and I will be enjoying healthy snacks, sitting in front of CBS’s The Biggest Loser. I absolutely, positively love this show. Are you kidding me? It doesnt’ get any better than seeing people overcome personal demons and find a way to make their dreams come true.

Every time someone hits a personal goal or “mark,” such as getting below 200 pounds (or 300 pounds), I find myself wiping tears of joy.

Something that contestants are asked early on (and often asked to repeat) is WHY they want to lose the weight and WHAT they have to gain by being healthier. The doctors, trainers, nutritionists – none of them – can make the magic happen without the individual realizing where they are and what they stand to gain by refusing to stay there.

The Magic Moment

The initial magic moment, in my opinion, isn’t when the contestant is chosen for the show. It’s not when they discover whether they have Jillian or Bob as their trainer. It certainly isn’t when they find out what color of t-shirt they’ll be wearing or when they learn how often they’ll be eating lunch at Subway from now on.

The initial magic moment is when they stand on the scales, on national television, after arriving at camp. When they have to face the numbers that hamburgers, fries, pop, fried chicken, and ice cream have tallied up. When a contestant see the numbers, and their face fills with shock, shame, or tears -my heart always breaks for them. Yet, I’ve seen the show often enough to know that just behind the tears is magic waiting to happen. Without that initial moment, the magic would never happen.

It’s like, right then, a magic wand is brought out of a box that’s been inside of a guarded, locked safe. The guard is ignorance and the lock is denial. The bad news is, they’re a potent, life robbing, effectual duo. The good news is, once you get past them? Magic. Happens.

Ignorance and denial don’t just pull guard duty for weight loss, unfortunately. They love to lock us out of the life we want and they work hard to do so.

The Difference Between Ignorance and Denial

Before anyone e-mails me nasty words that hurt my feelings, by ignorance I mean simply being unaware. If we don’t take a good, hard look at… for example…. our upper arms, we’ll never fully know if they’re jiggly or toned. (And would every female in the country like to join me in thanking our gorgeous, gorgeous first lady for getting the emphasis on arms?! I didn’t sign up for this – that is, my arms didn’t sign up for this! Someone needs some dumbbells. If she can lift them into the cart.) If we never stand before a mirror in a shirtless top, we’ll never know the state of emergency that our arms are in!

That’s ignorance. Blissful ignorance.

However, if we know full well that our arms are the stuff nightmares are made of and simply choose to wear long sleeved tops and never allow them to see the light of day, we’re in denial. We aren’t facing the truth – because, frankly, the truth is ugly. And jiggly.

Making Your Own Magic

Think for a minute about the things ignorance and denial may have locked away from you. There may be some amazing, incredible, life-changing goodies completely within your reach and power! The body you’ve always wanted to dress, the home you’ve always wanted to kick around in, the car you’ve always wanted to drive, the relationships you’ve always wanted to enjoy… The you you’ve always dreamed of being.

When you read the paragraph above, one or two things probably made your heart stand still. Whether it was the thought of sweeter relationships, the goal of great furniture for your home, or if (like me) you’re still thinking about Michelle Obama’s arms – there’s something that, in your heart of hearts, you know you want desperately.

That’s not the hard part. We’re all pretty good at identifying what we want, aren’t we. I exercise those muscles every time I go to the mall.

However, wanting isn’t going to budge ignorance or denial one bit. They stand there laughing at our wants – taunting us, even.

The deal breaker is this: We have to figure out why we don’t already have what we want! For example, my husband is freaking good at his job. He has a fantastic reputation in his field for being the best. He has it because he has worked for it and worked hard. He wanted to be the best, so he didn’t rest until he was.

I am, if I can say so, a very good cook. I honestly had rather eat my own cooking than anyone else’s. It has always been extremely important to me, so it’s something I work hard for and take pride in.

If we have something (whether it’s a Grand Cherokee or a trait), it’s probably because we worked for it. If we don’t have something, it’s probably because we either haven’t figured out how to get it or we’re too lazy to work for it. Either way, no one’s going to do it for us. We have to take a good, long look inward and identify what it is we want. Then we have to ask ourselves, “Why do I not already have this?”

Hello, Magic Moment….

Bernie After the Magic!

So Nice to Meet You!

The Only Way to Reach Our Goals is To Keep Moving !

by joi on August 4, 2008

in Fitness, General, Self Help

Why in the world do we often fall prey to the same demons time and time again?! I mean, once we gain a little ground on them, wouldn’t you think we’d never go back?  Don’t reasonable people learn from their mistakes and never make the same one ever again.

Absolutely.  In Fairy Tales.

The problem is, we’re all predisposed to certain pitfalls of life.  Some people are wired to have outrageous mood swings.  They can be laughing and joking one minute and angrily searching out a confrontation the next.  Others (*Who, Me?*) are careless and footloose with money, then stare in wide-eyed wonder at the cobwebs in their piggy bank.

Some people procrastinate, seemingly for a living.  They’re so good at putting things off that it’s a wonder they manage to get anything done.  Their opposites are just as amusing, they are so hyper-busy, I’m convinced that they don’t actually fall asleep at night.  I think their family gets annoyed with them and knocks them out.

The bottom line:   All of the bad traits in the world have multiple owners and we have the title to at least two of them. 

I can accept that.  I’ve come to expect my bad traits and habits to make themselves known on a daily basis.  It’s a game we’ve played for many years.  Keeps life interesting, I guess.  But what I absolutely can’t stand is when these traits get the better of me and I trip over them – falling into a pit…  A pit that’s all too familiar to me.  I know I’ve been there before, I see pink fuzz on the ground from my houseshoes and, what’s that I smell?  Coffee?  Oh, yeah, I’ve been here before.

We (Notice how I pulled you into the pit with me? – Oh, come on, I’ll share my coffee…)  keep doing the same things we’ve been doing, expecting the outcome to be different this time.  Someone once said that was “crazy” and this would be me not exactly disagreeing.

Back in January, I started walking more and eating smarter.  I wanted to lose some weight that I’m not entirely happy with.  January through April went smoothly and the pounds were really dropping.  When I went to the doctor in April for my annual poking and prodding, my doctor even noticed the difference. I saw my goal weight in sight, so close I could touch it.

I was flying high!

Today, not so much.  I noticed this morning that the pounds I had lost (every single one) had come back over May,  June and July.  Granted, I’ve had an unreal amount of work to do online and I haven’t been keeping as close an eye on my eating as I had been, but still – my jaw hit the floor… more accurately the hateful scale.  Hateful, cursed, cold demon.  Who’d have thought long days sitting at a computer without daily walks - combined with endless glasses of sweet tea, homemade cookies, and ice cream cones would cause this?  Go figure.

So, it’s back to step #1.  Time to start all over again. 

Hopefully, this total and complete disappointment will have taught me a lesson.  We can’t just expect things to happen in life just because we want them to.  If we aren’t proactively pursuing our goals, we aren’t going to gain on them.  And if we let our guard down for just one second…. we’re done.

I don’t particularly like shining a spotlight on my weaknesses.  After all, it kind of goes against the stereotypical, average blogger, right?  Most people online lead you to believe they’re so close to perfection that you should pay them just to speak to them.  Actually, some are looking for ways to charge you just for saying their name.  They photoshop their lives along with their pictures.

I’m not interested in coming across as perfect (ha, that just made me laugh – me, perfect – ha, there I laughed again).  I’m interested in one thing.  Helping people, with my humble efforts, to find the best in themselves and, thereby, getting the most from life.  Which is why I’m writing this post.  I’m giving you what I wish I’d given myself a few months ago.

If you have goals you are working toward, stop for a minute and ask yourself if you’re still fighting for what you want or if you’re on the verge of a “break” – take it from me, these breaks will break you.  Never stop - heck, don’t even slow down.  If you think you’re doing “all you can” to reach your goal, dig down and give it more.

If, like me, you’re closer to broke than breaking – keep your chin up. Very often in life, it takes that one final discouragement to get our attention and spur us on to success.  How many people do we read about who find their financial success after bankruptcy? 

Wherever you are on the road that leads to your goal, don’t stop chugging along.  In fact, pick up the pace!  If you’ve fallen, get up.  If you’re walking, run.  If you’re running… look out, I’m coming!