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You are here: Home / Archives for 2011

Archives for 2011

The Swiss Cheese Theory of Life

December 10, 2011 by Joi Leave a Comment

The Swiss Cheese Theory of LIfe, by Judith A. Belmont, MS and Lora Shor, MSW, is such a fun, delightful, and thought-provoking book that I only wish I could put a copy into each one of my reader’s hands.  I was sent my own review copy a few weeks ago and I’ve really gotten a kick out of it.

Don’t get me wrong. Just because it’s fun, delightful, colorful, and has a killer personality doesn’t mean there isn’t a great deal of substance here, because there is.  The fact that it has a great deal of fun serving up the wonderful nuggets of self growth simply means that you’ll stay with them all the way to the end.  I can’t imagine anyone bailing on this book midway – you’d be too afraid of missing what might come next!

From the back cover:

Take The Swiss Cheese Theory of Life Challenge

  • Are you trying to make changes in your life, yet find yourself digging deeper into a hole?
  • Do you “know better” but still continue unhealthy patterns and habits?
  • Do you often have “why does this happen to me” thinking?
  • Are you looking for happiness in all the wrong places?
  • Are you ready to make healthy changes in your life…. physically, emotionally, spiritually?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions – this book is for you!

The Swiss Cheese Theory of Life is a book about resiliency. Using Swiss Cheese as a metaphor for life itself, you will explore ways to get through life’s holes without getting stuck in them.  Swill is not like any other cheese – and neither are you!

Top 10 Things I Love About The Swiss Cheese Theory of Life:

  1. The book has such a positive vibe it floats off of the pages.  There’s no negativity, scare tactics, or heavy handed advice.
  2. The authors treat important matters as important matters but don’t take things overly seriously. Life’s fun and this book doesn’t just “get” that, it celebrates it.
  3. I look at reading as sitting down and having a friendly visit with an author or authors. These authors are great company and I’m hoping for more collaborations.
  4. This book is highly interactive, inviting the reader to think, solve, and resolve.  We don’t grow when others do all the thinking for us!
  5. There are many fascinating quotes, illustrations, and examples. The lively writing is compelling.
  6. There are FUN illustrations and even comics. LOVE that!
  7. The book reads very fast, but doesn’t at all feel like “fast food.”  It’s fine dining quality but can be read by even the busiest person in no time at all.
  8. The authors show you how to take complete control of your life and bring the changes about that YOU want – not the changes someone else wants for you. Very important.
  9. The authors take good ole human emotions and short-comings into consideration. Very often they hit you with your excuses before they’ve even completely formed in your mind! Best of all, they offer solutions.
  10. Last, but certainly not least, this book shows that it is never, ever too late.  Lifelong mistakes or even even consistent shortcomings can be turned around.  The ship can be “righted” and.. guess what… we’re at the helm!

About the Authors:

Judith A. Belmont, MS, is a national speaker and corporate wellness trainer, with over 30 years of experience as a psychotherapist. From college teaching to working with Fortune 500 companies, Judy uses practical, action-oriented strategies to get people through life s obstacles. She is the author of two professional books, 86 Tips for the Therapeutic Toolbox and 103 Group Activities and TIPS.

Lora Shor, LSW, is a psychotherapist, work/life consultant, and national speaker. She has helped thousands learn and implement resiliency skills and transformation techniques for happier, healthier, balanced lifestyle. Lora is an international consultant to Fortune 500 companies, the federal government, and non-profits, and also maintains a private clinical practice in the Philadelphia area.

The Swiss Cheese Theory of Life is JUST the book I want each of my readers to have by their side when the new year rolls in.  When you’re sitting at the table with pen and paper, making your New Year’s Resolutions, I want this book to be there with the three of you!  It just may be the glue that’ll make those resolutions stick.

Take a closer look at this very special book: The Swiss Cheese Theory of LIfe

Filed Under: Book Reviews, Books I Love Tagged With: Book Reviews, self growth, self help book reviews, self help books

How to Strengthen Your Mind

December 7, 2011 by Joi 3 Comments

Improve your mind and Strengthen your brain!

Yesterday I published a mega post on my Mental Fitness Blog (Out of Bounds).  The article is all about staying mentally fit, improving your brain’s health, and preventing Alzheimer’s Disease.  You can take a look at it here:  100 Ways to Stay on Top of Your Game, Mentally.

Quotes About Learning

Get over the idea that only children should spend their time in study.  Be a student so long as you still have something to learn, and this will mean all your life.  – Henry L. Doherty

Man’s mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions. – Oliver Wendell Holmes

You learn something every day if you pay attention.  – Ray LeBlond

Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere. – Chinese Proverb

Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. – Henry Ford

Always walk through life as if you have something new to learn and you will. – Vernon Howard

I don’t think much of a man who is not wiser today than he was yesterday.  – Abraham Lincoln

More Quotes about Learning

Filed Under: Fitness, Health Tagged With: improve your mind, quotes about learning, strengthen your brain

Quote About Action and Success

November 28, 2011 by Joi 6 Comments

Pine Mountain Trail Behind the Lodge

“Don’t wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful.” – Mark Victor Hansen

Filed Under: Daily Quote Tagged With: action quote, Daily Quote, success quote

Dealing with Rude People

November 21, 2011 by Joi 5 Comments

Thunderstorm

Rude, obnoxious people are like unpredictable thunderstorms. Running and Screaming in the other direction isn’t just my first impulse, it’s my first, middle, and last impulse.

As I’ve said before, I always welcome topic suggestions on my self help blog. I even have a contact form on my mental fitness website where readers suggest subjects they’re interested in “hashing out.”  After all, if I’m going to talk (cue my husband, “She most definitely is going to talk.“), I’d rather talk about what YOU want to talk about than what I want to talk about.

Anyway, a recent subject brought up in my e-mail was this: “How do YOU deal with obnoxious, mean-spirited, and generally unpleasant people?”   I replied that my first response was AVOID THEM LIKE SNAKES IN THE GRASS! Naturally, that’s not always possible, so we simply have to out-class, out-smart, and out-pleasant them… which, fortunately, is never very hard.

My new e-mail friend (bless her) works with the public and sees humanity on parade each day. She tells me that, at work, she knows how she has to deal with difficult people: She has to smile, be courteous, and try to resolve the situation as quickly and painlessly as possible. Her real problem was people who aren’t her customers (co-workers, neighbors,  etc.).

Just as she and I were about 4 e-mails deep in our discussion about difficult people, I got another message from someone else asking if I’d ever had to deal with “jerks” online. When I stopped rolling on the floor, laughing, I replied that I’ve seen enough “jerks” online to populate a small country. One I’d never want to visit, I might add!  This individual was tired of rude comments left on Facebook and Twitter from people who don’t even have enough guts to use their name.  You know the ones – the spell checkers, grammar police, and general know-it-alls.  The people who serve no real purpose in the world and never actually help anyone or anything.

Apparently this person (I honestly couldn’t tell from the name if they were male or female – it could go either way. I love the name, though, and plan to use it on my next cat) had ran into some of these online cesspools of negativity. They’d made the mistake of trying to reason with them.  Never. Do. That.  They simply aren’t worth your time.

Here’s my personal routine for handling these characters:  I smile (because I’m not them), I keep singing along with whatever song I’m listening to at the moment (without missing a beat), then I delete every proof that they ever existed in my world (they’re toxic).

When it comes to dealing with negative, difficult people, I think the most important thing to realize is this: They’re the ones with the problem, not you. Plus, as I’ve often told my daughters when they’re dealing with hateful people: To a certain extent, you kind of have to feel sorry for them.  After all, how much bitterness, anger, negativity, and downright misery must lie within them for them to be so disagreeable?

Difficult and negative people entertain difficult and negative thoughts.  That’s where it all starts. If they’d learn to cultivate positive, helpful, and generally pleasant thoughts, they’d cease to be snakes in the grass and they’d find more people gravitating TO them instead of running away FROM them.

Every thought is a seed.  If you plant crab apples, don’t count on harvesting Golden Delicious.  – Bill Meyer

Most of the time, the most miserable people you know are, indeed, the most miserable people you know.  If they behave in a miserable way, chances are the action springs from a miserable inner pool. If they mean something to you, I’d suggest trying to find ways to help them be happier. If you have to be around them any time at all, you’ll benefit from it at least as much as they will.  Try to avoid confrontations and do all that’s within you to keep conversations cordial and positive.  Arguing with difficult people only brings you down to their level and, in many ways, allows them to win.  They were able to ruin your day and, for a period of time, make you as miserable as them.

Refuse to give them that!

Simply ask them, “Is there anything bothering you? Anything I can help you with?”  The funny thing is, very often JUST the words alone will snap them out of their ugly mood.

Negativity is a very real, tangible, and hurtful thing. My husband once spent a few days with a colleague – on a golf trip.  When he got back home, he nearly threw himself into our house. I watched as he, literally, tried to “shake off” the experience.  The other man was, apparently, one of those people who is never, ever satisfied.  He complained about this, he complained about that… and when he got through, he complained about complaining.  The negativity was so thick, I suspect my husband found it hard to breathe!

Dealing with difficult people is tricky, make no mistake about it, and only you know for certain how to handle your own personal Oscar the Grouch.  However, since you are the person I’m worried about here, as opposed to O.T.G., I want to look out for you.  Below are the top 3 things to remember when handling the negative and rude crowd:

  1. Realize that THEY are the ones with the personality problem, not you. They’re the one with so much negativity inside that it’s oozing outside. Get away before it gets on you.
  2. Don’t mirror them by sinking down to their level.  You should never mirror anyone, of course, but if you ever DO try someone else’s “look” on, make sure it’s attractive. Why’d you want to be ugly too?!?!
  3. Never allow anyone to rob you of your happiness.  They say misery loves company. Just because the invitation’s sent doesn’t mean you have to accept!

What are your ways for dealing with difficult and/or negative people?!

Something for Human Spell Checks (and Grammar Checks) to Keep in Mind:
More times than not the individual you’re trying to “call out” is at least as intelligent as you. More times than not, they know very well how to spell the word in question. Even if they did not, berating them or trying to come across as their superior does nothing for them OR you. The individual who made the error could have been sick at the time or they could have recently lost a loved one, for that matter. Having said that, they may have made a good, old-fashioned spelling error! Human mistakes are something we all make, you included. Instead of stepping on someone in an effort to make yourself feel bigger, why not spend a little quality time with yourself and figure out why you can’t stand tall on your own two feet.

Filed Under: Positive Thought, Problem Solving, Relationships Tagged With: how to handle difficult people, Relationships

Beautiful Quote About Relationships

November 21, 2011 by Joi 3 Comments

Bo and Adam

” If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?” – Stephen Levine

I don’t, as a rule, like to think about anyone or anything dying.  And when I say as a rule, I mean I never, ever do it!  I’d much rather focus on living. However, when you put things into the sort of context that the quote above chooses, you quickly realize that any loving words left unsaid are wasteful.  They could potentially be the most wasteful words, accompanied by the biggest regret, of your life.

We’re right in the midst of the beautiful holiday season. Thanksgiving’s on our front porch, Christmas in just down the road, and New Year’s Day is around the corner. Take advantage of all the wonderful opportunities around you to let the people you love so much that you can’t imagine life without them KNOW that you love them so much that you can’t imagine life without them.

What good do the words or feelings do if they stay in your heart and mind. Let them out and watch the magic begin.

More Inspirational Quotes:

Quotes about Love

Quotes About Family

Quotes About Friends

Filed Under: Daily Quote, Relationships Tagged With: quote of the day, relationship quote

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