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3 Simple Ways to Gain Get a Healthier Perspective on Life

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Our Lives Move in the Direction of Our Strongest Thought

What are YOUR Strongest Thoughts??

Stress and anxiety are realities of life and, quite frankly they always have been! I think we tend to think of them as new discoveries when, if we’re being honest, they’ve been around as long as humans have.

One of the worst things about feeling stressed and anxious is the fact that the feeling robs you of the beauty of the here and now. But, it goes even beyond this. Feeling stressed and anxious causes you to feel so overwhelmed that you lose, to a certain degree, any interest in tomorrow. It’s as though the overly-taxed mind says, “If today feels this bad, I sure hate to see what tomorrow feels like!”

This is why it is so vitally important to be proactive about dealing with stress. One of the first steps you can take is to decide… “Today is the day!” I will (not may) bring perspective back to my life and into my world. I will (not may) focus more on the people and things that truly matter in my life. My well-being and their well-being are too important to lose sight of!”

When you make up your mind to gain more perspective in your life and bring more focus into your own personal world, even the sun will look a little brighter!

Here are a few questions to ask yourself as you bring everything into perspective:

What are My Strongest Thoughts?

See the polar bear at the top of the page? He carries with him a wonderful quote by Craig Groeschel: Our lives move in the direction of our strongest thoughts.

This is so incredibly true – it sort of fleshes out another great quote – You are what you think you are. Many people believe that, to a very real extent, we create our own destinies within our minds. While there are millions of other contributing factors, our tomorrows are absolutely touched by the things we think about and focus on today.

What thoughts do you return to again and again? If you’re quiet for 5 minutes, in which direction do your thoughts run? Before falling asleep at night, what (generally speaking) are your last thoughts? These are usually your strongest thoughts because you give them strength each time you entertain them.

If these litlte Hercules thoughts are negative or worrisome, they’re feeding negativity in your life and causing small problems to loom large. When you’re able to recognize these toxic thoughts for what they are, you can replace them with productive, positive thoughts. Try focusing on things you are thankful for, happy memories, things you like about yourself, or even things you’re planning to do that give you happiness, purpose, and peace of mind.

Are You Taking Care of Your Health?

When we’re feeling stressed or anxious, we often tend to lean toward unhealthy lifestyles and meals. Ask yourself if you’re making your health a priority. Are you eating too much junk food? Do you get fresh air daily? Do you enjoy nature and rekindle the wonders of feeling sunshine on your skin?

Are you eating plenty of vegetables, fruits, and proteins?

How about your vitamin levels? When is the last time you had a complete checkup from your doctor? Very often, when our vitamins and minerals are off (even just a little off!), it affects every single corner of our life. If you haven’t had bloodwork done in over a year, please consider seeing your doctor. Your stress and anxiety may be attributed more to your body than to your circumstances.

We handle things better when we are better ABLE to handle them.

A nutritious diet is also vital to good health and to feeling like yourself. You need the nutrients that come from eating a healthy diet to fuel your brain and body to do great things.

Also, it’s easy to overlook but be sure you’re getting enough water too. Being even a little dehydrated can make you feel miserable physically and mentally.

Fresh air, daily activity, a balanced and healthy diet, and (when needed) daily supplements can help you more than you could ever realize.

Are You Staying in Contact with Loved Ones?

Stress and anxiety are relationship busters. Not because others avoid the person suffering from them but because, more times than not, the one feeling stressed avoids others. There is a tendency to hide away from others when one feels stressed out. Many people offer up reasons and they may or may not be spot on… but, personally, I think people tend to avoid others when they feel down simply because they feel like they can’t handle “anything else.”

When you feel like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders, you don’t want to put on a happy face or try to make your voice sound like you’re on top of the world when you feel like it’s on top of you.

While it’s easier to hide when you feel this way, it is of the utmost importance NOT to. You need your family and friends more than you may realize. Let them know how you feel – that you’re having a “bad day” (or week or month!). They want to help and, I’ll let you in on a secret, they may be feeling the same way! If that’s the case, you can help them by showing that it’s okay to admit when you need a lift.

Is Your Stress Controlling Your Life or Are You Controlling It?

This last question may seem overly simple but it is so vital. In fact, I want you to ask yourself these three questions routinely for a while until you’re able to HONESTLY give the answers you know you need to be able to give.

Please be proactive and take control of your stress and anxiety. Life is a big, beautiful place and I do not want you to miss a single moment. You deserve happiness and peace of mind and you deserve a healthy perspective on life. I hope and pray you will begin right this very minute creating everything in your world that you deserve. Don’t let stress or anxiety rob you of any more happiness and peace.


Helping Others: It’s Always the Right Time to Reach Out…

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It’s Always the Right Time to Reach Out and Help Others

While many things are returning to normal in many parts of the world, none of us are completely back to normal. In fact, for a lot of people, normal may look, sound, smell, and certainly feel different for quite a while.

Maybe forever.

Before you let that make you frown, realize that not all change is bad. In fact, some change can be a very good, positive thing.

What if we all come out of this pandemic more willing to reach out and help others than we have ever been willing before? What if the consideration and concern for our neighbors (very near and very far) that we’ve experienced and displayed lasts… well… forever?

I for one certainly hope so!

I have a great deal of correspondence with others through my e-mail and social media. I have noticed over the past year more of us are apt to sign off with things such as…

  • Stay Safe!
  • Be Well!
  • Best Wishes to You and Your Family!
  • Etc..

I also notice many greetings begin with..

  • I hope you’re well…
  • I hope you’re safe…
  • I hope you and your loved ones are well…

It didn’t used to be like this.

When I’m in stores and restaurants (still riding an emotional high that my favorite Mexican restaurant weathered this storm and is open for business!), I see people smiling at one another these days – the warm smiles aren’t just reserved for babies anymore! People seem to genuinely care for others post-pandemic than they did pre-pandemic and that’s something I very, very, VERY much sticks around.

Many people are struggling today – more, perhaps, than ever before. The pandemic introduced a lot of unpleasantness into our lives. Some unpleasantness we could SEE – lockdowns, less family visits, less income, arguments with family members who view the virus differently than we do, and a total upheaval in our daily lives. Other unpleasantnesses couldn’t be seen, but my goodness are they ever felt.

  • the anxiety that comes with coming face to face with your own vulnerability
  • stress from seeing, daily, others sick and suffering
  • being more aware of death than ever before… I mean, we were given daily numbers!
  • arguments within families due to more stress
  • broken relationships because of other’s views on the virus, masks, and vaccines

Make no mistake about it, this pandemic left its vile fingerprints on all of our lives.

It’s worth remembering that you don’t have to always be strong. You can cry when you darn well feel like crying! It’s okay to feel scared and I’m giving you permission to feel angry about the whole thing. Feel the emotions you want to feel and make no attempt to tell others how to deal with their feelings. We all cope differently and we all heal differently.

Finally, I’d love to encourage everyone to reach out and help others in any way possible. If you know someone who seems to have the weight of the world on their shoulders, either ask them what you can do to make the load lighter or (perhaps even better) step up and do something for them that helps lighten their load.

Ideas include mowing their lawn, giving them a gift card to their favorite restaurant (this way you help them and the restaurant), offering to watch their child/children while they treat themselves to a day out. Simply showing up to their house with a Starbucks drink for you and a Starbucks drink for them and sitting to talk with them for an hour may be just the tonic they (and you!) need.

Many are dealing with anxiety, stress, depression, and other emotional and mental strains right now. If you can be a blessing to someone, please don’t hesitate to do so. You may give them exactly what they needed to hang in there and keep fighting.

As a bonus, helping others makes you feel so good!

Stay strong, stay well, and stay safe. I truly care about each and every one of you. ~ Joi (“Joy”)

How to Relax MORE and Stress LESS

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Alexa Chilling

Alexa Relaxes On a Whole Other Level

Relaxation is a beautiful, beautiful thing. Problem is, it can be fleeting. It seems that just when we’re basking in its comforting warmth,  life throws us a curve ball and relaxation is the furthest thing from our minds.  In baseball, the curve ball is one that often catches the batter off guard and he/she usually can’t do a thing with it.

Stressful events are a lot like that – they catch us off guard and we usually don’t know quite what to do with it. Often, like an over-matched batter, we stand there kind of wondering, “What just happened?”

It’s while we’re “standing there” that we have a decision to make. We can adjust and adapt (before the next pitch) or we can be completely overcome and, in effect, take our slow and humbling walk back to the dugout.

If we make a habit of adjusting and adapting, we’ll find ourselves “handling stress” as opposed to being at its mercy.

Like poison ivy, if stress jumps on us, its nastiness just seems to spread.

If we don’t handle stress, it will handle us.

Adjust and Adapt

As I’ve mentioned on the self help blog before, a few years ago, my oldest daughter (Emily) and I had to stop eating gluten and wheat for health reasons. Do you have any idea how many foods contain gluten or wheat? I lost track of the times Emily and I said, “It’s everywhere!”

CURVE BALL.

To have your life greatly changed by something like this is stressful. Over the years, I’ve read many accounts of people in our boat who cried for days and even became borderline depressed.  We didn’t see the need or appeal for either of these reactions – they kind of struck us as extreme.

What we did see the need for was to adjust and adapt.

Back to baseball for a minute (I’m a baseball fanatic, so you can always just assume I’ll be going back at some point) – the best batters are the ones who step up to the plate and are able to adjust and adapt to the game and to the situation.

  • The umpire behind the plate is consistently calling outside pitches strikes – a great batter stops letting them go by.
  • The tying run is at first or second base, a great batter tries to hit behind the runner and move him along.
  • The pitcher has a nasty fast ball and you can tell by the gleam in his eye that he’s about to unleash it – a great batter holds on tight and swings so hard he comes out of his or her shoes!

Adjust to the situation and adapt to the game as it is – not as you wish it was, not as you know it should be. A batter can KNOW the pitches being called strikes in the game are balls but knowing is not going to help him in the least. Arguing with the man behind the plate isn’t exactly going to win him to your side and I’ve yet to see one take the advice of an angry player or manager.

It’s the same with life. We can KNOW that it isn’t fair for a certain situation to crop up, but what are we going to do? Stand there and argue with life… or, worse yet, God? Whether people realize it or not, when they cry for days, have angry outbursts, or get borderline depressed, that’s exactly what they’re doing – they’re trying to argue with life and “win the calls.”

Having to entirely change the way I eat and cook turned my world upside down. For one thing, I am an avid cook, and have been since I was 19. It is a huge part of my identity.

I cook. I bake. I am.

I had always been especially known for my buttermilk biscuits, cakes and pies, homemade sourdough bread, spinach manicotti, and fried cornbread. Let’s be honest, sometimes life seems cruel with its irony.

Not only is cooking a HUGE part of my life, I have a food blog! Suddenly it became a much-altered food blog – just as I became a much-altered cook.

UGLY CURVE BALL.

As if that wasn’t enough, I also do restaurant reviews on Genuine Kentucky. These restaurant reviews are one of the funnest parts of my online web publishing. Going to new restaurants (or old favorites) and trying different food to photograph and write about always made me feel like a kid on Christmas morning! Suddenly I had to accept the fact that the number of restaurants I could now visit was greatly limited as was the food I could enjoy.

I’m still kind of surprised that I didn’t cry for days. Fortunately, I learned long ago that tears don’t help a single thing – they just make your cheeks wet and your eyes red. What does help is… you guessed it…  adjusting and adapting.

Long story short – I still love doing restaurant reviews (even though they’ve been limited for obvious reasons) and I love cooking even more than I did before. I guess the part of me that loves a challenge stepped up to the plate and begged for the fast ball.

Sometimes I’m silly like that.

Stress isn’t just bad for our emotional health, it’s horrible for our physical health. What’s more, it’s a nightmare for our relationships. I could go on for three days about how stress ruins your life, but I think you are already well aware of this, so let’s just move on to what we can do about it.

Relaxation 101: Take a Personal Inventory

To find out if stress has the upper hand in your world, ask yourself the following question:

Do little things seem to set me off?

Things like unfortunate stop lights, people who pull out in front of you, a barking dog, a crying baby, a restaurant messing up your order, your son’s girlfriend’s piercings, your son’s piercings, and so on are simply NOT worth the energy most people spend on them.

I’m sure you’ve seen people in restaurants pitching embarrassing tantrums because their order isn’t right. Not worth it.

When an individual falls off the handle and comes completely unglued, his/her central nervous system assumes something horribly traumatic has happened in life and reacts accordingly.  If they make a habit of this throughout the week, they’re grossly mistreating their bodies.

It is just so not worth it!

A Few Relaxation Tips and Suggestions:

  1. It may sound ridiculous, but just realizing that you need to relax will help you more than anything. If you keep pinning blame on everyone else and, like an argumentative baseball player, are only interested in “being right,” you have a long road ahead of you.  But if you can honestly say, “I need to relax more.” – You’re on your way. The thing is, you need to remind yourself to relax every single day. Some days, it may take a couple dozen reminders. Your health and your happiness depend upon you finding a way to adapt to the situation and adjust your reactions. Angry because the line at the grocery store is taking too long, ask yourself, “What’s my hurry? Where do I have to be?” You’ll probably discover you aren’t under any time restraints.  Adjust to the situation, grab your iPhone and check your messages, Twitter, e-mail, or Pinterest. Or grab a magazine and read a little – if you grab the right one you might see what a Bigfoot Alien baby looks like. That’s always entertaining.
  2. Put something that makes you smile in a prominent place – a sticker, stuffed animal, picture of a loved one, etc. Each time you look at it, let it serve as a reminder to slow down and enjoy the moment. I have a little stuffed bison on my desk that makes me smile whenever I look at him.  A while back we had a problem with hackers on several of our sites and I got to the point I seldom took my eyes off of him. I’m just thankful he didn’t get a restraining order.
  3. Stop DEMANDING so much from life and just ENJOY it. It doesn’t take everything in the world to be happy – it just takes being happy and content with your own little world and what and who is in it. A lot of people get so caught up in trying to be life’s director that they forget that they, like the rest of us, are simply part of the cast. Why anyone would want to take on the responsibility of telling restaurants, stores, electric companies, Twitter followers, and everyone in between how to live their life (to better suit THEM) is beyond me. Live your life like the beautiful gift that it is. Don’t find yourself one day at 99 years old wondering why you spend so much time complaining about the little things. Be the 99 year old that’s still smiling because life is and always has been such a hoot!
  4. Take about a dozen really deep breaths when you’re feeling stressed. I’m not sure why this helps to signal relaxation to our bodies, but it does. Unfortunately, most of us take rapid, shallow breaths. This type of breathing makes the rest of the body think we’re in some sort of battle. Slowing our breathing down signals to it that all’s well.  A funny thing about breathing, sometimes we’re actually holding our breath and don’t realize it.  Become more aware of your breathing, and take it to new depths.
  5. If you’re going through a stressful time, or if you feel overwhelmed at work, drink more water. This is something else we don’t do enough of. Our bodies actually require more water than we usually drink, and when we shortchange it, we suffer: Physically, emotionally, and mentally. Nutritionists say that we need more water, especially when stressed. It actually helps, so it’s a very easy and painful proactive thing we can do.
  6. Make sure you’re getting enough rest.  Not just sleep (although it’s glorious and healing) – but also good old-fashioned “down time.” Whether your idea of unwinding is watching tv, reading, or cruising the internet, have at it. Be sure to allow yourself plenty of time to unwind and simply enjoy living in the moment each day.
  7. Keep things in perspective. We blow so many things up that should be allowed to stay the tiny, insignificant little things they are. Sometimes it helps if you put yourself in someone else’s shoes. When the server doesn’t refill your drink as often as you want her/him to – imagine working on your feet 8 hours every day, earning very little pay, and (most frightening of all) having to deal with the public all day. YIKES! Maybe it’ll make you smile and politely ask for another drink rather than stew and mentally deduct from the tip. Don’t be that person.
  8. Play soothing music.  If you have relaxation cds, play them to relax and wind down. If you don’t have any relaxing music in your collection, don’t fret – YouTube has plenty in their’s.  Simply go to YouTube and search for Relaxing Music (or relaxing piano music, classical music, relaxation…).  You’ll literally feel the stress leave your body. One of my favorites is “Japanese Garden Music” – I even listen to it when I’m already as relaxed as a chubby cat (see pic above).
  9. Hang out with your pets. Our precious cats are more than just family, they’re built in relaxation magic.  Simply petting a purring cat or a tail-wagging dog brings your whole body and mind to a calmer, happier, and more relaxed state. If you don’t have a pet, consider heading to your local Humane Society today and adopting one or two! They aren’t just excellent company… they’re family.
  10. Read a good book. Read the Bible, Emily Dickinson poetry, a historical novel, a biography, a National Geographic magazine, or even the comics in your newspaper – whatever floats your boat.  When you slow down long enough to engage your mind in reading, your breathing slows down, your pulse slows down… in essence, your whole world slows down.

For your own health and happiness, as well as those around you – start practicing relaxation tactics immediately. Become an expert at catching yourself as soon as tension begins to build. Tell yourself, out loud, “This isn’t a big deal.” When we focus on situations, we make them so big that they become like huge ogres in the car or room with us. But if we simply say, “Not worth it,” they suddenly shrink.

Adapt. Adjust. Then enjoy life for the beautiful gift it is.

~ Joi (“Joy”)

Dealing With Stress and Stress Triggers

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Sweet Hannah

Hannah: One of the Sweetest Cats to Ever Cat…

Have you ever seen an individual in the throes of stress?  They look like they have it worse than anybody on earth. They act like the entire world… and possibly even God, Himself, is out to get them.

Some lash out in a temper tantrum like a 5 year old that’s being forced to leave the McDonald’s playground.  Others sulk like one that never made it to the playground in the first place.    Still others internalize their stress – keeping it all in and under wraps, at least for the time being. I say for the time being because, it’s sure to come out eventually and when it does… you don’t want to be anywhere near the event.

Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. – Richard Carlson

Stress can be sneaky.  You can think you have a handle on it, but next thing you know,  every little thing seems to set you off.    After a while, you don’t even realize that SO MANY things are getting under your skin. You get so used to the feeling, you think it’s normal.

The saddest thing about this is the fact that you’re wasting precious moments, hours, days, weeks, months, and years of happiness and peace.

As far as I’m concerned, happiness and peace are two of the most beautiful words in the entire world.  Why let anything stand between you and these two beauties?!

If any of this sounds remotely like you, I have good… make that great… news for you. You don’t have to live at stress’ mercy.  You can do something about it and, quite frankly, the fact that you’re still reading means you are WELL on your way.

Coping Techniques for Stress

There are coping techniques for stress that you can experiment with.  Use these techniques in your own life and find the ones that bring more peace into your life and happiness into your days.

There are those beautiful words again.

Blowing up, internalizing, sulking, stressing – these are all things that are causing damage inside your body.  If you could somehow look inside and see what your inability to handle stress is doing, you’d find a way…. make a way… to cope.

I’m not judging and I’m not condemning.  I’m probably the least judgmental person you’ll ever encounter.  I get that everyone is different and I, honestly, love that fact.  I also have read enough, observed enough, and simply know through good old common sense that everyone reacts to things differently.  On any given day, three people can get a flat tire and each will react differently:

  1. One may cuss, pound the steering wheel, and search for the nearest person to blame – the road crew, the city, construction workers, the spouse (always a good one), God (yeah… He’s always home and has nothing better to do than pop tires), etc.  The blamers of life are real pills, aren’t they?  My oldest daughter and I watched a man outside of a coffee shop one afternoon a while back.  Something wasn’t quite right under the hood of his truck and he put on a display unlike anything I’ve seen in a while.  He hit the hood, he screamed at his mortified wife, he stomped, he kicked…  Some people were laughing at him, my daughter said he was “gross” and I just went back to my coffee hoping I never met him face to face.
  2. One may tear up and have a little “poor me, nothing ever goes right for me” cry.
  3. The third one might just say, “Wow, didn’t need that, but at least no one was hurt.  Oh well, if this is the worst thing that happens to me today, I’ve got it made.“

One person isn’t OVER ALL any better, smarter, or cooler than the other two.   Each simply copes differently.  The thing is, when we get to the place where we’re able to cope with stress like the individual in the third example, we’ll enjoy life more, we’ll function better, our health will be better, our relationships will be sweeter and we won’t be spectacles for others to laugh at, call gross, or wish we’d never even seen in the first place.

Irregardless of how we react to it, stress is a most unwelcome guest.  Like all unwelcome guests, it boils down to two choices:

  1. Get rid of it. If there is anything within your power to deal with what is stressing you out, do so. Most things are within our control – it’s just easier to “hope” for change than it is to “work” for it.  If you are physically, mentally, or emotionally unable to deal with it – find someone who can help you. There is no shame in asking for help – we all have to every now and then. And if it helps get rid of stress, isn’t it worth it?
  2. Learn to deal with it. I hate to be the one to break it to you, but sometimes you just have to make peace with a situation.  This is especially true when what’s causing your stress within someone else’s hands. You cannot control other people, and shouldn’t even want to, if we’re being honest.

Let’s take a closer look at the second one… learning to deal with it, simply because this is the water most of us will find ourselves wading through.  Often the things that cause us to “stress out” are things that we simply have no control over. The economy, politics, the media, sports, our grown children’s decisions – we’ll simmer over these worries until we’ve worked ourselves into a bundle of stressed out negative energy.

Over things we can’t control! What a waste of time and emotion. When we let things “get to us,” simply realizing it is the first step.  Taking a deep breath (two, if it involves our children), and acknowledging that this is something beyond our reach is the next step.

The third step is where the magic is – make peace with it. Remind yourself, “You don’t have to like it… you certainly don’t have to love it. But you will not let it rob you of another minute of peace.”

As usual, this makes me think of animals… everything makes me think of animals! Recently, a MUCH loved cat of mine (Hannah) had approached old age.

Very old age, to tell you the truth.

During the last months of her life, she lost weight and just wasn’t herself. As someone who has, literally, had cats all of her life, I saw (but hated) the writing on the wall. I found myself getting so stressed out and sad over it that I realized that I wasn’t enjoying the time I had left with her as much as I should have been. When she first began losing weight and looking like the little old lady that she was, I found myself feeling heartbroken and sad when I was around her. Sometimes I’d even start to cry because I knew time was running out.

I caught myself one day, though, and made up my mind to stop focusing on the negative and concentrate on the positive. I’d had this beautiful little cat in my life for many years and whether it was months, weeks, or days that I had left with her – they were going to be happy days.  Days celebrating her living, not days dreading her dying. I made peace with something that was the last thing I wanted to make peace with. However, it was inevitable and you know what fighting with the inevitable causes, right?

STRESS.

I did, of course, lose Hannah to old age. But I chose (and choose) to focus on the fact that I had one of the sweetest-natured, most beautiful, and spoiled rotten cats ever! She was my constant companion when I walked, did yard work, or just sat on the ground with her. She loved having her picture taken and would ALWAYS roll onto her back to show off her belly. She was uncommonly proud of that belly!

We gave her a wonderfully happy life and she brought more sunshine into our lives than you can imagine.

Sometimes if you want find peace, you simply have to make peace.

After all, when you think of peace, what do you think of as its “opposite?” War, right?  If you aren’t living “at peace,” you are living “at war.” How miserable and unhealthy does that sound?!

Stress Triggers

Before you can actually deal with stress, however, you have to identify your triggers.  In the example above, the man in front of the coffee shop obviously couldn’t cope with adversity.  (Good luck with life, buddy.)   I also wonder if a little bit of feeling helpless had something to do with his performance.  After all, if he knew what to do, wouldn’t he have been doing it rather than acting a fool?  The lashing out at his wife was probably somewhat of a defensive reaction to keep from showcasing that he didn’t know what to do.  (Pick up the phone… call someone who does… easy peasy…)

We can’t all know everything and there is no shame in simply smiling and saying, “I know as much about this as I do the mating habits of the blue footed boobie.”  There never has been and there never will be any shame in admitting that you’re human.

Some of my favorite people in the world are human.

Other people are triggered, seemingly, when they think the world isn’t doing enough for them or giving them enough.

My advice for these people is this:   The world doesn’t owe you anything.  If this is your thinking, let me hasten to point out that you’ve got it all twisted…. You owe the world.  Start giving and you won’t have time to throw a pity party.  Also, while you’re at it, stop complaining that others aren’t doing enough for you.  If you want something done, do it. Try this on for a while:  Go out of your way to do things for other people.  Compliment them, smile at them, help them out whenever and however you can.

There’s a great old saying, What goes around comes around – maybe you’ve been living that out and what you’re receiving is what you’ve been giving… or, in this case, haven’t been giving.

Just a thought.

A third stress trigger is feeling overwhelmed – like life is just giving you too much at one time.  We’ve all been there and few of us ever want to go back.

The emotions, turmoil, and so forth that surrounded my mom’s sudden death in 2006 left me feeling like I was completely and totally spent.   If not for prayer and an outstanding family, I might still be in bed with the covers over my head.

I actually remember the day that I “got up,”  emotionally.  I hadn’t physically stayed in bed for days after losing my mom, but my spirit sure did. With the covers pulled tightly around its head.

Then, one day, I was in the back of the house and I heard my husband and our youngest daughter in the front of the house looking for something.  I knew that, not only was this dynamic duo completely helpless when it came to finding anything, they’d make a colossal mess trying.  I flipped a switch that I’d forgotten even existed and, literally, rejoined my family.

Sometimes we have to admit that we’ve “gone under.”  Make no mistake about it, we all do at one time or another – we feel overwhelmed and worn out.  The trick is not to stay there.  Remember Lao-Tzu’s words, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”  If relationships, finances, work, or another potent opponent has you on the ropes…. or even if it has knocked you to the mat!… you have a choice to make:  Are you going to stay there or are you going to fight back?

The answer to your triggers, your problems, your adversities, and your stress lies inside of you.  Find someplace quiet and sort things out.  Stop placing blame on anyone, beginning with yourself.  Blame is the most irrelevant and useless expense of energy I can think of.  Forge past blame, forge past self-pity, and forge past anger. Find the solution you need to either remove your personal stress from your life or determine how you’ll learn to deal with it.

Life is too precious and the world is too beautiful to spend any measurable time whatsoever “on edge” or “stressed out.”