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You are here: Home / Archives for adversity

adversity

Handling Adversity 101: Sometimes We Aren’t UP Against a Problem, We ARE the Problem

June 2, 2014 by Joi Leave a Comment

Bigger Dragons
I’m a pretty big advocate of self talk – or, to be more precise, positive self talk.  For one thing, I’m ALL about positive affirmations, positive reinforcement, and… well, positivity in general.

Another reason I’m a component of self talk is that I’m dang good at it. Seriously, I’m so good at talking to myself I could go pro.  I think I can speak for all only children when I say it’s a trait we learn early and master well.

We just try not to do it when anyone’s looking. People talk, you know.

Truth be told  we all talk to ourselves – we just don’t do it out loud. More times than not, the conversation takes place quietly in the mind… kind of behind the scenes. Yet, even there, self talk is as powerful as any superhero’s superpower.

Not long ago, I was up against something (work-related) that seemed uncommonly large. I felt like a fly in the shadow of the Empire State Building. My initial thoughts were, “Maybe if I ignore it, it’ll go away…” What are the chances of that, though? How many times do we have a task in front of us that suddenly magically disappears, as though a magic wand had been waved in its direction?

Maybe I’ve watched too many fairy tales over the years.

The problem wasn’t the big task, even though he was a beaut. I wasn’t facing a problem, I was the problem.  More to the point, my attitude (or my “self talk”) was the problem.  Without even realizing it, I kept the following conversations on repeat in my brain:

  • I freaking can’t do this!
  • This is too much for one person…
  • What the what, dude?!?!
  • Why can’t this just disappear?

Round and round went the negative thoughts and on and on went the negative self talk. And since nothing positive ever springs from a pool of  negative, I never made a bit of progress.

Then it hit me, right in my laundry room. I’d stepped away from my computer to answer the dryer’s relentless buzz. While folding towels, I heard a familiar voice in my mind (the reasonable side of me that I hadn’t heard from in a while) and the words were clear, distinctive, and empowering:  “I’ve slayed bigger dragons than this.”

Clearly I have watched too many fairy tales over the years.

While finishing up the laundry, I thought of the dragons I’d slain over the years. While the dragons had employed different means of attack ( illnesses, loss of loved ones, professional challenges, staggering disappointments..) –  they all had one thing in common: They were smoked.  Put in their place. Laid out.

In fact, when I thought back on some of this dragon’s predecessors, he seemed more like a gecko.

When I returned to my computer, the big fire-breathing dragon that had been sitting on my desk was nowhere to be found. I went about the task at hand and everything fell right into place. Nothing tangible had changed – I hadn’t been granted more talent, the task had not diminished…  Everything was the same while, at the same time, nothing was the same.  The only thing that had changed was my attitude and my self talk.

The good thing is… that’s the only thing that needed to change.

The next time you’re up against your own dragon, think back to the dragons you’ve laid out… then tell him he’s next.  Don’t get in your own way with a pattern of negative thoughts or waste time throwing up wishes that the dragon would just disappear.

You’re the only one that can make that happen, slayer.

Never doubt yourself,
~ Joi

Also See: I wrote a related post a while back titled You? A Dragon Slayer? You Bet! (Seriously, what is it with me and dragons?)

Filed Under: Positive Thought, Problem Solving Tagged With: adversity, overcoming adversity, problem solving

Theodore Vail Quote About Difficulties

May 10, 2011 by Joi 4 Comments

 

Quote About Difficulties

“Real difficulties can be overcome; it is only the imaginary ones that are unconquerable.” – Theodore Vail

What a profound quote! This is the sort of inspirational quote that makes you think… my absolute favorite kind. When I come face to truth with a quote like this one, I like to just spend a little time alone with it.

When I think back over my life, I can recall certain difficulties. I think of these difficulties as unwanted visitors.  They always intrude in the same way.  My family, figuratively, is sitting comfortably in around the dining room, having a wonderful meal – talking about University of Kentucky Basketball, St. Louis Cardinals baseball, the Denver Broncos.  Then trouble arrives banging on the door, upsetting everyone and causing chaos.  The most unwelcome guest of all time.

However, as I think back on these difficulties…. none of them won.  We always survived.  What’s more, we walked away stronger and wiser.

As Theodore Vail points out, it’s the imaginary visitors at the door that are our undoing. The problems we only “imagine” are at the door – problems that, truth be told, aren’t even on our property.  These are the “What if…” variety of problems – the ones we invent in the most worrisome corner of our mind.”

As important and vital as thought is, and truthfully don’t we wish more people practiced the art, sometimes we can think too much.   A lot can be said for dealing with difficulties and troubles as they come.  Face it, people are going to talk if we run to the door, waving a Louisville Slugger in the air and threatening something that isn’t even there.

Next time you have a problem or difficulty, make sure it’s actually in the room with you before you lash out.

More Quotes About Adversity.

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Filed Under: Daily Quote, Must Reads Tagged With: adversity, Daily Quote, quote, quotes

My Favorite 25 Quotes About Adversity

July 28, 2010 by Joi 5 Comments

 

Quote about Adversity

Ever had one of those days? Of course you have… we all have.  What’s more, we’ll continue to have “those days.”  Heck, sometimes we overachieve and have “those weeks.”

Been there. Done that.

Below are my CURRENT favorite 25 quotes about adversity.  The ones in bold?  They’re my absolute favoritest of all.

When life kicks you, don’t let it kick you over. – Kay Yow

If you break your neck, if you have nothing to eat, if your house is on fire, then you got a problem. Everything else is inconvenience. – Robert Fulghum

Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. – M. Kathleen Casey

I have learned there is a gift wrapped inside of every adversity and, if you have faith and hope, you can lose everything and still survive. – Sandi Bachom

When life kicks you, make it kick you forward. – Unknown

I had a lover’s quarrel with the world. – Robert Frost Quote, “The Lesson for Today”

Count the garden by the flowers, never by the leaves that fall. Count your life with smiles and not the tears that roll. – Author Unknown

Life is thickly sown with thorns, and I know of no other remedy than to pass quickly through them. The longer we dwell on our misfortunes, the greater their power to harm us. – Voltaire

The darkest hour has only sixty minutes. – Morris Mandel

Have the courage to face a difficulty lest it kick you harder than you bargained for. – Stanislaus I, Maxims

Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist: it reduces him to his fighting weight. – Josh Billings

Rock bottom is good solid ground, and a dead end street is just a place to turn around. – Buddy Buie and J.R. Cobb, from the song, “Rock Bottom”

Despair is anger with no place to go. – Mignon McLaughlin,”The Neurotic’s Notebook”

To have become a deeper man is the privilege of those who have suffered. – Oscar Wilde

Problems are messages. – Shakti Gawain

Problems are the price you pay for progress. – Branch Rickey

Mishaps are like knives, that either serve us or cut us, as we grasp them by the blade or the handle. – James Russell Lowell, “Cambridge Thirty Years Ago”

There are times in everyone’s life when something constructive is born out of adversity… when things seem so bad that you’ve got to grab your fate by the shoulders and shake it. – Author Unknown

You have to accept whatever comes and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage and with the best you have to give. – Eleanor Roosevelt

Talking about your grievances merely adds to those grievances. Give recognition only to what you desire. – Thomas Dreier

Good timber does not grow with ease; the stronger the wind, the stronger the trees. – J. Willard Marriott

Problems are only opportunities with thorns on them. – Hugh Miller, “Snow on the Wind”

I don’t like people who have never fallen or stumbled. Their virtue is lifeless and it isn’t of much value. Life hasn’t revealed its beauty to them. – Boris Pasternak

We have no right to ask when a sorrow comes, “Why did this happen to me?” Unless we ask the same question for every joy that comes our way. – Philip E. Bernstein

Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones. And when you have finished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. God is awake. – Victor Hugo

BONUS: My oldest daughter, Emily, was about 8 when she said something about problems that I will always remember:

What doesn’t kill you will one day make for a great story. – Emily Sigers

More quotes about adversity!

Filed Under: Daily Quote Tagged With: adversity, adversity quotes, inspirational quotes, quotes

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