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Tips for Surviving the Holiday Season if This Time of Year Is Difficult for You

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by Brooke Faulkner

When many people talk about the holidays, they speak with a feeling of warmth and love. They associate this time of year with family and giving. Kids get gifts and winter break; parents get to see their children believe in something magical; and families embrace and feel blessed for their time spent together. Holidays feel nostalgic for many, and this time of year brings back memories of baked cookies, Christmas movies, and cozy mornings with hot cocoa and playing in the snow.

However, plenty of people have a difficult time during the holiday season. Some may feel lonelier during the holidays. Some may have feelings of grief due to the absence of a loved one during this time. Some may not have family, or be estranged from their family. Some may feel ostracized if they are single, without children, or going through a separation. Some may be experiencing financial troubles that are exacerbated during the gift-giving holidays. Some may be struggling to stay sober or battling with their mental health. No matter what your story is, there are tips that can help you survive this difficult time of year.

Get Out of Town

If the holiday season is hard for you, it might be the perfect time for you to get out of town and create new memories away from any triggering people or situations. Travel has a way of helping you feel rejuvenated and can help in increasing your feelings of independence and adventure. Visit some of the most amazing cities in the world — some of which won’t feel like the holiday season in terms of temperature and culture. Even a road trip to a nearby resort or a winter camping weekend can help to remove you from the hard parts of being at home. You have every right to take this time and mold it into whatever you need to help make you feel better.

Create New Traditions

Some of the common traditions that people have can make this time of year worse for people. Even your own traditions can be triggering if you’ve lost someone or been recently separated. Instead of sticking with the traditions that are difficult, create new ones. If you’re feeling especially lonely, spend this time of year visiting shelter dogs or retirement communities to be a source of comfort for others who may be lonely as well. If you recently lost someone, make a new tradition of celebrating them somehow, like making their favorite recipe or watching their favorite holiday movie. Pinpoint the hard parts of the holiday and find ways to make them your own, or replace them altogether.

Plan an Exit Strategy

If you’re worried about something happening during holiday events that will be hard, be sure to plan an exit strategy. Sometimes it’s being around toxic family members, sometimes it’s being around drinks when you’re trying to be sober, and sometimes it’s seeing spouses or families simply enjoying this time of year. Each of those things can lead to heartache, so you are allowed to remove yourself if things get hard. Plan an excuse to get out of an event beforehand in case something happens. It might even be helpful to set the scene and tell people, “I may have to leave early,” or “I may get called into work,” to help make it easier to leave. This will make it less awkward if you need to make a getaway from something that is hard to handle.

Find Something You Enjoy

When this time of year is hard for you, help yourself by finding something about it that you enjoy. Maybe this time of year is hard, but you love the snow, helping others in need, or watching Christmas movies. You might try diving into more snow sports like skiing or snowshoeing to help you with something you enjoy during this time. Not only can it help when things get hard, but exercising in nature can also help with things like occupational burnout or helping to combat seasonal affective disorder.

If you love helping others, you may make this time of year into a tradition of giving by adopting a family or buying gifts for charity. If you can’t think of many things you enjoy, try to find something you haven’t done yet to find the thing about this time of year that you do enjoy.

Be Kind to Yourself

More than anything, it’s important to be kind to yourself during this time of year. Sometimes there’s nothing particularly triggering about the holidays, but things seem to be difficult anyway. This can be due to added stress, being stretched too thin, or spending more time comparing your situation to someone else’s. Be kind to yourself by managing your expectations and making your mental health and self-care a priority. Commit to one holiday party instead of all of them, suggest another family member hosting this year, or stay focused on unplugging from social media altogether. If it’s too hard to take an active part in the holidays, forgive yourself for that. The holidays are hard for many people, and it’s okay if your holiday season doesn’t look like everyone else’s.

Though the holidays are magical for some, others feel the weight of expectations. They are expected to buy a big gift, attend the parties, be around family, and act as though this time of year is a blessing. For some, that’s just not how it feels. It feels heavy and fake. It feels stressful and overwhelming. It feels emotional and difficult. If the holidays are hard for you, rewrite the hard parts. Get out of town, create your own traditions, plan an exit strategy, find something you enjoy, and be kind to yourself. Hold on tight until this time of year has gone by. Until then, utilize some of these tips to help you get through it.

10 Flowers to Boost Your Mood!

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A while back, I researched topics that people search for the most in search engines (an in life, if we were to take it a profound step further). How to be happy, how to boost your mood, how to improve a bad mood, and how to feel happier were among the most searched things… pretty much, year after year.

There are, obviously many things you can do to improve your chances of happiness and there are just as many ways to boost your mood.

Thank goodness!

You absolutely do not have to let a bad mood ever win. One of the simplest things you can do is to surround yourself with things that make you happy. Things that make you smile inside/out, as it were. When these happy-triggers also happen to be beautiful (like flowers), it’s a win-win situation. I love having flowers everywhere in my home – literally in every room. They boost the mood, improve the appearance of the room and bring glorious nature inside.

Below is a wonderful infographic from FTD detailing how 10 especially beautiful flowers can boost your mood.  Do what I do…. surround yourself with them!

~ Joi

10 Flowers to Boost Your Mood

Infographic Credit: FTD


Selective Memory: A Key KEY TO HAPPINESS (and Better Relationships)

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Most People are as Happy as they Make Up Their Minds to Be

Abraham Lincoln said, “Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Many people like to nitpick at this quote but, to a certain extent it is spot on. Without knowing it, the great Lincoln was basically saying, “Use selective memory for your GOOD, not for your BAD. You’ll only be as happy as the thoughts you keep on repeat in your mind.”

Or something like that.

You’re Wearing a Groove

Have you ever heard an adult say something along the lines of, “I remember the time, when I was in 3rd grade, my mother embarrassed me in front of the whole class. I felt so mad at her..”  I have heard many variations and it always irks me.

First of all – seriously? You’re going to keep someone on the hook for YEARS? Years?! It grinds my gears when adults choose to remember the negative things their parents did to them (unless, of course these things were physically or emotionally abusive… in this case, therapy might be their only resource for letting go). More times than not, they are embarrassingly small things the parent did.

  • They didn’t allow them to get their ears pierced as early as their friends.
  • They yelled at them in front of friends.
  • They didn’t let them get a license until they were 17.
  • Blah blah blah blah…

Wouldn’t it be better and healthier to hold fast to good memories?

  • The time they did without new clothes for themselves so you could have the “coolest” clothes.
  • The time your mom surprised you by cleaning your room (which looked like two tornadoes had hit it).
  • The time your dad, even though he was dead tired, took the family out to eat and then to a ballgame.
  • Etc etc etc…

It’s called “Selective Memory” AND it’s called common sense.

I have a gazillion faults and shortcomings. I mean, we could trot them out, one by one, all day and only scratch the surface. BUT, this whole “selective memory” thing, I’ve got this one nailed! Heck, I was exercising “selective memory” before it even had a name.

I simply prefer to focus on the good and push the bad back into the cave it deserves to be in. I am also really quick at being able to do this. I don’t carry grudges or hold on to “done me wrongs” and I certainly don’t throw them up to or about others. What’s the point? Seriously… What. Is. The. POINT?!

Here’s a funny thing about thoughts. They wear “grooves” into your mind and the more you entertain a particular thought, the deeper the groove and the easier it is for it to ride into town (your mind) at any given time, bringing its nasty, toxic energy with it. Who in their right town mind would want that?

Naturally, it isn’t just kids remembering things their parents did. I have also frequently heard spouses play the “on the hook” game as well as parents about their kids.

“I remember when my daughter didn’t call me on my birthday until 5:15 that night. It was like an afterthought!” Then when you ask, “Was it your last birthday,” and they tell you it was 12 years ago!  Or a husband will bring up the time his wife let a car “noise” go so long the transmission had to be replace… you know… 8 years ago.

Let people off the darn hook!

Oddly enough, people who hold grudges against others never seem to think they’ve EVER made mistakes. It’s always kind of funny, actually. I even heard a couple arguing once and she was giving him the, “You said this… and you said that… and you said…” and he broke in and said, “Yeah – but do you remember what you said?!”

Her answer… “THAT DOESN’T MATTER!” I had to laugh, in spite of myself. She wasn’t just cute when she screamed it, she was incredibly typical. No one wants to remember their own wrongs.

You know why? Most of us have very positive selective memory when it comes to ourselves! What if we used very positive selective memory for everyone else in our lives? Our relationships would be sweeter and we would be infinitely happier and more pleasant to be around.

I don’t know – it’s just something to think about.

A Few Thoughts about Thoughts

  • Random thoughts can and DO pop into our minds. How long we allow them to stick around is well within our control. We choose to either toss them or dwell on them. Always remember that the more you dwell on them, the darker the imprint – the deeper the groove. Dwell on positive thoughts and memories, which will leave you with positive, happy imprints and grooves. The alternative is ugly.
  • When so-and-so did you so very, inexcusably wrong, remind yourself that you have zero idea what they were going through at the time. Whether it was a parent or spouse who very well have been worried about finances, their own aging parents, or a million other things or a child who may have been dealing with things you never realized – cut people the same slack you would want sliced off for you. Think about the positive things they did for you… you know there are many more of these!
  • Choose your thoughts wisely – they point you in the way you’ll go… physically and emotionally.
  • What you FEEL you ATTRACT.

You are going to spend the rest of your life with your thoughts. We should choose them more carefully than we do anything! Whether you realize it or not, thoughts are building blocks and they will build you a tower of bitterness or a gazebo of happiness. The choice is yours.

~ Joi


Simple Pleasures in Life

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by Amanda Green

Simple pleasures are brief experiences that emerge in an everyday setting, and they bring a positive impact on one’s life. They are accessible to most people at little or no cost. These pleasures are often personal. This means that what may be a simple pleasure for you may not be a simple pleasure to another person. Simple pleasures should be embraced because they bring you joy and happiness, compared to temptations, which bring inner conflicts.

Mostly, simple pleasures depend on one’s creativity. The pleasures are derived from any small opportunities available for happiness. The ordinary simple pleasures include sleeping in on a rainy day, finding money that you did not know you had, hearing the right song at the right moment, among other pleasures.

A specific type of cat or dog can also be a source of simple pleasures. Dogs are known for some great things such as their loyalty and love. In addition to that, there are small, daily pleasures that only those who have had a close encounter with dogs can understand. The following are some of the simple pleasures that dogs provide:

  1. Dogs are the perfect alarm clocks. When dogs are routinely trained to perform a specific task at a particular time, their brain gets used to that practice. Whenever the time gets close for that exercise, the dogs will do that particular task that they have been trained to do. Therefore, one can train a dog to bark, cuddle, or kiss at a specific time, and this will become an alarm clock.
  2. Playing a drop and fetch game with your dog can also be a source of happiness. After a busy day at work, you can take your dog to the backyard and use tennis balls to play with your dog. Throwing the balls down or far away with the dogs chasing after the balls to fetch them and bring them back to you brings great happiness.

Different types of dog breeds provide varying degrees of simple pleasure. Some of the best dog breeds for someone wanting a pet are:

  1. White Labradors

White Labradors are one of the most popular breeds found in Canada, the United States, the United Kingdom, and Australia. These dogs are a good fit for human beings. These dogs are also protective, loyal, sweet, and lovable, thus worth spending time with.

Snowy Pines White Labradors have specific genes that enable the offspring to resemble their parents. These genes cause unique variation in the Labradors making them well adapted to various conditions. The owners of Snowy Pines White Labradors have a dedication to preserving breed characteristics, thus producing healthy and well-socialized puppies.  All of their dogs have been OFA certified for hips and elbows; along with full genetic panels.

  1. Bichon Frise

The Bichon Frise is a small dog that weighs about 5 – 10kg. The skulls of these dogs are slightly rounded, and the dogs do not have a pointed muzzle. Bichon Frise is a cheerful dog that is a good option for merrymaking. The dogs are gently mannered, playful, affectionate, and sensitive. Their intelligence plays a vital role during outings and helps bring a lot of joy and happiness.

  1. Papillon Dog

Papillons are self-assured dogs that have exceptional intelligence. These dogs take a short time to learn new tricks and ideas. They are friendly dogs with strangers and children. The dogs can also get along with other pets, but care should be taken to avoid inter-pet conflicts. Their playful and affectionate nature makes them a great pet.

  1. King Charles Spaniel

King Charles Spaniels have domed heads, short noses, and lines of black skin around their mouths. These dogs are friendly, and they are typically suitable as watchdogs. The Spaniels can easily tolerate other pets; they can play with these pets during outings. It is an intelligent dog and can be used for obedience work at home.

  1. Maltese 

The Maltese are small and have rounded skulls. They usually grow to a height of about 7 – 10 inches. These dogs are good for companionship. They are extremely lively and playful, especially at their middle age. The Maltese are always active in an enclosed environment, especially in small backyards.

We should endeavor to make ourselves happy daily. This happiness can be simply obtained by having a dog or other pet share our lives. Pet can be the best sources for these simple pleasures.

4 Reasons Why Going on Vacation Will Make You a Happier Person

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by Steve Conway

Summer is nearly upon us, and you shouldn’t really need an excuse to start looking for vacations but if you do, we’ve got the perfect reason right here – going on holiday is proven to make you happier.

If you’re looking for a mood booster, there is very little more effective than jetting off somewhere for a week or two to do nothing but enjoy warm weather, eat what you want and not have to get up when that alarm goes off at 7am every morning.

In the unlikely event that you still need selling on the benefits of going on vacation, then here are four reasons that it will make you a happier person.

You’ll be able to switch off from the pressures of everyday life

Vacations give us a break from the everyday routine and let us leave all our worries behind. There’s no rushing to get the kids to school on time or 11pm emails from Steve in accounts about an impending work disaster that is going to hit the fan the next morning. Sitting on a beach with a tropical cocktail that tastes better than paradise or traipsing through the wilderness on one of the best hiking trails in America’s National Park will leave you completely disconnected from the pressure of everyday life, clearing your mind and leaving you to concentrate on only one thing: enjoying yourself.

You can head for brilliant sunshine

Science has proven that sunshine is a natural mood enhancer so that of course means that heading to a sun-soaked destination on vacation is going to make you a happier person. It’s all about the vitamin D and endorphins in sunlight, which makes a couple of weeks lounging around on a golden beach the perfect way to lift your mood. If you don’t think you can afford to jet off on the holiday of the lifetime to a Caribbean island, then have a look at taking out one of Bonsai Finance’s personal loans in order to fund your dream vacation – you can’t put a price on happiness after all.

Rest, rest and more rest

Relaxation and happiness go together like hand and glove and you won’t find a more relaxing experience than a vacation. There’s no alarm waking you up at an ungodly hour, you just roll out of bed whenever you feel like it. You can get the full recommended quota of sleep – and more – which allows you to rest your tired body and mind to the point where you’ll return home completely rejuvenated. It’s sheer bliss.

You can eat what you want

One of the big stresses of modern-day life comes in dieting. We’re constantly under pressure to watch our calories, eat healthily and make sure we don’t put on any weight. None of that matters when you go on holiday. You can eat out and try delicious local delicacies every day of the week with a guilt-free pass for food that you’d normally have to pass over at home. Steak and eggs? Eat it. Like the look of that ice cream? Buy two. The normal rules of restraint don’t apply when you’re on vacation and that’s what makes it so much fun.

Bio: Guest Post by Steve Conway, a techie by profession and a passionate traveler who loves to soak up the sun, swim in azure waters and explore far-off destinations that hold the promise of great adventure.