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Helping Children

A Parent’s Guide to Phonological Processes

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Phonological refers to the relationships between speech sounds. Phonological processes are those mistakes children make when learning how to talk. Ideally, they stop making these mistakes and learn to speak clearly and properly at all times. However, parents are often stumped by the mistakes their children make. They’re also left wondering when it is a phase and when it is a sign of a speech delay. This is why WPS Publish created this useful infographic on phonological processes.

It describes the most common phonological problems or speech mistakes children make. It says when most children stop making this mistake. This allows parents to know when they should take their children for an assessment or visit a speech pathologist. Then the child’s speech delays are addressed as early as possible, minimizing the impact of speech problems on social development and their education. By giving parents a medical label for the problem, they know what it is called and can discuss it by name with doctors and teachers. The infographic also identifies the errors that only occur in more severe cases, allowing parents to know when they need expert help as soon as possible.


Types of Phonological Processes

Credit: WPSPublish.com

I Create My World: Perfect Book to Help Build a Child’s Confidence

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I’m in love with this little book – more to the point, I’m in love with the concept of providing children with positive affirmations, self confidence, and self worth. I Create My World  is a wonderful book for children that I wish I could put in every child in the world’s precious little hands.

I don’t have to tell you how important self worth is, nor do I need to remind you how important it is to our happiness and even health to realize that we are…

  • important
  • special
  • wonderful
  • worthy of love, happiness, and all things good!

What I might need to remind a lot of people of is this: People need to be grounded in these truths very, very, very early in life.  The first years of development are more important than most people realize.  A lot of the beliefs, feelings, and thoughts we develop as very young children stay with us throughout our lives. The impressions we form of ourselves in the early years of life stay with us, for better or worse.

That’s why the thought of a loving adult sitting down with a child and reading a book like this, together, fills my heart with warm hope.

Picture it: A parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, older sibling, or other family member sitting with a precious child reading a bright, beautiful book that’s all bout THEM!  Kids are their own favorite topic of conversation, after all – and this is a book reminding them.. reinforcing in them… that they are…

  • special
  • talented
  • loved
  • gifted
  • wonderful
  • the artist who’ll paint their life’s picture

I read to my daughters (Emily, Brittany, and Stephany) from the moment they were old enough to listen.  The time spent together was sweeter than any cupcake could ever hope to be. I found that it was often the words shared between us… between pages.. that were the most powerful.  The same would be true with this delightful and colorful book.  Think of the wonderful opportunities you’d have to instill positive life affirmations!  Having a book as a “tool” helps immensely.  The author’s words can guide your words, while the picture holds the child’s attention.

I’m reminded almost daily  just how strong children’s memories are.  My daughters often bring up things that happened so long ago that my mind had nearly misplaced the entire scenario. They remember books we checked out at the library and read as soon as we got home, they remember lessons from our home school – all the way back to when they were 5 and 6.  A few months ago, one of my girls brought up a story I’d made up when they were all younger than 8.  They remembered the “moral” and even the illustrations I drew to go along with it!

What a child experiences early in life helps mold and form them into the person they’ll become. It’s as though we provide them (when they’re very small) with the colors they’ll use to paint their life’s picture.

I Create My World is a beautiful palette of colors you can use to your child’s advantage!

Click through any of the links or images to learn more.

~ Joi (“Joy”)


How Do You Know if Your Teenager Needs Counselling?

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Parenting an adolescent is perhaps one of the most challenging periods of parenthood. The story in most families is the same. Almost overnight, your sweet, compliant child turns into someone you no longer recognise. He or she suddenly becomes stubborn, rude and even aggressive. It can come as a complete shock, but it’s important not to lose sight of the fact that it’s not just challenging for you. It’s a difficult time for teenagers too.

Every generation has had its own difficulties in parenting teenagers, but evidence suggest that modern society and different parenting styles (mollycoddling or over pressurising) is causing unprecedented levels of depression, self-harm and anxiety amongst young people.

So, with communication at its worse between you and your teenager, how do you know if your child is in difficulty? And importantly, how do you know it’s time to seek professional help? We’ve put together a guide of some of the challenges facing teenagers today, the signs to look out for when things are going awry, and what to do if you think your teenager could do with some help. If communication between you has reached an all-time low, counselling could help your child to make sense of how they are feeling.

The challenges facing today’s teenagers

Teens today have a different set of issues to worry about than those of previous generations. These include:

  • Social media pressures – everything is documented online – there’s no escape
  • Cyber bullying – bullying no longer ends at the school gates – it’s 24/7
  • Educational pressures
  • Peer pressures – due to social media and constant connection with friends. But remember not all peer pressure is negative.
  • Access to inappropriate video games, films and TV shows
  • Family income – recent research suggests that family income is associated with high depressive symptoms in teenagers, with children from poor families suffering most
  • Parental micromanaging (helicopter parenting) – rigidly structured childhood environments are creating anxiety and thwarting the development of independence in teenagers

Is it just normal teenager behaviour?

It’s quite normal for communication between you and your child to change during the course of adolescence. Your once chatty child, can become more secretive and less willing to open up. It’s a normal part of the adolescent development process – they are moving through a period of change, from a child to an adult, and they naturally begin a process of separation. That doesn’t mean they don’t need you. They need you more than ever.

During this period of change it’s not uncommon for parents to worry about their teenager’s behaviour. Due to hormonal and physical bodily changes, teenagers can be moody, withdrawn or short-tempered. As part of the natural process of separation it’s not uncommon for teenagers to spend increasing amounts of time alone in their room, or out with friends, and less time with family. This is perfectly normal teenage behaviour.

Signs your teenager may need counselling

Today’s teenagers are under a lot of stress. Counselling is one solution that may help your teenager to work through their difficulties and develop the skills to find solutions and gain independence. Here are some signs that may indicate your teenager needs some extra help:

  • Not engaging in extra-curricular activities
  • Not engaging with friends
  • Chronically withdrawn
  • Persistent extreme anger and/or sadness
  • Significant decrease in performance at school
  • Strong resistance to attending school, or truanting
  • Substance abuse
  • Dangerous or thrill-seeking behaviour
  • Significant changes in sleeping, eating or energy
  • High levels of aggression and disobedience
  • Poor personal hygiene

What might teenagers need counselling for?

  • Parent separation or divorce
  • Trauma
  • Sexual identity
  • Depression, sadness, anxiety
  • School failure
  • Lack of meaningful relationships/struggles with peer relationships
  • Bullying/isolation
  • Teen pregnancy
  • Self-harming behaviour
  • Substance abuse and addiction

What to do if you feel your teenager needs counselling

It’s not going to be easy to convince your teenager that talking therapy with a complete stranger is what they need. But, being open, honest and non-judgemental with your teenager is key to facilitating a level of trust between you both. Talk to your teen about your concerns, and use specific examples to qualify your concerns. Don’t expect an immediate answer; give your teen time and space to respond. Let your teenager know there are people that can help other than you. If you are at all worried about your teenager, seek help from your family doctor.

How to nurture independence

  • Do listen to your child – give advice when you are asked
  • Do encourage your teenager to solve their own problems
  • Do let go slowly and give your teen more opportunity for responsibility
  • Do learn not to take what your teenager yells at you personally
  • Do let your teenager learn from their own mistakes – you need to help them develop a ‘decision-making muscle’
  • Do support your child’s teachers and encourage your teenager to respect the teacher’s opinions
  • Don’t manage your child’s relationships or communications
  • Don’t raise your child to expect treatment that is different or better than the treatment other children receive

 

Daddy Nickell Tips, Just in Time for Thanksgiving

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Gratitude is on everyone’s mind this time of year. Isn’t it a shame that the thoughts that are so strong and prevalent during November and December don’t stay as strong and prevalent the rest of the year?!

I have to admit, when I was younger, I never really realized just how beautiful a gracious and thankful heart is.  I remember one Tuesday morning I was having lunch (pizza!) with the pastor of our church, his adorable wife, and a few of our friends. Somehow the subject turned to being thankful and expressing gratitude. Southern preachers do many things with great passion and eating is certainly amongst them, but between bites, our pastor said, “A Gracious heart is a beautiful thing.”

I remember this so clearly because:

  1. It was BY FAR the shortest sermon he ever preached.
  2. It made me realize that, indeed, a gracious heart is a beautiful thing.

My three daughters, with their lives, preach the same sermon this wonderful man did over pizza.  My daughters are so incredibly gracious and thankful that it never ceases to leave an impression on me and I always think of the “Mini Pizza Sermon.”  Graciousness is beautiful.  They express the same gratitude whether I fix them a mug of hot chocolate as they would if I bought them a purse that costs way more than any purse has a right to cost (seriously, what’s up with purses?).

When I read the article below, the tip, “Model the behavior” jumped out at me. I believe that, over the years, my girls saw that my husband (“Daddy” to them!) and I simply don’t take anything for granted. We are always genuinely thankful for anything we have as well as for anything anyone does for us. I think that, more than anything, this helped them to become so beautifully gracious.

I notice graciousness in others and always realize that it speaks absolute volumes about an individual.

Below is a timely article that’s being shared with Self Help Daily’s readers.  It’s written by Robert Nickell (a.k.a. Daddy Nickell) and offers fantastic tips on helping your kids find ways to give thanks. More importantly, it tells how you can help your kids to be more thankful. ~  Joi

Creative Ways Your Family Can Express Thankfulness on Thanksgiving and Beyond

by Daddy Nickell

Thanksgiving is almost here, and parents everywhere are wondering how they can teach their kids how to express thankfulness on the holiday and beyond. Rather than just going around the table and saying a quick list of things they are grateful for, moms and dads want creative and unique “I’m Thankful For…” ideas that will get the kiddos in the spirit of giving thanks!

Daddy Nickell
From his experience in raising 7 children of his own, parenting expert Daddy Nickell has tried-and-true tips on ways to teach your kids how to give thanks:

Creative ways to express thankfulness on Thanksgiving:

  1. Thankfulness jar: Put out a decorative jar with a notepad and pen. Have family members write down things they are thankful for and read the notes at Thanksgiving dinner.
  2. Thankful turkeys: Do the old-fashioned hand turkey or be more elaborate, but have children write something they are thankful for on each of the turkey’s feathers. Use them as place cards or decorations.
  3. Alphabet list: Go around the table and have everyone say something they are thankful for. Be creative and use the alphabet to keep things going (each person has to say something they are thankful for that starts with the next letter in the alphabet.
  4. Dry-erase board display: Have a dry-erase board on prominent display where people can write what they are thankful for.
  5. Thankful songs: Choose a popular tune, such as “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star,” and have each child sing a song starting with the words “I am thankful for…” This will get your kids’ creativity going and is sure to bring joy and many laughs!

Ways to teach your kids how to always give thanks:

  1. Model the behavior. Say “thank you’s” yourself. Remember to thank your children when they make their beds or clean up their messes. Tell them they make you happy when they follow the rules and bring you joy when they sing and dance. Demonstrate thankfulness in your own life.
  2. Make them wait (or work) for it. When kids get everything they ask for the minute they ask for it, they don’t appreciate it. If you make them wait a couple of days or until their next birthday, they will be incredibly grateful for the gifts when they receive them. Children also appreciate things more when they have contributed work or money towards them.
  3. Work thankfulness into your daily conversation. Talk to your kids about how blessed you are to live where you do and remind them how special and important they are to you. Helping a child appreciate what they already have will help them be thankful for their life.
  4. Volunteer. Whether it’s bringing cookies to a neighbor lady, or filling food bags at a homeless shelter, your children will benefit from seeing the joy they can bring to those less fortunate than themselves.
  5. Write thank you notes. Somewhat old-fashioned and definitely on the out, thank you notes require the children to think about each person and why they appreciate them and the gift they gave. It takes time, and every kid loves receiving mail.
  6. Reward thankfulness. Recognize your child when they remember to say “thank you,” especially to a stranger. Tell them how proud or impressed you are with their behavior.

Daddy Nickell’s tips will help all parents teach their kids to be thankful on Thanksgiving and beyond! Use them to ensure that your kids make giving thanks a part of their daily life.
Author: Robert Nickell (a.k.a. Daddy Nickell), father of 7, offers his “5 cents” worth of advice to expectant and new parents. Daddy Nickell is the founder of DaddyScrubs.com, delivery room duds, gifts, and apparel for dads, and the Daddyscrubs.com blog, where he covers topics about parenting and the latest baby and kids gear, all from a Dad’s perspective.

About Daddy Nickell
For his blog, Nickell writes from a father’s perspective on topics such as bonding with your child and what the father should expect during pregnancy and infancy. Daddy Nickell also contributes his parenting expertise to national talk shows and daytime television shows. He has been featured on “Good Morning L.A.,” “Good Morning Texas,” “Daytime TV” ABC15 Phoenix, MSNBC, WZZM 13, San Antonio Living, KSBI TV, and as a syndicated columnist for national newspapers, parenting magazines and websites including Baby Couture Magazine, Oh Baby! Magazine, City Parent Magazine, The Bump, Parenthood, and Homeschooling Parent.

You can also see DaddyScrubs on YouTube, like them on Facebook, and follow them on Twitter (@DaddyScrubs) and Pinterest!

Be Who You Are, Say What You Feel

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A Peacock Spreads its Feathers at the Alipore Zoo
Peacock
Buy This at Allposters.com

Have you ever stopped to think about the peacock? He doesn’t look like other birds. He doesn’t act like other birds.  He doesn’t put on a facade or try to hide who he is, though. In fact, he downright celebrates it. Each day is a holiday for a peacock because he wakes up as himself.   His self confidence, pride, and even arrogance make him one of of the most beautiful things on earth.  He doesn’t just accept his originality. He doesn’t just embrace his originality.  He struts his originality. Man, I love that.

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”– Dr. Seuss

Last night my husband and I were talking a little bit about our daughters. We were, to be quite honest, counting our blessings that the biggest dramas we’ve ever had to worry about with our girls are things like too much self-tanning, not eating enough vegetables, creative use of makeup, and the fact that one of them drives like her mother (okay, admittedly, that’s a pretty big drama). We’ve never had any “huge” worries or problems (drinking, drugs, or even cigarettes) and, believe me, we thank God every morning, noon, and night. We could not have asked for better daughters and our pride in them could light up an entire continent.

After my husband fell asleep, I stayed awake for about 20 minutes – just thinking , while petting Alexa (our diva cat). One of the things I’m most proud of when it comes to my girls is the fact that they are who they are and they say what they think – NO APOLOGIES. Each one is at the steering wheel of her own life and Heaven help the fool that tries to take the wheel out of their hands.

I’ve seen that attempt made and it’s never pretty. There have been casualties and I’m sure there’ll be more.  They learned at an early point in life that if someone can’t accept you for who you are, they aren’t worth your time. As Marilyn Monroe said, “If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”

Our middle daughter, Brittany, went through a phase where she wore black – as in only black.  Here she was one of the most colorful little girls you’d ever want to be around (colorful personality, colorful sense of humor) and she wore one color. Black. As her mother, I was proud that she wore what she wanted to wear in spite of the ribbing she got from some people.  Deep down I had a lot of respect for this child who decided what she wanted to wear and refused to be swayed.  When shopping for my beautiful girls, at that time, I’d buy yellows, oranges, and reds for Stephany, blues, whites, and more blues for Emily and for Brittany? Black.  I never tried to talk her down off of her black cliff, I simply bought her the cutest black clothes I could find.

I knew it’d pass, but I wanted her to know that I loved her and accepted her for who she was and, what’s more, I respected her choices. Having said that, I did a little happy dance the first day she ran (she never walked, she always ran) through the house wearing an orange t-shirt she’d dug out of the back of her closet.  Emily and I did a double-take at the orange streak. The black phase was officially over.

Developing a strong will in young people may seem counterproductive.  When they’re small, parents want them to “DO AS I SAY” right now and every single time after that. Many parents seem to think the goal is to BREAK their will.  Big, dumb, colossal, stupid mistake.  You want your kids to grow up with a backbone – you want them to have a strong enough will to say NO when the time arises.  When others around them pick up the wrong kind of drink, you want your sons and daughters to pick up the right kind of  drink.

When others around them do drugs, you want your child to head for the door.

In the end, when others tell them, “You’re different.” – You want your little girl or little boy to say, “Damn right I’m different!”

You know me and my obsession with inspirational quotes, right?  It won’t come as a surprise that, when our daughters were little, I had them memorize a lot of great quotes in home school. One of the first ones they ever learned was one of my absolute favorites: “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”  Dr. Seuss said these magical words and I never leave home without them.

Be who you are!  Socrates said, “To find yourself, think for yourself.”  More magical words!  Don’t let anyone else think for you. Don’t let them dress you, do your hair, choose your major, pick your job, plan your time, or put words into your mouth.  If you think you have to be someone you’re not to “hold on” to someone, ask yourself if they’re even worth hanging on to.  You don’t want to go through life with a facade on any more than you’d want to go through life with a mask on.

Be you. Stay You. If anyone ever tries to get you to budge, look at them like they have two heads and.. well, quite frankly, neither one does a thing for you.