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How to Feel Better About Growing Older: Your Story Isn’t Over, It’s Just Getting Good!

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How to feel happier about aging

Live. Love. Laugh… Then Laugh a Little More!

First of all, allow me to say that if you’re feeling unhappy, sad, or in any way negative about growing older or looking older, there’s nothing wrong with that! We feel how we feel and we are entitled to these feelings. So when I try to make you feel happier, I am not (in any way) suggesting you are wrong to feel sad or unhappy. I just want you to be happy – I like your smile.

The loss of youth, a youthful appearance, and of being able to do all we once did can be unsettling. In fact, isn’t it the last two things that get to us the most? I don’t know about you, but the number doesn’t bother me… even when I hit the fifties, I didn’t mind the number. I mean a number is just that… a number. I do mind not being able to walk as far or jog like I used to. I mind not being able to eat certain foods or eat late into the evening like I once did.

And boy oh boy, did I mind the peculiar things that began to happen on my arms (there used to be more tone and definition, if memory serves!), face, and (Lord have mercy) neck.

Seriously… why does the neck turn on a person so quickly?! The one body part it’s almost impossible to cover, camouflage, or paint?!?

We all have moments, don’t we? I almost never stress over appearance, I do my nails, spritz on my perfume, fluff my curls, apply makeup, ask my neck, “Why, though?” and get on with life. I have always (even as a teenager) cared 100 percent more about what was inside a person more than what was outside, including myself.

Whether it’s me or someone else, I am infinitely attracted to a great sense of humor, a love of life, a non-judgmental attitude, and a personality that draws you in its direction. We live in a world that focuses entirely too much on appearance (thanks a lot social media, selfies, and fad diets). How much better would it be if we praised personalities, compassion, being well-read, etc.

NOTHING in the world wrong with wanting to be healthy, look your best, and feel your best – but what’s going on INSIDE is so much more important and I’m willing to die on that hill.

If you’re reading this, odds are you’re feeling a little (or a lot) down about aging. Whether it was something you saw in the mirror (it was the neck, wasn’t it?) or something you weren’t able to do as well as you once were, you may simply have a case of the “sads.”

I want very much to see if I can help you get past the sads and dive head-first into the glads like a puppy in a pile of leaves.

Below are a few tips and tricks of the trade I’ve learned in the fabulous fifties (they really are fabulous in many ways):

  1. Keep a sense of humor – it will serve you well! I’ve listed this first for a reason – I think it may just be the most important one. Having a sense of humor and being able to see the humor in most situations is vital throughout life, but never more so than in the golden years (50-100+).  When you’re laughing, you aren’t ignoring things that bother or bug you (more about those in a minute), you’re simply letting them know you will NOT be brought down by them. You will NOT allow them to trample on your joy or let the air out of your happiness. Laughing doesn’t just feel good, it is healthy for your body and mind. I highly, highly, highly recommend watching The Golden Girls and (if colorful language doesn’t offend you) the Grumpy Old Men movies. They’re hilarious and will absolutely remind you to laugh. The Golden Girls could actually be prescribed therapy for us women who are growing older. They wear it so well and have so much fun with life, it reminds us that we can too!
  2. Eat right, sleep right, and keep your doctor’s appointments. I want to see you happy, but I also want to see you healthy. Some people get a certain age and they do all they can to avoid doctors. Horrible idea! Getting a great checkup could make a world of difference in how you feel. So very often, someone feels “off” or “not quite themselves” and bloodwork shows that all they need is a little more Vitamin D or Iron. Both of these make a whole world of difference in how you feel.  I’ve also found that Magnesium is something else that helps a great deal. Be sure to ask your doctor about each of these. Also, be sure you’re eating right and getting enough sleep. Both are vital to looking and feeling your best.
  3. Address those things that bug you! If you don’t like something about yourself (weight, hair, skin… whatever), research ways to improve it and get to work. Once you start working on something, you feel instantly better – long before you see even a hint of improvement, you feel a world better.
  4. Don’t focus on what LEFT… focus on what REMAINS. If you’ve suffered a loss in relationships, family member, health, a pet, home, business, or you feel like you’ve lost a piece of yourself, try very hard not to focus too much energy on what you have lost (or even perceive that you’ve lost). Focus, instead, on what or who remains. It’s a trick many use when dealing with an empty nest. They go from focusing on the child or children who had the audacity to leave the nest (how dare they grow up?!) and they focus on who and/or what remains. When you feel every bit of your age, try to switch your focus to the fact that you’re still bright, still funny, and (on some days) even downright sassy. Don’t spend too much time looking at those gray hairs… look, instead, at how your eyes still sparkle. It sounds simple, but it is absolutely therapeutic. Focus on what remains. Focus on what remains. Focus on what remains.
  5. Do not look to the future with fear or sadness, look instead at the life you’ve lived with awe and gladness! Think of the love, the laughs, the things you’ve seen, and the things you’ve done. Your life is a wonderful story and it is in NO WAY over yet! Heck, the best chapters may still lie ahead.

I don’t want to keep you much longer, I want you to get out there and enjoy your wonderful life, but I’ll just leave you with this. The next time you’re thinking anything like…

  • “I can’t do this, I’m too old…”
  • “I will never be okay with how I look..”
  • “What is with these creaking knees?”

… I want you to think back on your life. I want you to name times when you were your own hero.  Did you overcome cancer, a gallbladder operation, an especially bad car wreck, or a scary trip to the emergency room? Have you had to say goodbye (for now!) to your mom, dad, husband, wife, or other loved one at a funeral home? Did you have a dream home you had to drive away from… or close a business you worked half your life for? Think of the times you’ve had to step up, be tougher than you ever thought possible, and come walking out of the rubble… maybe even limping at first. Now tell yourself, “I’ve lived through the worst. This will be a cakewalk.”

Be your own hero. Hey, you’ve done it before… you’re good at this!

Make each moment count double and stay in the fight! ~ Joi (“Joy”)

How to feel happier about aging

Your Story Isn’t Over… It’s Just Getting Good!

Facing Your Fears of Returning to School

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Facing Your Fears of Returning to School

A rising number of colleges and training institutes now offer bachelors and graduate degree programs geared toward working people. People typically attend career colleges to learn new skills or expand their knowledge.

It is never too late to go back to school to make a career transfer, develop new skills and improve marketability in a competitive job market. Unfortunately, many would-be adult students who want to change careers or return to college do not because they are afraid.

The First Step is Admitting It

Many working professionals who are hesitant to return school share the following worries and fears:

Working adults and professionals are concerned about the cost of returning to college, the time commitment required, and the difficulties of taking classes with younger students.

Many are also anxious that their new degrees or certificates will not impress their employers. This is especially true for online degrees and certificates.

Because of the benefits of returning to college, many working people who have re-enrolled in college are glad they did not allow their worries to keep them from continuing their education.

(1) It Will Be Too Expensive

It might be costly to return to college. The cost of returning to school and earning a degree is enough to make many working people rethink their decision.

When education is considered an investment, however, the expenditures of attending college do not appear to be as significant. It’s better to consider the long term rather than the short term.

Increased salaries associated with more excellent education frequently cover the cost of returning to school.

Before you decide not to return to school because of the expense, consider how finishing your degree or gaining further training would help you reach your long-term job and educational goals.

(2) It Will Take Up Too Much Time

Working professionals are naturally stressed by their current commitments. As a result, returning to school might be much scarier. Working full-time, raising a family, and meeting other obligations are enough to keep even the busiest schedules occupied.

However, creating time to return to school is feasible—and many people do it effectively. It may necessitate sacrificing time spent on leisure activities, but it is feasible to create the time.

If you choose a goal and are committed to achieving it, you can acquire the skill to make sacrifices to achieve your educational ambitions.

Working professionals who want to return to school but are concerned about the time commitment might look into an online program. Many online programs allow students to finish lessons, assignments, and tests. Students are not needed to attend courses; all course requirements are completed from home or an office.

(3) Employers Won’t Take My Degree Seriously

People sometimes decide against returning to school because they cannot enter a renowned university. These individuals typically believe that their employers will be disappointed if they acquire a degree from a lesser-known college or school.

However, most employers consider degrees from vocational colleges and online universities acceptable and of comparable quality to degrees.

(4) We Won’t Learn Anything New Or Valuable

Working professionals often worry that returning to school would be ineffective. In other words, they believe they will not learn anything new.

Most adults who have returned to college and completed their degree on-campus or online would tell you the exact opposite. Similarly, many career institutions promote group learning and teamwork. Students in these programs collaborate extensively with professors and their peers.

Students can learn from other professionals with diverse job backgrounds through group work and conversation. Group interaction produces new information that may be implemented instantly in the workplace.

Why Make The Move?
Returning to school can boost your earning potential and allow you to pursue your interest. You may enhance your career by picking the right program and school with a little study and effort.

10 Surprising Ways to Improve WorkPerformance

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Good information is Powerful!

Spending plenty of hours at work does not equate to effectiveness. In most scenarios, everyone has the skill and talents to produce at efficient levels in their various jobs, but one thing is lacking- productivity. 

According to research by Udemy, 54% of all workers are underperforming, and 20% are yet to clinch significant career growth. Why? Because they lack productivity, discipline, ability to eliminate distractions, and ways to improve their performance. 

Work performance indicates how well you do a job, task, or responsibility. It involves core self-evaluations (CSE) to assess your locus of control, self-efficacy, esteem, neuroticism, and the success of your work life. Here are ten surprising ways to improve your work performance and hit your career growth targets. 

Begin With Clear Goals And Plans 

Succeeding at work requires the right mindset to view each day as a masterpiece. To become more productive, begin your day by setting work goals and plans to achieve them. Ensure it is realistic under your set time frame and follow up with unique plans. 

Always consider your unique selling points and weaknesses from the previous day and improve the next day. Does social media distract your work? Do you spend more time chatting away during break or lose focus quickly? Start your day by making precise evaluations and tailored plans to improve performance. Furthermore, divide your objectives into tiny bits and review them consistently throughout the day. 

Eliminate Distractions 

Interruptions are one of the most significant threats to work performance. Let’s face it: the social media notifications, news, and media are exciting but a big distraction to your efficiency at work. More problems can arrive when you do the right thing at the wrong time. You’re not alone. A neuroscience study asserts that the human brain can focus on tasks for two hours, after which it needs a 20–30-minute break. 

It’s natural to desire something else off work, but now you’ve set clear goals, be disciplined enough to sidetrack distractions. Begin by putting your smartphone on no-disturb mode, working in a quiet environment, rewarding yourself after set milestones, and including short breaks between work. 

Prioritize Good Health 

Having a sound body and mind is vital to improving work performance. Start by learning different wellness at work lifestyles for better efficiency. In most scenarios, workers are usually engrossed with their job without having time off for personal health and grooming. Despite having tight schedules, you need to take some time off for your health’s sake. 

Begin by going to the gym at least once every week. Trek or cycle to work if feasible, reduce excessive consumption of sugary drinks and snacks during the day, and eat healthily. Socialize with coworkers to improve mental health. You can also engage in mind exercises by reflecting on your goals in life which helps to refresh and enhance your performance for the subsequent work periods. 

Quit Multitasking 

Understandably, they are times when workload exceeds allocated time. This scenario is prevalent in busy workplaces; for example, in hospitals, it is not abnormal for a junior doctor to attend to multiple records and patients and answer different queries due to the looming number in wait. 

You may assume that productivity means doing multiple tasks per time, but you’re affecting your output and job quality. According to research, multitasking can hinder productivity by as high as 40%. 

Instead of handling extra work per time, prioritize important ones and deal with them first. It’s okay to decline additional work that may interfere with your job. Work on time management and focus, and eventually, you realize more success per time.

Take Breaks 

Mental exhaustion at work is real. It is normal to feel overwhelmed with plenty of tasks on your table, lack the motivation to succeed at goals, and burn out from the long working hours. If you experience any of these, take breaks to improve your work performance. 

Your timeout can be a short coffee break, a small chat with colleagues, or even a vacation. Visiting the gym, doing some yoga, or hanging out with family and friends are also creative ways to take breaks. Do anything acceptable off the rigors of your job to refresh your mind and body.

Practice Effective Time Management 

Time can be a resourceful factor for assessing productivity. For example, the amount of work you do per hour reflects your performance. Many workers have talent and know what to do but waste time at tasks due to a lack of motivation or insensitivity to deadlines. But this can change. 

If you’re consistently not hitting your realistic work targets, learn time management skills to become more efficient. Begin with planning each task with an allocated time, and minimize time-wasting opportunities like social media or unnecessary small chats with coworkers. There are also applications like Pomodoro, which help to sensitize your mind to deadlines. 

Complete Each Work You Start 

No matter how appealing a new task is or boring your current one is, you should always complete every work you start. Doing the opposite can be self-appealing at the moment because you’re doing the one that makes you happy. But this act creates a loop of delayed problems that’ll eventually danger performance. You can start by completing each task before a new one. Add more time to ensure the present one is on your schedule. Remember to prioritize workloads and concentrate on one at a time.

Be Early To Work 

Do you want to skyrocket your performance levels? Then take responsibility and be early to work. Form the habit of starting your job earlier than usual. Punctuality helps you to be accountable, reliable, and more productive. Being early also helps you tackle huge workloads and minimize exhaustion. You can start being punctual by planning your day, setting alarms, and conditioning your mind to be better each day. 

Assess Your Performance Regularly 

Self and external work assessment is essential to discover areas to improve your work performance. Learn to ask for constructive feedback on tasks you finish each time. Begin by asking your superiors or coworkers about the quality of your work. They’d often leave a compliment and, at other times, reveal areas to improve. Be happy to accept criticism as it is the only way to grow and improve your work performance.

Quick Thought About Interests… Basically, the More You Have, the Better!

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Be Interested...

Be interested… fascinated, even… in the world around you and stay interested… fascinated, even… every day of your life. That’s the advice I heap on just about everyone I know. I may not (or may, depending on who I’m talking to!) say the exact words, but I convey the exact thought.

When we are interested in as many things as possible, we not only make life more interesting, we make ourselves more interesting. We open up a whole world of reasons to look forward to the next moment.

Have you ever embarked on a new hobby and found yourself so excited to learn more about it or taken up a new sport and get practically giddy at the thought of perfecting your skills?!

The world if FULL of interesting, fascinating subjects and hobbies – pull up a seat and find a handful!

Some of my own interests.. just to expand your own thought bubble a bit:

  • Cooking and recipes
  • Bible Study
  • American History
  • Old Movies
  • Baseball
  • Ancient Egypt (especially Cleopatra)
  • Harriet Tubman
  • Presidents and First Ladies
  • Cats
  • Amelia Earhart
  • Bird Watching
  • Flower gardening
  • Biographies and auto-biographies
  • Reading Agatha Christie mysteries (over and over again)
  • Bigfoot… yes, of course I’m serious, why do you ask?!?!
  • Tea
  • Poetry
  • Word Find Puzzles (obsessed, y’all)

The world is a buffet of interests and they’re just waiting for you to fill your plate! ~ Joi

4 Ways You Can Try To Quit Smoking

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Healthy New Habits

In 2020, there were nearly 31 million adult smokers in America –– and the majority of them have tried to stop. Unfortunately though, an article posted by the Partnership to End Addiction early last decade indicated that only about 6% of those who try to kick the habit succeed in doing so.

The same article noted that the designation of certain public places as smoke-free (which we’ve seen even more of since) actually encouraged smokers to quit. At the same time though, individuals who want to cut out their smoking habits need more than this kind of public incentive. People also need to try their own ways of quitting –– and ultimately, it’s about each individual finding what works for them.

Here, we’ll look at four methods that have helped people quit.

1. Cold Turkey

The cold turkey method is a challenging approach because it means determining decisively that a given puff of smoke will be the last. There is no gradual reduction in nicotine and the person goes from smoking numerous cigarettes a day, to quitting flat-out.

To most smokers, this undoubtedly sounds difficult –– and it is. But it’s also doable! An article we posted previously referenced a piece by Jean Dare Roberts, entitled “A Divorce From Tobacco”, which recounted how a man who once smoked up to eight cigars a day and “ate” chewing tobacco was able to conquer the habit via the cold-turkey method. But if you are not ready for this approach, there are still other options.

2. Nicotine Pouches

Nicotine replacement products have been used for many years to help people quit smoking, and with considerable success. When people try to quit, it is natural to feel symptoms of withdrawal, and these can in turn hinder the effort. Thus, a method that revolves around the gradual reduction in nicotine can be highly effective; it cuts cigarette use without leading to withdrawal symptoms.

Nicotine replacement has traditionally revolved around patches and gum (and a few other products). Of late however, pouches have become the trendy force in the sector. Nicotine pouches are (roughly) 1.5-inch, tobacco-free packets that give a nicotine dose to the user when they are placed in the mouth between the gums and upper lip. They are discreet to use and come in a variety of flavors (mint, berry, and coffee, to name just a few). And while they’ve only been sold in the U.S. for about six years, Prilla reports that there are around 1 million nicotine pouch users in the U.S., with many of them being former cigarette smokers and chewing tobacco users. This –– coupled with the fact that pouches already accounted for 91% of sales in the “modern oral nicotine” category in 2021 –– indicates that they’re proving useful to people attempting to quit smoking.

3. Healthy Snacks

As mentioned, it is natural to experience withdrawal symptoms (like mood changes, fatigue, hunger, and cravings) while trying to smoke fewer cigarettes. But heading off cravings can actually make all of this easier to manage, essentially by distracting the mind (and mouth, for some). And in some cases, something as simple as a healthy snack can help.

An article at SFGate specifically pointed to fruit and raw vegetables as foods that can help in this way. Foods high in soluble fiber, such as oats, beans, and nuts, can also be useful in that the fiber slows down digestion –– making the eater feel full, and thus less inclined to want something in their mouth.

Ultimately, the goal with this method is to replace the smoking habit with something healthier that occupies the mouth, stomach, and/or mind, reducing the focus on smoking.

4. Hypnosis

While some may shrug off the notion of hypnotists being able to help, there are instances in which this method has appeared to be successful. A few years ago, The Atlantic wrote about hypnosis to help quit smoking, and acknowledged that the numbers are “fuzzy,” and experts can’t agree on the effectiveness. The same piece, however, quoted a hypnotist suggesting that 50% of his patients were able to quit with help from hypnosis. There are also anecdotal reports from patients who swear by the method.

To be clear, no scientific evidence backs the notion that hypnosis aids smoking cessation. But it can still be a useful option to explore. In most cases it will help a person to relax and focus on positive change; in some, it may lead to quitting.

Quitting smoking is never easy, but there are various ways to go about it. Try these options, and you may just find out what works, and start on your way toward a healthier lifestyle.