Have you ever been in a situation where you were obviously ticked off and yet people continue to egg you on by saying something like “oh, just calm down.” It never works and all it does is get under your skin. The more they pry, the more your blood boils until you lash out (verbally or physically).
In your mind, you know you are in the wrong and there is always regret the moment you take action. It’s difficult because you know your body and mind, but anger is simply something that seems out of your control. It happens to the best of us and I completely understand your situation because I, too, have gone through the rough patches when anger has cause serious harm to myself (and others).
- Discovering Yourself
The anger that is boiling from within isn’t just a manifestation caused by the world around you but the inner turmoil that has developed over a lifetime of issues. The only reason you lash out is that you aren’t connecting with your inner self–because you are not at peace.
The Mayo Clinic has a great set of actions you can take to tame the beast before it becomes too much:
- · Take time before you speak so that you get out of the emotional state so you may respond through calm, logical reasoning
- · Find different outlets that allows you to unleash your anger in a positive (non-destructive) way such as playing a sport, jumping into a video game, or doing relaxation techniques
- · Try to see the problem from their perspective and let that linger so that you may learn what exactly ticks you off (so you can avoid those triggers at a later point)
- Seeking Help
When you feel the anger building up and you’re beginning to lose control no matter the self-help techniques you employ, it’s time to get real and accept that you have an issue. Just as you would after injuring yourself from an accident, it’s time to seek help from others:
- · Talk with close family and friend about the issues and sit patiently as they explain the problems so you can take them to heart (see how your anger is destroying the relationships and set a plan to never do those actions again)
- · Consider seeking anger management counseling under the guidance of professionals who work with people like you in a relaxed environment. They can help you understand the triggers and get you realigned with your logical self.
- · Create a buddy system with one of your closest friends (or family members) so that when you do feel the urges rising you can quickly get in touch with them and seek their opinions and guidance to steer you away from trouble
- Suppression Exercises
After you’ve begun to understand yourself through self-help and then accepted that you need additional aid from the professionals, you should have an understanding of what techniques you can employ to suppress these destructive urges:
- · Consider meditating, practicing a hobby, exercising, or doing something gruelingly physical to get the tension out of your body
- · When you feel the anger coming on begin doing deep breathing and counting back from 10 to calm yourself; at the same time remind yourself that it’s okay, it may have been a mistake, and that there is no reason to lash out abusively to others
- · Get away from the situation and go to your “safe zone” where you can vent if need be but away from anyone so that there isn’t additional instigation from third-parties
I’ve been there. I’ve hurt a lot of people (mentally) by being out of control with my anger issues and it’s hard to see that they exist when your mind and judgment is clouded by rage. Do yourself a favor and admit that there is something wrong. Once you do that you can begin treatment – the type of treatment that will turn your life around.