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Thursday Throwback: Take a Chance

January 12, 2012 by Joi Leave a Comment

Walt Disney Quote About Failure

Sometimes I wonder if “common sense” isn’t another way of saying “fear.” And “fear” too often spells failure. – Walt Disney

Take a Chance by Walt Disney

In the lexicon of youth… there is no such word as fail! – Edward Bulwer-Lytton

I wonder how many times these sturdy old words have been used in graduation speeches each year.  Tehy take me back to my own high-school days, when I had my first pair of white flannel trousers and the world ahead held no  heartbreak or fear.

Certainly we have all had this confidence at one time in our lives, though most of us lose it as we grow older.  Perhaps, because of my work, I’ve been lucky enough to retain a shred of this youthful quality.  But sometimes, as I look back on how tough things were, I wonder if I’d go through it again.  I hope I would.

When I was about twenty-one, I went broke for the first time.  I slept on chair cushions in my “studio” in Kansas City and ate cold beans out of a can.  But I took another look at my dream and set out for Hollywood.

Foolish? Not to a youngster.  An older person might have had too much “common sense” to do it.  Sometimes I wonder if “common sense” isn’t another way of saying “fear.” And “fear” too often spells failure.

In the lexicon of youth there is no such word as “fail.”  Remember the story about the boy who wanted to march in the circus parade?  When the show came to town, the bandmaster needed a trombonist, so the boy signed up.  He hadn’t marched a block before the fearful noises from his horn caused two old ladies to faint and a horse to run away.  The bandmaster demanded, “Why didn’t you tell me you couldn’t play the trombone?” And the boy said, “How did I know? I never tried before!”

Many years ago, I might have done just what that boy did.  Now I”m a grandfather and have a good many gray hairs and what a lot of people would call common sense.  But if I’m not longer young in age, I hope I stay young enough in spirit never to fear failure – young enough still to take a chance and march in the parade.  – Walt Disney

Filed Under: Self Confidence, Thursday Throwback Tagged With: inspirational story, quote, taking chances, Walt Disney

Clara and Clarence

September 17, 2011 by Joi 3 Comments

Flowers on Kentucky Dam Village Golf Course

“Look at everything as though you were seeing it either for the first or last time.” – Betty Smith

I have a few people I’m excited for you to meet. You could say I”m even anxious for you to meet them! I think they have something important to teach you; a beautiful illustration to draw for you; and a life-changing way of looking at life that live inside your heart forever.  Their names are Clara and Clarence, but before making the introductions, there’s one thing you should know:  They both recently died.

There are many things in life that I do not do:

  • budget my money well
  • budget my money at all
  • pass by a Starbucks
  • stick to a diet
  • begin a diet
  • sit still
  • worry (life’s too short)
  • clean closets (life’s too short)
  • skip any of the 20,000 words women say daily
  • read the obituaries

Which is why it’s so strange that a few nights ago, while sitting with my husband, getting my 20,000 in, and looking through our local newspaper, I stopped at the obituaries section.  Some of the recently departed were represented with recent photographs and a few were represented with photographs that were apparently taken in their hey day (personally, that’s what I’d want!).  Two individuals were represented by sweet recent pictures, with pictures of each one of them below. Clever families! These two individuals (no doubt you’ve guessed by now that they’re the stars of this post, Clarence and Clara) caught my eye and I had to read more about them.

Clarence, with his very handsome pictures, was “above the fold,” so I read about him first. Kind of surreal, isn’t it? An entire life’s story summed up in 3 paragraphs. Twitter has nothing on obituaries.

First of all, I should tell you that Clara and Clarence (although their names sound as though they were twins or married SO long even their names began to look alike), were not related. They simply happened to pass away on the same day, rejoined their prospective spouses on the same day, and caught the eye of an overly caffeinated self help blogger on the same day.

Clarence wore a hat in each of his pictures. He had a precious smile in the more recent picture, and something about the smile told me he was a charmer. In the younger picture, he wore his Marine’s uniform and a serious expression replaced the smile. I guess that isn’t hard to understand.  The younger Clarence had movie star looks – with his strong manly facial features and George Clooney eyebrows.  Handsome Clarence lived to be 88 years old!  He was married to his wife for 48 years before losing her to Heaven. As I read the words, I couldn’t help smiling at the sweet reunion they surely had.

I hope he wore his hat.

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” – Albert Einstein

Clara’s adorable recent picture brought a tear to my eye.  Something about her eyes remind me of my grandmother’s eyes.  The same sparkle and the gleam was in this grandmother’s eyes that were in mine. Something about those eyes told me that these ladies were a lot alike, and I’m going out on a limb here, but I bet neither of them short-changed their 20,000 words a day either. In fact, Clara’s obituary stated that she liked sharing stories… that’s my girl!  No wonder I felt such a bond.

Clara beat Clarence by a few years.  This lovely lady lived to be 92 years old.  She was born in 1919!  How amazing is that? The fact that she was married in 1936 blew my youngest daughter’s mind. Clara, too, was preceded in death by her spouse. They had been married 57 years when she lost him.  The happy ending, of course, is that she found him.

I couldn’t help staring at Clara’s younger picture. What a beauty! The picture was apparently taken in the ’30s, which tells me she made one stunning bride.  In this picture, her hair’s up in the back and she’s wearing some sort of an elaborate flower in her hair.  Her beautiful face reminds me of the character Ado Annie in Oklahoma – and I’m willing to bet that  Mrs. Clara had at least as much spirit and sass.

After reading their life stories (infuriatingly summed up in mere paragraphs – I’d have loved to learn more about each), I finally pulled myself away from their beautiful faces.  I noticed that a few things lingered in my mind and heart:

  • The things each must have seen! Think about the things you and I have seen in our lifetimes. Now, imagine that these two saw all of those as well as SO much more. How fascinating it would have been to sit down with either of them and get their thoughts about past presidents, world events, inventions, fashion, cars, and more.
  • Each had long, successful marriages and were each reunited with their sweethearts.
  • One of the things said about Clara was that she enjoyed spending time with her family. I hope everyone realizes that, when it comes to their parents and grandparents, the world literally lights up when you walk through the door.  Make it happen as much as possible and keep that light burning as long as you can.
  • During their last days, how short their lives must have seemed and how fast they must have seemed to fly by.

The last thought has especially stayed with me. Think back over your own life. No matter how many years your thoughts will have to span, it seems to have all gone by so fast. Think of past silly worries (extra weight, dining room tables, “he said this instead of that,” your spouse not getting what you wanted for your birthday or Christmas, the scratch on your car…).  Today, do any of them really matter?  Don’t you regret ever spending time feeling sad, worried, or mad about the silly stuff?!

“Don’t be afraid your life will end; be afraid that it will never begin.” – Grace Hansen

Make no mistake about it, each of us will one day have our lives boiled down to a couple of paragraphs. I’m not trying to depress you and I DO NOT want you to think about death.  Au contraire! I want you to think about life!  I want you to think about living your life out loud, making each moment count double, laughing more, smiling longer, rolling with the punches, loving more, and spreading happiness and laughter everywhere you go.  I want you to get as much joy and adventure out of walking through your front yard as you would on an African safari.  When you look at the world, I want you to see a playground – not places you wish you could go, cars you wish you could drive, money you wish you had…. None of that creates happiness.

Happiness comes from within, not without. Over the years, my husband and I have lived everywhere from Madisonville, Kentucky to Wichita, Kansas and from Washington, Indiana to Pensacola Beach, Florida.  From Rantoul, Illinois to Webster City, Iowa!  Shew, I’m glad we’ve settled down here in Owensboro, Kentucky – it’s not easy always remembering a new phone number, zip code, or address!

When we were first married, Michael (husband) was in the Air Force.  With a baby on the way, we lived in a tiny little apartment near the Military Base in Illinois.  You could sit on the couch and see the entire apartment. Other servicemen and their families lived in the apartment complex and people were coming and going 24 hours a day. Saying it was noisy is an understatement. Tiny, noisy… and I loved it!

“We spend too much time living in the ‘what if’ and need to learn to live in the ‘what is.’” – Rev. Leroy Allison

When Michael and I, along with our three beautiful daughters and (at the time) one beautiful cat lived on Pensacola Beach, Florida – we had come a long way from that tiny noisy apartment. You practically needed a tour guide to take you from one end of the beach house to the other. Practically the entire back of the house was glass, so we could watch dolphins, seagulls, boats, waves, and pelicans as we ate at the dinner table, as I cooked in the kitchen, and as we watched tv in the living room. Noisy? Not unless you call the sounds of the ocean noisy.

Moral of the story (do written words count toward the 20,0000? If so, I annihilate that humble little goal): I swear to you, if you take the fact that I had my 4 girls then (the cat was a girl, too)  – I was no happier in the beach house than in my noisy little apartment.  I smiled and laughed (and talked, Lord, I talked) in each home.  It matters not WHERE life puts you, it matters how much life is IN you.

It’s possibly the strangest thing I’ve ever done, but I’ve kept the pictures of Clara and Clarence. In case I ever feel the weight of the world or have cause to feel down, I’m going to look at their pictures and let them remind me that life doesn’t last forever. Life is as beautiful as it is precious and like any fun ride, there will be ups as well as downs. But are we ever really ready to get off the ride?!

If the heroes of our story could come back to earth and be the age you are right now, what do you think they’d do? Would they worry and fret over things that don’t matter or would they know that “all this” doesn’t last forever? Imagine how they’d look… I mean really look… at a butterfly or tree.  Imagine how they’d close their eyes and listen to a songbird as though it were a concert.

Most of all, can you imagine the look on their faces when they were able to see their loved ones again?! They’d embrace them with their body, heart, and spirit.

We still have it all! Butterflies, birds, trees, family, friends… they’re things we often take for granted.  The next time you see a butterfly, really look at it. SEE the beauty, fragility, and splendor. It’s like life. So much beauty but  far too often, we look past it rather than at it.

It’s my deepest hope that Clara and Clarence will help you slow down and enjoy life more. Embrace it. I want you to live life with such passion that when you leave a room, people notice the void!

Maya Angelou said it best with one of my favorite quotes of all time,  “Life likes to be taken by the lapel and told, “I’m with you kid. Let’s go!” 

Don’t ever let me catch you without life’s lapel in your hands!

Filed Under: How to Be Happy, Positive Thought, Spiritual Tagged With: how to be happy, inspiration, inspirational story

Dave Thomas: The Inspiring Story Behind the Food Giant

March 24, 2010 by Joi 2 Comments

 

Just thinking about this post is giving me a killer craving for a bowl of Wendy’s chili. But, I’ll try to press on through the conversation my stomach’s having with my brain.

Dave Thomas was a fascinating man with a fascinating story. Unfortunately, he, like many people, had a difficult childhood. He was adopted and raised by Rex and Auleva Thomas, and never knew or met either of his birth parents. Sadly his mother, Auleva, died when Dave Thomas was only five. Rex Thomas moved the family often and re-married 3 times.

At the age of 12, Dave had to quit school and take his first job – working full time in a restaurant.

He worked his way up from a busboy in the family restaurant to a manager in four different failing Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurants.

Kentucky Fried Chicken’s colorful founder, Colonel Harland Sanders, became young Dave Thomas’s mentor, teaching him the ropes of the restaurant business – running and promoting the restaurant, and possibly a little about letting your personality shine through beautifully.

The hero of our story was a fast learner. And how! He turned the 4 failing Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurants around and was given a stake in those businesses. The profits? They made him a millionaire by the time he was 35 and provided him with the capital needed for opening his first Wendy’s in 1969.


If there are things you don’t like in the world you grew up in, make your own life different.
– Dave Thomas

There are a few things that we can take away from this story and apply to our own lives.

  • Dave Thomas fought his way through adversity and, most definitely, came out on top.  He didn’t whine and gripe about his circumstances and feel sorry for himself.  He simply made life as he knew it better (and tastier).
  • He was willing to be the pupil.  Many people miss out on life-changing lessons and advice simply because they have too much pride to be the pupil.  Everyone was someone’s pupil at one time.  Everyone has something to teach us.  When we get so full of ourselves and think that we are the BE ALL and the END ALL, two thing happen:  We stop learning and we stop growing.  We’re right, then, about one thing:  It is the END of it ALL.
  • Dave Thomas didn’t give up.  How many people (with 4 failing restaurants under their hat) would have stomped out of the restaurant business and never gone back?  Probably a lot.  But Dave Thomas persevered and fought his way to success.

If that’s not a self help lesson in itself, I’m not sure what is.

The only question that remains is, “Do I want iced tea or a Frosty with my chili?”

To learn more about Dave Thomas, you might want to read his wonderful book, Well Done! – The Common Guy’s Guide to Everyday Success. I don’t know about you, but I just LOVE success stories that involve super nice, happy, quality people.

~ Joi

Filed Under: Books I Love, Positive Thought Tagged With: inspirational quote, inspirational story, motivational quote

An Inspirational Christmas Story

December 16, 2009 by Joi 7 Comments

Confession time… and I’m not even Catholic. I was out with my oldest daughter, Emily, earlier. We ran into one of our favorite stores, Kohl’s (I’ve got nothing but love for Kohl’s. Nothing but love.) Like everyone else, Christmas is leaner this year in our family. Things we’d like to buy far outnumber the things we can actually buy. As I walked through the store, I kept seeing things I wanted to buy for this person, things I wanted to buy for that person, things “he’d love” and things that’d light my daughters’ faces up like Christmas trees.

I pride myself on being a very unpretentious, unassuming person. I am usually the last person I consider when shopping, whether it’s Christmas or not. Yet I saw a set of dishes with reindeer on them and my heart melted. I imagined serving cookies, cake, and all kinds of goodies to my loved ones on these beautiful dishes. There were candy dishes, mugs, plates, bowls – the whole nine yards. And I was certain, of course, that everything would taste even better on these unbelievably adorable dishes.

Logic? Who needs logic?

Anyway, I felt a little twinge of sadness – during a time when I’ve never been anything but like a puppy looking for a place to pee. Christmas (and all holidays, actually) act upon me like catnip. Yet, here I was in my Santa hat earrings, big fuzzy “I love myself some winter” type sweater – standing in the middle of a favorite store with my much beloved daughter, listening to carols – and my smile automatically shifted a degree or two. I got so totally annoyed that I taunted myself with a chorus of, “Poor, poor, poor me… Poor, poor, pitiful me…”

I rebounded by the time we hit the perfume counter, just in time to debate the important stuff in life: Things such as Sarah Jessica Parker’s Lovely perfume or Faith Hill’s new wonderful perfume (we decided it was a tie).

On the drive home, I actually kind of laughed at myself. I decided that it’s okay to want to buy more things for your loved ones than you’re possibly able to. I even decided that there’s nothing wrong with wanting beautiful dishes – or beautiful anything for that matter. By the time I got home, I was singing carols again (my cats tell me I have a beautiful voice). I sat down to read a little and, in one of those deliciously ironic and perfectly-timed moments in life, I read the following story. It isn’t a short read, but it is a remarkable one.

Enjoy!


Christmas Eve 1881: The Year Without a Rifle
It was Christmas Eve 1881. I was fifteen years old and feeling like the world had caved in on me because there just hadn’t been enough money to buy me the rifle that I’d wanted for Christmas.

We did the chores early that night for some reason. I just figured Pa wanted a little extra time so we could read in the Bible. After supper was over I took my boots off and stretched out in front of the fireplace and waited for Pa to get down the old Bible.

I was still feeling sorry for myself and, to be honest, I wasn’t in much of a mood to read Scriptures. But Pa didn’t get the Bible instead he bundled up again and went outside. I couldn’t figure it out because we had already done all the chores. I didn’t worry about it long though I was too busy wallowing in self-pity.

Soon Pa came back in. It was a cold clear night out and there was ice in his beard. “Come on, Matt,” he said. “Bundle up good, it’s cold out tonight.” I was really upset then. Not only wasn’t I getting the rifle for Christmas, now Pa was dragging me out in the cold, and for no earthly reason that I could see. We’d already done all the chores, and I couldn’t think of anything else that needed doing, especially not on a night like this. But I knew Pa was not very patient at one dragging one’s feet when he’d told them to do something, so I got up and put my boots back on and got my cap, coat, and mittens. Ma gave me a mysterious smile as I opened the door to leave the house. Something was up, but I didn’t know what..

Outside, I became even more dismayed. There in front of the house was the work team, already hitched to the big sled. Whatever it was we were going to do wasn’t going to be a short, quick, little job. I could tell. We never hitched up this sled unless we were going to haul a big load. Pa was already up on the seat, reins in hand. I reluctantly climbed up beside him. The cold was already biting at me. I wasn’t happy. When I was on, Pa pulled the sled around the house and stopped in front of the woodshed. He got off and I followed.

“I think we’ll put on the high sideboards,” he said. “Here, help me.” The high sideboards! It had been a bigger job than I wanted to do with just the low sideboards on, but whatever it was we were going to do would be a lot bigger with the high side boards on.

After we had exchanged the sideboards, Pa went into the woodshed and came out with an armload of wood – the wood I’d spent all summer hauling down from the mountain, and then all Fall sawing into blocks and splitting. What was he doing? Finally I said something. “Pa,” I asked, “what are you doing?” You been by the Widow Jensen’s lately?” he asked. The Widow Jensen lived about two miles down the road. Her husband had died a year or so before and left her with three children, the oldest being eight. Sure, I’d been by, but so what?

Yeah,” I said, “Why?”

“I rode by just today,” Pa said. “Little Jakey was out digging around in the woodpile trying to find a few chips. They’re out of wood, Matt.” That was all he said and then he turned and went back into the woodshed for another armload of wood. I followed him. We loaded the sled so high that I began to wonder if the horses would be able to pull it. Finally, Pa called a halt to our loading then we went to the smoke house and Pa took down a big ham and a side of bacon. He handed them to me and told me to put them in the sled and wait. When he returned he was carrying a sack of flour over his right shoulder and a smaller sack of something in his left hand.

“What’s in the little sack?” I asked. Shoes, they’re out of shoes. Little Jakey just had gunny sacks wrapped around his feet when he was out in the woodpile this morning. I got the children a little candy too. It just wouldn’t be Christmas without a little candy.”

We rode the two miles to Widow Jensen’s pretty much in silence. I tried to think through what Pa was doing. We didn’t have much by worldly standards. Of course, we did have a big woodpile, though most of what was left now was still in the form of logs that I would have to saw into blocks and split before we could use it. We also had meat and flour, so we could spare that, but I knew we didn’t have any money, so why was Pa buying them shoes and candy? Really, why was he doing any of this? Widow Jensen had closer neighbors than us; it shouldn’t have been our concern.

We came in from the blind side of the Jensen house and unloaded the wood as quietly as possible then we took the meat and flour and shoes to the door. We knocked. The door opened a crack and a timid voice said, “Who is it?” “Lucas Miles, Ma’am, and my son, Matt, could we come in for a bit?”

Widow Jensen opened the door and let us in. She had a blanket wrapped around her shoulders. The children were wrapped in another and were sitting in front of the fireplace by a very small fire that hardly gave off any heat at all. Widow Jensen fumbled with a match and finally lit the lamp.

“We brought you a few things, Ma’am,” Pa said and set down the sack of flour. I put the meat on the table. Then Pa handed her the sack that had the shoes in it. She opened it hesitantly and took the shoes out one pair at a time. There was a pair for her and one for each of the children – sturdy shoes, the best, shoes that would last. I watched her carefully. She bit her lower lip to keep it from trembling and then tears filled her eyes and started running down her cheeks. She looked up at Pa like she wanted to say something, but it wouldn’t come out.

“We brought a load of wood too, Ma’am,” Pa said. He turned to me and said, “Matt, go bring in enough to last awhile. Let’s get that fire up to size and heat this place up.” I wasn’t the same person when I went back out to bring in the wood. I had a big lump in my throat and as much as I hate to admit it, there were tears in my eyes too. In my mind I kept seeing those three kids huddled around the fireplace and their mother standing there with tears running down her cheeks with so much gratitude in her heart that she couldn’t speak.

My heart swelled within me and a joy that I’d never known before filled my soul. I had given at Christmas many times before, but never when it had made so much difference. I could see we were literally saving the lives of these people.

I soon had the fire blazing and everyone’s spirits soared. The kids started giggling when Pa handed them each a piece of candy and Widow Jensen looked on with a smile that probably hadn’t crossed her face for a long time. She finally turned to us. “God bless you,” she said. “I know the Lord has sent you. The children and I have been praying that he would send one of his angels to spare us.”

In spite of myself, the lump returned to my throat and the tears welled up in my eyes again. I’d never thought of Pa in those exact terms before, but after Widow Jensen mentioned it I could see that it was probably true. I was sure that a better man than Pa had never walked the earth. I started remembering all the times he had gone out of his way for Ma and me, and many others. The list seemed endless as I thought on it.

Pa insisted that everyone try on the shoes before we left. I was amazed when they all fit and I wondered how he had known what sizes to get. Then I guessed that if he was on an errand for the Lord that the Lord would make sure he got the right sizes.

Tears were running down Widow Jensen’s face again when we stood up to leave. Pa took each of the kids in his big arms and gave them a hug. They clung to him and didn’t want us to go. I could see that they missed their Pa and I was glad that I still had mine.

At the door Pa turned to Widow Jensen and said, “The Mrs. wanted me to invite you and the children over for Christmas dinner tomorrow. The turkey will be more than the three of us can eat, and a man can get cantankerous if he has to eat turkey for too many meals. We’ll be by to get you about eleven. It’ll be nice to have some little ones around again. Matt, here, hasn’t been little for quite a spell.” I was the youngest. My two brothers and two sisters had all married and had moved away.

Widow Jensen nodded and said, “Thank you, Brother Miles. I don’t have to say, May the Lord bless you, I know for certain that He will.”

Out on the sled I felt a warmth that came from deep within and I didn’t even notice the cold. When we had gone a ways, Pa turned to me and said, “Matt, I want you to know something. Your ma and me have been tucking a little money away here and there all year so we could buy that rifle for you, but we didn’t have quite enough. Then yesterday a man who owed me a little money from years back came by to make things square. Your ma and me were real excited, thinking that now we could get you that rifle, and I started into town this morning to do just that, but on the way I saw little Jakey out scratching in the woodpile with his feet wrapped in those gunny
sacks and I knew what I had to do. Son, I spent the money for shoes and a little candy for those children. I hope you understand.”

I understood, and my eyes became wet with tears again. I understood very well, and I was so glad Pa had done it. Now the rifle seemed very low on my list of priorities. Pa had given me a lot more. He had given me the look on Widow Jensen’s face and the radiant smiles of her three children. For the rest of my life, Whenever I saw any of the Jensens, or split a block of wood, I remembered, and remembering brought back that same joy I felt riding home beside Pa that night. Pa had given me much more than a rifle that night, he had given me the best Christmas of my life.

Filed Under: Positive Thought, Spiritual Tagged With: inspirational, inspirational story

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