It’s normal to feel insecure from time to time, to doubt your abilities and talents, and even – on occasion – have difficulty finding any kind words for the person you see staring at you in the mirror! Even the most self-confident people in the world feel uncomfortable in their own skin every now and then.
The problem is, if you let this mindset stick around, it won’t be long before your levels of self confidence and self esteem plummet.
There are actually a few proactive things we can do to boost our self esteem and confidence. Use these tips whenever your own confidence begins to slip.
- Make a list of your attributes – physical, emotional, spiritual, educational, etc. Are you a good listener? Write it down. Do you have pretty eyes, a great smile, or great looking hands? They all count. Do you make people laugh? That’s far too important not to write down!
- Write down every compliment you’ve ever received. This, alone, may just do the trick. I was told not long ago that I look like one of my daughters and I’ve been flying on that one, alone, for months. Remember the last time someone told you they loved being around you? That’s a great compliment. How about the fact that people trust and confide in you? Some “compliments” such as this aren’t actually said out loud but they certainly count.
- Come up with one quick, fairly easy task you want to accomplish and then set out to make it happen right away. Even if it’s as simple as cleaning out a closet, accomplishing something always brings about a feeling of self esteem.
- Think about your personal accomplishments – things that you personally were responsible for. Whether it’s getting a high school degree, getting a B in a college class, writing a bog post that someone enjoyed, cooking a great meal…whatever! Linger over each accomplishment as though it had just happened. Soak up the good vibrations.
- If you tend to compare yourself to other people, realize that this is almost as dangerous as eating rat poison. You do not have to be like anyone else – you’re YOU. The things that make you unique are the things that make you special. Embrace the things that separate you from everyone else.
- Pay close attention to “triggers.” These are things that cause you to feel self conscious or to feel that you don’t quite measure up. It could be as simple as wearing a certain color or putting yourself into a particular situation. Make a habit of identifying these “triggers” each time you feel down on yourself. Get rid of the trigger and you get rid of the problem.
- If your self esteem issue is a physical one, as yourself, “What is within my power?” If you feel self conscious about your weight, for example, start a program of exercise and healthier eating TODAY. Being proactive with a problem takes the sting out of it immediately. It’s as though your brain says, “No worry. I got this.”
- Do something right now that’ll make you happy: Whether it’s going for a walk, eating ice cream, having a cup of coffee, having two cups of coffee (sorry, now I’m transposing my wishes on you), grabbing a Chai Tea Latte at Starbucks, taking a long hot shower, letting chocolate work its magic on you, etc. Treat yourself to something that’ll make you smile… because you deserve it.
- A pep talk from someone may be just what the doctor ordered. Talk to someone you’re especially close to – someone who seems to have a way of picking you up when you’re feeling down. They may have just the words you need to hear. If a human isn’t available, never underestimate the power of a pet! Seeing yourself through the eyes of a loving dog or cat can leave you walking on air.
- I saved the best for last – Go out and do something great for someone else. When you put a smile on someone else’s face, you’ll find that the one on your face will be even bigger. Go by Starbuck’s and grab a Latte for you and one for someone else, then surprise them at work or home with both a visit from you AND an awesome treat. It’ll leave both of you smiling all day. There’s something uncommonly fulfilling about making someone else happy. It leaves you feeling great about yourself, which may be just what you need.
If feeling unhappy in your own skin is pretty much the norm rather than the exception for you, you (obviously) fall into the category of having low self esteem. I know you don’t need me to tell you that. Just like you don’t need me to tell you that it can greatly interfere with your life and happiness. You have to really concentrate on taking the above suggestions and running with them. When you begin to feel better, you will, only then, realize what all you’ve been missing out on.
