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Self Help Hacks

How to Overcome Anxiety at Bedtime and Get a Better Night’s Sleep

May 23, 2016 by Joi Leave a Comment

Sleep Problem: Anxiety

How to Overcome Anxiety at Bedtime and Get a Better Night’s Sleep

Did you know that May is Better Sleep Month? I didn’t realize it until speaking with someone from Casper. Casper is the most awarded mattress of the century. They were even named one of Time Magazine’s Best Inventions of 2015.

Think they know a thing or two about the importance of sleep? I’d say so.  As Arianna Huffington pointed out in Casper’s Sleep Symposium, “Many of us are so used to being tired all the time that we think that is the new norm. If you go to Google and type in ‘Why am I…’ Do you know what is the most common autocomplete? ‘Why am I so tired?'”

There are various sleep problems that keep us from getting a restful, healing night’s sleep. We’re going to look at a few of them as we close out May. The one I wanted to tackle first it Anxiety.

Why? Because, judging from the e-mail I receive, it’s one of the biggest sleep problems people are experiencing.

We know the basics when it comes to “setting the stage” for a great night’s sleep:

  • Comfortable mattress, pillows, sheets, and covers.
  • Comfortable sleepwear.
  • Keeping your bedroom dark. Our mind, naturally, associated darkness with sleep and light with being awake. This is part of the reason iPads and other devices are such a bad idea at bedtime. Your eyes “register” the light and your brain receives the wrong signal.
  • Comfortable room temperature. Experts suggest that 65 degrees is the best temperature for sleep.
  • Turning off all electronic devices at least 10 minutes before lying down… and (even more importantly) keeping them off!

The problem with anxiety, however, is the fact that its victim can set the stage and still not fall asleep or stay asleep. The reason is they can’t turn off their mind as easily as they can turn off the lights. The light and devices go off, the brain stays on… very much on.

The good news is this is not how the story ends. Not from a long shot. Below are tips that will, I hope, help you get a better night’s sleep if you suffer from any type of anxiety.

Start Thinking About Bedtime at Least Two Hours Before You Hit the Sheets

This may seem kind of odd, but stick with me, it’s actually vital. It’s all about unwinding – or to be more exact – winding down.  If you’re in the habit of watching dramas, action movies, ballgames, or (yikes!) the evening news right before bedtime, you aren’t setting the stage for restful sleep.  I’m not suggesting you give these up… not at all. As a baseball fanatic, I’d just dare anyone to try to get between me and my ballgames!

I understand, nighttime television viewing is a wonderful way to relax after a long day. What I’m suggesting is this – construct a “bridge” between the high-energy tv viewing and bedtime. Depending upon your personal level of anxiety, the prognosis of going from HIGH energy to sleep within a reasonable time frame is about as realistic as the tooth fairy.

You could begin, at the end of your television viewing, reading for thirty minutes. Some people enjoy turning on something incredibly relaxing like the Weather Channel or golf to close out the day. You could even begin recording your favorite cooking show and watching an episode each night before bed. Cooking shows are off the chart relaxing.

Two hours before bedtime, cut off all caffeine. If you battle anxiety, you probably have already cut back on caffeine (smart move) – but make certain you don’t have any for at least two hours before you go to bed. As for food, try not to eat much before bedtime. Digesting requires energy and the e-word is the last thing you want when you’re trying to sleep.

Try Listening to Calming, Relaxing Music

There are countless relaxation apps (just be sure you put your device away when you lie down!) with soothing music. You could also go “old school” and listen to a cd or even relaxing music YouTube. If you search for Japanese Garden Music on YouTube, you will not be disappointed.

As the graphic above suggests, you could find a meditation app and use it right before bedtime.

Nature sounds are also blissfully relaxing. There are apps for these as well. Personally, I love a good old-fashioned fan. In fact, I associate the sound of a fan with sleep so soundly that, in the summer, I have to be careful turning one on in my home office. I made the mistake one day last August and it took me three hours to accomplish one post.

And it was a short one!

Turn off Your Thought Factory

Okay, I’ll go ahead and admit it – I do not battle anxiety, so this is easy for me to say. From what I’ve heard (from readers as well as family members), there is no flip switch on anxious thoughts. Instead of turning thoughts off, let’s just think of turning the channel on our thoughts. If you tend to have worrisome thoughts at bedtime, you’re going to have to outsmart them.

Here’s a cool mental exercise: Think of a small white poodle. It’s a little girl poodle with a pink bow on top of her hair. She’s lying on a big pink pillow and looking cuter than she has a right to look. Now think of a plate of spaghetti. The noodles are mounded up and topped off with a delicious, meaty sauce with mushrooms, onions, and garlic. You better believe it’s topped with Parmesan cheese!

You went from FiFi on a pillow to dinner in the blink of an eye. Why? Because your brain is an incredible machine, that’s why!

In the same way you just switched channels on your thoughts, do so the next time you’re lying in bed thinking of the electric bill, Christmas shopping, your daughter’s ridiculous new haircut, your husband’s spending habits…. switch the thought channel and focus (not just think… focus) on a favorite color, visions of the sky, the sound of rain on a summer afternoon… Pick one thing that is relaxing or satisfying to you and focus entirely on it.

Just be sure you stick with one. If you start out thinking about one, then your brain gets cute and tries to switch to another, you’re going to be annoyed and, worst of all, as anxious as you were before.

Use Imagery

This one is my personal favorite – which is why I saved it for last. While apps, music, fans, etc, can be a wonderful place to start – your ultimate goal is to be able to control your own destiny when it comes to sleep. When you get to where you can unwind and slide deliciously into a restful night’s sleep without the aid of any device or sound, you’ll be in complete control and that’s a wonderful place to be.

After my mother died in 2006, I developed horrible sleep problems. Like those of you with anxiety, my brain would NOT turn off and it was a hideous ordeal. It’s even worse for people who deal with anxiety because a lack of sleep makes their anxiety worse. They pay for it the next day when they aren’t able to sleep. It’s a vicious cycle!

When I went through this period of time, I dreaded bedtime because it felt like a battle each night.  I finally found a trick that worked for me and I believe it can work for anyone who needs a little help shutting off their brain at night. I decided to try something “visual.” I looked through the photographs on my phone – looking for one that evoked a feeling of peacefulness and relaxation.

When I came across a picture of a beautiful lake, I knew I’d found just what I needed. I studied the picture and began, each night, to visualize the photograph. The peaceful setting brought about relaxation but that was only half the magic. Focusing on the picture instead of the pain was probably even more important. If you don’t have personal pictures that do the trick, look through magazines, books, or even do a Google Image search for “relaxing pictures.” You’ll turn up lakes, birds, candles, oceans, etc – just find the one that whispers, “Relaxation” to you.

Use Essential Oils and Aromatherapy

A lot of people, me included, swear by aromatherapy for improving your sleep. Click the link to find out how to use aromatherapy and essential oils to make your sleep as sweet as it can possibly be!

Make Your Busy Mind Work FOR You Instead of AGAINST You

On the playground of minds, anxious minds are in the hyper-active crowd. Busy, busy, busy. So, if this is something you can’t fight, go with it. If your brain refuses to shut off at night, another trick is to focus on an activity.  Some minds are simply too busy to use a relaxing image (like the suggestion above). These busy bee minds need to buzz a little more. If this is the case for you, go ahead and think… just think creatively.

Here’s one exercise: Close your eyes and relive one of the best days you ever had. See the sights, smell the smells, hear the sounds, and feel the emotions. Focus your energy on that day.

Here’s another: Close your eyes and focus on the darkness until an object takes shape. The first one to take shape may be a ball or a star. The next may be more detailed, like a bird or tree. The images and shapes will fade in and out of “view” and (trust me) it’s completely relaxing.

Here’s another: This exercise should probably come under its own category heading, but it’s too late to turn back now. Get comfortable – with your pillow just right and your arms just where they ought to be…. close your eyes.. now imagine that your toes are being massaged. The masseuse is using warm lotion and is working slowly across each toe. Now imagine that the process is carried up to the arches of your feet… then the heels… (by this time your eyes may be rolling into the back of your head). I’ve tried this exercise many times and have NEVER even made it to my knees.

Remember: It’s a Process

As you try each of the above suggestions, remember that it’s a process. You’re a professor and you’re in the lab looking for the cure. You may not find it right off the bat.. then again, you may do just that.

Keep looking until you find your own magic key to unlock the sweetest sleep you’ve ever had.

Thanks to Casper for the image above and the inspiration to write this article!

Wishing you sweet sleep!

~ Joi

Filed Under: Health, Problem Solving, Self Help Hacks Tagged With: anxiety, better sleep, how to sleep better, improve your sleep, sleep problems

Self Help Hack: Simplest Way to Make a New Habit Stick

April 14, 2016 by Joi Leave a Comment

I have fallen woefully behind with adding “Self Help Hacks” to the self help blog. Woe-Full-Leeeee behind. Sorry about that, but here’s one that I think might just have been worth the wait.

Making a New Habit STICK

Adding healthy, positive, beneficial habits to our day can sometimes fall as off track as I did with my “Self Help Hacks.”  Our intentions are grand, but… well… life happens.

Over many years (never you mind how many) of the beginning habits/losing habits/re-beginning habits cycle, I’ve happened upon a simple trick that greatly increases the new habits life expectancy.

  1. Think of a habit you do daily – one that is so regular you hardly even think about it… you just do it. This might be brushing your teeth (morning or night), reading your Bible, checking Twitter first thing in the morning, feeding your cat…
  2. Start doing your new habit immediately after this “regular” habit.
  3. It’ll take a few weeks but, if you’re consistent, your new positive habit will be just as commonplace and regular as the old one.

Bonus Hack: If you want to read more, have a book nearby at all times. Set books by your bed, beside your den chair or spot on the couch, near your computer, etc. Seeing the book lying there – all inviting and all – will serve as a reminder to pick it up and dive in.

Which reminds me, I need to sign off now – mustn’t EVER keep Agatha Christie waiting…

~ Joi

 

Books

Filed Under: Positive Thought, Self Awareness, Self Help Hacks Tagged With: making new habits stick, self help hack

How to Read More Often AND How to Get More Out of Reading

March 4, 2015 by Joi 3 Comments

Quote About Books
 

If one of your New Year’s Resolutions was to read more, I hope you’re just blazing a trail right through a string of amazing books! If you fell off a little bit over the past few weeks, I  hope I can help you get back on track.

First a few things about reading:

  • Reading is, to the mind, what travel is to the body. It opens up a whole new world!
  • Reading has been proven to help a GREAT deal in the prevention of dementia, including Alzheimer’s Disease.
  • If you read inspirational books, they can help lift your spirits to new heights.
  • As wonderful as books are, remember that reading is only as valuable as the books you read.  Reading bad books isn’t really much better than not reading any books at all.

 The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can’t read. – Mark Twain

How to Read More Often

If finding time for reading is an issue for you, I have a few suggestions.

  1. Keep a book near one of your favorite spots.  For example, I’m almost always reading more than one book at a time. I’m always (and when I say always, I mean always!) in the middle of an Agatha Christie mystery, so I keep her nearby at all times. I’m also, at any given time, reading a cookbook or book about cooking/food, a historical non-fiction book (history buff), and a self help related book (usually to review for Self Help Daily).  I keep the cookbook or food-related book in the kitchen, so I can read it during lunch or breakfast – sometime during the day when it’s just me and my cat Alexa dining.  I keep the historical non-fiction book near my chair in the den, and the self help related book is kept by my bed.  Wherever I happen to be, during the day, I have a book nearby. It really doesn’t take a lot of time to read a chapter, after all, and they can be slipped in at just about any given time.
  2. Fall in love with reading e-Books! Whether you have a Kindle or download books to your iPad or iPod, this is the ultimate way to keep your book with you at all times. I have a Kindle, but I also download books right to my iPad, so it’s convenient to keep Hercule Poirot with me at all times.  In celebration of National Reading Month, Amazon’s Kindle is just $59, twenty dollars less than the regular price. Amazon is also the perfect spot to order your books – whether they’re physical books or downloadable books. Amazon also has you covered for the next suggestion…
  3. Two words: Audio Books.  Audio books are a dream come true for a lot of people – people who are on the road a lot, people with attention spans that tend to wander, and people who aren’t just busy, but darn busy!  You can listen to your book being read to you while driving, doing dishes, taking a bath, doing chores, etc. It’s still “reading” and it’s still gaining information and, when applicable, inspiration and motivation.
  4. Set goals.  Pick a book you’d really love to read and set a deadline. Map out the number of chapters and the amount of time you’ll devote to each. Most people will rise up to a goal, even if it’s one they set themselves.
  5. Choose a reading buddy.  Plan to begin reading a certain book with a friend or family member, with each grabbing their own copy of the book. People always watch tv shows and discuss them, why not treat books the same way? I’m in the middle of a WONDERFUL book, John Adams, by David McCullough and I often wish someone I knew were reading it as well. The topics of conversation would be epic.  This book is available in every conceivable format on Amazon and, I just can’t possibly say enough good things about it. This is a book to end all books.
  6. Read about what interests you.  I am a huge history buff, so I can’t get enough of historical books, biographies, and autobiographies.  I’m such a history nut, I could read a History text book just for fun. And I have.  Think of a subject (or subjects) that interest you, then search out books relating to this subject(s).
  7. Explore different Fiction niches and authors. If you don’t think you’d enjoy reading fiction, try a few different authors and even niches before you swear off fiction entirely.  You’ll probably come across a particular author and think, “Now I want to read everything this author wrote!”
  8. Get a Library Card and Use it.  Whether you prefer fiction or non-fiction, you’ll probably find that visiting a library is just as fun as an adult as it was when you were a kid. More so, actually, because we actually LIKE quiet now.  Library trips can be the most tranquil and relaxing part of your week – especially if you find a comfy chair or table and dive right in… to the chair and the book.
  9. Make Reading a Personal Retreat.  Set aside a time where you grab a cup of coffee or tea and escape with your book. It’ll become a time that you look forward to each day.
  10. Get great ideas for books to read from book reviews. You can find killer non-fiction book reviews AND fiction book reviews online.

How to Get More Out of What You Read

To read without reflecting is like eating without digesting. – Edmund Burke

I actually asked the biggest book lover in the world to share with you her tips for getting the most out of books.  Below is the advice from author, book reviewer, and book lover extraordinaire Emily Dill:

I have one main tip for non-fiction and one main tip for fiction. When reading non-fiction, my main tip for getting the most out of the material is TAKE NOTES. No matter what kind of non-fiction book, I’m reading, I take notes as I go.

Bob Harper book about exercise or nutrition? I write things down as I go.

A book about how to write an entire novel in the month of November? Take notes.

An Amen Clinics book about keeping your brain healthy? Yep, notes.

My main tip for getting the most out of fiction is to read in a quiet area. I know a lot of people brag about reading while the tv is on, kids are yelling, music is playing, and so on, but that doesn’t work for me. And it probably doesn’t work for most people either, because I can promise you they’re missing a few things in their reading. It has happened to me before – when I try to read in a loud or active room, I’ll end up reading the same page two or three times and still missing things.

So treat yourself and concentrate 100% on your reading – that book deserves your full attention!

I totally agree with the tip about taking notes! I am a note taker from way back. Writing something down helps you retain the information – it can also serve as a fantastic reference point, specially for long books or if you’re reading different books covering the same subject.

This actually brings me to another tip for getting the most out of reading.  If you find a particular subject that you enjoy reading about, search out as many books relating to this subject as possible. Make a list of all the different subjects you want to learn more about.  You can get inspiration for reading subjects anyplace – just pay attention to the things that spike your interest and follow through.

Here’s an example: My husband and I watched a GREAT mini-series on the History Channel, Sons of Liberty. Was this History nut ever in Heaven?!?!  By the time the series ended, I had a LONG list of subjects I wanted to delve further into: John Adams, Abigail Adams, John Hancock, Thomas Jefferson, George Washington, The Boston Massacre, the Tea Party, Paul Revere, Benjamin Franklin… and on and on.

Suffice to say, I have enough subjects to last several years!

My note-taking will really come in handy while reading through these fascinating subjects. I can cross-reference and see, for example, where George Washington was (and what he was up to) during the Tea Party, or what Abigail Adams thought of Benjamin Franklin… that sort of mentally delicious thing.

You should also pause to reflect on what you’ve read with fiction as well as non-fiction. Think back over the lessons that could be carried away from the characters, their experiences, their choices, etc.

A good book should leave you… slightly exhausted at the end. You live several lives while reading it. – William Styron

I hope this article will serve as inspiration to you in your quest for reading more and for getting more from your reading. Thanks again to Emily for her words of wisdom and experience.

If you have any reading tips of your own, please share them with us in the comments!

~ Joi

All the secrets of the world are contained in books. Read at your own risk. – Lemony Snicket

Also See: More quotes about reading.

Filed Under: Books I Love, Mental Fitness, Problem Solving, Self Help Hacks Tagged With: how to get more from your reading, how to read more, reading

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