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You are here: Home / 2009 / Archives for April 2009

Archives for April 2009

Coping with Symptoms of Menopause, From Both Sides of the Fence

April 28, 2009 by Joi 5 Comments

I added a contact form to Self Help Daily, similar to one I use on my other web sites. I use these contact forms to give my beloved visitors the opportunity to tell me what sort of subjects they’re interested in reading about.

After all, I want to gear my content toward what interests you, not gear you toward what interests me!

One of my first responses was from a woman (or husband?!?!) who wanted “desperately” to know if I knew of any herbs or natural remedies for menopause-related symptoms. Apparently the victim can’t even drink her morning coffee because her night sweats and hot flashes are so bothersome.

Can’t drink morning coffee?!?! I knew right away we were dealing with an emergency. I truly… I just… no, I can’t even imagine.  Since this did rank as an emergency, I e-mailed her/him right away with the most important advice:

  1. Iced Coffee is equally delicious.
  2. Just as much caffeine rides into town on a cold horse as it does on a hot one.

Here’s what I’ve been able to find out about menopause-related symptoms:

Hormone replacement therapy, or HRT, was once the standard treatment for women suffering from menopause-related discomforts. However, its use has been drastically reduced because of concerns over serious side effects. A lot of people, like this particular coffee-deprived visitor, are looking for alternative treatments for easing menopause-related symptoms. (On a side note, I know “menopause-related symptoms” sounds wordy and I apologize, but sometimes I get hung up on grammar and I wrestle with words the way Jacob wrestled with the angel. When I type in menopausal symptoms, I don’t like the way it sounds – it seems as though the symptoms, themselves, are dealing with night sweats, mood swings, weight fluctuations, etc.)

There are herbal remedies that many menopausal and pre-menopausal women use, and swear by, to counter their discomforts. As with any herb, keep in mind that these herbs are medicinal and should be used with caution.

  • Black Cohosh. Apparently this herb is the most popular among menopausal women. The root of this plant contains phytoestrogens, which actually imitate the body’s own estrogen. Many studies have found it to be both safe and effective. According to the North American Menopause Society, black cohosh may be helpful in easing hot flashes, night sweats, and vaginal dryness, although its effects are usually short term (about six months or so). Take note, however: If you take a prescription medication for high blood pressure, check with your doctor because black cohosh may interact with it.
  • Dong Quai. The root of Dong Quai also contains phytoestrogens. Dong Quai is often used to relieve menstrual complaints and PMS, but it is often included with other herbs, including black cohosh, ginseng, and chasteberry in products that help alleviate menopausal symptoms such as hot flashes.
  • Flaxseed. Research from none other than Mayo Clinic shows that flaxseed may reduce hot flashes in menopausal women. Some studies even suggest that flaxseed may lower a woman’s risk of breast cancer. Mayo Clinic researchers found that eating two tablespoons of ground flaxseed twice a day can cut the intensity of hot flashes by 57 percent. Flaxseed oil is another option. I can’t vouch for the flavor, but from what I’ve read, many people add ground flaxseed to oatmeal, salads, and even sandwiches. It sounds like it’s worth a try, right?

Dealing With Hot Flashes

According to Harvard Health Publications, a woman should watch out for certain “triggers.”

Some possible triggers of hot flashes are hot beverages, spicy food, warm air temperatures, stressful situations, alcohol, caffeine, and some medications. If you can identify your own triggers, you may be able to avoid some hot flashes. Keep a diary to note which of these or other triggers were present before each hot flash. Review it each week to pinpoint the most common triggers.

During the day, dress in layers so that you can take off garments when needed. If possible, regulate the air conditioning and heat in your environment to accommodate your temperature changes. If you wake up hot at night, sleep in a cool room. Go to bed with a frozen cold pack under your pillow, and turn the pillow over when you wake up. Keep a change of nightclothes next to your bed so that you can change easily if you wake up soaked.

Some women find deep-breathing exercises helpful. Research suggests that a technique called paced respiration can cut in half the frequency of hot flashes. To perform paced respiration, take slow, deep, full breaths expanding and contracting the abdomen gently while inhaling and exhaling at a rate of about six to eight breaths per minute. One of the best ways to learn paced respiration is by taking a yoga class. Practice this technique twice a day for 15 minutes. You can also use paced respiration whenever you feel a hot flash coming on. Stress-relief techniques and biofeedback may also be of some benefit.

Increasing the soy in your diet has been shown to be helpful in some but not all studies. Over-the-counter remedies that some women find helpful include preparations of black cohosh, sold under the brand name Remifemin. There are many other products containing plant estrogens (phytoestrogens), but many have not been scientifically evaluated for either safety or efficacy. Some women report that vitamin E is helpful, but compelling evidence to support this is lacking.

Dealing With Emotional Turmoil During Menopause

Although walking and physical fitness hasn’t been shown to help alleviate hot flashes, regular exercise does help with the anxiety, depression, and stress that menopause often carts into a woman’s life. Staying active is one of the best things she can do, even when it’s the last thing she wants to do!

“The level of anxiety, stress and depression were significantly lower among physically active, postmenopausal women compared to postmenopausal women in the lowest” level of physical activity, the researchers reported in the January issue of Medicine & Science in Sports & Exercise.

Exercise may not make the hot flashes go away, but at least it can help with the other baggage. Perhaps then, a menopausal woman will be able to cope with the hot flashes better. I sat across the table from a hot flash once and it was a terrifying thing. I was in my early 30’s, the flasher was in her 50’s, and she scared the wits out of me. She was like, “Is it as hot as he!! in here?” and I thought, “No, but it’s at least as scary.”

Which brings me to this: Be extra considerate and loving to a female suffering from menopause and pre-menopause. You may be viewing a meltdown, but she’s living it. Do extra-special things for her, things that’ll lift her spirits and reassure you that you love her as much today as you ever did – possibly more.

  1. Send her flowers at work.
  2. Send flowers to her at home.
  3. Take off early and ask her what she’d like done in the yard. Offer to plant a tree, build an herb garden, install bird feeders near her favorite window, set up a bird bath, or build a swing.
  4. Take her to a chick flick! (pssst, take extra tissues)
  5. Call her and tell her you’re on your way home from work and that you’re bringing pizza.
  6. Write her a love note.
  7. Two words: Starbucks Card. Okay, three words: Loaded Starbucks card.

A final word, if you love someone who is going through this ridiculous time, be as understanding, patient, and loving as you would be with an expectant mother. Neither can fully control what’s going on inside of them and, frankly, both are frightened more times than not.

Filed Under: Fitness, Health, Positive Thought

Winning Out Over Negative Thoughts Once and For All

April 24, 2009 by Joi 12 Comments

My beautiful baby, Alexa.

One of our spoiled rotten cats, Alexa (pictured above), loves bird watching almost as much as I do.  My husband fills the bird feeders and I set seed on the ground for the ground feeders, then Lexie and I get lost in the parade of doves, cardinals, robins, blue birds, blackbirds, etc.

Every now and then, a bird will land on the ledge of one of our dining room or kitchen windows.  Yesterday morning, the craziest thing happened.  I was at the dining room table on my laptop, sidetracked by a couple of the brightest cardinals in the world enjoying the seed on the ground.  Alexa was in another room, swatting around one of her leftover plastic eggs from Easter (I told you she was spoiled).

A dove landed on the ledge of the window directly in front of me and peered in.  He’d ruffle his feathers, pace back and forth, then peer in again.  He seemed to think his reflection was another bird and he was doing his best to impress (or scare) it.  I wasn’t sure which, but  I froze, wanting him to stick around – and hoped like crazy that Alexa didn’t arrive on the scene.  I knew she’d take a dive at the window and scare away my newest diversion from work.

After about the 9th pace, I heard Alexa let out her familiar “Where are you?!” meow and could tell that she was entering the dining room.  Just as I turned to look at her, she spied my little visitor and tried to make an all-in-one dive for the window.  I grabbed her and carried her into another room, offering to play a great game of swat the egg or chase the catnip-filled mouse.

She wanted none of it!  As soon as she thought I wasn’t paying attention, she tried to bolt for the dining room again.  Oddly enough, the bird was still at it, so I diverted Alexa’s attention again.  This time, I took her into another room and set her on the window sill of another favorite lookout.

She was content and by the time we returned to the dining room, the bird was gone.

I read a comment on this blog not long ago in which the individual was talking about thoughts and how hard it is to make negative thoughts stop.  As the commentator very rightly said, they often don’t go away just because we want them to.  Like extra weight, negative thoughts seem to have no particular place to go and all the time in the world to get there.

Sometimes our thoughts are like Alexa – BENT on going exactly where they have no business going.  Like her, left to their own devices, they’ll carry out their evil plan and never look back.

That’s where we have to step it!  We all know how negative thoughts can hinder us:

  • If we dwell on negative, self-defeating thoughts, they take the wind out of our sails and cause us to lose the game before it even begins.
  • If we dwell on negative thoughts about other people, we’ll be the ones missing out.  We’ll fail to see their wonderful traits and miss out on a great relationship, simply because we refuse to quit focusing on the negative.
  • If we keep looking back at past mistakes, we never really move away from them.  We keep carrying them around with us forever.
  • If  we keep thinking a negative thought over and over and over – make no mistake, it will come out of your mouth at some point, then it’ll be too late to do anything about it.
  • If we keep having negative, fearful thoughts – we’ll never enjoy life, we’ll always be too worried about what might happen or what could possibly happen.

Every negative thing done or said once began inside someone’s head.

Be sure to keep this in mind as well:  Negative thoughts often disguise themselves as concern.  They’ll try to convince you that you’re fixating on every single solitary thing your teenager does simply because you’re concerned for him.  While parental concern is as real as my love for animals, there’s something else that’s very real – The negative pit.  Once a parent falls into this pit (they don’t like what their child wears, the music they listen to, the people they hang out with, the job they choose, the classes they take..) – two things are certain:

  1. They will be far more miserable than their son or daughter – after all, they’re the ones in the stinking pit!
  2. The child will avoid them and refuse to discuss anything at all with them.  Why bother, they know what you’re going to say – they’re wrong, you wouldn’t have done it that way, they made a “dumb” decision, and… while you’re at it… why don’t they cut their hair?

The same is true for anyone, not just our kids.  If you allow yourself to flounder in a negativity pit, no one will want you around.  Negative people suck the life and energy out of a room and no one gets out of bed in the morning looking for that kind of action.

What about thoughts that only affect us?  This is where I believe most of us have problems.  We’ll often find ourselves doubting our abilities or selling ourselves short.  We’ll be smack in the middle of a job when the little voice says, “What do you think you’re doing?!  Who are you kidding, this is over your head.”   Then we recall past failures and begin to seriously doubt that we’re fit to do anything but tie our own shoes.

If these negative thoughts aren’t diverted, your success and happiness will be.

Whether you need to harnass your negative thoughts from polluting your own life or the life of someone else (as well as your own), the following are a few suggestions.

Just as I physically picked up Alexa and carried her to a different room, you have to mentally pick up your negative thoughts and carry them to a different place.  Simply saying that you don’t want to think a particular thought isn’t enough, you have to replace it with another one.

  • If you begin to doubt yourself in a particular area, bring to mind your strengths and past successes.  Write them down, so you’ll have them the next time negative thoughts come onto the scene.
  • If you keep having negative thoughts about a particular person, try to begin focusing on positive things about the person.  Thinking negative ones is simply a habit, create a new habit by focusing on the positive.
  • If you’re having a particularly troublesome day with negative thoughts – change the scenery.  Sometimes going for a walk, seeing a movie, going shopping, or just going for a frappuccino will do a world of good.
  • Get physical! No, I’m not giving you permission to punch a co-worker.  Get up and get that body moving.  Physical activity makes you feel better and may be just the “bouncer” you need for negative thoughts.
  • If you tend to be a worry wart, hold your thoughts accountable.  Ask yourself how many disasters you’ve actually witnessed!   We often expect the worse when, if fact, we’ve very rarely seen the worse.

Finally, if there is one particular negative though that you battle – here’s one approach.  Write it down on a piece of paper, crumble the paper up, and throw it away.  Tell yourself that that’s the last time you ever want to hear from it!

Granted, at first you may feel just a little ridiculous – but do you want to know how you’ll feel as the crumbled paper lands in the trash… where it belongs?

As free as a bird.

Filed Under: Must Reads, Positive Thought, Self Help Tagged With: negative thoughts, thought, thoughts

Green & Black’s Organic Chocolate Celebrates Earth Day

April 22, 2009 by Joi Leave a Comment

Green & Black's Organic Chocolate Candy Bars

Happy Earth Day! What a perfect time of the year to celebrate our beautiful planet and all that’s on it.  Before you know it, we’ll be celebrating something else – even more beautiful:  The love of and the love for mothers and wives. Oh, I’m there!

Green & Black’s Organic Chocolate – the chocolate that makes no compromises aka the chocolate that makes Joi wish she had two mouths – is offering some great ideas to observe both holidays.

Green & Black’s chocolates allow you to make eco-friendly choices while not compromising on life’s everyday indulgences. This is seriously, seriously delicious chocolate.

This year, in honor of Earth Day, Green & Black’s is offering a downloadable widget with daily tips on how to live green and black –respecting the earth while indulging in the best things it has to offer.

Some tips include:

  • While cooking for friends at your next dinner party, shop at your closest farmers’ market. Buying from local farms puts money back into your community, plus the produce will be fresher than items transported across the country.
  • On your next vacation, book a hotel that’s LEED-certified. The certification stands for Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design and is a national standard for builders looking to make a smaller impact on the environment.
  • Go to DineGreen.com to determine how eco-conscious your favorite restaurant is. The Green Restaurant Association offers various certification levels, based on criteria like whether a restaurant buys locally or composts its waste.

Green & Black’s offers 12 chocolate flavors ranging from light to dark chocolate. Traditional varieties include White, Milk, and Dark, while the more unique flavors are Maya Gold, Ginger, Espresso and new Toffee.  My favorites are White, Milk, and Toffee – but I’m wild about all of them.

If you would like more information about Green & Black’s or to download the widget please visit www.GreenandBlacks.com.

You can find Green & Blacks organic chocolate candy bars in many stores – I find mine in Target.   I find so many things in Target. The store gives me a red bullseye and I zero in on it every single time.  Many times the husband wishes my shopping aim wasn’t so spectacular.

Filed Under: General Tagged With: Green & Black's Organic Chocolate

Inspirational Quote of the Day

April 18, 2009 by Joi 1 Comment

Beautiful Kentucky

I hope that my achievements in life shall be these – that I will have fought for what was right and fair, that I will have risked for that which mattered, and that I will have given help to those who were in need, that I will have left the earth a better place for what I’ve done and who I’ve been. –  C. Hoppe

Filed Under: Daily Quote Tagged With: inspirational quote, motivational quotes

Self Improvement Advice From a Rocking Chair in North Carolina

April 15, 2009 by Joi Leave a Comment

Mountains

In a recent newsletter article, author Mary Southerland told about an experience she’d had several years ago. She was living in the mountains of North Carolina (a breathtakingly beautiful part of the country). One of her passions was old-world country stores and the gorgeous handmade “treasures” that filled them.

On one occasion, she was exploring some off roads in search of just such treasure and found herself on a dirt road.

She saw a bearded man sitting on the porch in a rocker with a pile of wooden logs by his side. By the porch railing she noticed a large collection of beautifully carved wooden dogs. The mountain artisan asked her to join him and to feel free to ask any questions.

As she tells it, she had only one, “How in the world do you carve these beautiful dogs out of those ordinary pieces of wood?”

His priceless response? “Well, Missy, it’s pretty simple. I just take me a piece of wood and cut away everything that doesn’t look like a dog.”

Hmph.  So I’ve been searching and pondering and pondering and searching for years to put my finger on the secret to self improvement and a man in the mountains of North Carolina knew the secret the entire time?

I can see it now. He’d be sitting across from me at my dining room table. I’d pour him a cup of coffee and give him a slice of Coconut Cake. Hopefully he wouldn’t mind cats, because I’m sure Alexa would be all over him. I’d take a long drink of coffee and ask him, “So, what do you think is the secret to self improvement? Which do you think is more important, positive affirmations, visualization, or motivational speakers? What’s your favorite self help book and who’s your favorite self help author? Have you ever heard of vision boards?  How do you feel about mood journals? — What? Oh, yes sir, God did give me the gift of gab. — What’s your favorite motivational quote? How do you feel about goal setting?”

Then, as he finished his Coconut Cake, he’d wipe his mouth and say, “Well, Missy, it’s pretty simple. I just take me a piece of wood and cut away everything that doesn’t look like a dog.”

I’d look at him the way my husband often looks at me, with question marks instead of pupils.  I’d start to remind him that this was his approach to making wooden dogs… but then it’d hit me between my question marks.  It’s also the way to making the life you want to make.

What if we took a look at our life and cut away everything that didn’t help us to become and be the person we wanted to be? The bad habits, the time-wasters, the worries, etc.  You know, the junk!  What if we carved away the unproductive and left only the productive?

I think we’d be left with our own little treasure.

Filed Under: Daily Quote, Positive Thought, Self Help Tagged With: Self Help, self help advice, self help teachings, self improvement, self improvement advice

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