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You are here: Home / Archives for Make a Difference / Helping Children

Helping Children

Back to School: Making Masks Easier for Children

August 5, 2021 by Joi Leave a Comment

First of all, rest assured, this is not a preachy post and I have ZERO intention of telling anyone how to live their life in any fashion. I also will not EVER take something like a virus and life and death situations and politicize them.

I like to think I’m a better person…. and smarter!… than that.

I’m also not here to say with absolute certainty that this way or that way is the perfect way. From my vantage point, when it comes to getting out of this horrific pandemic and to outrunning the COVID virus nationally and internationally, there is no ONE right way. There are only attempts – multiple attempts – to keep as many people safe and well as possible.

There are only attempts to keep from overwhelming out hospitals and hard-working, dedicated medical professionals.

There are only attempts to keep the precious children in our lives from being traumatized or negatively affected any more than they already have been WHILE keeping them as safe and as healthy as possible. Like immunization shots for a 1 year old, keeping children safe isn’t always pretty to behold. Sometimes it gets downright sad and you just want to jump in there and save them from any discomfort or pain.

Thing is, the very temporary  thing we want to save them from is often the thing that will save them from a far worse fate.

Again, I’m not here to debate anything… masks included. Do I have my own opinions? Of course. And I will go ahead and say that I, personally, believe masks are effective. I’ve believed it all along (after all we’re talking about a respiratory virus, after all) but my beliefs were confirmed when (after the masks were lifted and removed) numbers went through the roof again.

For those who say that social distancing would be as effective – I agree, social distancing would be as effective. However, we can’t always determine how close someone gets to us in public and we darn sure can’t assume kids will adhere to distancing themselves from anyone.

Those little cuties want to get right up on everyone!

I know it can be debated, too, that children don’t get “as sick” as adults but, frankly, I raised three daughters and cannot remember ever thinking… “Oh, shucks, I’m going to let them play with those kids who have the flu… after all, my girls won’t get that sick.” I have three grandbabies now and cannot for the life of me imagine be willing to expose them to a virus simply because they MAY NOT get “as sick” as adults.

Sometimes the solution to a problem isn’t very attractive, but if you compare it to the alternative, it gets a little bit more agreeable.

Again, there is no one clear RIGHT answer to any of this. Chances are when your child (grandchild, niece, nephew, brother, sister…) starts the school year here in a matter of days, he or she will be required to wear a mask.

Below are a few tips that can help them… because, let’s be adults, here… they are absolutely the ones we should be thinking about:

  • Try to never EVER talk in an angry manner (and, for Heaven’s sakes, don’t cry!) about masks or mask mandates in front of your child. Children (of all ages) are incredibly, incredibly sensitive and will pick up on your emotions. What they pick up on will greatly effect their own emotions and outlook. Regardless of your personal feelings (and, trust me, I understand completely – the thought of children, especially small ones, having to wear masks all day breaks my heart)… be as strong as you’ve ever been in your life and treat it all as an adventure, something that, while temporary, has to be done. The children in our lives very often reflect us and if you’re stressed, angry, and overwhelmed, they will be as well. That’s the last thing they need to deal with on top of the stress of a new school year… which is, of course, on top of the pandemic!
  • When you talk about masks, try very hard to be as matter of fact as possible. The bigger an issue you make of it, the bigger an issue it will be to them.
  • Keep in mind how incredibly resilient and adaptable children are. They always amaze me at how they adjust and adapt – they do so far better than those of us who consider ourselves adults!
  • If your child has a health issue that would prohibit them from wearing a mask for extended periods of time, talk to your child’s physician and educators to find the best solution. I have (and have always had) chronic asthma and would not (today or as a child) be able to wear a mask for extended periods of time. I have no idea what could be done to help a child with asthma, but something would desperately need to be done. What seems like “no big deal,” to an asthmatic is a big deal. Yes, you can still breath through the mask, but… and remember, I know what I’m talking about, here, first hand… when you have asthma, even the slightest reduction in oxygen flow seems like you’re breathing through a collapsed straw. Children with anxiety would also need to have special considerations. Please talk to doctors and educators about the best thing for your child. If they are unwilling to help you, you will have a big decision to make – one I know that will put your child’s needs first.
  • As an asthmatic, I’ve found that disposable masks often feel less restrictive. My youngest daughter has clinical anxiety and has also found that disposable ones feel better to her. You just have to make sure you have a really, really good number of these masks and be sure to throw them away each day. It’s very unhealthy to wear one more than one day at a time. Amazon has wonderful Disposable Kids Masks in a wide variety of colors. Kids would get a kick out of matching them to their different outfits.
  • Children who are a little hard of hearing and tend to read lips also will need special consideration. If this is an issue for your child, be sure to talk to his/her teachers and ask for their help. Given that teachers have so many children to take care of, it may be something you need to mention several times over the weeks or months that masks will be in use. You could always simply say, “Thanks again so much for helping my child with this situation…”
  • Show your child photos of children wearing masks and being happy – SHOW them that it’s all going to be okay. They need this from you right now more than anything. BE the positive energy they need to feed on.
  • Finally, let your child pick out masks they like. Not only do stores have a wide selection of children’s masks, Amazon has MANY in different colors and styles. There are masks for every interest. Children love to express themselves, whether they’re in 1st grade or high school and masks allow them to do just that. Be sure to get them a good number of masks, so that one is always washed, dried, and ready to go. Some of the coolest, most FUN children’s face masks can be found here. Again, kids will get a kick out of matching masks to their outfits and favorite sports teams.

Whether it’s mask mandates, vaccine controversies, closed restaurants, quarantine, or any of the other things that have become part of our daily routines, remember this – we WILL get through this. There will be better days…. normal days… and we will never take a single one of them for granted! Everything is going to be better one day, and I believe that one day will be very soon. In the meantime, try to keep the best attitude and outlook you can.

Keep your sense of humor as much as humanly possible and don’t let any of the stress make you turn into someone that would have horrified you two years ago. Becoming a bitter, angry, and judgmental person does NOT have to be anyone’s destiny, no matter how ugly the valley is.

I know much too smart to let that happen!

Remember we are all in this together – none of us are the enemy… the virus is the enemy and it will take all of us to kick it’s vile butt to the curb!

Make each moment count double,

~ Joi (“Joy”)


Filed Under: Health, Helping Children, Positive Thought Tagged With: help children with masks, masks for children

Positive Feedback vs. Negative Feedback and the Effect Each Has on Our Lives

June 21, 2021 by Joi 5 Comments

Quote About Being Yourself

I’m about halfway through a wonderful book, How to Think Like a Millionaire (I hope to have the review up soon!).  It’s one of those books where you find yourself, not only taking notes, but closing the book every now and again just to let everything soak in.  After this morning’s reading, I was basically a sponge.

I just finished a section on Positive Feedback vs Negative Feedback and the impact they have upon our subconscious mind and the absolute power our subconscious mind has over our lives.  Everything rises and falls according to the strength of our subconscious mind, so keeping positive and life-affirming thoughts therein could make ALL the difference.

The Live-Changing Power of Positive Feedback

When I got up from reading to make my husband breakfast, I was still thinking about what I had read.  I realized how, in my own life, positive feedback had a huge impact on me.  My mom and dad were forever telling me what a “good” child I was, how they never had to worry about me getting into trouble, and so on.  That early reinforcement, I’m sure, had a great deal to do with the fact that I never DID get into any trouble.  When I was in my 30’s, a few months before I lost my father – my dad told one of his nurses that the only trouble I ever gave him or my mom was one solitary speeding ticket.

I told him at the time that it was because I was perfect – but I’m absolutely sure that’s not completely honest!

I believe that the same scenario plays out for kids who are constantly told that they’re “bad,” “difficult,” or “spoiled.”  They live down to those words the way the lucky kids live up to the ones they hear.

As I kept thinking, I realized another area where positive feedback affected me greatly.  I believe that one of the reasons I ever fancied myself a writer had to do with things my aunt told me years and years ago.  Penny (my mom’s sister and an aunt I’ve always been VERY close to) and her husband (Bobby – LOVE him too!) had to move to another state when I was really young.  It was really hard on all of us, but Bobby had an amazing offer in Ohio that he would have been a fool to say no to.  He’s the master of corny jokes, but a fool he’s not.

When they left, I missed them terribly, so we started writing a lot of letters to one another – oh, to have had e-mail and social media back then!  When they came home for Christmas, she went on and on about how much my letters meant to her and Bobby.  She said she always looked forward to them and saved each one.  When she said they “made her smile” because they were like visiting with me, I began to associate true, beautiful power with words.

Many years later, when I got married and we had to move to Kansas, I had a lot more letters to write.  I still wrote to Penny, but I also wrote to my parents and my grandmother.  Each one of them always told me how much they loved reading my letters, how they kept them and often re-read them.  My grandmother even told me how she read them to her friends, and that they enjoyed my “way with words.”

Positive Feedback, friends.

Somewhere along the way, I came to believe that all of my loved ones were right and I’ve had a fascination with words and writing since.

When I handed my smiling husband his breakfast, I thought of yet another area of positive feedback touching my life. Early in my marriage, I fell head over heels in love with cooking.  I started collecting cookbooks and even began coming up with my own recipes.  He’d often have his single friends over to our house for supper.  I often overheard him talking about my “wonderful” cooking and it made me believe I was the greatest cook in the world.  The fact that he and our daughters are always so complimentary about my meals, desserts, bread, etc. only makes me love cooking more and more.

I am very, very blessed that the people I love most in this world have always made me feel like I could do anything. It makes me very sad to think there are others out there who don’t have this positive feedback in their life.

A Lack of Positive Feedback

I wonder if one of the main reasons people become discouraged and give up is because they don’t get enough positive feedback. Think about the stereotypical scenario of the couple who has been together for several years. She begins to feel he doesn’t love her or think she’s pretty simply because he has stopped saying the words. The positive feedback, early in the relationship, built her confidence up SO high that when the words stopped, she came crashing down, bewildered and even wondering what she’s doing wrong.

The same could be said of children, co-workers, and just about anyone you could name. Children often give up because they don’t feel appreciated. Co-workers and friends get to the point that they quit trying because nothing they do is ever good enough.

The Pitfalls of Negative Feedback

The only thing more dangerous than a lack of positive feedback is a steady stream of negative feedback. When a spouse, daughter, son, friend, co-worker, etc. only hears negative comments – they begin to believe the words and come to believe that they are as worthless as the comments say they are. Many even tune the negativity out to a certain degree, after all, who wants to constantly hear how worthless, stupid, wrong, irresponsible, or bad they are?!?! But it goes much deeper than them tuning it out. They begin to believe it. When someone believes the worst about themselves, they stop even trying.

However, if they get positive feedback – even if it’s for the smallest possible thing – their confidence and self worth begin to grow. After they’ve gotten enough positive feedback, they begin to give themselves MORE of the same feedback, then… look out!

The Most Important Feedback of All

As important as the feedback we get from others is, it’s not the most vital feedback. That feedback is the one we feed ourselves. The words we say to ourselves, usually inside our own minds, determine how successful we will or will not be. We are, basically, what we think we are.

The words below are just some of the words we use to cripple ourselves:

  • I’m too old
  • I’m too fat
  • I’m not smart enough
  • I never catch any breaks
  • I don’t have enough money
  • Nobody loves me
  • I’m lonely
  • I can’t do anything
  • I’m so depressed
  • I am so sick and tired of…
  • My live sucks!

When we feed ourselves words like this, we’re feeding ourselves a type of poison. Anyone who feeds these words to another person (especially someone they supposedly love) should be even more ashamed.

Start thinking more about the feedback you give to others and to yourself.  The words you say to and about the people around you makes them better or makes them worse.  If you beat them down, that’s where they’ll stay.  If you build them up, that’s the direction in which they’ll grow.

Now let’s change the pronouns a little:  If you beat yourself down, that’s where you’ll stay.  If you build yourself up, that’s the direction in which you’ll grow.  How far can you and I grow?  As far as we want to!

How to Think Like a Millionaire

The book below, How to Think Like a Millionaire is a must-read as far as I’m concerned. It’s all about altering your mindset – the millionaire part has absolutely nothing to do with it. What matters is believing that you deserved the best from life… because you absolutely do.


Filed Under: Books I Love, General, Helping Children, Relationships, Self Help Tagged With: affirmations, getting along with co-workers, motivational writing, negative feedback, parenting, positive affirmations, positive feedback, Relationships, self growth, Self Help, self help article, self help blog, self worth

Most Dangerous Apps for Kids: How to Protect Children Online

December 14, 2019 by Joi Leave a Comment

Those of us with children in our lives have extra special concerns and fears we face on a day to day basis – keeping the children we love and cherish as safe as possible. The fact that so many children (unfortunately!) spend so much time online just adds to our worries.

The online world offers so many threats and risks for children – whether they’re 8 years old or 18. Most parents and grandparents don’t even realize all the unsavory (and downright dangerous) things that are out there and one of the reasons is that we, as adults, tend to frequent our favorite websites and apps and don’t diligently watch out for ones that could be luring (and harming) our kids.

Whether it’s horrifying images, predators, or scams – countless people are just waiting to take advantage of kids.

A few tips:

  • Be certain your child is old enough to be trusted with an iPhone, iPad, or unsupervised internet time.
  • Monitor the amount of time your child spends online. This is becoming a colossal problem in our society and one that isn’t just going to go away.
  • Obviously, you love your child and trust them. Somehow we just inherently trust our children – however, always be on guard. A lie (to a child, even as old as 18) is nothing more than a means of avoiding trouble – they don’t associate it with being disrespectful and they certainly don’t realize the dangers that are posed to them. They assume we (the adults) are being overprotective and unreasonable. Just don’t drop your guard.
  • Do your research! Stay on top of current dangers and experiences other parents and grandparents have had.
  • The guide Parent Alert: How to Keep Your Kids Safe Online is a wonderful resource.
  • Keep one thing in mind – it is always better to come across as overprotective and risk “annoying” your child than for any harm to come to them.

Below is an infographic from SwiftTechBuy.com which lists the most dangerous apps for kids. I hope you’ll share it with everyone you know who has children in their lives. At the bottom of the inofgraphic is a list of “source.” The websites listed in the sources would be great places for you to use to stay informed.

 

Click the infographic for a larger version!

Most Dangerous Apps for Kids

Infographic Courtesy of SwiftTechBuy.com


Filed Under: Helping Children, Infographics Tagged With: dangerous apps for kids, Infographic, keeping kids safe online

A Parent’s Guide to Phonological Processes

August 22, 2019 by Joi Leave a Comment

Phonological refers to the relationships between speech sounds. Phonological processes are those mistakes children make when learning how to talk. Ideally, they stop making these mistakes and learn to speak clearly and properly at all times. However, parents are often stumped by the mistakes their children make. They’re also left wondering when it is a phase and when it is a sign of a speech delay. This is why WPS Publish created this useful infographic on phonological processes.

It describes the most common phonological problems or speech mistakes children make. It says when most children stop making this mistake. This allows parents to know when they should take their children for an assessment or visit a speech pathologist. Then the child’s speech delays are addressed as early as possible, minimizing the impact of speech problems on social development and their education. By giving parents a medical label for the problem, they know what it is called and can discuss it by name with doctors and teachers. The infographic also identifies the errors that only occur in more severe cases, allowing parents to know when they need expert help as soon as possible.


Types of Phonological Processes

Credit: WPSPublish.com

Filed Under: Helping Children, Infographics

I Create My World: Perfect Book to Help Build a Child’s Confidence

August 5, 2019 by Joi 3 Comments

I’m in love with this little book – more to the point, I’m in love with the concept of providing children with positive affirmations, self confidence, and self worth. I Create My World  is a wonderful book for children that I wish I could put in every child in the world’s precious little hands.

I don’t have to tell you how important self worth is, nor do I need to remind you how important it is to our happiness and even health to realize that we are…

  • important
  • special
  • wonderful
  • worthy of love, happiness, and all things good!

What I might need to remind a lot of people of is this: People need to be grounded in these truths very, very, very early in life.  The first years of development are more important than most people realize.  A lot of the beliefs, feelings, and thoughts we develop as very young children stay with us throughout our lives. The impressions we form of ourselves in the early years of life stay with us, for better or worse.

That’s why the thought of a loving adult sitting down with a child and reading a book like this, together, fills my heart with warm hope.

Picture it: A parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, older sibling, or other family member sitting with a precious child reading a bright, beautiful book that’s all bout THEM!  Kids are their own favorite topic of conversation, after all – and this is a book reminding them.. reinforcing in them… that they are…

  • special
  • talented
  • loved
  • gifted
  • wonderful
  • the artist who’ll paint their life’s picture

I read to my daughters (Emily, Brittany, and Stephany) from the moment they were old enough to listen.  The time spent together was sweeter than any cupcake could ever hope to be. I found that it was often the words shared between us… between pages.. that were the most powerful.  The same would be true with this delightful and colorful book.  Think of the wonderful opportunities you’d have to instill positive life affirmations!  Having a book as a “tool” helps immensely.  The author’s words can guide your words, while the picture holds the child’s attention.

I’m reminded almost daily  just how strong children’s memories are.  My daughters often bring up things that happened so long ago that my mind had nearly misplaced the entire scenario. They remember books we checked out at the library and read as soon as we got home, they remember lessons from our home school – all the way back to when they were 5 and 6.  A few months ago, one of my girls brought up a story I’d made up when they were all younger than 8.  They remembered the “moral” and even the illustrations I drew to go along with it!

What a child experiences early in life helps mold and form them into the person they’ll become. It’s as though we provide them (when they’re very small) with the colors they’ll use to paint their life’s picture.

I Create My World is a beautiful palette of colors you can use to your child’s advantage!

Click through any of the links or images to learn more.

~ Joi (“Joy”)


Filed Under: Book Reviews, Books I Love, Helping Children Tagged With: children's Kindle book, parenting, raising children

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My name is Joi (“Joy”)! I am the animal lover behind Self Help Daily.

To contact me, please do so through e-mail (joitsigers @ gmail.com). Thanks and I look forward to hearing from you! ~ Joi

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