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Signs of the Times or….. Just Bad Manners?

November 8, 2019 by Joi Leave a Comment

Quote About Rude People

I’m a student of people and their behavior.   Whether it’s a rude person I encounter online or a sweet, talkative girl in the line Starbucks (with an adorable Canadian accent I could have listened to all day), people fascinate me.

I’ve noticed a few changes lately in temperament.  I realize it’s ridiculous to talk in generalities, so let me preface it by saying that these observations don’t mean that EVERYONE (thanks be to God!) is falling victim to these traits.

Just enough people to make it noticeable.

Rudeness

So many people have become so rude and inconsiderate that they’re looking and acting less and less… well…  human. How about celebrities, politicians, and others on social media that spout off insensitive opinions that aren’t just ridiculous, they’re downright hurtful? They come across as though they haven’t an ounce of tact or consideration whatsoever.

It’s not just celebs, politicians, or rude people on social media, of course. There are also the rude drivers, shoppers, workers… the list goes on.

Thankfully, kind people still outnumber the jerks. A while back, I mentioned on Twitter that I had the flu and bronchitis (yes… at once.. I’m an overachiever) and I heard from many people wishing me a speedy recovery. Even closer to home, my family went out of their way to make me feel better — checking on me, waiting on me, and showing their love and concern in many ways. In spite of coming close to my germs.

Among all of the “crusty” individuals in the world today, it’s always good to see that plenty of hearts haven’t been hardened.

Selfishness

Another trait that’s becoming rampant is selfishness. Fewer people will go out of their way to help another person than ever. I’ll be the first to say that everyone should try very hard to help themselves, hence the name of my blog: Self Help Daily. But sometimes that’s just not possible. It hurts to see so many people wrapped up in their own world that they can’t even see other people’s needs.

You see it in store and restaurants all the time. A child makes noise (news flash: children do such things!!!) and grown adults within earshot act like they have been personally attacked. Heaven forbid they actually smile at the child and the adults working feverishly to quiet him or her. It’d be a much better look than scowling in their direction every ten seconds.

I also see self-absorption online on a regular basis and, again, social media is making it (in my opinion) more of an epidemic than it it an inconvenience.  20 years ago, it’d would seem so STRANGE for someone to spend upwards of 30 minutes getting “just the right picture of themselves,” then taking said picture (the best of the bunch, of course) and showing it to everyone in their family, all of their friends, and everyone in town.

We’d have thought they were nuts! But today, it’s the norm.  Back then, we’d have thought, “They must think they’re pretty cute to want to show themselves off,” but today it’s “normal.”

Well…. supposedly it is.

Selfies do not make individuals selfish or self-oriented, obviously. However, they are a clear indication that our society is more ME-focused than it  has ever been before.

Work-a-haulics

Due to the economy, it seems that a lot of people are working themselves into a fevered pitch. They’re trying to do half a million things at once (maybe that explains the cranks). There’s nothing wrong, of course, with pushing yourself to get the most from life. The thing is, very often when you’re pushing yourself, you’re pushing others around you who…well…don’t want to be pushed. When we overestimate all that we can conceivably do, we start handing out our “to do’s” to other people. It’s as though we take our own to do list and tear it into fourths. We know we can’t do all of it, so we hand it out to others – basically creating their to do lists for them. As though they don’t have their own lists!

When we get to that point, it’s either time to barter for favors with them, or realize that we’re spreading ourselves way too thin.

I started thinking about these Human To Do lists when I read about a woman who was furious with her husband for not doing everything she’d left on his “list.” When asked why she thought he didn’t get to them, she said he’d “probably blame it on” the fact that he had two jobs.

Probably!

It may sound like a line from Little House on the Prairie, and for that I apologize, but we should all remind ourselves of the Golden Rule. We should treat others the way we’d want to be treated. No ifs. No ands. No buts. And certainly no butts.

 

Filed Under: Relationships, Self Help Tagged With: grouchiness, rudeness, Self Help

Is Graciousness a Dying Trait?

October 6, 2019 by Joi 1 Comment

Quote about Gratitude

I have always, always loved graciousness. I think it’s one of the most beautiful traits a person can have. By contrast, an ungrateful person exhibits such ugliness that it’s difficult to look at them.

When I’ve written a positive book review and the author takes the time to e-mail me or leave a comment on the blog, I mark them down as an author I will forever seek out. Graciousness is often a sign of having a great deal of class. Do I write reviews for this gratitude? Of course not. I write them in an effort to share a book, cookbook, or product that I believe will benefit others.

A few months ago, I wrote a review for a kitchen gadget on my Recipe Blog. They sent me a Starbucks gift card in a thank you card! They earned my love and lifetime devotion with that gesture. Quite frankly, I am just as touched by a “Thanks!” as anything, though. Yes, even as much as Starbucks bucks.

I started thinking more about graciousness recently while reading a “Reader’s Choice Awards” section in a paper from a nearby city. It struck me as quite an honor to have the citizens of your community award you the distinction as being the “best.” Can you imagine? How cool! If I were a business owner, and were given that highest of honors, I would be bursting with so much love and gratitude, I’d come up with a special offer or gift – you know, something to give a hug back.

I started looking at the ads throughout the magazine-style section. There were 121 of them. Each, of course, said something like THANK YOU! and THANK YOU FOR VOTING US BEST FOR 5 YEARS IN A ROW!, etc. However, I was shocked to see that only 10 even offered some sort of a coupon or discount as a gesture of their gratitude. 10 out of 121. Wow. Most seemed to just give off the vibe of, “Of course you voted us the best – we ARE the best!”

The one – literally one – that stood out in the crowd was a Children’s Boutique that offered a free gift when their ad was brought into their store. It wasn’t even a “with purchase” type of thing. The owner (a lady with an understanding of graciousness) just wanted to hug back.

I hope she doesn’t feel lonely up there at the top.

Below are some of my favorite quotes about graciousness:

“Gratitude is the memory of the heart.” – J.B. Massieu

“Silent gratitude isn’t very much use to anyone.” – G.B. Stern

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” – William Arthur Ward

“Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that thankfulness is indeed a virtue.” – William J. Bennett

“Realize that when you get older, you either get senile or become gracious. There’s no in-between. You become senile when you think the world short-changed you, or everybody wakes up to screw you. You become gracious when you realize that you have something the world needs, and people are happy to see you when you come into the room.” – Carlos Santana

Filed Under: General, Relationships, Self Help Tagged With: graciousness, gratitude, Self Help, self help blog, thankfulness

Always Keep Your Humor Nearby And Apply, as Needed (Pssst…. It’s Always Needed!)

March 6, 2019 by Joi 1 Comment

Quote About the Importance of Having a Sense of Humor

 

“Life is a joke. The only way to survive it is to find the right punchline.” – Becky Alunan

A while back, it struck me just how important it is to have a sense of humor.  My husband and I had looked forward (literally for months) to a particular event.  When the big day finally arrived, we were like cats in a field of catnip.  I bought a great new purple top and we drove out of town to where the “next big thing” was going down.  Okay, okay, so buying a new pink or purple top isn’t that out of the norm for me, but still…

Our first stop was to eat a nice dinner out, of course. So we took the new purple top into a restaurant that’s normally flawless. It was so far from flawless this time that I’m still in shock.  If I’m lucky….if I’m really lucky… my stomach may one day forgive me.  They may have turned me against food forever. Yep. It was that bad.

So, we laughed that off – knowing the dinner wasn’t the big deal of the evening anyway.  We were on our way to that.

We should have stayed at the restaurant.

Months of anticipation, money that could have paid for more Starbucks trips than I care to calculate, and a great purple top all for naught.  So much planning! So much anticipation!

Yet, on the way home, all we could do was laugh about it.  Somehow…. it just struck us as terribly funny.

Isn’t it strange the way things sometimes turn out?  You see a movie or show that you really hadn’t thought much about and BAM it knocks your world off its axis.  Then you look forward to something for two forevers and boing  it bounces off the radar.

Oh well.  New top, good visit with the spouse, good laughs.  Hard to call it a bad evening.

During the ride home, it occurred to me just how important humor is.  I believe humor is the secret behind taking life’s lemons and making lemonade – the missing ingredient, as it were.

I had a really bad burn on my arm one time, courtesy of a grill that decided to shut on me.  It hurt 24/7 like the devil, itself, was running up and down my arm.  The only time it didn’t hurt was when I had aloe vera gel on it.  When the burn was exposed to the elements without the aloe vera gel, it was excruciating.  It felt like the tortures of the damned.

But as long as my cold, comforting salve was on it, everything was as beautiful and right as Halle Berry’s face.

A sense of humor is like a comforting salve for your psyche.  It’ll protect you from the burns of life – as long as you remember to put it on.  So always keep it nearby, you never know when you’ll need to apply it. Liberally.

~ Joi

Some of My Favorite Quotes about Humor:

Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh. – Wystan Hugh Auden

Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is. – Sir Francis Bacon

You grow up the day you have your first real laugh at yourself. – Ethel Barrymore

Some people are so dry that you might soak them in a joke for a month and it would not get through their skins. – Henry Ward Beecher

Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is. – Francis Bacon

There is no defense against adverse fortune which is so effectual as an habitual sense of humor. – Thomas W. Higginson

Want more Quotes about Humor?

Filed Under: Daily Quote, General, Self Help Tagged With: inspirational quotes, motivational quotes, Self Help, self help blog, sense of humor

7 Proven Strategies to Make Your New Habits Stick (Infographic)

April 25, 2017 by Joi 1 Comment

One of my favorite quotes about habits is by Samuel Johnson, “The chains of habit are generally too small to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.”  This is a great quote because it is so incredibly true. Making a habit STICK is where the magic is. After all, vowing to eat healthier and promising to get more sleep sound wonderful… but your body and mind won’t reap a single benefit unless you STICK with it.

The infographic below (made with Visme) outlines 7 Proven (and simple) Strategies to help make new habits stick around… as in stick around until they’re too strong to be broken.

7 Proven Strategies to Make Your New Habits Stick

Infographic made with Visme.


Filed Under: Infographics, Positive Thought, Problem Solving, Self Improvement Tagged With: Infographic, making habits stick, making new habits, Self Help

The One Superpower We All Have… The Power to Choose

July 26, 2016 by Joi Leave a Comment

Quote About Choices and Decisions
Who is your favorite superhero? Batman, Wonder Woman, Captain America, Thor, the Black Widow, Spiderman, Superman, Iron Man, Hawkgirl? With all due respect to all caped heroes and heroines, my top three are Hawkgirl, Iron Man, and Batman.  Though, after seeing the new trailer for Wonder Woman, I have a feeling my “top 3” is about to become a “top 4.”

That lasso, man.

We all love superheroes because they have this incredible amount of nobility and endless power they use for the good of mankind.

While we mere mortals may have varying degrees of nobility, we do have something in common with superheroes – we have our own superpower and can most certainly use it for good. This superpower is the power to choose.

I don’t know about you, but I often abuse my power. I am often confronted with two choices and exercise my superpower poorly by making the wrong choice.

We all struggle with the power to choose simply because we are, in fact, mere mortals.

Quote About Making Good Choices
Situation 1: We’re confronted by someone who is clearly in a bad mood. We have enough sense to SEE that but do we have enough sense to get out of the way? Not always. In fact, very often we charge right in, making a bad situation worse by responding to their harsh words with even harsher words. We take our power to choose and blow it to bits. In doing so, we take a bad situation and elevate it to a terrible situation – benefiting absolutely no one.

Situation 2: We can choose to take a walk or do a little yard-work – getting sunshine, fresh air, and exercise at one whack… or we can choose to stay inside and play a game online. How often do we make the wrong choice with this one? And let’s not even get into food choices!

Situation 3: We witness negativity and ugliness on social media. We can choose to rise above it and try to set an example for the immature mortals around us… OR we can get right down on their level and go toe to toe with them. When we make this poor choice, don’t we just increase the number of jackasses? 

The examples go on and on, but you get the idea. We have endless opportunities daily to exercise our superpower. The opportunities are so great that I’d never want to even attempt to count them. Our day is filled with moments and our moments are ripe with opportunities.

Life is the Sum of All Of Your Choices

How do we make better choices?

  1. The first step to making better choices is simply to acknowledge you are, in fact, making a choice. Take the first and last situations above, for example. If we were to train ourselves to be more mindful, we could train ourselves to pause before reacting to others. In that moment of pausing, we could then ask ourselves, “Is this the person I want to be? Do I want to mirror their behavior or aim higher than that?”
  2. The second step is to breath in, breath out and choose well. Ask yourself, which choice is “worthy of me?”  and which choice will “be best for me and others involved?” When it comes to most choices, the decision has to be made within seconds. You don’t always have time to sit down and write out a “Pros and Cons” outline (though I gotta admit, I love those). You have to recognize that you have a choice, then you have to make the one that is worthy of you, best for you, and best for everyone involved. Not the choice that feels good in the moment – but the one that’ll feel good after the moment has passed – because the rest of your life is a heck of a lot longer than that one moment.

If we were to acknowledge the power given to us each time we have a choice, perhaps we’d make smarter choices. Smarter choices = better life.

Wonder Woman would approve.

~ Joi (“Joy”)

Make Choices that are Worthy of Who You Are
 

 

Filed Under: Positive Thought, Problem Solving, Self Growth, Self Improvement Tagged With: choices, power to choose, self awareness, Self Help, self improvement

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