A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience. – Doug Larson Quote
A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself. – Doug Larson
A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success! – Doug Larson
For every little kid who still believes in Santa Claus, there is at least one adult who still believes in professional wrestling. – Doug Larson
A clean basement, garage and attic are signs of an empty life. – Doug Larson
A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows. – Doug Larson
Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties. – Doug Larson
Establishing goals is all right if you don’t let them deprive you of interesting detours. – Doug Larson
Few things are more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own. – Doug Larson
For disappearing acts, it’s hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work. – Doug Larson
Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog. – Doug Larson
If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend. – Doug Larson
If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there’d be a shortage of fishing poles. – Doug Larson
If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. Doug Larson
Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks. – Doug Larson
Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon. – Doug Larson
More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse. – Doug Larson
Nostalgia is a file that removes the rough edges from the good old days. – Doug Larson
Real elation is when you feel you could touch a star without standing on tiptoe. – Doug Larson
Some of the world’s greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible. – Doug Larson
Sometimes opportunity knocks, but most of the time it sneaks up and then quietly steals away. – Doug Larson
Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush. – Doug Larson
The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. – Doug Larson
The cat could very well be man’s best friend but would never stoop to admitting it. Doug Larson
The only nice thing about being imperfect is the joy it brings to others. – Doug Larson
The reason people blame things on previous generations is that there’s only one other choice. – Doug Larson
The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools. – Doug Larson
The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate. – Doug Larson
The world is full of people looking for spectacular happiness while they snub contentment. – Doug Larson
There are few things more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own. – Doug Larson
There must be a happy medium somewhere between being totally informed and blissfully unaware. – Doug Larson
To err is human; to admit it, superhuman. – Doug Larson
Utility is when you have one telephone, luxury is when you have two, opulence is when you have three – and paradise is when you have none. – Doug Larson
Wisdom is the quality that keeps you from getting into situations where you need it. – Doug Larson
Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you’d have preferred to talk. – Doug Larson
Some of the world’s greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible. – Doug Larson