I was watching a local news telecast a few nights ago, before watching a dvd with Mr. Right (always was, always has been, always will be). The host interviewed a man who was a therapist. Apparently he specializes in relationships. Given the fact that I write about relationships a lot, I turned the volume up a little and listened to the interview.
The host asked him what the number one problem he saw with relationships today was. I guess I may ere on the side of naivety, but before he answered I expected something relatively simple like “He/She doesn’t listen to me..” or “We don’t have enough time together…”
I absolutely was not prepared for his answer, “Infidelity. By a long shot. Infidelity.”
Granted, before a couple seeks a therapist, the final straw had to have dropped and this is one of the heaviest, ugliest straws imaginable.
He went on to talk about how social media outlets, such as Facebook and Twitter, have added to the problem. I can see that. In fact, I see it almost every day. Some people “flirt” and act like perfect fools on these websites. Bottom line, if you’re in a relationship, you should respect the other person enough to speak to and about others EXACTLY as you would if they were sitting right beside you.
Unfortunately, there aren’t nearly enough people with this much class, this much character, or this much respect and love for the person they’re in a relationship with.
How many times do men and women hide that they’re even in a relationship? After all, they’ll be able to “score” far more flirtatious comments if everyone thinks they’re single.
How desperate can some people be?
How many times do people “follow” or “friend” people they know their spouse or significant other would disapprove of? They’d rather go through great pains to “hide” posts and quickly close or minimize windows than to just be respectful of their wishes. Basically, they’re saying that this person’s feelings aren’t worth as much to them as the attention they get from the other person or persons.
How many people (this one’s a big, fat personal peeve) run down and belittle their significant other (when they admit they exist, that is!) online? Could that be any more pathetic, immature, and uncool?!?! Their followers or friends don’t know the whole story, so they sing out their sympathy and join in the bashing. Social media should never, ever, ever be used to “get at” people. Not strangers, not friends, not family. It’s kind of like taking a picture of the dirty laundry in your laundry basket and posting it online. Why not just do the dang laundry?!?! If you have a problem… if a boyfriend, wife, friend, sister, etc has trampled upon your feelings – go to them and say, “You have trampled upon my feelings. Let’s resolve this.” Don’t fly off to your computer or phone.
How many women and men take inappropriate pictures of themselves and post online? Pictures that their spouse or significant other would LOVE for them to NOT post? Again, it hearkens back to an absolute desperation for attention. Maybe if these self paparazzi stalkers found other ways to feel good about themselves, they wouldn’t constantly need the reactions of others. Maybe if they worked on their relationship more, they’d be fulfilled and happy enough to post pictures of themselves as a couple! Oh, just a thought.
If you are in a relationship, do yourself, the one you love, and your relationship a HUGE favor: Examine how you behave on social sites. Examine your motives. Could the one that you supposedly adore sit beside you and SEE for herself/himself who you speak with regularly and the things you say?
If not, you have a problem. Make that, If not, you ARE the problem.
In my opinion, any sort of deception is cheating. I don’t hate many things in this world, but cheating and lying are two that I harbor a strong unChristian hatred for. Cheaters make me see red and and cause me to long for their day or reckoning! It always comes too, you know; and, generally speaking, the cost and damage are in no way worth the trouble.
Relationships are kind of funny in that we always see the other person’s shortcomings while overlooking our own. It takes two individuals to make a strong relationship but it takes just one of them to destroy it. If one person has one foot in the relationship and one foot out of the relationship, the relationship is doomed. It’s just a matter of time.
It takes commitment and honesty to make a relationship work – and not just from one side. It takes BOTH.
If you’re skating on thin ice, think about what (and who) you stand to lose. Think about their trust, their love, their presence in your life. Are you really willing to throw all of that away? Think about the expression on their face as their heart is breaking. Is that something you can live with? Are they someone you can live without?
Remember the startling statistic we read in the last post, 50 percent of marriages in America end in divorce. So many of these can have been prevented if
When it comes to relationships and cheating, there are no shades of gray. There’s no such thing as harmless flirting and no such thing as forgivable deception. You’re either honest or you’re not. Only you know for sure…
For now.
