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Reducing Fear Around the What Ifs in the World

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If you are naturally a fearful or anxious individual, finding a moment of calmness in your own mind can be difficult as you are always wondering or worrying about what-if scenarios, even if they seem quite outlandish even to our own rational brains. Once you have a fixation on a circumstance or situation, it can be difficult to let go, relax and in so many words – get over the feeling of what’s bugging you.

Luckily, we don’t have to let fear and anxiety drive our lives and we have more control over our thoughts, feelings and reactions than we initially realise. Of course, you shouldn’t ever withhold or prevent a feeling – it’s natural to have emotions and feelings, even if they are quite strong compared to those around you – it’s how we act on these feelings and emotions that summarises who we are.

Gaining Control

Control is something that can make us feel confident but can quickly be pulled out from underneath us. When we lose this control, we feel suitably out-of-control of our own lives which naturally causes feelings of anxiety and fear. While we may not always be able to control the situation, we are able to control our reactions to it and work our way through the fear and nerves.

For instance, online security can be a fear for many people who have moved their important accounts online and are using smart devices to log into their sensitive inboxes and bank accounts. While you cannot control if and when a hack might occur, you can be sure to implement multi-factor authentication on all your accounts and practice safe browsing by never opening or clicking untrustworthy links.

Trusting in Others

The beloved people in our lives, be they friends or family, can be a huge source of anxiety and fear for people as they worry what could happen to these people and the impact it will have on our lives. Parents in particular can be a group that is hugely affected as they place their trust in schools and day-cares to take care of their young children while they go out to work and provide a comfortable lifestyle for their family. Trust in others is built over time, we cannot be expected to trust everyone as soon as we meet them, and it can be easily to become overwhelmed with the sheer amount of news stories regarding untrustworthy people. It’s becoming gradually easier, with the addition of smart technology that allows us to keep an eye on our homes by monitoring securely protected CCTV and other home or commercial surveillance devices.

However, we also need to remind ourselves that the true world isn’t full of monsters hiding around every corner and that news and social media platforms benefit from only releasing and reporting the bad stuff. Social media and online news platforms and blogs have made it easier than ever before to see the horrors going on around the world but just because we hear about it more frequently, doesn’t mean it’s happening more frequently, in fact, in many western countries, the world is the safest it’s ever been.

Confidence in Feelings

Sometimes fear and anxiety can be caused by doubting our own feelings or denying emotions to situations out of our control. Rather than immediately taking action against these feelings, make a record of them, take a moment to read what you’ve written and include details about the situation.

– What has happened to make you feel this way?

– How do you feel?

– Was this your initial feeling or have your feelings changed and developed in reaction to your first response?

Once you’ve got this on paper (or typed up in front of you) it’s easier to step back and look at the situation as a whole, address the feelings you had and what caused them and work out what you need to change about the situation in future to make you feel better about it. Our brains work in interesting ways and sometimes, the first thought we have in regard to a situation is simply what we’ve been conditioned to think or feel, it’s what we do next that decides the type of person we are and how much control we have over ourselves.

The world may seem like a scary place at first glance, full of what-if situations and terrifying news stories but take a closer look at your immediate world, your family, your neighbourhood, your local community – you might quickly find many smiling faces and supportive networks. We are the ones in control of ourselves, don’t let your emotions override your thoughts and instead, learn to let go of the little things that worry you and live a more peaceful, fulfilling life.

What to Do if You Slip and Fall in a Store

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by Maggie Hammond

If you slip and fall in a store, it can be an extremely stressful experience. We never expect them to happen, but sometimes, accidents do occur and they’re not necessarily your fault. If you do happen to slip and fall in a store, then there are some important steps you should follow.

The most important thing is that you’re OK and it’s safe for you to continue about your day, but if you do happen to be injured, this can have a big impact on your life. If this is the case, then you want to make sure your legal rights are protected, and the best way to do this is to speak to an attorney.

1.    Seek Medical Attention

When you’ve suffered a fall, the most important thing is your wellbeing. When you’ve been in an accident, your body produces extra adrenalin, which can help to mask pain. You might not feel in pain, but there can still be some hidden injuries that need to be treated.

The best way to ensure you haven’t suffered any serious damage is to get some medical attention. If nothing else, it can put your mind at ease, and allow you to continue on with your day.

2.    Document Your Memories of the Accident

Being involved in a fall can be particularly stressful, which makes it difficult to remember all the important details about the incident. These details can be important if you do end up making a claim, so it’s useful to write the pertinent details down.

Inspect the area where you had the fall and write down all the details you see. Any extra information you can put down can help you further down the line, so get as much detail as possible.

3.    Take Witness Details

If there were witnesses to your fall then it can be helpful to get their contact details to help your case further down the line. These people can back up your story and even add extra details that you might have missed.

Even if the person didn’t see the accident but was there in the aftermath it is worth taking their details. The better you can piece together the story, the better it looks if and when you come to make a claim.

4.    Speak to An Experienced Attorney

Whenever you’re involved in an accident, it’s important to have an experienced attorney on your side to protect your rights, and ensure you’re looked after.

Even the smallest accidents can have a huge impact on your life if you get injured, and the law is there to help protect you in these cases. However, the process of making a claim isn’t always straight forward, so having an experienced attorney is essential.

You shouldn’t have to suffer financially if you’re involved in an accident that wasn’t your fault, so make sure you’re looking after your interests by getting a good personal injury lawyer.

Myths About People Who Drink Black Coffee

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Black Coffee

by Mila

There is almost no one who can imagine beginning the day without the morning coffee and its intoxicating scent. After water, coffee is the most consumed drink in the world – more than 1.6 billion cups of coffee are consumed daily. Some drink it without sugar, some with milk; the Italians like to consume it with a slice of lemon, and in Morocco with different spices. Most people like their coffee with milk, sugar or flavors like vanilla and chocolate. There are various different types of coffee, and anyone can find its favorite one. But those who like it black are in minority, and there are tales about us. What do people believe about us who love a cup of black coffee, and are there any truths to that?

“We don’t understand other coffees”

Well, we’ll have to disappoint you. Preferring black coffee does not mean that we do not enjoy those other types. Most people who drink black coffee have also tried the cafe latte, cappuccino, espresso, mocha, and maybe even the Irish coffee. Most of us do like to make informed decisions. And we love those options – really! But going back all the time to that essential black coffee just means that we may love our complicated lives, but we like our coffee simple and strong.

“Minimalist fashion style”

When it comes to our clothing, it is mostly stated that we like a minimalistic style. There are numerous articles on the internet in which it is written that most of our wardrobe features clothing pieces in black and white. Is it like that? Maybe black coffee seems too “stern” for everyone, but that doesn’t mean we are too. Not liking unnecessary flavors and “details” in our preferred drink doesn’t mean that we don’t surround ourselves with all colors of life.

“We only drink it when we have to”

Most people think black coffee is something that is brewed exclusively when you need to stay awake when you have to study for exams or to complete a big project at work. Well, we have news for you – it’s not a caffeine energy drink, it’s a delight in a cup. People just don’t fully grasp what a charm black coffee is. We drink it not out of necessity, but out of pleasure.

“Those who love it want to be ‘sober’ from life”

It is said that fans of this drink do not like the chaos of life. But just because we like our coffee to be a little more “straightforward”, it doesn’t mean that our life is. We’re just a little more focused on substance instead of semblance, at least regarding our favorite drink. We don’t need coffee to “sober us up” from life, and no, we are not “sober” already. We just love its full flavor just like we love having a full life.

“We only drink it in the morning”

There is this view that black coffee is some secret way of waking up and focusing, not just in the morning but in times of crisis too. Well, that is not the whole truth. It is a great drink to have at any time, but we do have our preferences. Not every black coffee is the same; there are varieties of taste, aroma, and process of preparation. A good cup of coffee has the perfect taste and aroma that seduces. Although simple, strong and heavy, it fulfils all the senses, every time. Not just in the morning. But it’s not for everyone’s taste.

“Simple life asks for a simple cup of coffee”

Most say that people who love black coffee do not like this complicated world. They see us as artists, individuals; whimsical and quiet. They think we are practical and believe solely in logic. It is also believed that people who drink it are a little nervous, and have frequent mood swings. Well, they may have guessed one thing – most of us like to start the day with no chaos and no-nonsense. But it seems that is true for the majority of people on this planet, so… The truth is: black coffee doesn’t give us any superpowers (that is all us).

The Surprising Effects of Business vs Leisure Travel on Your Health and Well-Being

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Business or Leisure Travel

Many things in our lives – often things we don’t even think twice about – have direct effects on our health.

  • our relationships
  • the amount of time we sleep
  • our hobbies
  • the books we read
  • the books we don’t read!
  • our temperament
  • how much time we spend relaxing

Things that are so routine that we simply don’t give them a second thought. For many people, travel can fall into this bullet point list. Some people travel as often as the rest of us feed our cats! (Okay, maybe not that often, but you get the gist…)

The beautiful infographic below details the effects of travel on your health as well as your mental, physical and emotional well-being. Enjoy!

Click for a larger view!

Business or Leisure Travel Infographic

Infographic Credit: Reservations.com

You WILL Be Happy Again: How Men Can Move on After Divorce

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Happiness at Work

by Mila

Sometimes, things just do not work out. No matter how much effort you put into a relationship, the dynamic between two people is a two-way street. Maybe you are simply out of sync and it is nobody’s fault.

However it turns out, ending a relationship that had you emotionally and physically invested for years on end is a turbulent and, dare we say, a traumatic experience, and you need to allow yourself breathing room to heal.

Before you even proceed to look at the singular constructive coping mechanism or adopt useful tools to get over a divorce, here’s one thing you should keep on your mind throughout the ordeal at all costs: you WILL be happy again.

Accept the stages of grieving

It won’t be long after the divorce is finalized before you realize that the mental process of grieving has begun. Even if the ordeal had left you unsympathetic towards the ex-spouse, you shouldn’t underestimate the power of positive memories and feelings that you’ve accrued throughout the relationship. Mix that with the force of habit that comes with co-living conditions, and you have a mighty cocktail of grief that you’ll have to chug-down in full.

The cycle of grief typically follows five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and, finally, acceptance. This sequence is typical of many scenarios where a person has to deal with a particularly egregious life situation, and a divorce is no different.

Just the notion of knowing the order of these mindsets can prove to be an invaluable tool when it comes to avoiding certain trappings that can push you further down the rabbit hole of unhappiness.

These trappings always end up badly for all parties involved, and they include using children as pawns in a game of hurt, boosting your self-esteem in all the wrong, egocentric ways, and trying to reconcile with your spouse. All of these traps should be avoided at all costs, and knowing the stages of grief can help you overview certain urges and situations more objectively. Of course, you should especially tread lightly when for the sake of your children.

Embrace constructive activities

One of the most important cornerstones of your road to happiness is the adoption of activities and hobbies. Divorce will bring about a whole laundry list of changes that will undoubtedly throw your entire life out of balance; specifically – there will suddenly appear a ‘hole’ in a place where a range of activities with your spouse used to be.

Embracing the changes means accepting that this time needs to be filed with constructive activities that will improve your quality of life. Mind you – this is not about replacement. It’s about scrutinizing a list of potential hobbies that are certain to help you with your grieving process.

Dabble in art

You might want to turn to arts and crafts in search of something that has a positive impact on one’s mental health. Nobody will expect you to create masterpieces of modern art – it can (and should) be something that you can enjoy while you meditate on your next move. It’s about the act of creation – assembling something that you find aesthetically pleasing, creating order out of chaos. It is a therapeutic practice and there is hardly anything more ennobling you could do.

Stay physically active

Of course, some men would rightfully argue that partaking in organized sports activities is just as ennobling and therapeutic as creating art for yourself. Investing yourself in training and on a daily basis is an amazing way to channel your frustrations into a formatted physical activity (formatted – as in, denoting rules).

Now, you can participate in organized group sports such as basketball, football and others, which is an excellent way to develop a better rapport with friends and stay both socially and physically active. Talking sessions with your teammates before and after training can also help immensely.

Golf encourages the improvement of mental health through the discipline of patience, focus and physical effort that is, at the same time, meditative by nature. That being said, the upsides found in golf can also be found in martial arts, but this is not everyone’s cup of tea.

Forgiveness is the ultimate goal

This might sound like a sappy and naive notion, but working towards forgiveness as the ultimate goal will break the final chain of gloom that is wrapped around you, pulling you deeper and deeper into depression.

There is a dirty secret hidden at the heart of forgiveness, and that is the revelation that it is not about ‘the other person’. Forgiving your spouse is achttps://amzn.to/2LnHFLWtually all about you because otherwise, you will stay full of resentment, which will further corrode your soul. Forgiving your ex-spouse as soon as you can will definitely put you on the express-way to happiness.

Conclusion

Unfortunately, a stigma of shame still surrounds the image of grieving men. Too often do they hide behind a stoic disposition and conceal their emotions, proceeding to live a life of silent pain instead of coping with a life-changing event such as divorce.

Without a doubt, this has far-reaching consequences on the psychological integrity of an individual, so you should do everything in your power to refuse this unhealthy practice and deal with your emotions head-on. It is the only road to happiness after the divorce.