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Never Try to Be Someone You’re Not…. Be YOU!

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Quote About Being Yourself

Be Yourself… Always

Something that bumfuzzles and frustrates me nearly to the point of being speechless is when people try to be anyone and everyone except for the only one they’re meant to be… themselves!

Undoubtedly you’ve seen these birds, yourself…

  • The lady who posts pictures of herself from the gym (multiple pics from ONE trip, mind you), talking about how much fitness matters to her… calling herself a gym rat…yet you know, full well (and evidence will bear you out) she went the ONE time. She wants to appear to be fitness-minded when she really isn’t. Why?
  • The man who happens to be a night owl, yet seems convinced that everyone he’s trying to impress in the world expects him to be an early bird. So he shuts off the late night movie he happens to be enjoying, heads to bed, then drags himself out of bed at 5:00 the next morning, crowing to the world, “I’m up! I’m up! I’m UPPPPP! Look, Twitter… I’m up with the roosters!” Why?
  • The girl who really isn’t into name brands or even clothes for that matter. She’d much rather spend her money on books or toys for her dog…. but the “cool girls” wear only the most expensive jeans and she has to fit in, right? Why?
  • The college student who eats just like the rest of us, but thinks he’ll impress more people if he claims to be Keto. Why?

I think the answer to each why is the same – they aren’t completely comfortable in their own skin, so they want to slip into someone else’s skin. Sounds creepy.. and to an extent, it kind of is. Thing is, when people hop on social media and try to paint themselves in a certain way, they’re only making their own self image issues and lack of confidence worse. They’re creating a “them” that doesn’t even exist, so when they look at this fake image (like a false god from Old Testament times!)… there’s nothing there!

If you ever find yourself creating a dream scenario of yourself – stop before you even begin. If you’re eating a hamburger, own it! Say, “I’m eating a hamburger, and if you think that’s something, you should see the fries!”

Don’t like working out? Admit it, no one will hate you for it.  I haven’t attempted anything near a “work out” in 6-7 years, but best I can remember I hated it! If you want to let the world know what you’re doing – be honest about it. Sitting in your favorite chair, watching your favorite television show, give it a shout out. Reading a great author, recommend the book. THIS is the way you find like-minded friends and THIS is the way you learn to both meet and like yourself.

Think about it, if the people you’re so worried about impressing wouldn’t like or respect the real you…. why are you even wasting your time with them?


Five Ways to Boost Your Happiness this Winter

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Snowy Day

by Matt Gregory

When you consider the fact that sunlight is one of the best ways to increase your serotonin levels, it will come as no surprise that the winter months, with shorter, darker days, can lead to a lower mood than usual.

The holidays themselves can be an emotional time, too; there is a lot of pressure to spend, to be out with family and friends and having fun that can have a detrimental effect on those that may be struggling with loneliness, money worries or are unable to see loved ones as much as they would like, if at all. If this sounds familiar, then do not despair because there are so many things you can do that will easily help elevate your mood in next to no time.

Self–Care

“The way to health, harmony and happiness is primarily mental”
– Grenville Kleiser, from ‘Inspiration and Ideals’

Self-care is one of the best ways to instantly lift your mood when the cold weather starts to get you down. Making plans to curl up with a good book under a blanket and enjoy your favorite hot drink is a great way to self soothe these feelings away. Alternatively, you could pamper yourself with a leisurely bath to help relieve the stress and tension of your day, book yourself in for a massage or hair cut or make some time for exercise. Make some ‘me’ time to really reconnect with yourself and feel good within yourself.

Pay it Forward

“The best way to cheer yourself up is to try and cheer someone else up”
 – Mark Twain

One of the quickest and easiest ways to boost your personal happiness is to pay it forward. Any form of charity, whether it’s simply buying a coffee for someone in need or giving to charity as part of your everyday life – such as the compulsory zakat donations made by Muslims, culminating in the celebration of Eid – can lift your mood in a way like nothing else does.

However you choose to pay it forward – donating to a local food bank, baking cookies for the neighbours or offering support for a friend in need – it costs nothing to be kind, but the rewards are endless.

Do more of what makes you Happy

“If you want to be happy, be”
– Leo Tolstoy

Sometimes, life can get stressful and we forget about the little things that help us feel more aligned with ourselves and ultimately, bring joy to our lives. Listening to our favorite music and having a singalong, reading an old classic, going to the gym, taking the dog for an extra–long walk, writing, baking, prayer… there are so many things that make us happy that can get lost along the way when life gets a little hectic. Taking some time to do more of these things is a great way to boost your happiness.

Take up a new hobby

“I am not young enough to know everything”
– Oscar Wilde

Learning a new skill or taking up a new hobby can be overwhelming at the best of times, especially if you have been putting it off for a while. Overcome your fear and embrace learning – the self-confidence and sense of worth that you receive in return will be more than worth it.

Take that pottery class, learn a new language, teach yourself coding or knitting – whatever it is you’ve always wanted to do – seize the day and watch the smile creep back on to your face in the process.

Leave negativity behind

“Laughter is the sun the drives winter from the human face”
– Victor Hugo

Letting go of negativity in your life is one of the greatest ways to improve overall feelings of happiness. That being said, it isn’t an easy thing to do, and it’s something that needs to be worked on over time. Bad habits can be broken, though – with a little persistence and practise. Create positive endorphins and improve your physical and mental health by exercising more regularly – and this will put you in a great mindset for kicking those bad habits.

Letting go of anger, not holding grudges, not partaking in gossip, focus on the positives in every situation, and appreciate everything that you have. Remove drama from your life, recite positive affirmations and set achievable goals. Rest well, eat well, be more productive. Lastly, learn your limits and when to say no. This is a process but one that you can start right now!

By taking just a few positive steps, you could be reaping the rewards this winter. Not only that, but these are things that will stick with you long after the snow has melted and the sun is back in our lives.

Altruism – What is it and How do you Practice it?

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by Matt Gregory

Altruism – What is it and How do you Practice it?

There are very few actual altruistic acts in the world. Even those that may appear to be altruistic often come with an underlying benefit to the person or party performing such an act. 

Altruism is an act of kindness that benefits only those on the receiving end, in no way benefiting the giving party in any way shape or form. That means no financial rewards, no expectation of reciprocation and not publicising the act themselves as this can be seen as boasting in order to improve their own reputation and how they are perceived by others.

When an Altruistic Act May not be as it Seems

Before we continue, let us be clear – simply because an act is not 100% altruistic does not mean that it is not thoughtful and is not an act of good. People can perform an act for good that benefits either a single person, or a wider group, and themselves benefit in some way shape or form.

The best example of when an apparent altruistic act isn’t altruistic at all is when either a celebrity or business perform an act of charity as part of a PR campaign. While they are, in fact, helping others and, in twine, raising awareness for an issue, there is a separate goal that caters to that celebrity of business’ perception in the public domain. They are wanting to be seen to be doing good in the community – this is not true altruism, although it is still a thoughtful act of kindness.

What is an Altruistic Act?

If an act is truly altruistic, you probably wouldn’t have heard about it unless those on the receiving end have broadcast it. An act of true kindness if performed with the sole intention of benefiting someone else without being broadcast and/or utilised in any way to benefit the giving party is altruistic.

Charity is often the central point for an altruistic act, with donors giving money – either on a one-off or regular basis – for a cause close to their heart. In Islam, such a donation is known as Sadaqah – where Muslims perform the act of giving or helping for good. You can find more information here on this religious practice.

Are There Enough Truly Altruistic Acts Performed Today?

Because of the point already raised earlier on in this article, it is hard to know how altruistic modern society truly is because you likely won’t hear about an act of altruism. With that being said, millions of people around the world continue to live in poverty, unable to provide for their families, children being sent to work instead of gaining an education and homeless sleeping rough on the streets.

On that basis, you would have to say that not enough acts are being performed as there are more than enough resources to ensure that not a single person has to starve, sleep rough or be denied access to education. While many are undoubtedly performed every day, there is certainly room for more…there always is.

How to Perform an Act of Altruism

You can perform an act of altruism by simply helping someone sleeping rough on the street by giving them a sandwich, something to drink, a blanket or a change of clothes without the need for posting about it across your social media profiles. There are also thousands of charities that would be highly grateful to receive whatever you can afford to give.

Equally, an act of altruism doesn’t have to benefit a stranger as you can also do something for a friend and/or relative that may be struggling. Simply taking the time to have a conversation with someone when no one else is there can be considered an act of altruism.

Coping with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): A Few Quick and Easy Tips

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Remember to Pause to See the Beauty in Every Season

Those of us who have never suffered from  Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) should take a moment right now and express our complete and unrestrained gratitude. From what I’ve seen, heard, and read, it is a miserable and seemingly relentless cloud of misery.

Fortunately, there are a few ways to cope with and even overcome SAD. Will every tip work for you personally? Doubtful… but more likely than not a few will help you tremendously. Being proactive will, all by itself, help to some extent.

It always feels better to know we are taking positive steps to make our lives better – as well as the lives of those who our life touches.

Tips for Coping with SAD:

  1. Take a multi-vitamin and a Vitamin D Supplement. Vitamin deficiencies have a large number of symptoms and many of those associated with being more emotional than physical. One of my daughters once found herself feeling extremely tired and sluggish. Worse, she’d sometimes cry without having any idea WHY. When she went to the doctor, she had tears in the examining room and told the doctor she had no idea why. Being a sharp doctor, she ordered blood-work – specifically wanting to check her Vitamin D. It wasn’t just low, it was VERY low. She was prescribed a Vitamin D supplement (though they are available over the counter) and her symptoms improved almost immediately.
  2. Let some sunlight in! Something as simple as opening blinds and curtains during the day may help. When you’re able to look outside at nature (even if it’s just a single tree or the sky and grass), you’re instantly reminded that nature is beautiful year round, not just in the warmer months. The light, itself, can lift your spirits.
  3. ALWAYS have something to look forward to. I’m convinced that (to a certain extent) SAD can result from a “let down” after a string of exciting, high-charged holidays and events. Think about it – September (back to school), October (Halloween), November (Thanksgiving), December (Christmas), January (New Year’s Day). That leaves the rest of January, February (let’s face it, Valentine’s Day is only so so on the excitement meter), and some of March in many parts of the world. It’s only reasonable that there will be a let down, a feeling of “What do we get ready for or look forward to now???” Why not begin planning for your own party or family get-together?! Plan for a Super Bowl party, a movie-watching party (pick your favorite movie… after all, it’s your party!), or any kind of random party you can think of (masquerade party, game day party, use your imagination and see where it takes you). If you aren’t the party type (aside from family birthdays, I’m not either, actually), start planning Movie Nights with a loved one or all by yourself. Pick a night of the week when you don’t have to cook anything (no cleanup… yay!), order pizza, pop the popcorn, and watch a couple of great movies. You’ll find yourself looking forward to movie night so much I’m sure you’ll keep the tradition rolling all year.
  4. Move more! I’m not saying you have to hit the gym – trust me, the last gym I was in was in high school (and gym was short for gymnasium)! Simply make yourself become more active. We move a lot more in the warmer months and the sudden dip in activity takes it’s toll on the body and, perhaps, even mind. Bundle up and walk around the yard or block, turn on music and do your chores with more showmanship (my favorite), take up yoga or pilates, learn a new dance… just move it!
  5. Essential Oils can be effective. The following essential oils can be very helpful in lifting moods (the links go to Amazon, where each can be readily found): Lemon, Jasmine, Lavender, Cinnamon, and Peppermint essential oils are a few people swear by.

I place this final piece of advice separate from the rest because it is both different and vital. So vital, in fact, that I’m not sure any or even all of the tips above will work if it is left undone. When we suffer from things like SAD, we have to stop giving it more power than it already has.

Each time someone says any of the things below, they give Seasonal Affective Disorder more power…

  • “I can’t be happy, I have SAD.”
  • “I’d like to go out for dinner with you, but I can’t, I always feel depressed this time of year.”
  • “I hate winter – it makes me feel so unhappy.”
  • “I wish I could be happy… guess I’ll have to wait for summer.”

Any form of these statements give the disorder power and place the individual in the role of victim – and I don’t know about you, but that’s a role I have no interest in playing!

Statements to Give YOU the Power…

  • “Less light outside doesn’t have to mean less light inside!”
  • “I’m going to make a list of fun things to do this month…”
  • “A problem is nothing more than a question that hasn’t found it’s answer yet… this year, I will find that answer!”

I am in NO WAY trying to make light of SAD – it is a very, very real condition. However, you have more power than it does, you’re smarter than it is, you have more resolve, and you’re a heckuva lot better looking.

My money is on you. ~ Joi (“Joy”)


Science Behind Human and Dog Bond

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Quote About Dogs

 

by Hayden

The chemistry between dogs and humans is one that has existed over the years. Many people love dogs, and dogs love them. Pet owners go all out to take care of their dogs because of the bond of love that exists between them. In the same way, dogs are very loyal to their owners and fight tooth and nail to protect them. 

Can the strong bond between dogs and humans be explained? Science has an explanation for why things happen the way you do. In the same way, we can explore the science behind the bonding of these two creatures as is in this article:

Use of eye contact

Dogs make eye contact during bonding. Like with human beings, eye contact with another party is the first way to establish a strong bond with them. When dogs want to bond with humans, they maintain eye contact. This is especially so when they are taking instructions and accepting compliments eye contact is the best way to measure whether or not your dog attends to you when you speak. 

Studies have been conducted around this logic. It has been proven by researchers in Azabu University, Japan that when a dog establishes eye contact with his owner, that moment allows for the generation of oxytocin, which is mostly known as the “love hormone”. This is the same hormonal response in human beings that bonds us to babies, even at a very young age.

The power of touch

Human beings are best known to appreciate and acknowledge the power of touch. In the same way, dogs are sensitive to a touch of affection. When human pets a dog, the dog responds with signs of affection. This can be through licking the person, wagging the tail, or jumping up and down around the person.

You can best experience this when you are grooming your pet. After using the best dog shampoo to wash him, the whole process of drying your dog and brushing his fur can instill feelings of love. Notice also how much dogs love to be petted, even by children. 

Social creatures

The reality of both of these species is that they are social creatures. This makes the relationship between a dog and a human mutually beneficial, as both are working to make a new friend and share the love with a different party. In that case, it is easier for a dog and a human to form a relationship than it is for a human and a cow.

Dogs are outgoing

Humans may be outgoing, but not all of them. With dogs, it is not the case. Most dogs, if not all of them, are outgoing by nature. They exist best where they can be active, walk and play around. Given that humans are the most entertaining of such behaviors, it is easy for dogs to form strong bonds with humans. For example, it is like a dog to run out and greet their owners when they walk into their homes. Since human beings also enjoy the warm welcome, the bond is automatically formed. 

Dogs are adaptive to different personalities

Much as a dog gets its personality from the genes, a lot of how a dog behaves has to do with their owners. A great way to observe this is to take a sample of a similar breed of dog raised by different owners. While both are dogs, their personalities will be a lot similar to their owners. In this case, it is easy for dogs and humans to form relationships.

Summary

Evidently, the symbiotic relationship between dogs and human beings has significantly affected both species. As more people become dog owners, and rescue groups gang up to help stray dogs, the bond is yet to grow stronger in the years to come.

Quote About Relaxation