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Is Graciousness a Dying Trait?

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Quote about Gratitude

I have always, always loved graciousness. I think it’s one of the most beautiful traits a person can have. By contrast, an ungrateful person exhibits such ugliness that it’s difficult to look at them.

When I’ve written a positive book review and the author takes the time to e-mail me or leave a comment on the blog, I mark them down as an author I will forever seek out. Graciousness is often a sign of having a great deal of class. Do I write reviews for this gratitude? Of course not. I write them in an effort to share a book, cookbook, or product that I believe will benefit others.

A few months ago, I wrote a review for a kitchen gadget on my Recipe Blog. They sent me a Starbucks gift card in a thank you card! They earned my love and lifetime devotion with that gesture. Quite frankly, I am just as touched by a “Thanks!” as anything, though. Yes, even as much as Starbucks bucks.

I started thinking more about graciousness recently while reading a “Reader’s Choice Awards” section in a paper from a nearby city. It struck me as quite an honor to have the citizens of your community award you the distinction as being the “best.” Can you imagine? How cool! If I were a business owner, and were given that highest of honors, I would be bursting with so much love and gratitude, I’d come up with a special offer or gift – you know, something to give a hug back.

I started looking at the ads throughout the magazine-style section. There were 121 of them. Each, of course, said something like THANK YOU! and THANK YOU FOR VOTING US BEST FOR 5 YEARS IN A ROW!, etc. However, I was shocked to see that only 10 even offered some sort of a coupon or discount as a gesture of their gratitude. 10 out of 121. Wow. Most seemed to just give off the vibe of, “Of course you voted us the best – we ARE the best!”

The one – literally one – that stood out in the crowd was a Children’s Boutique that offered a free gift when their ad was brought into their store. It wasn’t even a “with purchase” type of thing. The owner (a lady with an understanding of graciousness) just wanted to hug back.

I hope she doesn’t feel lonely up there at the top.

Below are some of my favorite quotes about graciousness:

“Gratitude is the memory of the heart.” – J.B. Massieu

“Silent gratitude isn’t very much use to anyone.” – G.B. Stern

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” – William Arthur Ward

“Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that thankfulness is indeed a virtue.” – William J. Bennett

“Realize that when you get older, you either get senile or become gracious. There’s no in-between. You become senile when you think the world short-changed you, or everybody wakes up to screw you. You become gracious when you realize that you have something the world needs, and people are happy to see you when you come into the room.” – Carlos Santana

How Something as Simple as Gratitude Can Chase the Blues Away

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Living a Life of Gratitude

When you’re feeling blue, you don’t just want to feel better, you want to feel better INSTANTLY – as in 10 minutes ago. One of my favorite tricks for picking yourself back up is, at once, ridiculously easy and ridiculously hard.

Easy because it simply involves expressing gratitude and hard because that’s the last thing we feel like doing when we’re feeling down.  And yet, it’s the best – and fastest – way to snap out of a really rotten mood.

A while back, I was feeling kind of like a grump’s grump.  I could’ve given Oscar the Grouch a few pointers on sourness. I honestly can’t even remember what put me in such a way, but I distinctly remember just sitting and fuming on my living room couch for the better part of the morning.

It finally occurred to me that it really wasn’t much of a way to spend the day – especially one so close to Christmas. I decided to give my favorite “mood zapper” a try and, sure enough, after thinking of a few things (more like people) I was grateful for, the dark cloud lifted and whatever had gotten  me off course that morning suddenly didn’t seem so important.

The thing is, we can only entertain one dominant thought at a time – whether it’s a negative one or a positive one is just about entirely up to us. If we put our energy into focusing on positivity, there isn’t any room left for negativity. It has to pack up its nasty little bags and leave.

Good riddance.

A book I was recently sent to read and review fits perfectly with this approach AND it takes it one step further.  Living a Life of Gratitude (Your Journey o Grace, Joy & Healing), by Sara Wiseman, is a beautifully written book with a very powerful message.

What I love most about this lovely little book is this: It will help you to focus on gratitude, joy, and hopefulness BEFORE negativity has a chance to take root.

From the Introduction:

In the moment we give thanks, everything changes.

Our hearts crack open. We are flooded with love and light. And in that exact instant, we shift from our negative state to an awareness that positive, joyous, and brimming with bliss – we experience the Divine healing that is our birthright.

The trick is to learn how to create this moment not just once in our lifetimes, but over and over again.

The secret is found in gratitude – in the surrender to the grateful heart, the open heart, the heart that willingly walks in the magic and the mystery – not just for a moment or moments, but at all times. – Living a Life of Gratitude (Your Journey o Grace, Joy & Healing), by Sara Wiseman

From the Back Cover:

In the moment that we give thanks, everything changes . . .

. . . Our hearts crack open. We are flooded with love. And in that exact instant, we shift to an awareness that is positive, joyous, and brimming.

Sharing uplifting stories that travel from the beginnings of life to the end, Living a Life of Gratitude shows you how to open your heart to a journey of reflection that will help you slow down and appreciate life for what it is. Whether you use it as a source for discovering inspiration or for strength in times of struggle, this book is a guide to finding light and love, even when you least expect it.

I hope you’ll click through one of the links and read more about Living a Life of Gratitude (Your Journey o Grace, Joy & Healing), by Sara Wiseman. Read the reviews and even take a look inside the book.

One of the most important resolutions we could all make this year is one that few… very, very few… will actually make, and that is to simply be more grateful for all that we have and all that we are.

There’s a lot of peace, contentment, and joy in simply being thankful.

~ Joi

Daddy Nickell Tips, Just in Time for Thanksgiving

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Gratitude is on everyone’s mind this time of year. Isn’t it a shame that the thoughts that are so strong and prevalent during November and December don’t stay as strong and prevalent the rest of the year?!

I have to admit, when I was younger, I never really realized just how beautiful a gracious and thankful heart is.  I remember one Tuesday morning I was having lunch (pizza!) with the pastor of our church, his adorable wife, and a few of our friends. Somehow the subject turned to being thankful and expressing gratitude. Southern preachers do many things with great passion and eating is certainly amongst them, but between bites, our pastor said, “A Gracious heart is a beautiful thing.”

I remember this so clearly because:

  1. It was BY FAR the shortest sermon he ever preached.
  2. It made me realize that, indeed, a gracious heart is a beautiful thing.

My three daughters, with their lives, preach the same sermon this wonderful man did over pizza.  My daughters are so incredibly gracious and thankful that it never ceases to leave an impression on me and I always think of the “Mini Pizza Sermon.”  Graciousness is beautiful.  They express the same gratitude whether I fix them a mug of hot chocolate as they would if I bought them a purse that costs way more than any purse has a right to cost (seriously, what’s up with purses?).

When I read the article below, the tip, “Model the behavior” jumped out at me. I believe that, over the years, my girls saw that my husband (“Daddy” to them!) and I simply don’t take anything for granted. We are always genuinely thankful for anything we have as well as for anything anyone does for us. I think that, more than anything, this helped them to become so beautifully gracious.

I notice graciousness in others and always realize that it speaks absolute volumes about an individual.

Below is a timely article that’s being shared with Self Help Daily’s readers.  It’s written by Robert Nickell (a.k.a. Daddy Nickell) and offers fantastic tips on helping your kids find ways to give thanks. More importantly, it tells how you can help your kids to be more thankful. ~  Joi

Creative Ways Your Family Can Express Thankfulness on Thanksgiving and Beyond

by Daddy Nickell

Thanksgiving is almost here, and parents everywhere are wondering how they can teach their kids how to express thankfulness on the holiday and beyond. Rather than just going around the table and saying a quick list of things they are grateful for, moms and dads want creative and unique “I’m Thankful For…” ideas that will get the kiddos in the spirit of giving thanks!

Daddy Nickell
From his experience in raising 7 children of his own, parenting expert Daddy Nickell has tried-and-true tips on ways to teach your kids how to give thanks:

Creative ways to express thankfulness on Thanksgiving:

  1. Thankfulness jar: Put out a decorative jar with a notepad and pen. Have family members write down things they are thankful for and read the notes at Thanksgiving dinner.
  2. Thankful turkeys: Do the old-fashioned hand turkey or be more elaborate, but have children write something they are thankful for on each of the turkey’s feathers. Use them as place cards or decorations.
  3. Alphabet list: Go around the table and have everyone say something they are thankful for. Be creative and use the alphabet to keep things going (each person has to say something they are thankful for that starts with the next letter in the alphabet.
  4. Dry-erase board display: Have a dry-erase board on prominent display where people can write what they are thankful for.
  5. Thankful songs: Choose a popular tune, such as “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star,” and have each child sing a song starting with the words “I am thankful for…” This will get your kids’ creativity going and is sure to bring joy and many laughs!

Ways to teach your kids how to always give thanks:

  1. Model the behavior. Say “thank you’s” yourself. Remember to thank your children when they make their beds or clean up their messes. Tell them they make you happy when they follow the rules and bring you joy when they sing and dance. Demonstrate thankfulness in your own life.
  2. Make them wait (or work) for it. When kids get everything they ask for the minute they ask for it, they don’t appreciate it. If you make them wait a couple of days or until their next birthday, they will be incredibly grateful for the gifts when they receive them. Children also appreciate things more when they have contributed work or money towards them.
  3. Work thankfulness into your daily conversation. Talk to your kids about how blessed you are to live where you do and remind them how special and important they are to you. Helping a child appreciate what they already have will help them be thankful for their life.
  4. Volunteer. Whether it’s bringing cookies to a neighbor lady, or filling food bags at a homeless shelter, your children will benefit from seeing the joy they can bring to those less fortunate than themselves.
  5. Write thank you notes. Somewhat old-fashioned and definitely on the out, thank you notes require the children to think about each person and why they appreciate them and the gift they gave. It takes time, and every kid loves receiving mail.
  6. Reward thankfulness. Recognize your child when they remember to say “thank you,” especially to a stranger. Tell them how proud or impressed you are with their behavior.

Daddy Nickell’s tips will help all parents teach their kids to be thankful on Thanksgiving and beyond! Use them to ensure that your kids make giving thanks a part of their daily life.
Author: Robert Nickell (a.k.a. Daddy Nickell), father of 7, offers his “5 cents” worth of advice to expectant and new parents. Daddy Nickell is the founder of DaddyScrubs.com, delivery room duds, gifts, and apparel for dads, and the Daddyscrubs.com blog, where he covers topics about parenting and the latest baby and kids gear, all from a Dad’s perspective.

About Daddy Nickell
For his blog, Nickell writes from a father’s perspective on topics such as bonding with your child and what the father should expect during pregnancy and infancy. Daddy Nickell also contributes his parenting expertise to national talk shows and daytime television shows. He has been featured on “Good Morning L.A.,” “Good Morning Texas,” “Daytime TV” ABC15 Phoenix, MSNBC, WZZM 13, San Antonio Living, KSBI TV, and as a syndicated columnist for national newspapers, parenting magazines and websites including Baby Couture Magazine, Oh Baby! Magazine, City Parent Magazine, The Bump, Parenthood, and Homeschooling Parent.

You can also see DaddyScrubs on YouTube, like them on Facebook, and follow them on Twitter (@DaddyScrubs) and Pinterest!

Like Sunlight Through Trees, Graciousness is a Sight to Behold

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Sunlight Through Trees

Graciousness is like the sun shining through trees.  The rays refuse to be held back, or hidden by, circumstances or obstacles. They come shining through and it’s a beautiful thing!

Allow me to be among the first to say that’s it’s a shame we really only talk about thankfulness and gratitude one month out of the year. We should express our graciousness more often than that.

After all, we’re thankful for so much:

  • We’re thankful when we hear our children laugh. No matter how old they grow, the sound of their laughter is magic.
  • We’re thankful when we’re sitting on the couch with our spouse at the end of the day. All’s right with the world at that moment.
  • We’re thankful when we pet our cat or dog’s adorable head. We think, “I can’t imagine life without this little fur ball!”
  • We’re thankful for a warm home when it’s cool outside and a cool one when it’s warm.
  • We’re thankful for a vehicle that starts when we want it to and not just when it wants to.
  • We’re thankful for two arms that work and two legs on which to stand.
  • We’re thankful for our eyesight.
  • We’re thankful for the ability to hear.
  • We’re thankful that we’re able to speak (whether everyone around us always shares this gratitude is a different story!)
  • We’re thankful for the country in which we live.
  • We’re thankful to be free.
  • We’re thankful for the fact that we can run to the store when we discover that we’re out of something in particular.
  • We’re thankful for the fact that we can buy ourselves a new top that catches our eye in Target.
  • The list goes on indefinitely because the blessings go on indefinitely….

Worldwide, few people have most of the things listed above and precious, precious few have all of them.  If that doesn’t fill you with gratitude, I’m not sure anything will.

I’m not suggesting that we aren’t thankful… because I know better than that.  I’m just suggesting that we don’t VOICE it often enough. Why should we only talk about or think about being thankful in November? Aren’t our blessings worth shining a spotlight on the rest of the year?

“The unthankful heart discovers no mercies; but let the thankful heart sweep through the day and as the magnet finds the iron, so it will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings!” – Henry Ward Beecher

Why do we forget to be thankful?

I think most of us get so darn busy trying to better our lives, better ourselves, and better our bank accounts that we forget to look around and see how good we actually have it right now.  We’ve become a generation of people who seem to think we never have it “good” enough.  A generation of people who, irregardless of how much money we have.. we only focus on getting more.

Sadly, we seem to focus more on what’s missing than what’s present.

 “The Pilgrims made seven times more graves than huts. No Americans have been more impoverished than these who, nevertheless, set aside a day of thanksgiving.”  – H. U. Westermayer

Have you ever known someone who had countless blessings, a million things going for them, a life most people would declare was charmed… and, yet, to hear them talk you’d think they were homeless and toothless?! Complain, complain, complain.  Sometimes people only focus their attention on things they want to change – it’s as though that’s all they see.  The sad thing is, these people will probably never be truly thankful. An Estonian proverb says, “Who does not thank for little will not thank for much.”

We should all enjoy and cherish what we have today – we have no written guarantee of having it all tomorrow.

“There is no such thing as gratitude unexpressed.  If it is unexpressed, it is plain, old-fashioned ingratitude.”  – Robert Brault

What good could come from all of us communicating their gratitude more often?

When someone is gracious, it’s contagious.  Especially if everything in their life isn’t what most of us would consider “charmed.”  When someone says, “My life may not be perfect, but I’m perfectly thankful for my life,” it has a rippling effect. Everyone else begins to feel a little more thankful as well.

Besides that, gracious people are radiantly beautiful! There’s nothing more attractive than someone who is grateful for their life and thankful to be alive.

While gracious people have a positive effect on others, the greatest reward of their thankfulness manifests itself in their own life.  They’re happier!  As author and Benedictine monk Brother David Steindl-Rast puts it, “In daily life we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy.”

I hope you’ll spread the word today about things you’re thankful for – whether it’s below in the comments, verbally with your family and friends, or on social media. Personally, I hope you’ll do each of the aforementioned!  Here’s a twitter challenge, name three things you’re thankful for and use the “hashtag” #ListOf3

“When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around.” – Willie Nelson

~ Joi

See More Quotes About Thankfulness.