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Archives for October 2009

Ever Thought of Trouble as a Friend? Oliver Wendell Holmes Says You Should

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You know all about the love affair I have with old books, or more to the point, authors of old books. There are few things I enjoy more than sitting around the table with men and women who are from another time. Although I can’t totally relate to period of time in which they lived, they have so much to teach me that I overlook the funny clothes – to say nothing of the hairstyles. To be fair, they must think I’m a sight, too.

I often post quotes, articles, and reflections from great authors of the past and I get a tremendous kick out of the response. There’s something remarkable about seeing an author’s teachings from the 1880’s being tweeted. Love it!

I have such a profound respect for the knowledge that these authors possess that I’m going to start a weekly tradition on Self Help Daily called, Thursday Throwback. Each Thursday, I will post a “guest article” from one of these authors. Why should their wonderful, rich knowledge lie in a dusty book in a dark basement? It should be brought out into the open and these amazing authors should be given an opportunity to educate, enlighten, and entertain generations of people who, like me, would look downright freaky to them. In spite of our looks, they’d want to reach out to us.

In my very small way, I’d love to give them this chance.

We’ll start with a great article by Isabel Leighton. Isabel Leighton was a journalist, actress, and writer. She began her career in the theater, appearing in several Broadway productions in the early 1920’s. In the 1930’s and 40’s she wrote for various magazines as well as for the North American Newspaper Alliance.

She also served as a naval correspondent in World War II. Can you imagine how fascinating it would have been to sit down and have a cup of coffee with this lady?

Below is an article Isabel Leighton wrote titled, “Meet Trouble as a Friend.”

MEET TROUBLE AS A FRIEND
by Isabel Leighton

“Trouble makes us one with every human being in the world.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes
A little more than twenty years ago I spent a treasured afternoon with Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes at his Beverly Farms home just north of Boston.  Lingering on the threshold as I took my leave, I asked if I might publish some of the typically rugged, earthy observations he had made during our tea together.
With a firmness that belied the gentle smile dancing at the corners of his mouth he replied, “In my more than ninety  years I have never allowed myself to be quoted, nor will I revise my pattern at this late date.  But write your interview,  child, and if, after twenty years from my going, anything I’ve said still seems to serve a useful purpose, it is yours to do with as you wish.”
During those hours, two decades ago, we spoke of many things:  the granite on which he built his home – and his life; the barberry bushes he never tired of seeing from his windows; the mystery stories he devoured; and, finally, more dismal matters.  Was he not deeply concerned, I asked, over the depression, threats of war and the lack of security in the world?  He shook his head indulgently.
“Oh, you young people, you think you’ve discovered trouble.  If you want to live without trouble, you’ll have to die young!  For if one thing’s sure, it’s that it’s always been with us and always will be.”
“Terrifying, you think?  Rubbish,” he chuckled, “it’s never fazed me.  Been almost grateful for it at times.  Makes us one with every human being in the world – and unless we touch others, we’re out of touch with life.  You might as well be dead as stop growing and if you’re unwilling to feel, yes, feel deeply, you’re only half alive.
“If I had a formula for bypassing trouble, I wouldn’t pass it around.  Wouldn’t be doing anybody a favor.  Trouble creates a capacity to handle it.  I don’t say embrace trouble.  That’s as bad as treating it as an enemy.  But I do say meet it as a friend, for you’ll see a lot of it and had better be on speaking terms with it.
“No, trouble isn’t the scourge of the world.  The world has its ups and downs.  So have people, and all the speechifying that breath can produce won’t change things or make the millennium come an hour sooner.  You can’t run away from trouble.”
He smiled now more benignly, “Accept it.  Don’t worry about it.  Have faith – and do the needful.”
************

Have faith and do the needful. In one sentence, Oliver Wendell Holmes gave a perfect example of why Thursday Throwback is long overdue.  Blunt, to the point, and powerful.
Mr. Holmes could have been quite the tweeter.   Stop #panicking. Have faith & do the needful.

Oh Those Little Things!

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Do the little things in life sometimes get the better of you?  Do you find yourself flying off the handle – all while thinking, “This really isn’t worth getting this upset about…?”

The little things will get the best of us if we aren’t careful. Click the link below to find a great quote that will help you put things into perspective.  Then, the next time you have to run out at 10:00 pm for toilet paper you’ll be good to go.

Keeping Small Issues Where They Belong

How About a Monday Pep Talk?

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Monday is the Key day of the week!

1. In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.

2. And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.

3. And God said , Let there be light: and there was light.

Make no mistake about it:  Everything has to start somewhere!

I’m sure I’ve written many times about my love of Mondays.  When you have a weird, against-the-grain fetish like that, you generally share it with others.  It’s like, “Look! Crackpot in the room!”  I’m okay with that.

Mondays, to me, are like tiny little New Year’s Days.  So much potential.  So many possibilities!

The coolest thing about Mondays is this: Last week is just that – last week. Monday marks a new week and a new beginning.  Things that you meant to do more often last week can be done more often this week.  Things that worked last week can be repeated this week.  The mistakes and missteps?  Leave them in the previous week and don’t go back for them.

If life were college (and the analogy fits), last week was your lesson.  This week is your test.  How much did you learn?!

As you embark on a new week, try to push yourself a little further each day.  If you normally operate at a level of 6, try 7 on for size.  If you normally compliment 2 people a day, crank the number up to 8.  If you haven’t brought your wife a Chai Tea home from Starbucks in a couple of weeks, surprise her with a Venti.  The closet, garage, or kitchen drawer you’ve been meaning to clean out.  Today’s good!

Basically, here it is.  If, next Monday, you want to be exactly WHO you are today, know exactly WHAT you know today, and be surrounded by things JUST AS THEY ARE…. keep on doing  what you’ve been doing.  It’s got you where you are and it’ll keep you there.

However, if you want to be better, healthier, wiser, stronger, happier, and possibly even leaner – kick it up a notch.  Everything starts somewhere and a new and improved you is now on the clock.

What are some things you, personally, would like to start doing differently?  Are there certain habits you’d like to develop or habits you’d like to drop? How will you use Monday to kick off a great week?

Motivation from the Mayor of Bowling Green, Kentucky

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Once my husband and I were flat out in the middle of nowhere – in beautiful rural Kentucky.  We were somewhere between home (Owensboro, Kentucky) and our home away from home (Land Between the Lakes and Kentucky Lake).  All of a sudden, the car was filled with a heavenly aroma – easily identified to a citizen of Owensboro… Barbecue.  Just as I was wondering if my husband caught a whiff of the same amazing smell, he promptly turned the car around and we went back for a sandwich!

It was beyond spectacular and we have, most definitely, been back.  After all, we know where it is:  Three and a half miles past the end of the earth.

I got such a kick out of finding such a Heavenly, family-owned barbecue joint in such an unexpected place.

That sort of thing happens a lot with motivation and inspiration.  I suppose it’s more prominent if you spend the majority of your time thinking and writing about such things, as I do – but I’m confronted with motivation and inspiration every single day and in the most unexpected places.

A few examples:

  • In our neck of the woods, we had a horrific ice storm earlier this year.  People in our beautiful state were without electricity for days and even weeks.   Trees, grass, fences, vehicles, and everything else that didn’t move were encased in ice.  It was gorgeous right up until everything went (and stayed) dark and cold.  When spring finally came to Kentucky, I walked around our yard celebrating its arrival.  I love trees almost as much as I do animals, and I was really worried about the 20-plus trees in our yard.  There was something so profoundly beautiful and touching about what I saw:  Little buds springing forth from the most weathered, crooked and beaten limbs imaginable.  Somehow, even after taking the beating of their life, the trees had found the will to keep fighting.  Sure enough, they were green and gorgeous all spring and summer.  In fact, it seems to me that our apple and pear trees gave more fruit that ever as they celebrated being alive.  Survival makes you stronger, whether you’re a tree or a human being.
  • More recently, as I headed to one of these fruit trees to grab a healthy nibble after a 45 minute walk, I noticed from a distance an unsightly heap of rotten pears at the base of the beautiful pear tree.  For an instant, I thought about getting a rake and heaving the nastiness elsewhere.  However, as I got closer, the unsightly view became one of the most spectacular things I’ve ever seen.  There were hundreds of the most vividly beautiful and amazing butterflies imaginable enjoying what, to me, had been an eyesore.  No artist on earth could have created the beauty that was buzzing around those fallen pears.  One of my cats (Hannah) and I literally sat on the ground and watched in wonder. There were some colors on these butterflies that I’m not sure even have names!  I may have mentioned this before on Self Help Daily – whenever I see a butterfly, my mind thinks, “Somewhere a miracle is happening.”  That thought stream simply added to the wonder.  The most beautiful moments in life are often where we least expect them. That’s why it pays to always keep looking up and looking forward!

Motivation from the Mayor Of Bowling Green, Kentucky

One of my blogs is a Kentucky blog (Genuine Kentucky), so I often receive news alerts as well as personal “Check this out!” messages from around the state.  Recently I followed one of these links, prepared to run the story on Genuine Kentucky.  However, halfway through the story, I knew I’d be coming here first.

The story was titled, “Stimulate Yourself.”  It’s about small and mid-size towns in Kentucky finding ways to cope with our challenging economic times.  The author of the article tells how he has met with various mayors and city officials around the state to discuss the economy as well as President Obama’s stimulus package.  The mayors and city officials each told the author that they haven’t really seen any change.

Bowling Green, Kentucky’s Mayor, Elaine Walker is quoted as saying, “We didn’t see much of anything.  The money went to the state and was siphoned off by them. We got about zero from it.”

However, Mayor Walker was not overly upset about the lack of federal assistance for Bowling Green. Instead, the self-described supporter of President Obama (in a part of the country that mostly supported McCain) seems, as the article words it,  more disposed to taking matters into her own hands. Rather than waiting for Obama, Bowling Green is looking to stimulate itself…

The mayor didn’t sing a sad song, she was too busy making, and carrying out, plans.  She didn’t have a finger free to point at anyone – all 10 were busy working.  If you think about it, if someone has a finger free to point at someone – doesn’t that indicate that it isn’t in use?  Idle hands and idle minds are the devil’s workshop – mark it down, nothing good ever comes from either.

The article then goes on to detail what Mayor Walker has in mind – how she plans to stimulate Bowling Green’s economy, diversify, and boost small local businesses.

Whether it’s on an individual, family, city, or state level – those who will survive and dare to prosper are those who will put on their boots and march… even if it is uphill. The survivors will be the ones who’s hands are too busy to stop long enough to point fingers -whether their toward President Obama, Bill Clinton, George W. Bush or the Middle East.  It’ll be  the individuals who, like my own husband, look for creative approaches to saving money and making more.  The people who are up to the challenge and who, on a most unusual level, welcome the underdog status!  They’re like, “I’ll show you down and out!”

Think about it:  If a flood came to your town, what would you do?  Would you stand still as the water rose – looking for who you can pin the blame on?  Would you rant and rave about politicians and policies? Would you keep shaking your fist at Iraq?  Would you debate where the water came from?  Would you stand around waiting for someone to save you when you were perfectly capable of saving yourself?

Not unless you were a complete and perfect moron.

Don’t wait for anyone else to save you.  Be your own hero.

Great Quotes, and a Life Lesson, by Marilyn Monroe

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I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best. — Marilyn Monroe

I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when their right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. — Marilyn Monroe

Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring. — Marilyn Monroe

If I’d observed all the rules, I’d never have got anywhere. – Marilyn Monroe

I don’t want to make money. I just want to be wonderful. – Marilyn Monroe

A career is wonderful thing, but you can’t snuggle up to it on a cold night. – Marilyn Monroe

It’s better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone. – Marilyn Monroe

My work is the only ground I’ve ever had to stand on. I seem to have a whole superstructure with no foundation – but I’m working on the foundation. – Marilyn Monroe

A career is born in public — talent in privacy. – Marilyn Monroe

My illusions didn’t have anything to do with being a fine actress. I knew how third rate I was. I could actually feel my lack of talent, as if it were cheap clothes I was wearing inside. But, my God, how I wanted to learn, to change, to improve! – Marilyn Monroe

People had a habit of looking at me as if I were some kind of mirror instead of a person. They didn’t see me, they saw their own lewd thoughts, then they white-masked themselves by calling me the lewd one. – Marilyn Monroe

To a reporter: Please don’t make me a joke. – Marilyn Monroe

That’s the trouble, a sex symbol becomes a thing. But if I’m going to be a symbol of something, I’d rather have it sex than some other things we’ve got symbols of. – Marilyn Monroe

I’ve often stood silent at a party for hours listening to my movie idols turn into dull and little people. – Marilyn Monroe

I restore myself when I’m alone. – Marilyn Monroe

I love old movies and actors and actresses from the Golden Age of Hollywood. I’m constantly reading about this person or that one – fascinating! One of my favorites is, understandably, Miss Marilyn Monroe. She has always been unbelievably mysterious and interesting to me. It’s as though she, somehow, got caught up in a world that – in the end – ate her alive. One of the most beautiful and famous women in the world, and yet she wasn’t truly happy. How sad is that? From what I’ve read, I think she wanted desperately to be respected as an actress and longed to break out of the image everyone enjoyed her in and just be herself.

Whenever I read the words she said to a certain reporter, “Please don’t make me a joke,” it breaks my heart.

I’ve never been able to put my finger on the complex nature of Marilyn Monroe, but recently I read a quote about Marilyn Monroe by Shelley Winters, “If she’d been dumber, she’d have been happier.” That’s it, exactly! She was a very, very bright female in a world that wasn’t interested in very bright females.

She just wasn’t supposed to be smart and witty!

Unfortunately, to pay the bills and to have every little girls dream come true… to be in movies… she had to embark upon her greatest performance in her biggest role ever, Marilyn Monroe. In the end, it killed her. I guess if we can learn something from the life of this intelligent and beautiful actress, it would be this: Instead of coming around to what other people want us to be, we should make them come around to accepting us as we are.

I like to think of Marilyn Monroe looking down from Heaven and smiling at the beautiful, intelligent, and strong women in the world today who celebrate and flaunt each of these attributes: Angelina Jolie, Natalie Portman, Julia Roberts, Sharon Stone, Michelle Obama, Tyra Banks, Faith Hill, Charlize Theron, Cheryl Crowe, Madonna, Beyonce, and so on.

Marilyn would be proud.