Inspirational and Self Help Blog with a Save the World Complex...
For whatever reasons, I’m always fascinated with “personality” quizzes and infographics. They aren’t just fun, they can actually be pretty insightful. Ironically, they’re often right on the nose, too.
The great infographic below is all about what your handwriting says about your personality. Enjoy!
I still don’t. Don’t like the way complaining tastes in my mouth. Does that make me perfect? HA! Far from it – it simply makes me an optimist who takes her title seriously.
However, I have to do a little belly-aching today. What is up with all of the self-absorbed people these days?! I am not about to get into any politics or world events – I may be a lot of things (crazy cat lady, clown, hideous budgeter, chocoholic, caffeine addict…) but flaming idiot is not one of them. Why does the average man or woman think that THEY’RE opinion is the only one that counts?
Why does the average man or woman not only get mad when others disagree with them… but outraged?! It’s as though they’re screaming, “How dare you not think the way I think?! HOW. DARE. YOU?!!”
What makes their opinions, thoughts, or beliefs more valuable than the people they’re spraying anger all over?
Nothing. The problem is they are self-absorbed and can barely grasp that the world isn’t bowing to their every whim.
The self-absorbed epidemic isn’t just on the big stage, of course. It’s popping up everywhere – in fact, if you watch for it, you’ll be amazed at how rampant it is.
Think about it….
The list goes on, but I’m kind of getting depressed, so I’ll end here.
What I’m driving at isn’t really intended for the self-absorbed crowd. No one can really help someone overcome a trait like that – the individual has to have a light-bulb moment and get so completely disgusted with themselves that they change. Unfortunately, you simply cannot turn someone else’s light-bulb on for them. Sure, you can try, but if they aren’t ready to SEE, they’ll simply slap your hand and turn it back off.
I’m just kind of giving the rest of us a reminder – don’t follow where they lead. Here’s the thing, even when we detest certain traits with everything within us, we sometimes follow suit. I read once that children who are abused often grow up to be abusive. That seems completely backward, doesn’t it? They should know better than anyone how wrong it is to EVER hurt another person. And yet…
A lot of it comes down to self awareness. We’d all do well to occasionally take a good, honest look at the person we’re becoming and ask, “Is this what I had in mind?”
When you live in a particular society, it can rub off on you if you aren’t careful. It can become the “norm.” Just think of the people we have made rich and famous – some of the most self-absorbed people to ever walk the earth.
Don’t let it become normal to you and… whatever you do… don’t drink the Kool-Aid. The more people who do become self-absorbed, the worse off we’ll all be. Be on guard against accepting their way as the right way. It isn’t. Be concerned about others, compassionate, and always on the look out for someone’s life you can touch. Put others first and see how rewarding your life will be!
Okay, complaining over. I’m going to drink a Chai Tea Latte to get the negativity out of my mouth.
I hope your New Year is off to a beautiful start. I have SO many things planned for Self Help Daily this year! Thanks for visiting – you honestly honor me with your company. ~ Joi (“Joy”)
My personal candidate was Marco Rubio, and I greatly respected Ben Carson as well. If Vice President Joe Biden had thrown his hat into the race, I would have had a candidate in each party. I guess I should be glad I never had to face the problem of liking too many players in the game!
Don’t get me wrong, unlike most people, I don’t feel any animosity toward Hilary Clinton or President-Elect Donald Trump. I respect many of the things they’ve done in life, including their children. Are they perfect? No more so than you or I. I wish both of them a world of happiness and success in life. I have no time for or inclination toward hate, bitterness, or resentment – so if you’re waiting for me to spew any ugliness, you’ll be sorely disappointed. I leave the judging to God.
I only point these facts out because there is an unreal amount of hate swirling around these days and I don’t want anyone thinking I have a political agenda. I have no such thing. What I have is a “happy agenda” and I’ve had a bad case of it for as long as I can remember.
I want people to be happy! Not just the “smile on their face” kind of happy, either. I want people to be so happy and so in love with life that they find it almost impossible to sit still.
The present emotional climate in the world is stormy with signs of getting worse before it gets better. And this from an eternal optimist! I take no joy in pointing it out, but if you expose yourself even slightly to social media or mainstream news, you already know this assessment is spot on.
Is this a tragic situation? No…… It is what it is. History is filled with tragedies – any fellow history buffs reading this are already nodding their heads in agreement. The Boston Massacre, the Trail of Tears, Slavery, the Civil War, Concentration Camps, and on and on. Those were unspeakable, unimaginable, and gut-wrenching tragedies.
History is also filled with protests, marches, anger, and the other situations we are seeing on an almost daily basis. These periods come and they, eventually, go.
One of my mom’s favorite quotes was, “This, too, shall pass.” Eventually, the anger, raging, fighting, and lashing out will die down. In the meantime, I want to encourage as many people as I possibly can not to “lose” yourself in the ugliness. If that means removing yourself from it – as in getting off of social media or cutting back on the news – do it. Do whatever it takes.
I, personally, (as a web publisher) have to stick it out. Sometimes it feels like I’m standing out in the rain without an umbrella. My main social media activity is on Twitter and, within just the past two years, the rain has felt more like a raging storm…
As I said earlier, the emotional climate in the world isn’t what I’d call tragic. However, I’ll tell you what IS tragic – seeing people lose who they are and what they stand for. It’s tragic to see individuals become so consumed with hate and anger that they cannot even carry on civil conversations. People have lost the ability to civilly disagree with others. They’ve lost the ability to accept that others have opinions that may be different from their own.
People today have the mindset of, “I’m right and if you don’t agree with me, you are wrong.” But they don’t just stop there… they will unload on anyone and everyone with name-calling, belittling, accusations, and venomous anger.
Simply for having a different opinions.
So where do we go from here? In addition to praying (day and night!) for things to change, we have to be on guard. We have to make sure that we don’t allow others to steal our joy. We also have to be on constant guard for something else – we have to make sure we don’t turn into them. Think of a zombie movie for a minute. What’s the worst possible thing to happen in a zombie movie? For the hero or heroine to become a zombie – for them to become the vile, cruel, and.. let’s face it… downright ugly zombie.
If we give the bitter, angry crowd too much of our time, our hearts, and our thoughts… we will slowly become more and more like them. What a revolting thought!
Who in their right mind would want to spend so much time angry, bitter, resentful, and mean-spirited – all while being constantly on the prowl for something else to get upset about.
A few nights ago, I saw a young man (who, a year ago, was one of the calmest, happiest people on all of Twitter) – within a span of 30 minutes – verbally attack THREE different groups of people. Not one, not two.. but three. He hurled accusations and made a bitter little spectacle of himself. I instantly thought back to who he used to be and felt kind of sick to my stomach. Slowly but surely, he lost himself.
I hope that hasn’t happened to you and, if you’re close to “the line,” I hope this will serve as a reminder.
Actionable Ideas
Life is short and we aren’t going to get a second shot in this life. Please don’t spend it worked up about things that are beyond your control. It isn’t good for your family, your mind, your happiness, or your health. Don’t let anyone or anything steal your joy.
Ironically, after typing out well over 1,00 words, I think we can sum it all up in two: Choose happiness.
Keep smiling!
~ Joi (“Joy”)
Ever have a moment of clarity about yourself that hit you right between the eyes? I’ve come to both expect and appreciate these moments because they usually (though not always) lead to a level of much-needed improvement in my life.
A recent conversation I carried on with myself went something like this…
I: I thought you were going to stop eating chips.
Myself: But they’re so good! They’re so crunchy! They’re so salty! Yummy!
I: They’re horrible when it comes to sodium, cholesterol, and overall health.
Myself: Crunchy! Salty! Yummy!
I: Why do you eat something you know is unhealthy?
Myself: Because YOU keep buying them!
I: I’m not buying them anymore!
If I will finally stop buying the addictive… yes, Yummy… little buggers, the problem will be solved.
Problem is, I’ve had this conversation with myself, before, and I’ve rolled my cart right back to the potato chip aisle defiantly.
Seriously, I could just punch Myself.
Yesterday, I meandered into the kitchen for a snack. As I’ve mentioned on the self help blog before, I am the proud owner of a hiatal hernia, which necessitates eating small amounts frequently as opposed to large meals a few times a day. As you’d imagine, this can trip a body up when they’re looking for something quick and convenient.
Guess what’s conveniently bagged and downright fun to grab a handful of anytime you want them?
Sure enough, when I walked into the kitchen, I grabbed a bag and dove in, without even fully registering what I was doing. When I finished off a big old handful of them, I went to wipe off my hands. Greasy and salty. It was at this point I had a heart to heart with myself.
How can anyone who considers themselves to be relatively intelligent and reasonable keep falling into the same trap… especially a trap they set?!? I think, after my self-convo yesterday, I have a little insight into the dilemma. When we try to out-smart ourselves by setting our own traps we fail for one clear reason – we know there will be no REAL consequence because if we’re anything with ourselves, it’s lenient. When I say, “I won’t buy them anymore” – I don’t stick with the program because, what am I going to do? Ground myself from watching History Channel for a month?
Never!
Here’s where it gets trickier – the more often we repeat the cycle, the easier it is to do so. Seriously, it’s the easiest thing in the world to wheel into the chip aisle and throw a couple of bags into the cart. I don’t even have to think about it and I’m certain I could find the aisle in the dark. Furthermore, I believe I have the skill set to distinguish Doritos from Lay’s and Lay’s from Cheetos simply by feeling the bags in the dark.
We have to finally get to the point where we are so PUT OUT with ourselves that we say “enough is enough” and vow to make a change that will stick.
For me and my personal “Consistently Inconsistent” roller-coaster, it will mean…
When I’ve had battles with other “Consistently Inconsistents” in the past, I’ve found that I must, must, must provide an alternative for myself. I’m wired in such a way that going cold-turkey on anything is impossible unless I have a alternative. For example, I once decided to give up diet soft drinks. I didn’t just drink them to wash down food or stay hydrated – I enjoyed drinking them, quite frankly. I had to ask myself, “What is it you enjoy about these drinks so much? What do they provide?”
When I realized that they were convenient, fun, and tasted darn good, I had a road-map of what my alternative had to measure up to.
I knew what it needed to be and I knew what it needed NOT to be (unhealthy). My solution was coconut water and iced tea.
Whatever you’re up against, ask yourself similar questions…
Then, you’ll want to ask yourself WHY you want to give it up…
Now? Find an alternative! I think the best way to go about breaking a bad habit is establish a new… better.. habit in its place.
Come up with a list of alternatives – whether they’re foods, drinks, hobbies, activities, tv shows, etc. Write a list of ideas and try them out. When it came to switching drinks, I first tried bottled water.
Didn’t last two days.
Then I tried flavored water.
Made it three whole days.
Then I hit upon coconut water and the deal was sealed.
I’ve decided to keep celery and carrots on hand to help steer me from potato chips – they’ll be healthier in every conceivable way. At least they’ll score crunchy and tasty points… maybe I’ll be able to trick Myself into imagining that they’re salty.
If you want to defeat something – stay on its case. Don’t let up and never let it see you sweat.
~ Joi (“Joy”)
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind!” – Dr. Seuss
This Dr. Seuss quote is one of my favorite quotes of all time. The man was a genius when it came to taking words for a joyride, wasn’t he? What makes it even more amazing is this: He made words (and certainly reading) fun – yet… at the same time.. he infused a great deal of wisdom within the fun.
This particular quote is just one example of his wit and wisdom. Whenever I spend a little time with this quote I always wonder one thing – Why would anyone want to spend ANY time with ANY person who didn’t allow them to be them?
If I ever had to guard what I said, how I acted, or who I was around someone, they’d instantly become public enemy number one and I’d avoid them like a husband avoids doing dishes!
Or is it just my husband? No? I didn’t think so
Have an awesome week and spend it being you….
~ Joi (“Joy”)