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Positive Thought

The – Almost – Lost Art of Greeting Cards: A History of Sentimentality 

December 24, 2022 by Joi Leave a Comment

Stay in Contact with Loved Ones with Greeting Cards

 

At one time, greeting cards were commonplace; they were a great way to communicate with acquaintances, friends and family and let them know that you are thinking of them for whatever reason. Nowadays, the use of greeting cards seems to be on the decline, which is a shame. In order to understand this custom and the importance that it holds, you need to go back to the start. Read on to learn more about the history of greeting cards. 

The Origins

In truth, the origin of greeting cards as they appear today is difficult to pinpoint. This is because passing written sentiments to one another can be traced back to the invention of writing. Archaeologists have discovered clay tablets dating back to the Sumerian culture sometime between 3000 and 2000 BC, with what is thought to be words of greeting inscribed upon them. 

There is also similar evidence of well-wishing in ancient Egypt and bronze-age China. The personalized messages were sent with the intention of imparting good luck upon the recipient for the new year and warding off evil spirits. This tradition is still an important part of the Chinese New Year celebrations. 

In Egypt, on the other hand, there further evidence of personalization’s in these greetings. There are named individuals sending their well wishes to other named individuals. However, in contrast to the Chinese tradition, these well wishes do not appear to be designed to ward off evil but simply celebrate the new year. 

The Invention of Paper

Paper was invented around 100 AD in China, and it became the medium of choice for personalized messages as its use travelled along the Silk Road to other cultures. Its use around the New Year continued. This is because, in western cultures, it was used to offer well wishes and good luck for the upcoming harvest year. 

Presents sometimes accompanied the paper in the form of wood carvings or other small handmade trinkets. It was only really around the 14th century in Germany when the first iterations of what society today would recognize as greeting cards were found; they were still solely for the new year. However, at this time, they were reserved almost exclusively for upper classes thanks to their price. 

Greeting Cards & National Holidays

It was then during the 15th century that greeting cards began to diversify. Instead of being limited to well wishes for the new year, they began to be exchanged for other reasons and during other periods. One of the first being the celebration of the feast of St. Valentine. In fact, one of the cards given during this period is considered the oldest Valentine’s love letter written; it was from a woman named Margery Brews to her fiancé in the year 1477.

Despite the fact that greeting cards were diversifying in their purpose and occasion, they were still rather inaccessible to the layperson because of their expense. They were created in low numbers to accommodate this, not like the mass production of greeting cards seen today. They only began to see a rise in their numbers during the mid-19th century. This is simply because the process was mechanized, which made it easier to produce large numbers of greeting cards. 

The mass production of greeting cards came at just the right time. During the same period, postal routes were improved, and postal rates became more affordable, which helped to make the whole sending greeting cards thing more accessible to all members of society. They also continued to vary their use, with cards being produced for a number of occasions. 

The cards themselves also seemed to become more and more elaborately decorated too. Designers were hired to create artwork specifically for the greeting cards. The cards mostly focused on Christmas and the New Year, although Valentine’s cards were still popular too. A lot of greeting card companies began to invest more in the design of their cards. By the 1870s, however, greeting cards encompassed all of the classic holidays that they do today. 

Greetings Cards Today

Between then and now, there has been very little evolution in the industry. There are now more cards than ever that can be sent for any number of reasons, but the buying and sending process remains largely unchanged. One of the biggest greeting card companies in the world was formed in 1910 in Kansas City, America. 

Hallmark today is synonymous with holidays like Christmas. The business prides itself on being wholesome and family-orientated, and thanks to its success, they have diversified beyond greetings cards, having their own television channel and creating movies and generating other content and products. 

However, in recent years, the purchase of greetings cards from traditional retailers has seen a steady decline. The younger generations today seem to be far less interested in sending greeting cards in the traditional manner; the question is, why? Do the younger generations not have the same soft spot for sentimentality?

Truthfully, the rise of the digital era has a lot to answer for in terms of the traditional approach to greeting cards declining. Firstly, social media and mobile phones have meant that you can get in contact with a person directly to deliver your well wishes as opposed to the past when letter writing was the primary form of communication. Today you can reach out directly, which somewhat negates the need for greetings cards. 

There are obviously still young people today who enjoy the sentimentality of sending cards and respect the tradition. However, they don’t tend to approach it in the same way. There are a number of companies today that allow you to choose a card design and fully customize it to your specifications. The company then also sends out the card on your behalf. 

This is perhaps the biggest difference; people today are sending cards without ever having had them in their physical possession first. Cards today are often sent via these companies that act like a proxy. Some people could be under the impression that this adds extra unnecessary steps. But this isn’t the case. 

Ordering, writing out and sending a card online can be done in just a few steps. The convenience is unparalleled. These sites also offer help and advice too. For example, Greenvelope can be used to send the cards themselves, but they also have a number of resources, including tips on what you should write whether you are sending a speedy recovery card, a condolence card or whatever the occasion may be.

Lastly, in addition to being able to send physical cards via the internet, there has also been a rise in the use of e-cards. These cards exist solely in the digital landscape. They can be sent via email or other digital platforms. They were preferred for a while, but they can feel a little more impersonal, and they don’t allow for keepsakes, either.

In Conclusion

Expressing well wishes and giving greetings to friends and family has always been done in one form or another; originally, it was passed along verbally. Then with the invention of writing, it was done this way, regardless of whether you believe that expressing well wishes can help to ward off evil spirits or you simply want to express a sentiment. A greeting card can be an excellent way to do it. The tradition continues to endure; it is simply done in a different way.

Filed Under: Articles by Various Authors, General, Positive Thought, Relationships Tagged With: Relationships

Remember How Free it Felt to Be a Kid? Yeah… Let’s Tap Back into That!

December 5, 2022 by Joi Leave a Comment

Live Free Quote Graphic

Live Free!

I recently caught myself over-fretting about something in particular (a hiatal hernia I have.. very minor but very bothersome). I allowed it to intrude on every single day. I could be having a wonderful, beautiful day with my grandbabies in the yard and my mind would turn to IT…

  • I wonder if I’m lifting too much today.
  • Should I eat more fiber?
  • Should I give up meat?
  • What’s that pain? Is it IT starting to act up?

You know the routine. Give your mental worry wart an inch and she will absolutely take a mile and a half. If you don’t catch yourself, you’ll find that you’re almost like a bird in a cage – and each bar is a worry your mind will not let go of.

Trick is, it doesn’t even have to be a health issue people become “caged by.” It can be weight, growing older, money (many a cage is built by this one alone!), etc.

What’s more, a lot of people build cages made up of bars they take from other people’s lives…

  • Oh man, should he lose weight… why DOES he eat so much?
  • She should absolutely stop dressing like she’s still in her 20s.
  • Why in tarnation does my son listen to that so-called music?!
  • If he wears a mask one more time in this store I’m going to scream.
  • Why do kids like to play video games? I never did!
  • etc etc etc etc…

Left unchecked, a cage is most assuredly built and the builder finds himself or herself caged like a parakeet that can’t taste freedom.

I caught myself one gorgeous afternoon while, ironically, watching a few birds in the tree. I thought of birds I’d seen in a zoo’s “Rain Forest” exhibition once and also in another part of the zoo, in smaller cages. I looked at the birds in front of me and thought, “How wonderful that they’re so FREE!”

At that moment (personally, as a Spiritual person, I believe the Holy Spirit nudged me), I realized that my ridiculous thoughts were caging me and keeping me from truly tasting the freedom I should be feasting on. Since that moment, whenever my mind wants to veer off into the land of “what if”s, I literally say (sometimes out loud, to my cats’ amusement), “No! I’m FREE from that cage!”

Let me tell you, friends, freedom feels beautiful and it is a very addictive feeling.

I’ve also used it in a few other instances, giving sweet FREEDOM to myself in other areas that could become problematic:

  • When I see someone so filled with hate and anger online, instead of fretting over them, I say a quick prayer for them and let it go… again, claiming the “freedom.”
  • When I find myself worrying about something on the world’s stage (of which I have zero control)… well, see above.

One of the things this experience has reminded me of is the feeling we had as children… every day was exciting and filled with wonder. We weren’t weighed down with any of the above nonsense. We were free – children simply aren’t into cage BUILDING… they’re into FLYING FREE.

We could learn a lesson or two from them. In fact, if you’re like me, you often have a word or two you take into a new year as your “focus word” for that year. I already know the word I’ll be carrying into 2023 and I highly recommend you pack it as well… FREEDOM.

Try it, you’ll love it.

This is a very short post and a very quick thought, but I was very anxious to share it with you because it has meant the world to me. In  fact, it has meant experiencing more freedom – and you cannot put a price tag on that. ~ Joi (“Joy”)

Filed Under: Daily Quote, How to Be Happy, Positive Thought, Self Care Tagged With: be free, beat stress, free your mind, quote graphics

Quotes of the Day: Because We Could All Use A Little Dose of Inspiration and Motivation…

November 17, 2022 by Joi Leave a Comment

"Nothing Great was Ever Achieved Without Enthusiasm." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Nothing Great was Ever Achieved Without Enthusiasm.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

A while back I had a feature on the self help blog called “Quotes of the Day.” I’d post a great inspirational or motivational quote, along with a graphic (almost always starring an animal or two… what can I say… I’m a modern day Snow White, completely obsessed with animals).

Life gets pretty busy sometimes, causing us to often pull away from certain routines. Unfortunately, I dropped this one and simply never picked it back up.

Until now!

I was sitting and spending time with my beloved journal/planner this morning and was in the process of writing down my daily morning entries…

  • Bible verse of the day
  • Vocabulary word of the day (sign up at Dictionary.com!)
  • Quote of the day (one I pull from daily reading that inspires or motivates me)

It occurred to me just how much I enjoy having a particularly inspiring or motivating quote to carry around with me throughout the day and I thought of you.

Yes, you!

I want to make sure you have one each day for your pocket, to pull out whenever you need a little company. I will post them as often as possible on Mondays – Fridays, beginning today with a wonderful quote above from Ralph Waldo Emerson. My life is beautifully busy, so I doubt there will EVER be a whole week with “Quotes of the Day,” but I’ll try to get as many done as possible.

Have a wonderful, enthusiastic rest of the week! ~ Joi (“Joy“)

Filed Under: Daily Quote, Positive Thought Tagged With: inspirational quotes, motivational quotes, quote graphic, quote of the day, Ralph Waldo Emerson quote

How to Feel Better About Growing Older: Your Story Isn’t Over, It’s Just Getting Good!

September 29, 2022 by Joi Leave a Comment

How to feel happier about aging

Live. Love. Laugh… Then Laugh a Little More!

First of all, allow me to say that if you’re feeling unhappy, sad, or in any way negative about growing older or looking older, there’s nothing wrong with that! We feel how we feel and we are entitled to these feelings. So when I try to make you feel happier, I am not (in any way) suggesting you are wrong to feel sad or unhappy. I just want you to be happy – I like your smile.

The loss of youth, a youthful appearance, and of being able to do all we once did can be unsettling. In fact, isn’t it the last two things that get to us the most? I don’t know about you, but the number doesn’t bother me… even when I hit the fifties, I didn’t mind the number. I mean a number is just that… a number. I do mind not being able to walk as far or jog like I used to. I mind not being able to eat certain foods or eat late into the evening like I once did.

And boy oh boy, did I mind the peculiar things that began to happen on my arms (there used to be more tone and definition, if memory serves!), face, and (Lord have mercy) neck.

Seriously… why does the neck turn on a person so quickly?! The one body part it’s almost impossible to cover, camouflage, or paint?!?

We all have moments, don’t we? I almost never stress over appearance, I do my nails, spritz on my perfume, fluff my curls, apply makeup, ask my neck, “Why, though?” and get on with life. I have always (even as a teenager) cared 100 percent more about what was inside a person more than what was outside, including myself.

Whether it’s me or someone else, I am infinitely attracted to a great sense of humor, a love of life, a non-judgmental attitude, and a personality that draws you in its direction. We live in a world that focuses entirely too much on appearance (thanks a lot social media, selfies, and fad diets). How much better would it be if we praised personalities, compassion, being well-read, etc.

NOTHING in the world wrong with wanting to be healthy, look your best, and feel your best – but what’s going on INSIDE is so much more important and I’m willing to die on that hill.

If you’re reading this, odds are you’re feeling a little (or a lot) down about aging. Whether it was something you saw in the mirror (it was the neck, wasn’t it?) or something you weren’t able to do as well as you once were, you may simply have a case of the “sads.”

I want very much to see if I can help you get past the sads and dive head-first into the glads like a puppy in a pile of leaves.

Below are a few tips and tricks of the trade I’ve learned in the fabulous fifties (they really are fabulous in many ways):

  1. Keep a sense of humor – it will serve you well! I’ve listed this first for a reason – I think it may just be the most important one. Having a sense of humor and being able to see the humor in most situations is vital throughout life, but never more so than in the golden years (50-100+).  When you’re laughing, you aren’t ignoring things that bother or bug you (more about those in a minute), you’re simply letting them know you will NOT be brought down by them. You will NOT allow them to trample on your joy or let the air out of your happiness. Laughing doesn’t just feel good, it is healthy for your body and mind. I highly, highly, highly recommend watching The Golden Girls and (if colorful language doesn’t offend you) the Grumpy Old Men movies. They’re hilarious and will absolutely remind you to laugh. The Golden Girls could actually be prescribed therapy for us women who are growing older. They wear it so well and have so much fun with life, it reminds us that we can too!
  2. Eat right, sleep right, and keep your doctor’s appointments. I want to see you happy, but I also want to see you healthy. Some people get a certain age and they do all they can to avoid doctors. Horrible idea! Getting a great checkup could make a world of difference in how you feel. So very often, someone feels “off” or “not quite themselves” and bloodwork shows that all they need is a little more Vitamin D or Iron. Both of these make a whole world of difference in how you feel.  I’ve also found that Magnesium is something else that helps a great deal. Be sure to ask your doctor about each of these. Also, be sure you’re eating right and getting enough sleep. Both are vital to looking and feeling your best.
  3. Address those things that bug you! If you don’t like something about yourself (weight, hair, skin… whatever), research ways to improve it and get to work. Once you start working on something, you feel instantly better – long before you see even a hint of improvement, you feel a world better.
  4. Don’t focus on what LEFT… focus on what REMAINS. If you’ve suffered a loss in relationships, family member, health, a pet, home, business, or you feel like you’ve lost a piece of yourself, try very hard not to focus too much energy on what you have lost (or even perceive that you’ve lost). Focus, instead, on what or who remains. It’s a trick many use when dealing with an empty nest. They go from focusing on the child or children who had the audacity to leave the nest (how dare they grow up?!) and they focus on who and/or what remains. When you feel every bit of your age, try to switch your focus to the fact that you’re still bright, still funny, and (on some days) even downright sassy. Don’t spend too much time looking at those gray hairs… look, instead, at how your eyes still sparkle. It sounds simple, but it is absolutely therapeutic. Focus on what remains. Focus on what remains. Focus on what remains.
  5. Do not look to the future with fear or sadness, look instead at the life you’ve lived with awe and gladness! Think of the love, the laughs, the things you’ve seen, and the things you’ve done. Your life is a wonderful story and it is in NO WAY over yet! Heck, the best chapters may still lie ahead.

I don’t want to keep you much longer, I want you to get out there and enjoy your wonderful life, but I’ll just leave you with this. The next time you’re thinking anything like…

  • “I can’t do this, I’m too old…”
  • “I will never be okay with how I look..”
  • “What is with these creaking knees?”

… I want you to think back on your life. I want you to name times when you were your own hero.  Did you overcome cancer, a gallbladder operation, an especially bad car wreck, or a scary trip to the emergency room? Have you had to say goodbye (for now!) to your mom, dad, husband, wife, or other loved one at a funeral home? Did you have a dream home you had to drive away from… or close a business you worked half your life for? Think of the times you’ve had to step up, be tougher than you ever thought possible, and come walking out of the rubble… maybe even limping at first. Now tell yourself, “I’ve lived through the worst. This will be a cakewalk.”

Be your own hero. Hey, you’ve done it before… you’re good at this!

Make each moment count double and stay in the fight! ~ Joi (“Joy”)

How to feel happier about aging

Your Story Isn’t Over… It’s Just Getting Good!

Filed Under: Aging Well, How to Be Happy, Positive Thought, Problem Solving, Self Care Tagged With: growing older gracefully, how to accept growing older, how to be happy about aging

Why Are We So Hard on Ourselves?

January 14, 2022 by Joi Leave a Comment

Self-Compassion

by Sara Kaminski

Lots of people live with a merciless critic in their head who blames them for every single mistake, makes them remember every mishap and relive every embarrassment when they go to sleep, and constantly tells them they are not good enough. Some are always the punchline of every joke they make, even though, deep inside, they know there is nothing funny about diminishing oneself.

But that voice in our head that’s telling us we are not sufficient or acceptable is not something we are born with. It can be the result of adverse childhood experiences or even trauma, as well as other things that happened to us while growing up and becoming who we are now. This is not how it’s supposed to be.

In this article, we’ll discuss the ways in which we are too hard on ourselves, the origin of our inner critic, and the strategies to overcome it.

Recognizing When Your Self-Criticism Went Too Far

To be successful and fulfilled, we need to be realistic about our mistakes and flaws. However, we also need to know when our neutral self-criticism becomes excessively negative self-judgment.

This happens when you beat yourself up over slip-ups that have minimal consequences. For example, when you buy an expired yogurt or when you accidentally break a glass and make a huge deal about it.

A common symptom of being overly harsh on yourself is criticizing yourself even when you have corrected that mistake. The guilt eats you up for simple things like saying someone’s name wrong and apologizing endlessly because you can’t allow yourself to move on.

One of the most dangerous aspects of this problem is interpreting someone’s poor treatment of you as your fault. This can lead to you second-guessing every decision and diminishing your personality. Worse yet, it makes you susceptible to manipulation and emotional abuse.

If you don’t appreciate yourself enough, it’s quite common to see other people’s mistakes as plausible but yours as catastrophic.

Finally, even if you have everything going for you and your life is all sorted out, with this sort of attitude, you can still focus on tiny things that are not perfect and always feel like a failure.

What Is the Root of Your Self-Criticism?

The first place to look when asking yourself about the root of your inner critic is your childhood. If the early caregiver was unreasonably critical of themselves, some of those traits could be projected onto you. Also, if a parent, teacher, or older sibling was controlling, hard to please, disapproving, constantly comparing you to others, this could form your beliefs about yourself and leave scars on your self-esteem. Emotional, physical, verbal, or any kind of abuse in any life stage can contribute to low self-esteem.

Self-criticism is also a part of some cultures. Some people are raised in cultures where this is an effective motivator. This can be particularly true for women in certain patriarchal cultures. Often, this passes from generation to generation, and the parenting style keeps the self-doubt alive.

Modern culture is often blamed for unrealistic beauty standards, so this can play its role, especially in the teenage years.

Replacing Self-Criticism with Self-Compassion

Since this is an issue that usually begins in childhood, we have to emphasize how important it is that parents raise their children in a compassionate environment. It starts with the little things, such as learning to deal with school stress, and spreads out to more complex topics like learning to love oneself.

Things are more complicated for adults, of course. You already have your scars that need healing first so that you can start regaining your confidence.

  • Start by writing down all of your self-deprecating thoughts. Once you have them down, perform a little ritual: destroy that paper. Rip it apart, feed it to the flames, flush it down the toilet. Be as dramatic as you’d like. Let this be a little cathartic act.
  • Then, make a conscious effort to stop comparing yourself to others, especially to the perceived ideas of others presented on social media.
  • Step out of your skin and observe yourself as a child you used to be or as a close friend. What would you say to them when they make a mistake or when they are not perfect? You would probably hug them or comfort them. So give yourself a hug. Comfort yourself.
  • Make time for self-care. Find the activities that make you happy or help you relax. Set aside one day of the week or a couple of hours a day for these activities. You deserve this.
  • Practice mindfulness to be in touch with your feelings and accept them fully.

In Closing

Finally, we can’t overlook how complex and tricky the human brain is. Negative criticism is linked to mental health issues, particularly anxiety and depression. If you feel like you can’t overcome this alone, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Therapists know how to create a non-judgmental and safe environment where you can confide and heal.

Filed Under: Articles by Various Authors, General, Positive Thought Tagged With: self-compassion, self-criticism

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My name is Joi (“Joy”)! I am the animal lover behind Self Help Daily.

To contact me, please do so through e-mail (joitsigers @ gmail.com). Thanks and I look forward to hearing from you! ~ Joi

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