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How to Turn Your Life Around and Defeat Your Personal “Demons”

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I was reading the Parade section of the Sunday Paper this morning and found an interview with Christian Slater especially interesting.

As the writer points out, Christian Slater really resembles Jack Nicholson. It’s a wonder they haven’t been cast in father/son roles by now. If a movie is ever made about Jack Nicholson, they won’t have to look far for the lead actor.

As a movie fanatic, it’s only natural that this little tidbit jumped out at me. But the part of the article where Christian Slater talks about the moment he realized he needed to turn his life around…. that’s the part that grabbed me by the shoulder and said, “Wow, this is good stuff!”

You may remember that he was in trouble at one time for drinking and drugs.  He was even arrested – as difficult as that is to imagine. He has been sober for years now, but doesn’t expect, or want, to be congratulated for it. In his words, “It’s like expecting a reward for running out of a burning building.”

Now, that’s an attitude worth applauding, loving, and recognizing.  I think it’s an attitude that’ll also keep him (and anyone in similar-fitting shoes) on the right track.

As a advocate of Self Help –  I also loved the following part of the interview. Christian’s words are in bold, the non-bold words are those of the author of the article, James Kaplan:

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…Cleaning up his act became a long, hard process.

“I sat down and asked myself, ‘What are the things that haunt me or make me feel insecure, and what can I do about them? Instead of spending the rest of my life going, ‘I am just the victim of this stuff,’ what can I do to tackle it and get over it?'”

So he made a to-do list. Or rather a to-change list.

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Now THAT’S a list! Come on, you know me – I’m all about lists. By this point of the article, I was so turned on I couldn’t sit still. Within one article, I had Hollywood, Self Help, AND the voyeuristic-ally charged account of someone making a list.

If the article had included the men drinking coffee (Slater drank water. Eh.), eating chocolate (none mentioned), and plans for saving all the animals in the world, I’d have probably passed out from excitement.

Seriously, this is absolute perfection. You have a young man who knows he needs to change his approach to life. So, where does he start. With himself. As Cicero said, “Nobody can give you wiser advice than yourself.” I love how Christian Slater worded it: “‘What are the things that haunt me…”

“Haunting” is exactly what personal demons do and we all have them in our lives – whether they’re insecurities, losses, childhood issues, resentments, mistakes, guilt… Sadly, the list goes on.

They find you, wherever you happen to be and interrupt whatever it is you happen to be doing. Like a ghost in a campy horror film – they seem intent on destroying your happiness and, ultimately, your world.

If you let them.

The best part of the article is when Christian Slater turns and faces the “ghosts” instead of running from them. They don’t like to be faced, you know. Confrontation’s not what they’re about – they just like to haunt. He turned his life around and now has a very happy family life (with two beautiful children) as well as a successful career.  I hope he has much continued success – he’s worked hard for it.

To read the interview online, click HERE.

 

 

 

How Relaxing Music Can Help Your Health as Much as Your Mood

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Quote About Tranquility
I don’t have to tell you the benefits of relaxation – you’re too smart and they’re too obvious. If you’re like most people, though, you do need a reminder every now and again.

I just read on Everyday Health that listening to Mozart and/or Relaxation CDs at least 3 times a week could lower your blood pressure.

“In a study of 41 seniors living in retirement communities, researchers found that regularly listening to relaxation tapes reduced average systolic (the top number) blood pressure readings by 9 mm/Hg, while those who regularly listened to Mozart saw a 7 mm/Hg reduction in their blood pressure.” – HealthDay News, Everyday Health.com

When my daughter Brittany was 4 years old she was sick – and when Brittany’s sick, she’s completely sick. My dad, the typical doting grandfather came to visit and lovingly sat beside her on the couch. He asked, “How do you feel, baby doll?,” and she said, “A little bit good but a whole, whole bunch bad.”

That’s how it feels when we’re stressed out and anxious: A little bit good but a whole, whole bunch bad.

Relaxation feels like a tonic to a stressed out system. Not only does it make us feel better, relaxation strengthens our immune system, increases creativity, and stimulates our healing abilities. Relationship-wise, a relaxed person is much more pleasant to be around than a stressed out bundle of nerves.

Relaxation CDs and Classical Music are a couple of sure bets when it comes to unwinding. Everyone has his or her own favorite ways to unwind, but music is a universal favorite. Another one of my favorite ways is to grab my nearest cat and (depending upon the one grabbed) take part in one of the following escapes: Lie in the floor playing with her cat toys (Alexa), Rub and talk to her (Prissy, who turned 20 this month and lost her sight this year), sit and hold him like a baby (Bo), or listen to him sing while scratching his head (Svenn, and he really does sing well).

A word of caution about listening to relaxation or classical music cds: Be sure that you’re in a position where sleep would be a welcomed result and not a hazardous one. I was listening to a Relaxation tape once that featured sounds of a thunderstorm. Zzzzzzz. Fortunately I was at my computer desk and not in my car.

Finally, as Everyday Health points out, listening to relaxation cds and classical music is in NO WAY a replacement for blood pressure medications. It’s simply another way to help lower blood pressure.

And another avenue to feeling a whole, whole bunch good.

~ Joi

A Gem from the October 2008 Issue of Success Magazine

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The October 2008 issue of Success Magazine has a mini-article titled “Healthy, Wealthy, & Wise – Your Checklist.” The reader is given 6 small but powerful goals that’ll lead him or her down a path to better health, more wealth, and increased wisdom.

Sign me up for all three.

The first tip is “Add a small fitness goal to your routine each week.” The author suggests drinking one extra glass of water each day, running for one more mile a week, or taking the stairs instead of the elevator. I think I can swing the extra glass of water each day. But run? Only if I’m giving chase or being chased. As for the stairs, I’m all over that one. I have no great love for elevators, so stairs are fine by me.

My favorite tip of the six is this one: “Don’t use people as mirrors.” The reader is told to have a strong sense of who he/she is without letting other people influence how they feel. This can be a hard one, can’t it?

Some of us are more inclined than others to care too much about what other people think of us. A lot of times, our own opinion of ourselves is heightened or lessened by someone else’s words. We can be feeling pretty pleased with ourselves or with a particular accomplishment until someone criticizes us. Then we basically bottom out.

As the article points out, we should try very hard to keep a healthy sense of self, without allowing others to affect it. After all, there are some people who can only make themselves feel bigger by making others feel smaller. After years of practice, they’ve perfected the art.

The advice is positively golden – and the more I think about it, the more golden it is.

All 6 of the tips are golden. I’ve given away two of them, if you want the other 4, grab the issue! The issue’s packed with great stuff – including the last page: “Turning Knowledge into Power, 10 Actions You Can Take Right Now.”

You can find a lot more wonderful tips, hacks, and self improvement advice on Success Magazine‘s website.

~ Joi

Three Choices Along Life’s Road That Determine the Whole Trip

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” I’m not sure what the future holds but I do know that I’m going to be positive and not wake up feeling desperate. As my dad said ‘Nic, it is what it is, it’s not what it should have been, not what it could have been, it is what it is.’ “ – Nicole Kidman, after her split with Tom Cruise

First of all, fellas, sorry there are no pictures of Nicole Kidman here. You don’t really want to see a beautiful redhead anyway, do you??

Never mind.

Back to the quote at the top of the page – I love this quote!  I loved it the first time I read it, years ago when Nicole Kidman was putting her life back together after a devastating break up with Tom Cruise;  and I love it just as much today when life finds the gorgeous actress blissfully in love and starting a family with country music star and fellow Aussie Keith Urban.

I guess there’s a lot to be said for keeping your head up and your eyes on the road ahead.  You never know what (or who) is headed your way.

When bad things… things that are out of our control… happen to us we have choices to make.  The choices we make will determine just how “bad” the “bad” will be AND just how much of our future it will touch.

These choices are pretty clear.  We can either…

….get bitter or get better.

…..move forward or fall back.

…..learn from it or lean on it.

If you think of life as a long and winding road, disappointments and disasters can be thought of as anything that interferes with the ebb and flow of your trip.  Just as a road trip can be affected by rain, road work, vehicular malfunctions, other drivers, and detours – life has plenty of bumps as well.  Things that make you say, “This isn’t how I planned it!!”

Of course, in both instances, sometimes you simply lose your way.  Times when you have to regroup, remind yourself where you want to go and then drive off into the sunset again – vowing to hit your mark this time!

The point is, there will be problems ahead and they’re not all bad.  If nothing else, they keep things interesting and keep us on our toes.  They can even, if we handle them properly,  make us better – but if we allow ourselves to be overcome by them, they’ll make us bitter and angry, neither of which is very attractive.  Sometimes, in the words of Nicole Kidman’s dad, we have to realize, “It is what it is, it’s not what it should have been, not what it could have been, it is what it is.”

Stewing over situations doesn’t change them…it only changes us, and never for the better.  Let it go and move on.  Go forward, don’t stand still, and never, ever try to go back.

Not only should we choose better over bitter and forward over backward, we should pay extra attention to how we “play” the last choice as well.  We have to make certain that we LEARN from disappointments rather than LEAN on them.  They aren’t crutches or excuses – they’re lessons.  They aren’t tickets excusing us from doing our best, they’re trumpets encouraging us to stand up and give our absolute best.

~ Joi

For more inspirational quotes, click the link!  Sorry, there are no other pictures of Nicole Kidman there either.

Financial (and Self Improvement) Advice from Jean Chatzky

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The Difference by Jean Chatzky
Occasionally I’ll write about something (or someone) on one of my blogs that I’m so jazzed up about that I’ll syndicate the post on another one of the blogs. If something’s extra good, I’ll put it in re-runs to the tune of Andy Griffith or Gilligan’s Island.

I posted earlier this morning on Office Freaks about an exciting and brilliant author , Jean Chatzky.

She has appeared on talk shows from Oprah to Regis, and has written for Time, USA Weekend Magazine, Forbes, New York Magazine, Working Woman, and countless other publications.  She has also written several amazing bestsellers.  The lady knows her stuff, and we’d all do well to take notes.  Below is a little sampling of her knowledge….

By actually doing something over and over again, like reducing your spending in an effort to save, you’ll gain a feeling of accomplishment — even power. That’s why it’s so important to do just what will help you conquer what’s getting you down when you find yourself feeling frustrated and overwhelmed by something. When you’re feeling fat, for instance, you should hit the StairMaster instead of the refrigerator. And when you’re feeling poor, you should sit down with a pad of paper and figure out just how much your new habits are saving you. Saving two dollars a day by walking to work rather than taking the bus may not sound like much, but it adds up to more than $500 a year. Once you write it down, focus on how the accomplishment makes you feel. Concentrating on the change will make you feel energized. Think of it as insurance for how you’ll behave tomorrow.

If you take your eager-to-learn self to her website, Jean Chatzky.com, you can see more AND can subscribe to her newsletter.

More Jean Chatzky books on Amazon.