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The Benefit of Pets… To Many to Even Count!

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Quote About the Benefit of Pets

Quote About the Benefit of Pets!

During the pandemic, I’ve noticed many changes in people’s lives and in the way they look at life in general. One thing seems to be a return to the love of and focus on HOME. As I often say, this is actually one of the rare beautiful things that has come out of what is overall a complete nightmare. More people have realized the importance of making their home as beautiful, comfortable, and enjoyable as possible.

Basically, everyone has refocused their attention to making home a place they want to be.

If I can make a confessions, this has always been at the core of who I am simply because I am quite the home body! It is, however, interesting to see more people searching for ways to make their home a more fun, comfortable, and happy place to be.

I’ve also noticed more people seeking out companionship – possibly more than ever before. I think there are several reasons for this:

  • During bad times, we are reminded that family (which pets most certainly are, in addition to humans!) is absolutely everything. Not possessions, not appearance, not money… they’re fine and good, of course, but the ones who make us smile and FEEL the most are the ones who breathe.
  • Some people are feeling more lonely than ever. Tragically, many people lost loved ones during the past few years, but there’s another (nearly as tragic) phenomenon… many have lost friends and relationships due to the insanely frustrating division that have occurred the past few years.
  • People are socializing less and, again, spending more time at home. The amazing (and I think wonderful) thing is, not all of them are home more often because they think it’s healthier… many are home more often because they realize it’s a happier place to be!

This is where pets can can come in like the little superheroes they are. I have had pets all of my life and cannot imagine a home without them. My only experience with “coming home’ to a place where at least one pet doesn’t meet me at the door has been hotels and, quite frankly, it’s a cold feeling when you’re accustomed to warm greetings!

While I caution that one should always be completely certain they have the time, energy, and affection for adding a furry member to their family… (more about that in a minute) I simply couldn’t recommend it more. Their love and companionship are immeasurable and the entertainment they provide is greater than any movie (even westerns!).

Before adding a cat or dog, please consider:

  • Pets are completely dependent upon you. You have to have time and patience and be willing to feed them, clean up after them, and potty train them… basically they’re babies covered in fur!
  • Realize that things like dog or cat food, litter boxes, litter, vet visits, immunizations, and toys (animals love toys as much as human kids) will require an increase to your spending. Trust me, they give back FAR more than they take.
  • Make sure you have the space required and can provide them with a safe and happy environment.
  • Make your mind up to provide for them (find a loving home) IF things don’t work out. PLEASE never turn a cat or dog loose to fend for themselves. It’s a cruel thing to do – and an animal shelter isn’t much better. IF things don’t work out for whatever reasons and you’ve given it a few weeks, find a loving home by asking around and even putting notifications on Facebook, in local veterinarian offices, etc.

More times than not (MANY more times than not), when you give a precious animal a forever home and forever family… you find yourself asking, “Okay. Who rescued who, here?!”

I hope you consider adopting a cat (or two!) or dog (or two!) from your local animal shelter. You won’t only be adding to your family with a face you’ll wonder how you ever lived without… you’ll be literally saving a life (or two!).

~ Joi (“Joy”)

Tulip and Huck

Two of my babies!

One Can Make a Difference: How You Can BE the Change You Want to See in the World

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The review below is for one of the most inspiring and wonderful books I’ve read and reviewed over the years. I am editing it a bit and republishing it today. Why? Because, frankly, I believe we need bold, brazened, on-fire for the right reasons people more than ever before and if reading these stories lights a fire under even just one person, it will be more than worth it.

After all… well… One Can Make a Difference. ~ Joi (“Joy”)

I want to tell you about an inspiring book I know you’ll love as much as I do. It’s pictured on the right and linked to several times below.  It may sound flowery (fortunately I love flowers, so that won’t slow me down) – but I believe this book will, in some way, touch every single one of my tomorrows.  I’d love to see millions of tomorrows similarly touched, because I believe the result would be a better world for everyone and everything.

So, you find yourself on the fringe of a post telling you why you HAVE to read this book.

One Can Make a Difference: Original stories by the Dali Lama, Paul McCartney, Willie Nelson, Dennis Kucinch, Russel Simmons, Bridgitte Bardot, Martina … Dozens of Other Extraordinary Individuals is a remarkable book, filled with information, inspiration, and motivation.  In its pages, you’ll read about real life heroes and heroines.  People who weren’t born remarkable, but through determination and compassion did their part in changing the world.

Everyday people just like you and me who put their mind to doing extraordinary things.

A Few of the Stories That Touched Me the Most:

  • Carol Buckley cofounded The Elephant Sanctuary in 1995.  The acres and acres of land in Tennessee are home to elephants who had been in circuses or zoos.  Elephants.com has pictures of these beautiful elephants, as well as a web cam, a gift shop, opportunities for support, and addictively interesting stories about each of the elephants – with pictures to help you fall even more in love with each.   In One Can Make a Difference, Carol Buckley tells about one of her elephants that loved to make Orange Juice.  She also details the very special elephant that led to this amazing sanctuary.
  • Kevin Bacon tells how, at first, he didn’t know what to think about the game Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon.  When he realized that it was, in fact, flattering to have a game named after you, he realized something else:  With a heart full of genuine care for the world around him, he wanted very much to do his part to make a difference.  Thanks to this game, he now had an “angle” or as he calls it a “brand,” to launch a charitable organization and website called Six Degrees.org.  This very talented actor and family man details how this all came about.
  • Reverend Al Sharpton’s essay was also fascinating.  I especially loved his words of motivation:  The only person you ever have to conquer in life is not your enemy, it’s yourself.  And once you conquer yourself, your ego, your vanity, your misplaced overestimation – once you conquer yourself, then you can fight for a higher purpose and conquer what it is you’re supposed to conquer and realize that’s what your purpose is.

We define success by what we have, not by what we did.  But the only success in life is what you did.  Because whatever you have, you could lose, and whatever you have, somebody else could have more.  But nobody can take from you what you did. – Al Sharpton

  • Rebecca Hosking tells of the unbelievable impact plastic has on the environment.  I read her essay twice to make sure I was getting the full impact.  PlanetArk.com helps educate people about keeping our environment healthy, clean, beautiful and, frankly, about what we can to do keep from turning our earth into one big giant dump.
  • Oliver Stone’s essay was another one that was spellbinding.  He, like every single essayist in the book, had me putting pen to paper – I put the words onto paper as they put the words in my heart.  Oliver Stone tells how he has been led by ghosts, how they encourage him to make a difference.  Interestingly enough, he was also one of the first people to sign a petition asking NASA to stop sending monkeys into space.
  • Petra Nemcova tells of her horrible ordeal after the tsunami struck Thailand (she lost the love of her life and suffered a broken pelvis).  The experience made her better rather than bitter and a lot of LOVE, literally came from the devastation.  She now focuses her life on helping children who have suffered loss and pain from hardships all over the world.  She’s a classic example of being as beautiful inside as she is outside – and that’s saying something in her case!
  • Martina Navratilova talks about fair play, Russell Simmons talks about respect, and Willie Nelson addresses the subject of self-reliance.

There are far too many individuals and even more subjects to even think about covering in one post.  I guarantee that they’ll be mentioned in future posts, however.  Their stories have become a part of me.  I’ve always fancied myself one of the overly zealous “We can change the world” crowd… but now? Ready to take the ills of the world with a toothbrush!

One Final Thought:

It’s wrong that, very often, people who are trying to make the world a better place are looked upon as eccentrics.  Believing (rightfully so) that helpless animals shouldn’t be abused doesn’t make an individual crazy, it makes them compassionate.  The author of the book, Ingrid E. Newkirk, is also the founder and president of PETA.  So, she knows a thing or two about controversy.

I admit that when people are on the front lines doing battle for what they believe in, they sometimes seem to go “too far.”  But I’d rather they go too far than to not go at all!   The next time a PETA ad generates a snicker or two, challenge yourself to think about all of the animals that have been saved because of this organization…. of all the needless suffering and pain PETA has brought to an end.  If your own pet were being abused, wouldn’t you want PETA to ride in to its rescue?

I certainly would!

This book is one of the best books you’ll ever read.  So what are you waiting for?!  Order it today and, within a week, you will have opened a whole new world! When you click through to the book on Amazon, you’ll find several options for buying the book. There are many available “used,” which is one of my favorite ways to buy books!

One Can Make a Difference: (Amazon link) Original stories by the Dali Lama, Paul McCartney, Willie Nelson, Dennis Kucinch, Russel Simmons, Bridgitte Bardot, Martina … Dozens of Other Extraordinary Individual

Kleiser Quote

Quote of the Day – Quote About Making a Difference

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Quote about Making a Difference

Quote About Making a Difference

“If you bang your head against a brick wall long enough, the wall will fall.  And once you start banging your head against that wall, others will join you.” – Ingrid E. Newkirk, One Can Make a Difference

You know how you normally say, “I just read this book…” or “I just read that book.” In regards to the book this quote was pulled from, One Can Make a Difference, by Ingrid E. Newkirk, the appropriate quote is, “This book recently changed me.”

Amazing book. Amazing Amazing book.


Back to School: Making Masks Easier for Children

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First of all, rest assured, this is not a preachy post and I have ZERO intention of telling anyone how to live their life in any fashion. I also will not EVER take something like a virus and life and death situations and politicize them.

I like to think I’m a better person…. and smarter!… than that.

I’m also not here to say with absolute certainty that this way or that way is the perfect way. From my vantage point, when it comes to getting out of this horrific pandemic and to outrunning the COVID virus nationally and internationally, there is no ONE right way. There are only attempts – multiple attempts – to keep as many people safe and well as possible.

There are only attempts to keep from overwhelming out hospitals and hard-working, dedicated medical professionals.

There are only attempts to keep the precious children in our lives from being traumatized or negatively affected any more than they already have been WHILE keeping them as safe and as healthy as possible. Like immunization shots for a 1 year old, keeping children safe isn’t always pretty to behold. Sometimes it gets downright sad and you just want to jump in there and save them from any discomfort or pain.

Thing is, the very temporary  thing we want to save them from is often the thing that will save them from a far worse fate.

Again, I’m not here to debate anything… masks included. Do I have my own opinions? Of course. And I will go ahead and say that I, personally, believe masks are effective. I’ve believed it all along (after all we’re talking about a respiratory virus, after all) but my beliefs were confirmed when (after the masks were lifted and removed) numbers went through the roof again.

For those who say that social distancing would be as effective – I agree, social distancing would be as effective. However, we can’t always determine how close someone gets to us in public and we darn sure can’t assume kids will adhere to distancing themselves from anyone.

Those little cuties want to get right up on everyone!

I know it can be debated, too, that children don’t get “as sick” as adults but, frankly, I raised three daughters and cannot remember ever thinking… “Oh, shucks, I’m going to let them play with those kids who have the flu… after all, my girls won’t get that sick.” I have three grandbabies now and cannot for the life of me imagine be willing to expose them to a virus simply because they MAY NOT get “as sick” as adults.

Sometimes the solution to a problem isn’t very attractive, but if you compare it to the alternative, it gets a little bit more agreeable.

Again, there is no one clear RIGHT answer to any of this. Chances are when your child (grandchild, niece, nephew, brother, sister…) starts the school year here in a matter of days, he or she will be required to wear a mask.

Below are a few tips that can help them… because, let’s be adults, here… they are absolutely the ones we should be thinking about:

  • Try to never EVER talk in an angry manner (and, for Heaven’s sakes, don’t cry!) about masks or mask mandates in front of your child. Children (of all ages) are incredibly, incredibly sensitive and will pick up on your emotions. What they pick up on will greatly effect their own emotions and outlook. Regardless of your personal feelings (and, trust me, I understand completely – the thought of children, especially small ones, having to wear masks all day breaks my heart)… be as strong as you’ve ever been in your life and treat it all as an adventure, something that, while temporary, has to be done. The children in our lives very often reflect us and if you’re stressed, angry, and overwhelmed, they will be as well. That’s the last thing they need to deal with on top of the stress of a new school year… which is, of course, on top of the pandemic!
  • When you talk about masks, try very hard to be as matter of fact as possible. The bigger an issue you make of it, the bigger an issue it will be to them.
  • Keep in mind how incredibly resilient and adaptable children are. They always amaze me at how they adjust and adapt – they do so far better than those of us who consider ourselves adults!
  • If your child has a health issue that would prohibit them from wearing a mask for extended periods of time, talk to your child’s physician and educators to find the best solution. I have (and have always had) chronic asthma and would not (today or as a child) be able to wear a mask for extended periods of time. I have no idea what could be done to help a child with asthma, but something would desperately need to be done. What seems like “no big deal,” to an asthmatic is a big deal. Yes, you can still breath through the mask, but… and remember, I know what I’m talking about, here, first hand… when you have asthma, even the slightest reduction in oxygen flow seems like you’re breathing through a collapsed straw. Children with anxiety would also need to have special considerations. Please talk to doctors and educators about the best thing for your child. If they are unwilling to help you, you will have a big decision to make – one I know that will put your child’s needs first.
  • As an asthmatic, I’ve found that disposable masks often feel less restrictive. My youngest daughter has clinical anxiety and has also found that disposable ones feel better to her. You just have to make sure you have a really, really good number of these masks and be sure to throw them away each day. It’s very unhealthy to wear one more than one day at a time. Amazon has wonderful Disposable Kids Masks in a wide variety of colors. Kids would get a kick out of matching them to their different outfits.
  • Children who are a little hard of hearing and tend to read lips also will need special consideration. If this is an issue for your child, be sure to talk to his/her teachers and ask for their help. Given that teachers have so many children to take care of, it may be something you need to mention several times over the weeks or months that masks will be in use. You could always simply say, “Thanks again so much for helping my child with this situation…”
  • Show your child photos of children wearing masks and being happy – SHOW them that it’s all going to be okay. They need this from you right now more than anything. BE the positive energy they need to feed on.
  • Finally, let your child pick out masks they like. Not only do stores have a wide selection of children’s masks, Amazon has MANY in different colors and styles. There are masks for every interest. Children love to express themselves, whether they’re in 1st grade or high school and masks allow them to do just that. Be sure to get them a good number of masks, so that one is always washed, dried, and ready to go. Some of the coolest, most FUN children’s face masks can be found here. Again, kids will get a kick out of matching masks to their outfits and favorite sports teams.

Whether it’s mask mandates, vaccine controversies, closed restaurants, quarantine, or any of the other things that have become part of our daily routines, remember this – we WILL get through this. There will be better days…. normal days… and we will never take a single one of them for granted! Everything is going to be better one day, and I believe that one day will be very soon. In the meantime, try to keep the best attitude and outlook you can.

Keep your sense of humor as much as humanly possible and don’t let any of the stress make you turn into someone that would have horrified you two years ago. Becoming a bitter, angry, and judgmental person does NOT have to be anyone’s destiny, no matter how ugly the valley is.

I know much too smart to let that happen!

Remember we are all in this together – none of us are the enemy… the virus is the enemy and it will take all of us to kick it’s vile butt to the curb!

Make each moment count double,

~ Joi (“Joy”)


Positive Feedback vs. Negative Feedback and the Effect Each Has on Our Lives

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Quote About Being Yourself

I’m about halfway through a wonderful book, How to Think Like a Millionaire (I hope to have the review up soon!).  It’s one of those books where you find yourself, not only taking notes, but closing the book every now and again just to let everything soak in.  After this morning’s reading, I was basically a sponge.

I just finished a section on Positive Feedback vs Negative Feedback and the impact they have upon our subconscious mind and the absolute power our subconscious mind has over our lives.  Everything rises and falls according to the strength of our subconscious mind, so keeping positive and life-affirming thoughts therein could make ALL the difference.

The Live-Changing Power of Positive Feedback

When I got up from reading to make my husband breakfast, I was still thinking about what I had read.  I realized how, in my own life, positive feedback had a huge impact on me.  My mom and dad were forever telling me what a “good” child I was, how they never had to worry about me getting into trouble, and so on.  That early reinforcement, I’m sure, had a great deal to do with the fact that I never DID get into any trouble.  When I was in my 30’s, a few months before I lost my father – my dad told one of his nurses that the only trouble I ever gave him or my mom was one solitary speeding ticket.

I told him at the time that it was because I was perfect – but I’m absolutely sure that’s not completely honest!

I believe that the same scenario plays out for kids who are constantly told that they’re “bad,” “difficult,” or “spoiled.”  They live down to those words the way the lucky kids live up to the ones they hear.

As I kept thinking, I realized another area where positive feedback affected me greatly.  I believe that one of the reasons I ever fancied myself a writer had to do with things my aunt told me years and years ago.  Penny (my mom’s sister and an aunt I’ve always been VERY close to) and her husband (Bobby – LOVE him too!) had to move to another state when I was really young.  It was really hard on all of us, but Bobby had an amazing offer in Ohio that he would have been a fool to say no to.  He’s the master of corny jokes, but a fool he’s not.

When they left, I missed them terribly, so we started writing a lot of letters to one another – oh, to have had e-mail and social media back then!  When they came home for Christmas, she went on and on about how much my letters meant to her and Bobby.  She said she always looked forward to them and saved each one.  When she said they “made her smile” because they were like visiting with me, I began to associate true, beautiful power with words.

Many years later, when I got married and we had to move to Kansas, I had a lot more letters to write.  I still wrote to Penny, but I also wrote to my parents and my grandmother.  Each one of them always told me how much they loved reading my letters, how they kept them and often re-read them.  My grandmother even told me how she read them to her friends, and that they enjoyed my “way with words.”

Positive Feedback, friends.

Somewhere along the way, I came to believe that all of my loved ones were right and I’ve had a fascination with words and writing since.

When I handed my smiling husband his breakfast, I thought of yet another area of positive feedback touching my life. Early in my marriage, I fell head over heels in love with cooking.  I started collecting cookbooks and even began coming up with my own recipes.  He’d often have his single friends over to our house for supper.  I often overheard him talking about my “wonderful” cooking and it made me believe I was the greatest cook in the world.  The fact that he and our daughters are always so complimentary about my meals, desserts, bread, etc. only makes me love cooking more and more.

I am very, very blessed that the people I love most in this world have always made me feel like I could do anything. It makes me very sad to think there are others out there who don’t have this positive feedback in their life.

A Lack of Positive Feedback

I wonder if one of the main reasons people become discouraged and give up is because they don’t get enough positive feedback. Think about the stereotypical scenario of the couple who has been together for several years. She begins to feel he doesn’t love her or think she’s pretty simply because he has stopped saying the words. The positive feedback, early in the relationship, built her confidence up SO high that when the words stopped, she came crashing down, bewildered and even wondering what she’s doing wrong.

The same could be said of children, co-workers, and just about anyone you could name. Children often give up because they don’t feel appreciated. Co-workers and friends get to the point that they quit trying because nothing they do is ever good enough.

The Pitfalls of Negative Feedback

The only thing more dangerous than a lack of positive feedback is a steady stream of negative feedback. When a spouse, daughter, son, friend, co-worker, etc. only hears negative comments – they begin to believe the words and come to believe that they are as worthless as the comments say they are. Many even tune the negativity out to a certain degree, after all, who wants to constantly hear how worthless, stupid, wrong, irresponsible, or bad they are?!?! But it goes much deeper than them tuning it out. They begin to believe it. When someone believes the worst about themselves, they stop even trying.

However, if they get positive feedback – even if it’s for the smallest possible thing – their confidence and self worth begin to grow. After they’ve gotten enough positive feedback, they begin to give themselves MORE of the same feedback, then… look out!

The Most Important Feedback of All

As important as the feedback we get from others is, it’s not the most vital feedback. That feedback is the one we feed ourselves. The words we say to ourselves, usually inside our own minds, determine how successful we will or will not be. We are, basically, what we think we are.

The words below are just some of the words we use to cripple ourselves:

  • I’m too old
  • I’m too fat
  • I’m not smart enough
  • I never catch any breaks
  • I don’t have enough money
  • Nobody loves me
  • I’m lonely
  • I can’t do anything
  • I’m so depressed
  • I am so sick and tired of…
  • My live sucks!

When we feed ourselves words like this, we’re feeding ourselves a type of poison. Anyone who feeds these words to another person (especially someone they supposedly love) should be even more ashamed.

Start thinking more about the feedback you give to others and to yourself.  The words you say to and about the people around you makes them better or makes them worse.  If you beat them down, that’s where they’ll stay.  If you build them up, that’s the direction in which they’ll grow.

Now let’s change the pronouns a little:  If you beat yourself down, that’s where you’ll stay.  If you build yourself up, that’s the direction in which you’ll grow.  How far can you and I grow?  As far as we want to!

How to Think Like a Millionaire

The book below, How to Think Like a Millionaire is a must-read as far as I’m concerned. It’s all about altering your mindset – the millionaire part has absolutely nothing to do with it. What matters is believing that you deserved the best from life… because you absolutely do.