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Remember How Free it Felt to Be a Kid? Yeah… Let’s Tap Back into That!

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Live Free Quote Graphic

Live Free!

I recently caught myself over-fretting about something in particular (a hiatal hernia I have.. very minor but very bothersome). I allowed it to intrude on every single day. I could be having a wonderful, beautiful day with my grandbabies in the yard and my mind would turn to IT…

  • I wonder if I’m lifting too much today.
  • Should I eat more fiber?
  • Should I give up meat?
  • What’s that pain? Is it IT starting to act up?

You know the routine. Give your mental worry wart an inch and she will absolutely take a mile and a half. If you don’t catch yourself, you’ll find that you’re almost like a bird in a cage – and each bar is a worry your mind will not let go of.

Trick is, it doesn’t even have to be a health issue people become “caged by.” It can be weight, growing older, money (many a cage is built by this one alone!), etc.

What’s more, a lot of people build cages made up of bars they take from other people’s lives…

  • Oh man, should he lose weight… why DOES he eat so much?
  • She should absolutely stop dressing like she’s still in her 20s.
  • Why in tarnation does my son listen to that so-called music?!
  • If he wears a mask one more time in this store I’m going to scream.
  • Why do kids like to play video games? I never did!
  • etc etc etc etc…

Left unchecked, a cage is most assuredly built and the builder finds himself or herself caged like a parakeet that can’t taste freedom.

I caught myself one gorgeous afternoon while, ironically, watching a few birds in the tree. I thought of birds I’d seen in a zoo’s “Rain Forest” exhibition once and also in another part of the zoo, in smaller cages. I looked at the birds in front of me and thought, “How wonderful that they’re so FREE!”

At that moment (personally, as a Spiritual person, I believe the Holy Spirit nudged me), I realized that my ridiculous thoughts were caging me and keeping me from truly tasting the freedom I should be feasting on. Since that moment, whenever my mind wants to veer off into the land of “what if”s, I literally say (sometimes out loud, to my cats’ amusement), “No! I’m FREE from that cage!”

Let me tell you, friends, freedom feels beautiful and it is a very addictive feeling.

I’ve also used it in a few other instances, giving sweet FREEDOM to myself in other areas that could become problematic:

  • When I see someone so filled with hate and anger online, instead of fretting over them, I say a quick prayer for them and let it go… again, claiming the “freedom.”
  • When I find myself worrying about something on the world’s stage (of which I have zero control)… well, see above.

One of the things this experience has reminded me of is the feeling we had as children… every day was exciting and filled with wonder. We weren’t weighed down with any of the above nonsense. We were free – children simply aren’t into cage BUILDING… they’re into FLYING FREE.

We could learn a lesson or two from them. In fact, if you’re like me, you often have a word or two you take into a new year as your “focus word” for that year. I already know the word I’ll be carrying into 2023 and I highly recommend you pack it as well… FREEDOM.

Try it, you’ll love it.

This is a very short post and a very quick thought, but I was very anxious to share it with you because it has meant the world to me. In  fact, it has meant experiencing more freedom – and you cannot put a price tag on that. ~ Joi (“Joy”)

How to Feel Better About Growing Older: Your Story Isn’t Over, It’s Just Getting Good!

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How to feel happier about aging

Live. Love. Laugh… Then Laugh a Little More!

First of all, allow me to say that if you’re feeling unhappy, sad, or in any way negative about growing older or looking older, there’s nothing wrong with that! We feel how we feel and we are entitled to these feelings. So when I try to make you feel happier, I am not (in any way) suggesting you are wrong to feel sad or unhappy. I just want you to be happy – I like your smile.

The loss of youth, a youthful appearance, and of being able to do all we once did can be unsettling. In fact, isn’t it the last two things that get to us the most? I don’t know about you, but the number doesn’t bother me… even when I hit the fifties, I didn’t mind the number. I mean a number is just that… a number. I do mind not being able to walk as far or jog like I used to. I mind not being able to eat certain foods or eat late into the evening like I once did.

And boy oh boy, did I mind the peculiar things that began to happen on my arms (there used to be more tone and definition, if memory serves!), face, and (Lord have mercy) neck.

Seriously… why does the neck turn on a person so quickly?! The one body part it’s almost impossible to cover, camouflage, or paint?!?

We all have moments, don’t we? I almost never stress over appearance, I do my nails, spritz on my perfume, fluff my curls, apply makeup, ask my neck, “Why, though?” and get on with life. I have always (even as a teenager) cared 100 percent more about what was inside a person more than what was outside, including myself.

Whether it’s me or someone else, I am infinitely attracted to a great sense of humor, a love of life, a non-judgmental attitude, and a personality that draws you in its direction. We live in a world that focuses entirely too much on appearance (thanks a lot social media, selfies, and fad diets). How much better would it be if we praised personalities, compassion, being well-read, etc.

NOTHING in the world wrong with wanting to be healthy, look your best, and feel your best – but what’s going on INSIDE is so much more important and I’m willing to die on that hill.

If you’re reading this, odds are you’re feeling a little (or a lot) down about aging. Whether it was something you saw in the mirror (it was the neck, wasn’t it?) or something you weren’t able to do as well as you once were, you may simply have a case of the “sads.”

I want very much to see if I can help you get past the sads and dive head-first into the glads like a puppy in a pile of leaves.

Below are a few tips and tricks of the trade I’ve learned in the fabulous fifties (they really are fabulous in many ways):

  1. Keep a sense of humor – it will serve you well! I’ve listed this first for a reason – I think it may just be the most important one. Having a sense of humor and being able to see the humor in most situations is vital throughout life, but never more so than in the golden years (50-100+).  When you’re laughing, you aren’t ignoring things that bother or bug you (more about those in a minute), you’re simply letting them know you will NOT be brought down by them. You will NOT allow them to trample on your joy or let the air out of your happiness. Laughing doesn’t just feel good, it is healthy for your body and mind. I highly, highly, highly recommend watching The Golden Girls and (if colorful language doesn’t offend you) the Grumpy Old Men movies. They’re hilarious and will absolutely remind you to laugh. The Golden Girls could actually be prescribed therapy for us women who are growing older. They wear it so well and have so much fun with life, it reminds us that we can too!
  2. Eat right, sleep right, and keep your doctor’s appointments. I want to see you happy, but I also want to see you healthy. Some people get a certain age and they do all they can to avoid doctors. Horrible idea! Getting a great checkup could make a world of difference in how you feel. So very often, someone feels “off” or “not quite themselves” and bloodwork shows that all they need is a little more Vitamin D or Iron. Both of these make a whole world of difference in how you feel.  I’ve also found that Magnesium is something else that helps a great deal. Be sure to ask your doctor about each of these. Also, be sure you’re eating right and getting enough sleep. Both are vital to looking and feeling your best.
  3. Address those things that bug you! If you don’t like something about yourself (weight, hair, skin… whatever), research ways to improve it and get to work. Once you start working on something, you feel instantly better – long before you see even a hint of improvement, you feel a world better.
  4. Don’t focus on what LEFT… focus on what REMAINS. If you’ve suffered a loss in relationships, family member, health, a pet, home, business, or you feel like you’ve lost a piece of yourself, try very hard not to focus too much energy on what you have lost (or even perceive that you’ve lost). Focus, instead, on what or who remains. It’s a trick many use when dealing with an empty nest. They go from focusing on the child or children who had the audacity to leave the nest (how dare they grow up?!) and they focus on who and/or what remains. When you feel every bit of your age, try to switch your focus to the fact that you’re still bright, still funny, and (on some days) even downright sassy. Don’t spend too much time looking at those gray hairs… look, instead, at how your eyes still sparkle. It sounds simple, but it is absolutely therapeutic. Focus on what remains. Focus on what remains. Focus on what remains.
  5. Do not look to the future with fear or sadness, look instead at the life you’ve lived with awe and gladness! Think of the love, the laughs, the things you’ve seen, and the things you’ve done. Your life is a wonderful story and it is in NO WAY over yet! Heck, the best chapters may still lie ahead.

I don’t want to keep you much longer, I want you to get out there and enjoy your wonderful life, but I’ll just leave you with this. The next time you’re thinking anything like…

  • “I can’t do this, I’m too old…”
  • “I will never be okay with how I look..”
  • “What is with these creaking knees?”

… I want you to think back on your life. I want you to name times when you were your own hero.  Did you overcome cancer, a gallbladder operation, an especially bad car wreck, or a scary trip to the emergency room? Have you had to say goodbye (for now!) to your mom, dad, husband, wife, or other loved one at a funeral home? Did you have a dream home you had to drive away from… or close a business you worked half your life for? Think of the times you’ve had to step up, be tougher than you ever thought possible, and come walking out of the rubble… maybe even limping at first. Now tell yourself, “I’ve lived through the worst. This will be a cakewalk.”

Be your own hero. Hey, you’ve done it before… you’re good at this!

Make each moment count double and stay in the fight! ~ Joi (“Joy”)

How to feel happier about aging

Your Story Isn’t Over… It’s Just Getting Good!

4 Effective Options To Straighten Your Teeth Safely

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A straight and beautiful smile is often considered to be the best accessory. However, many people may not have confidence when it comes to the appearance of their teeth. Because of this, many teeth-straightening options have become available, such as metal braces. While they are known as the most effective treatment to straighten your teeth, the metallic look of conventional braces is not something everyone likes. As a result, other more comfortable solutions have emerged, which means you can have your teeth straightened without getting braces. Today we will discuss some of the most effective and safe options to straighten your teeth and achieve your dream smile.

Teeth Aligners

Teeth aligners are a popular choice among many people, as they can easily fit into any lifestyle. This revolutionary orthodontic treatment involves getting clear aligners, which are easy to maintain and remove when eating, drinking, or brushing your teeth. You can get a brand new smile with teeth aligners, provided by Straight My Teeth. This is a more affordable option, as patients can easily be assessed online and offered the best treatment. As opposed to metal braces, these aligners are designed to be smooth and discreet. The company will send customized teeth aligners directly to your door, ensuring any concerns and questions you have are addressed.

Tooth Contouring

Tooth contouring or tooth reshaping can help you fix minor imperfections and misshapen teeth. A dentist will use drills and lasers to remove some of your enamel during this procedure. This will ensure your teeth have the desired shape, size, and length. Once tooth contouring has been performed, your teeth will be polished, which will have a natural-looking effect. Although this treatment is non-invasive, it can still produce some effective results. In addition, it is also one of the fastest ways to straighten your teeth, as it only requires one appointment done in an hour or less. Remember to familiarize yourself with the process of tooth contouring, the risks and costs.

Dental Veneers

Dental veneers or porcelain veneers are thin, custom-made tooth-coloured shells, which aim to improve your appearance. They are used for a variety of different purposes and cosmetic concerns. This treatment may be ideal for someone with fractured teeth, crowded teeth or gaps between teeth. One of the most important benefits of this procedure is that it can be done in one sitting and thus results are immediate. Some people may consider getting more than one veneer so that they can achieve a more even and symmetrical smile. Depending on the type of veneer that you choose, they can last for more than a decade.

Palatal Expansion

Palatal expansion is another procedure that involves using palatal expanding devices to widen the upper jaw. This is done to fit the bottom and upper teeth better. The technique is best completed by an orthodontist before the jaw fully develops. Usually, this means the most suitable age range is between 8 and 18, but adults can also benefit from this procedure in the same way. Palate expanders are used to correct a range of dental problems including crossbites, underbites, crowded teeth, and impacted teeth. According to your unique situation, it is advisable to discuss different options with your dentist.

How to Develop a Body Neutral Mindset

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Body Neutrality

Have you ever considered that the way you see your body can affect the way you view the world? When we see ourselves in a negative light, that often translates to how we view our opportunities, social life, and more. If you find yourself having negative thoughts about yourself, you’re not alone. In fact, roughly one-third of people feel anxious or depressed about their bodies.

Learning to develop a body-neutral mindset can improve the way you see yourself and the world around you. However, it’s important to keep in mind that viewing yourself in a negative way probably took years to master, so it won’t be easy letting go of the habit. To keep yourself motivated, consider setting goals with a friend or adopting a pet to help boost your mood when you get discouraged. 

Body Neutrality: What is it?

Body neutrality is the act of viewing your body based on the ways it serves you, rather than the way it looks. With a body neutral mindset, instead of looking at your arms and saying “I love my arms, despite the fact that they aren’t as toned as they used to be,” you can look at yourself and think, “I love my arms because they help me cook, and cooking is my favorite thing to do.”

How to Develop Body Neutral Views

Overcoming negative feelings toward your body can take time and a lot of effort. Because of this, be careful not to criticize yourself for not doing so perfectly. There will be times you fall back into old habits, but it’s the choices you make after messing up that make the biggest difference.

1. Listen to Your Body’s Needs

Whether you’re one of the 57% of Medicare beneficiaries who suffers from high blood pressure or you’re out running marathons every weekend, listening to your body can help you develop greater compassion for what it can do. It can be tempting to feel the urge to work out in order to work off the calories you just ate, but if your body doesn’t feel well, you shouldn’t push yourself to do so.

Instead, practice listening to your body’s needs. When you feel the urge to get up and move, do so. When your body is craving a certain food, satisfy that desire without thinking about how the food will impact your weight.

2. Avoid Body Talk

Talking about your body (or anyone else’s) will only drive you to think about its physical appearance or inability to function in a way someone else’s can. To really establish a body neutral mindset, avoid participating in conversations focused only on the element of physical appearance.

3. Repeat Body-Neutral Affirmations

Repeating affirmations can help develop muscle memory in the brain that can be exercised when faced with a tough decision (like running another mile even if your body says it’s done for the day).

Print out the affirmation cards linked to below and hang them on your bathroom mirror so you see them often!

Printable Affirmation Cards

Printable Affirmation Cards

Developing a strong body-neutral mindset takes time and patience, but it’s not impossible. Taking the time and putting forth the effort to change the way you view yourself can help you stop being so hard on yourself and start living your life for yourself, rather than for what other people expect of you or your physical appearance.

Find Your “Relaxing Place” (It could be the smartest thing you do this year!)

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Relaxation QuoteGreat Quote About Relaxation

My weekdays are incredibly busy – so much moving, thinking, and schedule-busting I must sometimes look like a bumble bee going from flower to flower. And, frankly, I couldn’t be more  grateful. One of the greatest blessings of my life is being able to watch three grandbabies when their parents are at work.

I might mention the fact that they’re currently 1, 2, and 4.

Buzzzzzzzzzzz from flower to flower…

I’m also an avid cook, voracious old movie fan, love flower gardening, am an avid reader, and web publisher with a food blog, old Hollywood blog, cat blog, Kentucky travel blog, and (obliviously) a self help blog! Obviously, my grandbabies always come first, but suffice to say I stay busy on weekends, before and after they arrive, and when they’re napping.

After cooking and eating supper, cleaning up the kitchen, taking my shower, and putting on so much girly smelling lotion that I smell like the flowers I bounce around, I glide into my favorite den chair and…. ahhhhhhhhhh! Two things can be true – you can be completely in love with what you do from 8:00 to 6:00 AND be completely in love with the stillness from 6:00 to bedtime.

“It is nice finding that place where you can just go and relax.” ~Moises Arias

My den chair represents relaxation to me and, after reading the wonderful quote above by Moises Arias, I’ve begun calling it my relaxing place. The mind stays active (most of the time anyway) when I’m in my relaxing place but the body takes the opportunity to simply relax and unwind. I sip hot tea, watch tv with my husband, catch up on Twitter (my old Hollywood Twitter page is so fun I always love seeing what people have to say!).

I find that this period of time to be fun, enjoyable, relaxing, and in many ways healing. The body can go through a lot during a busy day, I’m convinced relaxing times such as this give your body time to catch its breath, unwind, and kind of get in touch with life.

Sounds as flowery as I smell after a shower, but sometimes flowery words can also do a body good!

Carving out a period of relaxation in your relaxing place each evening also helps with sleep. If you try to go instantly from busy mode to sleep mode, your body and mind are going to be too stunned to cooperate! You have to give them time to rewind… to change the pace from day to night. Trust me, it works miracles.

An extra benefit of having your own special relaxing place and relaxing time is that it gives you something to look forward to. A few days ago, even though (unfortunately!) none of my precious grandbabies were here, I stayed busy from around 9:00 to 4:00 –  packing up Christmas, boxing, cleaning, doing maintenance on my blogs, catching up on e-mail, etc. Several times throughout the day, I’d think about my relaxing place, my hot tea, tv and conversation with my husband, and every single glorious ahhhhhhh that comes with the evening. It gave me something to look forward to through all the business and it was glorious.

I often sign my Self Help Daily posts with the words, “Make each moment count double,” but today, I have a different sign off in mind….

Make each relaxing moment count triple! ~ Joi