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How to Feel Better About Growing Older: Your Story Isn’t Over, It’s Just Getting Good!

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How to feel happier about aging

Live. Love. Laugh… Then Laugh a Little More!

First of all, allow me to say that if you’re feeling unhappy, sad, or in any way negative about growing older or looking older, there’s nothing wrong with that! We feel how we feel and we are entitled to these feelings. So when I try to make you feel happier, I am not (in any way) suggesting you are wrong to feel sad or unhappy. I just want you to be happy – I like your smile.

The loss of youth, a youthful appearance, and of being able to do all we once did can be unsettling. In fact, isn’t it the last two things that get to us the most? I don’t know about you, but the number doesn’t bother me… even when I hit the fifties, I didn’t mind the number. I mean a number is just that… a number. I do mind not being able to walk as far or jog like I used to. I mind not being able to eat certain foods or eat late into the evening like I once did.

And boy oh boy, did I mind the peculiar things that began to happen on my arms (there used to be more tone and definition, if memory serves!), face, and (Lord have mercy) neck.

Seriously… why does the neck turn on a person so quickly?! The one body part it’s almost impossible to cover, camouflage, or paint?!?

We all have moments, don’t we? I almost never stress over appearance, I do my nails, spritz on my perfume, fluff my curls, apply makeup, ask my neck, “Why, though?” and get on with life. I have always (even as a teenager) cared 100 percent more about what was inside a person more than what was outside, including myself.

Whether it’s me or someone else, I am infinitely attracted to a great sense of humor, a love of life, a non-judgmental attitude, and a personality that draws you in its direction. We live in a world that focuses entirely too much on appearance (thanks a lot social media, selfies, and fad diets). How much better would it be if we praised personalities, compassion, being well-read, etc.

NOTHING in the world wrong with wanting to be healthy, look your best, and feel your best – but what’s going on INSIDE is so much more important and I’m willing to die on that hill.

If you’re reading this, odds are you’re feeling a little (or a lot) down about aging. Whether it was something you saw in the mirror (it was the neck, wasn’t it?) or something you weren’t able to do as well as you once were, you may simply have a case of the “sads.”

I want very much to see if I can help you get past the sads and dive head-first into the glads like a puppy in a pile of leaves.

Below are a few tips and tricks of the trade I’ve learned in the fabulous fifties (they really are fabulous in many ways):

  1. Keep a sense of humor – it will serve you well! I’ve listed this first for a reason – I think it may just be the most important one. Having a sense of humor and being able to see the humor in most situations is vital throughout life, but never more so than in the golden years (50-100+).  When you’re laughing, you aren’t ignoring things that bother or bug you (more about those in a minute), you’re simply letting them know you will NOT be brought down by them. You will NOT allow them to trample on your joy or let the air out of your happiness. Laughing doesn’t just feel good, it is healthy for your body and mind. I highly, highly, highly recommend watching The Golden Girls and (if colorful language doesn’t offend you) the Grumpy Old Men movies. They’re hilarious and will absolutely remind you to laugh. The Golden Girls could actually be prescribed therapy for us women who are growing older. They wear it so well and have so much fun with life, it reminds us that we can too!
  2. Eat right, sleep right, and keep your doctor’s appointments. I want to see you happy, but I also want to see you healthy. Some people get a certain age and they do all they can to avoid doctors. Horrible idea! Getting a great checkup could make a world of difference in how you feel. So very often, someone feels “off” or “not quite themselves” and bloodwork shows that all they need is a little more Vitamin D or Iron. Both of these make a whole world of difference in how you feel.  I’ve also found that Magnesium is something else that helps a great deal. Be sure to ask your doctor about each of these. Also, be sure you’re eating right and getting enough sleep. Both are vital to looking and feeling your best.
  3. Address those things that bug you! If you don’t like something about yourself (weight, hair, skin… whatever), research ways to improve it and get to work. Once you start working on something, you feel instantly better – long before you see even a hint of improvement, you feel a world better.
  4. Don’t focus on what LEFT… focus on what REMAINS. If you’ve suffered a loss in relationships, family member, health, a pet, home, business, or you feel like you’ve lost a piece of yourself, try very hard not to focus too much energy on what you have lost (or even perceive that you’ve lost). Focus, instead, on what or who remains. It’s a trick many use when dealing with an empty nest. They go from focusing on the child or children who had the audacity to leave the nest (how dare they grow up?!) and they focus on who and/or what remains. When you feel every bit of your age, try to switch your focus to the fact that you’re still bright, still funny, and (on some days) even downright sassy. Don’t spend too much time looking at those gray hairs… look, instead, at how your eyes still sparkle. It sounds simple, but it is absolutely therapeutic. Focus on what remains. Focus on what remains. Focus on what remains.
  5. Do not look to the future with fear or sadness, look instead at the life you’ve lived with awe and gladness! Think of the love, the laughs, the things you’ve seen, and the things you’ve done. Your life is a wonderful story and it is in NO WAY over yet! Heck, the best chapters may still lie ahead.

I don’t want to keep you much longer, I want you to get out there and enjoy your wonderful life, but I’ll just leave you with this. The next time you’re thinking anything like…

  • “I can’t do this, I’m too old…”
  • “I will never be okay with how I look..”
  • “What is with these creaking knees?”

… I want you to think back on your life. I want you to name times when you were your own hero.  Did you overcome cancer, a gallbladder operation, an especially bad car wreck, or a scary trip to the emergency room? Have you had to say goodbye (for now!) to your mom, dad, husband, wife, or other loved one at a funeral home? Did you have a dream home you had to drive away from… or close a business you worked half your life for? Think of the times you’ve had to step up, be tougher than you ever thought possible, and come walking out of the rubble… maybe even limping at first. Now tell yourself, “I’ve lived through the worst. This will be a cakewalk.”

Be your own hero. Hey, you’ve done it before… you’re good at this!

Make each moment count double and stay in the fight! ~ Joi (“Joy”)

How to feel happier about aging

Your Story Isn’t Over… It’s Just Getting Good!

10 Surprising Ways to Improve WorkPerformance

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Good information is Powerful!

Spending plenty of hours at work does not equate to effectiveness. In most scenarios, everyone has the skill and talents to produce at efficient levels in their various jobs, but one thing is lacking- productivity. 

According to research by Udemy, 54% of all workers are underperforming, and 20% are yet to clinch significant career growth. Why? Because they lack productivity, discipline, ability to eliminate distractions, and ways to improve their performance. 

Work performance indicates how well you do a job, task, or responsibility. It involves core self-evaluations (CSE) to assess your locus of control, self-efficacy, esteem, neuroticism, and the success of your work life. Here are ten surprising ways to improve your work performance and hit your career growth targets. 

Begin With Clear Goals And Plans 

Succeeding at work requires the right mindset to view each day as a masterpiece. To become more productive, begin your day by setting work goals and plans to achieve them. Ensure it is realistic under your set time frame and follow up with unique plans. 

Always consider your unique selling points and weaknesses from the previous day and improve the next day. Does social media distract your work? Do you spend more time chatting away during break or lose focus quickly? Start your day by making precise evaluations and tailored plans to improve performance. Furthermore, divide your objectives into tiny bits and review them consistently throughout the day. 

Eliminate Distractions 

Interruptions are one of the most significant threats to work performance. Let’s face it: the social media notifications, news, and media are exciting but a big distraction to your efficiency at work. More problems can arrive when you do the right thing at the wrong time. You’re not alone. A neuroscience study asserts that the human brain can focus on tasks for two hours, after which it needs a 20–30-minute break. 

It’s natural to desire something else off work, but now you’ve set clear goals, be disciplined enough to sidetrack distractions. Begin by putting your smartphone on no-disturb mode, working in a quiet environment, rewarding yourself after set milestones, and including short breaks between work. 

Prioritize Good Health 

Having a sound body and mind is vital to improving work performance. Start by learning different wellness at work lifestyles for better efficiency. In most scenarios, workers are usually engrossed with their job without having time off for personal health and grooming. Despite having tight schedules, you need to take some time off for your health’s sake. 

Begin by going to the gym at least once every week. Trek or cycle to work if feasible, reduce excessive consumption of sugary drinks and snacks during the day, and eat healthily. Socialize with coworkers to improve mental health. You can also engage in mind exercises by reflecting on your goals in life which helps to refresh and enhance your performance for the subsequent work periods. 

Quit Multitasking 

Understandably, they are times when workload exceeds allocated time. This scenario is prevalent in busy workplaces; for example, in hospitals, it is not abnormal for a junior doctor to attend to multiple records and patients and answer different queries due to the looming number in wait. 

You may assume that productivity means doing multiple tasks per time, but you’re affecting your output and job quality. According to research, multitasking can hinder productivity by as high as 40%. 

Instead of handling extra work per time, prioritize important ones and deal with them first. It’s okay to decline additional work that may interfere with your job. Work on time management and focus, and eventually, you realize more success per time.

Take Breaks 

Mental exhaustion at work is real. It is normal to feel overwhelmed with plenty of tasks on your table, lack the motivation to succeed at goals, and burn out from the long working hours. If you experience any of these, take breaks to improve your work performance. 

Your timeout can be a short coffee break, a small chat with colleagues, or even a vacation. Visiting the gym, doing some yoga, or hanging out with family and friends are also creative ways to take breaks. Do anything acceptable off the rigors of your job to refresh your mind and body.

Practice Effective Time Management 

Time can be a resourceful factor for assessing productivity. For example, the amount of work you do per hour reflects your performance. Many workers have talent and know what to do but waste time at tasks due to a lack of motivation or insensitivity to deadlines. But this can change. 

If you’re consistently not hitting your realistic work targets, learn time management skills to become more efficient. Begin with planning each task with an allocated time, and minimize time-wasting opportunities like social media or unnecessary small chats with coworkers. There are also applications like Pomodoro, which help to sensitize your mind to deadlines. 

Complete Each Work You Start 

No matter how appealing a new task is or boring your current one is, you should always complete every work you start. Doing the opposite can be self-appealing at the moment because you’re doing the one that makes you happy. But this act creates a loop of delayed problems that’ll eventually danger performance. You can start by completing each task before a new one. Add more time to ensure the present one is on your schedule. Remember to prioritize workloads and concentrate on one at a time.

Be Early To Work 

Do you want to skyrocket your performance levels? Then take responsibility and be early to work. Form the habit of starting your job earlier than usual. Punctuality helps you to be accountable, reliable, and more productive. Being early also helps you tackle huge workloads and minimize exhaustion. You can start being punctual by planning your day, setting alarms, and conditioning your mind to be better each day. 

Assess Your Performance Regularly 

Self and external work assessment is essential to discover areas to improve your work performance. Learn to ask for constructive feedback on tasks you finish each time. Begin by asking your superiors or coworkers about the quality of your work. They’d often leave a compliment and, at other times, reveal areas to improve. Be happy to accept criticism as it is the only way to grow and improve your work performance.

New Habits, New Years Resolutions, and a New Way of Looking at Both

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Good habits are worth being fanatical about. -John Irving

“Good habits are worth being fanatical about.” ~ John Irving

I recently went down the rabbit hole-searching everything I could get my eyes on about new habits. Not to be confused with breaking old habits.. presumably bad since one wants to break their legs! That’s a whole other subject. I wanted to research the daylights out of new habits and I did just that.

I sought out information, opinions, quotes, graphs, and even infographics about new habits…

  • how they form
  • how long they take to become almost “automatic”
  • what gets in the way of forming positive new habits
  • how to set yourself up for success with your new habits
  • etc etc etc!

What got me on this kick? The first thought I entertained about New Years Resolutions. I happened to be thinking about getting yoga back into my life. Long story, short… For over 20 years, I did yoga daily for at least 30 minutes, usually more. Then I developed a hiatal hernia and quickly learned (the hard way) that many yoga poses and hernias do NOT play well together. I just stopped doing yoga altogether instead of wisely ditching the problematic poses and continuing with the rest.

What can I say… the fear of aggravating the hernia was greater than my common sense. Fear always, always, always trumps common sense when you let it.

Recently, I researched the subject and found that doctors, chiropractors, physical therapists, and other experts actually believe certain poses not only won’t hurt a hiatal hernia but may actually help by strengthening the region. So I began doing some poses that don’t involve rousing the sleeping beast (Lady Hernia) and fell in love with yoga all over again.

It’s been hard to incorporate it into my life, which is odd because it used to be as much of a habit as brushing my teeth. I found that some poses that I used to be able to easily hold for the count of 45 seconds made me as wobbly as a newborn colt after a mere 5 seconds. I thanked God, above, at that moment for making me a hardheaded gal who isn’t easily discouraged. Combined with always being up for a good challenge, I didn’t get discouraged (although it would have been easy to). I simply thought, “I’m making it a resolution to do at least 15 minutes of yoga each day… then build from there.”

Initially, I was thinking about this being a 2022 resolution, but then I thought, “Why wait?!”

I’ve been doing carefully selected yoga poses for a few weeks and can already hold most of them twice as long as when I restarted. Hey, that’s something!

I knew (from previous readings) that most people agree that it takes around 3 weeks to build a new habit successfully. So, with that reasoning in hand, it occurred to me – wouldn’t right NOW be the time to start thinking about New Year’s Resolutions, as opposed to New Year’s Eve or New Year’s Day? If we start trying to form positive, healthy, new habits now, by the time the new year rolls around, we will have an absolutely beautiful head start.

Even if we only tackle one of our resolutions right now, if we make it a daily habit, it’ll free up more time and energy for other habits.

It also give us a healthy dose of much-needed confidence!

Make each moment count double! ~ Joi (“Joy”)


Happiness and Security When You Are Financially Strong

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Rainy Day Fund Graphic

Financial stability offers long-reaching advantages for our general health and well-being that go far beyond the capacity to pay bills promptly. We shall define financial stability and discuss how it might influence your life in the sections that follow.

What Exactly Is Financial Freedom?

Once you are financially secure, you are confident in your financial condition. You don’t have to worry about paying your expenses since you know you’ll have enough money. You are debt-free, have funds set aside for future objectives, and have enough savings to handle emergencies.

Achieving Financial Stability

Financial stability has a variety of rewards but it takes hard effort, determination, and intentionality (as well as some backtracking) to achieve. Whatever stage of your financial path you are in, here are a few tips to help you improve your financial health.

Spend Less Than What You Earn

Although it may appear to be a straightforward guideline, many individuals struggle with it. It’s incredibly easy to waste money on items we don’t require. Nevertheless, living under your means is critical for long-term financial stability. You can’t expect to increase your savings if you routinely squander all of your income or more than you make.

Budgeting

Budgeting is a crucial step to take while attempting to achieve financial stability. After all, if you don’t budget, how will you see where your money goes? How can you establish spending and saving objectives if you don’t recognize where your cash is being spent? Essentially, a budget should always be utilized to create and stick to a plan.

Invest

Investing is the best method to amass riches. Investing may appear to be daunting, but it does not have to be. Select a diverse portfolio (a combination of stocks, cash, bonds, and so on). That is, don’t invest all of your capital into the stock of one business or the shares of five firms in the same sector. Ensure you follow insider buying to invest in the best-performing stocks.

Clear Your Debts

Debt makes achieving financial security difficult. Focus on getting out of debt once you’ve determined how much you should reasonably spend through budgeting. Clear off credit card debt and prevent incurring further debt on your credit cards in the future. Do you have student loans? Pay additional payments to clear them as soon as possible. You could pay off your loans sooner, even if you entered a long-term payment plan. Paying off your debts earlier will save you cash in the long term since you will owe less interest.

Have a Rainy Day Fund

A rainy day fund is a strategy to prepare for the unforeseeable. There’s always the possibility that you’ll lose your employment and have to make do for a while without a regular paycheck. Perhaps you have to make a major auto repair or take an unexpected trip. A rainy day fund will cover part or all of your expenses and help you get through a difficult period. A rainy day fund will also provide you peace of mind by providing you with a backup plan.

The Benefits of Achieving Financial Stability

Now that you know how to get financially secure let’s look at what you stand to gain by putting in the effort.

Stress Reduction and Improved Health

According to a study, money is the top factor influencing people’s stress levels. This is a concern since prolonged stress is not only unpleasant but also fatal. Stress is a significant factor in many serious medical illnesses, including depression, stroke, heart disease, and obesity. By putting in the effort to get your finances in shape, you may extend your life and improve the quality.

Family Stability

It may seem obvious that being financially secure helps you pay bills in time and fulfill the needs of your loved ones, yet are you aware that it also adds to the stability of human relationships and overall family well-being? Marriages and love relationships perform better when financial stress is removed.

More Choices in Life

You have more influence over your lifestyle when you handle your money wisely and plan for the future. Individuals who are perpetually in debt, on the other hand, are captives to their obligations and what the lenders will let them do. Would you like to have the financial cushion required to make a job change? Do you want additional options for your children’s education? Then make modest sacrifices today to empower yourself tomorrow.

Financial freedom is the capacity to enjoy living on your own rules without having to worry about how you’ll cover your next expense. Many people believe that this is an unattainable dream; however, it is very well within your grasp. If you follow the tips outlined above, you will be on your way to financial stability.

Tips for Coping with a Hiatal Hernia or Problems with Sluggish Digestion

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Hiatal Hernia Tips

Eat Slowly if You Have a Hiatal Hernia!

I’ve written about coping with a hiatal hernia before on Self Help Daily (I’ll link to each of the articles below this one) and as I find new things that help me with my own hiatal hernia, I’m sure I’ll be writing more.

As I often say with anything that involves health issues, the tips and advice are only for those who know for certain that their problem is a hiatal hernia. If you do not know for sure, please check with your doctor. Asking a professional if you could have a hernia frees you to know that it isn’t something else (which could be worse OR better than having a hiatal hernia) and it gives you a clear path to take to help yourself.

Something else to keep in mind is that everyone’s experience with their hiatal hernia can be very different.  Many suffer from a lot of heartburn with their hiatal hernia. I, however, seldom have heartburn. I do have the frequent feeling that I’m full sooner than I should be, hiccups (usually from eating too fast or not chewing well enough), and… the worst thing, a feeling that food is stuck in my esophagus which leads to pain and, usually, having to “expel” it – and we’ll just leave it at that! No one enjoys talking about upchucking or hearing about it either for that matter.

My hernia also causes me to have more indigestion and to suffer from acid reflux at night. REALLY hate that one!

Most people’s symptoms and experiences with their hiatal hernia aren’t as bad as mine. Heck, a lot of people don’t even know they have one! It all depends on the size, apparently. If you’re one of the ones who has similar symptoms, a few tips for coping that I’ve learned are:

  • don’t lift heavy objects – doing so is asking for a flare up
  • don’t do any activity where you hang upside down
  • don’t eat dense meat, such as steak or chicken
  • bread (all types of bread) often spells trouble
  • eat small meals, frequently, instead of a few large meals

Another simple (and we’re talking painfully simple) trick I’ve learned that has helped me a great deal is this: I chew to the count of 33 with each and every bite. Depending on the size of the bite, sometimes I have to go back to one and start counting again. When this happens, I always remind myself to take smaller bites!

Counting reminds you to slow down and chew. Since I began implementing the tips above along with the “Chew to the Count of 33” trick, I have had incredibly few issues. A while back I had a case of the hiccups and it was entirely my fault. I had forgotten to count to 33 and, basically, must have inhaled the entire waffle fry! The pain and hiccups reminded me to never, ever… under any circumstances forget to count and chew.

It will help you slow down and enjoy your meal if you think of it as an experience to be enjoyed rather than something that has to be done. Sometimes I see people inhaling their food like it’s a chore – “Gotta fill the tank and keep going!” This isn’t a healthy habit for anyone – whether they have a hernia or not. We should look for more times in our day when we can relax and enjoy the moment… I can’t think of a better time than when we’re enjoying a meal, especially if we’re in the company of someone we love.

A quick word about taking longer to eat than everyone else… so what?! It’s much better than having pain or getting hiccups. My family never complains, I think they just take it as a cue to eat slower, themselves.

A Few Other Hiatal Hernia Coping Tips

  • I am not even remotely a doctor, so I can’t explain the whys of it, but drinking incredibly cold drinks often aggravates the problem. Less ice or even drinking room temperature drinks leads to less issues for me.
  • Frequently drinking warm drinks seems to also help the issue.
  • Anything you can do to lessen inflammation will help you. Because of this, cutting back as much as you possibly can on sugar will do you a world of good. Also, researching foods and drinks that naturally reduce inflammation will serve you very well.
  • Anything you add to your diet that aids in digestion will help you. Healthline has an excellent article on foods that improve digestion and, after you’re finished here, I hope you’ll read it. A few of my favorite digestion-helpers (some are on their list) are pickled ginger, crushed pineapple, applesauce, and chia seeds. Again, when choosing foods, keep in mind that harder foods (apples, grapes..) can be problematic for you… find softer alternatives when possible.
  • Keep a food journal (Amazon link to the best one I’ve ever seen)! Whether it’s to keep track of food that causes symptoms or keep track of how well you’re doing cutting back on sugar, a food journal will help you so much. It was journaling my food/symptoms that helped me find the foods that caused problems AND pinpoint the meals that gave me zero issues (such as bacon and eggs, chili, soup, flat burgers…). Food journals have also helped people discover food allergies and intolerances they didn’t know they had. Trust me, food journals are one of the smartest things you can do for your health, you just have to be diligent about keeping up with it!
  • Don’t put too much into a bite at once! A few days ago, my husband took a bite of a big beautiful burger and all I could think was, “I’d be in pain for three hours and in the bathroom for two of them!” When you have a hiatal hernia, overloading it at once is begging for trouble. You’re simply better eating your meat off of bread, your tossed salads one vegetable at a time, etc. Once you begin eating this way, it becomes second nature quickly and the payoff will make you never fall off the bandwagon again.

Finally, I have notice such a huge improvement in my hiatal hernia in the past year and one of the biggest reasons is I lost a little weight. I weigh less now than I have in many, many years and it has helped my hiatal hernia greatly. Carrying less weight around the middle is one of the best things you can do for your hiatal hernia health as well as your overall health.

I’m not trying to be preachy, just trying to help anyone who is in the same boat as me. Whether your hiatal hernia causes similar problems or if you’re one of the ones who suffers mostly from heartburn or reflux, if you could stand to lose even as much as 10 pounds, I’m certain you’ll see a difference.

I, personally, have found that intermittent fasting and cutting way back on sugar and carbs (not all the way out, mind you… just back) has helped me tremendously. On top of my other hiatal hernia issues, I used to frequently wake up chocking on reflux – often it would feel like I couldn’t get a breath. Talk about scary!

I stopped eating at least three hours before I knew I’d be lying down and that took care of waking up chocking on a nightmare. My “cut off” for eating ANYTHING and for drinking anything with calories is 5:30 pm. It is absolutely worth it, trust me. I enjoyed snacking while watching tv in the evening as much as anyone but it simply isn’t worth it.

One other “trick” I did to cut back on empty calories AND cut out inflammatory sugar was switch from sweet tea to drinking tea sweetened with Stevia (something that is naturally anti-inflammatory… win/win).


More About Coping with a Hiatal Hernia:

Tips for Living with a Hiatal Hernia

Learning to Handle Your Hiatal Hernia Naturally

Tips for Controlling Your Hiatal Hernia