Mark Twain Quotes

Funny Quotes by Mark Twain

Mark Twain American Writer Born: Samuel Langhorne Clemens Pictured in a White Suit

Quotes by Mark Twain

The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly times pause. – Mark Twain

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example. – Mark Twain

Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it. – Mark Twain

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear – not absence of fear. – Mark Twain

Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more. – Mark Twain

The difference between the right word and almost the right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug. – Mark Twain

Do something everyday that you don’t want to do. – Mark Twain Quote

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain. – Mark Twain Quote

Take your mind out every now and then and dance on it. It is getting all caked up. – Mark Twain

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can somehow become great. – Mark Twain

Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. – Mark Twain

I don’t give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way. – Mark Twain

Don’t part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live. – Mark Twain

I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened. – Mark Twain

Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge. – Mark Twain

Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time. – Mark Twain

Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place. – Mark Twain

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. – Mark Twain

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. – Mark Twain

I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him. – Mark Twain

An Englishman is a person who does things because they have been done before. An American is a person who does things because they haven’t been done before. – Mark Twain

I am different from Washington. I have a higher, grander standard of principle. Washington could not lie. I can lie, but I won’t. – Mark Twain

Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has laid an egg cackles as if she has laid an asteroid.  – Mark Twain

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One thought on “Mark Twain Quotes

  1. Some great collection of quotes there. Always loved Mark Twain’s sense of humor in most of his quotes. To me – “A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.” takes the cake :)
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