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How to Feel Better About Growing Older: Your Story Isn’t Over, It’s Just Getting Good!

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How to feel happier about aging

Live. Love. Laugh… Then Laugh a Little More!

First of all, allow me to say that if you’re feeling unhappy, sad, or in any way negative about growing older or looking older, there’s nothing wrong with that! We feel how we feel and we are entitled to these feelings. So when I try to make you feel happier, I am not (in any way) suggesting you are wrong to feel sad or unhappy. I just want you to be happy – I like your smile.

The loss of youth, a youthful appearance, and of being able to do all we once did can be unsettling. In fact, isn’t it the last two things that get to us the most? I don’t know about you, but the number doesn’t bother me… even when I hit the fifties, I didn’t mind the number. I mean a number is just that… a number. I do mind not being able to walk as far or jog like I used to. I mind not being able to eat certain foods or eat late into the evening like I once did.

And boy oh boy, did I mind the peculiar things that began to happen on my arms (there used to be more tone and definition, if memory serves!), face, and (Lord have mercy) neck.

Seriously… why does the neck turn on a person so quickly?! The one body part it’s almost impossible to cover, camouflage, or paint?!?

We all have moments, don’t we? I almost never stress over appearance, I do my nails, spritz on my perfume, fluff my curls, apply makeup, ask my neck, “Why, though?” and get on with life. I have always (even as a teenager) cared 100 percent more about what was inside a person more than what was outside, including myself.

Whether it’s me or someone else, I am infinitely attracted to a great sense of humor, a love of life, a non-judgmental attitude, and a personality that draws you in its direction. We live in a world that focuses entirely too much on appearance (thanks a lot social media, selfies, and fad diets). How much better would it be if we praised personalities, compassion, being well-read, etc.

NOTHING in the world wrong with wanting to be healthy, look your best, and feel your best – but what’s going on INSIDE is so much more important and I’m willing to die on that hill.

If you’re reading this, odds are you’re feeling a little (or a lot) down about aging. Whether it was something you saw in the mirror (it was the neck, wasn’t it?) or something you weren’t able to do as well as you once were, you may simply have a case of the “sads.”

I want very much to see if I can help you get past the sads and dive head-first into the glads like a puppy in a pile of leaves.

Below are a few tips and tricks of the trade I’ve learned in the fabulous fifties (they really are fabulous in many ways):

  1. Keep a sense of humor – it will serve you well! I’ve listed this first for a reason – I think it may just be the most important one. Having a sense of humor and being able to see the humor in most situations is vital throughout life, but never more so than in the golden years (50-100+).  When you’re laughing, you aren’t ignoring things that bother or bug you (more about those in a minute), you’re simply letting them know you will NOT be brought down by them. You will NOT allow them to trample on your joy or let the air out of your happiness. Laughing doesn’t just feel good, it is healthy for your body and mind. I highly, highly, highly recommend watching The Golden Girls and (if colorful language doesn’t offend you) the Grumpy Old Men movies. They’re hilarious and will absolutely remind you to laugh. The Golden Girls could actually be prescribed therapy for us women who are growing older. They wear it so well and have so much fun with life, it reminds us that we can too!
  2. Eat right, sleep right, and keep your doctor’s appointments. I want to see you happy, but I also want to see you healthy. Some people get a certain age and they do all they can to avoid doctors. Horrible idea! Getting a great checkup could make a world of difference in how you feel. So very often, someone feels “off” or “not quite themselves” and bloodwork shows that all they need is a little more Vitamin D or Iron. Both of these make a whole world of difference in how you feel.  I’ve also found that Magnesium is something else that helps a great deal. Be sure to ask your doctor about each of these. Also, be sure you’re eating right and getting enough sleep. Both are vital to looking and feeling your best.
  3. Address those things that bug you! If you don’t like something about yourself (weight, hair, skin… whatever), research ways to improve it and get to work. Once you start working on something, you feel instantly better – long before you see even a hint of improvement, you feel a world better.
  4. Don’t focus on what LEFT… focus on what REMAINS. If you’ve suffered a loss in relationships, family member, health, a pet, home, business, or you feel like you’ve lost a piece of yourself, try very hard not to focus too much energy on what you have lost (or even perceive that you’ve lost). Focus, instead, on what or who remains. It’s a trick many use when dealing with an empty nest. They go from focusing on the child or children who had the audacity to leave the nest (how dare they grow up?!) and they focus on who and/or what remains. When you feel every bit of your age, try to switch your focus to the fact that you’re still bright, still funny, and (on some days) even downright sassy. Don’t spend too much time looking at those gray hairs… look, instead, at how your eyes still sparkle. It sounds simple, but it is absolutely therapeutic. Focus on what remains. Focus on what remains. Focus on what remains.
  5. Do not look to the future with fear or sadness, look instead at the life you’ve lived with awe and gladness! Think of the love, the laughs, the things you’ve seen, and the things you’ve done. Your life is a wonderful story and it is in NO WAY over yet! Heck, the best chapters may still lie ahead.

I don’t want to keep you much longer, I want you to get out there and enjoy your wonderful life, but I’ll just leave you with this. The next time you’re thinking anything like…

  • “I can’t do this, I’m too old…”
  • “I will never be okay with how I look..”
  • “What is with these creaking knees?”

… I want you to think back on your life. I want you to name times when you were your own hero.  Did you overcome cancer, a gallbladder operation, an especially bad car wreck, or a scary trip to the emergency room? Have you had to say goodbye (for now!) to your mom, dad, husband, wife, or other loved one at a funeral home? Did you have a dream home you had to drive away from… or close a business you worked half your life for? Think of the times you’ve had to step up, be tougher than you ever thought possible, and come walking out of the rubble… maybe even limping at first. Now tell yourself, “I’ve lived through the worst. This will be a cakewalk.”

Be your own hero. Hey, you’ve done it before… you’re good at this!

Make each moment count double and stay in the fight! ~ Joi (“Joy”)

How to feel happier about aging

Your Story Isn’t Over… It’s Just Getting Good!

Norman Vincent Peale on Positivity and How to Keep Social Media from Making you Miserable!

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Positivity Quote by Norman Vincent Peale

“The person who sends out positive thoughts activates the world around him positively and draws back to himself positive results.” ~ Norman Vincent Peale

This is one of those quotes that’s ABSOLUTELY worth spending a little time alone with. I’ve been trying to decide, lately, why exactly so many people seem so negative these days. I’ve actually been thinking about it for a week or so and I keep coming back to two words…. social media.

The sarcastic, negative, and often downright mean posts usually get the most engagement – the number one thing most on social media are after. It doesn’t even really matter to them if the those who engage are agreeing or disagreeing, they simply want (and VERY often benefit monetarily) a large number of people to talk TO them and ABOUT them.

They crave it like I crave coffee… which is truly saying something, trust me.

Problem is, far too often people see the negativity on social media and, even when they register that it’s unattractive and nasty, they often take it offline with them. Suddenly their server at Applebee’s needs to be talked about behind his back because his hair was blue, they can’t give the woman passing them in a car a laughing emoji, so they ridicule the way she looks with their words… and on and on and on.

Can you imagine if the opposite were true?! What if things we spent time with affected us in positive ways? What if time we spent online, reading a book, listening to a podcast, watching tv, or watching videos more or less “conditioned” us to be more positive and happy offline?!

That’s why it is of the utmost importance to not just choose your friends wisely, but also important to choose your pastimes wisely. You could make a case that how you spend your time (which so strongly influences who you ARE) is even more important than choosing friends.

I’m not at all saying you have to give up social media. Personally, I love interacting on Twitter and Instagram. But the trick is, I’ve gotten really, really good at weeding out the ones who fill my mind and heart with negativity, sadness, and even madness. Those who seem to be hellbent on making others as angry, sad, or miserable as they are get the block from me.

Think about it, if someone showed up on your doorstep yelling and cursing about everything and everyone who they disagreed with, would you let them in to spread their toxicity and mood on you and your family? Heck no! They’d get the door slammed in their face… IF it had even been opened in the first place.

What I’m suggesting is this:

  • Even if the people you follow online are people who you usually agree with, if they’re leaving their angry fingerprints on your psyche, they aren’t worth it. Follow and interact with those who make you smile and who don’t give you extra weight to carry. The best ones are the ones who make your load feel lighter!
  • Balance time spent with social media (and even the news) with positive input. Think of positive, upbeat, encouraging input as healthy comfort food. The rest? Junk food! No way you’re going to be able to cut all the junk food out (like my personal relationship with fries!), so you need to find a way to balance it all out.

Reading good (really good), positive authors is an excellent way to fill your mind and heart with positivity. Positive podcasts, old movies, and other things that lift you up as opposed to weigh you down… that’s the good stuff!

Make each moment count double! ~ Joi (“Joy”)


The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale (Amazon link)

Follow the link for more Norman Vincent Peale Quotes.

Best mental health apps – Alternative to Mind Therapy

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Mind therapy can be really expensive, and not everyone can afford it to improve their mental health. If you are worried about your mental well-being, you don’t have to rely on therapists and doctors, especially if they are way beyond your budget. You can take help from the best mental health applications instead. Mental health applications are the online resources that can help you train your mind and provide various digital opportunities and activities that you can enjoy while relieving your mind of stress and anxiety.

There are hundreds of mental health applications indexed on the application stores, but not all can be discussed in one post. This is why we have handpicked the most effective options for you in this article.

Best Mental Health applications that you should try instead of mind therapy! The apps that we have listed in this section are free to download and are considered best for treating your mental health and anxiety at home. So let us go through the details of these apps without any delay.

  •  Antistress, Relaxing, Anxiety & Stress Relief Game One of the best ways to put your mind off stress and anxiety is by playing digital anti stress games. This relax game application is the home to more than thirty different mind relaxing games that can help you relieve your mind from all the negative energy and stress. This antistress game app is free to use, and you don’t have to worry about any registrations and signups. You have to pick the game which interests you and start playing it. You will feel instant relaxation while playing these games. You should try this free antistress game app.
  • Mind Shift – Anti-Anxiety This relax game has been designed by one of the most popular non-profit organizations in Canada. You should know that mind shift is a free application that you can use on any of your smartphones. This antistress mental health application uses CBT therapy to teach users relaxation skills. Getting hooked with this app is not only going to help you relax your mind, but it would also improve your thinking abilities. Your mental health would surely improve after you take a few sessions with this app. A mind shift is best for people of all ages.
  • PTSD Coach This is another famous antistress application that, as the name tells us, is best for dealing with post-traumatic stress. This application is widely used across the globe, and this is mainly because it works in different languages. Most army personnel and people who go through stressful events use this application. If you have gone through a disturbing event in your life and don’t know how to combat it, You could go through digital sessions to improve your stress and anxiety.
  • Belly Bio – deep breathing expert Breathing helps strengthen your mind and reduce all kinds of negative energy from your mind. Belly bio is an anti stress app that can help you practice and improve breathing. This application would monitor your breathing when you put your mobile phone on your belly. Of course, for that, you have to lie down. The app doesn’t only track your breathing pattern. Still, it also provides you with music and relaxing sounds that can reduce your anxiety and improve your mental health.
  • Quit That This is a very professional and reliable mental health application that you should have on your mobile. If you want to see a therapist because you want to quit some bad and unwanted habits, you should drop your plan and download this application. This application provides you with real-time progress tracking when you are working on quitting a bad habit. People who want to get rid of smoking or drinking should try this application. This is free to use and is known to be a good partner for your mental health.
  • Take a Break This is another online application that can help you improve your mental health. If you are going through stress and anxiety, you have to take a break with this app. This application is a free resource filled with more than a hundred meditation sessions and relaxing sound clips. You would find both seven-minute and thirteen-minute meditation sessions on this application to help you release stress from your mind and body. The antistress sounds and sessions offered by this app are quite effective, so you should try them. The best thing about this app is its simple interface which makes its use easier.

End Words

In this context, we have discussed some of the most mental health and antistress applications being used across the globe. Getting expensive therapy can be a stress on its own. If you don’t have the money to meet a doctor, you can easily take the digital route and treat yourself with the help of your smartphone. We suggest you try these applications and take regular sessions and play games for evident results and improvements!

Sometimes it Truly is the Little Things… So Always Keep Your Eyes, Ears, and Hearts Open!

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Quote Graphic About Finding Happiness in the Small things

“The art of being happy lies in the power of extracting happiness from common things.” ~ Henry Ward Beecher

I’ve been thinking a lot about happiness lately. A global pandemic…. with constant bickering and dissention among most people affected by it… an unstable economy, and challenging trips to the store (when will they EVER load up on cat food again?!!) may seem like a crazy time to think about happiness.

Then again, maybe it’s the perfect time to think about happiness.

Sadly, “how to be happy” has always been one of the most searched for things, online and off. The past few years has made it even more so. While it may seem like an understatement of epic proportions, the truth is it’s often better to simply allow happiness to find you than to go seeking for it.

It is, after all, an even better hider than Bigfoot in the game of hide and seek.

I think one of the reasons is, no one knows just exactly what it looks like. How are you supposed to find something if it doesn’t have a readily available profile bio or description of its vital statistics?!

I do, actually, have one theory about looking for happiness and, depending upon your mood at the moment, you will either think I may have a point or think I may need to be locked up.

I hope it isn’t the latter… I mean, sure I’m a homebody, but I don’t like lockdowns!

Here’s my theory: Looking for happiness is actually a waste of time and energy because it’s already in the room with us… hiding behind a temporary fog of disappointment, worries, anxieties, or grief.

It is there!

When we go through really tough  periods of time – whether it’s a horrible day or week at the office, a broken dream, any kind of loss (big or small) – a kind of fog descends upon us. It hinders our view of things that could make us smile – if we could only see them.

It’s during these trying times that we have to make a conscious effort to lean in toward the happiness and make a concentrated effort to see them. We won’t find them with a Google search, we’ll only find them with a search of our own life.

Below are just a few hiding places Happiness may be waiting for you…

  • a cat’s meow
  • a spouse telling you supper was “fantastic”
  • the smell of coffee in the morning
  • the smell of coffee in the afternoon
  • the smell of coffee in the evening
  • try not to judge my coffee obsession
  • a child’s laughter (pretty sure they have healing potential)
  • an old episode of Sanford and Son, I Love Lucy, or Andy Griffith
  • a great old Western you used to watch with your dad
  • an Agatha Christie mystery
  • Christmas songs!
  • birds at the bird feeder
  • a perfect sunrise
  • a perfect sunset
  • a dog’s joy when you come home from the store
  • a cat’s indifference when you come home from anywhere
  • cooking
  • the beauty and deliciousness of sushi
  • the artistry of a butterfly
  • coloring in a coloring book (one for adults or children!)
  • reading the book of Psalms
  • losing yourself in a History Channel show about Amelia Earhart or a favorite time in history
  • baking cupcakes
  • eating cupcakes!
  • redesigning a room in your house
  • cleaning your garage (okay, happiness doesn’t hide in the work, but it sure is there when it’s done!)
  • yoga
  • Motown!
  • turning on the Boomerang channel and watching old Tom and Jerry cartoons
  • a 15 minute walk, with your eyes, ears, and heart all open and taking in every moment
  • taking pictures of trees, grandbabies, cats, the sky… anything that fascinates you

The list goes on and on and on and on…

The steps to having more happiness in your life are simple..

  1. Keep your eyes open to see all of your blessings.
  2. Keep your ears on guard for every whisper and echo of joy.
  3. Stay completely in the moment… you just never know when happiness is going to brush against your skin.

Always be open to the magic around you! ~ Joi (“Joy”)


Top 6 Mood-Boosting & Other Health Benefits of Pets

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Health Benefits of Pets Graphic

The Health and Happiness Benefits of Pets is Extraordinary!

by Nicole McCray

Pets have always been incredible companions for their owners, and although they require a lot of care, pets bring us a lot of joy, too. Many of us feel that pets generate feelings of happiness for us and within our families. The bond and connection between humans and their pets are beneficial and rewarding on both sides.

While you may already know that bringing a pet home will give you joy, but there is so much more to it. Owning a pet can have genuinely positive effects on our physical and mental health, and it goes beyond just helping us be happier. 

Did you know that pets who form strong bonds with their owners can become in synch with their tone of voice, gestures, and body language? It aids them in understanding what they are feeling at any given time. 

Pet owners aren’t always aware of the multiple effects that pets have on their health. Here are some of the top mental, physical, and emotional health benefits that having a pet can do for you. 

Pets Reduce Stress and Blood Pressure

Having a pet can cause stress by having accidents indoors, becoming sick, or destroying your furniture. However, owning a pet also aid in helping to relieve feelings of stress, hypertension, and anxiety. For example, there was a study with children who owned pets that discovered they had much lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol when interacting with their furry companions and creating a decrease in blood pressure.

So, you can effectively reduce your stress and anxiety just by playing with your pet. Even just something like simply stroking your pet’s head will be engaging enough to work on lessening those stress levels. So, the next time you have a rough day or are gone from home for a while, think about providing your pet with some quality time – it’s not only great for them, but it will help you too.

Pets Alleviate Depression

Along with lower stress levels, pets can also help those suffering from clinical depression. You may notice whenever you are feeling blue or down, your pet can help make you smile again, immediately boosting your mood. 

The National Institute of Mental Health utilizes animal therapy to help treat depression and other mood disorders because pets have such a positive effect on emotions. In addition, pets remain loyal as companions, so when someone is feeling isolated or withdrawn, their pet will still be there and work to help provide feelings of calm and comfort.

Pets Give Us Healthier Hearts

Heart disease is the leading cause of death in the United States. People with pets, however, are less likely to suffer from a heart attack or risk of stroke. The American Heart Association has performed studies that concluded that owning a pet can reduce the risk of cardiovascular disease. 

Owning a pet also increases the likelihood of increasing your physical activity, which leads to being more fit. Most pets require some form of exercise, and if you are actively engaging with your pet, that means you are also getting some exercise. Exercise will help keep your heart healthy, give you more energy and help you maintain a healthy weight.

Pets Help Prevent Allergies

Another unexpected heart benefit from owning a pet is that exposure creates a barrier against having allergies. Millions of people suffer from allergies, and pet dander can be a common trigger for them, but exposure to them earlier in life, such as when you are a child, helps lower your risk for developing them.

A study in Medical News Today associated that children exposed to animals at an early age had a much lower risk of having asthma by the time they started school. The theory behind this is that being around allergens or pathogens will strengthen your immune system and effectively increase your tolerance to allergies.

Pets Promote Better Social Skills and Relationships

It is no surprise that most pet owners have a special connection and bond with their furry friends. Many, if not all of us, usually consider our pets to be more than just a pet, but a member of the family unit. However, that special bond that is created also benefits us with other relationships.

The clinicians at Bond Vet – NYC Animal Hospital said that many adults who had developed previous attachments to animals when they were young tend to have more understanding, empathy, and compassion. In addition, their emotional intuitiveness creates more substantial relationships with people. 

Social skills are improved because taking care of animals gives owners a leadership role as caregivers. In addition, taking care of pets leads people to be more involved within their community, helping others and taking on other roles as leaders because it makes them feel good. Even studies have performed that children with autism showed more assertiveness if they lived with a pet. 

Pets Help Us Sleep Better

While you may not want to allow your pet to sleep in the bed with you, having it in the bedroom at least can help with the overall quality of your sleep. Pets love to feel secure and comforted, and they like being close to their owners, even when they are sleeping. 

Researchers found that pet owners who had their pets in the bed with them or within their bedroom found that they slept better and did not find the pet to be disruptive to their sleep. The feelings of companionship, security, and relaxation offered a better night’s rest for both pet owners and their furry friends.

With all of these tremendous advantages that pets give us, it is easy to see that bringing a pet into the home is more than just helpful to the pet. There is much joy and love to be had, and taking care of your pet creates many wonderful ways that improve your overall health and wellbeing.