I hate to be the nice-y nice police…. no, wait. Who am I kidding? I don’t mind at all. Pin the badge on me!
I’ve just been wondering something lately. Why are people, for the most part, so rude and inconsiderate? Why does the average person seem to only care about him or herself – as though this is THEIR world and everyone else is put here merely to serve them?
People fly off the handle to restaurant staff, store clerks, bank tellers, and so on. If they’re the least bit inconvenienced, the fangs come out and the air turns blue. What’s up with that? You have to wait 10 minutes for a table – is it really worth making a complete ass of yourself? If your time is so much more precious than everyone else’s, why not be civil? Kindly inform the workers that you know they’re busy and that you can see they’re working hard. Ask them if there’s any indication that a table will be ready for you anytime soon. If not, take thyself to the next restaurant!
If a cashier makes a mistake, why not point it out with a smile? Why not be civil about it rather than being a jerk? She/he isn’t out for you, they’re simply human and made a human error.
If your webmaster or webmistress linked a word to the wrong page, why not simply point it out? Why rant, belittle, and nominate yourself for jerk of the year? Simply point out that there’s a little goof and ask if they can fix it when they get a chance?
If your son doesn’t put the hammer exactly where you want it, why not say something like, “Buddy, dad (or mom) tends to get busy and have a tough time keeping up with things. Could you help me out and make doubly sure things go back where I know they’ll be? I’d appreciate it!” It’s a lot better than, “You &*^%#! You NEVER do anything right! I ALWAYS have to pick up after your *(#*&!”
For one thing, only jerks use “never” and “always” in disagreements. Oh, and first graders.
Secondly, why rattle someone’s cage or push their buttons? If you want them to help you, make life easier for you, or do something for you (which is what you’re after in the first place), doesn’t it make more sense to have them on your side?!?! You want them to respect you and you certainly want them to like you. If they disrespect you or think of you as a rude jerk, honestly, how much effort do you think they’re ever going to put into putting and keeping a smile on your face?
It’s the start of a new week. It’s the perfect time to think about how you act and react to people when you’re inconvenienced, annoyed, or disappointed. If you know you’re a ranting, finger-pointing, nightmare for everyone in public and private, ask yourself why you think you’re this way. For example, is it what you grew up with? Or were you in the military, where screaming was the norm for flawed situations?
Irregardless of WHY you tend to overreact now, realize that you do. Also, realize that the people you treat like this don’t deserve it. What’s more, YOU don’t deserve it. YOU deserve to be respected and loved by all and if you’re being a jerk, it’s just not going to happen. The next time you feel like someone hasn’t done enough for you (or they weren’t quick enough, or they didn’t do exactly what you wanted…), catch yourself. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that you’re, literally, having a temper tantrum and looking like a perfect fool.
It’s just not a good look for anyone.
Not long ago, I read an interview with Dick Van Dyke. (Love him!) He said that he wasn’t a fan of reality television because he didn’t think it had a good effect on society. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love quite a few reality tv shows, but I can see where he’s coming from. Think about it, few people on reality television shows act like you’d want anyone in your family acting like. Most of the time, they’re very selfish and incredibly greedy.
Ironically enough, Survivor just wrapped up and the winner just so happened to have lied to a guy who was supposed to be his close friend. Yes, that’s part of territory. My biggest problems with him were the fact that he used a very impressionable teenage girl and completely pulled her strings. He did the same with two other very young girls. I’m sorry if I’m overreacting to it all – and I apologize if you disagree with me. However, I’m a mother of three daughters which gives me a great amount of compassion and concern for young girls. I go off the deep end many times when it comes to young people and animals. Have you noticed?!
It was just uncomfortable to watch at times.
At several points, an unpredictable, volatile man would be screaming at these young girls. This “winner” never intervened, never stepped in, and never came to the girls’ defense. There wasn’t anything in it for him.
He not only won the title of Sole Survivor. He was voted fan favorite as well.
Mr. Van Dyke makes a stellar case. And this is one of the more “reasonable” and socially conscious reality shows.
Okay, grumbling over. Back to the real world. It matters how you treat people, and I know you know that. The problem is, when we’re annoyed or inconvenienced, that goes right out the window. Yet it shouldn’t – after all, that’s the time people are watching you the most!
Let kindness, understanding, and patience work for you – they’ll do more for your cause than immaturity, yelling, sulking, or name-calling ever will.
If people would start treating others the way they’d expect to be treated, the world would certainly be a better place. That’s a golden idea, isn’t it? Why hasn’t someone thought of that before?
Thanks for the very wise words of wisdom. We all need to practice patience and respect towards others.
Good point.. I know I often have a habit of overreacting and expecting people to be perfect when they’re simply humans, and doing the best in life.
Adie @ log homes plans says
In my opinion, some people try to put a strong personality out of their vulnerable attitude just to protect their selves to be taken advantage by others. I am not saying it’s right, but I know some friends who think like that. They believe that if you’re too kind, others will only abuse you.
Practice patience – a great virtue!!