Self Help

The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson (One of my All-Time Favorite Books)

November 20, 2021 by Joi Leave a Comment

One of my favorite authors is Mark Batterson (link to his Amazon profile page where you can find all of his wonderful books.. you can also find them all on my bookshelves, but that’s another story). As a prayer warrior and as someone who proactively seeks to walk daily with God, his books have been absolutely invaluable to me, so it’s my honor to share book reviews of his extraordinary books with you, my extraordinary reader friends!

This particular book, The Circle Maker (Amazon link) was actually the first Mark Batterson book I ever read. Before I was even halfway through the book, I had already gone to Amazon to by my NEXT Mark Batterson book (as well as the prayer journal available for this one… Amazon link).

This fascinating book is full of inspiration and information (impossible to beat a book like that) and, best of all, it will help you take your prayer life to the next level. In a world where we see people with needs all around us, it has never in our lifetimes been more important to pray meaningful, effective, and life-changing prayers. Obviously, we have our own needs we want to be able to pray for effectively as well!

From the Back Cover of The Circle Maker:

From the Back Cover of The Circle Maker

If you aren’t familiar with Mark Batterson’s writing, you will not believe just how humorous and fun his writing is. It’s like sitting down for coffee with the funniest, most energetic, and optimistic friend in your life. This is the type of author you want to read and re-read because (like a favorite old movie) it seems to be EVEN better each time.

I hope you’ll grab a copy of this amazing book and begin your amazing, revived prayer journey right away. With Christmas right around the corner, it would also make an excellent Christmas gift for anyone in your life… the best kind of gift – the one that could benefit your loved one for their entire life.

Find The Circle Maker (Amazon link) on Amazon!

About the Author, Mark Batterson:

Mark Batterson is the lead pastor of National Community Church in Washington, DC. One church with multiple locations, NCC owns and operates Ebenezers Coffeehouse, the Miracle Theatre, and the DC Dream Center. NCC is currently developing a city block into the Capital Turnaround; the 100,000-square-foot space will include an event venue, a child development center, a mixed-use marketplace, and a coworking space. Mark holds a doctor of ministry degree from Regent University and is the New York Times bestselling author of twenty books including The Circle Maker, In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day, Wild Goose Chase, Play the Man, Whisper, and recently released Win the Day. Mark and his wife, Lora, have three children and live on Capitol Hill.

Top 6 Mood-Boosting & Other Health Benefits of Pets

November 15, 2021 by Joi Leave a Comment

The Health and Happiness Benefits of Pets is Extraordinary!

by Nicole McCray

Pets have always been incredible companions for their owners, and although they require a lot of care, pets bring us a lot of joy, too. Many of us feel that pets generate feelings of happiness for us and within our families. The bond and connection between humans and their pets are beneficial and rewarding on both sides.

While you may already know that bringing a pet home will give you joy, but there is so much more to it. Owning a pet can have genuinely positive effects on our physical and mental health, and it goes beyond just helping us be happier.

Did you know that pets who form strong bonds with their owners can become in synch with their tone of voice, gestures, and body language? It aids them in understanding what they are feeling at any given time.

Pet owners aren’t always aware of the multiple effects that pets have on their health. Here are some of the top mental, physical, and emotional health benefits that having a pet can do for you.

Pets Reduce Stress and Blood Pressure

Having a pet can cause stress by having accidents indoors, becoming sick, or destroying your furniture. However, owning a pet also aid in helping to relieve feelings of stress, hypertension, and anxiety. For example, there was a study with children who owned pets that discovered they had much lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol when interacting with their furry companions and creating a decrease in blood pressure.

So, you can effectively reduce your stress and anxiety just by playing with your pet. Even just something like simply stroking your pet’s head will be engaging enough to work on lessening those stress levels. So, the next time you have a rough day or are gone from home for a while, think about providing your pet with some quality time – it’s not only great for them, but it will help you too.

Pets Alleviate Depression

Along with lower stress levels, pets can also help those suffering from clinical depression. You may notice whenever you are feeling blue or down, your pet can help make you smile again, immediately boosting your mood.

The National Institute of Mental Health utilizes animal therapy to help treat depression and other mood disorders because pets have such a positive effect on emotions. In addition, pets remain loyal as companions, so when someone is feeling isolated or withdrawn, their pet will still be there and work to help provide feelings of calm and comfort.

Pets Give Us Healthier Hearts

Heart disease is the leading cause of death in the United States. People with pets, however, are less likely to suffer from a heart attack or risk of stroke. The American Heart Association has performed studies that concluded that owning a pet can reduce the risk of cardiovascular disease.

Owning a pet also increases the likelihood of increasing your physical activity, which leads to being more fit. Most pets require some form of exercise, and if you are actively engaging with your pet, that means you are also getting some exercise. Exercise will help keep your heart healthy, give you more energy and help you maintain a healthy weight.

Pets Help Prevent Allergies

Another unexpected heart benefit from owning a pet is that exposure creates a barrier against having allergies. Millions of people suffer from allergies, and pet dander can be a common trigger for them, but exposure to them earlier in life, such as when you are a child, helps lower your risk for developing them.

A study in Medical News Today associated that children exposed to animals at an early age had a much lower risk of having asthma by the time they started school. The theory behind this is that being around allergens or pathogens will strengthen your immune system and effectively increase your tolerance to allergies.

Pets Promote Better Social Skills and Relationships

It is no surprise that most pet owners have a special connection and bond with their furry friends. Many, if not all of us, usually consider our pets to be more than just a pet, but a member of the family unit. However, that special bond that is created also benefits us with other relationships.

The clinicians at Bond Vet – NYC Animal Hospital said that many adults who had developed previous attachments to animals when they were young tend to have more understanding, empathy, and compassion. In addition, their emotional intuitiveness creates more substantial relationships with people.

Social skills are improved because taking care of animals gives owners a leadership role as caregivers. In addition, taking care of pets leads people to be more involved within their community, helping others and taking on other roles as leaders because it makes them feel good. Even studies have performed that children with autism showed more assertiveness if they lived with a pet.

Pets Help Us Sleep Better

While you may not want to allow your pet to sleep in the bed with you, having it in the bedroom at least can help with the overall quality of your sleep. Pets love to feel secure and comforted, and they like being close to their owners, even when they are sleeping.

Researchers found that pet owners who had their pets in the bed with them or within their bedroom found that they slept better and did not find the pet to be disruptive to their sleep. The feelings of companionship, security, and relaxation offered a better night’s rest for both pet owners and their furry friends.

With all of these tremendous advantages that pets give us, it is easy to see that bringing a pet into the home is more than just helpful to the pet. There is much joy and love to be had, and taking care of your pet creates many wonderful ways that improve your overall health and wellbeing.

Why Practicing Self-Care Is More Important in Today’s Internet Age + Dos & Don’ts

November 14, 2021 by Joi Leave a Comment

UnPlugging is a Vital Part of Self-Care

by Nicole McCray

In today’s internet age, feeling run down, overworked, and tired 24/7 is the norm, rather than the exception. Burnout has become the official term used to describe this state of chronic stress and mental exhaustion.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed and emotionally drained and you’ve lost interest and motivation for activities you used to love, there’s a good chance you’re suffering from burnout. Sometimes, just thinking about the word stress makes you feel stressed!

Let’s take a deeper dive into why self-care is more important now than ever, plus some actionable dos and don’ts you can apply to your daily life.

Why Practicing Self-Care is so Important in the Internet Age

Thanks to modern technology and the internet, many of us are working our day jobs plus a side-hustle or two. And while we may be passionate about what we’re doing, practicing self-care often falls to the back burner when we’re always hustling.

On top of that, our phones have become a source of entertainment. They’re full of games, videos, news, and social media. It’s so easy to lose sight of yourself. You feel drained without really knowing why. Emotions pile up and relationships get pushed aside without even realizing it.

In a nutshell, spending so much time on the internet creates a disconnect from one’s feelings, thoughts, and sense of individuality. And when you’re consumed with work day and night, it’s no wonder your mental state begins to shift. There’s just no energy left for you.

If this sounds like you, it’s time for a serious change! When was the last time you treated yourself to dinner and a movie, read a book, or took a long walk in nature? The fact is your mind and body need downtime away from work and the internet to recharge.

Self-care is an investment in yourself. Unplugging for a few hours to connect with others and reconnect with yourself is a necessity, not a luxury. It will recharge and rejuvenate you so that you can be present in your daily life.

The Dos and Don’ts of Self-Care

Self-care isn’t a new concept, but it has certainly become a buzzword in recent years. What does practicing self-care really mean? There’s so much information coming at you all the time, it’s hard to even know where to begin. Here are some tips to guide you down the path of self-care in a healthy way.

Don’t neglect the basics.

Don’t underestimate the value of basic self-care. Eating a healthy meal, getting a quality night’s sleep, exercising, spending time outdoors, and taking a shower every day is essential for your mental and physical health.

But, taking a few minutes to apply the best primer for makeup and foundation, a little concealer, some mascara, and a bit of blush or lip color before you head out the door can have powerful effects on your mood, too. It’s like telling yourself you’re worth it, and nothing is more important than that.

Do practice self-awareness as part of self-care.

You can’t take care of yourself if you don’t know what you need. Building self-awareness means checking in with yourself every day. Are you getting enough sleep, healthy food, and exercise? Are you feeling anxious, sad, or bored? Why?

Remember that you are a dynamic individual. Your needs are constantly changing. Spending some time every day assessing your thoughts and feelings will help you reconnect with yourself and feel cared for.

Don’t use self-care as an excuse to be irresponsible with your money.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with treating yourself once in a while, but don’t use self-care as an excuse to overspend. Taking care of yourself doesn’t require buying something new.

Avoid using retail therapy as a way to avoid dealing with your relationships, problems, or emotions. And don’t buy something you can’t afford because you think it will make you feel better. Creating a budget and sticking to it will make you feel much better in the long run.

The best things in life are free! You don’t need to blow your paycheck on a fancy dinner out to practice self-care. Journaling, meditation, yoga, tidying up your personal space, great conversations, and practicing gratitude are completely free and excellent examples of self-care.

Do ask for help when you need it.

You can’t do everything yourself and acknowledging that is a huge part of self-care. There’s no shame in enlisting the help of a babysitter, a family member, a friend, or even a therapist if that’s what you need. Many times, your loved ones will appreciate the chance to be there for you.

Don’t forget to unplug.

We’ve already touched on this, but the importance of unplugging regularly can’t be overstated. It’s easy to end a long day with a few hours of mindless scrolling and binge-watching, but that’s not always what’s best for you.

Comparing yourself to the “perfect” images of influencers or celebrities on TV and the internet is terrible for your self-esteem. And, getting lost in the plethora of depressing news stories coming out every day is also terrible for your mental health. Making a point of unplugging at least one day every week should be a top priority.

And finally, do remember that self-care isn’t one size fits all.

While a rose-scented bubble bath may sound amazing to many, maybe the thought of soaking in the tub until your fingers turn wrinkly just doesn’t appeal to you. That’s ok! Be honest with yourself. If something is supposed to feel good but doesn’t feel good to you, don’t force yourself to do it anyway. You’re unique and your self-care routine should be too!

Are You Getting Enough Sleep? If not, it Will Catch Up with You!

November 12, 2021 by Joi Leave a Comment

Are You Getting Enough Sleep?

Study after study tells us how physically and emotionally damaging lack of sleep is. To compound matters, more studies are coming now proving that not getting enough sleep is also causing significant mental impairment in individuals, so add mentally damaging to physically and emotionally damaging.

I don’t know about you, but just one of these three makes me determined to getting more sleep – the three combining efforts (like a frightening tag team) makes me want to go to bed right now!

The hard cold truth is that, apparently, most of us are actually sleep deprived. We’re filling out our to do lists so ambitiously that we neglect to figure in time for sleep.

Obviously we’re not doing ourselves any favors by skimping on sleep. In fact, we’re doing ourselves a whole world of harm. The American Academy of Sleep Medicine recommends that most of us get between 7 and 8 hours of sleep each night. Sleeping less than this (on a regular basis) is associated with:

Diabetes
Stroke
Hypertension
Cardiovascular Disease
A Shorter Life Span
Weight Problems

A few tips from experts on improving your sleep:

Establish a relaxing bedtime routine. Whether it’s reading before bed, taking a bath or shower, or watching a little television – having a routine you associate with “winding down” helps significantly (this is also very, very true with kids).
Try to keep regular hours for sleeping and waking. I’ve started making myself follow the weekday routine on the weekends and it has helped my sleep greatly.
Get enough activity during the day but not too close to bedtime. Too much activity right before lying down to sleep spells disaster. I used to do a few regular “chores” (cleaning the litter box, loading the dishwasher…) right before lying down but found that doing them earlier in the evening helps me fall asleep faster.
Essential Oils – Lavender, in particular, is wonderful for helping the mind and body wind down. I love using Downy Infusions Lavender Vanilla on my bed linens and gown – it sets the stage for very sweet sleep. A lot of people also keep a small bottle of lavender essential oil (Amazon link) by their bed to simply smell right before lying down. There’s just something relaxing and magical about lavender that helps most of us fall asleep faster.
Be sure your vitamin levels are within a healthy range. If your magnesium, for example is low, it will VERY MUCH impact your sleep.
Don’t even think about touching that phone or iPad! I know, I know, it’s easy to take one last look at Twitter, your e-mail, or Instagram, but they’ll be there in the morning!

Sweet dreams! ~ Joi

The Only Way to Reach Our Goals…… Keep Moving!

November 11, 2021 by Joi Leave a Comment

Don’t Even Look Back!

Why in the world do we often fall prey to the same demons time and time again?! I mean, once we gain a little ground on them, wouldn’t you think we’d never go back? Don’t reasonable people learn from their mistakes and never make the same one ever again?

They absolutely do! In Fairy Tales.

The problem is, we’re all predisposed to certain pitfalls of life. Some people are wired to have outrageous mood swings. They can be laughing and joking one minute and angrily searching out a confrontation the next. Others (Who….. Me?) are careless and footloose with money, then stare in wide-eyed wonder at the cobwebs in their piggy bank.

Some people procrastinate, seemingly for a living. They’re so good at putting things off that it’s a wonder they manage to get anything done. Their opposites are just as amusing, they are so hyper-busy, I’m convinced that they don’t actually fall asleep at night. I think their family gets annoyed with them and knocks them out.

The bottom line: All of the bad traits in the world have multiple owners and we have the title to at least one of them.

I can accept that. I’ve come to expect my bad traits and habits to make themselves known on a daily basis. It’s a game we’ve played for many years. Keeps life interesting, I guess. But what I absolutely can’t stand is when these traits get the better of me and I trip over them – falling into a pit… A pit that’s all too familiar to me. I spend money the minute it’s in my hand, then wonder why I don’t have any.

I keep doing the same things I’ve been doing, expecting the outcome to be different this time. Someone once said that habit was “crazy” and this would be me not exactly disagreeing.

In addition to money, I also struggle with consistency in eating healthy. I will go along, beautifully, for about a week and then… TROUBLE in the form of an order of French fries or a tall glamorous drink from Starbucks filled with calories (come to think of it, Starbucks spells doom for me on both fronts, healthy eating AND spending… uh oh, not a happy realization).

So, it’s back to step #1. Time to start all over again.

The rest of this short, hopefully encouraging, dissertation will include you in the pit with me so watch for I to become we). Don’t worry… I’ll share my Starbucks with you.

We can’t just expect things to happen in life just because we want them to. If we aren’t proactively pursuing our goals or personal improvements, we aren’t going to gain on them. And if we let our guard down for just one second…. we’re done.

I don’t particularly like shining a spotlight on my weaknesses. After all, it kind of goes against the stereotypical, average blogger, right? Most people online lead you to believe they’re so close to perfection that you should pay them just to speak to them. Actually, some are looking for ways to charge you just for saying their name.

They photoshop their lives along with their pictures! Was that mean? I apologize… I get that way when I know my fries and I are about to become strangers.

I’m not interested in coming across as perfect. I’m interested in one thing – helping people, with my very humble efforts, to find the best in themselves and, thereby, getting the most from life. Which is why I’m writing this post. I’m giving you what I wish I’d given myself years ago.

If you have goals you are working toward, stop for a minute and ask yourself if you’re still fighting for what you want or if you’re on the verge of a “break” – take it from me, these breaks will break YOU. Never stop – heck, don’t even slow down. If you think you’re doing all you can to reach your goal, dig down and give it more.

If, like me, you’re closer to broke than breaking – keep your chin up. Very often in life, it takes that one final discouragement to get our attention and spur us on to success. How many people do we read about who find their financial success after bankruptcy?

I did actually recently win a battle that I can’t help being kind of proud of. I had a HUGE obsession with chips (corn chips, Doritos, Cheetos, Funyuns…). I’d keep a bag in the kitchen and pretty much eat from it throughout the day. About a month ago, I decided to make a smart switch and began keeping Cheerios (my favorite is the blueberry variety) on hand to snack on during the day.

I lost 5 pounds!

Wherever you are on the road that leads to your goal, don’t stop chugging along. In fact, pick up the pace! If you’ve fallen, get up. If you’re walking, run. If you’re running… look out, I’m right behind you.

You’ll know it’s me when you smell the blueberry Cheerios! ~ Joi (“Joy”)