Posts tagged as:

Making a difference

Fifty Dollar Haircuts on Fifty Cent Heads

by joi on June 17, 2009

in General, Helping Children, Must Reads

“Beauty isn’t worth thinking about; what’s important is your mind. You don’t want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head.” - Garrison Keillor

Girl Chewing Gum.Ever stop to think about the emphasis that looks are given in our society? Young people give their appearance more attention than ever. In fact, a lot of them spend hours primping and preparing for their self-directed photoshoot, then take tons of pictures of themselves for social websites.

During the years when they should be cultivating their relationships, their mind, their conversational skills, their education, and so forth, they’re spending the most time finding their most flattering angles and poses.  Then, of course, they have to take the pictures to photoshop to make them all the more flattering. When all else fails, make that picture black and white.

Then, it’s to the presses! They publish the pics on their favorite social websites with a pleading “Say something about me!”

Of course they have to caption the picture themselves – which usually brings gems such as, “I’m just so silly.” or “Wow. I look drunk LOL!”

What a LOOK AT ME world!

Ever stop to wonder what the future will be like for the MySpace generation if they don’t start giving their “insides” as much attention as they give their “outsides?”  THAT picture isn’t quite as pretty.

If you’re blessed enough to have young people in your life, you know darn well that you can’t just talk to them about this. You have to outsmart them. Fortunately, if you catch them in photoshop, they’ll be so distracted, your odds will be extraordinary.

Your main goal is to get the young person away from the shallow end of the ME pool and coax her or him into deeper waters.

  • Talk to her about what she wants to do with her life. Feed her interest, whether or not it’s YOUR first choice or not.  Whatever interests her should interest you – buy her books, cut out newspaper articles for her (and of course, read them yourself), talk with her, find websites and television documentaries that focus on her interest, etc.  Tell her that you’re proud of her for having goals and aspirations.
  • Don’t criticize and condemn. Kids need their parents approval more than anything. Just because your son  seems like a cocky little devil doesn’t mean he doesn’t absolutely crave your approval.
  • Compliment your daughter or son’s personality and sense of humor. Let them know that they crack you up and that you love their company. Let them know that there is so much more to them than how they look.
  • Make your child feel smart. Don’t ridicule and make fun of things they say and do.  Whether or not you realize it, this makes them feel dumb.  If they feel like they aren’t “smart enough,” they’ll only look for ways to get the approval they crave.  If they don’t get attention and approval from you, rest assured they’ll get it somewhere else.
  • Show your child the different “needs” in the world. Hand them a copy of  “One Can Make a Difference” and challenge them to find a way to make their  own difference.  Get them away from themselves – for their own good.

Finally, realize that a certain amount of social networking is perfectly normal.  Young people (and even not so young people) are having a blast with it.  It’s downright invigorating to talk to people from around the country and even around the world.   Sharing interests, learning about  different cultures, and so forth – great stuff.  But, come on, when all you have to offer them is,  “My eyes look kind of green in this picture, don’t they?  Well, they’re really brown.  Deep, dark brown… ” – you’d be better off sitting alone admiring your own eyes.

Wow.  What a life well-spent that’d be.

Naturally, we adults aren’t immune to this sort of thing either.  We’d do well to follow our own advice, wouldn’t we?  When we find ourselves on social sites with the attitude of “Look at me!” or “Listen to me!” – we’d do the world a huge favor if we examined our intent and our motivations.  Are they purely selfish, to the tune of simply wanting people to hear us because they happen to have something you want (as in money) or because we want desperately to climb a social ladder and each follower or “convert” represents another step on the ladder?

Or are we genuinely trying to help other people – whether it’s teaching them things we happen to know or motivating and inspiring them to bring out the best in themselves.  Everyone has certain gifts and talents – and if you spend your days using yours to help others I’ve got two words for you:  You’re cool.

We should all frequently step away from ourselves and see the needs in the world. If we can help anyone or anything, even in the smallest way, wouldn’t it be selfish not to? I have no more interest in Fifty Dollar Jackets Covering Fifty Cent Hearts than I do Fifty Dollar Haircuts on Fifty Cent Heads.

One Can Make a Difference: How You Can BE the Change You Want to See in the World

by joi on August 2, 2008

in Animal Protection, Book Reviews, Books I Love, Conservation

One Can Make a Difference by Ingrid E. NewkirkI recently finished reading the book you see to the left.  It may sound flowery (fortunately I love flowers, so that won’t slow me down) - but I believe this book will, in some way, touch every single one of my tomorrows.  I’d love to see millions of tomorrows similarly touched, because I believe the result would be a better world for everyone and everything.

So, you find yourself on the fringe of a post telling you why you HAVE to read this book.

One Can Make a Difference: Original stories by the Dali Lama, Paul McCartney, Willie Nelson, Dennis Kucinch, Russel Simmons, Bridgitte Bardot, Martina … Dozens of Other Extraordinary Individuals is a remarkable book, filled with information, inspiration, and motivation.  In its pages, you’ll read about real life heroes and heroines.  People who weren’t born remarkable, but through determination and compassion did their part in changing the world.  People just like you and me!

A Few of the Stories That Touched Me the Most:

  • Carol Buckley cofounded The Elephant Sanctuary in 1995.  The acres and acres of land in Tennessee are home to elephants who had been in circuses or zoos.  Elephants.com has pictures of these beautiful elephants, as well as a web cam, a gift shop, opportunities for support, and addictively interesting stories about each of the elephants - with pictures to help you fall even more in love with each.   In One Can Make a Difference, Carol Buckley tells about one of her elephants that loved to make Orange Juice.  She also details the very special elephant that led to this amazing sanctuary.
  • Kevin Bacon tells how, at first, he didn’t know what to think about the game Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon.  When he realized that it was, in fact, flattering to have a game named after you, he realized something else:  With a heart full of genuine care for the world around him, he wanted very much to do his part to make a difference.  Thanks to this game, he now had an “angle” or as he calls it a “brand,” to launch a charitable organization and website called Six Degrees.org.  This very talented actor and family man details how this all came about.
  • Reverend Al Sharpton’s essay was also fascinating.  I especially loved his words of motivation:  The only person you ever have to conquer in life is not your enemy, it’s yourself.  And once you conquer yourself, your ego, your vanity, your misplaced overestimation – once you conquer yourself, then you can fight for a higher purpose and conquer what it is you’re supposed to conquer and realize that’s what your purpose is. 

We define success by what we have, not by what we did.  But the only success in life is what you did.  Because whatever you have, you could lose, and whatever you have, somebody else could have more.  But nobody can take from you what you did. – Al Sharpton

  • Rebecca Hosking tells of the unbelievable impact plastic has on the environment.  I read her essay twice to make sure I was getting the full impact.  PlanetArk.com helps educate people about keeping our environment healthy, clean, beautiful and, frankly, about what we can to do keep from turning our earth into one big giant dump.
  • Oliver Stone’s essay was another one that was spellbinding.  He, like every single essayist in the book, had me putting pen to paper - I put the words onto paper as they put the words in my heart.  Oliver Stone tells how he has been led by ghosts, how they encourage him to make a difference.  Interestingly enough, he was also one of the first people to sign a petition asking NASA to stop sending monkeys into space. 
  • Petra Nemcova tells of her horrible ordeal after the tsunami struck Thailand (she lost the love of her life and suffered a broken pelvis).  The experience made her better rather than bitter and a lot of LOVE, literally came from the devastation.  She now focuses her life on helping children who have suffered loss and pain from hardships all over the world.  She’s a classic example of being as beautiful inside as she is outside – and that’s saying something in her case!
  • Martina Navratilova talks about fair play, Russell Simmons talks about respect, and Willie Nelson addresses the subject of self-reliance.

There are far too many individuals and even more subjects to even think about covering in one post.  I guarantee that they’ll be mentioned in future posts, however.  Their stories have become a part of me.  I’ve always fancied myself one of the overly zealous “We can change the world” crowd… but now?   I think I might just be dangerous!

One Final Thought:

It’s wrong that, very often, people who are trying to make the world a better place are looked upon as eccentrics.  Believing (rightfully so!) that helpless animals shouldn’t be abused doesn’t make an individual crazy, it makes them compassionate.  The author of the book, Ingrid E. Newkirk, is also the founder and president of PETA.  So, she knows a thing or two about controversy. 

I admit that when people are on the front lines doing battle for what they believe in, they sometimes seem to go “too far.”  But I’d rather they go too far than to not go at all!   The next time a PETA ad generates a snicker or two, challenge yourself to think about all of the animals that have been saved because of this organization.. Of all the needless suffering and pain PETA has brought to an end.  If your own pet were being abused, wouldn’t you want PETA to ride in to its rescue?  I certainly would!

This book is one of the best books you’ll ever read.  So what are you waiting for?!  Order it today and, within a week, you will have opened a whole new world! 

One Can Make a Difference: Original stories by the Dali Lama, Paul McCartney, Willie Nelson, Dennis Kucinch, Russel Simmons, Bridgitte Bardot, Martina … Dozens of Other Extraordinary Individuals

 

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