Self Help Daily

Inspirational and Self Help Blog with a Save the World Complex...

You are here: Home / Archives for Self Help

Self Help

Myths About People Who Drink Black Coffee

by Leave a Comment

Black Coffee

by Mila

There is almost no one who can imagine beginning the day without the morning coffee and its intoxicating scent. After water, coffee is the most consumed drink in the world – more than 1.6 billion cups of coffee are consumed daily. Some drink it without sugar, some with milk; the Italians like to consume it with a slice of lemon, and in Morocco with different spices. Most people like their coffee with milk, sugar or flavors like vanilla and chocolate. There are various different types of coffee, and anyone can find its favorite one. But those who like it black are in minority, and there are tales about us. What do people believe about us who love a cup of black coffee, and are there any truths to that?

“We don’t understand other coffees”

Well, we’ll have to disappoint you. Preferring black coffee does not mean that we do not enjoy those other types. Most people who drink black coffee have also tried the cafe latte, cappuccino, espresso, mocha, and maybe even the Irish coffee. Most of us do like to make informed decisions. And we love those options – really! But going back all the time to that essential black coffee just means that we may love our complicated lives, but we like our coffee simple and strong.

“Minimalist fashion style”

When it comes to our clothing, it is mostly stated that we like a minimalistic style. There are numerous articles on the internet in which it is written that most of our wardrobe features clothing pieces in black and white. Is it like that? Maybe black coffee seems too “stern” for everyone, but that doesn’t mean we are too. Not liking unnecessary flavors and “details” in our preferred drink doesn’t mean that we don’t surround ourselves with all colors of life.

“We only drink it when we have to”

Most people think black coffee is something that is brewed exclusively when you need to stay awake when you have to study for exams or to complete a big project at work. Well, we have news for you – it’s not a caffeine energy drink, it’s a delight in a cup. People just don’t fully grasp what a charm black coffee is. We drink it not out of necessity, but out of pleasure.

“Those who love it want to be ‘sober’ from life”

It is said that fans of this drink do not like the chaos of life. But just because we like our coffee to be a little more “straightforward”, it doesn’t mean that our life is. We’re just a little more focused on substance instead of semblance, at least regarding our favorite drink. We don’t need coffee to “sober us up” from life, and no, we are not “sober” already. We just love its full flavor just like we love having a full life.

“We only drink it in the morning”

There is this view that black coffee is some secret way of waking up and focusing, not just in the morning but in times of crisis too. Well, that is not the whole truth. It is a great drink to have at any time, but we do have our preferences. Not every black coffee is the same; there are varieties of taste, aroma, and process of preparation. A good cup of coffee has the perfect taste and aroma that seduces. Although simple, strong and heavy, it fulfils all the senses, every time. Not just in the morning. But it’s not for everyone’s taste.

“Simple life asks for a simple cup of coffee”

Most say that people who love black coffee do not like this complicated world. They see us as artists, individuals; whimsical and quiet. They think we are practical and believe solely in logic. It is also believed that people who drink it are a little nervous, and have frequent mood swings. Well, they may have guessed one thing – most of us like to start the day with no chaos and no-nonsense. But it seems that is true for the majority of people on this planet, so… The truth is: black coffee doesn’t give us any superpowers (that is all us).

The Surprising Effects of Business vs Leisure Travel on Your Health and Well-Being

by Leave a Comment

Business or Leisure Travel

Many things in our lives – often things we don’t even think twice about – have direct effects on our health.

  • our relationships
  • the amount of time we sleep
  • our hobbies
  • the books we read
  • the books we don’t read!
  • our temperament
  • how much time we spend relaxing

Things that are so routine that we simply don’t give them a second thought. For many people, travel can fall into this bullet point list. Some people travel as often as the rest of us feed our cats! (Okay, maybe not that often, but you get the gist…)

The beautiful infographic below details the effects of travel on your health as well as your mental, physical and emotional well-being. Enjoy!

Click for a larger view!

Business or Leisure Travel Infographic

Infographic Credit: Reservations.com

You WILL Be Happy Again: How Men Can Move on After Divorce

by Leave a Comment

Happiness at Work

by Mila

Sometimes, things just do not work out. No matter how much effort you put into a relationship, the dynamic between two people is a two-way street. Maybe you are simply out of sync and it is nobody’s fault.

However it turns out, ending a relationship that had you emotionally and physically invested for years on end is a turbulent and, dare we say, a traumatic experience, and you need to allow yourself breathing room to heal.

Before you even proceed to look at the singular constructive coping mechanism or adopt useful tools to get over a divorce, here’s one thing you should keep on your mind throughout the ordeal at all costs: you WILL be happy again.

Accept the stages of grieving

It won’t be long after the divorce is finalized before you realize that the mental process of grieving has begun. Even if the ordeal had left you unsympathetic towards the ex-spouse, you shouldn’t underestimate the power of positive memories and feelings that you’ve accrued throughout the relationship. Mix that with the force of habit that comes with co-living conditions, and you have a mighty cocktail of grief that you’ll have to chug-down in full.

The cycle of grief typically follows five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and, finally, acceptance. This sequence is typical of many scenarios where a person has to deal with a particularly egregious life situation, and a divorce is no different.

Just the notion of knowing the order of these mindsets can prove to be an invaluable tool when it comes to avoiding certain trappings that can push you further down the rabbit hole of unhappiness.

These trappings always end up badly for all parties involved, and they include using children as pawns in a game of hurt, boosting your self-esteem in all the wrong, egocentric ways, and trying to reconcile with your spouse. All of these traps should be avoided at all costs, and knowing the stages of grief can help you overview certain urges and situations more objectively. Of course, you should especially tread lightly when for the sake of your children.

Embrace constructive activities

One of the most important cornerstones of your road to happiness is the adoption of activities and hobbies. Divorce will bring about a whole laundry list of changes that will undoubtedly throw your entire life out of balance; specifically – there will suddenly appear a ‘hole’ in a place where a range of activities with your spouse used to be.

Embracing the changes means accepting that this time needs to be filed with constructive activities that will improve your quality of life. Mind you – this is not about replacement. It’s about scrutinizing a list of potential hobbies that are certain to help you with your grieving process.

Dabble in art

You might want to turn to arts and crafts in search of something that has a positive impact on one’s mental health. Nobody will expect you to create masterpieces of modern art – it can (and should) be something that you can enjoy while you meditate on your next move. It’s about the act of creation – assembling something that you find aesthetically pleasing, creating order out of chaos. It is a therapeutic practice and there is hardly anything more ennobling you could do.

Stay physically active

Of course, some men would rightfully argue that partaking in organized sports activities is just as ennobling and therapeutic as creating art for yourself. Investing yourself in training and on a daily basis is an amazing way to channel your frustrations into a formatted physical activity (formatted – as in, denoting rules).

Now, you can participate in organized group sports such as basketball, football and others, which is an excellent way to develop a better rapport with friends and stay both socially and physically active. Talking sessions with your teammates before and after training can also help immensely.

Golf encourages the improvement of mental health through the discipline of patience, focus and physical effort that is, at the same time, meditative by nature. That being said, the upsides found in golf can also be found in martial arts, but this is not everyone’s cup of tea.

Forgiveness is the ultimate goal

This might sound like a sappy and naive notion, but working towards forgiveness as the ultimate goal will break the final chain of gloom that is wrapped around you, pulling you deeper and deeper into depression.

There is a dirty secret hidden at the heart of forgiveness, and that is the revelation that it is not about ‘the other person’. Forgiving your spouse is achttps://amzn.to/2LnHFLWtually all about you because otherwise, you will stay full of resentment, which will further corrode your soul. Forgiving your ex-spouse as soon as you can will definitely put you on the express-way to happiness.

Conclusion

Unfortunately, a stigma of shame still surrounds the image of grieving men. Too often do they hide behind a stoic disposition and conceal their emotions, proceeding to live a life of silent pain instead of coping with a life-changing event such as divorce.

Without a doubt, this has far-reaching consequences on the psychological integrity of an individual, so you should do everything in your power to refuse this unhealthy practice and deal with your emotions head-on. It is the only road to happiness after the divorce.

Five Ways to Boost Your Happiness this Winter

by Leave a Comment

Snowy Day

by Matt Gregory

When you consider the fact that sunlight is one of the best ways to increase your serotonin levels, it will come as no surprise that the winter months, with shorter, darker days, can lead to a lower mood than usual.

The holidays themselves can be an emotional time, too; there is a lot of pressure to spend, to be out with family and friends and having fun that can have a detrimental effect on those that may be struggling with loneliness, money worries or are unable to see loved ones as much as they would like, if at all. If this sounds familiar, then do not despair because there are so many things you can do that will easily help elevate your mood in next to no time.

Self–Care

“The way to health, harmony and happiness is primarily mental”
– Grenville Kleiser, from ‘Inspiration and Ideals’

Self-care is one of the best ways to instantly lift your mood when the cold weather starts to get you down. Making plans to curl up with a good book under a blanket and enjoy your favorite hot drink is a great way to self soothe these feelings away. Alternatively, you could pamper yourself with a leisurely bath to help relieve the stress and tension of your day, book yourself in for a massage or hair cut or make some time for exercise. Make some ‘me’ time to really reconnect with yourself and feel good within yourself.

Pay it Forward

“The best way to cheer yourself up is to try and cheer someone else up”
 – Mark Twain

One of the quickest and easiest ways to boost your personal happiness is to pay it forward. Any form of charity, whether it’s simply buying a coffee for someone in need or giving to charity as part of your everyday life – such as the compulsory zakat donations made by Muslims, culminating in the celebration of Eid – can lift your mood in a way like nothing else does.

However you choose to pay it forward – donating to a local food bank, baking cookies for the neighbours or offering support for a friend in need – it costs nothing to be kind, but the rewards are endless.

Do more of what makes you Happy

“If you want to be happy, be”
– Leo Tolstoy

Sometimes, life can get stressful and we forget about the little things that help us feel more aligned with ourselves and ultimately, bring joy to our lives. Listening to our favorite music and having a singalong, reading an old classic, going to the gym, taking the dog for an extra–long walk, writing, baking, prayer… there are so many things that make us happy that can get lost along the way when life gets a little hectic. Taking some time to do more of these things is a great way to boost your happiness.

Take up a new hobby

“I am not young enough to know everything”
– Oscar Wilde

Learning a new skill or taking up a new hobby can be overwhelming at the best of times, especially if you have been putting it off for a while. Overcome your fear and embrace learning – the self-confidence and sense of worth that you receive in return will be more than worth it.

Take that pottery class, learn a new language, teach yourself coding or knitting – whatever it is you’ve always wanted to do – seize the day and watch the smile creep back on to your face in the process.

Leave negativity behind

“Laughter is the sun the drives winter from the human face”
– Victor Hugo

Letting go of negativity in your life is one of the greatest ways to improve overall feelings of happiness. That being said, it isn’t an easy thing to do, and it’s something that needs to be worked on over time. Bad habits can be broken, though – with a little persistence and practise. Create positive endorphins and improve your physical and mental health by exercising more regularly – and this will put you in a great mindset for kicking those bad habits.

Letting go of anger, not holding grudges, not partaking in gossip, focus on the positives in every situation, and appreciate everything that you have. Remove drama from your life, recite positive affirmations and set achievable goals. Rest well, eat well, be more productive. Lastly, learn your limits and when to say no. This is a process but one that you can start right now!

By taking just a few positive steps, you could be reaping the rewards this winter. Not only that, but these are things that will stick with you long after the snow has melted and the sun is back in our lives.

Altruism – What is it and How do you Practice it?

by Leave a Comment

by Matt Gregory

Altruism – What is it and How do you Practice it?

There are very few actual altruistic acts in the world. Even those that may appear to be altruistic often come with an underlying benefit to the person or party performing such an act. 

Altruism is an act of kindness that benefits only those on the receiving end, in no way benefiting the giving party in any way shape or form. That means no financial rewards, no expectation of reciprocation and not publicising the act themselves as this can be seen as boasting in order to improve their own reputation and how they are perceived by others.

When an Altruistic Act May not be as it Seems

Before we continue, let us be clear – simply because an act is not 100% altruistic does not mean that it is not thoughtful and is not an act of good. People can perform an act for good that benefits either a single person, or a wider group, and themselves benefit in some way shape or form.

The best example of when an apparent altruistic act isn’t altruistic at all is when either a celebrity or business perform an act of charity as part of a PR campaign. While they are, in fact, helping others and, in twine, raising awareness for an issue, there is a separate goal that caters to that celebrity of business’ perception in the public domain. They are wanting to be seen to be doing good in the community – this is not true altruism, although it is still a thoughtful act of kindness.

What is an Altruistic Act?

If an act is truly altruistic, you probably wouldn’t have heard about it unless those on the receiving end have broadcast it. An act of true kindness if performed with the sole intention of benefiting someone else without being broadcast and/or utilised in any way to benefit the giving party is altruistic.

Charity is often the central point for an altruistic act, with donors giving money – either on a one-off or regular basis – for a cause close to their heart. In Islam, such a donation is known as Sadaqah – where Muslims perform the act of giving or helping for good. You can find more information here on this religious practice.

Are There Enough Truly Altruistic Acts Performed Today?

Because of the point already raised earlier on in this article, it is hard to know how altruistic modern society truly is because you likely won’t hear about an act of altruism. With that being said, millions of people around the world continue to live in poverty, unable to provide for their families, children being sent to work instead of gaining an education and homeless sleeping rough on the streets.

On that basis, you would have to say that not enough acts are being performed as there are more than enough resources to ensure that not a single person has to starve, sleep rough or be denied access to education. While many are undoubtedly performed every day, there is certainly room for more…there always is.

How to Perform an Act of Altruism

You can perform an act of altruism by simply helping someone sleeping rough on the street by giving them a sandwich, something to drink, a blanket or a change of clothes without the need for posting about it across your social media profiles. There are also thousands of charities that would be highly grateful to receive whatever you can afford to give.

Equally, an act of altruism doesn’t have to benefit a stranger as you can also do something for a friend and/or relative that may be struggling. Simply taking the time to have a conversation with someone when no one else is there can be considered an act of altruism.