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You are here: Home / Archives for joy

joy

How to Keep From “Losing” Yourself in the Ugliness Around Us

November 30, 2016 by Joi Leave a Comment

Life is Too Short to Be Anything But Happy!
Never Let Anyone Else Rob You Of Your Joy or Silence Your Happiness!
First things first. Before I go any further…. I just want to say that I do not have a “side” when it comes to the recent Presidential election. I did not vote this particular election and, what’s more, while watching the results on CNN that evening, I did not feel the overwhelming “investment” I’d felt in past elections.

My personal candidate was Marco Rubio, and I greatly respected Ben Carson as well. If Vice President Joe Biden had thrown his hat into the race, I would have had a candidate in each party.  I guess I should be glad I never had to face the problem of liking too many players in the game!

Don’t get me wrong, unlike most people, I don’t feel any animosity toward Hilary Clinton or President-Elect Donald Trump. I respect many of the things they’ve done in life, including their children.  Are they perfect? No more so than you or I.  I wish both of them a world of happiness and success in life. I have no time for or inclination toward hate, bitterness, or resentment – so if you’re waiting for me to spew any ugliness, you’ll be sorely disappointed. I leave the judging to God.

I only point these facts out because there is an unreal amount of hate swirling around these days and I don’t want anyone thinking I have a political agenda. I have no such thing.  What I have is a “happy agenda” and I’ve had a bad case of it for as long as I can remember.

I want people to be happy! Not just the “smile on their face” kind of happy, either. I want people to be so happy and so in love with life that they find it almost impossible to sit still.

The present emotional climate in the world is stormy with signs of getting worse before it gets better. And this from an eternal optimist! I take no joy in pointing it out, but if you expose yourself even slightly to social media or mainstream news, you already know this assessment is spot on.

Is this a tragic situation? No……  It is what it is. History is filled with tragedies – any fellow history buffs reading this are already nodding their heads in agreement.  The Boston Massacre, the Trail of Tears, Slavery, the Civil War, Concentration Camps, and on and on. Those were unspeakable, unimaginable, and gut-wrenching tragedies.

History is also filled with protests, marches, anger, and the other situations we are seeing on an almost daily basis. These periods come and they, eventually, go.

One of my mom’s favorite quotes was, “This, too, shall pass.”  Eventually, the anger, raging, fighting, and lashing out will die down. In the meantime, I want to encourage as many people as I possibly can not to “lose” yourself in the ugliness.  If that means removing yourself from it – as in getting off of social media or cutting back on the news – do it. Do whatever it takes.

I, personally, (as a web publisher) have to stick it out. Sometimes it feels like I’m standing out in the rain without an umbrella. My main social media activity is on Twitter and, within just the past two years, the rain has felt more like a raging storm…

  • I’ve seen close friends go at one another in ways I’d never have thought possible. All because they disagreed on a Presidential candidate!
  • I’ve seen wonderful, easy-going Christian men and women who once tweeted encouraging and uplifting messages become so filled with hate and anger that their tweets should come with warning labels.
  • Put simply, hate and anger are absolutely everywhere – celebrities, corporations, news outlets, social media platforms… they’re all getting into the mix.

As I said earlier, the emotional climate in the world isn’t what I’d call tragic. However, I’ll tell you what IS tragic – seeing people lose who they are and what they stand for. It’s tragic to see individuals become so consumed with hate and anger that they cannot even carry on civil conversations. People have lost the ability to civilly disagree with others. They’ve lost the ability to accept that others have opinions that may be different from their own.

People today have the mindset of, “I’m right and if you don’t agree with me, you are wrong.”  But they don’t just stop there… they will unload on anyone and everyone with name-calling, belittling, accusations, and venomous anger.

Simply for having a different opinions.

So where do we go from here?  In addition to praying (day and night!) for things to change, we have to be on guard. We have to make sure that we don’t allow others to steal our joy. We also  have to be on constant guard for something else – we have to make sure we don’t turn into them.  Think of a zombie movie for a minute. What’s the worst possible thing to happen in a zombie movie? For the hero or heroine to become a zombie – for them to become the vile, cruel, and.. let’s face it… downright ugly zombie.

If we give the bitter, angry crowd too much of our time, our hearts, and our thoughts… we will slowly become more and more like them. What a revolting thought!

Who in their right mind would want to spend so much time angry, bitter, resentful, and mean-spirited – all while being constantly on the prowl for something else to get upset about.

A few nights ago, I saw a young man (who, a year ago, was one of the calmest, happiest people on all of Twitter) – within a span of 30 minutes – verbally attack THREE different groups of people.  Not one, not two.. but three. He hurled accusations and made a bitter little spectacle of himself. I instantly thought back to who he used to be and felt kind of sick to my stomach. Slowly but surely, he lost himself.

I hope that hasn’t happened to you and, if you’re close to “the line,” I hope this will serve as a reminder.

Actionable Ideas 

  • Unfollow any social media accounts that spew negativity and ugliness. EVEN if they’re simply reporting news – some news accounts are inherently negative and, trust me, you don’t need that in your life.
  • If you see a news story coming on that you know will “stick with you,” turn the channel. You aren’t going to lose any life points by not knowing all the news stories.
  • Each day – throughout the day – ask yourself, “Who do I want to be?”  Frequently reminding yourself that you want to be happy, positive, encouraging, and giving will help you keep from slipping into anger and will keep you from throwing an adult temper tantrum… which is possibly the ugliest thing in the entire world. Yes, even uglier than zombies. Before speaking, “tweeting,” or even “retweeting” get into the habit of asking yourself, “Is this the person I want to be?”
  • Spend more time doing what brings you joy. Enjoy sports on tv, watch old movies, read Agatha Christie mysteries (or your own favorite author, of course!), watch the History Channel, cook, take up a new hobby, play with your pet, walk… whatever your bliss is, don’t just walk to it, run to it. When “times are rough,” like they currently are, you need these blissful moments more than ever.

Life is short and we aren’t going to get a second shot in this life. Please don’t spend it worked up about things that are beyond your control. It isn’t good for your family, your mind, your happiness, or your health. Don’t let anyone or anything steal your joy.

Ironically, after typing out well over 1,00 words, I think we can sum it all up in two: Choose happiness.

Keep smiling!

~ Joi (“Joy”)

Choose Happiness

Filed Under: General, How to Be Happy, Positive Thought, Self Awareness, Vintage Self Help Daily Tagged With: happiness, how to be happy, joy

I’m In Love With this Quote About Simple Things

August 22, 2016 by Joi Leave a Comment

Quote About Simple Things
This great Rudyard Kipling quote is actually from his beautiful poem, The Children’s Song (below). It serves as a reminder to not just notice and appreciate simple things, but to delight in them!

The whole concept reminds me of kittens, oddly enough. One of our outside cats (Barb!) recently had kittens and we’re absolutely loving watching every single thing they do. A kitten delights in everything around them.

  • A leaf? Fascinating!
  • The wind? Mesmerizing!
  • Rain? Never seen anything quite like it!
  • A moth? Coolest friend ever!

If we stop long enough to allow ourselves to delight in even the smallest things in life, our worries and cares will shrink as our joy and happiness grow.

I hope you’ll allow Rudyard Kipling’s words to sink in deep.  So beautiful!

~ Joi

The Children’s Song
by Rudyard Kipling

LAND of our Birth, we pledge to thee
Our love and toil in the years to be;
When we are grown and take our place
As men and women with our race.

Father in Heaven who lovest all,
Oh, help Thy children when they call;
That they may build from age to age
An undefiled heritage.

Teach us to bear the yoke in youth,
With steadfastness and careful truth;
That, in our time, Thy Grace may give
The Truth whereby the Nations live.

Teach us to rule ourselves alway,
Controlled and cleanly night and day;
That we may bring, if need arise,
No maimed or worthless sacrifice.

Teach us to look in all our ends
On Thee for judge, and not our friends;
That we, with Thee, may walk uncowed
By fear or favour of the crowd.

Teach us the Strength that cannot seek,
By deed or thought, to hurt the weak;
That, under Thee, we may possess
Man’s strength to comfort man’s distress.

Teach us Delight in simple things,
And Mirth that has no bitter springs;
Forgiveness free of evil done,
And Love to all men ‘neath the sun!

Land of our Birth, our faith, our pride,
For whose dear sake our fathers died;
Oh, Motherland, we pledge to thee
Head, heart and hand through the years to be!


Filed Under: Daily Quote, How to Be Happy, Positive Thought Tagged With: happiness, inspirational quote, inspirational quote graphic, joy, poetry

Quote About Joy: A Joyful Quote of the Day

August 19, 2016 by Joi Leave a Comment

Quote About Joy
I have a good mind to keep the picture of the beautiful girl (and her beautiful smile) above handy – so the next time I’m having an “off” day, I can just look at her. I have a feeling her megawatt smile could chase away any bad mood.

The quote, by Thich Nhat Hanh, is – in its simplicity – absolutely brilliant. Often, you can chase clouds in your psyche away simply by inviting a little sunshine into your presence with a big, beautiful smile.

Try it the next time you’re feeling a little off your game. It might just work wonders. If not, come back here and look at the doll above… I have a feeling she’ll do wonders!

~ Joi

Filed Under: Daily Quote Tagged With: joy, joy quote, quote about joy, quote graphic, quote of the day

Joy… Joi… Joy… Down in My Heart….

January 26, 2016 by Joi Leave a Comment

Joy
Yesterday I took one of those fun online quizzes that tell you something about yourself after a series of questions. This quiz was called, “What Your Parents Should Have Named You.”

After answering a series of questions, it told me that my parents should have named me… are you ready for it… Joy.

Well done, mom and dad!

My great-grandmother came up with the idea of spelling it with an i instead of a y, but Joy is my name… it’s just spelled with an i.

I wish I had a dollar for every time I’ve had to say those words in my life, “…spelled with an i.”

Joy is, and always has been, one of my absolute favorite words. It symbolizes happiness, peace, contentment, bliss, and a whole other list of words that (as Andy Griffith might say), “Ain’t nothin’ but good.”

Earlier this month, when I wrote a review of the NinkaStudio Theme of the Year Calendars, they graciously told me to pick out one of the words as a thank you. Naturally, I went with Joy.

Because it “Ain’t nothin’ but good.”

I’ll let you in on another reason the word and name mean the world to me.

Many years ago (never mind how many, nosy Parker), my mom was a pretty sick 22 year old who’d just found out she was a mother-to-be. Her thyroid was going haywire, and being so long ago, treatments for such things were nowhere near what they are today.

She was told that the baby (me) wouldn’t make it and that, for her health, it was best to terminate the pregnancy. When she vehemently refused, she was assured that her pregnancy would not be an easy one in any sense of the word.  She was also told that her baby would not be “normal” – to which she simply said, “But it’ll be MY baby.”

The pregnancy was especially bad, causing her a great deal of sickness and discomfort – I’d imagine even more so given the grim forecast. As for the baby, I think I turned out normal enough.

On the day I was born, when it came time to name this small pink human that caused so much trouble, my mom chose “Joy.”

Spelled with an i.

That doesn’t just mean the world to me on a personal level (my name was one of the sweetest gifts she ever gave me, right after life, itself). It also means the world to me because, at the end of a battle – one in which she… at such a young age… called the shots – she chose Joy for more than just a name. She chose Joy as the way she’d view the situation.

I’ve had many life lessons in my years. Heck, I’ve even created a few of them along the way. But this one has left a profound effect on my psyche. Maybe it’s why I, without even thinking about it, choose to see the humor in life. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I seldom ever take anything seriously and why I’m always looking for the next reason to smile.

I often sign my name online Joi (“Joy”) to make sure my mom’s chosen name is completely conveyed. Ever since I had a teacher once call me, “Joe-I,” I take no chances.

I believe in positive affirmations, inspirational quotes, and motivational books. I also believe in the power of words. I believe that if you take one very special word and make it your “Spirit Word,” it can be your very own safe haven.

If you’re looking for a word to remind you that there are always reasons to smile…. a word that, itself, if filled with sunshine…. I have a word for you: Joy.

Spelled with a y.

~ Joi

Filed Under: How to Be Happy, Positive Thought Tagged With: joy, Positive Thought

A Few Random Thoughts Plus One of the Best Quotes About Life… EVER

January 30, 2010 by Joi 3 Comments

Well, hello.  You remember me, right?  Oh, come on… you do so.   I’ve gotten behind this month on Self Help Daily as well as my other blogs – with writing, responding to comments, and just about everything else.  I served all of January on jury duty and had to sit got to sit on the jury for a major trial.

It was an utterly fascinating, gut wrenching, educational, and profoundly moving experience. I’ll never forget any of it for the rest of my life.  I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again – if you ever are chosen to serve on a jury, just do it.  Don’t do back flips trying to get out of it or throw the notice away, acting like you never saw it.

You’re cooler than that.

For one thing, you could get into a lot of trouble and who really wants to invite trouble into their home… especially the kind in uniform.  For another thing, it’s the least you can do to serve your community and to stand up for your neighbors.  Lastly, why should ANYONE run scared from something that others are facing head on?  The entire process is laid out for you plainly and like most things in life, your primary responsibility is to just care enough to show up.

If you’re lucky, really lucky, you’ll be rewarded with the honor of serving your community and getting a chance to meet life head-on out on the battlefield.  Invigorating.  Very invigorating.

As I pointed out in a recent post (Behold: The Land of the Lost... sorry, someone had too much coffee and not enough chocolate that day.  There’s a sweet balance and when I get out of rhythm, I’m thrown. Too much coffee and not enough chocolate makes me testy.  Too much chocolate and not enough coffee makes me punchy.), doing things such as serving on a jury or even just reporting for jury duty is considered out of the ordinary and most people hate “out of the ordinary.”  Yet, this  is where TRUE growth happens.  Out of the ordinary is where you learn new things.  As I said in the testy post,  Each experience helps you to develop new layers and fill up fresh wells of life experiences to draw from.

I didn’t start out to lecture you on jury duty – honestly. I just wanted to take the opportunity to let you know where I’ve been and why updates have been unusually sparse.   I also wanted to say that I’m nearly caught up on responding to comments and e-mail.

I have also gotten behind… make that VERY BEHIND on books I’ve been wanting to review.  I’ve read some amazing books lately and can’t wait to share them with you.  Book reviews take a little longer with me simply because I don’t just say, “I read this book. I liked this book.  You should read this book.”  My approach is this:  If the book was worth my time and I believe will be worth your time, I incorporate the book into an article that could stand on it’s own.  That is, I try very hard to tell you about the book and review the book without making you feel like you’re in the midst of a book review.

The book that I’ll be focusing on in the next post is called Better Because of You by Ginny Hutchinson and Cathy Haffner.   I read it this month during my jury duty – on breaks when no one was around to talk to. When others were near, I talked with them.  I love books, but I’d never ever choose one over a human.   Anyway, this is a fantastic little book and I’ll tell you all about it either later today or tomorrow.

I want to end this post with a quote from this particular book.  I read it during a long day of jury duty.  A day that found me missing my family, my cats, my house shoes, and my kitchen  – and hoping they all remembered who I was.    I was on schedule with my coffee/chocolate balance, so I wasn’t punchy or testy.  However, I still got a lot out of this quote and loved how it showed up at just the right time.  I’ve written this passage down and I think you’ll want to do the same.  Heck, I’d recommend starting each and every day by reading the words from front to back.

Best Quote About Life

This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of Nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.

I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community, and as long as I live it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can.

I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work, the more I live.  I rejoice in life for its own sake.  Life is not brief candle to me; it is a sort of splendid torch which I have got a hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.  – George Bernard Shaw

Splendid, Mr. Shaw, splendid.

Filed Under: Make a Difference, Positive Thought, Self Help, Self Help Daily Tagged With: George Bernard Shaw Quote, joy, life, quote about life

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