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Archives for 2010
Calorie Counting? There’s an App For That
This is too cool for school – unless it’s lunch break, that is.
Most of us are trying to eat healthier, exercise more, and really watch what we eat. We know that better-fitting jeans aren’t the only thing we have to gain by adopting a healthier lifestyle. Fact is, they aren’t even the most important goal. Not even close.
We can avoid a whole plethora of illnesses, set backs, and problems if we simply wise up about our food intake. If we maintain a healthy body weight, we’re way ahead of the ballgame. Of course, getting there’s often a problem.
Everyday Health has a simple, brilliant solution that I know you’ll love: The My Calorie Counter iPhone app is an easy-to-use weight loss and weight management tool that’ll help you count calories in food and fitness activities.
Brilliant. Sometimes it’s just beautiful to live in these tech-licious times.
Click HERE to learn more.
Choices: Good or Bad, They Pen Your Autobiography
Here’s an excerpt:
Yesterday I sat at the DMV with my 15 year-old daughter while an officer talked to Ashley about how important it is to make good choices. She was getting her learner’s permit and entering the often scary world of teenage drivers. “We’ve had 320 teens killed this year in fatal car accidents so we want to do everything possible to keep you safe,” the officer said sternly as she highlighted for Ashley all the many rules for new drivers. Then she suggested signing a contract with her parents incorporating these rules.
I’ve never wanted to hug a DMV officer. But, it was all I could do not to reach across the desk and throw my arms around her. My husband and I wrote a driving contract that we’ve made each of our teenaged children sign. I’m sure our kids have thought our contract to be a bit over the top. After all, none of their friends have had to sign such a document with their parents. So, it was good to hear another adult speak truth into the life of my child. – Lysa Ter Keurst
The author or, more importantly, the mother went on to explain how her daughter was encouraged to make RIGHT decisions when behind the wheel of a car as opposed to WRONG, SILLY decisions such as texting, playing music too loud, acting foolish, taking pictures of herself or friends, and so forth. You know, the sort of things that lead to the hospital. Or worse.
I’ve been thinking a lot about choices lately, this article just kind of brought all of these thoughts full circle. As the old saying goes, choices are the hinges of destiny. When we make bad choices, the odds of opening bad doors go through the roof. Karma exists and she has teeth.
How can reasonably intelligent people make so many poor choices? I’ve often asked myself this question and can’t say that I have any answers. Either they aren’t as intelligent as they’re given credit for OR they fall for lies like I fall for chocolate – hard and every time.
Here’s an example: Jersey Shore. Plenty of people are going to hate me (and probably out loud) for this – after all, it’s a very popular show. I, for one, am not AT ALL happy about that fact. Here’s why. The “cast” of Jersey Shore is known for doing two things on/off the show:
- Drinking – a lot.
- Sleeping around – a lot.
Our young people are watching this show religiously. They’re laughing about it. They’re dressing, tanning, and doing their hair like the Jersey Shore cast. The show is a “reality” show but, like a lot of reality shows, it’s played up a great deal. Problem is, a lot of young people don’t “get” that. They see these people who come into their living rooms and bedrooms each week as funny, cool, and hot. They’re trying to emulate them and I don’t have to tell you how that should scare the wits out of parents… all adults, for that matter. Seriously, do we want a generation of people making nothing BUT stupid choices?!?! What do any of these people do to make the world a better place? How do they help those who can’t help themselves?
“Life is the sum of all your choices.” – Albert Camus
Bad Choices
Let’s take drinking alcohol. How, in any shape or form is that a good choice? Drinking isn’t smart, it isn’t cool, and it certainly isn’t pretty. Drinking, followed by driving… I’m sorry, but that’s simply ignorance in its lowest form.
How about promiscuity? Sexually-transmitted diseases, unwanted pregnancies, and hideous reputations lie on the other side of this particular door. Pretty? Hardly
Drugs? Smoking? Again, poor choices that don’t lead to anyplace worth going.
Drinking, drugs, and smoking harm the individual physically, mentally, and emotionally. Poor choices tend to do that – in spades. So, why do people keep doing them?!?! Again, I think they fall for the LIES. They see silly, ridiculous celebrities and reality-show stars doing it and they foolishly fall for the image… “OH! This is what cool people do. This is the only way to have fun.”
LIES.
I’m sorry if I’m preaching. I really am. I’m not trying to because (A) It’s not in my nature and (B) I’m not the least bit qualified to do so! I simply want to see humans prove that they’re capable of making good choices. As a mother, I admit my heart goes out mainly to young people. I can’t help it – I just want to gather everyone under the age of 30 in a room and plead with them to make good choices in their life. I want to tell them how precious their life is and how they can use it to actually do something positive in their life as well as in the world. These young people who are so passionate about taking their pictures and posting them on Facebook… who are so passionate about hitting up weekend parties… who are so passionate about watching Jersey Shore – I wish I could make them see that they deserve more from life than that.
And it deserves more from them.
I’d love to introduce them to children with very special needs, animals who are being mistreated and neglected, abused women and children, patients who are undergoing chemo, young people who are being bullied because they’re so-called different, and so forth. I’d love for them to see all of the needs in the world. NEEDS that they could help take care of if they’d step outside of themselves and stop making bad decision after bad decision.
Good Choices
Two of my daughters (Emily and Stephany) and I were talking recently about taking a stand for someone or something in life. Each of these girls does just that. I’m ridiculously proud of them for that. Not only do they avoid BAD choices (neither smokes or drinks, and Tylenol’s their only drug), they avoid people who make BAD choices. That’s key. What’s more, they make GOOD choices. Emily works with children who are challenged and feels particularly drawn to the Muscular Dystrophy cause. She’s “all about” every cause or organization that seeks to help improve the lives of children. She understands how precious children are and would fight a zombie clown for a child she’d never met.
The clown wouldn’t stand a chance.
Stephany is my tree hugger. She’s passionate about conservation, the environment, and saving every animal on the planet (wonder where she got that from?). Like her mom, she often goes in a direction that some would call “too far.” For example, she’s on an anti Swamp People crusade! That’s my girl. If you ask me, it’s better to go too far than to not go at all. Steph always lets me know about what Madonna is up to – things like providing fresh water for communities, etc. Someone who’s music I loved as a teenager is now inspiring my youngest daughter in a positive way. I love that.
The Material Girl is using her materials to make the world a better place.
Like Angelina Jolie and other celebrities, it’s like the light kicked on. They realized that there was far more to life than celebrating themselves or making money. They realized that true happiness and joy come from improving other’s lives, not your own.
My middle daughter, Brittany, wasn’t with us on this particular walk and talk fest. However, Britt also cares about making a difference in the world. She feels passionate breast cancer research and autism. I remember years ago, while we were homeschooling, she read about Autism in a health textbook. It spiked her interest, so I had her do a research paper on the subject. She fell in love with autistic individuals! I believe she’s read every book ever written about autism.
Personally, my own causes are Down’s Syndrome, animal protection, world hunger, Muscular Dystrophy, bullying, heart disease and cancer research. Each one of us FEELS for all of the needs, but we’ve chosen our own particular fights. I honestly wish everyone would find what they feel most passionate about in life and follow that cause. Support the cause(s) financially, with word of mouth… basically in any way you can. Place badges and banners on your websites, blogs, Facebook, and Twitter pages. Even if it takes making a pest out of yourself – sometimes that’s what it takes to get the job done!
Right, good, positive choices. They’re better for the individual, the community, and the world in general.
Another cause I’ve really taken up is battling the drinking epidemic in young people. Again, I don’t mind making a pest (or worse) out of myself. In fact, I kind of insist upon it. I don’t want young people (or old ones, for that matter) throwing their lives away with one of the dumbest choices known. Keep your head and wits about you – stay in the game! Ask Charlie Sheen and Mel Gibson how cool drinking really is. It looks a hot mess if you ask me.
“The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn.” – David Russell
Think about the quote above, it’s a beaut. Sometimes, I believe, people can “burn” bad bridges simply by choosing a better bridge. If you have bad choices in your life (it could even be something unrelated to one of the things we talked about – it could be anger issues, bigotry, overeating, gambling, overspending…) – call them out on the floor! Make a decision to burn that bridge and cross a better bridge. Take up a new, positive hobby or – better yet – a cause you feel passionate about. If you’re burning a particular bridge that you KNOW others are on… why not take up the cause?! After all, you know the pitfalls, the temptations, and so forth. Pull a Harriet Tubman and go back for others who are in bondage.
You could make a positive difference in the lives of others. What a legacy!
It’s time for the ME generation and the FACEBOOK generation to wake up and take a look around. There’s more to life than you and more important things than letting the good times roll. Snap out of it and lend a hand.
A final thought about decisions and choices. If you’re on the fence about something, or waving back and forth like an autumn leaf on a tree – remember this: With time, indecision becomes decision. If you’re indecisive about making your life COUNT for something – you’re actually making your decision. You’ve decided that it will count for nothing.
Talk about a tragedy.
If you have any special causes or crosses you’ve personally taken up, use the comments section to bring attention to them. That’s how all great progress begins – bringing attention to the need. If you are interested in finding a cause that needs you, first of all GOOD FOR YOU! Second of all, one of the first places I’d go is http://pujolsfamilyfoundationblog.org/
Drug abusers young and old alike would do well to consider joining a drug addiction recovery program to completely eliminate drugs from their lives.
Holy Mole’ by Rick Hotton
Five Wishes: A Gift That Changed My Life…
Below is a guest article by author Gay Hendricks. To read my review of Gay Hendricks wonderful book Five Wishes, click here.
Five Wishes — A Gift That Changed My Life (and Can Change Yours Too) by Gay Hendricks, author Five Wishes
When I was in my thirties, I had a conversation that ignited a hidden power in me and revealed to me my life-path. I tell the story of this profound moment of my life, an experience that set me on a path to having all my dreams come true, in my new book Five Wishes. My hope and intention in sharing this moment with you is that it gives you not only a story you’ll enjoy but also a powerful tool you can use to make all your dreams come true.
The Conversation That Changed My Life
Oddly enough, the conversation that changed my life took place at a party I didn’t even want to go to. I’m not a party-person in general, and I had some personal stuff going on in the relationship realm that made me not want to be at a big, festive event. I was feeling anything but festive.
I was in the early stages of my relationship with Kathlyn. I was deeply attracted to her, but I was already feeling the early warning signs of the relationship’s demise. I could feel an old familiar fear of commitment stirring within me. It was a fear that filled my mind with doubt and caused me to look for things to criticize about her. I was achingly familiar with this pattern; it had caused the deterioration of several relationships in my past. I would get involved with someone, then about six months into the relationship I would start to pull back, usually just about the time the woman wanted me to make a deeper commitment.
Kathlyn was relatively new in town and wanted to go to the party so she could meet people. I had agreed to take her, and I didn’t want to face her reaction if I changed my mind. That was another pattern of mine: To do something I didn’t want to do in order to avoid the unpleasantness of the other person’s disappointment or anger. Finally I decided to put aside my resistance and fulfill my obligation. I suited up, rehearsed my party-smile, and marched forth into the cold November night. Little did I know I was about to have a conversation that would change my life forever.
After an hour or so I was getting tired of being convivial and participating in party-chatter. To get out of the fray, I sidled into a quiet den that was lined with bookshelves. There I found another “escapee” who was browsing books on the shelves, a tall fellow with a shaven head, about sixty years of age. We greeted each other and exchanged names. He said he’d gotten tired of small-talk and was taking a breather.
I told him I felt exactly the same way.
That’s when the conversation shifted into a new dimension.
“Well, since we’re here and we don’t like small talk, let’s not have any,” he said.
“Done deal,” I said, thinking our interaction was over.
Instead, he said “Then let’s either have some Big Talk or no talk at all.”
I took a deep breath and plunged into the unknown. I told him I was up for some Big Talk.
Right away he offered a piece of information that definitely qualified as Big Talk. He said he’d had a near-death experience, but that it turned out to be possibly the greatest experience of his life. He said that through the experience he had received the gift of a profound question.
I asked him to tell me more.
He told me the details weren’t important, but he offered to ask me the question that had come out of the experience.
“It’s big,” he said, “Are you absolutely certain you want it?”
I could feel the icicle-butterfly sensations of fear in my stomach, but I could also feel a heightened sense of excitement and alertness all over me.
“Yes,” I said.
“Okay,” he said, “Imagine you’re on your deathbed.”
I gulped. “Okay.”
He said it might be today or tomorrow or fifty years from now, but whenever it was, imagine that he came to visit me on my deathbed.
He asked me to picture him standing beside the bed, telling me goodbye. From this perspective, he said, ask yourself this question:
“Was your life a complete success?”
He continued: “You might say ‘Yes, my life has been a complete success’ or you might say ‘No, my life has not been a complete success.’”
“Right,” I said, intrigued by the direction this was taking.
“If you said ‘No, my life was not a complete success,’ you would have some reasons why it wasn’t. For example, J. Paul Getty, who was the wealthiest man in the world, said on his deathbed, ‘I’d gladly give up all my millions for one experience of marital happiness.’ If he’d been given a wish, that’s what he would have wished for.”
I was fascinated by what he was saying, but I could also feel a growing sense of anxiety in my belly. What did all this have to do with me?
“If you told me on your deathbed that your life had not been a success, what would be the things you’d wish had happened that would have made it a success?”
My mind went TILT. What an amazing question! Right away I knew the main reason my life was not a success:
Because I never enjoyed a long and happy marriage with a woman I adored and who adored me…a lifelong blossoming of passion and creativity with a woman.
Ed asked my why that was important to me. The words seemed to tumble out of my mouth. First, to have this kind of relationship would accomplish something I’d never seen in the world, and certainly not in my family of origin. Second, to enjoy lasting love with a woman would mean that my moment-to-moment experience would be rich and joyful. Third, I had a master’s degree and a Ph.D. in the field of counseling psychology and had counseled thousands of people on their issues and concerns. What good was all that training and practice if I couldn’t figure out how to experience genuine, lasting love with one other human being?
“Okay,” he said, “turn the wish into a goal, and put it in the present tense, as if it’s happening right now.”
I rearranged the words in my head. My life is a total success because I enjoy a happy marriage with a woman I adore and who adores me. I’m enjoying a lifelong blossoming of passion and creativity with her.
“Is that something you really want?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“And is that something you’re willing to commit yourself to, body and soul?”
I immediately felt a gut-dropping sensation of fear, but in spite of the wave of terror I said, “Yes.” Remarkably, as soon as I said yes the fear disappeared completely.
I felt my whole body light up with an inner smile. I had no idea if I could accomplish this goal, but I knew I would die unsatisfied if I did not commit myself body and soul to the quest. Getting clear on this goal and its importance to me awakened a burst of energy and aliveness I could feel all over.
Fast Forward To Now
In my book, Five Wishes, I share the whole journey with you, all the ups and downs along the way to seeing my five greatest wishes come true. I’m about the same age now as my benefactor was when he asked me that powerful question. I think his great value in my life was not just the question—it was that he held a space for me in which all my dreams could come true. Now, I know it’s possible. I’d like to hold that space for you, so that your deepest wishes and greatest dreams can come true. From my own life and from working with people for the past thirty-some years, I’ve found that human beings have a great deal more capacity for achieving our dreams than we usually give ourselves credit for. I believe we can attain all the important wishes of our lifetimes—if we get our hearts and minds in harmony about what those wishes are.
For assistance in helping you clarify your own Five Wishes, you’re invited to use the resources of www.5wishesbook.com, where you can download the Five Wishes worksheet, the Five Wishes movie, and other useful resources. – by Gay Hendricks, author Five Wishes
Bio
Gay Hendricks is the author of more than 25 books in personal development, relationship and conscious business. With his wife, Dr. Kathlyn Hendricks, he is the author of Conscious Loving, Spirit-Centered Relationships and The Conscious Heart. The Hendricks Institute, based in Ojai, California, offers seminars around the world in conscious relationship and bodymind vibrance. He may be reached through www.5wishesbook.com and www.hendricks.com.