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Why Practicing Self-Care Is More Important in Today’s Internet Age + Dos & Don’ts

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Self Care Graphic: Don't forget to unplug!

UnPlugging is a Vital Part of Self-Care

by Nicole McCray

In today’s internet age, feeling run down, overworked, and tired 24/7 is the norm, rather than the exception. Burnout has become the official term used to describe this state of chronic stress and mental exhaustion.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed and emotionally drained and you’ve lost interest and motivation for activities you used to love, there’s a good chance you’re suffering from burnout. Sometimes, just thinking about the word stress makes you feel stressed!

Let’s take a deeper dive into why self-care is more important now than ever, plus some actionable dos and don’ts you can apply to your daily life.

Why Practicing Self-Care is so Important in the Internet Age

Thanks to modern technology and the internet, many of us are working our day jobs plus a side-hustle or two. And while we may be passionate about what we’re doing, practicing self-care often falls to the back burner when we’re always hustling.

On top of that, our phones have become a source of entertainment. They’re full of games, videos, news, and social media. It’s so easy to lose sight of yourself. You feel drained without really knowing why. Emotions pile up and relationships get pushed aside without even realizing it.

In a nutshell, spending so much time on the internet creates a disconnect from one’s feelings, thoughts, and sense of individuality. And when you’re consumed with work day and night, it’s no wonder your mental state begins to shift. There’s just no energy left for you.

If this sounds like you, it’s time for a serious change! When was the last time you treated yourself to dinner and a movie, read a book, or took a long walk in nature? The fact is your mind and body need downtime away from work and the internet to recharge.

Self-care is an investment in yourself. Unplugging for a few hours to connect with others and reconnect with yourself is a necessity, not a luxury. It will recharge and rejuvenate you so that you can be present in your daily life.

The Dos and Don’ts of Self-Care

Self-care isn’t a new concept, but it has certainly become a buzzword in recent years. What does practicing self-care really mean? There’s so much information coming at you all the time, it’s hard to even know where to begin. Here are some tips to guide you down the path of self-care in a healthy way.

Don’t neglect the basics.

Don’t underestimate the value of basic self-care. Eating a healthy meal, getting a quality night’s sleep, exercising, spending time outdoors, and taking a shower every day is essential for your mental and physical health.

But, taking a few minutes to apply the best primer for makeup and foundation, a little concealer, some mascara, and a bit of blush or lip color before you head out the door can have powerful effects on your mood, too. It’s like telling yourself you’re worth it, and nothing is more important than that.

Do practice self-awareness as part of self-care.

You can’t take care of yourself if you don’t know what you need. Building self-awareness means checking in with yourself every day. Are you getting enough sleep, healthy food, and exercise? Are you feeling anxious, sad, or bored? Why?

Remember that you are a dynamic individual. Your needs are constantly changing. Spending some time every day assessing your thoughts and feelings will help you reconnect with yourself and feel cared for.

Don’t use self-care as an excuse to be irresponsible with your money.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with treating yourself once in a while, but don’t use self-care as an excuse to overspend. Taking care of yourself doesn’t require buying something new. 

Avoid using retail therapy as a way to avoid dealing with your relationships, problems, or emotions. And don’t buy something you can’t afford because you think it will make you feel better. Creating a budget and sticking to it will make you feel much better in the long run.

The best things in life are free! You don’t need to blow your paycheck on a fancy dinner out to practice self-care. Journaling, meditation, yoga, tidying up your personal space, great conversations, and practicing gratitude are completely free and excellent examples of self-care.

Do ask for help when you need it.

You can’t do everything yourself and acknowledging that is a huge part of self-care. There’s no shame in enlisting the help of a babysitter, a family member, a friend, or even a therapist if that’s what you need. Many times, your loved ones will appreciate the chance to be there for you.

Don’t forget to unplug.

We’ve already touched on this, but the importance of unplugging regularly can’t be overstated. It’s easy to end a long day with a few hours of mindless scrolling and binge-watching, but that’s not always what’s best for you. 

Comparing yourself to the “perfect” images of influencers or celebrities on TV and the internet is terrible for your self-esteem. And, getting lost in the plethora of depressing news stories coming out every day is also terrible for your mental health. Making a point of unplugging at least one day every week should be a top priority.

And finally, do remember that self-care isn’t one size fits all.

While a rose-scented bubble bath may sound amazing to many, maybe the thought of soaking in the tub until your fingers turn wrinkly just doesn’t appeal to you. That’s ok! Be honest with yourself. If something is supposed to feel good but doesn’t feel good to you, don’t force yourself to do it anyway. You’re unique and your self-care routine should be too!

The Only Way to Reach Our Goals…… Keep Moving!

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Keep Going Graphic

Don’t Even Look Back!

Why in the world do we often fall prey to the same demons time and time again?! I mean, once we gain a little ground on them, wouldn’t you think we’d never go back?  Don’t reasonable people learn from their mistakes and never make the same one ever again?

They absolutely do!  In Fairy Tales.

The problem is, we’re all predisposed to certain pitfalls of life.  Some people are wired to have outrageous mood swings.  They can be laughing and joking one minute and angrily searching out a confrontation the next.  Others (Who….. Me?) are careless and footloose with money, then stare in wide-eyed wonder at the cobwebs in their piggy bank.

Some people procrastinate, seemingly for a living.  They’re so good at putting things off that it’s a wonder they manage to get anything done.  Their opposites are just as amusing, they are so hyper-busy, I’m convinced that they don’t actually fall asleep at night.  I think their family gets annoyed with them and knocks them out.

The bottom line:   All of the bad traits in the world have multiple owners and we have the title to at least one of them.

I can accept that.  I’ve come to expect my bad traits and habits to make themselves known on a daily basis.  It’s a game we’ve played for many years.  Keeps life interesting, I guess.  But what I absolutely can’t stand is when these traits get the better of me and I trip over them – falling into a pit…  A pit that’s all too familiar to me. I spend money the minute it’s in my hand, then wonder why I don’t have any.

I keep doing the same things I’ve been doing, expecting the outcome to be different this time.  Someone once said that habit was “crazy” and this would be me not exactly disagreeing.

In addition to money, I also struggle with consistency in eating healthy. I will go along, beautifully, for about a week and then… TROUBLE in the form of an order of French fries or a tall glamorous drink from Starbucks filled with calories (come to think of it, Starbucks spells doom for me on both fronts, healthy eating AND spending… uh oh, not a happy realization).

So, it’s back to step #1.  Time to start all over again.

The rest of this short, hopefully encouraging, dissertation will include you in the pit with me so watch for I to become we). Don’t worry… I’ll share my Starbucks with you.

We can’t just expect things to happen in life just because we want them to.  If we aren’t proactively pursuing our goals or personal improvements, we aren’t going to gain on them.  And if we let our guard down for just one second…. we’re done.

I don’t particularly like shining a spotlight on my weaknesses.  After all, it kind of goes against the stereotypical, average blogger, right?  Most people online lead you to believe they’re so close to perfection that you should pay them just to speak to them.  Actually, some are looking for ways to charge you just for saying their name.

They photoshop their lives along with their pictures! Was that mean? I apologize… I get that way when I know my fries and I are about to become strangers.

I’m not interested in coming across as perfect.  I’m interested in one thing – helping people, with my very humble efforts, to find the best in themselves and, thereby, getting the most from life.  Which is why I’m writing this post.  I’m giving you what I wish I’d given myself years ago.

If you have goals you are working toward, stop for a minute and ask yourself if you’re still fighting for what you want or if you’re on the verge of a “break” – take it from me, these breaks will break YOU.  Never stop – heck, don’t even slow down.  If you think you’re doing all you can to reach your goal, dig down and give it more.

If, like me, you’re closer to broke than breaking – keep your chin up. Very often in life, it takes that one final discouragement to get our attention and spur us on to success.  How many people do we read about who find their financial success after bankruptcy?

I did actually recently win a battle that I can’t help being kind of proud of. I had a HUGE obsession with chips (corn chips, Doritos, Cheetos, Funyuns…). I’d keep a bag in the kitchen and pretty much eat from it throughout the day. About a month ago, I decided to make a smart switch and began keeping Cheerios (my favorite is the blueberry variety) on hand to snack on during the day.

I lost 5 pounds!

Wherever you are on the road that leads to your goal, don’t stop chugging along.  In fact, pick up the pace!  If you’ve fallen, get up.  If you’re walking, run.  If you’re running… look out, I’m right behind you.

You’ll know it’s me when you smell the blueberry Cheerios! ~ Joi (“Joy”)

Try Something New Every Day: You Never Know Where Your “Amelia” is Hiding!

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Try Something New Every Day GraphicTry Something New Every Day!

Think of a hobby or pastime you love to do – one that brings you great joy. Something you look forward to doing and feel on top of the world while doing it! Maybe it’s watching baseball on tv, cooking, gardening, walking, hiking, collecting Pyrex dishes, watching old movies, golfing, or burning it up on the tennis courts.

Whatever that something special is, it’s such a part of your life it almost feels like recess from the real world!

I’ve always been of the mind that the more interests you have, the more interesting life will be and the cool thing is, the opportunities for new interests are limitless. You can start a new hobby, find a new pastime, or adopt a brand new subject to learn about.

I remember about 12 years ago , I saw an Amelia Earhart special on the History Channel. An interest was greatly sparked and I went down an Amelia Earhart rabbit hole that has led to collecting every article, book, and collectible I can that has anything to do with her! I love looking for new specials about the iconic legend and have even began reading about other aviators (particularly women). On the flip side, there have been other individuals on the History Channel I have followed up on by studying more that didn’t spark any further interest, but there have been more people and subjects who have stuck around and greatly enriched my life.

You just never know when or where you’ll find your Amelia!

Have a great day and, as always, make each moment count double!

~ Joi (“Joy”)

Thoughts from 1917 Time Travel to Teach us Today

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Kleiser Quote

For research and quotes for this very self help blog, I often look at rare, out-of-print books in the public domain. Occasionally one will have a timelessness about it, allowing it to be given new life and a second chance to enlighten and entertain a whole new generation of readers. For book lovers, like myself, this is too exciting to even describe. Books that never die, after all, are the best kind of books and I get a natural high in allowing them to breathe again.

Nine times out of ten, however, they’re simply too out-dated in their terminology, approach, and/or overall message.  However, there’ll often be a passage (sometimes even a whole chapter!) that I’ll use on Self Help Daily.  This allows the author to sort of “Time Travel” into our modern day and find a whole new audience.

Very cool, I think.

Today’s Time-Traveler is one of my VERY favorite authors:  Grenville Kleiser.  Even before I had books as business partners, I collected them for my own personal use.  Mr. Kleiser had his own personal shelf – he still has it….great property, too – a Penthouse shelf.  Thanks to by husband’s ebay skills, I nearly have every word Grenville Kleiser ever wrote.

Also very cool.

In a book published in 1917, INSPIRATION AND IDEALS, Grenville Kleiser wrote an inspirational entry for each day of the year.  Kind of a dated blog in a book.  But he was so much better about being concise and to the point than I could ever hope to be.  I tend to ramble like an 85 year old substitute teacher with purple hair, coffee breath, and sensible shoes.

I was enjoying a reread of this book earlier, picking out quotes for the Quote Collection like they were grapes on a vine.  One of the entries was so perfectly perfect and so brilliantly brilliant that I knew what it had in mind:  It wanted to come back to life in a blog post.

So without further delay…or rambling (See?!  See?!?! Merrily rambling away!), here is the entry as it appeared in 1917.

“To be strong and true;  to be generous in praise and appreciation of others; to impute worthy motives even to enemies; to give without expectation of return; to practice humility, tolerance, and self-restraint; to make the best use of time and opportunity; to keep the mind pure and the judgment charitable; to extend intelligent sympathy to those in distress; to cultivate quietness and non-resistance; to speak little and listen much; to adhere always to a high standard of thought, purpose, and conduct; to grow in grace, goodness, and gratitude;  to seek truth and righteousness; to work, love, pray, and serve daily; to aspire greatly, labor cheerfully, and take God at His word – this is to travel Heavenward.”

Some things really are timeless.

Dealing With Control Freaks

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Control Freak Quote

Quote About Control Freaks

My own personal take on control freaks is this:  Avoid, avoid, avoid, avoid.  Okay, I know… this isn’t always possible.  Sometimes you’re born into the situation, sometimes you marry into the situation, and other times you “inherit” control freaks at school or work.

Like everyone, I’ve been exposed to people who micro-manage (some so much so that it’s more funny than annoying), but they aren’t full-blown control freaks.  They know what would happen to them if they ever headed in that direction.  I’d make their life absolute hell.

Control freaks are those types of people who have the potential to suck the life right out of you. They make everything in life about THEM and, before you realize what has happened, your entire day and night are spent revolved around what THEY want and what THEY enjoy. You see a movie you’d like to see but instead of getting excited, you think, “I wonder if THEY would want to see this.”

Heck, sometimes the control is so strong, you may even think, “I wonder what THEY would say about me wanting to see this movie?!”

What kind of life is that?  Seriously.

The good news is that, like most negative aspects in life, this one can be managed, controlled, and even improved. The first step?? You just took it! When you began reading about the situation and began seeking for a solution, you took the first step. You basically said, “I don’t like this situation and, frankly, I deserve better!”

The second step is to decide whether or not the individual (your own personal control freak) can realistically be confronted. Here’s where it gets tricky. Some control freaks can be reasoned with and the rare (deliciously rare) one will even thank you for pointing out a tendency they were unaware of. Please beware, however, that this type of control freak is extremely, extremely rare. By nature, most will simply want to control the fact that you’re confronting them!

My experience has been that most control freaks don’t believe the problem lies with them whatsoever – it is always, always, always other people who need “fixing,” never them!

One thing to keep in mind if you chose to confront someone about their tendency to try to control others (and situations and, quite honestly, the entire world!) is this – keep your voice calm and your words non-confrontational. If you put them on defense, you will not get anywhere. They’ve trained for this battle their entire life!

If possible, when they come across as controlling, calmly ask them, “What makes you say things like that to me?” or “What would I have to do to make you realize I can _____ by myself?” Many times, when someone is forced to stop and answer a question (as opposed to making a defensive comeback), the lightbulb will go off and they’ll realize, “Hmmm, I LITERALLY just tried to tell another adult how to eat their soup…” (or what to order at a restaurant, how to walk, how to talk, how to breathe, what to think….).

When looking at problems or challenges in life, I’ve always felt that it comes down to two approaches…

  • Change what can be changed.
  • Live with (accept) that which cannot be changed.

If the control freak in your life is one that cannot be avoided and, frankly, deep down you’d never truly WANT to avoid them…. like a spouse, parent, sibling, or child…. and if they refuse to lighten up, the ball is entirely in your court. You can’t do anything with THEM, so you must focus on YOU and YOUR response. It’s your life, after all, and you deserve to live it as you want to live it, not as someone else wants you to.

It’s your soup, by gosh, and if you want to slurp it in the privacy of your own kitchen…. slurp on! If you want to see something on television, watch it. It is your life, after all, and we are all free to live our own lives and NOT have them lived for us.

The next time your control freak tries to control some minute part of your life, point out to them that you will do it your way and allow the chips to fall where they may… and that you will then pick up your own chips! Point out how much freedom this now gives them – they’re free to concentrate on their own chips and leave yours alone!