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self help tips

Road Rules by Andrew J. Sherman

Earlier this month, my husband’s car hit an oily patch in the road, so it decided to dive into a deep ditch.  Car, totaled.  Husband, sore. Wife, completely shaken.

I didn’t think January 2009 and I were going to get along.  However, things have picked up considerably.

The inauguration has left me, and the country I love so much, hopeful and proud.  It seems to me that everyone’s walking a little taller and daring to hope with a few less reservations.  Irregardless of which party you’re aligned with or which wonderful man you voted for, that’s a beautiful thing.

I’ve also seen what proved to be one of my favorite movies ever (Gran Torino).  Given the fact that Clint Eastwood is one of my three favorite actors, ever, I’m especially thrilled.

Recently, the positive vibe continued in a very big, literary way, when I had the pleasure of reading a fantastic book, Road Rules: Be the Truck. Not the Squirrel. Learn the 12 Essential Rules for Navigating the Road of Life by Andrew J. Sherman.  This is an intelligent, incredibly well-written, humorous, motivating, and inspiring book.  If self improvement is high on your list, this should be the next book you read.

Many times, when I’m reading a book, a particular phrase or word will keep popping into my mind.  While reading Road Rules, the words/phrases were Stop! - Road Rules by Andrew J. Sherman“Brilliant!” and “Ooooh.”  Okay, so maybe Oooooh doesn’t qualify for a word or a phrase, but it certainly qualifies for this book.  I was struck, again and again, by the clever analogies author Andrew J. Sherman uses while comparing living to driving.

Trying to pick a favorite section of the book would be like trying to pick a favorite aspect of eating chocolate, but I do want to share one of the favorites.  In Chapter 3, Happiness is a Clear Windshield,  the author points out ways we become complacent – behind the wheel as well as in life.  He points out how this impedes our vision.  After giving maddening examples of how drivers allow their vision to be hindered (by not taking 10 extra minutes to clean their windshield, for example), he brings the subject, beautifully, into real life terms:

If you need to refill your metaphorical windshield wiper fluid, replace worn down wiper blades, or get your defogger to work properly, then be proactive and make it happen.  If you have the power to remove impediments to your vision, do so without delay.  Never, ever be complacent or reactive in accepting a clouded outlook when you have the ability to enjoy clear sight….

Our ability to thrive, perform, succeed and enjoy life relies on our ability to see things clearly, to make the right decisions and to have all of the information and perspectives available to make these decisions.  If we have the power to remove the impediments to our vision, we should do so with gumption and without delay.

About the Author

Andrew J. Sherman is a world recognized public speaker and author. He has been an adjunct professor at the University of Maryland’s Smith School of Business for over 20 years. He has been quoted as a thought leader in No Parking - Road Rules by Andrew J. Shermancountless publications, including the Wall Street Journal, USA Today, and the Washington Post. He has appeared on numerous television shows such as CNN an CNBC as well as many radio shows.

Andrew J. Sherman has authored 17 books on business strategy, business growth, and strategic planning. His fans (and I’m a card waving member) are hoping to see a Road Rules for Business in the near future.

Oh, yeah, did I mention that in 2002, Fortune Magazine named Andrew J. Sherman as one of the Top Ten Minds in the nation? More Books by Andrew J. Sherman

The following is from Road Rules, by Andrew Sherman (published by Elevate). †Copyright 2008 by Andrew J. Sherman.  †Reprinted with permission of the author.

PREFACE

For most of us, our daily commute or a drive to the mall is not a particularly enlightening experience. We are more likely to suffer from boredom, road rage, frustration, or even a fender bender than we are to embrace life’s most meaningful lessons. But what if I told you that virtually everything you needed to know about navigating the road of life could be learned during a routine errand run, behind the comfort of your steering wheel?
So many of our core life lessons are reinforced by the simple act of driving a vehicle:

  • when to speed up and when to slow down
  • when to yield and when to come to a complete stop
  • when to add gas and when to add oil
  • when to allow another to pass you by and when to make your move
  • when to proceed with caution because children are playing or there is construction ahead
  • when to give your keys to a friend to avoid driving under the influence of drugs or alcohol
  • when and how to communicate when it is not clear who has the right of way

The lessons that we learn on the road that get us to our destination are in Yield! - Road Rules by Andrew J. Shermanfact the same lessons that we need to understand to achieve our goals in life. The rules that we must follow to maintain our driver’s licenses—our privilege of sharing the road with others—are the same rules we need to embrace to lead an enlightened and productive life.
Road Rules was written to provide insights into the process of transforming what we know to be the best practices and habits of safe and purposeful driving into living a meaningful and goal-driven life. A life that is devoted to helping others, helping ourselves, and achieving financial and wealth goals.
Crossroad - Road Rules by Andrew J. ShermanIt is my hope that this collection of insights and stories will help you navigate through life’s challenges, roadblocks, twists and turns, steep declines, and upward opportunities. My goal is to help you look at things just a bit differently and to solve problems just a bit more creatively.

Sometimes adjusting the compass dial only a few degrees in one direction or another can put you on a much more efficient path and be the key to survival and prosperity.
Think back to your first driving lesson. You take your place behind the wheel, learning the critical difference of when to accelerate and when to brake. You learn how to drive on a straight and focused path and the Wrong Way - Road Rules by Andrew J. Shermanimportance of taking into account the actions of others around you. The excitement of hearing the engine for the first time when you start the car is offset only by the nervousness of wanting to avoid hitting something or someone, which will surely cause damage.

So many aspects of the basic steps in driving a vehicle also parallel many of life’s more critical lessons—which are all wrapped up in an activity that most Look! - Road Rules by Andrew J. Shermanof us take for granted and without giving it a second thought. We seem to have lost sight of our ability to find joy and excitement from the simple act of driving. You are traveling just inches above the road at 65 mph on an open stretch of road on a beautiful day! Let’s learn to reconnect with the happiness to be found in the simple things in life that make our quest for the more complex easier to handle.

From ROAD RULES by Andrew J. Sherman (published by Elevate). †Copyright 2008 by Andrew J. Sherman. †Reprinted with permission of the author.

Buy this extremely important, profound, humorous, and wonderful book on Amazon: Road Rules: Be the Truck. Not the Squirrel. Learn the 12 Essential Rules for Navigating the Road of Life – if, that is, you want more from life.

Laugh IS the Best Medicine

One of my favorite sayings, and one that I suppose would be my third motto (in addition to Give me coffee and Give me chocolate) is “Live, Love, and Laugh.” To me, these three words just say it all. I just don’t see any way to have one of them without the other two, and if you could – why would you want to?

Laughter is one of those things that makes you feel good from the top of your head to the bottom of your feet. When you’re in the middle of a great laugh, nothing else matters in the world. That’s what makes it such a mentally healthy thing to do. It’s the best way to keep worries and anxieties at arm’s length. It’s puzzling to me, but some people just don’t seem to know how to laugh and have fun with life. They’re far too serious and far too critical. I’d get ticked at them, but I kind of feel sorry for them.

Each day, look for things to laugh about. Turn on an Andy Griffith, Sanford and Son, or I Love Lucy rerun. Pop in a Friends dvd. Look for Dane Cook or Bill Cosby on YouTube. Loosen up and Laugh! Not only will your family, friends and co-workers enjoy your company more – you’ll feel better, live longer, and be oh so much happier.

Hang Out With Your Elders

In Part 1, we talked about hanging out with young people. (I guarantee, they’ll keep you young at heart and in mind.) Now, it’s time for the flip side. We should do ourselves a world of good by enjoying the company of older people as well. They’re precious, too! They have so much wisdom and wit to share with us, if we just slow down and take the time to allow them to do so. We think we have all the answers, don’t we? Heck, we don’t even know all of the questions!

If you have older family members or friends, ask their advice and seek out their knowledge. They’ve been around longer, seen more, and experienced more. Chances are they have a lot they could teach us and would feel overjoyed to do just that.

Don’t Worry, Be Proactive

It would be easy to say, “Don’t ever worry,” but that’s pretty close to nonesense. Sometimes we’re going to worry! If it’s a really, really stormy evening and one of my daughters was due home over an hour ago but is nowhere in sight, I’m not going to be doing cartwheels in the front yard. Worry will have crept into my heart and onto my face – I don’t have any problem admitting that. The key is, when we feel a good old case of worry (or the frets) coming on – we need to take action. In the scenario above, the unhealthy thing to do would be to sit and stare at the driveway. The healthier approach would be to call the daughter in question and find out where she is and if she needs to pull over. This is also where I’d tell her that her dad could come get her (after all, he’d have his shoes on and keys in his hand at this point).

We need to address that which worries us face to face – you know, see what it has to say for itself. Many times, we’ll find that its bark is worse than its bite. Other times, we’ll find that some sort of action is called for on our end. Then we know what we have to do… act!

Drink More Water

Okay, I have a problem with this one. Water? Are you kidding me? Not when there’s Diet Dr. Pepper, tea, and (what’s that other beverage called??) coffee! My husband forwarded me an article the other day that gave a great idea, though. It said that if you didn’t care for water (guilty), you should sweeten it with Stevia, a natural sweetener, and add some frozen blueberries or raspberries. I thought that was a delicious idea and I honestly plan to try it.

Drink More Tea

Antioxidants, antioxidants, antioxidants. If you aren’t a big tea drinker, become one! Experiment with green tea, white tea, black tea, Rooibos tea. The benefits of drinking tea are simply far too reaching for me to list all in one post, so to read more, visit Tea USA. The page I’ve linked you to goes right to an article about the health benefits of tea.

For more on eating healthy, click HERE.

Stress As you probably know, I work from home. For over 12 years, my sole job was homeschooling and raising our three daughters. It didn’t pay, monetarily – it paid much better than that. The transition to working in a homebased web publishing and web design business proved a little tough at first. Truth be told, it can still be hard to discipline myself to sit at my desk and work when there are so many other cool things I could be doing!

However, I soon realized a corelation between how many hours I put in and how much money I have for “extras” in life. I do ever so love extras, so I’ve gotten pretty good at logging in the necessary hours. Plus, it helps that I absolutely love to write, research, and build blogs, websites, and even better – online relationships.

However, a few months ago, around 3′ish, I got up from my “work time” to head into the kitchen and begin supper. I didn’t feel satisfied like I usually did – you know, the feeling you get after putting in a good, honest day’s work. Actually, I felt overwhelmed and mentally fatigued. All I could think about was the correspondence I didn’t get done, the links I didn’t have time to add, blog plugins that were being hateful, etc.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t a one day thing. I noticed that I started feeling this way just about every single day. Also, instead of being eager to turn the computer on, round up my coffee, information, books, and so forth – I started walking past the computer and kind of snarling at it. One day, it was acting up and I thought something was horribly wrong with it – the smile faded when it responded to a reboot.

I think it was evening the score for the snarls.

I knew that something wasn’t quite right because I normally race, coffee cup in hand, to get my day started. I answer my e-mail, update sites that need to be updated, write my reviews, compose my posts and articles, make graphics, install plugins, read and research, etc – all with a big smile on my face and a fat cat on my desk.

I had a heart to heart with myself – not out loud, of course, the kids worry when I do that. I came to suspect that I’d overextended myself. I sat down with my to do lists for the past week and realized that I was trying to do WAY too much. I looked at the front of my planner and saw that I, at that time, had a total of 16 blogs and 22 websites. All of that on top of being mom, wife, cook, homemaker, and someone who vaguely remembered how fun past times were.

The very next day, I started weeding through my websites and blogs. I asked myself, “Which of these would I be devastated if they were gone tomorrow?” I realized that there were quite a few that, when I got to them on the list, I would answer, “Eh” or “I’d never miss it.” So, when tomorrow came, they were indeed gone. I got rid of 5 blogs and even more websites. They had come to “cost” me more than they “rewarded” me.

Almost immediately, the old feelings of enthusiasm returned – before and after the work day. My computer and I became kindred spirits again. The feelings of being overwhelmed and stretched like a rubber band went away.

Sometimes making small, seemingly insignificant moves can alleviate stress in surprising ways.

If you’re feeling stressed in any way, take a good, close look at your life. What areas are causing you stress? Find ways to alleviate any stress you can – remember, every little move helps.

  • Is your workload too heavy?  If it is, lightening it will actually work out better in the long run.  Being able to give MORE of yourself to FEWER projects results in better projects and a better you.
  • Do you worry too much about others? Even if it’s your own children, try to make yourself realize that they will make mistakes, just as you have done.  What’s more, they’ll survive and learn from them, just as you have.
  • Is your house causing you a never-ending battle?  Recruit help from other family members – don’t nag, that never looks attractive – just point out that you’re so busy lately that you’d appreciate it greatly if they’d help you out some.  Then, when they do, praise their socks off!  If you want results, you’ll get more with honey than with horseradish.
  • Try to set aside a little time each evening to just enjoy life.  Take a few hours and do something that others might call “wasting time.”  I love to kick back and watch tv with my youngest daughter.  It’s great to spend time with her and it’s a nice experience to just do nothing.  If your first reaction is, “I can’t take 2 hours to just do nothing, I have to do this and I have to do that…” – then I have to tell you, you’re heading (and speeding to get there) for trouble.  If you don’t have the signs of being stressed, overwhelmed, overworked, or tempermental yet – they’re just around the corner.  Hopefully, you’ll change your course before that corner arrives.

It’s funny, isn’t it, that so many people think they can’t slow down.  They seem to equate being busy as treading water and fear that if they slow down, they’ll go under. 

In actuality, they’ll find that they have more time to swim.

Oddly enough, I think part of the problem lies within this quote about computers, “No matter how fast your computer system runs, you will eventually come to think of it as slow.” Our generation has become so accustomed to fast forward and has gotten so used to dancing to the “Git ‘r done” tune that many of us see slowing down as standing still. Needless to say, we need to adjust that thinking before it’s too late.

We’d hate to have that realization hit us one day with one arm in a blood pressure cup as the other gestures in a how-did-this-happen motion. It’d be even worse, in my opinion, to have it dawn on us one day when our child is reliving his or her childhood and we realize that we’d missed a big chunk of the scenery.

The time to slow down is today. Tomorrow will be brighter because of it.