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You are here: Home / Archives for attitude

attitude

It’s All in the Attitude, Don’t Bother Looking Anywhere Else

February 22, 2013 by Joi Leave a Comment

Stay Positive
If you’re looking for happiness, peace, and even a better life, look no further than your attitude. Your attitude is the driving force in your life. By the way, the picture of the tractor will make sense in a minute.

When it comes to quotes or stories, I’m ALL about giving credit to the original source. However, some stories and quotes are so good that they’ve been around the world so many times no one knows where they originally came from.

One of my favorite such stories is this one:

A woman woke up one morning, looked in the mirror, and noticed she had only three hairs on her head. She said,  “I think I’ll braid my hair today.” She did and she had a great day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and saw that she had only two hairs on her head. “Well, I think I’ll part my hair down the middle today.” She did and she had a wonderful day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that she had only one hair on her head. “Hmmm. I think I’ll wear my hair in a ponytail today.”  She did just that and had a fun day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that there wasn’t a single hair on her head. “Yes!” she exclaimed, “I don’t have to fix my hair today!“

Now that’s what I call a great attitude!

When I sat down to write (well it’s actually typing, isn’t it?) an article about attitude, my mind started sorting through my favorite quotes and stories about attitude.  My aunt’s quote, after she learned she had breast cancer, “I never ask why me, I ask, well…why NOT me?” was the first quote to spring to mind. She was immediately followed by the story about the woman with three dwindling hairs.

By the way, my aunt beat cancer and it hasn’t had the audacity to knock on her door again.

You know how, in life, people tend to give an inordinate amount of credit to certain people – whether it’s credit for things going right OR for things going wrong?  In the grocery store the other day, a man in the cereal aisle read the price of one of the cereals aloud, then followed it with, “Thank you very much, Obama.”  He’s no different than the woman I heard blaming President Bush for a tornado that tore through the Midwest.   I’m certain President Obama didn’t price the cereal and I pretty sure President Bush didn’t summon up a tornado.

People just love to “pin” things on people, don’t they?

Having said that, I may be just as ridiculous sometimes as these two – not when it comes to blaming people, but when it comes to blaming character traits.  I tend to blame 80 percent of people’s suffering on having the wrong attitude.  Bad attitudes are my “fall guys.”

Before you try reasoning with me, I’ll admit, there are other negative traits or habits that can cause problems.  Sometimes people procrastinate, sometimes they’re hard-headed, sometimes they’re lazy. Heck, sometimes they’re simply as dumb as a bag of rocks!

However, I maintain that A LOT of problems we face can be handled better simply by adjusting our attitude.

A sour, defeatist, poor-poor-me attitude only increases your suffering. It also pushes people about as far  away as they can be pushed.  If you’re feeling sorrow or grief, by all means express it – just be certain not to wallow in it.

Feel the pain (whether it’s grief, remorse, or a good old-fashioned broken heart), take a deep breath, get up, and get on with life.

No matter what has happened in your life, you MUST have the attitude that the best is yet to come. You MUST tell yourself that, while your yesterdays were great, they don’t even hold a candle to your tomorrows.

Have I ever told you about a baseball pitcher we once knew? When we lived in Louisville, Kentucky, we were season ticket holders for a AAA team – the Louisville Bats (Riverbats before that). For those unfamiliar with baseball (I don’t even know you anymore!), if a player is on a AAA team, they aren’t playing major league ball yet (or making the “big bucks”).  Many are thisclose to the majors, but many are also thisclose to AA (step beneath AAA).

Anyway, as far as pitchers go, our guy was “okay.”  When he was on the mound for our team, my whole family would practically hold our breath – willing him to be brilliant, simply because we liked him so much.  I’m thinking it would have been impossible not to.  He was the kind of person who you just KNEW got out of bed smiling in the morning, daring the world to knock the smile off of his face.  He always had something to say and seemed, genuinely, thrilled to have the honor of being a part of the beautiful thing we call life.

A lot of the baseball players in the minor leagues would have nasty attitudes. They’d snarl, pout, and put off so much negative energy they’d suck the energy out of the entire ballpark. They wouldn’t sign autographs for fans and they wouldn’t stop to talk to you if their life depended on it.  However, a lot of guys (like our smiling pitcher) were having fun with life and had great attitudes.  One of the nicest, coolest guys to ever come through the system was Adam Dunn – if you follow baseball, I know you’ve heard of him.  His attitude (like his swing) could not have been sweeter.

Leave it to me to get side-tracked with baseball talk. I’m obsessed with the game. Could you tell?

Anyway, Adam Dunn has been playing in the majors for A LOT of years now and the guys with the rotten attitudes? Nowhere to be found. Did Adam’s bat have a lot to do with it? Of course! But so did his attitude.

Think of people in your own life who have great attitudes. The people who are so darn happy and upbeat that you kind of get in a better mood simply from being around them. They’re the complete opposite of the “energy suckers.” This crowd BRINGS the energy.

I’m going to give you a little peak into an approach I’ve frequently taken in life.  I call it looking for the UP side to any given situation. I’ve had a pretty eventful life and, along the way, I figured something out.  Looking UP is the key to happiness (and sanity). Looking DOWN is the key to misery.

Whichever way you face… you go.

When I lost my father (who was far too young to have died), I held on to the thought that he was in Heaven now and would never be sick again.  I also kept reminding myself that I’d never have to go through losing my dad again and would never see him sick or hurt. Years later, I would have to rely on the same approach with my mom when she suddenly decided to move on to Heaven to join him. When my oldest daughter got married and moved out of the house (what was she thinking?!), I refused to think of how much I missed seeing her beautiful face each day and thought, instead, of how good her new husband is to her, how much he makes her laugh, and how much I love both of them.

Would feelings of sadness creep in from time to time? Of course!  But when they did, I would immediately focus on the positives.  Sometimes you have to really, really, really look hard. In fact, sometimes all you can say is, “Well, the sun’s shining…”

You have to focus immediately on the positive – and do it so regularly that your “immediately” becomes “instinctively.”

Years ago, I taught Sunday School for little bity people. My class was made up of 4, 5 and 6 year olds. I was talking to them about always being thankful and about telling others how thankful and happy they were. One ridiculously cute  little boy happened to be (shhhh, don’t tell anyone) one of my favorites.  He may not have been the best behaved, mind you. In fact, he never sat still and didn’t hesitate for a second to say what was on his mind.  What can I say, he amused me and kept things interesting. His name was Zachary and I’d have taken 20 of him. As they were coloring pictures after our story about thankfulness and happiness, he raised his little hand. I thought, “Here we go…” after asking him what was on his mind.  He said something about having a bad day and not feeling happy.

No doubt, he’d been in trouble with his dad that morning – Heaven only knows what’d he’d gotten into!

I told him that he should think about something that makes him happy when he felt upset. Something that he was thankful for.  I asked him to name something that made him smile – because that would be something he was thankful for. He thought about it for a minute, went back to coloring (obviously still thinking), then looked up with a smile on his face. He said tractors made him smile and that he was thankful for tractors.  His grandparents were farmers and his dad, no doubt, had a tractor too. They obviously meant good times to this little live wire and maybe even represented a favorite loved one.

I looked all week for a coloring book with pictures of tractors, but when I put the picture of a tractor in front of him the following Sunday, his face lit up so brightly it made the work more than worth it!

We all have things that make our faces light up. We all have things that make us smile – from the inside, out. As much as is possible, always try to focus on these things – especially when you’re going through a rough patch.  When having a rotten day, think of the woman with three hairs, then two hairs, then one hair, then no hair.

Think of a much-loved aunt who non-chalantly said, “Why NOT me?”

And think of Zachary and his tractor.

Don’t let bad situations get the best of you – they don’t deserve it. Turn the tables on life by turning the dial on your attitude.   Remember, you GO in the direction you’re facing.  Don’t look down… look up!

~ Joi

Filed Under: How to Be Happy, Positive Thought, Self Improvement Tagged With: attitude, how to be happy, positive attitude

A Couple of Lessons We Can Learn from Jose Reyes

June 30, 2011 by Joi 4 Comments

New York Mets - Jose Reyes 2011 Action

New York Mets -Jose Reyes
Buy This at Allposters.com

Are you familiar with Jose Reyes? He plays shortstop for the New York Mets and happens to be one of the most exciting baseball players in the game right now.  I’m a diehard St. Louis Cardinals fan, but the Mets are my second favorite team – and Jose Reyes is one of the reasons.  He’s currently one of my favorite players and the reasons actually have nothing to do with his ridiculously high level of skill and athletic ability.

The things that make Jose Reyes a favorite in my book are simple:

  1. He enjoys the game.
  2. He’s a grinder.

Lesson #1: Enjoy Life and Never Stop Having Fun

Jose Reyes is almost always smiling and having fun. Shouldn’t we all go through life the same way? Like the St. Louis Cardinal’s phenomenal catcher, Yadier Molina, when the camera finds Reyes, more times than not he’s wearing a huge smile.  If a camera followed us throughout the day, as we go about our jobs and duties, could the same be said of us?  Would viewers think, “He/She is such a happy person and obviously just loves life.”  Or would they think, “What a sour puss! If life’s that unpleasant for them, why do they even bother getting out of bed?”

I’ve watched Mets games when they were winning and I’ve watched Mets games when they were losing.  I’ve watched Jose Reyes having one of those games when everything went right and I’ve watched Jose Reyes have one of those games when nothing went right.  The smile?  Always there.  The guy simply loves the game, loves what he does, and (from all clues) loves life.  When his teammates do well, he’s the first one there to congratulate them and offer high fives.  He has an obvious passion for life and it’s contagious. When he’s playing the game and enjoying it so much, you can’t help but smile, yourself.

Again, shouldn’t we have the same effect on others? Whether our day is going our way or headed in the complete opposite direction, isn’t life worth living and isn’t it worth loving?  The obvious answer is YES, but you couldn’t tell it by some people’s faces.  Smile more! Enjoy life… it only comes around once.

Lesson #2: Grind it Out!

One of my favorite quotes to use on myself, as well as on those around me is, “Grind it out.”  Ever since I heard an announcer praise a player who made it to first base, on an infield hit, by “grinding it out,” I’ve had a crush on the phrase and the philosophy.  I first really paid attention to the phrase during a St. Louis Cardinal’s ballgame, when one of our players, somehow, beat out a throw to first.  He should have, by all accounts, been the third out. I was even beginning to get up for a kitchen run when I had to sit back down. He grinded it out, regardless of how dire things looked.  I can’t even remember who the player was, to be honest.  He was one of those players who come up from AA, then head back down, then get their call again, etc.  He was the kind you’d expect to grind it out on every play because he was trying to earn a spot.

However, with Jose Reyes, the details are insanely different.  Players like Reyes, Yadier Molina, Matt Holliday, Derek Jeter, Chris Carpenter, etc. have earned their spot.  There are no buses leaving for AA in the parking lot for these guys.  Yet they still grind it out as though their spot depended on it.

Just last night, Jose Reyes grinded it out on the bases like he was auditioning for a spot on the team. Why? He loves the game and wants to give it his all.

If we were to take this philosophy and apply it to our own lives, I have a feeling magic would happen.  If we approached each day with everything we had in us and did the things that needed to be done even when we didn’t want to…. even when we didn’t feel entirely on our game, we’d have a lot more wins and a lot fewer losses.

  • Think of how our health and fitness would improve if we walked 15 minutes longer than normal – grinding it out instead of phoning it in.
  • How much more money could we make if we “showed up” earlier and “clocked off” later – even if it’s just a matter of minutes?  Many times, it’s the mindset that makes the difference.
  • Our relationships could even become sweeter if we put more thought and energy into them.

When we’re feeling low on energy and/or incentive, if we remind ourselves to “Grind it out!,” I think we’ll begin to see changes that will rock our world.

But don’t underestimate  Lesson #1: Enjoy Life and Never Stop Having Fun.  I listed it first for a reason.  The fact is, I think his attitude is the key to Jose Reyes’ success.  Yes, he has wicked athletic skills and a great mind for the game.  He’s head to toe talent. The thing is, many players are talented and many have crazy athletic skills.  My husband and I watched the College Baseball world series and saw endless talent and skills, but many of these kids won’t make it to the big leagues or achieve superstar status.  I believe a person’s attitude is their secret weapon.  Some people, such as Jose Reyes, simply have such a positive attitude and outlook that it gives them a potent weapon!

I don’t think life is fun for Jose Reyes because he’s good at what he does – I think Jose Reyes is good at what he does because he has fun with life.  Anyone who watches his games will know what I mean when I say that I’m certain this young man would wear the same smile if he was in A, AA, AAA or nowhere near the game of baseball.   He has the secret 1-2 punch that would grant him success anywhere in life:

  1. He loves life.
  2. He’s a grinder.

Make each moment count double and never leave home without your smile!

 

Filed Under: General, Positive Thought Tagged With: attitude, baseball, love life

Quote of the Day by Jeffrey Gitomer

June 22, 2011 by Joi 1 Comment

Jeffrey Gitomer's Little Gold Book of YES! Attitude

“If you think that I’m nuts, you may be right.  But I’m a nut with a positive attitude, baby!” – Jeffrey Gitomer, Little Gold Book of YES! Attitude: How to Find, Build and Keep a YES! Attitude for a Lifetime of SUCCESS (Great, great book!)

Filed Under: Daily Quote, Positive Thought Tagged With: attitude, inspirational quote, motivational quote, positive attitude

The Importance of Attitude, Soul Exercises, and a Final Thought Worth Writing Down – Twice

December 17, 2009 by Joi 3 Comments

101 Exercises for the Soul by Dr. Bernie S. Siegel

A lot of things fascinate me. I guess I’m easily fascinated. And amused. I laugh often and easily, and sometimes at inappropriate times. I can’t help it, really, life and the livers of it simply amuse me.

One of the aspects of life that fascinates me the most is people’s attitudes. You can take two individuals – living under the same situations, same conditions, and sometimes even the same roof – and they’ll often have two completely different attitudes about life. One will think life is a wonderful long party – one that requires all the dancing, singing, and merriment that you can muster. They’ll see the hope in even the most dire circumstances, a rainbow at the end of every storm, and reason to smile when others think they’re whacko for doing so. The next person will think of life as a long work day – one that needs to be plowed through like Sherman plowed through the south. They’ll resent others who aren’t plowing along beside them and secretly wish the dancers would fall into a pit. A deep pit. (What these people don’t realize is that even if we did fall into such a pit, we’d just party on. Heck, it’d be a funner party than ever without the plowers!)

Attitudes. They determine so much, yet we tend to overlook and neglect them. Bad on us.

I just finished an outstanding book, 101 Exercises for the Soul: Simple Practices for a Healthy Body, Mind, and Spirit by Dr. Bernie S. Siegel.  In the book, Dr. Siegel offers 101 exercises that can, honestly, help transform your life.  He starts off with a bang in precisely the right place – with our attitude.

…if your attitude is negative and your mind is filled with worry and fear, it takes its toll on your body, mind, and spirit.  In fact, by spending all your time creating a vision of an unhappy future, you help create that future.  Remember, your thoughts guide your decisions, and negative thoughts lead to negative decisions.  Nothing is solved by visualizing the worst outcome, but much can be accomplished when you desire and intend to achieve the best possible result.  Optimists may not be more accurate about life – whether interpreting the past or predicting the future – but they live longer than pessimists.  pages 5-6, 101 Exercises for the Soul: Simple Practices for a Healthy Body, Mind, and Spirit by Dr. Bernie S. Siegel

I believe this is why it’s so important to believe in yourself, your dreams, and your prayers.  When you have the right attitude – a positive one – you’ll keep doing everything in your power to make your dreams come true.  You’ll keep praying, keep believing, and your soul will lie its head on a pillow of Faith and cover up with a blanket of Hope.

However, when your attitude is negative and pessimistic, you’ll all but give up.  No one ever wins ANYTHING by giving up.  Nowhere worth going – that’s where a negative attitude will take you, dump you, and leave you.

I highly recommend clicking the following link and reading more about this wonderful book:   101 Exercises for the Soul: Simple Practices for a Healthy Body, Mind, and Spirit by Dr. Bernie S. Siegel.

It’s a very, very special book.  Grab a copy, then sit down to transform your life.  Be sure to have a pen and paper handy for exercises.  You’ll really get in touch with yourself during these exercises. You’ll find wonderful qualities you’d forgotten you had!  You’ll also uncover a few rotten habits you’ve picked up along the way.  Don’t fret, though – Dr. Siegel will help you cast them aside!

I’ll end with possibly my favorite passage from the book – again about attitudes and the importance of wearing the right one.

Over God’s desk there is a plaque that reads, “If you go around saying I’ve got a miserable life I’ll show you what  miserable really is.  And if you go around saying I’ve got a wonderful life, I’ll show you what wonderful really is.” – Dr. Bernie S. Siegel – 101 Exercises for the Soul: Simple Practices for a Healthy Body, Mind, and Spirit

Filed Under: Book Reviews, Books I Love, Positive Thought, Self Help, Spiritual Tagged With: attitude, Book Reviews, self growth, self help books, self improvement books

Finding Happiness in the Workplace

March 24, 2009 by Joi 3 Comments

Cup of Coffee

The following is a guest post by Courtney Phillips.

With so much being discussed about the economy on a daily basis in major media outlets, it can sometimes be difficult to keep a positive attitude. Many people are going to their jobs wondering when the proverbial axe will fall. While there are a great deal of people who don’t find satisfaction with their current careers, many find ways to look beyond the cubicle for inspiration and motivation.

Figure Out What You Love
This may be a time of relative adversity, but necessity is the mother of invention. Economists are noticing trends growing in entrepreneurial fields that were once the domain of mainly business people. As the needs of the public change, the people providing goods and services will no doubt change in kind. Figure out what it is you really love and start working toward making that change.

Practice Gratitude
Think about all of the people out there who’ve lost their means of gainful employment. If you are fortunate enough to still have a job, you should be thankful for that each day. Things could definitely be worse; you could be standing in the unemployment line or looking at a foreclosure notice. Try to keep things positive and be grateful for what you are able to have and do because of the job you have.

Find the Silver Lining
Every time something gets you down in your work day, try to find an aspect of your job that counters the negative. It could be a co-worker’s funky ties or an inside joke at the office. Keep photos of family and friends nearby to help you through the tough spots. For added inspiration, place photos of future vacation destinations or some of the places you’ve visited in the past.

Take a Deep Breath
Deep breathing is always pleasurable because it satisfies one of your body’s most basic needs. Inhale deeply through your lungs while relaxing your diaphragm and then exhale through you mouth slowly for twice as much time. Doing this ten times when stressed can help you to relax and center yourself before going on about your day.

Smile Often
Attitudes are contagious—especially negative ones. Try your very best to maintain a positive attitude and smile often. You will soon see others smiling back and this one gesture can foster a pleasant environment of respect and positivity. Rather than spreading the poison of gossip and negativity, be happy and smile as often as you possibly can. You’ll notice remarkable results when you do.

This post was contributed by Courtney Phillips, who writes about the online colleges rated. She welcomes your feedback at CourtneyPhillips80 at gmail.com

Thanks Courtney! “be happy and smile as often as you possibly can.” is wonderful advice for everyone. It makes life go down so much easier!

Filed Under: General, Positive Thought Tagged With: attitude, positive attitude

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