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Keeping a Sense of Humor: My Personal Weapon of Choice

November 2, 2016 by Joi Leave a Comment

Every time you find humor in a bad situation, you win!
I’m not perfect. I am so far from perfect we don’t share the same zip code.

Or time zone.

Or President.

You get the idea.

However, it’s often us woefully imperfect humans that have the most to share that could be of a helpful nature to others. Why? Because when we hit upon something right or good, it stands out like a lighthouse in the dark of night. We’re like, “Holy cats! I got this right! Let me tell you about it!”

One of the things this imperfect human “got right” was this: At some point along life’s highway, I decided that having (and keeping) a sense of humor is the secret to life. Okay, secret to life may be a little dramatic, but you can’t really fault me for that – I grew up watching Susan Lucci on All My Children. How could I not, at times, wax dramatic?

Someone else I grew up with was a father who was probably never serious for more than 10 minutes at a stretch. That’s undoubtedly where I got it from. That and an overwhelming obsession with birds, westerns, flowers, and coffee.

Cool genes.

In my Twitter bio (on my personal Twitter account, @JoiTaniaSigers), I even mention my refusal to take anything too seriously. That, of course does not imply that I am not serious when in the presence of things that are of a serious nature. Far from it. It simply means that a sense of humor is one of the two things I’ll always carry with me into any battle.

Even if the battle is an MRI and even if it’s God, Himself, I’m cracking jokes with.

When I was in my mid-twenties, my oldest daughter and I were in a bad wreck (it wasn’t remotely my fault, I just want to put that out there – so many vehicular mishaps ARE of my doing, I’m darn sure going to crow when one isn’t).  I had to have an MRI – which is perfect, perfect, perfect HELL for someone who is claustrophobic. H-E-L-L. I was scared to death leading up to the MRI and I was scared to death as I was rolled into the narrow machine.

So, with eyes tightly shut, I prayed. And prayed. And prayed. (Prayer is the other thing I carry into battles.) At one point, I prayed for God to send a guardian angel to help calm my nerves so I could last for the full 30 minutes. Then I said, “No! Cancel that last order… there isn’t room for both of us! DO NOT send an angel in here.”

I immediately pictured God chuckling at my silliness and had to chuckle myself.

I lasted the 30 minutes.

Just last night, while making supper, I burned my left hand badly. No, let’s give it the respect it deserves – I burned it BADLY. I splashed a good deal of HOT bacon grease out of my iron skillet and onto the front of my left hand – and up a finger.

It hurt like crazy. It hurt like crazy when they put medication on my hand in the urgent care center and it hurt when they wrapped it. It hurt as I sat up in bed last night when I should’ve been sleeping. Kind of hard to sleep when the entire top surface of your hand and one finger are blistered up and burning like someone sat a match to a glove and stuck your hand in it.

It hurts like crazy now too – in fact, my left hand is hating me with a cruel hatred with each word I type. It’s like, “You’re doing this, why?? First you baptize me with hot bacon grease and now you’re putting me on a keyboard treadmill??”

A lot of pain and inconvenience involved – But, like the MRI, the bacon grease and the pain did not win. I won. Why? I found the humor in the situation.

That’s the thing about seeing things through clown glasses (whenever possible), you take full control of the situation – you snatch it right out of the enemy’s claws. This morning, as I sat looking at the bandaged hand and wondering when or if  it would actually quit hurting, I realized that I needed to let my psyche and my family know that I was okay…. that’d I’d come out on top and had taken victory out of the enemy’s claws.

I found a stuffed girl bear, put some tape on her paw (her left paw, like mine), and took a picture.  I sent it to my daughters and said, “Twinsies!”

Being goofy, being silly, being downright weird, and laughing – those are my weapons and this was my way of letting my girls know that I’d won.

Whatever you’re going through, I’m with you in spirit. I know bad situations are not funny – but I also know that if you can find any humor whatsoever, it will save you.

I am now going to give this poor hand a break and pour a tall glass of iced tea, sit in my favorite chair, watch Andy Griffith reruns – and pray the episode where the farmer’s barn burns down isn’t in the lineup.

~ Joi (“Joy”)

Twinsies
Twinsies!

Filed Under: Daily Quote, How to Be Happy, Positive Thought, Problem Solving Tagged With: finding humor in bad situations, how to be happy, humor

Review: Cultivating Gratitude – A Guided Journal for a Positive Mindset

June 24, 2016 by Joi 1 Comment

Cultivating Gratitude: A Guided Journal for a Positive Mindset by Beth Bunchman

Cultivating Gratitude: A Guided Journal for a Positive Mindset  by Beth Bunchman

Call me honey because I am on a big roll. I am in the midst of a great string of books that I’ve been sent to review on Self Help Daily. One after the next, they’ve just been exceptional. It makes it kind of tough to review them, actually, because I want to devote enough time to each one. I also worry about them getting lost in the rush of reviews – which is why I take care to “group” reviews of different books within the same time frame.

Today’s book is (I reasoned) a perfectly beautiful one to close out the week with. I resonate with this book – from the colorful cover to the entire attitude and vibe, this book and I are simpatico and, I have a feeling, it’s beautiful author and I would get along famously.

From the Back Cover:

Write, doodle, & brainstorm your way to a positive mindset.

In this journal you will focus on nurturing and nourishing your mindset for greater overall health and happiness.

Within these pages you will find thought-provoking journal prompts, ample space for writing or drawing, and numerous garden-themed doodles for coloring.

You can plant seeds of gratitude, grow your gratitude garden, and watch your life landscape begin to shift in just minutes a day.

Benefits of this gratitude practice may include: improved sleep, stronger immune system, greater optimism, decreased anxiety and depression, higher quality relationships, and a sense of community.

While the title of this colorful, upbeat book is, “Cultivating Gratitude,” I think it could have just as easily been “Cultivating Happiness” – truth be told, there are so many wonderful names it could call itself. However, in the end, the one it goes by is probably the best because that’s where happiness and positivity begin. If you aren’t grateful… truly deep-down grateful… how on earth can you be happy or positive?

Answer: You can’t.

{Review Continued Below….}

Cultivating Gratitude: A Guided Journal for a Positive Mindset

Cultivating Gratitude: A Guided Journal for a Positive Mindset  by Beth Bunchman

Ironically, I’ve actually been thinking a lot lately about gratitude. Gratitude is a beautiful trait- but it’s a vanishing trait. People seem to think they’re owed this and due that. When you do someone a favor, they act like, “It’s about dang time you served me, servant!” Okay, that may be exaggerating, but you get the idea. People simply aren’t as grateful for what they have or what is done for them these days.

Is it any coincidence that positivity and happiness are also less prevalent these days? I don’t think it’s a coincidence at all.

From the Introduction:

We’ll start out slow and easy – focusing on the positives in life by creating beautiful lists of all the wonderful things about your life and pushing you to find the bright side of some of your struggles.

But this journal will go much deeper than that.

• In Step 1, we’ll cover your personal and professional life, physical and emotional body, spirit, strengths and accomplishments, and the things you do to nourish your true self, as well as your opportunities for growth. (Whether you complete one page per day or per month, you are sure to experience enhanced daily positivity, gratitude, and appreciation!)

• Then, in Step 2, you will use that massive fire of positive energy you have created to go within, address the ego, and re-ignite your intuition. You will work to nourish the body, mind, and spirit as you transition from a body-centric view of “self” to a soul-centered view.

• In Step 3, you will begin to step into your own power to become a source of love and light in the world. You will find confidence in your own unique skills, acknowledge your new attitude of gratitude, and create a ripple of appreciation throughout your community.

This journal is also a coloring & doodle book. Throughout the book you will find loads of white space to write or doodle. You will also find a lovely selection of doodles and drawings included for you to support your creative process.

{Review Continued Below….}

Cultivating Gratitude: A Guided Journal for a Positive Mindset by Beth Bunchman

Cultivating Gratitude: A Guided Journal for a Positive Mindset  by Beth Bunchman

About the Author: Beth lives in Conifer, Colorado with her wonderful husband of thirteen lucky years, Dr. Matt Bunchman, DMD. Together they have three amazing children, two crazy dogs and a budding homestead complete with beehive, chickens, rabbits, and a small garden. She loves spending time with her family and friends, hiking, gardening, drawing, painting, scrapbooking, writing, and reading.

Cultivating Gratitude: A Guided Journal for a Positive Mindset
 

Why I Love this Journal and, More Importantly, Why You Will Love this Journal!

Have you ever brainstormed? It’s a glorious thing! I do my best thinking and soul-searching when my cat Alexa and I are sitting at the kitchen table – pen and paper in had. I write down my goals, thoughts, “to do”s, and “gotta do”s.  I think of it as getting in touch with myself and centering my world.

Sure, that sounds kind of like hippy speak, but it’s the only way I can think to describe it. I center myself.

A guided journal, such as this beautiful and perfectly done one, is the ideal way to get in touch with yourself and the world around you. It slows down the pace of your life and reminds you of the things that matter. This wonderful guide will enlighten you and entertain you.

By the end of the journal, you will be a more gracious person and, as a result, a happier one.  Find  Cultivating Gratitude: A Guided Journal for a Positive Mindset  by Beth Bunchman on Amazon and take the journey with her.

You’re going to love every step of the way! ~ Joi (“Joy”)

Cultivating Gratitude: A Guided Journal for a Positive Mindset

Filed Under: Book Reviews, Books I Love, How to Be Happy, Positive Thought Tagged With: book review, how to be happy, how to be more positive, journal

How to Feel Happy When Happy is the Last Thing You Feel

June 15, 2016 by Joi Leave a Comment

Choose to Be Happy!

When You’re Feeling Sad, Your First Move is to CHOOSE Happiness!

Some of the most searched for topics online are…

  • How to be happy.
  • How to feel happy when you’re sad.
  • How to overcome sadness.
  • How to cope with depression.
  • How to cope with sadness.
  • How to keep from crying…

So many people with so many feelings – feelings that aren’t measuring up to what they want, or need, them to be. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t kind of break my heart that so many people are so desperate to feel happier that they turn to search engines.  I wish I could pop into each one’s world, with two Raspberry Smoothies in hand (one for me and one for them) and try to lift their spirits.

If you, ironically, have landed among these words through a search engine via words like the ones above – I can’t share my raspberry smoothie with you right now but I hope I can help, if only just a little.

It won’t be for a lack of trying.

There are times in life when we’re going to feel down just as there are times in life when we’re going to feel downright giddy. We all “get that,” of course, but when we’re in the lower ranks of emotions, it’s not a lot of comfort.

Access the Situation.

Before you continue your pursuit of happiness, ask yourself a few questions.

  1. Has something, in particular happened that has made me sad? If this is the case, cut yourself some slack. Your a flesh and blood human being and, as a result, have emotions. When something is painful, we feel pain. When something hurts our feelings, it leaves a bruise on our psyche. It’s natural. As with physical injuries, emotional injuries take time to heal. Give it time.
  2. Have I been getting enough sleep? A lack of sleep makes us prone to be overcome by emotions much more easily than we are when we’re fully rested. What you’re feeling right now could probably be alleviated GREATLY by a glorious nap.
  3. Have I taken any over the counter medications? Certain medications can do a number on the way you feel. Benadryl and other allergy medications, for example, can really play tricks with your emotions. You can find yourself thinking, “I’m sad..” when you know full-well you have nothing to be sad about. If this is the case, keep reminding yourself, “It’s the Benadryl whining, it’s not ME!“

Accessing the situation should always be your first step in dealing with the blues.

Once you have a pretty good idea what the REASON is, you can move on to making yourself feel better. What makes me feel better may be exactly what makes you feel better – then again, what floats my boat may sink your’s! Read through the list of “Pick Me Up“s below and find the ones that resonate with you.  It may take one, it may take three, and – if your emotions really and truly have the upper hand today! – it may take 10.

Pick Me Ups When You’re Feeling Down (OR How to Feel Happy Again!)

  • Contact “THAT” Person. We all have at least one person in our life who just seems to make the day brighter. Their outlook is almost always positive, they laugh easily and freely, and they seem to have a gift for taking negative vibes and spinning them into something positively beautiful. If at all possible, invite this person out to lunch or over for coffee. Spending time with them may be just what you need. Emotions and “vibes” are contagious, after all. Keeping that in mind, avoid the “Negative Nancies” until you’re in a better place. The last thing you need in your vulnerable position is someone bringing you further down!
  • Spend Time with a Cat or Dog. In a similar vein to the above, spending time with a pet can do wonders for your mood.
  • Carve an Hour Out of Your Day and Engage in Your Favorite Hobby. If you love reading, read for an entire hour (bliss!). If you love photography, take your camera and have at it. Do what you love for a whole hour and, after it’s over, take another if you can.
  • Spend Some Time Outside. For whatever reasons, many times simply going outdoors can lift your mood. Take a walk, sit and listen to the birds, do a little yard work.. just enjoy the great outdoors.
  • Be Active. Physical activity often lifts your mood and chases emotional clouds away.
  • Accomplish Something.  There is something incredibly satisfying about accomplishing something, whether it’s cleaning the refrigerator, washing your car, writing a blog post, straightening your closet, or catching up on laundry. Simply getting something done and sitting back and looking at it is a great feeling. The last time I had a little case of the blues (thanks Benadryl), I washed my vehicle and cleaned the inside as well. The combination of time spent outdoors, physical activity, and having something accomplished all worked together like magic.
  • Treat Yourself. This one is pretty fun, if you ask me. Whatever your idea of a “special treat” is, treat yourself!  Sundae, smoothie, new book, makeup, golf towel, pink top, blue top, lunch at Olive Garden… buy yourself something deliciously unnecessary and love every second.
  • Talk to Someone if You Think It’d Help.  Maybe it comes from being an only child, but I’ve never been one for “talking it out” when it comes to my feelings. I tend to sort them out on my own, if you will. However, it seems that the majority of humans love to talk it out with someone. Can I suggest that you at least do in face to face with someone you trust and not take it to social media?  Please… I’m begging, here.
  • Harness Your Thoughts. One of my favorite verses in the Bible is perfect for times when you feel low. Why? It reminds us where to corral our thoughts – “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.” (Philippians 4:8 NIV)  This beautiful verse could probably cure more emotional ills than Dr. Phil could name. Point your thoughts in the right direction and watch everything else follow.

Final Thought
When you have a terrible cold, what do you do? Sit around and lament the runny nose, curse the aches, and vow that you’ll never feel better again? Of course not. You know that it most certainly will pass and that your happily ever after has not been compromised.  The same is true when your emotions have a “terrible cold” – this will pass and you’ll be yourself in no time.

While “down,” do as you would when nursing a cold. Take extra good care of yourself, get more rest than normal, eat right, and hug your cat (or dog) often.

Feel better soon!

~ Joi (“Joy”)

 

Filed Under: How to Be Happy, Positive Thought, Problem Solving Tagged With: how to be happy, how to get rid of the blues, how to improve your mood

Coping with an Illness: Overcoming Feelings of Sadness and Anger

March 15, 2016 by Joi 1 Comment

How to Find Happiness in Spite of Your Sickness

Lake Barkley at Sunset

  • How can you keep from feeling depressed when you have a chronic illness?
  • How can you feel happy when you’re sick?!
  • How can you keep diabetes (or high blood pressure, Celiac Disease, cancer, or other illnesses) from stealing your joy and happiness?
  • Can you be truly happy when you have a chronic illness?
  • How can I keep from feeling discouraged when I suddenly have to think about my health so often?
  • How can you get used to having a chronic illness?
  • How can I get used to checking my blood pressure daily?
  • How can I get used to giving myself a shot every day?

The above are what we’d have to call very FAIR questions. From what I’ve seen, heard, and experienced, the most difficult illnesses and/or conditions to handle are those that seemingly come out of the blue. They land smack dab in the middle of your world – completely  unannounced and most definitely without an invitation.

Welcomed or not, chronic illnesses and conditions become part of our lives and have little (if any) intention of leaving.

From Web MD: A chronic illness is a condition that lasts for a very long time and usually cannot be cured completely, although some illnesses can be controlled or managed through lifestyle (diet and exercise) and certain medications. Examples of chronic illnesses include diabetes, heart disease, arthritis, kidney disease, HIV/AIDS, lupus, multiple sclerosis…

Getting Used to Chronic Illness

While I named this section, “Getting Used to a Chronic Illness,” in all actuality what we’re really looking for is a way to make peace with a chronic illness. “Getting used to” something is pretty misleading. I mean, technically, how would one ever “get used to” pain or discomfort?

What we really WANT and what we really NEED is peace of mind. Peace is always better than war and when we find ourselves struggling with feelings of anger, remorse, self-pity, and frustration, we are at war with an enemy we must find a way to live with.

You may feel anger, sadness, and even a sense of being overwhelmed. You may miss how life used to be, before everything changed. I want you to know that there is nothing wrong with feeling these emotions.  You aren’t wrong to not want to be sick! You aren’t wrong to wish you were free from this particular illness or condition.

You’re human after all.

If you’ve read Self Help Daily (or my food blog for that matter), you know that I recently developed a chronic condition (or, more to the point, a pre-existing condition came boiling to the surface).  While I am THRILLED that I don’t have anything terminal or what we’d term “serious,” I am greatly annoyed by its presence. I’ve had to completely change how I eat and cook. For someone who has always been a very passionate cook, this felt like a kick in the gut.

Come to think of it… literally at times.

I had to completely give up gluten and wheat, which to be honest, I’m completely fine with now. The damage done to my insides, however, is something I’ll have to live with. My stomach is easily upset if I eat the wrong type of food and, thanks to the damage combined with a hiatal hernia, heartburn is a frequent, particularly unattractive guest.

The heartburn and GERD, actually, only showed up this year. Their “newness” is probably what has hit me so hard. Maybe your particular illness or condition are the same. Maybe, like me, you went YEARS without your illness – be it high blood pressure, Celiac Disease, diabetes, or any other “unattractive guest.”  I think you could make a strong case for these illnesses being much harder to cope with than those we have either all of our life or for over 10 years.

Here’s an example: Asthma is an old friend of mine. I’ve had it since I was a baby, so I don’t know life without asthma. Many times, my husband or daughters will hear me wheeze before I’ve even registered the fact. A while back, I realized I was short of breath and heard wheezes coming from my chest. I simply put down the book I was reading, found my inhaler, used it, and went back to my book. I never gave the process a second thought.

The very next night, however, I felt heartburn coming on and every emotional switch in my body went on high alert.

“Why?!”
“What the heck?”
“This is so not cool!”
“Where are those darn Tums?!”

Fortunately for my husband and cat, I didn’t have my mini meltdown out loud – all the angry questions took place inside my mind. After chewing a Tums, all was well and peace was restored in my chest and mind.  Then it hit me… why did I react like this to something as simple as heartburn and yet didn’t blink an eye to an actual breathing condition?

This article actually sprang forth from that single thought. When a new illness or chronic condition springs itself on you, it is a shock.  I think we tend to be in denial for a while..

  • … it’s just something I ate…
  • … I’m just tired…
  • … must have a bug…
  • …. this will pass….

Once shock and denial give in to reality, anger sets in – usually joined by sadness.  You read up on your condition and realize, “Life is never going to be the same again.”

Can you get used to the new condition or illness? No. You can, however, learn to live with it and even make peace with it.

I promise. Keep reading.

A New Normal

Think back to the first time you had to start wearing contacts or glasses. Think back to when (thanks to father time) you had to give up a particular sport – or at least had to cut back on the amount of time you spent with it. Think back to when you had to make the font on your computer screen larger. Think back to when you had to stop drinking so much caffeine.

If you’re like most people, these changes are so much a part of your life right now that you can’t even remember what it was like BEFORE.  Why are you so comfortable with them? They’re your normal.

Whatever chronic condition or illness you have right now is your new normal. The sooner you acknowledge it as such, the better you will feel.  And here’s the real heart of the matter – no matter what condition/illness you’re up against, you MUST HAVE a positive outlook and peace of mind. Being at war in your body will only make matters worse.

You must find peace, which means accepting that which is seemingly unacceptable. Acceptance can be the most powerful step we ever take.  That does not mean, in any way, that you are giving in to the illness. Heck no! It means you are making yourself remain calm and in control.

You’re basically telling it, “YOU’RE the newcomer. You’ve come into my life, but you are not my life. You are not going to rob me of any happiness, joy, or peace. What’s more, I’m going to use you to my benefit!”  (More on that last thing you told your illness in a minute – but, rest assured, you meant it.)

Here’s a little checklist for taking your new guest from nemesis to normal:

  1. Breathe. Take deep, cleansing, healing deep breaths and do so often. When we’re under stress, we often hold our breath without realizing it. That, or we’ll take frequent shallow breaths. Either extreme puts every system in our body on high alert because they assume we’re under attack. Naturally, this only brings about more stress, anxiety, and even feelings of panic. Breathe.
  2. Focus on Loveliness. Forgive me for sounding like a greeting card, but sometimes a flowery word like loveliness is the only one that’ll do.  Having a chronic illness or condition isn’t lovely. Heartburn, high blood pressure, chronic pain, multiple doctor’s visits, daily shots, frequent tiredness, headaches.. none of these are lovely. When you have one or more of them, however, they require a certain amount of attention. The trick is not to DWELL there. Give them the attention they require (whether it’s with medication, a nap, heating pad, ice pack, or good old fashioned hot bath), then step away. Don’t stand there staring at the wreckage, so to speak. Switch your focus to something… that’s right… lovely. For me, lovely is my family, my cats, birds, trees, animals, recipes, and flowers. For you, this may mean fishing, television, golf, or a home improvement circular! Move your mind, your eyes, and  your attention from the unlovely to the lovely and be cognizant of it throughout the day.
  3. Do your homework. Read up on your condition or illness and find ways others are dealing with discomfort, illness, restlessness, pain, or other symptoms you’re experiencing.  Do everything you can to find what works for you. It’s your life, remember, and the illness is a guest – not the other way around. Often, good old fashioned naturally “home remedies” can relieve symptoms better than anything else.  Chai Tea Lattes and coffee, for example, relieve my asthma symptoms better than inhalers and they’re tastier too. Naturally, if it’s too late for one of these miracles in a mug, I go with the inhaler. Do your homework – never replace a doctor’s orders with anything you turn up, though, and if you have a serious illness, seek his/her advice at all times.
  4. Practice being nonchalant. The next time your illness or condition presents you with discomfort,  respond with, “… well this is nothing…. it’s just _____.”  Saying the words is a powerful thing. Trust me, I’ve tried it! But you have to do it each time your nemesis looks you in the eye.
  5. Eat a healthy diet. Eating plenty of fruits and vegetables will make you feel better, inside and out. Many conditions are actually improved by simply eating a healthier diet and by getting plenty of vitamins.
  6. Take supplements if needed. Vitamin deficiencies are common among those with chronic illnesses. Low iron, magnesium, B vitamins, and Vitamin D can affect your mood as well as your body. Have your levels checked if you feel something is off. Getting the right amount of any of these vitamins can make a world of difference in how you feel – physically and emotionally.
  7. Get plenty of rest. When your body is coping with an illness or condition, it is working harder than you realize. That’s why we often feel so tired when we’re sick – our body is at work trying to heal itself. This extra work is exhausting! If you feel too tired to go to a party, say so. If you feel like turning in at 8:00, sweet dreams! You know your body better than anyone else. If it’s tired, let it rest.

Your illness/condition is your new normal. All the tears, outbursts, and sulking will not make it go away – they will only allow it to steal more from you than it already has. What’s more, emotional upheavals simply drain more of your body’s precious energy. Time it has to spend making sure your emotional state is balanced could be better spend making sure your physical state is balanced.

Deal with Emotions as they Arise

Okay. We’re accepting our new normal. We have no intention of allowing this new normal to rob us of our happiness or peace. However, there will be emotions that’ll need to be dealt with.  Having emotions does not make you bad – it makes you human.

  • When you feel overwhelmed by your new normal, talk it out with someone.
  • When you feel frustrated by the new restrictions in your life, focus on the things this illness can’t touch. Can you still sit in the front yard and listen to songbirds? Can you can still enjoy a book by your favorite author? Can you take a nice stroll around the yard or park? Can you listen to your favorite music? Can you spend a little time reliving favorite memories? Think of as many things you CAN do and don’t spend another minute thinking about the things you can’t do.
  • When you have questions, ask them.
  • When you hear a small voice inside ask, “Why me?” answer with, “Oh, that’s easy. Because you’re strong enough to handle it.”

No matter what end of the spectrum your new normal is – whether it’s GERD/Heartburn, High Blood Pressure, Cancer, Diabetes, Heart Disease, or a disease I couldn’t even begin to spell… realize that it has already taken enough from you. Refuse to let it have your peace of mind or happiness.

{Continued Below…}

Quote About Perspective by Dr. Wayne Dyer

Using Your Illness to Your Benefit!

Earlier, you put your illness in its place. You told it that it was a guest in your life and that it wasn’t going to rob you of your happiness or peace of mind. Remember? You even told it that you were going to use it to your benefit. I’m not sure you believed yourself, so I’m going to try to back up your words.

Many people, when confronted with a chronic illness or life-changing condition, find that other areas of their life are enriched.  Whether you’re confronted with life and death with your “new normal” or are simply forced to alter areas of your life, make no mistake about it… you begin to appreciate life and all of its moments more. Little things pass away like a snowflake in a snowstorm. So-and-So‘s long hair… big deal. Such-and-Such‘s fifth marriage… hope this one takes!  Not enough money to buy a new refrigerator… kind of like the way this one moans anyway.

Seriously. When you stare eye to eye with an illness, you gain an insight to life that others simply don’t have. You appreciate the little things others step over. You watch them fly off the handle over minute things and wonder what the fuss is.

You appreciate life and all of its moments more than ever.

Perhaps this is why so many people with chronic illnesses enjoy sweeter relationships.  They don’t “pick” at people or measure their imperfections.  They don’t spend time thinking of ways this or that person doesn’t quite measure up.  When you appreciate life on such a huge level, you don’t take time to judge people – you use your time to love them.

Many people also use their illness to their benefit by “opening up” the world around them. They’ll take up new hobbies, learn new things, explore new places – each of which probably would not have taken place in their “old normal.”

Your new normal can bring a lot more to your world that is GOOD than you ever thought possible, but you have to let it. The more time you spend dwelling on the negative, the longer it’ll take you to get to a better place.

{Finished Below…}

It is what it is but it will be what you make it!

Final Thoughts

When you feel frustrated, sad, angry, or overwhelmed – cut yourself some slack. No one else can possibly know what it’s like for you. They would have had to lived YOUR life in the past and they would have to be living YOUR life now to know what it’s like for you.  Be patient with yourself and forgive yourself when you occasionally get down. The trick is to not stay down. Get back up and keep going.

Your new normal will soon become your normal – and you know how normals are, they’re barely given a second thought. They just are.

{Continued Below…}

Give yourself the time you need and the extra rest you will require. If you need a mid-day nap, take it! Don’t worry what others say or think – this is your life and you know what you need to feel your best. Stay well-rested, your body, mind, and emotions will all function better.

Also, remember that stress will creep in at times. Whether it’s extra medication, discomfort, or life restrictions, stress and anxiety will pop up from time to time. When they do, for crying out loud, don’t roll out the welcome mat! Insist that they leave immediately. Below are a few suggestions for getting rid of stress and anxiety:

  • Go outdoors. Fresh air and sunshine do wonders for your mood.
  • Spend time with your pet. Time spent with animals is never wasted.
  • Take a walk.
  • Read a book.  A great Agatha Christie mystery will keep your brain cells too busy to stress.
  • Watch a movie – an old western, maybe?!
  • Flip through a magazine or Avon brochure. It’s all but impossible to feel stressed when looking at nail polish.
  • Turn on Motown or Oldies.
  • Talk to a family member or friend who always seems to lift your spirits.
  • Last – but in NO way least – pray. Prayer chases stress and anxiety away and leaves peace and contentment in their place.

Filed Under: Health, How to Be Happy, Positive Thought, Problem Solving Tagged With: contentment, coping with illness, happiness, how to be happy, peace of mind

Three Week Challenge: Be Kinder Than You Have to Be….

May 19, 2015 by Joi 2 Comments

Be Kinder than You Have to Be
This is one of those “Self Improvement Hacks” that is so simple and so “flowery” that the average person dismisses it without a single thought.

I hope you aren’t average.

We’re all after the same thing – peace, happiness, joy, stress-free days, good health, and more reasons to smile than to frown.

More reasons to laugh than cry. More opportunities to speak positive words than negative ones.

We want happier families and relationships – everyone getting along, laughing, and enjoying life’s ride together.

One of the simplest paths you can take to this “ideal world” doesn’t involve hard work, special talent, acquired skills, or even money.

It simply calls for you to show up!

This challenge is simple: you just have to be kinder than you have to be for three weeks.

What does being kinder than you have to be entail?

  • Saying kind things to others when you’d rather just say, “Hi.”
  • Biting your tongue when you want to ridicule, criticize, or even “tease.”
  • Telling people to have a wonderful day… and meaning it.
  • Asking how their day was, THEN listening and actually caring.
  • Allowing others to think differently than you do.
  • Complimenting people for the sake of seeing them smile.
  • Doing little things that you know will make someone else happy.

The list goes on, but you get the idea – being kinder than you have to be means thinking about THEM instead of YOU.

But here’s the thing. This challenge isn’t even for them. It’s actually for you…. but, shhhh, no one has to know.

 

It won’t even take the full three weeks for you to reap the benefits. I promise you, you’ll feel happier and more at peace almost immediately. Watch how others respond to this kindness and watch how it makes you feel.

It feels good to be make others feel good… so good, in fact, that it’ll become a lifelong habit.

I promise. Please try it. Be kinder than you have to be for three weeks. You’ll never go back to being any other way.  It is truly one of the secrets to happiness, happier families, peace, and even better health.

~ Joi

Filed Under: Happier Families, How to Be Happy, Positive Thought Tagged With: happiness, how to be happier, how to be happy

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