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Self Help
Tips for Surviving the Holiday Season if This Time of Year Is Difficult for You
by Brooke Faulkner
When many people talk about the holidays, they speak with a feeling of warmth and love. They associate this time of year with family and giving. Kids get gifts and winter break; parents get to see their children believe in something magical; and families embrace and feel blessed for their time spent together. Holidays feel nostalgic for many, and this time of year brings back memories of baked cookies, Christmas movies, and cozy mornings with hot cocoa and playing in the snow.
However, plenty of people have a difficult time during the holiday season. Some may feel lonelier during the holidays. Some may have feelings of grief due to the absence of a loved one during this time. Some may not have family, or be estranged from their family. Some may feel ostracized if they are single, without children, or going through a separation. Some may be experiencing financial troubles that are exacerbated during the gift-giving holidays. Some may be struggling to stay sober or battling with their mental health. No matter what your story is, there are tips that can help you survive this difficult time of year.
Get Out of Town
If the holiday season is hard for you, it might be the perfect time for you to get out of town and create new memories away from any triggering people or situations. Travel has a way of helping you feel rejuvenated and can help in increasing your feelings of independence and adventure. Visit some of the most amazing cities in the world — some of which won’t feel like the holiday season in terms of temperature and culture. Even a road trip to a nearby resort or a winter camping weekend can help to remove you from the hard parts of being at home. You have every right to take this time and mold it into whatever you need to help make you feel better.
Create New Traditions
Some of the common traditions that people have can make this time of year worse for people. Even your own traditions can be triggering if you’ve lost someone or been recently separated. Instead of sticking with the traditions that are difficult, create new ones. If you’re feeling especially lonely, spend this time of year visiting shelter dogs or retirement communities to be a source of comfort for others who may be lonely as well. If you recently lost someone, make a new tradition of celebrating them somehow, like making their favorite recipe or watching their favorite holiday movie. Pinpoint the hard parts of the holiday and find ways to make them your own, or replace them altogether.
Plan an Exit Strategy
If you’re worried about something happening during holiday events that will be hard, be sure to plan an exit strategy. Sometimes it’s being around toxic family members, sometimes it’s being around drinks when you’re trying to be sober, and sometimes it’s seeing spouses or families simply enjoying this time of year. Each of those things can lead to heartache, so you are allowed to remove yourself if things get hard. Plan an excuse to get out of an event beforehand in case something happens. It might even be helpful to set the scene and tell people, “I may have to leave early,” or “I may get called into work,” to help make it easier to leave. This will make it less awkward if you need to make a getaway from something that is hard to handle.
Find Something You Enjoy
When this time of year is hard for you, help yourself by finding something about it that you enjoy. Maybe this time of year is hard, but you love the snow, helping others in need, or watching Christmas movies. You might try diving into more snow sports like skiing or snowshoeing to help you with something you enjoy during this time. Not only can it help when things get hard, but exercising in nature can also help with things like occupational burnout or helping to combat seasonal affective disorder.
If you love helping others, you may make this time of year into a tradition of giving by adopting a family or buying gifts for charity. If you can’t think of many things you enjoy, try to find something you haven’t done yet to find the thing about this time of year that you do enjoy.
Be Kind to Yourself
More than anything, it’s important to be kind to yourself during this time of year. Sometimes there’s nothing particularly triggering about the holidays, but things seem to be difficult anyway. This can be due to added stress, being stretched too thin, or spending more time comparing your situation to someone else’s. Be kind to yourself by managing your expectations and making your mental health and self-care a priority. Commit to one holiday party instead of all of them, suggest another family member hosting this year, or stay focused on unplugging from social media altogether. If it’s too hard to take an active part in the holidays, forgive yourself for that. The holidays are hard for many people, and it’s okay if your holiday season doesn’t look like everyone else’s.
Though the holidays are magical for some, others feel the weight of expectations. They are expected to buy a big gift, attend the parties, be around family, and act as though this time of year is a blessing. For some, that’s just not how it feels. It feels heavy and fake. It feels stressful and overwhelming. It feels emotional and difficult. If the holidays are hard for you, rewrite the hard parts. Get out of town, create your own traditions, plan an exit strategy, find something you enjoy, and be kind to yourself. Hold on tight until this time of year has gone by. Until then, utilize some of these tips to help you get through it.
6 Signs That You are Dealing with Acid Reflux
Primarily a problem attributed to a western lifestyle, around 18% to 28% of the US population suffer from occasional to regular bouts of acid reflux, according to studies. Often called indigestion or heartburn, the symptoms can range from mild discomfort to severe chest pain. In the majority of cases, you can treat irregular bouts of acid reflux by simple lifestyle changes. For those who suffer frequent or long-term discomfort, surgery may be the only option.
Cause of Acid Reflux
The medical term for regular acid reflux is gastro-esophageal reflux disease (GERD). As we eat, our food passes through a set of muscles that form a valve at the base of the esophagus (the tube running from throat to stomach). The food then enters the stomach and starts to be broken down by gastric acid. Under certain conditions, such as a weak or leaky valve, this acid can find its way into the esophagus, triggering the uncomfortable symptoms we know as heartburn. If you suffer any of these six signs of acid reflux on a regular basis, you may well have GERD.
- A burning chest pain
- A sour or unpleasant taste in the mouth, caused by the acid
- Difficulty swallowing your food or keeping it down
- Recurring hiccups or niggly cough
- A hoarse voice
- Feeling sick, and uncomfortable bloating
Many people suffer the odd bout of heartburn from time to time. A range of lifestyle issues can be responsible such as spicy foodstuffs, and caffeine or alcoholic drinks (according to this study). Furthermore, stress and anxiety attacks, being overweight, heavy smoking, some over the counter medications, and pregnancy can all trigger the onset of heartburn. In addition, developing a hiatus hernia can bring on the problem.
Lifestyle changes
As previously mentioned, you might just need to make a few lifestyle changes to reduce or stop bouts of acid reflux. Make a note of food and drinks that seem to trigger your heartburn, and try to avoid them. Avoid going to bed on a full stomach, by arranging to eat your evening meal two or three hours before bedtime. Try eating little and often, rather than having two or three big meals. If overweight, start a weight reduction program. There are many community-run weight reduction programs available where people work together to shift those unwanted pounds.
Raise the top of your bed by around 20cm, so your head and chest are higher than your feet, ensuring stomach acid travels down, rather than upwards. Make sure underwear or nightwear is loose fitting around the waist, and cut out, or cut down on the usual suspects of alcohol and tobacco. However, if you’ve been keeping a daily intake diary, and prescribed medicines appear to trigger your heartburn, consult your doctor for a change of medication.
Acid reflux treatment
For very occasional occurrences, a glass of milk or shot of peppermint may be all that’s required to solve mild heartburn. For more stubborn bouts, a good acid reflux treatment can be either bought over the counter or prescribed by a doctor.
Most treatments available in your local pharmacy or supermarket fall under the collective title of antacids and are available in tablet, capsule, sachet, or liquid forms. Antacids work by either neutralizing acid in the stomach or throat, or reducing the amount of acid the stomach produces.
Among the best known are Alka-Seltzer, a large tablet that is dissolved in water, and Gaviscon, a liquid formula that helps line the stomach and holds back acid from entering the esophagus. If you find your antacids are causing constipation or diarrhea, ask your pharmacist for an antacid medication that contains both aluminum and magnesium hydroxide, which should minimize these side effects.
If all else fails, see the doctor
If you’ve tried many antacids without success, then a visit to your local health center should be made. It will allow your doctor to carry out further tests to establish whether the problem is caused purely by acid leaking into the throat, over-production of stomach acid, or something more serious. Your doctor will likely prescribe drugs such as ranitidine, lansoprazole, or omeprazole, which reduce the amount of acid made by the stomach. Failing that, and after further investigations by a specialist, he may well suggest an operation called a laparoscopic fundoplication, which will surgically reduce the stomach’s acid production, and stop your acid reflux
Signs of the Times or….. Just Bad Manners?
I’m a student of people and their behavior. Whether it’s a rude person I encounter online or a sweet, talkative girl in the line Starbucks (with an adorable Canadian accent I could have listened to all day), people fascinate me.
I’ve noticed a few changes lately in temperament. I realize it’s ridiculous to talk in generalities, so let me preface it by saying that these observations don’t mean that EVERYONE (thanks be to God!) is falling victim to these traits.
Just enough people to make it noticeable.
Rudeness
So many people have become so rude and inconsiderate that they’re looking and acting less and less… well… human. How about celebrities, politicians, and others on social media that spout off insensitive opinions that aren’t just ridiculous, they’re downright hurtful? They come across as though they haven’t an ounce of tact or consideration whatsoever.
It’s not just celebs, politicians, or rude people on social media, of course. There are also the rude drivers, shoppers, workers… the list goes on.
Thankfully, kind people still outnumber the jerks. A while back, I mentioned on Twitter that I had the flu and bronchitis (yes… at once.. I’m an overachiever) and I heard from many people wishing me a speedy recovery. Even closer to home, my family went out of their way to make me feel better — checking on me, waiting on me, and showing their love and concern in many ways. In spite of coming close to my germs.
Among all of the “crusty” individuals in the world today, it’s always good to see that plenty of hearts haven’t been hardened.
Selfishness
Another trait that’s becoming rampant is selfishness. Fewer people will go out of their way to help another person than ever. I’ll be the first to say that everyone should try very hard to help themselves, hence the name of my blog: Self Help Daily. But sometimes that’s just not possible. It hurts to see so many people wrapped up in their own world that they can’t even see other people’s needs.
You see it in store and restaurants all the time. A child makes noise (news flash: children do such things!!!) and grown adults within earshot act like they have been personally attacked. Heaven forbid they actually smile at the child and the adults working feverishly to quiet him or her. It’d be a much better look than scowling in their direction every ten seconds.
I also see self-absorption online on a regular basis and, again, social media is making it (in my opinion) more of an epidemic than it it an inconvenience. 20 years ago, it’d would seem so STRANGE for someone to spend upwards of 30 minutes getting “just the right picture of themselves,” then taking said picture (the best of the bunch, of course) and showing it to everyone in their family, all of their friends, and everyone in town.
We’d have thought they were nuts! But today, it’s the norm. Back then, we’d have thought, “They must think they’re pretty cute to want to show themselves off,” but today it’s “normal.”
Well…. supposedly it is.
Selfies do not make individuals selfish or self-oriented, obviously. However, they are a clear indication that our society is more ME-focused than it has ever been before.
Work-a-haulics
Due to the economy, it seems that a lot of people are working themselves into a fevered pitch. They’re trying to do half a million things at once (maybe that explains the cranks). There’s nothing wrong, of course, with pushing yourself to get the most from life. The thing is, very often when you’re pushing yourself, you’re pushing others around you who…well…don’t want to be pushed. When we overestimate all that we can conceivably do, we start handing out our “to do’s” to other people. It’s as though we take our own to do list and tear it into fourths. We know we can’t do all of it, so we hand it out to others – basically creating their to do lists for them. As though they don’t have their own lists!
When we get to that point, it’s either time to barter for favors with them, or realize that we’re spreading ourselves way too thin.
I started thinking about these Human To Do lists when I read about a woman who was furious with her husband for not doing everything she’d left on his “list.” When asked why she thought he didn’t get to them, she said he’d “probably blame it on” the fact that he had two jobs.
Probably!
It may sound like a line from Little House on the Prairie, and for that I apologize, but we should all remind ourselves of the Golden Rule. We should treat others the way we’d want to be treated. No ifs. No ands. No buts. And certainly no butts.
10 Flowers to Boost Your Mood!
A while back, I researched topics that people search for the most in search engines (an in life, if we were to take it a profound step further). How to be happy, how to boost your mood, how to improve a bad mood, and how to feel happier were among the most searched things… pretty much, year after year.
There are, obviously many things you can do to improve your chances of happiness and there are just as many ways to boost your mood.
Thank goodness!
You absolutely do not have to let a bad mood ever win. One of the simplest things you can do is to surround yourself with things that make you happy. Things that make you smile inside/out, as it were. When these happy-triggers also happen to be beautiful (like flowers), it’s a win-win situation. I love having flowers everywhere in my home – literally in every room. They boost the mood, improve the appearance of the room and bring glorious nature inside.
Below is a wonderful infographic from FTD detailing how 10 especially beautiful flowers can boost your mood. Do what I do…. surround yourself with them!
~ Joi
Infographic Credit: FTD