Relationships. Seems like a pretty loaded word, doesn’t it? I mean, who’d want their significant other to say, “Let’s sit down, I want to discuss our relationship.” Come to think of it, who’d want anyone – significant or otherwise – to take a magnifying glass to the R-word?
Yet it’s something that we all think about from time to time – how our relationships are going, how they could be better, what we’re doing right, what we’re doing wrong, etc. Maybe I should say we should think about what we’re doing right or wrong. But, hey, we’re human, we’d much rather think about what we’re doing right and the other guy or gal is doing wrong. It’s a lot easier to sleep at night when you know you’re perfect. But enough about me.
I’ll just go ahead and preface the next paragraph by saying that I’ll be oversimplifying. Big. But, sometimes the best way to look at things is through the long lens….gives you a great, overall picture.
Having said that, my philosophy on Relationships is completely simple and absolutely Golden. There are as many different types of relationships as there are people:
- Romantic
- Parent
- Child
- Sibling
- Grandchild
- Grandparent
- Boss
- Employee
- Daughter in Law
- Son in Law
- Friend
- Daughter’s Boyfriend
- Son’s Girlfriend
- God!
- Etc….
They all come down to one basic truth though: The best way to make a relationship work is to treat the other person the way you want to be treated. Yes, there are other layers to realtionships – thousands upon thousands of them. But these layers will be so much sweeter if you follow the Golden Rule. They’ll be nothing but one sour experience after the other if you don’t.
Sometimes I measure the amount of time my husband and I have been married through experiences rather than years. We married early and had three children when we weren’t much more than children, ourselves. We’ve lived in a total of 6 states, countless cities and too many apartments/houses to even count. We’ve encountered, within our families, just about every illness and tragedy known to man. We bought our dream house, we lost our dream house. He had numerous layoffs before landing in the career he’s flourishing in now. Financially – I remember a time when we had to look up to see the bottom.
But when I look back on all the hills and valleys, one thing was amazingly constant. Even in the middle of life’s hurricanes, our relationship was always strong. It’s always been filled with much more laughing than crying, and given some of the things we’ve seen – that’s a biggie. Sure, we argue, and of course there are times when we’ll face off – daring the other one to look away. Generally at times like that, I’ll crack up. I just can’t take him seriously when he acts like he knows more than I do. Honey, please.
I think the way we treat each other can be summed up with the Golden Rule – we treat one another the way we’d like to be treated.
The next time your wife gets a speeding ticket (Breath, Michael…I didn’t get another one…), think how you’d want her to react if you’d done the nasty to her herb bed with your weedeater.
When your daughter’s date shows up, smile and treat them the way you’d want to have been treated when you were the date. When you meet your son’s bride-to-be – look as closely for the good in her as you wanted his parents to look for yours. I know it won’t be as easy…but look anyway. Not for her, necessarily…but for him. And for your relationship. I remember when I first met Michael’s family, they honestly made me feel like I was the prettiest, smartest, coolest girl they’d ever met.
It simply doesn’t matter what relationship you have…or with whom…. you’ll only get out of it what you’re willing to put into it. Treat them like they’re nothing but a walking mat and they’ll treat you like you’re nothing more than a pair of smelly shoes.
A relationship where both aren’t giving as good as they get is like getting a kiss with one lip. Pfffft. So, while it might not be entirely pleasant, the next time you aren’t 100 percent happy with one of your relationships, ask if you’re treating them like you’d want to be treated. Is the way you talk about them when they aren’t around the way you’d want to be talked about? Is the tone you take with them the tone you’d want taken with you? Do you make them feel special or like they could never live up to your expectations if they had 3 lifetimes?
Now go out there and make your relationships golden!
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Great advice. I like to take the Golden Rule to another level. I find that in relationships the platinum rule works even better. The Platinum Rule says treat others as they want to be treated. See the flaw of the Golden Rule is that how we want to be treated may be very different then how the other person wants to be treated.
Great point, Mark! And by great point, I mean TRULY great point! – Joi
Excellent post, Joi!
Thanks, Grayson!